April 15, 2025 • 52 mins
Two friends candidly discuss the latest controversy surrounding Disney's Snow White remake and the questionable production choices that led to its underwhelming reception. From Gal Gadot's widely mocked performance as the Evil Queen to Rachel Zegler's promotional missteps, they explore how quickly public opinion can turn when celebrities fail to connect with beloved source material.
The conversation shifts to a troubling teacher-student relationship scandal that recently made headlines, examining society's problematic double standards when it comes to discussing inappropriate relationships. They thoughtfully consider how gender affects public perception in these cases, and why certain harmful narratives persist despite our progress.
Chapel Roan's controversial motherhood comments on the Call Her Daddy podcast become a springboard for a deeper discussion about the impossible standards women face. They reflect on how motherhood contains multitudes – simultaneously being the most challenging and most beautiful experience – and why simplified narratives fail to capture this complexity. Whether choosing career, motherhood, or both, women inevitably face criticism, creating an exhausting burden of judgment no matter which path they choose.
What emerges is a thoughtful meditation on making confident life choices despite societal pressures. The friends conclude that true freedom comes from making intentional decisions for yourself while developing the ability to tune out criticism. After all, "everyone is so worried about themselves that they don't truly care... you live with your decisions, no one else does." This authentic conversation reminds us that our choices belong to us alone, and finding peace means learning to trust ourselves amidst the noise.
How do you handle criticism of your life choices? Join the conversation and remember – being confident in your decisions is the ultimate form of empowerment.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Riss (00:01):
all right, welcome to another episode of this.
Stays between us.
We're gonna talk about somejust pop culture stuff, what's
going on in the unimportant newssection, but that's fun to know
and fun to talk about yeah, um,did you see that the new Snow
(00:22):
White movie came out?
Chrys (00:24):
Oh, yeah, do you have any interest in going to watch it?
Oh, no, no, this is so funnybecause people are going hard,
for I don't even know how to sayher last name Gal Gadot.
Gal Gadot, yeah.
Anyway, in her interview shepronounces the T, so, like funny
(00:45):
, I can't do it.
Gadot or something I don't know.
Riss (00:48):
I don't know she's like israeli, right?
I don't know how they wouldpronounce it.
Chrys (00:52):
I don't know either.
Um, yeah, I think.
So.
I don't know much about her.
I don't think I've ever seen amovie of hers maybe ever a
superwoman I never watched thatoh yeah I.
What else is she in?
I don't know um there was onethat we started that we didn't
finish.
That was like a spy movie or um, like a secret agent movie, I
(01:20):
think.
But I don't think.
I think we started it and wenever finished.
Riss (01:23):
I can't think of anything else that I've seen her in at
all, anyway, yeah yeah, butpeople say she sucks.
Chrys (01:29):
And I've seen these edits on tiktok.
Have you seen them?
Riss (01:32):
one from the snow white movie is bad like I've seen
people talking about gal gadotsaying she's um, she's like the
hot girl in theater class thatgets like a main role because
she's hot, but she like does notwant to be there.
Chrys (01:48):
Yeah, she's like the daughter of like one of the PTA
moms or something.
Riss (01:54):
Yeah, she just gets stuck.
Which honestly like it's funnybecause with the Superwoman
movie I don't know if it's justbecause, like the role she was
playing was like hot stuff orwhatever, but she was a big deal
back then where like everybodyloved her and thought she was
super hot and she was she was issuperman in the superwoman
(02:17):
movie, or is that no?
after afterwards.
I think they have like um, asuperwoman, like a sort of like
a league, justice league,justice league, that's what it
was.
Yeah, like a reunion sort ofthing, where it's like batman,
superman and superwoman.
I think they have that.
I never watched it, but I'mpretty sure they have a movie
(02:39):
like that, yeah another flop, Ithink.
Chrys (02:42):
Okay, I haven't, I didn't even hear about it, but I saw
like there was a clip that wasgoing around about how much her
acting sucks.
And she's going, she's sayinglike kal-el, no, but it's, I'm
gonna show you because it's sobad.
Riss (02:57):
Um, that's so funny that you're hearing more about gal
gadot.
I'm hearing more about theother girl, uh, rachel, yeah, um
, I don't know her last name butzegler, is that what it is, or
maybe I?
Actually really liked her.
Well, I liked her in um thehunger games, oh, yeah, I did
(03:20):
too.
Chrys (03:21):
She too.
She was really good in that.
Riss (03:21):
She was really good, but she is poor girl, honestly,
she's having kind of a hard timewith the whole Snow White thing
but, honestly, a little bitwarranted.
They kind of ruined the movieand it's such a classic, you
know, and there was so much thatthey could have done, which
(03:42):
maybe falls more on, like likethe director and producers of
the show.
But like snow, again, snowwhite is just a classic and yeah
, there was no reason to do whatthey did to the movie where,
like the dwarfs, they had cgi'dbut then they had somebody, like
a little person, actuallyacting in the movie where it was
(04:03):
like why couldn't you have hadthe dwarfs?
Like why couldn't you havecasted the dwarfs?
Yeah, like with real people youknow.
Chrys (04:11):
It's a good opportunity to employ a lot of people a
hundred percent anyway.
Riss (04:14):
It was just like these like weird, like things in the
movie.
Chrys (04:18):
The whole movie itself was just, yeah, disappointing
yeah, I, I've seen like bits andpieces of it, but it does look
pretty bad like the hair and theoutfit.
It just I don't know.
It doesn't look like a fulllike disney production at all.
It looks like it's.
It looks worse than thecostumes from like disneyland or
disney world, like you wouldthink they would.
(04:40):
I don't know.
It looks like a halloweencostume, I guess, and there's
the number of um yaga doing likethe song or whatever and it's
so bad like she's.
She looks like a little liketheater kid, like it doesn't,
and she's not like the music'snot good she's not really
selling you that.
She's like this queen orwhatever she's like I don't know
(05:03):
.
Riss (05:03):
And yeah, yeah, no, yeah the hair was it looks so bad
yeah it uh, lord and again it'sdisappointing because, like we
all, grew up with snow white,you know like yeah it's a good
story.
It's there, had there was a lotof potential for it to be
something that like a comfortmovie sort of thing, you know.
Chrys (05:25):
But flop the kiss while she's sleeping little
questionable.
I could maybe see them changingthat a little bit.
Yeah, maybe not the socialclimate for that right now, but
like true, but like you have tochange it that much but at least
in snow white's case, like likeshe knew the guy right that she
meets the prince before.
Riss (05:45):
Yeah, Sleeping Beauty is a whole other thing.
Chrys (05:50):
There's a lot of movies where they get kissed when
they're sleeping.
Riss (05:54):
Like at least there's no tongue, but still a little
sketch, yeah, but then I didlike I am kind of with that
whole opinion of like.
Why am kind of with that wholeopinion of like?
Why there's no need to changethe whole narrative of a, of a
yeah, of a story just to fit thelike, the like whatever is a
(06:14):
hot topic today, you know, yeah,their whole thing with making
it more like of a feminist moviewhere they don't need a man to
save.
I know that they did like someinterviews where they're like,
yeah, we don't really like theidea of like having a man come
save us because we're strongwomen and stuff, and yeah, I
(06:37):
think that there's a time and aplace for that kind of
conversation.
But in the context of snowwhite, there's also no issue in
being a woman who wants love too.
Chrys (06:49):
You know, they're not mutually exclusive and everyone
wants love, right, I thinkthat's everyone wants
companionship.
I feel like that's fine and itdoesn't yeah, it doesn't have to
be one or the other, like youcould be a very strong character
and still one companionship and, if anything, it like there's
also a powerful message in beinglike your own person, but then
(07:11):
being able to combine lives withsomeone else.
Um, also like, yeah, you wantto teach that to kids, for sure,
but also like you're puttingway too much weight on like a
little silly story.
Riss (07:23):
You know, that's just supposed to be like hope and
people are nice and all thesedifferent things like yeah
that's like the and like role ofdisney and and then I feel like
doing that whole thing alsodisempowers who's not, who's no
white was because she, eventhough, like, in the end, a man
(07:43):
comes and like wakes her up orwhatever, she does have this um,
important message of standingup for herself and speaking
against a powerful queen and notallowing, like the, the man,
the man who takes her out intothe woods and tries to kill her,
like she manages to escape fromthat and kind of like builds a
(08:05):
life for herself and like I feellike there's, you can work with
that and it's still in therealms of like the actual story,
you can empower the womanwithout having to change
everything you know.
Chrys (08:16):
Yeah and it's also like and I'm not hating on the story,
I'm just like they're overcomplicating it but also like
the story is about like who'sthe fairest of them all, like,
yeah, it's about who's thehottest, and like hot or not,
it's not a ton of, it's not afeminist movie exactly like,
(08:37):
yeah, and it is just a fairytale and it's just a nostalgic
story, right, because, again, weall kind of grew up on it Also.
I think there's also somethingempowering in I don't know,
making the guy do a lot of thework.
(08:58):
Yeah, so I don't have toExactly Not necessarily like I
want to make my own money, allthose other things, but it's
like I'm gonna open my own doorthere's nothing wrong with being
a princess.
Riss (09:13):
I don't like taking out the trash is a boy job in fact
we should be pushing for that domore of the work.
Chrys (09:23):
Men should be picking up their weight, I agree it's like
like I carried two babies fornine months, like I'm not
lifting a finger when we'rebringing home groceries.
Riss (09:35):
A hundred percent like um and and like.
The other thing too is like ifdisney wants to take uh, like if
, if they want to have more oflike a feminist uh position in
society or whatever, then justdon't recreate the movie.
Yeah, don't recreate it.
(09:58):
If you're gonna change thewhole thing, write something new
.
Chrys (10:01):
The funny thing is is that the whole point, like you
would think, is either makemoney or send a powerful message
.
They miss the powerful messagelike train.
They're losing a bunch of moneyon this.
So, yeah, it's like.
What is the reason?
Yeah, yeah, make new stories.
Make stories that are like yeah, like I don't know yeah, and it
(10:25):
was very.
Riss (10:26):
I think it was pretty bad for their career too.
Gal gadot and rachel yeah.
Insert last name, yeah it'sjust sad.
Chrys (10:35):
Yeah, I don't dislike.
I mean, I know that she'sgotten some heat from like
social media stuff.
She's like.
I don't know exactly what itwas, to be honest, I didn't
really read read into it, but Iguess she posted some things
online that were like aggressivetowards one of the political
parties and um towards like someindividuals, and people took
(10:56):
offense to that um, and I thinkI do feel like people are not
investing in PR teams anymore orlike media training right,
because I feel like if you havea big platform, I do feel like
to a certain degree, you do havea responsibility to use it
(11:18):
wisely and try to good, do goodthings and whatnot, um, but you
can do that without attackingpeople, I feel.
And does that ever really changeanyone's mind or like anyone's
position?
I don't think it's veryproductive.
So, I think promoting the goodthings and like um, like things
that you stand for, I'm all forthat.
(11:40):
I think that's good and youshould.
And like why not?
And like people tend to likewant to know your life and what
you think when you're famous,and they want to know whether or
not they want to support youwith their dollars, depending on
who you vote for, or whateveryour ideas, your values.
I feel like that's valid.
But yeah, it sounded like sheagain, I don't know sounded like
(12:03):
she didn't necessarily do itthat way and said some things
that she had to apologize for,and I just saw some um critics
saying how that really hurt themovie too, of like the message
that she was trying to send.
She wasn't able to do itbecause of that um.
So I don't know, I think it wasjust like the perfect storm the
production sucked, the hiringsucked not by the leads
(12:26):
necessarily, I mean maybe one ofthem and then the seven dwarfs
situation.
Like I think it just it was.
Riss (12:34):
Yeah, I was just not very well executed and I do feel bad
for like the heat that she'sgetting I she's probably, from
what I understand, she's gettingpretty heavily bullied.
Yeah, I don't agree with any ofthe stances she's taken.
I don't agree how with how likeshe has gone um, how she has
faced all of it, but I do feelbad for her oh, 100 like that
(12:55):
would be hard to deal with.
Chrys (12:57):
yeah, people, and I mean I don't know the extent of it,
but I'm sure she's gettingbullied and death threats and
all sorts of things- yeah,people take it way too far.
That's never justifiable.
Like it's crazy, like that'sjust yeah, I know I agree with
that.
I feel like that's, and that'shard too, because like that's
(13:18):
her livelihood.
Maybe she made a mistake, maybeshe didn't how she approached
things, but like she's still aperson, she still needs to have
a job, like well, I mean, shecan get another job, probably
not in acting, but oh yeah, butlike if that's all you have
training for.
Like that sucks yeah, yeah,yeah.
Riss (13:40):
No, it does suck and it's important to know, yeah, how to
use the platform you're given,but I think what does suck,
though, is that she took thisstance that feels like it would
have been applauded by societyin the sense of because I feel
(14:02):
like a lot of conversations hadbeen going in that direction of,
like making disney movies moreempowering towards women and all
that stuff.
Like that was a big thing thatpeople were talking about, um,
but then I also think that therewas just some sort of like, um,
people got tired of it, youknow it.
Like, yeah, okay, we don't haveto like women don't have to be
(14:29):
these super empowering, strongwomen all the time.
Like we can want love and wecan want a family, and if one of
us wants to be a stay-at-homemom, like yeah, like, let her be
, you know, like there's nothingwrong with ideas like giving
you more options, not limitingyou one way or the other, or
like increasing expectations onexactly so I think, it got to a
(14:50):
point where there was just alittle bit of exhaustion with
that um narrative and and andthen.
so it was like at a bad time forher to say what she said,
because I think that's likeright when everybody was just
like no, we, we're tired of this, like just let women be women
(15:14):
and let us watch a cute fairytale, like some of us, like
Hallmarks.
Chrys (15:16):
There's nothing wrong with that.
There's got to be a variety ofoptions, right, it doesn't have
to be just one niche or theother.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, I agree other, Idon't know.
Riss (15:29):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, um.
You know what is crazy.
This is like real new stuff.
Though did you see that teacher, that um, like a high school
teacher that was dating one ofthe students?
Chrys (15:38):
I think dating is the wrong word, yeah, but the other
one?
Riss (15:44):
is very censored.
So who is?
Yeah, yes, um, involvedunconsensually, non-consensually
with a student?
Chrys (15:55):
yeah, and the one that had um, the notes app or
something.
Yes, which embarrassing.
I.
I didn't even I'm gonna be soreal, I didn't fully read it.
I read the title and it waslike she had a notes app that
said that he cheated on her orsomething.
Riss (16:13):
So I did read it.
Okay, she had.
They were like this is soembarrassing, because I have
definitely done this, like withmen that clarify on which part I
am going to clarify more thanyou need the notes part.
With men of age that I havedated in the past.
(16:35):
I think we all have like yousort of you want to send a text
or whatever.
You kind of like plan it out onthe notes app, oh yeah, or
whatever, talk it through chatgpt first.
Yeah, does this sound crazy?
Um, yeah, so I feel like it's acommon thing.
But like, within this contextof like you're doing this for a
(16:58):
16 year old, like that's just,oh my gosh, so embarrassing and
I mean wrong.
But yeah, one of so one of themessages was kind of like or
sorry, one of the notes on hernotes app was her kind of
writing out I don't know if itwas a message she ended up
(17:20):
sending to him or if it was justher like venting or whatever
but she just like writes out howhe did her wrong and how he
keeps coming back and how, like,um, he's dating this other girl
now but she knows that he wantsher and and that kind of thing.
Where, again, I don't know if,like, it's something she ended
(17:41):
up sending to him or if it wasjust her venting on her like
notes app, yeah, which againembarrassing You're tweaking out
over a 16-year-old.
It's embarrassing enough, likefor me, when that would happen
with boys my age no.
Chrys (18:05):
You know, anyway, uh, anyway, so crazy, and she's the
teacher or the kid's teacher, sothen it's crazy.
Riss (18:11):
but that wasn't it.
There was like two other notesthat that were like sent out in
the media of manifesting him,what you know, like she, she had
it written out Like um I don'tremember her exact words, but
(18:35):
paraphrasing basically like weare going to end up together, I,
um, I'm going to get over, likeI'm going to live my life and
he's going to start thinkingabout me and he's going to want
me and we will always be in eachother's life and he will want
me.
(18:55):
It was like, and I think thenotes was called like
manifestation.
It was like her putting it outinto the universe you know, like
this is going to happen, we'realways going to be involved with
each other and I think theirony is that it kind of
happened like not the way sheprobably wanted, but yeah, they
will be like forever, likethere's always gonna be an
(19:17):
asterisk for her, like that shewas, of the charges he pressed
against her yeah, yeah, oh mygosh, that's just like to me
it's so sad and the commentsthat I've seen on the stuff like
on tiktok and stuff justdiscuss like I, it bothers me so
(19:39):
much because it's like um,there's, there's still like um,
people who will put that on apedestal of like a 16 year old
boy hooking up with this hot 30year old.
You know, it's like some sort ofbadge of honor and these like
(20:02):
comments kind of say that likeoh, this boy is probably getting
high fives from all his friendslike he's probably the coolest
guy right now for being able tohook up with like a hot older
woman.
When it's like he he's, how canyou say that he's like a little
kid, she's a grown, marriedwoman married, married.
(20:24):
That's not the most scandalouspart of all that, but still no,
but it's like it kind of adds toit and yeah, um, yeah, and it's
grooming.
You would not be saying thesame thing if, like, the genders
were reversed right, like ifshe was a man and he was a girl,
like that would you know.
Chrys (20:45):
It's crazy, though it's horrible.
Did you ever watch prettylittle liars?
Uh-huh horrible, I like.
I tried restarting thatrecently because I, when I was
younger, I watched it fully andI was team ezra and aria all the
way.
I was like her parents justdon't understand I was so
(21:08):
against it.
Riss (21:08):
You have no idea.
Chrys (21:10):
I hated it together.
Yes, I always had a bettersense there on that I had such
like from a very young age.
I feel like I had such acompass of like age gaps between
people and it's funny because Ifeel like in Brazil people
don't care, which is really badbut like yeah, and I think that
(21:32):
sometimes I might have been likea little bit overboard about it
but that's better than anythingon the other end of the
spectrum.
Riss (21:39):
I was literally with, like Ezra and Aria.
I was always like rootingagainst them every single time
and I would even try to justifyit in my head like, okay, if he
started college at like a really, really young age and then
maybe he graduated maybe he'slike 20, like, and I don't even
remember like the youngest age Iwas able to pull up was like 21
(22:01):
or something.
I was like, maybe he's 21.
I was like and still it's solike he's 21 and she's 16, like
I can't get behind it.
Chrys (22:11):
I can't that is the right side of history to be on.
I think it's.
Yeah, I mean it's not funny,it's crazy because I mean I
don't even know if I want to getinto this but, I feel like in
Brazil and again it's bad, butit wasn't uncommon for someone
to be like 16 or whatever andallowed to date and then like,
(22:35):
have a guy, like come home froma mission or something and then,
like them, start dating.
Riss (22:39):
It was almost like, oh my gosh, there's this guy coming
back and I was like a 21 yearold come like and it's so bad
and I like didn't even thinkabout that because it was so
like common.
Chrys (22:51):
But yeah, when I watched the show I was like he's hot, I
don't know like that's so fun,he's the teacher like he's in
such a position of yeah power.
I see clips of that now and I'mlike it just makes vomiting.
Riss (23:04):
Oh my gosh.
I just questioned the judgmentof, honestly, well, the adult,
that's who I questioned thejudgment.
Chrys (23:14):
Well, yeah, the most but I mean not that the show is that
important, but how did prettylittle liars hit the tv?
How was that on for like what?
Seven, eight years?
I know like how, how are what?
I and I think I don't know.
I never finished it, but Ithink they end up together.
Riss (23:33):
I yeah, I think.
So.
I think like it's always thisthere's like a part in pretty
little liars where they startthinking that ezra is a there's
like some suggestion, like itsuggests that think.
I kind of remember that Like itsuggests that a little bit and I
was rooting for that so much.
I was like he's disgusting, heis A Like, he is the person, and
I was like finally they're likegoing to make sense of him,
(23:55):
like this whole thing of him,his pedo behavior, but yeah, but
no.
And then he wasn't.
He's still like a good guy orwhatever, and still like a good
guy or whatever.
And I just I hate any kind ofglamorizing about that kind of
thing.
Chrys (24:10):
I just think there's like no place for it.
Yeah, no, I agree it'sinteresting because, like I
would, I never.
I always was against evendating guys my age directly,
guys younger than me, was like adefinite no, I don't care if
it's like 30 days, I was like itwill get away from me.
You're a child, yes, but Idefinitely was always into older
(24:33):
guys and that was not yeah,great, yeah, yeah, which I mean.
Riss (24:40):
Yeah, I don't blame you.
I feel like, as like being theyounger person, it it's hard to
see anything wrong with it, Iguess, because it's just like
yeah, like what do you?
Chrys (24:54):
know I mean obviously, like when you're under age is a
whole different thing, but whenyou're both legal, even still
like I feel like after like 25.
Riss (25:02):
I'm a little less judgment , judgmental of like, yeah, any
kind of age gap, but before 25it's like your frontal, like
lobe, is not developed.
You are still like learning howto live, you know and who you
(25:27):
are and what you aren't and yeah, do you and your boyfriend have
an age gap?
Two years he's older.
Chrys (25:40):
That's fair.
Yeah, I mean that's not bad.
Josh is three years older thanme.
Yeah, does not feel like it.
Riss (25:49):
What does it feel like?
Chrys (25:50):
That he's younger by a few years.
Riss (25:57):
He's great, but sometimes I'm like that's like normal.
That's why we usually dateolder men, older guys.
Chrys (26:03):
Yeah, that's funny.
Riss (26:04):
I like forget a lot of the times, but yeah, two years yeah
, no, and there was one guy Iwent out with one time that was
like 14 years older than me.
Yeah, this was.
I was like 26, I want to say,when I went out with him, we
(26:27):
went out on two dates and Icould not do it.
I was like this is way tooweird, I can't do it, I'm sorry,
um.
Chrys (26:36):
So yeah, that was short-lived but yeah, I'm not
even gonna get on the topic.
But yeah, I mean, I only wenton like one accidental date with
someone that was a lot olderthan me.
Um, it was kind of not fullyintentional, but that sounds so
(26:59):
bad, I know yeah, I think Ithink I was 22, I don't know 23.
Anyway, it was like just reallyawkward.
And the funny thing is, though,is that my friend was like on a
.
She was like dating this guywho was, um, quite a bit older
than her too.
Like they were, the guys werefriends and I don't know exactly
(27:19):
what they but um around there,probably like a lot of years
anyway, but it was funny becausewe were at this bowling place
and there was supposed to belike a group of years anyway,
but it was funny because we wereat this bowling place and there
was supposed to be like a groupof us, but ended up being like
four of us, so it kind of endedup being a date, and there were
these like boys on the lane nextto us looking over, and they
were just like horrified, and Iwas like so am.
Riss (27:45):
He doesn't even have money .
I know what am I doing here.
Chrys (27:50):
I think he did, but that didn't matter.
Yeah, I mean, I'll be real, Ithought about it, but I just
couldn't do it.
Riss (27:58):
Yeah, no, that's tough, and I mean to each their own.
You know, I feel like there area lot of relationships that
work out that are like there's abig age gap, but again like if
you're old enough to make thatkind of decision, that like
that's something you want, thatthere's nothing wrong with that,
but when it's when you're youngand it just when it smells like
(28:21):
somebody's taking advantage ofyou, like that.
I just can't get behind it.
Chrys (28:25):
You and I feel like and this is maybe true, for this is
definitely true for everyrelationship, but I think it
also depends on, like powerdynamics and things and like if
you're going to be financiallydependent on someone like that?
I probably wouldn't befinancially dependent on anybody
ever.
But yeah, just I don't know.
I think that can influence howsuccessful the relationship can
be.
Yeah, um, but yeah, I don'tknow tough stuff yeah um.
Riss (28:56):
On another note though, did you see the chapel roan
interview with I did on she'sher daddy, or she's her?
Chrys (29:08):
that's a good name.
She's her own daddy.
Riss (29:11):
Maybe we should use that name.
Call her daddy yeah, I did.
Chrys (29:17):
I I didn't watch the full interview.
I saw clips that everyone wasfreaking out about um.
Do you have opinions, thoughts,feelings?
Riss (29:24):
yeah, I, I remember I listened to that podcast.
I feel like this, this episode,I am like just like venting so
much my frustrations with somany things.
But, um, I I listened to thatpodcast even before I saw any
(29:46):
sort of comment on it, okay, andso I kind of had formed an
opinion even before I saw whatpeople were saying about it,
okay, and I remember justthinking like the stuff that she
said I was like hot take.
And by the end of it I was likeI like Chapel Roan's music.
I really like, I'll be honest,I don't listen to too much new
(30:12):
music at all, which is characterflaw.
I kind of wish I like kept upwith new music.
I have like my same songs Ilisten to all the time.
Anyway, in the same way, but thesongs I have heard from her
like they're really good, likethere's a I feel like she's
actually famous for her talent,like she's very good.
Um, and I know a lot of peoplethat are huge fans of her.
(30:35):
You know like listen to herstuff, know a lot about her.
Um, I listened to thisinterview and I remember just by
the end of it I was like like,like I'm not her biggest fan,
like I just don't, didn't agreewith a lot of the stuff that she
said and was put off by a lotof it too.
Yeah, um, but didn't think toomuch of it.
Like it was one of those thingsthat I was just like.
(30:56):
She makes good music.
Probably wouldn't be her friendin real life, you know.
Chrys (31:00):
Like yeah she gives off like try to be an influencer for
a day, kind of vibe, like shehates her life yeah, no, very
negative, very negative and verylike it's cool to be negative
kind of energy.
You know which I'm not here for,like I don't like that kind of
and like I don't know how hardthe music industry is and like
(31:23):
whole like hollywood people.
I know there's a like reallydark side to all of it, but I
mean she's talented, she's likeliving her dream right, she has
money, she has a lot ofprivilege, so it's kind of
interesting to like have such anegative energy.
I I haven't seen too much ofher either.
I've listened to some of hersongs.
I like her songs.
Um, I don't keep up too muchwith like the new things she's
(31:45):
coming out with.
I don't know if she's come outwith anything, but I have seen
like some stuff of hers onTikTok before of her coming out
and saying like stop asking mewho I'm voting for and what
political stance I have, orwhatever.
Riss (31:59):
Which I honestly that kind of thing I respect because it's
like I do too.
Chrys (32:03):
I mean I think there's two sides to it Right.
I do too.
I mean I think there's twosides to it right.
I think we should not belooking to celebrities or
influencers or whatever to tellus who to vote for or which
opinions to have.
I agree with that.
I don't think that's she's.
I don't know she doesn't havethe level of education or
whatever it is, to make thosetypes of claims.
(32:23):
But I do understand the factwhere, like, people want to know
what she stands for before theylike, support her.
Like, I feel like that's theopinion that a lot of people
have.
Like, if we don't have the samevalues or whatever, I don't
want to contribute to your famewith my dollars or whatever.
Riss (32:44):
I can understand that.
Chrys (32:46):
But at the same time, like she doesn't give
conservative.
So I feel like you can assumewho she votes for or what her
opinions are.
Um, I do I don't know how muchwe want to just dive into it but
I I do think that, like a lotof people and again she's very
negative no, her biggest fan.
(33:08):
She has like her own takes.
I have some opinions on thattoo, but I did think it was like
too much that, like a lot oflike conservative people were
coming out being like I lovemotherhood, how dare you say
this about me?
Or whatever.
It's like you don't support her, right?
She clearly doesn't have thesame opinions you do.
(33:29):
Let's just keep scrolling likeyou know, I think it's one of
those where, like the people whofollow her and support her and
whatever, if maybe they have anissue, whatever, that's
different, but like, if youdon't support her, you don't
agree with her life choices, youdon't whatever.
Like then why does what she saylike?
(33:50):
What she says shouldn't matter,right?
To you because you don't agreewith her like yeah, and how old
is?
Riss (33:54):
she?
I have no idea.
I honestly thought she wasolder, but then I thought she
was young.
I thought she was like 20 but Ithink she's like 30.
No, I think I was wrong abouther being like.
I thought she was older andthen, after this whole thing, I
think I was wrong about herbeing like I thought she was
older and then, after this wholething, I think she can't be
like more than 18.
Chrys (34:14):
I don't know, I I don't think that's right.
I think she's is she if she'sold.
Riss (34:18):
I would be very surprised if she's older than us?
Chrys (34:22):
I have no idea 27.
Riss (34:26):
Oh, that to me is very surprising.
She definitely gives off anenergy of being very young and
that's honestly the biggestbenefit of the doubt that I gave
her, which has been removed.
No, but I thought, like in myhead I was like she's just like
a young girl and like doesn'thave like tons of exposure to
(34:50):
life yet or whatever.
I don't know, not that I mean,yeah, how much exposure do I
have?
But like, um, it was just, itwas with her platform and her
position.
It was a pretty bold thing forher to be saying about
motherhood and yeah, I.
Chrys (35:07):
I didn't watch the full thing again, but it sounded like
she said like parents.
She didn't know any parents.
It didn't sound like shespecified mothers, but maybe she
did.
I don't know she did so.
Riss (35:16):
She was, she was, her thing was, um.
She was talking about herfriends and how most of her
friends have, um, become mothersand are kind of living more of
this traditional life.
And she's out here like makingmusic and hollywood and all this
stuff and she's just like Idon't know anybody who has kids
(35:41):
that like still has like lightin their eyes basically, yeah,
they they're just all miserableyeah, I feel like that's harsh.
Chrys (35:50):
Well, I think also like I was, I guess when I saw parts
of it, I was thinking like Iwonder what the friends think
about that.
Yeah, I, just because it's likemotherhood is hard.
It is like it's like the mostbeautiful, exhausting, terrible
thing you'll ever do.
Like it's all the things right.
(36:11):
Yeah, you have good days, youhave bad days.
It's hard.
Riss (36:13):
Yeah, and to be honest, like nothing that's rewarding,
doesn't come with like that partof being hard with it you know,
100% Like, and you're doingsomething new and like you, I
don't know.
I guess there's a whole likelittle human that depends on you
.
Chrys (36:30):
Like it is hard, yeah yeah.
And like and it's, it's tough,cause like some people will only
fear monger you abouteverything.
It's like just wait, just wait,just wait, it gets worse, just
wait, it gets worse all the time.
It's exhausting Cause like evenwhen you're trying to be
positive, sometimes like otherpeople are like about it, but
then there's other people thatjust glorify it and say it's so
(36:50):
easy and it's so whatever, andit's it's not right.
Like I think it has two sidesand I feel like also I don't
know her friend's situations,but like maternity leave is not
a thing, like paid maternityleave.
For most places daycare pricesare insanely expensive.
Most people can't afford toonly live on one income.
(37:11):
Like yeah, it is hard outsideof just the motherhood part too.
It's like the finances andtrying to figure all that out
logistically yeah difficult.
Being pregnant can suck.
I, some people have a totaleasy time.
Total easy time.
I hated being pregnant.
Be so real like I loved havinga little baby.
It was fun or whatever it'slike.
No, he was there and littlekicks and there were like little
(37:34):
milestones that we reached andthat was really exciting, but
like I was puking the whole time.
That's tough.
Like has good and bad sides toit.
You bring the human into theworld and you love it so much or
sometimes it takes a little bitto bond, but like you do love
it and you want to take care ofhim or her.
And but then, like your bodychanges and you're in pain and
you might have like chronicpains that come from like having
(37:55):
carried children and like andthen they but they like, they
grow and they learn differentthings and it's so exciting and
you're teaching them and you'reseeing how they're picking up on
things.
But then they might like throwfits because they don't want to
eat and it's hard to feed themand it's like they might need a
nap and they don't want to godown and they're freaking out
(38:15):
Like it's beautiful, it's thebest thing I've done, but it's
the hardest thing I've done.
Riss (38:20):
Yeah, like, and it can be both things.
Yeah, both can be true.
Yeah, talking about like thatwhole idea of how, how hard it
is to be a mom in in the senseof like, like the noise around
being a mother because it'sthere is so much of like being
(38:45):
on extremes, where people arelike you can't say it's hard
without people being like, oh mygosh, you should be like you're
a horrible mom because you'resaying it's hard.
And then there's the other sidewhere, like, you're super
positive about it.
And then there's people thatare like you're not being honest
, like you got to be honestabout motherhood or whatever.
Yeah, 100%, and it's just like,creates so much more difficulty.
(39:07):
And I think you're right tooabout imagine being her.
I just can't imagine like beingone of her friends and hearing
that interview and just beinglike that's the last time I come
like vent to you about like,yeah, like how hard things are.
Chrys (39:23):
You know they might be having a hard day, they might be
having a hard like, like goingthrough a tough phase, like I'm.
For everyone it's different.
For me, like, the verybeginning was harder, harder
because I like you're notsleeping and you're like I was
trying to figure outbreastfeeding and all these
different things.
So like, for a period it wasn'tjust like a day that it was
hard, it was like several days,months or whatever for a period
(39:45):
there that like were difficult.
But it doesn't mean like youhate your kid or you hate your
decision maybe you do, andthat's a whole other thing like
and that could definitely be athing, but like that's very like
small yeah, yeah, I think mostof the time.
Like you love your kid, you madea decision to bring him to the
world.
You're trying to take care ofit and like.
But it's just hard sometimesand like and it's so okay to be
(40:09):
hard.
You know, yeah, and I think yeah, I feel like a lot of the times
they'll say like, just wait,just wait, it gets worse.
We should be saying wait itgets better Because, like, the
thing that's hard right now,that's making it difficult right
now, that part is going to geteasier.
Sure, you're going to haveother things that are going to
be hard at different points ofyour life, but like, oh, my
alarm.
But, like the sleeping thing,they end up sleeping through the
(40:32):
night, like you're going tosleep again.
You're going to feel likeyourself again.
Your body's going to heal, likeyou're after you're pregnant,
like you're not, hopefullyyou're going to be sick anymore.
Like things get better and likemaybe your kid will go through a
phase where, like, they don'twant to eat and they're
difficult to feed, phase where,like they don't want to eat and
they're difficult to feed.
That's going to go away andit's going to get easier.
You're going to have anotherchallenge, but like the thing
(40:53):
that you're struggling withright now is temporary and it's
always going to be um.
So I like, I like that ideamore of like it gets better.
But I do think you should beable to have conversations and
it's a tough balance, right, buthave conversations without
scaring people.
Like certain things like I likeI don't know, I guess it's it's
just a hard balance to even getinto it.
(41:13):
But like there are certainthings that happened through
pregnancy, giving birth, havinglittle kids that I didn't know
about and I like read books onit, I talked to people about it,
um, that I wish I had been moreprepared for.
But then there were a lot ofthings that people fear mongered
me on, a lot that I that endedup not being a problem that I
(41:35):
spent so much time worryingabout you know, so it just um,
it's just kind of tough.
You just kind of have to blockout the noise and make the
decision for yourself.
Riss (41:45):
I think, yeah, and it's so hard to like, um, I don't know.
Know how somebody else isexperiencing anything but
especially motherhood.
Chrys (42:00):
You know, parenthood, parenting um, pregnancy and all
that stuff I agree, and I dothink it's unfair, I guess in
defense of our friends, but Ithink it's unfair to go out and
say stuff like that about yourfriends because, like as a
friend, I would have been upset,like if I like vented to you
that I'm going through a toughtime or whatever, and you're
kind of saying that like I'velost something, maybe I can't
(42:24):
get back, or something that likeit's not going to get better
whatever it is, and also likeyou're kind of implying that I
hate my life, I hate my kid,like it's just not great.
Um, I do think, I don't know, Iguess we can go a few different
directions on this.
But like I, I don't know, I shehas her opinions.
I guess she can say whatevershe wants.
It doesn't change my life,whatever she says.
(42:52):
There are tough moments, thereare great moments, whatever, I
think.
I just I think it was kind of alot like there were a lot of
people like trying toovercompensate like in responses
because they're like what ifpeople don't want to have kids
anymore?
Riss (42:58):
and it's like not anybody that wanted to have kids, is
still gonna have kids yeah, Iwould hope that one person's
comment doesn't change and iftheir opinions changed on what
chapeleroan said or anyone saidthen.
Chrys (43:11):
Maybe they were never meant to be a baron.
Riss (43:13):
They never really wanted it and and yeah, I'm like I
completely agree, like if shedoesn't want to have kids, like
all power to her, you know yeah,like you shouldn't like if you
don't want to.
Chrys (43:25):
That's not something you should.
Riss (43:26):
It's not something you have to do but, I, I do think it
kind of sucks when people justkind of like shit on other
people's decisions lifedecisions because they don't
agree with them agree with themor don't want.
Chrys (43:41):
I mean, I'm sure she has had people do that to her, and
so I doubt that feels, good,yeah, and it's probably not.
I'm not saying it justifiesthat at all.
I'm just saying like if you'veexperienced that, you think that
you would do it less becauseyou know that people want to do
their own things.
Riss (43:57):
Yeah, but yeah, you do bring up a good point that she
probably comes from.
She does come from a culture, Iguess I can't say that for sure
.
Like I'm assuming she comesfrom a place that, um, like more
traditional, that people getmarried and have kids and that's
kind of like the thing youshould do and she probably has
(44:20):
had like a to build a narrativearound it to because she's doing
life different, you know.
So she probably feels Iwouldn't, I wouldn't be
surprised, I guess is what I'msaying if she feels very
defensive about the decisionsshe's made, to the point of
having to say something likethat, you know to be fair, the
people that criticize her areprobably conservative.
Chrys (44:42):
Yeah, so, like she probably is like intentionally
or unintentionally attacking agroup that she feels like has
attacked her, or something likeyeah, yeah, and let's just stop
attacking each other.
Let's just let people makedecisions for their lives and,
you know, roll with it.
Yeah, no, I agree, I do thinkit's interesting too.
(45:03):
I, I think I reposted it.
I saw this girl sayingsomething about it and she was
saying kind of what you weresaying like um, women just get
criticized so much, let's justleave women alone, which is so
true.
I feel like their expectationsare like insane, because it's
like if you work and your mom,it's like you should stop
(45:25):
working.
You're being selfish.
And then, if you don't work andyou're home with your kid, it's
like you don't have an identityand you don't, yeah and you're
home with your kid.
Riss (45:31):
it's like you don't have an identity and you don't have a
life.
Chrys (45:32):
Yeah, like you're not financially contributing or
whatever it is, and then it's sohard and so confusing and like
I've chosen to essentially doboth things.
I guess that's where I findfulfillment but that's not where
everyone does, like you know.
But yeah, I find it just kindof interesting and it's also
(45:55):
kind of crazy, because I mean, Igrew up hearing like you're not
supposed to work, like maybeget an education in case, like
your husband dies one day, butlike your job is to stay at home
and like yeah don't go dreamingtoo big.
Yeah, and I think that's wrong.
Yeah, I feel like you shouldmake decisions for yourself and
like having kids is a choice andit's not like your only calling
(46:18):
in life and exactly.
But if you do want to have them, it you make the decision that
you want to have them and youunderstand the commitment that
you're making.
You absolutely should, and I've, I've loved it, I love being a
mom and I also like working andthat's worked for me and I've
done both and I like it.
But I hear criticism all thetime of like you shouldn't,
(46:41):
you'd be selfish or whatever itis, and it's like I don't care.
Yeah, I do what works for meand you should do what works for
you and that's the end as youshould.
Riss (46:52):
I feel like, um, no matter what you do, you're gonna have
haters, like you don't even needa social media account, like
you'll.
You'll have haters in real life, you know.
So you just gotta do what, whatfeels right for you and what
makes sense for you, and um, andlive a good life for yourself.
(47:15):
You know, and, and, and learnhow to kind of turn down the
volume of the noise around you.
I agree, and I think, which isreally hard to do, it is like I
have a really hard time withcriticism I'll be the first to
say it so, but it is somethingthat I definitely want to be
(47:36):
better at, especially as a woman, because a lot of the time it
feels like, no matter what youdo, you're doing something wrong
100%.
Chrys (47:45):
Yeah, no, I agree, I think I don't know.
Maybe this is not the bestapproach, I don't know, but
what's helped me is kind of justtry to see where people are
coming from.
Not that that justifies thembeing a jerk or rude or whatever
, but like I don't know, justthinking about it, like I think
a lot of people have madedecisions for their lives based
(48:05):
off of what other people wantedthem to do, and so they become
defensive of those decisions andthem being rude or whatever.
Trying to pressure them to do,and so they become defensive of
those decisions and them beingrude or whatever.
Trying to pressure you to dosomething is just them trying to
justify their own lives yeah soit's none of my business yeah,
their problem, yeah, yeah, it'snone of my business.
Riss (48:26):
None of my business.
What you think of my businessit is not.
Chrys (48:30):
It's like I don't want to know.
Yeah, and if you tell me likethat's cool, I'm just gonna be
like okay, and I'm just gonnakeep rolling and at the end of
the day, like everyone is soworried about themselves that,
like they don't, it's gonnasound bad.
They don't truly care.
They don't care like you livewith your decisions, no one else
(48:51):
does.
Like they might give you anopinion in the moment or for a
period of time, but they'regonna forget and move on like no
one cares that much yeah, yeah,you shouldn't let somebody's
side eye affect you too much itain't gonna pay my bills, so I
don't care well, becausehonestly, also, at the end of
(49:13):
the day, like they disagree withyour decisions, you probably
disagree with theirs too, and Ifeel like you should.
Riss (49:18):
Just a lot of like that helps me sometimes is just
remembering.
That is like if, if somethingis affecting me too much, it's
like, well, I disagree with them, you know and how they're
approaching it.
So I mean, try to be asrespectful as you can.
Chrys (49:40):
Right, keep it to yourself, but like yeah, yeah,
yeah, I agree, yeah, honestly,it's just I don't know.
The mindset now is like it'snone of my business, yeah, it's,
it's not my problem.
Yeah, and and yeah, youshouldn't take advice from
anyone that doesn't have thelife that you want or have the
(50:02):
things that you want.
Like, yeah, I'm not takingadvice or opinions from
chaperone or whoever aboutmotherhood, when, like, she's
not a mom.
Like, yeah and it doesn't.
Like it doesn't.
Yeah, it's not if she had somecrazy good tip on how to get my
son to eat anything other thansandwiches, I would take it.
Or if she was willing to sendme a large sum of money to have
(50:25):
an opinion in my life, I mightlet her.
But outside of that I'm not mybusiness.
Riss (50:34):
I love it.
Um well, yeah, I think that,summing up, I feel like this
whole thing, this whole episode,has been a lot about just like,
like and I feel like it'smostly directed towards women,
but even for men just like and Ifeel like it's mostly directed
towards women, but even for menjust like be confident in what
(50:54):
you're doing, be morally sound,you know, have some boundaries,
but like, be confident about thelife that you want to live and
choose that for yourself, beintentional about it and live it
.
You know, and don't listen toall the negativity and hate that
(51:19):
will inevitably be around you,because I think it's just a part
of life Like there's no runningfrom it.
Chrys (51:26):
I agree.
I mean energy is currency,right, like you're, by letting
it consume your energy and yourattention.
Like you're just giving, you'renot taking, you're not
receiving anything from thisinteraction, you're just like
yeah wasting energy.
There's just no point.
Yeah, well, all right.
(51:47):
Well, that got a littlemotivational, slightly
depressive.
Riss (51:58):
I hope people will be making TikToks with our sound
behind it.
Anyway, this stays between us.
Bye.
all right, welcome to another episode of this.
Stays between us.
We're gonna talk about somejust pop culture stuff, what's
going on in the unimportant newssection, but that's fun to know
and fun to talk about yeah, um,did you see that the new Snow
(00:22):
White movie came out?
Chrys (00:24):
Oh, yeah, do you have any interest in going to watch it?
Oh, no, no, this is so funnybecause people are going hard,
for I don't even know how to sayher last name Gal Gadot.
Gal Gadot, yeah.
Anyway, in her interview shepronounces the T, so, like funny
(00:45):
, I can't do it.
Gadot or something I don't know.
Riss (00:48):
I don't know she's like israeli, right?
I don't know how they wouldpronounce it.
Chrys (00:52):
I don't know either.
Um, yeah, I think.
So.
I don't know much about her.
I don't think I've ever seen amovie of hers maybe ever a
superwoman I never watched thatoh yeah I.
What else is she in?
I don't know um there was onethat we started that we didn't
finish.
That was like a spy movie or um, like a secret agent movie, I
(01:20):
think.
But I don't think.
I think we started it and wenever finished.
Riss (01:23):
I can't think of anything else that I've seen her in at
all, anyway, yeah yeah, butpeople say she sucks.
Chrys (01:29):
And I've seen these edits on tiktok.
Have you seen them?
Riss (01:32):
one from the snow white movie is bad like I've seen
people talking about gal gadotsaying she's um, she's like the
hot girl in theater class thatgets like a main role because
she's hot, but she like does notwant to be there.
Chrys (01:48):
Yeah, she's like the daughter of like one of the PTA
moms or something.
Riss (01:54):
Yeah, she just gets stuck.
Which honestly like it's funnybecause with the Superwoman
movie I don't know if it's justbecause, like the role she was
playing was like hot stuff orwhatever, but she was a big deal
back then where like everybodyloved her and thought she was
super hot and she was she was issuperman in the superwoman
(02:17):
movie, or is that no?
after afterwards.
I think they have like um, asuperwoman, like a sort of like
a league, justice league,justice league, that's what it
was.
Yeah, like a reunion sort ofthing, where it's like batman,
superman and superwoman.
I think they have that.
I never watched it, but I'mpretty sure they have a movie
(02:39):
like that, yeah another flop, Ithink.
Chrys (02:42):
Okay, I haven't, I didn't even hear about it, but I saw
like there was a clip that wasgoing around about how much her
acting sucks.
And she's going, she's sayinglike kal-el, no, but it's, I'm
gonna show you because it's sobad.
Riss (02:57):
Um, that's so funny that you're hearing more about gal
gadot.
I'm hearing more about theother girl, uh, rachel, yeah, um
, I don't know her last name butzegler, is that what it is, or
maybe I?
Actually really liked her.
Well, I liked her in um thehunger games, oh, yeah, I did
(03:20):
too.
Chrys (03:21):
She too.
She was really good in that.
Riss (03:21):
She was really good, but she is poor girl, honestly,
she's having kind of a hard timewith the whole Snow White thing
but, honestly, a little bitwarranted.
They kind of ruined the movieand it's such a classic, you
know, and there was so much thatthey could have done, which
(03:42):
maybe falls more on, like likethe director and producers of
the show.
But like snow, again, snowwhite is just a classic and yeah
, there was no reason to do whatthey did to the movie where,
like the dwarfs, they had cgi'dbut then they had somebody, like
a little person, actuallyacting in the movie where it was
(04:03):
like why couldn't you have hadthe dwarfs?
Like why couldn't you havecasted the dwarfs?
Yeah, like with real people youknow.
Chrys (04:11):
It's a good opportunity to employ a lot of people a
hundred percent anyway.
Riss (04:14):
It was just like these like weird, like things in the
movie.
Chrys (04:18):
The whole movie itself was just, yeah, disappointing
yeah, I, I've seen like bits andpieces of it, but it does look
pretty bad like the hair and theoutfit.
It just I don't know.
It doesn't look like a fulllike disney production at all.
It looks like it's.
It looks worse than thecostumes from like disneyland or
disney world, like you wouldthink they would.
(04:40):
I don't know.
It looks like a halloweencostume, I guess, and there's
the number of um yaga doing likethe song or whatever and it's
so bad like she's.
She looks like a little liketheater kid, like it doesn't,
and she's not like the music'snot good she's not really
selling you that.
She's like this queen orwhatever she's like I don't know
(05:03):
.
Riss (05:03):
And yeah, yeah, no, yeah the hair was it looks so bad
yeah it uh, lord and again it'sdisappointing because, like we
all, grew up with snow white,you know like yeah it's a good
story.
It's there, had there was a lotof potential for it to be
something that like a comfortmovie sort of thing, you know.
Chrys (05:25):
But flop the kiss while she's sleeping little
questionable.
I could maybe see them changingthat a little bit.
Yeah, maybe not the socialclimate for that right now, but
like true, but like you have tochange it that much but at least
in snow white's case, like likeshe knew the guy right that she
meets the prince before.
Riss (05:45):
Yeah, Sleeping Beauty is a whole other thing.
Chrys (05:50):
There's a lot of movies where they get kissed when
they're sleeping.
Riss (05:54):
Like at least there's no tongue, but still a little
sketch, yeah, but then I didlike I am kind of with that
whole opinion of like.
Why am kind of with that wholeopinion of like?
Why there's no need to changethe whole narrative of a, of a
yeah, of a story just to fit thelike, the like whatever is a
(06:14):
hot topic today, you know, yeah,their whole thing with making
it more like of a feminist moviewhere they don't need a man to
save.
I know that they did like someinterviews where they're like,
yeah, we don't really like theidea of like having a man come
save us because we're strongwomen and stuff, and yeah, I
(06:37):
think that there's a time and aplace for that kind of
conversation.
But in the context of snowwhite, there's also no issue in
being a woman who wants love too.
Chrys (06:49):
You know, they're not mutually exclusive and everyone
wants love, right, I thinkthat's everyone wants
companionship.
I feel like that's fine and itdoesn't yeah, it doesn't have to
be one or the other, like youcould be a very strong character
and still one companionship and, if anything, it like there's
also a powerful message in beinglike your own person, but then
(07:11):
being able to combine lives withsomeone else.
Um, also like, yeah, you wantto teach that to kids, for sure,
but also like you're puttingway too much weight on like a
little silly story.
Riss (07:23):
You know, that's just supposed to be like hope and
people are nice and all thesedifferent things like yeah
that's like the and like role ofdisney and and then I feel like
doing that whole thing alsodisempowers who's not, who's no
white was because she, eventhough, like, in the end, a man
(07:43):
comes and like wakes her up orwhatever, she does have this um,
important message of standingup for herself and speaking
against a powerful queen and notallowing, like the, the man,
the man who takes her out intothe woods and tries to kill her,
like she manages to escape fromthat and kind of like builds a
(08:05):
life for herself and like I feellike there's, you can work with
that and it's still in therealms of like the actual story,
you can empower the womanwithout having to change
everything you know.
Chrys (08:16):
Yeah and it's also like and I'm not hating on the story,
I'm just like they're overcomplicating it but also like
the story is about like who'sthe fairest of them all, like,
yeah, it's about who's thehottest, and like hot or not,
it's not a ton of, it's not afeminist movie exactly like,
(08:37):
yeah, and it is just a fairytale and it's just a nostalgic
story, right, because, again, weall kind of grew up on it Also.
I think there's also somethingempowering in I don't know,
making the guy do a lot of thework.
(08:58):
Yeah, so I don't have toExactly Not necessarily like I
want to make my own money, allthose other things, but it's
like I'm gonna open my own doorthere's nothing wrong with being
a princess.
Riss (09:13):
I don't like taking out the trash is a boy job in fact
we should be pushing for that domore of the work.
Chrys (09:23):
Men should be picking up their weight, I agree it's like
like I carried two babies fornine months, like I'm not
lifting a finger when we'rebringing home groceries.
Riss (09:35):
A hundred percent like um and and like.
The other thing too is like ifdisney wants to take uh, like if
, if they want to have more oflike a feminist uh position in
society or whatever, then justdon't recreate the movie.
Yeah, don't recreate it.
(09:58):
If you're gonna change thewhole thing, write something new
.
Chrys (10:01):
The funny thing is is that the whole point, like you
would think, is either makemoney or send a powerful message
.
They miss the powerful messagelike train.
They're losing a bunch of moneyon this.
So, yeah, it's like.
What is the reason?
Yeah, yeah, make new stories.
Make stories that are like yeah, like I don't know yeah, and it
(10:25):
was very.
Riss (10:26):
I think it was pretty bad for their career too.
Gal gadot and rachel yeah.
Insert last name, yeah it'sjust sad.
Chrys (10:35):
Yeah, I don't dislike.
I mean, I know that she'sgotten some heat from like
social media stuff.
She's like.
I don't know exactly what itwas, to be honest, I didn't
really read read into it, but Iguess she posted some things
online that were like aggressivetowards one of the political
parties and um towards like someindividuals, and people took
(10:56):
offense to that um, and I thinkI do feel like people are not
investing in PR teams anymore orlike media training right,
because I feel like if you havea big platform, I do feel like
to a certain degree, you do havea responsibility to use it
(11:18):
wisely and try to good, do goodthings and whatnot, um, but you
can do that without attackingpeople, I feel.
And does that ever really changeanyone's mind or like anyone's
position?
I don't think it's veryproductive.
So, I think promoting the goodthings and like um, like things
that you stand for, I'm all forthat.
(11:40):
I think that's good and youshould.
And like why not?
And like people tend to likewant to know your life and what
you think when you're famous,and they want to know whether or
not they want to support youwith their dollars, depending on
who you vote for, or whateveryour ideas, your values.
I feel like that's valid.
But yeah, it sounded like sheagain, I don't know sounded like
(12:03):
she didn't necessarily do itthat way and said some things
that she had to apologize for,and I just saw some um critics
saying how that really hurt themovie too, of like the message
that she was trying to send.
She wasn't able to do itbecause of that um.
So I don't know, I think it wasjust like the perfect storm the
production sucked, the hiringsucked not by the leads
(12:26):
necessarily, I mean maybe one ofthem and then the seven dwarfs
situation.
Like I think it just it was.
Riss (12:34):
Yeah, I was just not very well executed and I do feel bad
for like the heat that she'sgetting I she's probably, from
what I understand, she's gettingpretty heavily bullied.
Yeah, I don't agree with any ofthe stances she's taken.
I don't agree how with how likeshe has gone um, how she has
faced all of it, but I do feelbad for her oh, 100 like that
(12:55):
would be hard to deal with.
Chrys (12:57):
yeah, people, and I mean I don't know the extent of it,
but I'm sure she's gettingbullied and death threats and
all sorts of things- yeah,people take it way too far.
That's never justifiable.
Like it's crazy, like that'sjust yeah, I know I agree with
that.
I feel like that's, and that'shard too, because like that's
(13:18):
her livelihood.
Maybe she made a mistake, maybeshe didn't how she approached
things, but like she's still aperson, she still needs to have
a job, like well, I mean, shecan get another job, probably
not in acting, but oh yeah, butlike if that's all you have
training for.
Like that sucks yeah, yeah,yeah.
Riss (13:40):
No, it does suck and it's important to know, yeah, how to
use the platform you're given,but I think what does suck,
though, is that she took thisstance that feels like it would
have been applauded by societyin the sense of because I feel
(14:02):
like a lot of conversations hadbeen going in that direction of,
like making disney movies moreempowering towards women and all
that stuff.
Like that was a big thing thatpeople were talking about, um,
but then I also think that therewas just some sort of like, um,
people got tired of it, youknow it.
Like, yeah, okay, we don't haveto like women don't have to be
(14:29):
these super empowering, strongwomen all the time.
Like we can want love and wecan want a family, and if one of
us wants to be a stay-at-homemom, like yeah, like, let her be
, you know, like there's nothingwrong with ideas like giving
you more options, not limitingyou one way or the other, or
like increasing expectations onexactly so I think, it got to a
(14:50):
point where there was just alittle bit of exhaustion with
that um narrative and and andthen.
so it was like at a bad time forher to say what she said,
because I think that's likeright when everybody was just
like no, we, we're tired of this, like just let women be women
(15:14):
and let us watch a cute fairytale, like some of us, like
Hallmarks.
Chrys (15:16):
There's nothing wrong with that.
There's got to be a variety ofoptions, right, it doesn't have
to be just one niche or theother.
I don't know.
Yeah, no, I agree other, Idon't know.
Riss (15:29):
Yeah, yeah, no, I agree, um.
You know what is crazy.
This is like real new stuff.
Though did you see that teacher, that um, like a high school
teacher that was dating one ofthe students?
Chrys (15:38):
I think dating is the wrong word, yeah, but the other
one?
Riss (15:44):
is very censored.
So who is?
Yeah, yes, um, involvedunconsensually, non-consensually
with a student?
Chrys (15:55):
yeah, and the one that had um, the notes app or
something.
Yes, which embarrassing.
I.
I didn't even I'm gonna be soreal, I didn't fully read it.
I read the title and it waslike she had a notes app that
said that he cheated on her orsomething.
Riss (16:13):
So I did read it.
Okay, she had.
They were like this is soembarrassing, because I have
definitely done this, like withmen that clarify on which part I
am going to clarify more thanyou need the notes part.
With men of age that I havedated in the past.
(16:35):
I think we all have like yousort of you want to send a text
or whatever.
You kind of like plan it out onthe notes app, oh yeah, or
whatever, talk it through chatgpt first.
Yeah, does this sound crazy?
Um, yeah, so I feel like it's acommon thing.
But like, within this contextof like you're doing this for a
(16:58):
16 year old, like that's just,oh my gosh, so embarrassing and
I mean wrong.
But yeah, one of so one of themessages was kind of like or
sorry, one of the notes on hernotes app was her kind of
writing out I don't know if itwas a message she ended up
(17:20):
sending to him or if it was justher like venting or whatever
but she just like writes out howhe did her wrong and how he
keeps coming back and how, like,um, he's dating this other girl
now but she knows that he wantsher and and that kind of thing.
Where, again, I don't know if,like, it's something she ended
(17:41):
up sending to him or if it wasjust her venting on her like
notes app, yeah, which againembarrassing You're tweaking out
over a 16-year-old.
It's embarrassing enough, likefor me, when that would happen
with boys my age no.
Chrys (18:05):
You know, anyway, uh, anyway, so crazy, and she's the
teacher or the kid's teacher, sothen it's crazy.
Riss (18:11):
but that wasn't it.
There was like two other notesthat that were like sent out in
the media of manifesting him,what you know, like she, she had
it written out Like um I don'tremember her exact words, but
(18:35):
paraphrasing basically like weare going to end up together, I,
um, I'm going to get over, likeI'm going to live my life and
he's going to start thinkingabout me and he's going to want
me and we will always be in eachother's life and he will want
me.
(18:55):
It was like, and I think thenotes was called like
manifestation.
It was like her putting it outinto the universe you know, like
this is going to happen, we'realways going to be involved with
each other and I think theirony is that it kind of
happened like not the way sheprobably wanted, but yeah, they
will be like forever, likethere's always gonna be an
(19:17):
asterisk for her, like that shewas, of the charges he pressed
against her yeah, yeah, oh mygosh, that's just like to me
it's so sad and the commentsthat I've seen on the stuff like
on tiktok and stuff justdiscuss like I, it bothers me so
(19:39):
much because it's like um,there's, there's still like um,
people who will put that on apedestal of like a 16 year old
boy hooking up with this hot 30year old.
You know, it's like some sort ofbadge of honor and these like
(20:02):
comments kind of say that likeoh, this boy is probably getting
high fives from all his friendslike he's probably the coolest
guy right now for being able tohook up with like a hot older
woman.
When it's like he he's, how canyou say that he's like a little
kid, she's a grown, marriedwoman married, married.
(20:24):
That's not the most scandalouspart of all that, but still no,
but it's like it kind of adds toit and yeah, um, yeah, and it's
grooming.
You would not be saying thesame thing if, like, the genders
were reversed right, like ifshe was a man and he was a girl,
like that would you know.
Chrys (20:45):
It's crazy, though it's horrible.
Did you ever watch prettylittle liars?
Uh-huh horrible, I like.
I tried restarting thatrecently because I, when I was
younger, I watched it fully andI was team ezra and aria all the
way.
I was like her parents justdon't understand I was so
(21:08):
against it.
Riss (21:08):
You have no idea.
Chrys (21:10):
I hated it together.
Yes, I always had a bettersense there on that I had such
like from a very young age.
I feel like I had such acompass of like age gaps between
people and it's funny because Ifeel like in Brazil people
don't care, which is really badbut like yeah, and I think that
(21:32):
sometimes I might have been likea little bit overboard about it
but that's better than anythingon the other end of the
spectrum.
Riss (21:39):
I was literally with, like Ezra and Aria.
I was always like rootingagainst them every single time
and I would even try to justifyit in my head like, okay, if he
started college at like a really, really young age and then
maybe he graduated maybe he'slike 20, like, and I don't even
remember like the youngest age Iwas able to pull up was like 21
(22:01):
or something.
I was like, maybe he's 21.
I was like and still it's solike he's 21 and she's 16, like
I can't get behind it.
Chrys (22:11):
I can't that is the right side of history to be on.
I think it's.
Yeah, I mean it's not funny,it's crazy because I mean I
don't even know if I want to getinto this but, I feel like in
Brazil and again it's bad, butit wasn't uncommon for someone
to be like 16 or whatever andallowed to date and then like,
(22:35):
have a guy, like come home froma mission or something and then,
like them, start dating.
Riss (22:39):
It was almost like, oh my gosh, there's this guy coming
back and I was like a 21 yearold come like and it's so bad
and I like didn't even thinkabout that because it was so
like common.
Chrys (22:51):
But yeah, when I watched the show I was like he's hot, I
don't know like that's so fun,he's the teacher like he's in
such a position of yeah power.
I see clips of that now and I'mlike it just makes vomiting.
Riss (23:04):
Oh my gosh.
I just questioned the judgmentof, honestly, well, the adult,
that's who I questioned thejudgment.
Chrys (23:14):
Well, yeah, the most but I mean not that the show is that
important, but how did prettylittle liars hit the tv?
How was that on for like what?
Seven, eight years?
I know like how, how are what?
I and I think I don't know.
I never finished it, but Ithink they end up together.
Riss (23:33):
I yeah, I think.
So.
I think like it's always thisthere's like a part in pretty
little liars where they startthinking that ezra is a there's
like some suggestion, like itsuggests that think.
I kind of remember that Like itsuggests that a little bit and I
was rooting for that so much.
I was like he's disgusting, heis A Like, he is the person, and
I was like finally they're likegoing to make sense of him,
(23:55):
like this whole thing of him,his pedo behavior, but yeah, but
no.
And then he wasn't.
He's still like a good guy orwhatever, and still like a good
guy or whatever.
And I just I hate any kind ofglamorizing about that kind of
thing.
Chrys (24:10):
I just think there's like no place for it.
Yeah, no, I agree it'sinteresting because, like I
would, I never.
I always was against evendating guys my age directly,
guys younger than me, was like adefinite no, I don't care if
it's like 30 days, I was like itwill get away from me.
You're a child, yes, but Idefinitely was always into older
(24:33):
guys and that was not yeah,great, yeah, yeah, which I mean.
Riss (24:40):
Yeah, I don't blame you.
I feel like, as like being theyounger person, it it's hard to
see anything wrong with it, Iguess, because it's just like
yeah, like what do you?
Chrys (24:54):
know I mean obviously, like when you're under age is a
whole different thing, but whenyou're both legal, even still
like I feel like after like 25.
Riss (25:02):
I'm a little less judgment , judgmental of like, yeah, any
kind of age gap, but before 25it's like your frontal, like
lobe, is not developed.
You are still like learning howto live, you know and who you
(25:27):
are and what you aren't and yeah, do you and your boyfriend have
an age gap?
Two years he's older.
Chrys (25:40):
That's fair.
Yeah, I mean that's not bad.
Josh is three years older thanme.
Yeah, does not feel like it.
Riss (25:49):
What does it feel like?
Chrys (25:50):
That he's younger by a few years.
Riss (25:57):
He's great, but sometimes I'm like that's like normal.
That's why we usually dateolder men, older guys.
Chrys (26:03):
Yeah, that's funny.
Riss (26:04):
I like forget a lot of the times, but yeah, two years yeah
, no, and there was one guy Iwent out with one time that was
like 14 years older than me.
Yeah, this was.
I was like 26, I want to say,when I went out with him, we
(26:27):
went out on two dates and Icould not do it.
I was like this is way tooweird, I can't do it, I'm sorry,
um.
Chrys (26:36):
So yeah, that was short-lived but yeah, I'm not
even gonna get on the topic.
But yeah, I mean, I only wenton like one accidental date with
someone that was a lot olderthan me.
Um, it was kind of not fullyintentional, but that sounds so
(26:59):
bad, I know yeah, I think Ithink I was 22, I don't know 23.
Anyway, it was like just reallyawkward.
And the funny thing is, though,is that my friend was like on a
.
She was like dating this guywho was, um, quite a bit older
than her too.
Like they were, the guys werefriends and I don't know exactly
(27:19):
what they but um around there,probably like a lot of years
anyway, but it was funny becausewe were at this bowling place
and there was supposed to belike a group of years anyway,
but it was funny because we wereat this bowling place and there
was supposed to be like a groupof us, but ended up being like
four of us, so it kind of endedup being a date, and there were
these like boys on the lane nextto us looking over, and they
were just like horrified, and Iwas like so am.
Riss (27:45):
He doesn't even have money .
I know what am I doing here.
Chrys (27:50):
I think he did, but that didn't matter.
Yeah, I mean, I'll be real, Ithought about it, but I just
couldn't do it.
Riss (27:58):
Yeah, no, that's tough, and I mean to each their own.
You know, I feel like there area lot of relationships that
work out that are like there's abig age gap, but again like if
you're old enough to make thatkind of decision, that like
that's something you want, thatthere's nothing wrong with that,
but when it's when you're youngand it just when it smells like
(28:21):
somebody's taking advantage ofyou, like that.
I just can't get behind it.
Chrys (28:25):
You and I feel like and this is maybe true, for this is
definitely true for everyrelationship, but I think it
also depends on, like powerdynamics and things and like if
you're going to be financiallydependent on someone like that?
I probably wouldn't befinancially dependent on anybody
ever.
But yeah, just I don't know.
I think that can influence howsuccessful the relationship can
be.
Yeah, um, but yeah, I don'tknow tough stuff yeah um.
Riss (28:56):
On another note though, did you see the chapel roan
interview with I did on she'sher daddy, or she's her?
Chrys (29:08):
that's a good name.
She's her own daddy.
Riss (29:11):
Maybe we should use that name.
Call her daddy yeah, I did.
Chrys (29:17):
I I didn't watch the full interview.
I saw clips that everyone wasfreaking out about um.
Do you have opinions, thoughts,feelings?
Riss (29:24):
yeah, I, I remember I listened to that podcast.
I feel like this, this episode,I am like just like venting so
much my frustrations with somany things.
But, um, I I listened to thatpodcast even before I saw any
(29:46):
sort of comment on it, okay, andso I kind of had formed an
opinion even before I saw whatpeople were saying about it,
okay, and I remember justthinking like the stuff that she
said I was like hot take.
And by the end of it I was likeI like Chapel Roan's music.
I really like, I'll be honest,I don't listen to too much new
(30:12):
music at all, which is characterflaw.
I kind of wish I like kept upwith new music.
I have like my same songs Ilisten to all the time.
Anyway, in the same way, but thesongs I have heard from her
like they're really good, likethere's a I feel like she's
actually famous for her talent,like she's very good.
Um, and I know a lot of peoplethat are huge fans of her.
(30:35):
You know like listen to herstuff, know a lot about her.
Um, I listened to thisinterview and I remember just by
the end of it I was like like,like I'm not her biggest fan,
like I just don't, didn't agreewith a lot of the stuff that she
said and was put off by a lotof it too.
Yeah, um, but didn't think toomuch of it.
Like it was one of those thingsthat I was just like.
(30:56):
She makes good music.
Probably wouldn't be her friendin real life, you know.
Chrys (31:00):
Like yeah she gives off like try to be an influencer for
a day, kind of vibe, like shehates her life yeah, no, very
negative, very negative and verylike it's cool to be negative
kind of energy.
You know which I'm not here for,like I don't like that kind of
and like I don't know how hardthe music industry is and like
(31:23):
whole like hollywood people.
I know there's a like reallydark side to all of it, but I
mean she's talented, she's likeliving her dream right, she has
money, she has a lot ofprivilege, so it's kind of
interesting to like have such anegative energy.
I I haven't seen too much ofher either.
I've listened to some of hersongs.
I like her songs.
Um, I don't keep up too muchwith like the new things she's
(31:45):
coming out with.
I don't know if she's come outwith anything, but I have seen
like some stuff of hers onTikTok before of her coming out
and saying like stop asking mewho I'm voting for and what
political stance I have, orwhatever.
Riss (31:59):
Which I honestly that kind of thing I respect because it's
like I do too.
Chrys (32:03):
I mean I think there's two sides to it Right.
I do too.
I mean I think there's twosides to it right.
I think we should not belooking to celebrities or
influencers or whatever to tellus who to vote for or which
opinions to have.
I agree with that.
I don't think that's she's.
I don't know she doesn't havethe level of education or
whatever it is, to make thosetypes of claims.
(32:23):
But I do understand the factwhere, like, people want to know
what she stands for before theylike, support her.
Like, I feel like that's theopinion that a lot of people
have.
Like, if we don't have the samevalues or whatever, I don't
want to contribute to your famewith my dollars or whatever.
Riss (32:44):
I can understand that.
Chrys (32:46):
But at the same time, like she doesn't give
conservative.
So I feel like you can assumewho she votes for or what her
opinions are.
Um, I do I don't know how muchwe want to just dive into it but
I I do think that, like a lotof people and again she's very
negative no, her biggest fan.
(33:08):
She has like her own takes.
I have some opinions on thattoo, but I did think it was like
too much that, like a lot oflike conservative people were
coming out being like I lovemotherhood, how dare you say
this about me?
Or whatever.
It's like you don't support her, right?
She clearly doesn't have thesame opinions you do.
(33:29):
Let's just keep scrolling likeyou know, I think it's one of
those where, like the people whofollow her and support her and
whatever, if maybe they have anissue, whatever, that's
different, but like, if youdon't support her, you don't
agree with her life choices, youdon't whatever.
Like then why does what she saylike?
(33:50):
What she says shouldn't matter,right?
To you because you don't agreewith her like yeah, and how old
is?
Riss (33:54):
she?
I have no idea.
I honestly thought she wasolder, but then I thought she
was young.
I thought she was like 20 but Ithink she's like 30.
No, I think I was wrong abouther being like.
I thought she was older andthen, after this whole thing, I
think I was wrong about herbeing like I thought she was
older and then, after this wholething, I think she can't be
like more than 18.
Chrys (34:14):
I don't know, I I don't think that's right.
I think she's is she if she'sold.
Riss (34:18):
I would be very surprised if she's older than us?
Chrys (34:22):
I have no idea 27.
Riss (34:26):
Oh, that to me is very surprising.
She definitely gives off anenergy of being very young and
that's honestly the biggestbenefit of the doubt that I gave
her, which has been removed.
No, but I thought, like in myhead I was like she's just like
a young girl and like doesn'thave like tons of exposure to
(34:50):
life yet or whatever.
I don't know, not that I mean,yeah, how much exposure do I
have?
But like, um, it was just, itwas with her platform and her
position.
It was a pretty bold thing forher to be saying about
motherhood and yeah, I.
Chrys (35:07):
I didn't watch the full thing again, but it sounded like
she said like parents.
She didn't know any parents.
It didn't sound like shespecified mothers, but maybe she
did.
I don't know she did so.
Riss (35:16):
She was, she was, her thing was, um.
She was talking about herfriends and how most of her
friends have, um, become mothersand are kind of living more of
this traditional life.
And she's out here like makingmusic and hollywood and all this
stuff and she's just like Idon't know anybody who has kids
(35:41):
that like still has like lightin their eyes basically, yeah,
they they're just all miserableyeah, I feel like that's harsh.
Chrys (35:50):
Well, I think also like I was, I guess when I saw parts
of it, I was thinking like Iwonder what the friends think
about that.
Yeah, I, just because it's likemotherhood is hard.
It is like it's like the mostbeautiful, exhausting, terrible
thing you'll ever do.
Like it's all the things right.
(36:11):
Yeah, you have good days, youhave bad days.
It's hard.
Riss (36:13):
Yeah, and to be honest, like nothing that's rewarding,
doesn't come with like that partof being hard with it you know,
100% Like, and you're doingsomething new and like you, I
don't know.
I guess there's a whole likelittle human that depends on you
.
Chrys (36:30):
Like it is hard, yeah yeah.
And like and it's, it's tough,cause like some people will only
fear monger you abouteverything.
It's like just wait, just wait,just wait, it gets worse, just
wait, it gets worse all the time.
It's exhausting Cause like evenwhen you're trying to be
positive, sometimes like otherpeople are like about it, but
then there's other people thatjust glorify it and say it's so
(36:50):
easy and it's so whatever, andit's it's not right.
Like I think it has two sidesand I feel like also I don't
know her friend's situations,but like maternity leave is not
a thing, like paid maternityleave.
For most places daycare pricesare insanely expensive.
Most people can't afford toonly live on one income.
(37:11):
Like yeah, it is hard outsideof just the motherhood part too.
It's like the finances andtrying to figure all that out
logistically yeah difficult.
Being pregnant can suck.
I, some people have a totaleasy time.
Total easy time.
I hated being pregnant.
Be so real like I loved havinga little baby.
It was fun or whatever it'slike.
No, he was there and littlekicks and there were like little
(37:34):
milestones that we reached andthat was really exciting, but
like I was puking the whole time.
That's tough.
Like has good and bad sides toit.
You bring the human into theworld and you love it so much or
sometimes it takes a little bitto bond, but like you do love
it and you want to take care ofhim or her.
And but then, like your bodychanges and you're in pain and
you might have like chronicpains that come from like having
(37:55):
carried children and like andthen they but they like, they
grow and they learn differentthings and it's so exciting and
you're teaching them and you'reseeing how they're picking up on
things.
But then they might like throwfits because they don't want to
eat and it's hard to feed themand it's like they might need a
nap and they don't want to godown and they're freaking out
(38:15):
Like it's beautiful, it's thebest thing I've done, but it's
the hardest thing I've done.
Riss (38:20):
Yeah, like, and it can be both things.
Yeah, both can be true.
Yeah, talking about like thatwhole idea of how, how hard it
is to be a mom in in the senseof like, like the noise around
being a mother because it'sthere is so much of like being
(38:45):
on extremes, where people arelike you can't say it's hard
without people being like, oh mygosh, you should be like you're
a horrible mom because you'resaying it's hard.
And then there's the other sidewhere, like, you're super
positive about it.
And then there's people thatare like you're not being honest
, like you got to be honestabout motherhood or whatever.
Yeah, 100%, and it's just like,creates so much more difficulty.
(39:07):
And I think you're right tooabout imagine being her.
I just can't imagine like beingone of her friends and hearing
that interview and just beinglike that's the last time I come
like vent to you about like,yeah, like how hard things are.
Chrys (39:23):
You know they might be having a hard day, they might be
having a hard like, like goingthrough a tough phase, like I'm.
For everyone it's different.
For me, like, the verybeginning was harder, harder
because I like you're notsleeping and you're like I was
trying to figure outbreastfeeding and all these
different things.
So like, for a period it wasn'tjust like a day that it was
hard, it was like several days,months or whatever for a period
(39:45):
there that like were difficult.
But it doesn't mean like youhate your kid or you hate your
decision maybe you do, andthat's a whole other thing like
and that could definitely be athing, but like that's very like
small yeah, yeah, I think mostof the time.
Like you love your kid, you madea decision to bring him to the
world.
You're trying to take care ofit and like.
But it's just hard sometimesand like and it's so okay to be
(40:09):
hard.
You know, yeah, and I think yeah, I feel like a lot of the times
they'll say like, just wait,just wait, it gets worse.
We should be saying wait itgets better Because, like, the
thing that's hard right now,that's making it difficult right
now, that part is going to geteasier.
Sure, you're going to haveother things that are going to
be hard at different points ofyour life, but like, oh, my
alarm.
But, like the sleeping thing,they end up sleeping through the
(40:32):
night, like you're going tosleep again.
You're going to feel likeyourself again.
Your body's going to heal, likeyou're after you're pregnant,
like you're not, hopefullyyou're going to be sick anymore.
Like things get better and likemaybe your kid will go through a
phase where, like, they don'twant to eat and they're
difficult to feed, phase where,like they don't want to eat and
they're difficult to feed.
That's going to go away andit's going to get easier.
You're going to have anotherchallenge, but like the thing
(40:53):
that you're struggling withright now is temporary and it's
always going to be um.
So I like, I like that ideamore of like it gets better.
But I do think you should beable to have conversations and
it's a tough balance, right, buthave conversations without
scaring people.
Like certain things like I likeI don't know, I guess it's it's
just a hard balance to even getinto it.
(41:13):
But like there are certainthings that happened through
pregnancy, giving birth, havinglittle kids that I didn't know
about and I like read books onit, I talked to people about it,
um, that I wish I had been moreprepared for.
But then there were a lot ofthings that people fear mongered
me on, a lot that I that endedup not being a problem that I
(41:35):
spent so much time worryingabout you know, so it just um,
it's just kind of tough.
You just kind of have to blockout the noise and make the
decision for yourself.
Riss (41:45):
I think, yeah, and it's so hard to like, um, I don't know.
Know how somebody else isexperiencing anything but
especially motherhood.
Chrys (42:00):
You know, parenthood, parenting um, pregnancy and all
that stuff I agree, and I dothink it's unfair, I guess in
defense of our friends, but Ithink it's unfair to go out and
say stuff like that about yourfriends because, like as a
friend, I would have been upset,like if I like vented to you
that I'm going through a toughtime or whatever, and you're
kind of saying that like I'velost something, maybe I can't
(42:24):
get back, or something that likeit's not going to get better
whatever it is, and also likeyou're kind of implying that I
hate my life, I hate my kid,like it's just not great.
Um, I do think, I don't know, Iguess we can go a few different
directions on this.
But like I, I don't know, I shehas her opinions.
I guess she can say whatevershe wants.
It doesn't change my life,whatever she says.
(42:52):
There are tough moments, thereare great moments, whatever, I
think.
I just I think it was kind of alot like there were a lot of
people like trying toovercompensate like in responses
because they're like what ifpeople don't want to have kids
anymore?
Riss (42:58):
and it's like not anybody that wanted to have kids, is
still gonna have kids yeah, Iwould hope that one person's
comment doesn't change and iftheir opinions changed on what
chapeleroan said or anyone saidthen.
Chrys (43:11):
Maybe they were never meant to be a baron.
Riss (43:13):
They never really wanted it and and yeah, I'm like I
completely agree, like if shedoesn't want to have kids, like
all power to her, you know yeah,like you shouldn't like if you
don't want to.
Chrys (43:25):
That's not something you should.
Riss (43:26):
It's not something you have to do but, I, I do think it
kind of sucks when people justkind of like shit on other
people's decisions lifedecisions because they don't
agree with them agree with themor don't want.
Chrys (43:41):
I mean, I'm sure she has had people do that to her, and
so I doubt that feels, good,yeah, and it's probably not.
I'm not saying it justifiesthat at all.
I'm just saying like if you'veexperienced that, you think that
you would do it less becauseyou know that people want to do
their own things.
Riss (43:57):
Yeah, but yeah, you do bring up a good point that she
probably comes from.
She does come from a culture, Iguess I can't say that for sure
.
Like I'm assuming she comesfrom a place that, um, like more
traditional, that people getmarried and have kids and that's
kind of like the thing youshould do and she probably has
(44:20):
had like a to build a narrativearound it to because she's doing
life different, you know.
So she probably feels Iwouldn't, I wouldn't be
surprised, I guess is what I'msaying if she feels very
defensive about the decisionsshe's made, to the point of
having to say something likethat, you know to be fair, the
people that criticize her areprobably conservative.
Chrys (44:42):
Yeah, so, like she probably is like intentionally
or unintentionally attacking agroup that she feels like has
attacked her, or something likeyeah, yeah, and let's just stop
attacking each other.
Let's just let people makedecisions for their lives and,
you know, roll with it.
Yeah, no, I agree, I do thinkit's interesting too.
(45:03):
I, I think I reposted it.
I saw this girl sayingsomething about it and she was
saying kind of what you weresaying like um, women just get
criticized so much, let's justleave women alone, which is so
true.
I feel like their expectationsare like insane, because it's
like if you work and your mom,it's like you should stop
(45:25):
working.
You're being selfish.
And then, if you don't work andyou're home with your kid, it's
like you don't have an identityand you don't, yeah and you're
home with your kid.
Riss (45:31):
it's like you don't have an identity and you don't have a
life.
Chrys (45:32):
Yeah, like you're not financially contributing or
whatever it is, and then it's sohard and so confusing and like
I've chosen to essentially doboth things.
I guess that's where I findfulfillment but that's not where
everyone does, like you know.
But yeah, I find it just kindof interesting and it's also
(45:55):
kind of crazy, because I mean, Igrew up hearing like you're not
supposed to work, like maybeget an education in case, like
your husband dies one day, butlike your job is to stay at home
and like yeah don't go dreamingtoo big.
Yeah, and I think that's wrong.
Yeah, I feel like you shouldmake decisions for yourself and
like having kids is a choice andit's not like your only calling
(46:18):
in life and exactly.
But if you do want to have them, it you make the decision that
you want to have them and youunderstand the commitment that
you're making.
You absolutely should, and I've, I've loved it, I love being a
mom and I also like working andthat's worked for me and I've
done both and I like it.
But I hear criticism all thetime of like you shouldn't,
(46:41):
you'd be selfish or whatever itis, and it's like I don't care.
Yeah, I do what works for meand you should do what works for
you and that's the end as youshould.
Riss (46:52):
I feel like, um, no matter what you do, you're gonna have
haters, like you don't even needa social media account, like
you'll.
You'll have haters in real life, you know.
So you just gotta do what, whatfeels right for you and what
makes sense for you, and um, andlive a good life for yourself.
(47:15):
You know, and, and, and learnhow to kind of turn down the
volume of the noise around you.
I agree, and I think, which isreally hard to do, it is like I
have a really hard time withcriticism I'll be the first to
say it so, but it is somethingthat I definitely want to be
(47:36):
better at, especially as a woman, because a lot of the time it
feels like, no matter what youdo, you're doing something wrong
100%.
Chrys (47:45):
Yeah, no, I agree, I think I don't know.
Maybe this is not the bestapproach, I don't know, but
what's helped me is kind of justtry to see where people are
coming from.
Not that that justifies thembeing a jerk or rude or whatever
, but like I don't know, justthinking about it, like I think
a lot of people have madedecisions for their lives based
(48:05):
off of what other people wantedthem to do, and so they become
defensive of those decisions andthem being rude or whatever.
Trying to pressure them to do,and so they become defensive of
those decisions and them beingrude or whatever.
Trying to pressure you to dosomething is just them trying to
justify their own lives yeah soit's none of my business yeah,
their problem, yeah, yeah, it'snone of my business.
Riss (48:26):
None of my business.
What you think of my businessit is not.
Chrys (48:30):
It's like I don't want to know.
Yeah, and if you tell me likethat's cool, I'm just gonna be
like okay, and I'm just gonnakeep rolling and at the end of
the day, like everyone is soworried about themselves that,
like they don't, it's gonnasound bad.
They don't truly care.
They don't care like you livewith your decisions, no one else
(48:51):
does.
Like they might give you anopinion in the moment or for a
period of time, but they'regonna forget and move on like no
one cares that much yeah, yeah,you shouldn't let somebody's
side eye affect you too much itain't gonna pay my bills, so I
don't care well, becausehonestly, also, at the end of
(49:13):
the day, like they disagree withyour decisions, you probably
disagree with theirs too, and Ifeel like you should.
Riss (49:18):
Just a lot of like that helps me sometimes is just
remembering.
That is like if, if somethingis affecting me too much, it's
like, well, I disagree with them, you know and how they're
approaching it.
So I mean, try to be asrespectful as you can.
Chrys (49:40):
Right, keep it to yourself, but like yeah, yeah,
yeah, I agree, yeah, honestly,it's just I don't know.
The mindset now is like it'snone of my business, yeah, it's,
it's not my problem.
Yeah, and and yeah, youshouldn't take advice from
anyone that doesn't have thelife that you want or have the
(50:02):
things that you want.
Like, yeah, I'm not takingadvice or opinions from
chaperone or whoever aboutmotherhood, when, like, she's
not a mom.
Like, yeah and it doesn't.
Like it doesn't.
Yeah, it's not if she had somecrazy good tip on how to get my
son to eat anything other thansandwiches, I would take it.
Or if she was willing to sendme a large sum of money to have
(50:25):
an opinion in my life, I mightlet her.
But outside of that I'm not mybusiness.
Riss (50:34):
I love it.
Um well, yeah, I think that,summing up, I feel like this
whole thing, this whole episode,has been a lot about just like,
like and I feel like it'smostly directed towards women,
but even for men just like and Ifeel like it's mostly directed
towards women, but even for menjust like be confident in what
(50:54):
you're doing, be morally sound,you know, have some boundaries,
but like, be confident about thelife that you want to live and
choose that for yourself, beintentional about it and live it
.
You know, and don't listen toall the negativity and hate that
(51:19):
will inevitably be around you,because I think it's just a part
of life Like there's no runningfrom it.
Chrys (51:26):
I agree.
I mean energy is currency,right, like you're, by letting
it consume your energy and yourattention.
Like you're just giving, you'renot taking, you're not
receiving anything from thisinteraction, you're just like
yeah wasting energy.
There's just no point.
Yeah, well, all right.
(51:47):
Well, that got a littlemotivational, slightly
depressive.
Riss (51:58):
I hope people will be making TikToks with our sound
behind it.
Anyway, this stays between us.
Bye.
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