A Body Rebels: A Chronic Illness Podcast

In this episode, I talk about a driver’s license renewal that turned into an unexpected panic at the DMV. One question on one form forced me to think about my AICD, heart medication, and the fear of losing the independence I count on every day. I’m looking at medical honesty, the cost of disclosure, and what happens when protecting my health suddenly feels tangled up with protecting my freedom.

This podcast is narrated u...

Why does time seem to move faster once chronic illness becomes part of your life? In this episode of Surviving Chronic Illness: Life In A Body That Rebels, I reflect on the strange speed of adulthood, the emotional weight of creating something personal, and why the word “peace” drew more attention than any medical term ever could. For people living with sarcoidosis, heart failure, rare disease, or any long-term conditio...

In this episode, I’m sharing what went through my mind after someone newly diagnosed with neurosarcoidosis told me that hearing my voice helped calm their fear. I’ve lived with sarcoidosis for twenty years, and during that time, my relationship with mortality has changed. I still want more life, more ordinary mornings, and more time with the people I love. But I no longer want fear of death to consume the days I’m...

In this episode, I talk about an email accusing me of sounding too positive to be believable. I’m looking at why hope doesn’t erase pain, why gratitude isn’t denial, and why sick people shouldn’t have to perform despair to prove they’re suffering. I share what fear, breathlessness, fatigue, medical trauma, and uncertainty actually feel like in my life, while explaining why humor and warmth are still al...

I’m talking about the assumptions people made about my mental health after I became seriously ill, and why sadness, grief, anger, and depression aren’t interchangeable. I share what happened when my first therapist insisted on treating a diagnosis I didn’t recognize in myself, and how Buddhist and shamanic psychotherapy later helped me examine illness, resentment, guilt, childhood wounds, and self-blame. This epis...

In this episode, I talk about what it felt like to hear doctors put numbers on my future, then keep living past the dates that once scared me. I’m reflecting on stage four sarcoidosis, heart failure, scarred lungs, medical uncertainty, and the strange math of planning a life when no one can promise how much time is waiting. This isn’t a miracle story. It’s about fear, adaptation, dark humor, and the ordinary days ...

In this episode, I’m talking about kindness in healthcare, bedside manner, chronic illness care, and why the emotional side of medical appointments can follow me long after I leave the room. Living with sarcoidosis means I’ve spent years around scans, charts, vitals, instructions, and waiting rooms, but I also remember tone, patience, eye contact, and small moments of steadiness. I’m thinking through why basic kin...

In this episode, I’m talking about a silly song I sing to my dogs, a language I don’t actually speak, and the strange AI surprise that came back when I finally let technology listen. I’m reflecting on ancestry, imagination, chronic illness, memory, and the little rituals that sneak into daily life when my body is tired but my mind is still wandering. It starts with puppies, a tug toy, and nonsense sounds, but it o...

In this episode, I talk about my cousin Jenny, a childhood memory I’ve carried for more than fifty years, and the way grief can return through laughter before it ever knows what to do with itself. I’m reflecting on family distance, ovarian cancer, chronic illness, and what it feels like when my body keeps me far from a goodbye I wish I could attend. It’s about cousins, memory, regret, love, and the strange little ...

In this episode, I talk about an ordinary drive home that turned into a quiet reminder of how fragile life can be. I’m reflecting on a young neighbor’s sudden death, the strange grief of witnessing loss from a distance, and the promise my wife and I made never to leave each other angry. I also talk about chronic illness, uncertainty, marriage, and why small goodbyes deserve more care than we usually give them.

This podca...

Sometimes the smallest details in a story say more than the story itself. In this reflective episode, I talk about the way people describe strangers, the racial details they choose to include, and the quiet assumptions that can slip into everyday storytelling. This is a personal, conversational look at bias, fear, self-awareness, and the uncomfortable gap between what people believe about themselves and what their words sometimes r...

In this episode, I’m talking about the grief of missing who I used to be before chronic illness changed my body, my confidence, and the way I moved through life. I’m reflecting on identity, acceptance, and the quiet habit of measuring today’s body against yesterday’s freedom. Through a memory from Sedona, Arizona, I revisit a moment when I had to face what I’d lost, what I was still carrying, and how h...

In this episode, I’m talking about the new name, the new season, and why I needed a podcast title that felt closer to the stories I actually tell. I’m thinking about chronic illness, identity, breath, survival, and what it means to keep going without pretending I’ve become a brand-new person. The name has changed, but the voice, humor, medical reality, stubbornness, and lived experience underneath it are still min...

Living with chronic illness often means depending on treatments that help one part of the body while making another part miserable. In this episode, I talk about prednisone, steroid side effects, sarcoidosis, sleep disruption, hunger, medication dependence, and the strange emotional math of needing something you also resent. It’s a grounded, personal look at survival, adaptation, humor, and the small daily tricks people with ...

After reading a blog by someone living with heart failure and pulmonary hypertension, I found myself thinking about the line between anger and surrender in chronic illness. Anger makes sense when your body becomes a full-time job, but bitterness can quietly lock every door. In this episode, I talk about hope, medical trauma, healing, and why believing in possibility isn’t the same as pretending everything is fine. Living with...

One morning I realized I had stopped doing something completely ordinary. Stretching. Not because I chose to, but because somewhere along the way my body decided it wasn’t safe anymore. Living with sarcoidosis and heart failure doesn’t just affect your health in obvious ways. It quietly rewrites your instincts. The biggest changes don’t always happen in hospitals or test results. Sometimes they show up in small, a...

Sometimes the most exhausting part of chronic illness isn’t the appointments, the symptoms, the insurance nonsense, or the daily negotiations with a body that refuses to behave. Sometimes it’s an old relationship that comes back acting as if time erased the imbalance. In this episode, I talk about childhood friendship, unresolved feelings, one-sided effort, awkward reconnections, and the quiet relief of realizing that s...

Medical trauma doesn’t always announce itself during the obvious terrifying moments. Sometimes it waits until an ordinary hospital visit, after routine blood work, when everything should feel familiar and manageable. This episode explores chronic illness, sarcoidosis, heart failure, hospital anxiety, panic attacks, and the way the body can store fear long after the mind thinks it has handled the hard parts. It’s about e...

Living with chronic illness is not always shaped by dramatic medical events. Sometimes it is shaped by the tiny detours we quietly build into our days. In this episode, I talk about realizing I had been avoiding three ordinary stone steps, and what that small moment revealed about sarcoidosis, heart failure, fear, adaptation, and the slow way a life can shrink by inches. This is a personal, reflective, lightly funny look at avoidan...