June 4, 2025 • 39 mins
What if the path to transformation wasn't through grinding harder, but through being gentler with yourself? Emily Phillips discovered this truth during her remarkable journey from military veteran to manifestation coach.
After 12 years of military service, Emily found herself struggling with self-doubt and a chaotic mind. The tight-knit camaraderie she'd experienced with fellow female service members seemed impossible to replicate in civilian life. "I thought that I was so damaged from the military that I would just be unlovable," she shares with raw honesty.
Everything changed when she began exploring meditation and personal development. The simple yet profound practice of sitting with her thoughts revealed how much negative self-talk was driving her decisions. "You don't know how much you actually hate yourself until you sit and think about it," Emily explains. Through consistent meditation and powerful "I am" statements, she gradually transformed her identity and outlook.
Perhaps most revolutionary is Emily's approach to physical transformation. After years of heavy lifting and intense workouts, she discovered that gentleness yielded better results. "I can't be hard on my body and gentle on my mind," she realized. This shift toward yoga and listening to her body's needs led to losing 25 pounds while feeling better than ever. Her coaching now helps women envision their ideal selves in vivid detail – not just setting goals but embodying the person who has already achieved them.
This conversation challenges the dominant narrative that suffering is necessary for success. Emily's journey proves that meditation, self-compassion, and celebrating small wins creates more sustainable transformation than hustle culture ever could. Connect with Emily for her life-changing daily affirmations and discover how manifestation might be the missing piece in your own journey.
To connect with Emily-
emily@theuniquebalance.com
https://www.instagram.com/meditate.with.emily/
Hi and welcome to Thrive and Decide. I’m your host Sarah Thress. This podcast is intended to help women who are going through a divorce, continplating divorce or have lost a spouse feel seen, heard, understood and not alone. All the beautiful souls who share on here are coming from a place of vulnerability and a common belief that sharing your story will help others. You will also hear from industry experts on what to do and not do while going through a divorce.
Sarah Thress
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Thrive
and Decide.
This week I have Emily Phillipsof Empowered Soul and she is a
manifestation coach and reallyjust kind of helps women empower
, you know, just kind of embracetheir power and feel empowered
to go out there and do you know,the greatest things that
(00:25):
they're supposed to do in theirlife.
So, emily, thank you so muchfor taking time out to meet with
me.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I would love for you to justkind of walk us through, like
where did this idea come from?
Because I just think you knowwe've heard about all the
different coaches and all thedifferent things.
Um, and I know even you know,as I went through like my
divorce journey, um, you know, Istarted like looking into all
(00:55):
the different things and I'vereally gotten more into what
some would call like the wooworld.
Um, I like to feel it, yeah, Ilike to think of it more as just
like the world, but you knowother people call it woo and you
know.
So it's been really cool to meto see that there were people
like you out there that helpwomen especially.
(01:17):
I'm sure you help men too, butespecially women, you know, kind
of like, you know empowerthemselves.
So again, I'd love for you justto kind of walk us through.
You know, how did you even likeget into this and tell us about
your path?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
So.
I was actually in the militaryfor 12 years and one of the
things that I loved about beingin the military was like
specifically being a woman inthe military, because that
camaraderie around, like yourother shipmates and the other
people that, like you serve with, those women are in the same
boat as you, they like feel thesame things for you and, like
you kind of are just all walkingthrough this path together.
And so when I got out of themilitary, I struggled to find
(01:57):
like friends, and I struggled tofind relationships that were,
as you know, even as close to asto as that as I could find.
And so I struggled for a longtime.
I like really struggled with,like self-hate.
I struggled with, you know,really chaotic mind.
I struggled with really muchlike self-doubt and I thought
(02:18):
that like I couldn't be a healedperson and I thought that I was
so damaged from the militarythat I like just was going to be
like unlovable.
And so I decided that I wasgoing to start reading books
that were going to make me feelbetter, and like my husband was,
he's really great at liketelling me things that I didn't
(02:39):
want to hear in the beginningand saying things like you know
you have to do this.
Oh, I have a question though.
Yeah, we edited out.
Should I talk about my husbandIf this is a divorce?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
you can talk about whatever you would like to.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Okay, I'm sorry.
I thought about that and I waslike, ooh, I don't know if
that'll like be bad.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
No, it's totally fine yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Um, so I, I, my husband he really helped me like
lean into loving myself andworking with myself, and so I
started meditating.
And once I started meditatingand really sitting with myself,
I started like wanting to learnmore about it.
So I started learning more.
I actually read this book.
The very first book that got meinto personal development was
(03:24):
Girl Code by Kara AllwellAllwell I think that's her last
name, and she's a coach, and shetaught me one thing that was
like I don't care if everybodyelse is at the bar drinking beer
, I'm going to celebrate myselfand I'm going to get a cup of
champagne because that's what Iwant to drink and that's what I
deserve, and I feel like I'mworth that, because that's what
(03:45):
I want to drink and that's whatI deserve, and I feel like I'm
worth that.
And so she bought an expensivedrink of champagne and felt
fabulous while she was doing itand it just kind of made me
think like she was like on herlast leg, like she was really
like struggling in relationships, in all these things, and she
felt really good about herselfafter doing exactly what she
wanted.
And so I was like I'm going todo exactly what I want, and so I
(04:07):
decided that I wasn't going tolisten to like that negative
self-talk anymore.
I wasn't going to tell myselfthat I couldn't do it, and I was
going to manifest that I am acoach.
And this was like before I gotmy coaching certification.
This was before anything.
I was like I am a coach.
I would tell myself daily, likeI am a coach.
I would meditate on it and saylike this is what I want my
coaches to my coaching to looklike.
(04:28):
And I got my.
I found a program that I reallyliked.
It was health and wellness, um,with like the life coaching
certification, and I reallyliked what they had to say Um,
but I really focused more onlike the holistic health side of
it, because I am very woo-wooand I think like sitting with
your thoughts is like the mostempowering thing that you can do
(04:50):
for yourself, because you don'tknow how much you actually hate
yourself until you sit andthink about it.
And so when I sat and thoughtabout it for, you know, years, I
was dwelling on it.
But then, when I transformed itand made it say like okay, I
don't hate myself anymore, I nolonger want to hate myself, I
want to love myself, I want toembrace myself Like I'm not who
(05:14):
I was in the past, like I'm nota disabled vet, I'm not a PTSD
veteran, like I am a soul coachwho helps women manifest their
dreams through meditation andlife coaching, and like that's
what I am and that's what I donow.
And like it makes me like tearup because I'm like so proud of
like who I am now because it'scompletely different than who I
(05:35):
was like even last year and solast year I wasn't, like I
didn't have my niche last year,so this year I feel like I got
it down.
I know exactly what I got itdown.
I know exactly what I want todo because I know exactly how I
can help women and like, like Ido predominantly focus on women
because I feel like we are morespiritual and we are more
(05:55):
connected.
And like that, essentially,like that's what I wanted was to
find other women who I couldconnect with and who I can help
thrive and love themselves,because I feel like most women
don't and they hide it and theywant to love themselves but they
don't know how.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, I totally agree .
You know, in the military andthen after the military is a lot
of like what women go throughwhen they're like you know
you're in a marriage and you'vegot this partnership.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I think it's forever.
You know and like, and thenwhenever you get out, you
realize, holy crap, like I don'tcare, like how well you were
when you went in, when you leavethat marriage, there's always a
piece of you that's missingthat you've lost because you
wanted to focus more on beingthe best wife or the best you
know, mom or you know whateveryou weren't thinking about.
(06:52):
How do I take care of me?
How do I become the bestversion of me?
And so sometimes you know, asmuch as it sucks it takes going
through that process to reallyrealize.
You know, as you go on yourself journey, your self healing
journey, you, you know it takesa while for you to realize like,
huh, okay, that's super sucked,but look at me now you know.
(07:13):
So I love that you're so proudof yourself because you should
be like done some big, bigthings and that's huge.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I think so too, and I thank you so much for that
Cause I like, I know that I'mreally proud of myself and like
I'm, I like want other people tobe proud of me too, because I
think that we should all beproud of each other.
Like, every single day I don'tremember where I heard this, but
like you are doing a hundredpercent as a human, and like you
are every single day, you areshowing up and you are being a
(07:43):
human, so you are doing theright thing as keeping yourself
alive, and that is enough untilyou can figure out what the next
thing is, and and then thatwill be enough for you.
And so, like, just keepingyourself alive one more day is
like that's that's important andthat is something to be proud
of.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah Well, and I think that's so true because
some days, like you know,whenever I'm helping, you know
people kind of going through adivorce or the loss of a spouse
or whatever.
You know it's all, every partof it, is a grief process and so
.
I'm always like, if you feellike you know you need to cry,
throw yourself the biggest pityparty in the world.
Do it all in, throw that pityparty, because then the next day
(08:25):
you're going to be able to pullyour big girl panties up and
move on and it's going to be somuch better than if you keep
suppressing it.
And the same about, like it'sjust.
Like I always say, it's aroller coaster, like some days
your lows are going to be reallylow and then the next day your
highs can be really high, buteventually your lows don't get
as low and your highs get higherand it starts to kind of even
(08:46):
out.
But again it goes back to justdoing that one thing that day.
So if the one thing you didthat day was get out of bed,
good for you.
Like, literally give yourself ahigh five, any of the things.
Like awesome, you know, if youbrush your teeth today, that's
another gold star.
Good for you.
Like, just like, celebrate allthe little things and they will
(09:07):
start to add up and it'll startto get easier, like as you, as
you celebrate.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So when you said that , I was thinking like my, I used
to go to therapy and mytherapist would always start off
with a check-in and she wouldsay like, did, like how is your
hygiene, how is your dentalhygiene, how is this?
And I was, like I asked her oneday, like why do you ask me
these questions?
Like do I stink?
And she was like no, emily,she's like people who come in
here and who are depressed.
Sometimes, like you don'trealize that you stopped taking
(09:32):
care of your health, like yourphysical health, your emotional
health, and like sometimes, likethose things just fall through
and like I need to make sure,like I'm making sure that, like
you are aware that, like you'rewinning because, guess what,
you're telling me that you tooka shower this morning and that
you brushed your teeth thismorning, so like I'm really
proud of you.
And I like sat there and Ithought about it for a second
and I was like she's right whenI didn't feel good about myself,
(09:56):
like I didn't, like I letmyself go with weight, with my
like my hygiene, with myskincare, like all the things,
and so I didn't think about ituntil she like was like no, duh.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I know Well, and it's so crazy because those are
things that, like, we just don'tthink about, because after you
know like five or six, like itjust becomes part of your daily
pattern.
But, whenever you're in, youknow, like whenever you're in
that fight or flight or that youknow depressive state, you're
not thinking about all of thosethings and you, you know, you
stop doing all your usual things.
And you know.
(10:31):
So it is huge, like literally,if all you did was get out of
bed today.
Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's it, like, literally, if all you did was
get out of bed today, awesome,awesome, that's it.
You know, I totally agree withthat I love that so much.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Yeah, I do too.
So, yeah, so, but your style,or like what you kind of focus
on with coaching.
What I love about it is it'snot just your traditional like
coaching, it's like helpingwomen to kind of see their
potential, so kind of see whatis actually out there waiting
for them.
All they have to do is justlike receive it.
(11:02):
But I'd love for you to kind ofwalk us through like what does
a session, you know, feel likewith you?
And I'm sure everyone isdifferent and everything is
unique, but you know, maybe arethere certain things that you do
with every session or yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So I always start off my sessions, so my coaching
sessions are the same.
So I have with my packages thatI do.
I do coaching sessions and I domeditation because I really
believe that, like when we'redoing coaching, a lot of the
things will come up through ourmeditation process.
So we do coaching and thenmeditation each week.
(11:37):
So we'll meet twice a week andbut for our coaching sessions
they always are the same, likeour very first one.
It's a connection call.
I figure out, like what yourbiggest goals are in life.
Like I want to know the top ofthe top goals that you have.
And like sometimes there arethings like I just want to be
healed, like I just want to behappy, I don't want to be mad
anymore.
Or like sometimes there arethings like I want to, you know,
(12:01):
earn a million dollars thisyear and I'm like, okay, let's
figure out how we're going to dothat, and then we break it down
.
So then I give them all right.
What are reasonable actionsteps that we can do?
Like what is like we're notgoing to wake up tomorrow and
we're going to have a milliondollars in our bank account, but
what does the version of you.
That and this is where we getinto the manifesting is I teach
(12:23):
people how to own that versionof a millionaire and see
themselves as that person.
So literally step into the sideof that body and say what does
this person sound like?
What do they say?
Like, what kind ofconversations do they have at
dinner?
What kind of friends do theyhave around them?
So if you want to be amillionaire like, do you still
(12:46):
shop at 7-Eleven to get yourSlurpees every day?
Or do you want to go over and,you know, maybe get a fancy
drink with your girlfriends, youknow somewhere else, and like,
so you want to go out and youwant to meet people and you want
to do all these things, if youwant to be healed, you're not
going to stay inside and stayunder the covers, because that's
not what the healed version ofyou does.
(13:09):
The healed version of you goesoutside, they sit in the grass,
they connect with earth.
I'm very big on connecting withearth.
I'm very big on like going andgrounding yourself and like
collecting energy from the moon.
And so I always tell my clients, like, if you're struggling
with depression, like, gooutside and look at the moon,
because nobody can look at themoon and not smile.
(13:31):
It's so beautiful and it's sopowerful, like it's so powerful
and you just get, so you canabsorb so much, just like
natural healing from that moon'senergy and so, um, but each one
of my sessions, like we go intovisualization techniques, we,
we, I like we'll have them sitand think about, like, what does
(13:53):
this person do on a daily basis?
Okay, now, this is what you'regoing to do tomorrow.
You're going to wake up at five30 and you're going to do your
affirmations and you're going tojournal for 15 minutes and
you're going to meditate for 15minutes.
Because that's what a healedperson does is they get up in
the morning and they do all thethings that help them and that
make them feel fulfilled, and Ikind of just give them like
(14:15):
those little tools to just helpthem love themselves a little
bit more.
So, like I can create skincareroutines for people, which is
mainly just like just go washyour face, like if you've never
washed your face before go washyour face, go go to CVS and find
like a really great likecleanser and moisturizer, and
your life will be completelyforever changed.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Right Moisturizer.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, I know, I love that Because I just think that
again, you know, sometimespeople don't understand, you
know, and I I will say, man, ifyou had talked to me, maybe even
three years ago, I wouldn'thave understood what you were
just saying.
But because I've continued downthis path, I now can hear those
(15:03):
words and I'm like, oh, I nowpicture myself, you know, in my
house, on the beach that I knowI'm going to have, and I feel
grateful, I feel gratitude.
I can picture myself standingthere next to, you know, next to
my husband, and I can see thesun shining on me and you know I
can see you know, the beach andthe ocean, like I can see all
(15:24):
that and I can feel thegratitude.
And then in my everyday life Itry and feel that same gratitude
and it's like just knowing, youknow that you are feeling that
feeling now and knowing thatthat's going to come.
You don't even have to worryabout how it's going to happen.
Like, and I was literally I'vealways, I'm a recovering people
(15:45):
pleaser, recovering, you know,control freak.
So, yeah, so I learned all ofthat through my divorce as well.
That was super fun.
But, you know, as I've gone onthis health journey, you know,
in the spiritual journey and allof that, like you know, it's
been really cool to now be like,oh, that's what they meant.
So when you were like, oh, myGod, I get it, I know what
(16:07):
you're saying.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's so funny because , like so many people right now,
they're like they're triggeredby like the things that I have
to say because they're nothealed, and like that's okay.
Like you can be triggered, youcan feel frustrated about it and
like you can have like your ownopinions about it, but like I,
I do feel like I know where you,like where you came from, like
I I've been divorced, like I getit and like it was really hard
(16:30):
and you think that you're gonnabe with somebody forever.
But like things do get easierand like you do move through it
and like it's part of your pastthat is either super important
to you or it's something thatyou can like pocket away and say
like OK, that happened and I'mOK with that happening and I
feel completely at peace withwhat happened and I can forgive
(16:53):
myself and I can forgive themand I can move on.
And then you don't have to likethink about it anymore and it's
so much nicer to like I haveforgiven myself, I have forgiven
this person and I can just packit, this away and not have to
stress about it, like it's notdwelling on me, it's not
creating a negative aura aroundme, because I feel like once you
(17:14):
like bring it up and like keeptalking about it and keep having
like that negative emotiontowards whatever feeling it is,
then it's just it's not going togo away.
So you have to like accept andacknowledge and so I do work
with my clients on that too.
Like sometimes you know they'restruggling with like that self
doubt and I'm saying like okay,but you're, you know, you you've
(17:35):
got this.
Like you you tell me all thetime like these are the things
that you want, these are thethings that you've got.
Like you're setting all thesegoals.
Like you can do this, like lookat all, the look at all the
goals that we have achievedalready and those are your small
goals, but they're still goalsand like there's still wins.
So like if it's worthcelebrating, then it's worth
(17:58):
like remembering and having thatlike excitement about it.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, well, and I love that because it reminds me
of a book I listened to recentlycalled the Gap in the Game by
Dan Sullivan, and so I don'tknow if you've listened to that
one or read it, but it's reallygeared more towards business.
But I have found that itactually makes so much sense to
an everyday life because it'struly thinking about the gap in
(18:23):
the game thinking.
So the game thinking is lookingback, like what you just said.
You're looking back on all thethings you've already done and
you're like, holy crap, look howfar I've come.
Like, yeah, you know, soexcited.
But gap thinking, you're onlylooking at what you're lacking.
You're only like, well, yeah,but I'm not, you know, I don't
have a million dollars in mybank account, I don't have my
(18:44):
beach house, I don't have, youknow, and it's like, okay, cool.
But let's look back, like overthe last, you know, even the
last three months, what have youdone that has moved you closer
to it?
Like you know?
So, like, when you focus on thegain, so you focus on the
positive, then it allows you tolike move forward, whereas if
you stay in that lack mentalityor, you know, only focus on what
(19:05):
you don't have, yet it's goingto keep you stuck.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, absolutely.
And that is like, excuse me,one of the biggest things with
manifesting.
And I was actually listening toMel Robbins yesterday in one of
her books and she hadspecifically said what exactly,
word for word, not word for word, but like very specifically
what you just said.
Like when you think about thelack of things, like you're
always going to have lack thenand you're never going to look
(19:30):
at what you've already come,like how much you've already
grown.
And so when I teach manifesting, I teach that like we're not
hoping for things, we're notwishing for things, because when
you're wishing and you'rehoping, you're still focusing on
lack.
And when you're saying I am,those words after I am are the
most powerful statements.
(19:50):
So I am healed, I am a businessowner, I am happy, I am alive.
Like those words are sopowerful because they are true
statements to who you are.
And so if you're saying like,oh, I hope to be happy, then
you're now saying I'm not happyright now, but I hope to be
happy one day.
So if I carry around thatenergy, I'm still carrying
(20:12):
around the energy that I'mlacking something, instead of
saying like I am happy and I'mgoing to stay happy.
I'm always something, instead ofsaying like I am happy and I'm
going to stay happy, I'm alwayshappy Like I am so happy, and so
like when you, you, just youcome off with a better and more
positive energy, and like whenyou put out positive energy in
the world, you open up and youattract positive energy.
(20:33):
So like, of course we haveconnected because your vibration
is positive and my vibration ispositive, so we connected that
way.
But you know, if I was carryingaround this like lack, you'd be
like oh, we're not, we're notthe same.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
We're not on the same Right, I know.
And what's interesting to me toois, as I've really leaned more
into, you know, the woo worldand really like leaned into the
spiritual journey, I have foundthat it's so much easier now,
like I just, and my life isn'teasy.
I'm not saying that I don't haveany difficulties or any issues
(21:11):
by any stretch of the means, butyou know, it's like I I have an
issue and then I'm like, okay,well, that sucks, all right,
well, how are we going to fixthat?
You know, and it's just like,instead of sticking there, like,
oh, my car broke down and mykids wrecked it, and you know,
just like all the differentthings, like you know, instead
of staying in that, it's morelike, okay, well, that sucks,
(21:32):
let's fix it, let's move on, youknow, and just like staying
that positive.
And then it's the same, as youknow, like what you put out
there, you're going to get back.
So you know, whenever you'relike man, that person's so lucky
, well, I mean, maybe there's alittle bit of luck in there, but
really what it is is they'rejust staying positive and so if
they're putting positivity outinto the world, they're getting
(21:52):
positive things back.
When you're in a shitty mood allthe time.
You're going to get shittythings back Like that's just how
this works Like yeah,absolutely, I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And like you can, like it is.
I've like like let people outof my life because they were
just a ball of negativity andI'm like listen, like I cannot
listen to you anymore, likecomplain about your life and how
miserable you are, when likeyou're not wanting to change it,
like I really want to help youbut like I can't just be your
(22:23):
backboard all the time.
You know like you have to makethose changes If you want to, if
you want to change, if you wantthings to change, then like you
have to change.
And that is like another thingwe talk about in manifesting is
that like you can't just saylike I am this and then don't do
anything.
You have to have action behindit.
You have to have action behindeverything.
If you say like I am healed orI am happy, and then you go and
(22:46):
cry into like a bowl of Jim andwhat Ben and Jerry's ice cream
Cause you're sad, then likeyou're just going to lie to
yourself.
But if you're happy and then yougo do things that like happy
people are doing and like whenyou're happy, like what do you
do when you're happy?
You go outside, you read a book.
You do art, like you dowhatever, like whatever fills
(23:07):
your cup is what you do rightnow.
Mine is yoga.
I'm like so into yoga and Ilove that.
Yeah, it's like I literallylost 25 pounds this year by like
completely changing my workoutregimen and like going from
lifting to like being gentle onmy body.
Yeah, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well, and I think that's so huge because I, um,
I've been working with a coachthat has been helping me, um, to
figure out an intuitive routineversus just like you know cause
, like when I, at the beginningof the year, I was like, ooh,
I'm going to do, I didn't wantto do a 75 hard but, I was like
I'll create a 75 soft and like,you know, and I'll just create
(23:53):
this.
And she was like okay, but doyou think that's sustainable?
And I was like, huh, yeah, no,I normally I'm like I'm going to
do this, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do a whole 30 and
I'm going to drink a gallon ofwater.
And I'm going to, you know,like, do, like, I'm going to
work out every day, you know,for an hour, and I'm going to do
that, like, and I set all theseunrealistic expectations and
then I burned myself out andthen I just quit all of them and
(24:15):
instead, this year, one of thebig things I really wanted to
get in the habit of wasmeditation, because and I want
to do every single day, becauseI know that that helps me feel
better.
And so now I'm at 40 days in arow of of um meditating.
I didn't say manifesting, and Iwas like Nope, I mean I am
(24:39):
through my meditation, but.
But you know, so it's reallycool.
And so I have this one that'slike a high frequency, you know,
raises your frequency ummeditation, it's literally seven
minutes, but every morning I doit and I can tell when I don't
do it.
I'm like, Ooh, yeah, I need todo that, you know, and so, but
I'm not so strict about like ithas to be the very first thing I
do when I first wake up.
(24:59):
You know, I'm like I just needto do it.
And now it's become a habit.
And then I started, you know,like walking my dogs, and you
know, now I've done it like five, like five days a week for two
weeks now, and so I'm like, okay, like I'm going to, you know,
do that for a couple more weeks,make sure that's still a habit.
So like kind of habit stackingand like, okay, what's the next
one?
And so I love that you said tobe gentle, because I think a lot
(25:21):
of times, especially as women,we look at social media and no
matter how old we are, like Ihave to remind myself all the
time like Sarah, you're 46, likethey're 20, relax, they're 20.
And of course they can do thatlike crazy gymnastics routine to
be able to do that too.
But you can't now, and that'sokay.
(25:42):
Like again, you're 46.
Like, so just let it go.
But again, I just think that Iwas always trying to like I had
always been a gymnast or aswimmer and I'd always lifted
heavy and I'd always done likeall these things that you know.
I thought that I had to do thatand I love that.
You just said that you used tolift heavy and now you're like
I'm going to be gentle in mybody and you're getting the
(26:03):
results that you wanted, and soI think it speaks a lot to,
instead of pushing something ordoing what you think you have to
or what the 20 year oldinfluencer is doing on you know
TikTok, instead you're listeningto your body, you're doing
following intuition and you knowyou're seeing the results.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, absolutely, cause like when I was in the
military, I was a really heavylifter and I was really strong
and I absolutely loved it.
I had like great legs, greatbody.
I was super pumped about it.
And then, after I had my secondkid, I like really didn't feel
like I didn't want to do thatanymore.
I was like I don't want to liftheavy, I don't want to do this,
and so I really just likedidn't know what to do, cause
(26:42):
that's like all I knew how to dowas like I did all the beach
body works out workouts.
I did like the hard ones.
I did the 75 hard before I likeI did all of that and I didn't
want to do it again because Iwasn't there anymore.
I wasn't trying to be that inmy fitness era anymore.
I wanted to be gentle withmyself and I felt like I can't
(27:04):
be hard on my body and gentle onmy mind.
I don't know why that, just forme, that didn't seem like it
was going to work.
So I felt like if I'm going tobe gentle in my mind, I'm going
to be gentle on my body.
And I did that and I said I'mgoing to be.
I became a vegetarian at thebeginning of this year too,
because I realized that meat wasmaking my body really inflamed,
(27:25):
and so I listened to my bodyand I said, okay, my, you know,
my partner is a vegetarian andshe's been doing this for a very
long time and has had greatresults with it.
I am going to try it.
And so once I did that, I feltsignificantly better and I'm
like what are we?
I'm three months, three and ahalf months, in now to being a
(27:49):
vegetarian, which is something Inever thought I would do, and
it was a way for me to be moregentle on myself.
And I think that, that, like I,I think men listen to um so many
, uh, like hard ass people, likethey hear all the time that,
like you have to like thingshave to suck in order for you to
(28:09):
like get all the time.
That, like you have to likethings have to suck in order for
you to like get to the thingsthat you want in life, or like
you have to suffer in order tobe happy.
And I don't believe that Like,I do believe that, like you can
be happy and like be gentle withyourself and gentle with your
mind, and like gentle with thosearound you Because, like, if
you don't love yourself and likeyou're not going to teach other
people how to love and you'renot going to be approachable and
(28:31):
you're not going to be genuine,and so, like, just be kind and
like be gentle on yourself andyou'll see the results.
Because everybody has that likeinner child that just wants to
be, like feel like they're doingsomething right.
And so when you're like losing apound or two just from doing
yoga and being gentle and you'relike I'm going to keep doing
(28:52):
that, like I guarantee you Icould have lost the same amount
of weight the same amount oftime, had the same body
structure doing I know Iwouldn't have the same body
structure, but I would be in adifferent physique than I am now
If I.
What?
If I decided like I am going togo do lifting, but I don't want
to do that.
Like I didn't want to do that,I don't want to go out and run.
If I'm getting like good andpositive results with my mind
(29:13):
and my body while I'm doing yoga, that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, and I think that's so huge because, again, I
think that and I loved yourcomparison for men and women
because I think that you know,especially like anyone kind of
in my age group, because I thinkyou're probably significantly
younger than me- Not that muchyounger.
But, like we were raised in thehustle culture, like, and you
(29:39):
have to, you have to grind,grind, grind, like, or you're
nothing's going to happen.
And you know, if you everlistened to people like Grant
Cardone or you know anyone thatkind of sounds like him, it's
just like, oh, it's balls to thewall all the time, like there
is no rest, like if you're goingto be a millionaire, you have
to do this and you have to be upat 5am and blah, you know, and
it's like whoa, okay.
(30:01):
Like you know, and if yousubscribe to that and if that
works for you, great.
I am not going to tell you that.
You know that my is the rightway.
That's fine.
If hustle culture works for you, do it For me.
I'm done with hustle culture,like I am done trying to force
everything.
I'm done trying to hustle,hustle, hustle.
And now, like you know, ifthere's a day that I feel like
(30:23):
I'm depleted and I want to takea nap, I allow myself to take a
nap without the guilt yes, Iused to take a nap but then I'd
feel guilty Like oh man, if myhusband comes home.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm so lazy.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, I'm lazy.
And if my husband comes homeand he sees that I'm taking a
nap, he's going to think I'mlazy.
And, you know, my kids aregoing to think I'm lazy.
And now I'm just like nope.
You know, if I'm honoring that,I'm then going to be able to
(30:58):
give from a full cup instead ofan empty cup and I actually have
much more.
Like I've had so many moredownloads and ideas come to me
since I've really embraced thisliving with ease versus hustle
culture.
Like it's insane to me, like Iwill never go back to hustle
culture.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, and like I was in hustle culture, I feel like
for maybe.
So I got my certification inDecember and but like, but I
think August, like even before Igot my certification like I was
getting paid clients but I wasgetting like maybe one or two.
Since I've gotten mycertification and decided like
to be like gently, like do likethis gentle life for myself and
like really hone in on, like myskills, I've gotten so much more
(31:40):
.
I've gotten so many morefollowers on like social media
platforms I've got I feel likeI'm so much more genuine with
myself and people want somebodyand they're going to listen to
somebody who's going to beauthentic and who's going to
like talk to them like they're ahuman, instead of just saying
like what you're doing is wrongright now and you're going to
suck regardless.
(32:01):
So why don't you just suck alittle bit less today and you're
going to get better tomorrow?
Like I don't want that.
I don't want somebody.
Like I don't know about you,but me I'm triggered when
someone screams at me, so likemaybe that makes me soft, but
like I don't care, cause I feellike really happy and we're
really good with where I am inmy life.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, I love that you should be so proud of yourself,
because that is like I mean,that's huge Like to know that.
I mean I always knew I couldn'tgo into the military, because I
get triggered too when peopleyell at me and I was like
there's no way I would even makeit through bootcamp.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
People.
They don't yell at you, theyjust like, say like silly things
and you're just like.
I just laugh, like I'm reallygood at being like, but like, if
you like yell at me like youknow what I mean.
Like David Goggins is like veryintimidating man, like I don't
think I could handle him yellingat me to do five more push-ups.
Like I just don't think I guyslike you want me to do five more
(32:57):
push-ups.
I will, but not if you yell atme like that.
Yeah, like I'm not gonna do itnow.
I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I totally agree.
Um, so if someone listening tothis, um, you know, is because I
love that, I love that thisconversation just kind of
organically came, this, you know, is because I love that, I love
that this conversation justkind of organically came about
and, you know, we were able toreally, just, you know, kind of
highlight that you're, you know,a real person and you've done
the work, so you understandwhere people are coming from.
(33:25):
You know, if someone listeningto this is like holy shit, I
need Emily in my life, well, howwould they like get a hold of
you and how would they get tostart to work with you?
Like what would that look like?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So I use my phone a lot, so is it okay if I like
give my personal phone numberout?
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You can do whatever you want, and I will always put
everything that you say in theshow notes, so that way, if
someone's listening to this inthe car and they're like crap, I
can't write that down or Ican't remember the number, it's
always going to be there.
So any way that you want peopleto reach out to you is
perfectly fine.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Okay, yeah, so like if you text me and you say like
hey, I heard you on this podcast, like we can talk that way, we
can connect that way.
I also have a Facebook page.
If you just type Emily Phillips, like I have, I think I'll
probably be like one of many,but it's a meditation picture of
me.
And then I also have anInstagram page and it's meditate
(34:17):
with me, I think.
Let me look really quickly.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, it's all good.
I know I'm the same way.
I'm like I know I have socials,but what are my handles?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
So my Instagram handle is meditatewithemily, so
if you find me on Instagram andyou wanna send me a message,
like I send out.
One of the best things abouttexting me, though, is that
you'll automatically getenrolled in my affirmations, and
, like Sarah, you know, myaffirmations are great, so I
send daily affirmations, everysingle day, to all my friends
(34:48):
and family and clients, and ifyou don't want them, then that's
fine, but you're going to getthem if you send me a text
message.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I love it, honestly, like because we started talking.
You know I had met you atBeauty Boost event and you know
you were speaking and there wasjust like I just felt connected
to you, just even from yourconversation, and I was like, oh
, I want to talk to her more andI want to get her on the
podcast, and so, like weconnected, you know, via email,
and then we started texting andthen all of a sudden, I got your
(35:17):
daily affirmations and holyshit, Like I have told so many
people, like they are lifechanging and they are so spot on
, Like everything that you say.
I'm like oh, how did she know?
I needed to hear that today.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
That makes me so happy because you're not the and
that's the best part, too islike you're not the only person
that has told me that, like myson's daycare teacher, I send
them to her every morning andlike she is like Emily every
single day.
These hits so spot on and I'mlike thank you, and I I write
them to my husband, like I writethem to my husband every day
and I tell him I'm like I feel,like I genuinely feel them, like
(35:52):
these are all the ones thatlike I, I feel and I use and I
just want people to feel likethe, the feelings that I feel,
because I feel so happy and soempowered that I want to like
empower others and he, like bothof my partners, are just like
the best people to like empower,because then we're all going to
thrive.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, no, I totally agree, and I think that's so
amazing.
Um, you know that you have thatgift and that you share that
gift so easily, you know, withpeople, and I just think that
you know you've obviouslystepped into exactly what you
were meant to do and I love thatjourney for you and I love this
so much for you.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Thank you so much.
I really feel like that too.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Good yeah, Good Well, thank you so much for taking
time out of your day.
I know you're super busy withthree little ones.
You know like a thrivingbusiness and everything, but I
really appreciate you taking thetime to come on here and talk.
Like I said, I'll have all ofyour information in the show
notes so that that way anyonelistening that wants to work
with you can find you and, ifnothing else, text her so you
(36:59):
get the daily affirmations.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yes, always text.
I love texting people on thoseaffirmations.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
Well.
Thanks so much for tuning in tothis week's episode.
Please make sure that you areleaving a review.
Five-star review is obviouslyvery much appreciated, but that
review is feedback, and feedbackis a gift.
Please make sure you're sharingthis with others, because that
is the greatest compliment thatyou can give Emily and myself,
(37:25):
and also make sure you arefollowing the show so you never
miss another episode.
Thanks so much and we'll seeyou next time on Thrive and
Decide.
Hi and welcome to this week's episode of Thrive
and Decide.
This week I have Emily Phillipsof Empowered Soul and she is a
manifestation coach and reallyjust kind of helps women empower
, you know, just kind of embracetheir power and feel empowered
to go out there and do you know,the greatest things that
(00:25):
they're supposed to do in theirlife.
So, emily, thank you so muchfor taking time out to meet with
me.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
So I would love for you to justkind of walk us through, like
where did this idea come from?
Because I just think you knowwe've heard about all the
different coaches and all thedifferent things.
Um, and I know even you know,as I went through like my
divorce journey, um, you know, Istarted like looking into all
(00:55):
the different things and I'vereally gotten more into what
some would call like the wooworld.
Um, I like to feel it, yeah, Ilike to think of it more as just
like the world, but you knowother people call it woo and you
know.
So it's been really cool to meto see that there were people
like you out there that helpwomen especially.
(01:17):
I'm sure you help men too, butespecially women, you know, kind
of like, you know empowerthemselves.
So again, I'd love for you justto kind of walk us through.
You know, how did you even likeget into this and tell us about
your path?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah, absolutely.
So.
I was actually in the militaryfor 12 years and one of the
things that I loved about beingin the military was like
specifically being a woman inthe military, because that
camaraderie around, like yourother shipmates and the other
people that, like you serve with, those women are in the same
boat as you, they like feel thesame things for you and, like
you kind of are just all walkingthrough this path together.
And so when I got out of themilitary, I struggled to find
(01:57):
like friends, and I struggled tofind relationships that were,
as you know, even as close to asto as that as I could find.
And so I struggled for a longtime.
I like really struggled with,like self-hate.
I struggled with, you know,really chaotic mind.
I struggled with really muchlike self-doubt and I thought
(02:18):
that like I couldn't be a healedperson and I thought that I was
so damaged from the militarythat I like just was going to be
like unlovable.
And so I decided that I wasgoing to start reading books
that were going to make me feelbetter, and like my husband was,
he's really great at liketelling me things that I didn't
(02:39):
want to hear in the beginningand saying things like you know
you have to do this.
Oh, I have a question though.
Yeah, we edited out.
Should I talk about my husbandIf this is a divorce?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
you can talk about whatever you would like to.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Okay, I'm sorry.
I thought about that and I waslike, ooh, I don't know if
that'll like be bad.
Speaker 1 (02:59):
No, it's totally fine yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Um, so I, I, my husband he really helped me like
lean into loving myself andworking with myself, and so I
started meditating.
And once I started meditatingand really sitting with myself,
I started like wanting to learnmore about it.
So I started learning more.
I actually read this book.
The very first book that got meinto personal development was
(03:24):
Girl Code by Kara AllwellAllwell I think that's her last
name, and she's a coach, and shetaught me one thing that was
like I don't care if everybodyelse is at the bar drinking beer
, I'm going to celebrate myselfand I'm going to get a cup of
champagne because that's what Iwant to drink and that's what I
deserve, and I feel like I'mworth that, because that's what
(03:45):
I want to drink and that's whatI deserve, and I feel like I'm
worth that.
And so she bought an expensivedrink of champagne and felt
fabulous while she was doing itand it just kind of made me
think like she was like on herlast leg, like she was really
like struggling in relationships, in all these things, and she
felt really good about herselfafter doing exactly what she
wanted.
And so I was like I'm going todo exactly what I want, and so I
(04:07):
decided that I wasn't going tolisten to like that negative
self-talk anymore.
I wasn't going to tell myselfthat I couldn't do it, and I was
going to manifest that I am acoach.
And this was like before I gotmy coaching certification.
This was before anything.
I was like I am a coach.
I would tell myself daily, likeI am a coach.
I would meditate on it and saylike this is what I want my
coaches to my coaching to looklike.
(04:28):
And I got my.
I found a program that I reallyliked.
It was health and wellness, um,with like the life coaching
certification, and I reallyliked what they had to say Um,
but I really focused more onlike the holistic health side of
it, because I am very woo-wooand I think like sitting with
your thoughts is like the mostempowering thing that you can do
(04:50):
for yourself, because you don'tknow how much you actually hate
yourself until you sit andthink about it.
And so when I sat and thoughtabout it for, you know, years, I
was dwelling on it.
But then, when I transformed itand made it say like okay, I
don't hate myself anymore, I nolonger want to hate myself, I
want to love myself, I want toembrace myself Like I'm not who
(05:14):
I was in the past, like I'm nota disabled vet, I'm not a PTSD
veteran, like I am a soul coachwho helps women manifest their
dreams through meditation andlife coaching, and like that's
what I am and that's what I donow.
And like it makes me like tearup because I'm like so proud of
like who I am now because it'scompletely different than who I
(05:35):
was like even last year and solast year I wasn't, like I
didn't have my niche last year,so this year I feel like I got
it down.
I know exactly what I got itdown.
I know exactly what I want todo because I know exactly how I
can help women and like, like Ido predominantly focus on women
because I feel like we are morespiritual and we are more
(05:55):
connected.
And like that, essentially,like that's what I wanted was to
find other women who I couldconnect with and who I can help
thrive and love themselves,because I feel like most women
don't and they hide it and theywant to love themselves but they
don't know how.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, I totally agree .
You know, in the military andthen after the military is a lot
of like what women go throughwhen they're like you know
you're in a marriage and you'vegot this partnership.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I think it's forever.
You know and like, and thenwhenever you get out, you
realize, holy crap, like I don'tcare, like how well you were
when you went in, when you leavethat marriage, there's always a
piece of you that's missingthat you've lost because you
wanted to focus more on beingthe best wife or the best you
know, mom or you know whateveryou weren't thinking about.
(06:52):
How do I take care of me?
How do I become the bestversion of me?
And so sometimes you know, asmuch as it sucks it takes going
through that process to reallyrealize.
You know, as you go on yourself journey, your self healing
journey, you, you know it takesa while for you to realize like,
huh, okay, that's super sucked,but look at me now you know.
(07:13):
So I love that you're so proudof yourself because you should
be like done some big, bigthings and that's huge.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
I think so too, and I thank you so much for that
Cause I like, I know that I'mreally proud of myself and like
I'm, I like want other people tobe proud of me too, because I
think that we should all beproud of each other.
Like, every single day I don'tremember where I heard this, but
like you are doing a hundredpercent as a human, and like you
are every single day, you areshowing up and you are being a
(07:43):
human, so you are doing theright thing as keeping yourself
alive, and that is enough untilyou can figure out what the next
thing is, and and then thatwill be enough for you.
And so, like, just keepingyourself alive one more day is
like that's that's important andthat is something to be proud
of.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
Yeah Well, and I think that's so true because
some days, like you know,whenever I'm helping, you know
people kind of going through adivorce or the loss of a spouse
or whatever.
You know it's all, every partof it, is a grief process and so
.
I'm always like, if you feellike you know you need to cry,
throw yourself the biggest pityparty in the world.
Do it all in, throw that pityparty, because then the next day
(08:25):
you're going to be able to pullyour big girl panties up and
move on and it's going to be somuch better than if you keep
suppressing it.
And the same about, like it'sjust.
Like I always say, it's aroller coaster, like some days
your lows are going to be reallylow and then the next day your
highs can be really high, buteventually your lows don't get
as low and your highs get higherand it starts to kind of even
(08:46):
out.
But again it goes back to justdoing that one thing that day.
So if the one thing you didthat day was get out of bed,
good for you.
Like, literally give yourself ahigh five, any of the things.
Like awesome, you know, if youbrush your teeth today, that's
another gold star.
Good for you.
Like, just like, celebrate allthe little things and they will
(09:07):
start to add up and it'll startto get easier, like as you, as
you celebrate.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
So when you said that , I was thinking like my, I used
to go to therapy and mytherapist would always start off
with a check-in and she wouldsay like, did, like how is your
hygiene, how is your dentalhygiene, how is this?
And I was, like I asked her oneday, like why do you ask me
these questions?
Like do I stink?
And she was like no, emily,she's like people who come in
here and who are depressed.
Sometimes, like you don'trealize that you stopped taking
(09:32):
care of your health, like yourphysical health, your emotional
health, and like sometimes, likethose things just fall through
and like I need to make sure,like I'm making sure that, like
you are aware that, like you'rewinning because, guess what,
you're telling me that you tooka shower this morning and that
you brushed your teeth thismorning, so like I'm really
proud of you.
And I like sat there and Ithought about it for a second
and I was like she's right whenI didn't feel good about myself,
(09:56):
like I didn't, like I letmyself go with weight, with my
like my hygiene, with myskincare, like all the things,
and so I didn't think about ituntil she like was like no, duh.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I know Well, and it's so crazy because those are
things that, like, we just don'tthink about, because after you
know like five or six, like itjust becomes part of your daily
pattern.
But, whenever you're in, youknow, like whenever you're in
that fight or flight or that youknow depressive state, you're
not thinking about all of thosethings and you, you know, you
stop doing all your usual things.
And you know.
(10:31):
So it is huge, like literally,if all you did was get out of
bed today.
Awesome, awesome.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
That's it, like, literally, if all you did was
get out of bed today, awesome,awesome, that's it.
You know, I totally agree withthat I love that so much.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Yeah, I do too.
So, yeah, so, but your style,or like what you kind of focus
on with coaching.
What I love about it is it'snot just your traditional like
coaching, it's like helpingwomen to kind of see their
potential, so kind of see whatis actually out there waiting
for them.
All they have to do is justlike receive it.
(11:02):
But I'd love for you to kind ofwalk us through like what does
a session, you know, feel likewith you?
And I'm sure everyone isdifferent and everything is
unique, but you know, maybe arethere certain things that you do
with every session or yeah,absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
So I always start off my sessions, so my coaching
sessions are the same.
So I have with my packages thatI do.
I do coaching sessions and I domeditation because I really
believe that, like when we'redoing coaching, a lot of the
things will come up through ourmeditation process.
So we do coaching and thenmeditation each week.
(11:37):
So we'll meet twice a week andbut for our coaching sessions
they always are the same, likeour very first one.
It's a connection call.
I figure out, like what yourbiggest goals are in life.
Like I want to know the top ofthe top goals that you have.
And like sometimes there arethings like I just want to be
healed, like I just want to behappy, I don't want to be mad
anymore.
Or like sometimes there arethings like I want to, you know,
(12:01):
earn a million dollars thisyear and I'm like, okay, let's
figure out how we're going to dothat, and then we break it down
.
So then I give them all right.
What are reasonable actionsteps that we can do?
Like what is like we're notgoing to wake up tomorrow and
we're going to have a milliondollars in our bank account, but
what does the version of you.
That and this is where we getinto the manifesting is I teach
(12:23):
people how to own that versionof a millionaire and see
themselves as that person.
So literally step into the sideof that body and say what does
this person sound like?
What do they say?
Like, what kind ofconversations do they have at
dinner?
What kind of friends do theyhave around them?
So if you want to be amillionaire like, do you still
(12:46):
shop at 7-Eleven to get yourSlurpees every day?
Or do you want to go over and,you know, maybe get a fancy
drink with your girlfriends, youknow somewhere else, and like,
so you want to go out and youwant to meet people and you want
to do all these things, if youwant to be healed, you're not
going to stay inside and stayunder the covers, because that's
not what the healed version ofyou does.
(13:09):
The healed version of you goesoutside, they sit in the grass,
they connect with earth.
I'm very big on connecting withearth.
I'm very big on like going andgrounding yourself and like
collecting energy from the moon.
And so I always tell my clients, like, if you're struggling
with depression, like, gooutside and look at the moon,
because nobody can look at themoon and not smile.
(13:31):
It's so beautiful and it's sopowerful, like it's so powerful
and you just get, so you canabsorb so much, just like
natural healing from that moon'senergy and so, um, but each one
of my sessions, like we go intovisualization techniques, we,
we, I like we'll have them sitand think about, like, what does
(13:53):
this person do on a daily basis?
Okay, now, this is what you'regoing to do tomorrow.
You're going to wake up at five30 and you're going to do your
affirmations and you're going tojournal for 15 minutes and
you're going to meditate for 15minutes.
Because that's what a healedperson does is they get up in
the morning and they do all thethings that help them and that
make them feel fulfilled, and Ikind of just give them like
(14:15):
those little tools to just helpthem love themselves a little
bit more.
So, like I can create skincareroutines for people, which is
mainly just like just go washyour face, like if you've never
washed your face before go washyour face, go go to CVS and find
like a really great likecleanser and moisturizer, and
your life will be completelyforever changed.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Right Moisturizer.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, I know, I love that Because I just think that
again, you know, sometimespeople don't understand, you
know, and I I will say, man, ifyou had talked to me, maybe even
three years ago, I wouldn'thave understood what you were
just saying.
But because I've continued downthis path, I now can hear those
(15:03):
words and I'm like, oh, I nowpicture myself, you know, in my
house, on the beach that I knowI'm going to have, and I feel
grateful, I feel gratitude.
I can picture myself standingthere next to, you know, next to
my husband, and I can see thesun shining on me and you know I
can see you know, the beach andthe ocean, like I can see all
(15:24):
that and I can feel thegratitude.
And then in my everyday life Itry and feel that same gratitude
and it's like just knowing, youknow that you are feeling that
feeling now and knowing thatthat's going to come.
You don't even have to worryabout how it's going to happen.
Like, and I was literally I'vealways, I'm a recovering people
(15:45):
pleaser, recovering, you know,control freak.
So, yeah, so I learned all ofthat through my divorce as well.
That was super fun.
But, you know, as I've gone onthis health journey, you know,
in the spiritual journey and allof that, like you know, it's
been really cool to now be like,oh, that's what they meant.
So when you were like, oh, myGod, I get it, I know what
(16:07):
you're saying.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's so funny because , like so many people right now,
they're like they're triggeredby like the things that I have
to say because they're nothealed, and like that's okay.
Like you can be triggered, youcan feel frustrated about it and
like you can have like your ownopinions about it, but like I,
I do feel like I know where you,like where you came from, like
I I've been divorced, like I getit and like it was really hard
(16:30):
and you think that you're gonnabe with somebody forever.
But like things do get easierand like you do move through it
and like it's part of your pastthat is either super important
to you or it's something thatyou can like pocket away and say
like OK, that happened and I'mOK with that happening and I
feel completely at peace withwhat happened and I can forgive
(16:53):
myself and I can forgive themand I can move on.
And then you don't have to likethink about it anymore and it's
so much nicer to like I haveforgiven myself, I have forgiven
this person and I can just packit, this away and not have to
stress about it, like it's notdwelling on me, it's not
creating a negative aura aroundme, because I feel like once you
(17:14):
like bring it up and like keeptalking about it and keep having
like that negative emotiontowards whatever feeling it is,
then it's just it's not going togo away.
So you have to like accept andacknowledge and so I do work
with my clients on that too.
Like sometimes you know they'restruggling with like that self
doubt and I'm saying like okay,but you're, you know, you you've
(17:35):
got this.
Like you you tell me all thetime like these are the things
that you want, these are thethings that you've got.
Like you're setting all thesegoals.
Like you can do this, like lookat all, the look at all the
goals that we have achievedalready and those are your small
goals, but they're still goalsand like there's still wins.
So like if it's worthcelebrating, then it's worth
(17:58):
like remembering and having thatlike excitement about it.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, well, and I love that because it reminds me
of a book I listened to recentlycalled the Gap in the Game by
Dan Sullivan, and so I don'tknow if you've listened to that
one or read it, but it's reallygeared more towards business.
But I have found that itactually makes so much sense to
an everyday life because it'struly thinking about the gap in
(18:23):
the game thinking.
So the game thinking is lookingback, like what you just said.
You're looking back on all thethings you've already done and
you're like, holy crap, look howfar I've come.
Like, yeah, you know, soexcited.
But gap thinking, you're onlylooking at what you're lacking.
You're only like, well, yeah,but I'm not, you know, I don't
have a million dollars in mybank account, I don't have my
(18:44):
beach house, I don't have, youknow, and it's like, okay, cool.
But let's look back, like overthe last, you know, even the
last three months, what have youdone that has moved you closer
to it?
Like you know?
So, like, when you focus on thegain, so you focus on the
positive, then it allows you tolike move forward, whereas if
you stay in that lack mentalityor, you know, only focus on what
(19:05):
you don't have, yet it's goingto keep you stuck.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, absolutely.
And that is like, excuse me,one of the biggest things with
manifesting.
And I was actually listening toMel Robbins yesterday in one of
her books and she hadspecifically said what exactly,
word for word, not word for word, but like very specifically
what you just said.
Like when you think about thelack of things, like you're
always going to have lack thenand you're never going to look
(19:30):
at what you've already come,like how much you've already
grown.
And so when I teach manifesting, I teach that like we're not
hoping for things, we're notwishing for things, because when
you're wishing and you'rehoping, you're still focusing on
lack.
And when you're saying I am,those words after I am are the
most powerful statements.
(19:50):
So I am healed, I am a businessowner, I am happy, I am alive.
Like those words are sopowerful because they are true
statements to who you are.
And so if you're saying like,oh, I hope to be happy, then
you're now saying I'm not happyright now, but I hope to be
happy one day.
So if I carry around thatenergy, I'm still carrying
(20:12):
around the energy that I'mlacking something, instead of
saying like I am happy and I'mgoing to stay happy.
I'm always something, instead ofsaying like I am happy and I'm
going to stay happy, I'm alwayshappy Like I am so happy, and so
like when you, you, just youcome off with a better and more
positive energy, and like whenyou put out positive energy in
the world, you open up and youattract positive energy.
(20:33):
So like, of course we haveconnected because your vibration
is positive and my vibration ispositive, so we connected that
way.
But you know, if I was carryingaround this like lack, you'd be
like oh, we're not, we're notthe same.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
We're not on the same Right, I know.
And what's interesting to me toois, as I've really leaned more
into, you know, the woo worldand really like leaned into the
spiritual journey, I have foundthat it's so much easier now,
like I just, and my life isn'teasy.
I'm not saying that I don't haveany difficulties or any issues
(21:11):
by any stretch of the means, butyou know, it's like I I have an
issue and then I'm like, okay,well, that sucks, all right,
well, how are we going to fixthat?
You know, and it's just like,instead of sticking there, like,
oh, my car broke down and mykids wrecked it, and you know,
just like all the differentthings, like you know, instead
of staying in that, it's morelike, okay, well, that sucks,
(21:32):
let's fix it, let's move on, youknow, and just like staying
that positive.
And then it's the same, as youknow, like what you put out
there, you're going to get back.
So you know, whenever you'relike man, that person's so lucky
, well, I mean, maybe there's alittle bit of luck in there, but
really what it is is they'rejust staying positive and so if
they're putting positivity outinto the world, they're getting
(21:52):
positive things back.
When you're in a shitty mood allthe time.
You're going to get shittythings back Like that's just how
this works Like yeah,absolutely, I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
And like you can, like it is.
I've like like let people outof my life because they were
just a ball of negativity andI'm like listen, like I cannot
listen to you anymore, likecomplain about your life and how
miserable you are, when likeyou're not wanting to change it,
like I really want to help youbut like I can't just be your
(22:23):
backboard all the time.
You know like you have to makethose changes If you want to, if
you want to change, if you wantthings to change, then like you
have to change.
And that is like another thingwe talk about in manifesting is
that like you can't just saylike I am this and then don't do
anything.
You have to have action behindit.
You have to have action behindeverything.
If you say like I am healed orI am happy, and then you go and
(22:46):
cry into like a bowl of Jim andwhat Ben and Jerry's ice cream
Cause you're sad, then likeyou're just going to lie to
yourself.
But if you're happy and then yougo do things that like happy
people are doing and like whenyou're happy, like what do you
do when you're happy?
You go outside, you read a book.
You do art, like you dowhatever, like whatever fills
(23:07):
your cup is what you do rightnow.
Mine is yoga.
I'm like so into yoga and Ilove that.
Yeah, it's like I literallylost 25 pounds this year by like
completely changing my workoutregimen and like going from
lifting to like being gentle onmy body.
Yeah, and I feel so much better.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Well, and I think that's so huge because I, um,
I've been working with a coachthat has been helping me, um, to
figure out an intuitive routineversus just like you know cause
, like when I, at the beginningof the year, I was like, ooh,
I'm going to do, I didn't wantto do a 75 hard but, I was like
I'll create a 75 soft and like,you know, and I'll just create
(23:53):
this.
And she was like okay, but doyou think that's sustainable?
And I was like, huh, yeah, no,I normally I'm like I'm going to
do this, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to do a whole 30 and
I'm going to drink a gallon ofwater.
And I'm going to, you know,like, do, like, I'm going to
work out every day, you know,for an hour, and I'm going to do
that, like, and I set all theseunrealistic expectations and
then I burned myself out andthen I just quit all of them and
(24:15):
instead, this year, one of thebig things I really wanted to
get in the habit of wasmeditation, because and I want
to do every single day, becauseI know that that helps me feel
better.
And so now I'm at 40 days in arow of of um meditating.
I didn't say manifesting, and Iwas like Nope, I mean I am
(24:39):
through my meditation, but.
But you know, so it's reallycool.
And so I have this one that'slike a high frequency, you know,
raises your frequency ummeditation, it's literally seven
minutes, but every morning I doit and I can tell when I don't
do it.
I'm like, Ooh, yeah, I need todo that, you know, and so, but
I'm not so strict about like ithas to be the very first thing I
do when I first wake up.
(24:59):
You know, I'm like I just needto do it.
And now it's become a habit.
And then I started, you know,like walking my dogs, and you
know, now I've done it like five, like five days a week for two
weeks now, and so I'm like, okay, like I'm going to, you know,
do that for a couple more weeks,make sure that's still a habit.
So like kind of habit stackingand like, okay, what's the next
one?
And so I love that you said tobe gentle, because I think a lot
(25:21):
of times, especially as women,we look at social media and no
matter how old we are, like Ihave to remind myself all the
time like Sarah, you're 46, likethey're 20, relax, they're 20.
And of course they can do thatlike crazy gymnastics routine to
be able to do that too.
But you can't now, and that'sokay.
(25:42):
Like again, you're 46.
Like, so just let it go.
But again, I just think that Iwas always trying to like I had
always been a gymnast or aswimmer and I'd always lifted
heavy and I'd always done likeall these things that you know.
I thought that I had to do thatand I love that.
You just said that you used tolift heavy and now you're like
I'm going to be gentle in mybody and you're getting the
(26:03):
results that you wanted, and soI think it speaks a lot to,
instead of pushing something ordoing what you think you have to
or what the 20 year oldinfluencer is doing on you know
TikTok, instead you're listeningto your body, you're doing
following intuition and you knowyou're seeing the results.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, absolutely, cause like when I was in the
military, I was a really heavylifter and I was really strong
and I absolutely loved it.
I had like great legs, greatbody.
I was super pumped about it.
And then, after I had my secondkid, I like really didn't feel
like I didn't want to do thatanymore.
I was like I don't want to liftheavy, I don't want to do this,
and so I really just likedidn't know what to do, cause
(26:42):
that's like all I knew how to dowas like I did all the beach
body works out workouts.
I did like the hard ones.
I did the 75 hard before I likeI did all of that and I didn't
want to do it again because Iwasn't there anymore.
I wasn't trying to be that inmy fitness era anymore.
I wanted to be gentle withmyself and I felt like I can't
(27:04):
be hard on my body and gentle onmy mind.
I don't know why that, just forme, that didn't seem like it
was going to work.
So I felt like if I'm going tobe gentle in my mind, I'm going
to be gentle on my body.
And I did that and I said I'mgoing to be.
I became a vegetarian at thebeginning of this year too,
because I realized that meat wasmaking my body really inflamed,
(27:25):
and so I listened to my bodyand I said, okay, my, you know,
my partner is a vegetarian andshe's been doing this for a very
long time and has had greatresults with it.
I am going to try it.
And so once I did that, I feltsignificantly better and I'm
like what are we?
I'm three months, three and ahalf months, in now to being a
(27:49):
vegetarian, which is something Inever thought I would do, and
it was a way for me to be moregentle on myself.
And I think that, that, like I,I think men listen to um so many
, uh, like hard ass people, likethey hear all the time that,
like you have to like thingshave to suck in order for you to
(28:09):
like get all the time.
That, like you have to likethings have to suck in order for
you to like get to the thingsthat you want in life, or like
you have to suffer in order tobe happy.
And I don't believe that Like,I do believe that, like you can
be happy and like be gentle withyourself and gentle with your
mind, and like gentle with thosearound you Because, like, if
you don't love yourself and likeyou're not going to teach other
people how to love and you'renot going to be approachable and
(28:31):
you're not going to be genuine,and so, like, just be kind and
like be gentle on yourself andyou'll see the results.
Because everybody has that likeinner child that just wants to
be, like feel like they're doingsomething right.
And so when you're like losing apound or two just from doing
yoga and being gentle and you'relike I'm going to keep doing
(28:52):
that, like I guarantee you Icould have lost the same amount
of weight the same amount oftime, had the same body
structure doing I know Iwouldn't have the same body
structure, but I would be in adifferent physique than I am now
If I.
What?
If I decided like I am going togo do lifting, but I don't want
to do that.
Like I didn't want to do that,I don't want to go out and run.
If I'm getting like good andpositive results with my mind
(29:13):
and my body while I'm doing yoga, that's what I'm going to do.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yeah, and I think that's so huge because, again, I
think that and I loved yourcomparison for men and women
because I think that you know,especially like anyone kind of
in my age group, because I thinkyou're probably significantly
younger than me- Not that muchyounger.
But, like we were raised in thehustle culture, like, and you
(29:39):
have to, you have to grind,grind, grind, like, or you're
nothing's going to happen.
And you know, if you everlistened to people like Grant
Cardone or you know anyone thatkind of sounds like him, it's
just like, oh, it's balls to thewall all the time, like there
is no rest, like if you're goingto be a millionaire, you have
to do this and you have to be upat 5am and blah, you know, and
it's like whoa, okay.
(30:01):
Like you know, and if yousubscribe to that and if that
works for you, great.
I am not going to tell you that.
You know that my is the rightway.
That's fine.
If hustle culture works for you, do it For me.
I'm done with hustle culture,like I am done trying to force
everything.
I'm done trying to hustle,hustle, hustle.
And now, like you know, ifthere's a day that I feel like
(30:23):
I'm depleted and I want to takea nap, I allow myself to take a
nap without the guilt yes, Iused to take a nap but then I'd
feel guilty Like oh man, if myhusband comes home.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
I'm so lazy.
Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, I'm lazy.
And if my husband comes homeand he sees that I'm taking a
nap, he's going to think I'mlazy.
And, you know, my kids aregoing to think I'm lazy.
And now I'm just like nope.
You know, if I'm honoring that,I'm then going to be able to
(30:58):
give from a full cup instead ofan empty cup and I actually have
much more.
Like I've had so many moredownloads and ideas come to me
since I've really embraced thisliving with ease versus hustle
culture.
Like it's insane to me, like Iwill never go back to hustle
culture.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, and like I was in hustle culture, I feel like
for maybe.
So I got my certification inDecember and but like, but I
think August, like even before Igot my certification like I was
getting paid clients but I wasgetting like maybe one or two.
Since I've gotten mycertification and decided like
to be like gently, like do likethis gentle life for myself and
like really hone in on, like myskills, I've gotten so much more
(31:40):
.
I've gotten so many morefollowers on like social media
platforms I've got I feel likeI'm so much more genuine with
myself and people want somebodyand they're going to listen to
somebody who's going to beauthentic and who's going to
like talk to them like they're ahuman, instead of just saying
like what you're doing is wrongright now and you're going to
suck regardless.
(32:01):
So why don't you just suck alittle bit less today and you're
going to get better tomorrow?
Like I don't want that.
I don't want somebody.
Like I don't know about you,but me I'm triggered when
someone screams at me, so likemaybe that makes me soft, but
like I don't care, cause I feellike really happy and we're
really good with where I am inmy life.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, I love that you should be so proud of yourself,
because that is like I mean,that's huge Like to know that.
I mean I always knew I couldn'tgo into the military, because I
get triggered too when peopleyell at me and I was like
there's no way I would even makeit through bootcamp.
Speaker 2 (32:36):
People.
They don't yell at you, theyjust like, say like silly things
and you're just like.
I just laugh, like I'm reallygood at being like, but like, if
you like yell at me like youknow what I mean.
Like David Goggins is like veryintimidating man, like I don't
think I could handle him yellingat me to do five more push-ups.
Like I just don't think I guyslike you want me to do five more
(32:57):
push-ups.
I will, but not if you yell atme like that.
Yeah, like I'm not gonna do itnow.
I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I totally agree.
Um, so if someone listening tothis, um, you know, is because I
love that, I love that thisconversation just kind of
organically came, this, you know, is because I love that, I love
that this conversation justkind of organically came about
and, you know, we were able toreally, just, you know, kind of
highlight that you're, you know,a real person and you've done
the work, so you understandwhere people are coming from.
(33:25):
You know, if someone listeningto this is like holy shit, I
need Emily in my life, well, howwould they like get a hold of
you and how would they get tostart to work with you?
Like what would that look like?
Speaker 2 (33:36):
So I use my phone a lot, so is it okay if I like
give my personal phone numberout?
Speaker 1 (33:42):
You can do whatever you want, and I will always put
everything that you say in theshow notes, so that way, if
someone's listening to this inthe car and they're like crap, I
can't write that down or Ican't remember the number, it's
always going to be there.
So any way that you want peopleto reach out to you is
perfectly fine.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
Okay, yeah, so like if you text me and you say like
hey, I heard you on this podcast, like we can talk that way, we
can connect that way.
I also have a Facebook page.
If you just type Emily Phillips, like I have, I think I'll
probably be like one of many,but it's a meditation picture of
me.
And then I also have anInstagram page and it's meditate
(34:17):
with me, I think.
Let me look really quickly.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Yeah, it's all good.
I know I'm the same way.
I'm like I know I have socials,but what are my handles?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
So my Instagram handle is meditatewithemily, so
if you find me on Instagram andyou wanna send me a message,
like I send out.
One of the best things abouttexting me, though, is that
you'll automatically getenrolled in my affirmations, and
, like Sarah, you know, myaffirmations are great, so I
send daily affirmations, everysingle day, to all my friends
(34:48):
and family and clients, and ifyou don't want them, then that's
fine, but you're going to getthem if you send me a text
message.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
I love it, honestly, like because we started talking.
You know I had met you atBeauty Boost event and you know
you were speaking and there wasjust like I just felt connected
to you, just even from yourconversation, and I was like, oh
, I want to talk to her more andI want to get her on the
podcast, and so, like weconnected, you know, via email,
and then we started texting andthen all of a sudden, I got your
(35:17):
daily affirmations and holyshit, Like I have told so many
people, like they are lifechanging and they are so spot on
, Like everything that you say.
I'm like oh, how did she know?
I needed to hear that today.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
That makes me so happy because you're not the and
that's the best part, too islike you're not the only person
that has told me that, like myson's daycare teacher, I send
them to her every morning andlike she is like Emily every
single day.
These hits so spot on and I'mlike thank you, and I I write
them to my husband, like I writethem to my husband every day
and I tell him I'm like I feel,like I genuinely feel them, like
(35:52):
these are all the ones thatlike I, I feel and I use and I
just want people to feel likethe, the feelings that I feel,
because I feel so happy and soempowered that I want to like
empower others and he, like bothof my partners, are just like
the best people to like empower,because then we're all going to
thrive.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, no, I totally agree, and I think that's so
amazing.
Um, you know that you have thatgift and that you share that
gift so easily, you know, withpeople, and I just think that
you know you've obviouslystepped into exactly what you
were meant to do and I love thatjourney for you and I love this
so much for you.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Thank you so much.
I really feel like that too.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Good yeah, Good Well, thank you so much for taking
time out of your day.
I know you're super busy withthree little ones.
You know like a thrivingbusiness and everything, but I
really appreciate you taking thetime to come on here and talk.
Like I said, I'll have all ofyour information in the show
notes so that that way anyonelistening that wants to work
with you can find you and, ifnothing else, text her so you
(36:59):
get the daily affirmations.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
Yes, always text.
I love texting people on thoseaffirmations.
Speaker 1 (37:05):
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
Well.
Thanks so much for tuning in tothis week's episode.
Please make sure that you areleaving a review.
Five-star review is obviouslyvery much appreciated, but that
review is feedback, and feedbackis a gift.
Please make sure you're sharingthis with others, because that
is the greatest compliment thatyou can give Emily and myself,
(37:25):
and also make sure you arefollowing the show so you never
miss another episode.
Thanks so much and we'll seeyou next time on Thrive and
Decide.
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