The Death of Real Communication (And How to Bring It Back to Life)

I'm staring at another TEDx speaker application in my inbox. The subject line promises "A Revolutionary Idea That Will Change Everything." The email begins with "Dear TEDx Organizer" and proceeds to three paragraphs outlining how their groundbreaking concept will transform humanity.

There's just one problem.

They never looked at our website. Because if they had, they would have seen those four words right on the front page: "Do not send unsolicited applications."

We have a process. We have themes. We have specific focuses for each event. But they didn't bother to check any of that.

And I'm sitting there thinking - this isn't really about TEDx applications, is it?’

The Exhale-Only Epidemic

I'm hearing the same story everywhere. HR departments are drowning in resumes that look perfect but have nothing to do with the actual job. Sales professionals are getting LinkedIn messages from "experts" who clearly spent zero time understanding their business. Grant applications that miss entirely the foundation's focus areas.

Everyone's blaming AI. "People are getting lazy," they say. "These tools are making communication worse."

But here's what I think is really happening: AI didn't break communication. It just exposed that we were never really communicating in the first place.

How AI Revealed the Truth

Here's exactly how this exposure happened:

Before AI, when people sent generic, self-focused messages, it still took real time and effort. Even a bad cover letter required someone to sit down, think about what to write, and actually type it out. The volume was naturally limited by human effort.

Now someone can take a job posting, paste it into ChatGPT, and generate fifty "perfect" applications in an hour. The same selfish approach - "what do I want to say?" - but now on a massive scale.

AI didn't create this problem. It made thoughtless communication cheap and easy on an industrial scale.

The pattern became impossible to ignore. When HR departments suddenly get 500 applications instead of 10, and they're all using similar AI-generated phrasing, you realize how little actual thought went into each one.

And here's the kicker - the few people who actually took time to understand the role and the company suddenly stand out like spotlights in a dark field.

We were always this selfish in our communication. We couldn't afford to be this lazy about it before.

A friend of mine calls it "exhale-only" communication. We're so focused on what we want to say, what we need, what's in it for us, that we don't stop for even a millisecond to understand what the other person actually needs.

AI just made it easier to do what we were already doing - talking at people instead of with people.

The Efficiency Delusion

Here's what really gets me about this whole situation: we've convinced ourselves that sending a hundred bad messages is better than sending five good ones. We call it "efficiency."

That's not efficiency. That's delusion.

While You're Looking for Shortcuts, Others Are Winning

You know what's happening while everyone's searching for the perfect AI prompt to generate their outreach?

The people who actually get the jobs, land the speaking opportunities, and close the deals - they're still doing the work. They're reading the websites. Understanding the companies. Crafting messages that actually connect to what people need.

While everyone else is hitting "generate" and "send," these people are thinking. And guess what? They're winning.

The Framework That Changes Everything

About twenty years ago, a guy named Andy Blum taught me a five-point communication framework that I still use today. It's simple, but it forces you to flip your entire approach:

* What is the goal of your communication?

* What's your strategy?

* What's in it for your audience?

* What's required of your audience?

* What happens next?

Let me show you how this works in practice.

Say you want to speak at a TEDx event:

Your goal? Get the organizer actually to consider your application.

Your strategy? Instead of another email they'll ignore, send a 90-second video.

What's in it for them? They get something different. Something that won't end up in their "read later" pile that never gets read.

What's required of them? Just watch. That's it.

What's next? They might actually reach out and say, "Hey, let's talk."

The Story Solution

But here's the second part that makes this really powerful: Start with a story.

Not a pitch. Not a list of your accomplishments. A story.

For