April 2, 2025 • 35 mins
Welcome back to another brutally honest, hilarious, and slightly unhinged episode of This Stays Between Us! Today we’re diving into the viral TikTok trend that has us howling — people roasting their exes using brand slogans. Think: Gucci, because he wanted everyone's coochie. Yup, it's that kind of day.
But wait — it gets more personal.
We also spiral into all the things we learned way too late in life: how to use a curling iron without third-degree burns, why fabric softener isn’t laundry detergent, what car registration actually is (surprise! it’s yearly!), and the ongoing lesson that... people kind of suck sometimes (especially in hit-and-run situations).
From hilarious ex jokes to real-life oopsie moments, we reflect on how underprepared we were for adulthood — and how we’re surviving anyway. This is the episode you didn’t know you needed. It’s chaotic. It’s nostalgic. And it’s exactly what your group chat sounds like on a Tuesday night.
Highlights & Viral Brand Burns:
- Gucci: Because he wanted everyone’s coochie
- Hello Kitty: Because he said hello to every kitty
- Crumbl: Because he had a new one every week
- IKEA: Came in pieces and expected me to put him back together
- Lulu: Because I was D-Lulu
- ChatGPT: Confidently lying about things it doesn’t understand (just like your ex)
Key Takeaways:
- TikTok Trends Are Therapy: Humor really is healing. Roasting exes with brand slogans? 10/10 recommend.
- We Were Not Prepared for Adulthood: From gas station fails to car registration horror stories, we talk about the basic life skills we learned way too late.
- Don’t Trust a Guy Who Doesn’t Know Salt: One of us had to teach our man about seasoning food… in 2025. Send help.
- Some Lessons Hurt (Literally): Curling iron burns, fabric softener laundry cycles, and door-dashed band-aids — adulthood is painful and expensive.
- Trust = Broken: What happens when someone crashes into your car, gives you a fake number, and disappears? Oh, we’ve got stories.
Relatable Quotes You’ll Love:
“Netflix… because I shared him with five other girls and I was the only one paying.”
“Dollar General, because he didn’t have a dollar. In general.”
“I put diesel in a gas car because green means go — it made sense in my head!”
“I thought fabric softener was detergent… for like a year. And yes, I smelled great.”
“He discovered salt in 2025. SALT. Like, the basic human seasoning.”
You’ll love this episode if you:
- Are addicted to TikTok trends and petty ex drama
- Were also thrown into adulthood without a user manual
- Still call your mom for help with insurance… and laundry
- Want to laugh at our trauma and share your own in the DMs
- Believe exes deserve to be dragged in brand form 💅
SEO Keywords:
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Join the Inner Circle:
This episode of This Stays Between Us is your permission slip to laugh at your past self, drag your ex (gently), and bond over all the weird ways we learned how to be adults. Subscribe, leave us a review if you’ve ever used fabric softener as detergent, and send us your favorite brand roasts on tiktok @therealtsbu
We’ll be back next week with mor
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right.
So there's this new trend onTikTok to trash your ex using a
brand, and I was dying laughingat these because they're so good
.
I love it.
I just I love seeing howcreative people can get with
(00:22):
that kind of thing.
It makes me like wish I wasthat creative.
It's like man.
If I had made that comment, I'djust be a cooler person.
Some get with that kind ofthing.
It makes me like wish I wasthat creative.
It's like man.
If I had made that comment, I'djust be a cooler person.
Some of these are kind of dirty,so I don't know if we need to
make this explicit or something.
But Warning Gucci, because hewanted everyone's coochie.
It's like that's the only one.
(00:50):
Dollar General general, becausehe didn't have a dollar in
general.
Great hello kitty, because hesaid hello to every kitty.
Oh, tommy, he'll figure,because he he'll figure out a
way to lie about anything.
I thought that was going to goin a different direction.
(01:13):
Ross, because I settled forless.
That's the good one.
Netflix, because I shared himwith five other girls and I'm
the only one paying A littledark humor.
Make-a a wish because I wasdoing charity work.
That's funny.
Um, taco Bell good at 3 am butregretted it later.
(01:37):
Dual lingo, because I neverlearned my lesson.
I'm like you're telling methese, I'm like trying so hard
to think of one.
I'm like you're telling methese and I'm trying so hard to
think of one and I'm like Ican't do it.
I can't even think of, like Ineed to chat to PJ.
I can't even think of, like thelogos with the brands.
(01:58):
It's because we're bad withnames.
It applies to this Excel,because he's now an ex and also
in a cell um in and out, becausethat's as long as he lasted.
(02:21):
Um, um, um.
Arby's, because he's got themeats, but that's too nice.
I know it's so bad.
I can only think of good ones.
Skittles, because he wanted totaste the rainbow.
Oh, that took you a second.
They have some better ones, butthey got clogged with some bad
(02:47):
ones in here.
Target, because he never hitthe spot.
H&m, because he was interestedin her and me.
Wow, we got a lot of cheatingmen out there.
I know it's reallydisappointing.
(03:07):
It was sad crumble, because hehad a new one every week.
Hold on, there were some betterones.
I can't think of any brandsright now.
Hydro jug it's gonna go in adirty direction.
I know why is that?
The only brand that came tomind Lulu, because I was D Lulu,
(03:31):
oh, that's a good one.
Starbucks, because he never gotmy name right.
That's sad.
That's sad.
Sam's Club, because he wasalways sampling.
That's a good one, sam's Club,because he was always sampling.
That's a good one.
Um Vine, because he only lastedseven seconds.
Oh, my gosh.
(03:56):
Victoria's Secret, because hissecret was Victoria.
Oh, have you heard that song,the the song?
Oh, yeah, it's a good one.
It's a good one by thatTikToker, uh-huh, yeah, yeah,
that was a good one.
(04:16):
Ikea came in pieces and expectedme to put them back together.
Oh, been there, mr Clean.
He was bald, straight to thepoint.
Love it.
Yeah.
Capital One, because he alwaysasked what's in your wallet.
Fedex, because I'm fed up withhim.
(04:43):
Classic, there were some otherones that were funnier.
Fedex, because I'm fed up withthem.
Interesting, classic, therewere some other ones that were
funnier.
I'm trying to find them.
There's like 87,000 comments inhere.
Now.
Google, I should have keptsearching.
Ooh, you have one.
(05:06):
I think it's gonna be stupid.
That's fine, you'll laughanyway.
Um chad gpt, overly confidentabout everything.
No, that was bad.
Erase it.
No, that was bad.
Erase it, delete, delete.
(05:29):
I can do better.
It's gotta be something abouthow chat gpt can't, like doesn't
have reliable resources.
Yeah, that's what I was tryingto go for.
Like you can't ask him aboutbooks, you can't know, like make
stuff up, and but we'll be likeoverly confident about what
it's saying.
Yeah, and isn't that every man,confident, confidently,
lighting a face?
(05:49):
Give me like two days and I'llcome back with a good one.
I saw this a couple days ago andI still don't have good ones,
but, yeah, I love that.
Also, this thing keeps comingoff my bandaid.
What happened?
I don't want to say it.
(06:09):
Okay, do you want to see it?
It's gross.
What?
Yeah, I was about to ask againyou burned yourself with a
curling iron.
I did.
Are you a doctor?
I'm just an investigativejournalist.
I'm so stupid.
(06:32):
I was doing my hair and I wastrying to curl it back here and
I almost got my finger, but Iwas like I dropped it and hit my
full arm instead.
Not proud, hey, but nothing onthe finger.
(06:52):
You avoided the finger.
I mean, that would have beenbetter big thing on my arm.
I also didn't have anyband-aids.
Um, I had these like hydro gels.
That worked pretty good, butthey don't stick nicely.
So I cut a sock and I put it onmy arms to hold it in place at
night, and then I didn't havetime to go out.
So I door dashed some a big boxof band-aids.
It only came with two big onesand this is one of them.
(07:14):
You think the door dasher tookthe rest he might have.
Somehow he knew I needed thebig ones and he just left the
two in there.
You didn't tip him enough.
I'm trying to make this stickso I don't have to open the
second one.
I could bring you someband-aids, it's okay.
(07:40):
I feel like it sounds likeyou're really struggling.
Last week it was your forehead,this week it's your arm.
I feel like it sounds likeyou're really struggling.
Last week it was your forehead,this week it's your arm.
It's been really bad.
I've been on the streak ofhurting myself and it's not good
.
I need to stop.
I did get a like I normally usea hair straightener to curl my
hair.
I was going to say that's whatI remember us growing up you
would always use the hairstraightener, but mine broke, oh
(08:03):
, and somebody gifted me acurling iron at some point, so
that's what I started using, butI don't have the skills, and we
see why you stick to astraightener.
Yeah, hey, there's a learningcurve.
It's really steep.
It's not that steep.
Some of us just struggle alittle bit.
(08:27):
I know, it's just.
I'm just too tired when I'mdoing my hair in the morning and
I just, you know, yeah, itlooks great, though, thanks.
Yeah, cost me an arm and a leg?
Not yet, not yet, but maybe intwo weeks.
Stay tuned for next week.
(08:48):
So, um, speaking of trends ontiktok, um, did you want to talk
about, um, things that welearned too late in life?
That's another one that's goingaround.
Yeah, we should talk about that.
What are some things that tookyou too long to figure out for
(09:09):
me, how to use a curly art stillnot there yet.
Still haven't figured it out.
Maybe 2025 is the end of theyear, I don't know.
We can only hope by the end ofthe year you're gonna have the
best curled hair, likeeverybody's moved on to heatless
curls, and you're gonna be likeI just got this down.
I have bandages all over my body.
(09:32):
I have to wear a hazmat suitwhenever I'm doing it.
You know how.
There's like gloves that youcan wear so you don't burn your
hands.
Yeah, I was gonna say you'rejust like decked out, it's like
a onesie.
That's what I need.
If anyone's looking for abusiness idea like you, have a
customer we will sponsor.
(10:00):
Well, one thing I learned waytoo late in life is how to put
gas in my car.
Well, one thing I learned waytoo late in life is how to put
gas in my car.
Yeah, you know why?
That is because in Brazil one,you can't get your license until
you're 18.
Two, you're not allowed to pumpyour own gas there.
Yeah, so interesting.
Honestly, let's bring it toAmerica.
I think it's a thing in Jerseytoo.
(10:21):
It's a thing in Oregon as well.
Maybe we need to move.
Yeah, that's the problem.
We're just living in the wrongstate.
And why not add that that'screating jobs?
Exactly what the heck?
I don't have to do it.
I definitely wouldn't do itwrong.
You do have to tip, not all thetime, what we are out of money
(10:44):
for tipping.
It's gotten too extreme.
They'll have their little ipad.
This is just gonna ask a fewquestions.
Um, just speed away with thepump still attached?
Um, yeah, no.
So when I came to the us, I wasI remember this?
(11:04):
It was with your Jeep, right?
Yeah, yeah, my little 2006 Jeepthat I thought was it was cute,
it was a vibe.
Yeah, she was a vibe for a veryshort while.
But yeah, first car syndrome.
That's the problem.
I was like 19, I think, and youwould think a 19-year-old knows
(11:25):
how to fill her own car up, butwe were not taught life skills.
So I feel like this is good,this is our parents' fault.
Let's talk about our childhoodtraumas.
That's 100%.
I learned nothing.
I didn't know about carregistration, almost got my car
(11:48):
impounded.
Maybe that's part of the list.
I didn't know untilregistration.
Yeah, um, yeah, so I, when Iwent to fill it up, I I thought
I did great right.
And then I'm driving home and mycar's acting like kind of weird
.
I get home and I tell mybrother I'm like, hey, my car is
(12:13):
acting really weird.
I don't know what's going onwith it, and he starts
diagnosing.
Right, he's like what's goingon with the car?
And I'm explaining that she'snot running as smoothly, you
know, she's kind of joltingshe's, she's struggling, she
struggles uphill.
Maybe it's a cardio thing, whoknows?
I get it.
I've been there, sis.
(12:35):
I get it.
Um, and he's like.
And then he starts looking atme like I'm like I've done
something wrong and I'm likeI've done nothing wrong.
Yeah, it can't possibly be myfault.
Yeah, she's new, I just filledher up.
What more could she want?
And he says, okay, uh, when youfilled her up, what guess did
(13:01):
you put?
You're like the pretty one, thegood one.
I said there was a green buttonand there was a black and I
picked the green button Becausegreen means go.
I get you.
That makes sense.
That's what you said when Ifirst told this story.
Really, I don't remember that.
At least I'm consistent.
(13:23):
Some things just don't change.
It's been playing in replay onyour mind ever since.
I just love it.
You don't it to me and I justthought it was so good.
(13:43):
You're like I'm gonna put thatone in my back pocket.
It applies to so many things.
Anyway, yes, green, did we goin that scenario?
And diesel went in my gas jeepand um, yeah, yeah, she was.
She was trying to throw that upand we were struggling and I
(14:04):
felt really bad because she wasso new.
Um, but my brother bless hisheart, he, he siphoned it out
for me and I remember we werejust poor college students so we
didn't like buy anything like agood siphoning like tool I
don't know what those are orsomething.
Yeah, well, he stuck it up,maybe I remember like a hose.
(14:28):
There was buckets.
Yes, I remember exactly whatwent down because we didn't have
to do it.
Well, that's the funny thing,he sat out there like all
Saturday with like just this,like little hose from the gas
tank into a bucket, waiting.
It's like drops, you know, likeone drop at a time and I'm just
like hey, just like walkingpast him.
(14:50):
Hope it's going well.
The best part that is that caris driving past.
Probably we're calling the copson him thinking he was just
stealing it, doing good deed.
They're just like there's ourneighbor again doing something
illegal.
Yeah, I, I still crack up whenI think about how he was just
(15:13):
sitting there.
He was so kind.
I mean, he bullied me a lot forit and I guess I'm using the
word bully very loosely, sinceit was entirely my fault and I
deserved it, but he was very.
Stop you.
You're entitled to kindness,yeah, and understanding.
Thank you, you're welcome.
That's what I needed all theseyears, I feel you.
(15:34):
That's what I needed all theseyears, I feel you.
It was so self-deprecating, Ideserved it.
But yeah, he's just likesitting on like a camping chair
right next to the car literallyall day.
And I didn't, I didn'tcontribute anything Like I
didn't even bring him a snack, Iwas.
(15:56):
I just went about my day andwould call him every now and
then like hey, how's it going?
I'm like using his car.
Just kidding, I don't think Idid that, but you know, if we
understand, yeah, that's sofunny.
Good, brother.
Yeah, yeah, it was all downhillafter that.
(16:18):
I'm just kidding, he's stillgreat.
Uh, wait, was this chi or thatwas chi?
Yeah, and then he recentlysewed your finger.
Yeah, I guess we're even now.
No, yeah, actually, I don'tthink I even have a scar anymore
on my hand.
Nope, yeah, there, it is Veryfaint.
(16:41):
There you go.
Yep, that's good.
Yeah, anything else you learnedtoo late in life?
There's the almost getting mycar impounded thing too.
There's the almost getting mycar impounded thing too.
I was with my friends.
There was a bahama bucks thathad just opened up in our
(17:02):
college town, so we were drivingover.
I had my pt cruiser love it.
Yeah, the funeral car, thefuneral car, that's so bad.
I'm driving it and then there'sa cop behind me all of a sudden
and I'm like, okay, so I'm liketerrified, I park and he comes
over and he's like when was thelast time you registered your
car?
And I was like I bought it liketwo years ago, I think.
(17:25):
And he's like, okay, and whenwas the last time you registered
?
And I'm like, sir, what doesthat mean?
You don't understand, I don'tget it.
Please break it down.
I'm like trying so hard, like Iwant to be helpful.
(17:45):
I'm like trying to answer, it'sstill no, like I'm I definitely
paid to get it registered whenI bought, because that makes
sense, right, right, if youregister when you get it like
kind it got, because that makessense, right, right, you
register when you get it likekind of like everything at once
to register to get.
Do you get like a new birthcertificate for your child every
every year?
Right, it makes no sense.
No, it doesn't make it.
Car registration makes zerosense.
(18:07):
Yeah, at all.
And any, yeah, in any capacity.
Like why are we paying so manytimes to own a car?
Yes, like, I'm already payingevery month.
I know, it's like I haven'teven paid the first amount off
yet.
You're charging me more money,yeah, and it's usually like a
crappy car that keeps breakingdown.
It's like I have to pay to fixit, anyway.
(18:28):
So I just told him like, andhe's like you have to register
every year, and he's like youhave to register it every year.
Do you have any papers aboutregistration in your car?
I'm like I don't know, maybe inthe glass compartment let's
find this out together.
So I open it and I'm like oh,yeah, I do see it For like two
years ago.
And he's like yeah, so you needto do that.
(18:53):
He was probably like how dumb.
The best part about it is thathe was like she's not lying, she
doesn't know, she doesn't knowanything.
Oh, it's so funny because I'msure, like you speak fluent
english, he has no idea.
Like you're not from here, youdon't know, you know.
But to be fair, I also don'tknow how it works in brazil
(19:17):
either.
But like over there, somebodywill figure it out for us.
Over there, people kill peopleand they go to jail for like two
years.
So we have bigger problems.
Not registering your car islike, but they will come after
you for it, but like years later, once it's accumulated enough,
(19:39):
yeah, bills, yeah, anyway.
So he was like we could impoundyour car right now and I'm like
I don't know what that wordmeans.
Okay, wait, break that one downfor like two years.
But like, I have not.
Like, officer, do you come witha pamphlet?
Do you have a dictionary?
Because you're saying words Idon't understand.
(20:00):
Can you give me your personalphone number so we can text?
I need some advice on someother things.
I will have follow-up questions.
I'm gonna let you go today, butas long as you promise me
you're gonna register in thenext couple days, go to his
website.
He did give me a paper, I'mpretty sure, or like.
He wrote it down like please,take a course.
Yeah, it was so sad, but I meanit's fine, it ended up okay.
(20:24):
But yeah too, I was like 18 or19 and I was like, yeah, I don't
know, that's, that's a good one.
So dumb, so dumb.
I have a really good thing.
I learned too late in life, butthis wasn't me.
This was my boyfriend.
I love him.
It's bad.
(20:44):
Okay, this he learned like afew months ago.
So I've been present for thistransition of his.
He recently discovered salt.
Okay, here's the context.
(21:05):
So concerned, here's thecontext I'm so concerned.
Here's the context.
His mother's British.
Does that explain things?
Well, you know how like theydon't season their food in
England, they like don't addsalt.
It's like very.
But he grew up here, yes, yes,okay.
(21:29):
So it's only like half of anexcuse, but he was always like,
so, like, so confused why, likehe would go to restaurants and
the food would be great and thenhe'd try to cook at home and
he's like it just like nevertastes the same.
Did you ever look up like arecipe on anything?
That's a good question.
I did not ask that, I was.
(21:51):
I was just too entertained.
He just like raw doggingchicken, just like.
I hope not rephrase give uslike two minutes.
(22:28):
That was hilarious, but I don'tknow where I was going with
that, because otherwise that'shilarious, that's even funnier.
You're like why?
Why are you changing thesubject?
Bring it back to the salt, yeah, but is he just throwing
(22:50):
chicken or whatever?
I'm still crying.
Chicken or whatever.
I'm still crying.
Yeah, that's sad.
I used too much salt.
I have the opposite problem, Ithink.
Yeah, that's a brazilian thing,because josh judges me all the
time, because I feel like foodalways needs a little bit more.
Yeah, yeah, I think we mighthave a the opposite problem.
(23:11):
I know my mom always like oversalts thing, things, um.
But yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow necessarily how this
discovery process has gone forhim, but he, he's just so cute,
he gets so excited when he seessalt.
Now he's like, oh, he puts iton his spoon.
I'm like it's just, it's thesimple things.
You know, that's so sad, it'slike it's it's like very
(23:42):
balanced out to how sad and howcute it is.
You know, it's like it's like alittle kid discovering
something very basic for thefirst time ever.
My brother-in-law is a uxdesigner, so he does like user
interface of different apps andthings for people and he's fully
colorblind, interesting.
(24:04):
So I don't know, I'm I probablybully him for this, which is
not good, but it's funny becauselike there's different, like
apps and things that show youlike they alter the colors so
the colorblind person can seethe colors better, mm-hmm.
Anyway, we were talking to himabout it and it's fascinating.
He's like, oh, that's what thatis, and I'm like you do user
experience.
(24:24):
I know that's like half of yourjob Graphic design.
Yeah, like, how does anythinglook ever?
How do you manage?
Yeah, it's like, oh, that's sofunny, interesting choice.
How do you think there's underwraps?
Anyway, he just shows up tolike a work interview with those
.
Like glasses, you know that youcan see Colors Seeing the world
(24:46):
for the first time.
Yeah, that's very funny.
That's crazy.
That's a good one.
Yeah, I'm trying to think ofother ones.
I mean, um, my husband had onetoo of this is sadder sadder
than the salt.
Well, yeah, I mean, I wasactually kind of mad at him for
(25:08):
this.
It involves cars.
But he was at walmart and hewas pulling out and somebody hit
him and so, anyway, him tellingme the story was like like
someone drove into his car Idon't fully know, it's still on
the car, but I think eithersomeone was backing out too and
didn't see him and just kind ofdid it too fast or hit him.
I'm not sure they just hit likethe back right or something.
(25:31):
That was my stomach.
We definitely ate.
I'm so sorry I said hi Anyway.
So he's telling me that the guyhit him and then they got out of
the car and exchanged likecontact information, but they
both agreed to not get insuranceinvolved and he went home.
And so he's telling me this andI'm like, who's going to pay
(25:54):
for this.
He hit you and like gettinginsurance involved guarantees
that someone's going to pay foryour car to get fixed.
So I'm like text him.
Well, I was like did he giveyou a fake number?
And he's like no, he gave meright there in the moment.
Whatever.
I texted him, I'm like, okay,text him and say hey, um, we're
(26:18):
gonna need to get the car fixed.
So like, how do we want to goabout this?
And the guy was like I thoughtwe agreed that we weren't like
no one's gonna pay for anything.
What?
Because in his head, you'realways supposed to get insurance
.
This is for everyone.
Insurance involves becausethat's your guarantee.
Otherwise, people like get allthings because, okay, I will say
I have been on the other sideof this, yeah, where I hit
(26:38):
somebody's car and I was likelet's not get insurance involved
because I didn't want mypremium to go up.
Yeah, but I offered them themoney, like to fix, because it
was like a very minor fix, yeah,and so I was just like I'll
just pay for it.
That's different.
If they pay it front, that'sgood.
If they just give you theirphone number, I feel like it's
way harder to track.
(26:58):
At least, like you should getlike a picture of their id or
something.
Yeah, otherwise you need someguarantee anything, right?
Anyway, that guy was just likehe just got off.
I mean, I grabbed the phoneafter that and I sent a very
threatening message.
It was like I don't want to getthe police involved, but if we
need to, we will.
He blocked us and then I didn'thave enough information to go
(27:21):
to the police and so I'm likeokay, I guess that's the end of
that.
Wow, wow, what a jerk.
I mean, I just knew it's likeif he didn't offer you any real
information, like he's totallygonna just anyway, all you, all
you guys had was his phonenumber.
I bet you could still dosomething with that.
No, according to the police, Itried.
I called a non-emergency lineand asked him.
(27:42):
They're like do you know?
Like his car make model,whatever information from his id
.
I'm like no, they're like sorry, but like yeah, they're not
going to waste their time withthat.
The FBI is not available tothem, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, the FBI is busywith other things.
I don't know why I couldn'treach them.
(28:02):
No one's more important than me.
They put me on a beat-up carthat's gotten a little bit more
beat up.
He like crashes in the back.
You're like, yeah, the frontneeds fixing too.
That's he like crashes in theback?
You're like, yeah, the frontneeds fixing too.
That's that would actually.
That's actually veryfrustrating.
Like the thing that he learnedlate in life is that you can't
trust people.
You know that's a lesson thatwe keep on learning.
(28:28):
I saw this video the other dayon tiktok and this girl was like
you read an article.
She's like, uh, fool me once,shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on you,fool me three times.
Shame on you, because why wouldyou keep doing this?
You know I'm gonna keep lettingyou back.
Yeah, I love it.
I've seen it so many times thatit's like, um, I'll give you,
(28:53):
I'll give you one chance, andthen I'll give you one chance,
and then I'll give you anotherchance and then I'll probably
give you a third.
But after the 77th chance,that's where I draw the line.
That's what the Lord said inthe scriptures.
Wow, I really did pick thescripture number.
I just kind of threw one outthere.
I think that's what it is right.
(29:15):
70 times 7, yeah, which is not77, but close 49?
.
We are women in STEM.
Yes, we are.
We are proud of it Trying tothink of other things that I
learned later.
I mean, oh, I have one.
This is gross I love.
(29:40):
So I'm embarrassed to admit thatI never did my laundry growing
up.
Been there, okay.
So I would just throw mylaundry in the hamper and it
would show up done, yeah, yeah,the angels did it.
That's just a magic hamper.
And I lived with my sister.
(30:01):
Um well, I grew up in Brazil.
My sister was in the US.
I came to live with her for alittle bit, you know, and
obviously, while I'm living withher, like I was responsible for
my laundry and I think my firstproblem was not asking
questions.
I was like how do I do this?
I think I was embarrassed to belike I don't know.
You know Me with gas, exactly.
(30:24):
We're just go-getters, we'rejust self-starters, we don't
like relying on other people.
We're independent, independentwomen, anyway.
So she had this blue bottle inthe laundry room and I'm like,
cool, so I would wash my clothes, get the thing in the blue
bottle in a little cup, put itin close it, wash it dry.
(30:46):
It smelled okay, like after,like it smelled good, kept doing
the same thing, that's all yougotta do.
So the blue bottle was the onewith the teddy bear.
That, apparently, is um, fabricsoftener.
The titty bear, teddy bear,teddy bear.
I probably, anyway, I was usingfabric softener and not for like
(31:15):
a year.
Well, hey, if it worked, yousmelled good, like my clothes.
This is so bad, but some of myclothes have these stains and
I'm like I can't get them off.
I've washed them, and so Idonated some clothes and threw
some of those away that weren'tbeing washed.
(31:36):
That was my problem.
But they were extra soft.
They were, and they still lookgood.
Yeah, that's all that matters.
I don't know, I don't know howit's attested.
It's like those people whodon't shower.
They just like spray perfume.
You know that's.
Yeah, I probably had areputation, a European shower I
didn't even know about At myhigh school.
They're like where's that chickagain?
(31:57):
She looks dirty.
She looks like blue stains onher clothes.
She looks dirty, but she smellsclean, probably.
Yeah, I'm telling you we werenot trained for life.
No, we weren't.
And they, just like our parents, just like sent us out into the
(32:22):
world with like clipped wings,like we haven't grown these.
I don't know how to use them.
I've never known any freedom atall.
Everything has always been donefor me.
That sounded horrible.
I know I was like, oh, thatsounds really like privileged.
But no, I mean, yeah, I mean Iwill say that there was no like
(32:45):
independence, even with justlike going out and being away
from your parents.
You know, yeah, I feel like Ileft home like a very like
scared person.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, and maybe that's also gotsomething to do with my like
true crime consumption at ayoung age no, unrelated, but my
(33:06):
mom was always like everyone'strying to murder me all the time
.
You gotta watch out that, watchout.
That guy was weird.
That guy was weird.
I know If a man looks at you,he wants you.
I know that was like and that'slike here people are allowed to
just have guns and psychune you.
No, not tissue.
Why don't you tissue everybodyLike I don't know how to defend
(33:33):
myself.
Scary, yeah, crazy, yeah, crazy, yeah.
But look at us now surviving 25percent more grown up than 10
years ago, maybe on a good day.
I often feel like my collegeyears were almost like high
(33:55):
school years for me, where I wasjust like learning how to be a
person.
Yeah, because I mean there werealso like we were not allowed
to hang out with people thatweren't from church.
Really, there was nobody ourage, it was just the two of us,
I know.
And what are we teaching eachother?
We don't know anything.
We were making stuff up'm justdelivering pinterest quotes and
(34:22):
I am running with those quoteslike it's none of my business.
Yes, slay-cist, eat, pray, love.
I can excuse every single thingyou do, ever.
We're just each other's lawyers.
(34:42):
We're not like helping eachother, maybe.
No, just stay calm and carry on, just like trying to think of
it.
Live, love, love.
Yeah, live love, love, live,love, love.
I said you pray love.
Huh, that's a book.
It's good lessons all around.
I haven't read it, but I'veheard good things.
(35:03):
Oh well, that's hilarious.
That concludes another episode.
Yes, all right, see you nexttime.
All right.
So there's this new trend onTikTok to trash your ex using a
brand, and I was dying laughingat these because they're so good
.
I love it.
I just I love seeing howcreative people can get with
(00:22):
that kind of thing.
It makes me like wish I wasthat creative.
It's like man.
If I had made that comment, I'djust be a cooler person.
Some get with that kind ofthing.
It makes me like wish I wasthat creative.
It's like man.
If I had made that comment, I'djust be a cooler person.
Some of these are kind of dirty,so I don't know if we need to
make this explicit or something.
But Warning Gucci, because hewanted everyone's coochie.
It's like that's the only one.
(00:50):
Dollar General general, becausehe didn't have a dollar in
general.
Great hello kitty, because hesaid hello to every kitty.
Oh, tommy, he'll figure,because he he'll figure out a
way to lie about anything.
I thought that was going to goin a different direction.
(01:13):
Ross, because I settled forless.
That's the good one.
Netflix, because I shared himwith five other girls and I'm
the only one paying A littledark humor.
Make-a a wish because I wasdoing charity work.
That's funny.
Um, taco Bell good at 3 am butregretted it later.
(01:37):
Dual lingo, because I neverlearned my lesson.
I'm like you're telling methese, I'm like trying so hard
to think of one.
I'm like you're telling methese and I'm trying so hard to
think of one and I'm like Ican't do it.
I can't even think of, like Ineed to chat to PJ.
I can't even think of, like thelogos with the brands.
(01:58):
It's because we're bad withnames.
It applies to this Excel,because he's now an ex and also
in a cell um in and out, becausethat's as long as he lasted.
(02:21):
Um, um, um.
Arby's, because he's got themeats, but that's too nice.
I know it's so bad.
I can only think of good ones.
Skittles, because he wanted totaste the rainbow.
Oh, that took you a second.
They have some better ones, butthey got clogged with some bad
(02:47):
ones in here.
Target, because he never hitthe spot.
H&m, because he was interestedin her and me.
Wow, we got a lot of cheatingmen out there.
I know it's reallydisappointing.
(03:07):
It was sad crumble, because hehad a new one every week.
Hold on, there were some betterones.
I can't think of any brandsright now.
Hydro jug it's gonna go in adirty direction.
I know why is that?
The only brand that came tomind Lulu, because I was D Lulu,
(03:31):
oh, that's a good one.
Starbucks, because he never gotmy name right.
That's sad.
That's sad.
Sam's Club, because he wasalways sampling.
That's a good one, sam's Club,because he was always sampling.
That's a good one.
Um Vine, because he only lastedseven seconds.
Oh, my gosh.
(03:56):
Victoria's Secret, because hissecret was Victoria.
Oh, have you heard that song,the the song?
Oh, yeah, it's a good one.
It's a good one by thatTikToker, uh-huh, yeah, yeah,
that was a good one.
(04:16):
Ikea came in pieces and expectedme to put them back together.
Oh, been there, mr Clean.
He was bald, straight to thepoint.
Love it.
Yeah.
Capital One, because he alwaysasked what's in your wallet.
Fedex, because I'm fed up withhim.
(04:43):
Classic, there were some otherones that were funnier.
Fedex, because I'm fed up withthem.
Interesting, classic, therewere some other ones that were
funnier.
I'm trying to find them.
There's like 87,000 comments inhere.
Now.
Google, I should have keptsearching.
Ooh, you have one.
(05:06):
I think it's gonna be stupid.
That's fine, you'll laughanyway.
Um chad gpt, overly confidentabout everything.
No, that was bad.
Erase it.
No, that was bad.
Erase it, delete, delete.
(05:29):
I can do better.
It's gotta be something abouthow chat gpt can't, like doesn't
have reliable resources.
Yeah, that's what I was tryingto go for.
Like you can't ask him aboutbooks, you can't know, like make
stuff up, and but we'll be likeoverly confident about what
it's saying.
Yeah, and isn't that every man,confident, confidently,
lighting a face?
(05:49):
Give me like two days and I'llcome back with a good one.
I saw this a couple days ago andI still don't have good ones,
but, yeah, I love that.
Also, this thing keeps comingoff my bandaid.
What happened?
I don't want to say it.
(06:09):
Okay, do you want to see it?
It's gross.
What?
Yeah, I was about to ask againyou burned yourself with a
curling iron.
I did.
Are you a doctor?
I'm just an investigativejournalist.
I'm so stupid.
(06:32):
I was doing my hair and I wastrying to curl it back here and
I almost got my finger, but Iwas like I dropped it and hit my
full arm instead.
Not proud, hey, but nothing onthe finger.
(06:52):
You avoided the finger.
I mean, that would have beenbetter big thing on my arm.
I also didn't have anyband-aids.
Um, I had these like hydro gels.
That worked pretty good, butthey don't stick nicely.
So I cut a sock and I put it onmy arms to hold it in place at
night, and then I didn't havetime to go out.
So I door dashed some a big boxof band-aids.
It only came with two big onesand this is one of them.
(07:14):
You think the door dasher tookthe rest he might have.
Somehow he knew I needed thebig ones and he just left the
two in there.
You didn't tip him enough.
I'm trying to make this stickso I don't have to open the
second one.
I could bring you someband-aids, it's okay.
(07:40):
I feel like it sounds likeyou're really struggling.
Last week it was your forehead,this week it's your arm.
I feel like it sounds likeyou're really struggling.
Last week it was your forehead,this week it's your arm.
It's been really bad.
I've been on the streak ofhurting myself and it's not good
.
I need to stop.
I did get a like I normally usea hair straightener to curl my
hair.
I was going to say that's whatI remember us growing up you
would always use the hairstraightener, but mine broke, oh
(08:03):
, and somebody gifted me acurling iron at some point, so
that's what I started using, butI don't have the skills, and we
see why you stick to astraightener.
Yeah, hey, there's a learningcurve.
It's really steep.
It's not that steep.
Some of us just struggle alittle bit.
(08:27):
I know, it's just.
I'm just too tired when I'mdoing my hair in the morning and
I just, you know, yeah, itlooks great, though, thanks.
Yeah, cost me an arm and a leg?
Not yet, not yet, but maybe intwo weeks.
Stay tuned for next week.
(08:48):
So, um, speaking of trends ontiktok, um, did you want to talk
about, um, things that welearned too late in life?
That's another one that's goingaround.
Yeah, we should talk about that.
What are some things that tookyou too long to figure out for
(09:09):
me, how to use a curly art stillnot there yet.
Still haven't figured it out.
Maybe 2025 is the end of theyear, I don't know.
We can only hope by the end ofthe year you're gonna have the
best curled hair, likeeverybody's moved on to heatless
curls, and you're gonna be likeI just got this down.
I have bandages all over my body.
(09:32):
I have to wear a hazmat suitwhenever I'm doing it.
You know how.
There's like gloves that youcan wear so you don't burn your
hands.
Yeah, I was gonna say you'rejust like decked out, it's like
a onesie.
That's what I need.
If anyone's looking for abusiness idea like you, have a
customer we will sponsor.
(10:00):
Well, one thing I learned waytoo late in life is how to put
gas in my car.
Well, one thing I learned waytoo late in life is how to put
gas in my car.
Yeah, you know why?
That is because in Brazil one,you can't get your license until
you're 18.
Two, you're not allowed to pumpyour own gas there.
Yeah, so interesting.
Honestly, let's bring it toAmerica.
I think it's a thing in Jerseytoo.
(10:21):
It's a thing in Oregon as well.
Maybe we need to move.
Yeah, that's the problem.
We're just living in the wrongstate.
And why not add that that'screating jobs?
Exactly what the heck?
I don't have to do it.
I definitely wouldn't do itwrong.
You do have to tip, not all thetime, what we are out of money
(10:44):
for tipping.
It's gotten too extreme.
They'll have their little ipad.
This is just gonna ask a fewquestions.
Um, just speed away with thepump still attached?
Um, yeah, no.
So when I came to the us, I wasI remember this?
(11:04):
It was with your Jeep, right?
Yeah, yeah, my little 2006 Jeepthat I thought was it was cute,
it was a vibe.
Yeah, she was a vibe for a veryshort while.
But yeah, first car syndrome.
That's the problem.
I was like 19, I think, and youwould think a 19-year-old knows
(11:25):
how to fill her own car up, butwe were not taught life skills.
So I feel like this is good,this is our parents' fault.
Let's talk about our childhoodtraumas.
That's 100%.
I learned nothing.
I didn't know about carregistration, almost got my car
(11:48):
impounded.
Maybe that's part of the list.
I didn't know untilregistration.
Yeah, um, yeah, so I, when Iwent to fill it up, I I thought
I did great right.
And then I'm driving home and mycar's acting like kind of weird
.
I get home and I tell mybrother I'm like, hey, my car is
(12:13):
acting really weird.
I don't know what's going onwith it, and he starts
diagnosing.
Right, he's like what's goingon with the car?
And I'm explaining that she'snot running as smoothly, you
know, she's kind of joltingshe's, she's struggling, she
struggles uphill.
Maybe it's a cardio thing, whoknows?
I get it.
I've been there, sis.
(12:35):
I get it.
Um, and he's like.
And then he starts looking atme like I'm like I've done
something wrong and I'm likeI've done nothing wrong.
Yeah, it can't possibly be myfault.
Yeah, she's new, I just filledher up.
What more could she want?
And he says, okay, uh, when youfilled her up, what guess did
(13:01):
you put?
You're like the pretty one, thegood one.
I said there was a green buttonand there was a black and I
picked the green button Becausegreen means go.
I get you.
That makes sense.
That's what you said when Ifirst told this story.
Really, I don't remember that.
At least I'm consistent.
(13:23):
Some things just don't change.
It's been playing in replay onyour mind ever since.
I just love it.
You don't it to me and I justthought it was so good.
(13:43):
You're like I'm gonna put thatone in my back pocket.
It applies to so many things.
Anyway, yes, green, did we goin that scenario?
And diesel went in my gas jeepand um, yeah, yeah, she was.
She was trying to throw that upand we were struggling and I
(14:04):
felt really bad because she wasso new.
Um, but my brother bless hisheart, he, he siphoned it out
for me and I remember we werejust poor college students so we
didn't like buy anything like agood siphoning like tool I
don't know what those are orsomething.
Yeah, well, he stuck it up,maybe I remember like a hose.
(14:28):
There was buckets.
Yes, I remember exactly whatwent down because we didn't have
to do it.
Well, that's the funny thing,he sat out there like all
Saturday with like just this,like little hose from the gas
tank into a bucket, waiting.
It's like drops, you know, likeone drop at a time and I'm just
like hey, just like walkingpast him.
(14:50):
Hope it's going well.
The best part that is that caris driving past.
Probably we're calling the copson him thinking he was just
stealing it, doing good deed.
They're just like there's ourneighbor again doing something
illegal.
Yeah, I, I still crack up whenI think about how he was just
(15:13):
sitting there.
He was so kind.
I mean, he bullied me a lot forit and I guess I'm using the
word bully very loosely, sinceit was entirely my fault and I
deserved it, but he was very.
Stop you.
You're entitled to kindness,yeah, and understanding.
Thank you, you're welcome.
That's what I needed all theseyears, I feel you.
(15:34):
That's what I needed all theseyears, I feel you.
It was so self-deprecating, Ideserved it.
But yeah, he's just likesitting on like a camping chair
right next to the car literallyall day.
And I didn't, I didn'tcontribute anything Like I
didn't even bring him a snack, Iwas.
(15:56):
I just went about my day andwould call him every now and
then like hey, how's it going?
I'm like using his car.
Just kidding, I don't think Idid that, but you know, if we
understand, yeah, that's sofunny.
Good, brother.
Yeah, yeah, it was all downhillafter that.
(16:18):
I'm just kidding, he's stillgreat.
Uh, wait, was this chi or thatwas chi?
Yeah, and then he recentlysewed your finger.
Yeah, I guess we're even now.
No, yeah, actually, I don'tthink I even have a scar anymore
on my hand.
Nope, yeah, there, it is Veryfaint.
(16:41):
There you go.
Yep, that's good.
Yeah, anything else you learnedtoo late in life?
There's the almost getting mycar impounded thing too.
There's the almost getting mycar impounded thing too.
I was with my friends.
There was a bahama bucks thathad just opened up in our
(17:02):
college town, so we were drivingover.
I had my pt cruiser love it.
Yeah, the funeral car, thefuneral car, that's so bad.
I'm driving it and then there'sa cop behind me all of a sudden
and I'm like, okay, so I'm liketerrified, I park and he comes
over and he's like when was thelast time you registered your
car?
And I was like I bought it liketwo years ago, I think.
(17:25):
And he's like, okay, and whenwas the last time you registered
?
And I'm like, sir, what doesthat mean?
You don't understand, I don'tget it.
Please break it down.
I'm like trying so hard, like Iwant to be helpful.
(17:45):
I'm like trying to answer, it'sstill no, like I'm I definitely
paid to get it registered whenI bought, because that makes
sense, right, right, if youregister when you get it like
kind it got, because that makessense, right, right, you
register when you get it likekind of like everything at once
to register to get.
Do you get like a new birthcertificate for your child every
every year?
Right, it makes no sense.
No, it doesn't make it.
Car registration makes zerosense.
(18:07):
Yeah, at all.
And any, yeah, in any capacity.
Like why are we paying so manytimes to own a car?
Yes, like, I'm already payingevery month.
I know, it's like I haven'teven paid the first amount off
yet.
You're charging me more money,yeah, and it's usually like a
crappy car that keeps breakingdown.
It's like I have to pay to fixit, anyway.
(18:28):
So I just told him like, andhe's like you have to register
every year, and he's like youhave to register it every year.
Do you have any papers aboutregistration in your car?
I'm like I don't know, maybe inthe glass compartment let's
find this out together.
So I open it and I'm like oh,yeah, I do see it For like two
years ago.
And he's like yeah, so you needto do that.
(18:53):
He was probably like how dumb.
The best part about it is thathe was like she's not lying, she
doesn't know, she doesn't knowanything.
Oh, it's so funny because I'msure, like you speak fluent
english, he has no idea.
Like you're not from here, youdon't know, you know.
But to be fair, I also don'tknow how it works in brazil
(19:17):
either.
But like over there, somebodywill figure it out for us.
Over there, people kill peopleand they go to jail for like two
years.
So we have bigger problems.
Not registering your car islike, but they will come after
you for it, but like years later, once it's accumulated enough,
(19:39):
yeah, bills, yeah, anyway.
So he was like we could impoundyour car right now and I'm like
I don't know what that wordmeans.
Okay, wait, break that one downfor like two years.
But like, I have not.
Like, officer, do you come witha pamphlet?
Do you have a dictionary?
Because you're saying words Idon't understand.
(20:00):
Can you give me your personalphone number so we can text?
I need some advice on someother things.
I will have follow-up questions.
I'm gonna let you go today, butas long as you promise me
you're gonna register in thenext couple days, go to his
website.
He did give me a paper, I'mpretty sure, or like.
He wrote it down like please,take a course.
Yeah, it was so sad, but I meanit's fine, it ended up okay.
(20:24):
But yeah too, I was like 18 or19 and I was like, yeah, I don't
know, that's, that's a good one.
So dumb, so dumb.
I have a really good thing.
I learned too late in life, butthis wasn't me.
This was my boyfriend.
I love him.
It's bad.
(20:44):
Okay, this he learned like afew months ago.
So I've been present for thistransition of his.
He recently discovered salt.
Okay, here's the context.
(21:05):
So concerned, here's thecontext I'm so concerned.
Here's the context.
His mother's British.
Does that explain things?
Well, you know how like theydon't season their food in
England, they like don't addsalt.
It's like very.
But he grew up here, yes, yes,okay.
(21:29):
So it's only like half of anexcuse, but he was always like,
so, like, so confused why, likehe would go to restaurants and
the food would be great and thenhe'd try to cook at home and
he's like it just like nevertastes the same.
Did you ever look up like arecipe on anything?
That's a good question.
I did not ask that, I was.
(21:51):
I was just too entertained.
He just like raw doggingchicken, just like.
I hope not rephrase give uslike two minutes.
(22:28):
That was hilarious, but I don'tknow where I was going with
that, because otherwise that'shilarious, that's even funnier.
You're like why?
Why are you changing thesubject?
Bring it back to the salt, yeah, but is he just throwing
(22:50):
chicken or whatever?
I'm still crying.
Chicken or whatever.
I'm still crying.
Yeah, that's sad.
I used too much salt.
I have the opposite problem, Ithink.
Yeah, that's a brazilian thing,because josh judges me all the
time, because I feel like foodalways needs a little bit more.
Yeah, yeah, I think we mighthave a the opposite problem.
(23:11):
I know my mom always like oversalts thing, things, um.
But yeah, I don't know, I don'tknow necessarily how this
discovery process has gone forhim, but he, he's just so cute,
he gets so excited when he seessalt.
Now he's like, oh, he puts iton his spoon.
I'm like it's just, it's thesimple things.
You know, that's so sad, it'slike it's it's like very
(23:42):
balanced out to how sad and howcute it is.
You know, it's like it's like alittle kid discovering
something very basic for thefirst time ever.
My brother-in-law is a uxdesigner, so he does like user
interface of different apps andthings for people and he's fully
colorblind, interesting.
(24:04):
So I don't know, I'm I probablybully him for this, which is
not good, but it's funny becauselike there's different, like
apps and things that show youlike they alter the colors so
the colorblind person can seethe colors better, mm-hmm.
Anyway, we were talking to himabout it and it's fascinating.
He's like, oh, that's what thatis, and I'm like you do user
experience.
(24:24):
I know that's like half of yourjob Graphic design.
Yeah, like, how does anythinglook ever?
How do you manage?
Yeah, it's like, oh, that's sofunny, interesting choice.
How do you think there's underwraps?
Anyway, he just shows up tolike a work interview with those
.
Like glasses, you know that youcan see Colors Seeing the world
(24:46):
for the first time.
Yeah, that's very funny.
That's crazy.
That's a good one.
Yeah, I'm trying to think ofother ones.
I mean, um, my husband had onetoo of this is sadder sadder
than the salt.
Well, yeah, I mean, I wasactually kind of mad at him for
(25:08):
this.
It involves cars.
But he was at walmart and hewas pulling out and somebody hit
him and so, anyway, him tellingme the story was like like
someone drove into his car Idon't fully know, it's still on
the car, but I think eithersomeone was backing out too and
didn't see him and just kind ofdid it too fast or hit him.
I'm not sure they just hit likethe back right or something.
(25:31):
That was my stomach.
We definitely ate.
I'm so sorry I said hi Anyway.
So he's telling me that the guyhit him and then they got out of
the car and exchanged likecontact information, but they
both agreed to not get insuranceinvolved and he went home.
And so he's telling me this andI'm like, who's going to pay
(25:54):
for this.
He hit you and like gettinginsurance involved guarantees
that someone's going to pay foryour car to get fixed.
So I'm like text him.
Well, I was like did he giveyou a fake number?
And he's like no, he gave meright there in the moment.
Whatever.
I texted him, I'm like, okay,text him and say hey, um, we're
(26:18):
gonna need to get the car fixed.
So like, how do we want to goabout this?
And the guy was like I thoughtwe agreed that we weren't like
no one's gonna pay for anything.
What?
Because in his head, you'realways supposed to get insurance
.
This is for everyone.
Insurance involves becausethat's your guarantee.
Otherwise, people like get allthings because, okay, I will say
I have been on the other sideof this, yeah, where I hit
(26:38):
somebody's car and I was likelet's not get insurance involved
because I didn't want mypremium to go up.
Yeah, but I offered them themoney, like to fix, because it
was like a very minor fix, yeah,and so I was just like I'll
just pay for it.
That's different.
If they pay it front, that'sgood.
If they just give you theirphone number, I feel like it's
way harder to track.
(26:58):
At least, like you should getlike a picture of their id or
something.
Yeah, otherwise you need someguarantee anything, right?
Anyway, that guy was just likehe just got off.
I mean, I grabbed the phoneafter that and I sent a very
threatening message.
It was like I don't want to getthe police involved, but if we
need to, we will.
He blocked us and then I didn'thave enough information to go
(27:21):
to the police and so I'm likeokay, I guess that's the end of
that.
Wow, wow, what a jerk.
I mean, I just knew it's likeif he didn't offer you any real
information, like he's totallygonna just anyway, all you, all
you guys had was his phonenumber.
I bet you could still dosomething with that.
No, according to the police, Itried.
I called a non-emergency lineand asked him.
(27:42):
They're like do you know?
Like his car make model,whatever information from his id
.
I'm like no, they're like sorry, but like yeah, they're not
going to waste their time withthat.
The FBI is not available tothem, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, the FBI is busywith other things.
I don't know why I couldn'treach them.
(28:02):
No one's more important than me.
They put me on a beat-up carthat's gotten a little bit more
beat up.
He like crashes in the back.
You're like, yeah, the frontneeds fixing too.
That's he like crashes in theback?
You're like, yeah, the frontneeds fixing too.
That's that would actually.
That's actually veryfrustrating.
Like the thing that he learnedlate in life is that you can't
trust people.
You know that's a lesson thatwe keep on learning.
(28:28):
I saw this video the other dayon tiktok and this girl was like
you read an article.
She's like, uh, fool me once,shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on you,fool me three times.
Shame on you, because why wouldyou keep doing this?
You know I'm gonna keep lettingyou back.
Yeah, I love it.
I've seen it so many times thatit's like, um, I'll give you,
(28:53):
I'll give you one chance, andthen I'll give you one chance,
and then I'll give you anotherchance and then I'll probably
give you a third.
But after the 77th chance,that's where I draw the line.
That's what the Lord said inthe scriptures.
Wow, I really did pick thescripture number.
I just kind of threw one outthere.
I think that's what it is right.
(29:15):
70 times 7, yeah, which is not77, but close 49?
.
We are women in STEM.
Yes, we are.
We are proud of it Trying tothink of other things that I
learned later.
I mean, oh, I have one.
This is gross I love.
(29:40):
So I'm embarrassed to admit thatI never did my laundry growing
up.
Been there, okay.
So I would just throw mylaundry in the hamper and it
would show up done, yeah, yeah,the angels did it.
That's just a magic hamper.
And I lived with my sister.
(30:01):
Um well, I grew up in Brazil.
My sister was in the US.
I came to live with her for alittle bit, you know, and
obviously, while I'm living withher, like I was responsible for
my laundry and I think my firstproblem was not asking
questions.
I was like how do I do this?
I think I was embarrassed to belike I don't know.
You know Me with gas, exactly.
(30:24):
We're just go-getters, we'rejust self-starters, we don't
like relying on other people.
We're independent, independentwomen, anyway.
So she had this blue bottle inthe laundry room and I'm like,
cool, so I would wash my clothes, get the thing in the blue
bottle in a little cup, put itin close it, wash it dry.
(30:46):
It smelled okay, like after,like it smelled good, kept doing
the same thing, that's all yougotta do.
So the blue bottle was the onewith the teddy bear.
That, apparently, is um, fabricsoftener.
The titty bear, teddy bear,teddy bear.
I probably, anyway, I was usingfabric softener and not for like
(31:15):
a year.
Well, hey, if it worked, yousmelled good, like my clothes.
This is so bad, but some of myclothes have these stains and
I'm like I can't get them off.
I've washed them, and so Idonated some clothes and threw
some of those away that weren'tbeing washed.
(31:36):
That was my problem.
But they were extra soft.
They were, and they still lookgood.
Yeah, that's all that matters.
I don't know, I don't know howit's attested.
It's like those people whodon't shower.
They just like spray perfume.
You know that's.
Yeah, I probably had areputation, a European shower I
didn't even know about At myhigh school.
They're like where's that chickagain?
(31:57):
She looks dirty.
She looks like blue stains onher clothes.
She looks dirty, but she smellsclean, probably.
Yeah, I'm telling you we werenot trained for life.
No, we weren't.
And they, just like our parents, just like sent us out into the
(32:22):
world with like clipped wings,like we haven't grown these.
I don't know how to use them.
I've never known any freedom atall.
Everything has always been donefor me.
That sounded horrible.
I know I was like, oh, thatsounds really like privileged.
But no, I mean, yeah, I mean Iwill say that there was no like
(32:45):
independence, even with justlike going out and being away
from your parents.
You know, yeah, I feel like Ileft home like a very like
scared person.
You know what I mean.
Yeah, and maybe that's also gotsomething to do with my like
true crime consumption at ayoung age no, unrelated, but my
(33:06):
mom was always like everyone'strying to murder me all the time
.
You gotta watch out that, watchout.
That guy was weird.
That guy was weird.
I know If a man looks at you,he wants you.
I know that was like and that'slike here people are allowed to
just have guns and psychune you.
No, not tissue.
Why don't you tissue everybodyLike I don't know how to defend
(33:33):
myself.
Scary, yeah, crazy, yeah, crazy, yeah.
But look at us now surviving 25percent more grown up than 10
years ago, maybe on a good day.
I often feel like my collegeyears were almost like high
(33:55):
school years for me, where I wasjust like learning how to be a
person.
Yeah, because I mean there werealso like we were not allowed
to hang out with people thatweren't from church.
Really, there was nobody ourage, it was just the two of us,
I know.
And what are we teaching eachother?
We don't know anything.
We were making stuff up'm justdelivering pinterest quotes and
(34:22):
I am running with those quoteslike it's none of my business.
Yes, slay-cist, eat, pray, love.
I can excuse every single thingyou do, ever.
We're just each other's lawyers.
(34:42):
We're not like helping eachother, maybe.
No, just stay calm and carry on, just like trying to think of
it.
Live, love, love.
Yeah, live love, love, live,love, love.
I said you pray love.
Huh, that's a book.
It's good lessons all around.
I haven't read it, but I'veheard good things.
(35:03):
Oh well, that's hilarious.
That concludes another episode.
Yes, all right, see you nexttime.
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