November 18, 2024 • 22 mins
What if the key to unlocking a rich tapestry of human connection lies in embracing your inner introvert through travel? Join us as I recount my personal journey from a guarded heart, shaped by a childhood move from Southern California to Northern Utah, to the liberating world of luxury travel where I broke free from my shell. Learn how navigating the discomfort of social interactions, whether with chatty Uber drivers or fellow passengers on a plane, became a catalyst for growth and a means to improve family dynamics.
Discover the transformative power of travel and self-discovery, especially for introverts like myself. Through tales of teaching others to travel affordably and the healing that comes from truly listening to my wife’s challenging past, we explore the essence of human connection versus the dangers of isolation. This episode promises insights into overcoming personal fears, the balance of joy and financial success, and how the journey to a more fulfilling life often begins with the courage to step outside your comfort zone. Whether introverted or extroverted, the lessons of connection and healing through travel await you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
I don't like to travel.
I mean, I don't like to travelwhen I have to talk to other
people.
It's something that's come from.
(00:52):
It comes from inside of mebecause, believe it or not, even
though you've listened to thispodcast as long as you have or
maybe this is your first episodeI'm naturally an introvert.
I'm not one who talks to theUber driver, for example.
I'm not one that talks to theguy next to me on a plane.
You know the type, the ones whosit down in their seat and
(01:15):
immediately they put theheadphones on their head.
I want to talk to you, I wantto talk to you, and then you get
the people who are on a plane.
You can't wait to talk tosomebody.
Boy, that is not me.
Boy, that is not me.
A lot of this, I think, isrooted in my somewhat fear of
(01:38):
people.
I don't know how people aregoing to react.
I don't know how people aregoing to react.
You know, some of this can alsocome from, some of this could
also come from my well, I mean,I just it comes rooted in a
(01:59):
place where people have.
If I don't have my heart open,I don't know, I'm afraid of what
they'll do to my heart and I'malso not able to feel them out
either.
And so there's this, there'sthis strong fear of people
because I, I just don't know.
I just don't know what they'regoing to say.
So let me tell you a story frommy life.
(02:20):
I, um, I moved when I was 11years old, after, after my
parents got divorced.
We moved to Northern Utah fromSouthern California.
We moved from SouthernCalifornia to Northern Utah.
Of course, it's a wholedifferent environment and a
whole different climate.
I was in the Mojave Desert andthen I moved to a place where
this white stuff fell from thesky, which I wholeheartedly hate
(02:45):
, by the way.
That's why I don't live thereanymore.
But but anyways, the peoplewere different, the culture was
different.
It was just a different type ofenvironment.
Because I was a child of adivorce, my mom was not home a
lot, she had to work, and so,with my dad in Southern
California still, and my motherworking full time and going to
(03:08):
school full time at one point,it was a double whammy For her.
It was really hard For us askids.
It was hard for us too, justnot in the same way.
A lot of the time I had to walkhome from school Now, school
was not close.
Home from school Now, schoolwas not close, and I mean I was.
So we were in the area where,where that I could certainly
(03:32):
take a bus home and I did a lotof the times.
But I liked I like toparticipate in extracurricular
activities that were afterschool, and they did have a bus,
one bus for people who were inthis extracurricular area, but
this one bus where normally it'dbe like six buses to take you
around, everybody around, totheir various places after
(03:54):
school this is one bus for theentire town that was in, and so
it didn't get close to my house.
They dropped me off, probablystill a good mile away, if not
longer.
I can't really think of howlong it was.
So I walked from there all theway home.
Now when, I believe, when youremember memories vividly.
(04:17):
Sometimes they are somethingthat really deeply affected you.
Well, I was walking my way homeone day, and I think I was in
northern Utah, in this town,Probably I would say definitely
less than a year, probably lessthan six months, so fairly fresh
off the boat, if you will.
(04:38):
Again, different culture.
I did not have any friends yet.
I left my best best friend inSouthern California.
We've been friends forever.
He lived just in the cul-de-sacI was in.
Honestly, since then I've triedto find him on Facebook, but
that's a whole separate story,but I haven't been able to
(04:59):
reconnect with him.
I don't know what's going onwith him.
We were only friends until,really, I moved, when I was
about 11 years old, but anyway.
So as I was walking home againno friends, new environment
there was a kid who bicycled upnext to me.
(05:19):
He was on a bike.
I was not.
I was walking on a bike.
I was not.
I was walking.
And he looked straight at meand he said to me you know,
you're a loser, right, he said.
He said other things too.
He called me a bunch of names Ican't remember particularly the
(05:42):
other ones right now.
But he said you know, you're aloser right Now.
It's not like kids don't getbullied all the time.
I actually do think that we'reprobably born introverts and
extroverts only because I'vewatched my own kids when they're
born.
My second child, who is myoldest daughter, has been
(06:03):
extrovert since she came out ofthe womb.
She like came out and she'slike here I am, and she hasn't
stopped doing that really.
So it's not that that made meintrovert, but it certainly made
me, along with other thingscertainly made me not want to
really Talk to people.
(06:25):
In fact, if I really look backthrough my life, I can tell you
that most of my friends weren'tfriends that I came up to and
said, hey, want to be friends orhey, you have the same
interests as me.
Never, In fact, my best friendall through high school Love
(06:48):
that kid, my best friend allthrough high school.
I found him because my olderbrother's friend Okay, so my
older brother's friend's brotheris who end up being my best
friend all through high school.
So I met him through my brotheressentially.
Maybe that's normal, I don'tknow, but it seems like I could
(07:11):
never be.
It's never easy for me to makefriends, Even in adulthood.
I can't even I can't even pickout.
I can pick out maybe one handand maybe even just one or two
fingers how many friends I havea.
I don't trust people.
Now I will tell you this thoughTravel has made it easier for
(07:39):
me to talk to people, I don'ttalk to people on planes still,
and in fact it's one of the oneof the perks besides the comfy
seats more legroom, food on theplane, that kind of stuff.
But it's certainly one of theperks of flying first class or
business class, depending ifyou're going international.
(08:00):
It's certainly one of thoseperks if you're traveling with
your spouse.
I never travel alone unlessit's for business.
So if I'm traveling forpleasure, it's either with my
spouse or a child or children.
But it's certainly a perks ofbeing in first class, because
there's rarely rarely I've neveractually personally seen it and
I need the planes I flown onyet that there'll be like three
(08:23):
or four first class or businessclass seats together is usually
just two because they're biggerseats.
Or first class or businessclass seats together is usually
just two because they're biggerseats.
But it's certainly one of theperks of flying first class with
your spouse that you don'tactually have to talk to anybody
else Generally the peoplebehind you in front of you
aren't going to talk to youeither.
And in fact, if you've everflown first class I mean none of
(08:46):
you have yet you really should.
It's lots of fun, and I don'tever pay first class prices and
I rarely pay cash, In fact Idon't.
I have never paid cash for afirst class or a business class
flight ever, ever.
(09:08):
But if you're ever flown firstclass or business class, you
notice that most people don'ttalk to each other up there.
They're in their own littleworlds Perfect for an introvert
like me.
So who?
Who?
I have a conversation with myspouse, I have a conversation
with my spouse and I absolutelylove my spouse.
(09:28):
We've become closer and closer,as I've said in previous
episodes, because we travel moretogether.
Again, I referenced an episode Irecorded a while ago about how
it's more important for you tobe closer to your spouse and
your children, because thataffects your children and so you
(09:51):
need to travel with your spouse.
You need to get out of thehouse, Anyway.
So it's one of the greatestperks I think of traveling first
class at business class.
I don't have to talk to peopleor feel obligated to do that,
but I'll tell you this If youwant to get out of your shells
to introvert, I'm getting there.
(10:11):
Even after all these years oftraveling, I'm still not there,
but I'm getting there when Istart to talk to the Uber
drivers Now.
So I actually am in Phoenixright now recording this podcast
, and one of the things theyhave in Phoenix is self-driving
(10:32):
Ubers.
Essentially they're calledWaymos, done by Google.
I'm not quite there enough tonot get an Uber.
I'll get a Waymo Because Idon't have to talk to anybody.
Still right.
But when I do get Ubers inother cities that don't have
Waymos, which they're only inlike three cities right now so
(10:53):
Phoenix just happened to be oneof them but when I do get an
Uber, I actually do sometimesactually strike up a
conversation with people.
Now, I didn't used to do that,but I had too many awkward and
they were awkward, awkward andthey were awkward.
I mean, I remember, I remembertraveling.
Um, I think I was traveling toKansas city for work.
(11:16):
Actually, it was Overland park,Kansas, in fact.
And so there is, if you don'tknow Kansas very well, you fly
into Kansas international andthen you go to Overland park.
It's about a 45 minute drive orso from the airport, Overland
Park, Kansas.
Well, I literally had an entireUber drive where I didn't even
(11:39):
say a word to the Uber driver.
Well, that's not true.
I responded to a question ortwo of his the end.
I think that has such an impacton me.
This is why you travel, becauseit forces you to have awkward
moments like that.
I have never since then hadanother Uber trip like that,
(12:00):
because that was awkward,awkward, awkward.
But and then you start to talkto people, and this is another
thing.
I've learned recently quite abit on how to tell my story, and
you notice there's a lot of mystory in a lot of these podcast
(12:20):
episodes.
But you know, what's reallyfascinating is listening to
other people's stories.
I remember, in fact, that therewas I don't think it's on
anymore, but there was this showthat was on television called
Story Trek, and it was just aguy who randomly started
knocking doors and asking themto tell their story on camera.
Very fascinating, Veryfascinating to listen where
(12:44):
people have come from, and soit's interesting to hear
people's stories.
Why are you an Uber driver?
It's not offensive, I wouldn'tsay it necessarily that way, but
if you can tell they have aheavy accent, I ask them where
they're from, how long they'vebeen in this country?
Do you like Uber driving?
(13:05):
Do you have another job?
Do you have any kids?
It's just interesting to hearpeople.
There's a mentor who once toldme that people really like to
talk about themselves quite abit.
So you know, you strike up aconversation with somebody,
they'll be able talk aboutthemselves quite a bit.
So you know you strike up aconversation with somebody,
they'll be able to tell youquite a bit about themselves.
So, again, I'm not quite therewhere I like to talk to people
(13:29):
on planes.
So I really do prefer to travelin luxury for a myriad of
reasons, but this is definitelyone of them.
But again, travels helped meeven come out of my shell and
out of my introvert shell.
You know one of them, but again, travels helped me even come
out of my shell and out of myintrovert shell.
You know, one of the coolestthings that is also part of this
that I've realized with travelis it is probably the coolest
(13:51):
thing I've ever done.
One of the coolest things I'veever done when traveling is that
I can sit in a hotel room oreven on a beach with my laptop
and literally make money whileI'm lying on the beach or
sitting in a hotel room, or evenon a beach with my laptop and
literally make money while I'mlying on the beach or sitting in
a hotel room.
Well, David, I don't want towork because I don't like what I
do.
Well, maybe that's a separateproblem that you need to deal
with.
Maybe you need to change thatstory.
(14:13):
Maybe you need to shift inunderstanding.
I've come to realize,particularly lately I've really
come to realize lately that ifyou don't enjoy what you do,
then you're just wasting yourlife anyways.
You got to enjoy what you doand the money will come, and so
I can sit on the beach and dowhat I do, because I love what I
(14:34):
do.
I love teaching people how to dowhat I've done, which is travel
for little or no cost in luxury, Because I've seen what it's
done for my family and even forme.
And then you get to hear otherpeople's stories again, because
then you start coming out ofyour shell, you start talking to
people and then that fear ofpeople which I really do have
(14:56):
still because of these otherthings that have happened in my
life People have called me namesa lot of my life.
Frankly, Some of that isbecause of I've always and I
embrace this now but I've alwaysbeen a numbers guy, very geeky
person.
This is where a lot of my stuffcomes from.
(15:19):
This is why I have people wholove what I do and help them,
you know, with the learning howto travel for little or no cost
because I'm able to use thenumbers to help them.
But but I call they, I gotcalled a whole bunch of names
geek, nerd, other things likethat, and you know, you, you get
.
I don't want to call myselfbullied because I don't want to
(15:40):
sound like a victim, because Iactually actually grateful for,
for the people who have broughtme to where, about either good
nor bad, but I certainly.
That certainly shaped me tohave a fear of people and what
they might do.
You know, I realized also beingmarried to my spouse, who has
been through quite a bit in herlife and this is not my story,
(16:03):
but her story has become mystory in the way that she has
been through a ton of things.
I mean all sorts of sexualabuse and rape and terrible
things, Terrible things that itis quite healing when you listen
to her.
So this is another thing.
As we become closer I've beenable to listen to her, more
(16:25):
Listen to her and the more Ilisten to her and she's telling
me her story or she's telling mehow she feels and it relates to
her story.
I realize, as I've talked toher and as she's relating her
story to me because she is againone person I will talk to on a
plane, of course and she tellsme how she's feeling or she's
(16:47):
telling me a part of her story,how cleansing that is for her
Just to listen to her and listento her story, but not just
listen to it haphazardly, butreally take in what she's saying
haphazardly, but really take inwhat she's saying.
And then if you take that, ifyou can take that, and then when
(17:08):
you travel and you're out withpeople and you ask them a
question, when you get to thatpoint where you feel like you
can and they start telling youtheir story and you listen to
them, that's healing for them tolisten to them, tell you.
You know as much as I fearpeople and I have, and I still
do a little bit, as I've saidI've realized that we're all
(17:29):
supposed to be connected anyways, you know we're all if we
cannot live this life inisolation and you know part of
this traveling and why it's soimportant why I believe it heals
a lot of things is because ifyou're staying in your home
constantly as your family andyou're not really doing anything
together, then you're isolating.
You're really isolatingeverybody.
(17:49):
You're isolating yourself A lotof times, isolating you
yourself as a man into a wholedifferent room.
Sometimes that's just isolation.
It's not freedom.
Right, Be free, Get out there.
Get out there.
Get out into the world.
Have you ever met anybody onthe streets also who are so
(18:12):
isolated in their own head theydon't even know where they're at
anymore?
I'm not saying that will happento you.
You know how isolating it is tohave a family that you loved and
then all of a sudden, you'reliving by yourself because you
didn't do the things that you'resupposed to do to change.
It's hard.
(18:33):
I've been through it myself.
I had to change my fear ofrejection, my fear of people, my
fear of being hurt from myspouse.
I put in the work.
She said to me I just need youto listen to me and not respond
(18:55):
and not try to fix it One daywhile she was crying on the
floor, and then she stops cryingon the floor.
This is part of my story,because sometimes she would stop
crying on the floor and thenshe stops crying on the floor.
This is part of my story,Because sometimes she would stop
crying on the floor and then Iwent right back to the person I
was.
I didn't make a change, I wasjust okay, good, that's over,
(19:15):
let's move on with our lives.
I will tell you from experience.
Then you just end up in thesame place again.
Then you just end up in thesame place again and you're
expecting her to change when youhaven't even bothered, saying
maybe I need to.
Effort breeds effort.
If you're going to put effortinto the marriage, if you're
(19:35):
going to put effort into themarriage to change, then she
will put in some effort too.
Maybe not as much as you atfirst.
Maybe you're saying my spousewill never put in that effort.
I don't believe that, BecauseI've seen it in my life.
I put in.
My wife has always put a lot ofeffort in, so I don't know the
situation you're in, but becauseshe kept putting effort in and
(19:57):
she kept putting effort in, Ieventually put my effort in and
then she put more effort in andthen we grew together and a lot
of this effort I'm telling youhappened while we traveled.
We were isolated in hotel roomstogether so we had to talk to
each other On planes together,we had to talk to each other and
(20:20):
we had some wonderfulconversations.
I remember in Hawaii, one daywe were in this hotel room and
we had some very deepconversations and I'm not saying
it was that moment in thathotel.
I think it's a myriad ofmoments that brought us together
(20:41):
where we don't talk aboutparallel marriage or anything
like that anymore.
We talk about how excited weare to go to the next trip, a
lot of the times together orwith the family or with the kids
, Because if your fear of peoplegoes run so deep that you fear
your spouse, where does that getyou?
(21:06):
I had to overcome that.
I had to overcome that bylistening and being vulnerable
and I did that.
I already told you the storyOne of those times.
I did that and how I actuallytraveling really helped me,
Because then, if you're awayfrom work and you're out and
travel, it's easier for you toopen up.
That's what happened in thathotel room in Hawaii.
I opened up.
That's what happened in thathotel room in Hawaii.
(21:27):
I opened up and it camenaturally.
I didn't have to say, okay,well, I better open up.
It came naturally.
So your fear of people cannotextend to your spouse and if it
does right now, I'm telling you,get away with her, Because I'm
telling you right now thattravel is much cheaper than
(21:50):
divorce you have been listeningto.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorcewith David Packer.
Please let us know what youthink about this episode or any
other comments you might have,by visiting our website at
wwwtravelpointdadcom.
Please join us for our nextepisode, where we continue to
(22:13):
explore how travel can helpbring your family together.
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
I don't like to travel.
I mean, I don't like to travelwhen I have to talk to other
people.
It's something that's come from.
(00:52):
It comes from inside of mebecause, believe it or not, even
though you've listened to thispodcast as long as you have or
maybe this is your first episodeI'm naturally an introvert.
I'm not one who talks to theUber driver, for example.
I'm not one that talks to theguy next to me on a plane.
You know the type, the ones whosit down in their seat and
(01:15):
immediately they put theheadphones on their head.
I want to talk to you, I wantto talk to you, and then you get
the people who are on a plane.
You can't wait to talk tosomebody.
Boy, that is not me.
Boy, that is not me.
A lot of this, I think, isrooted in my somewhat fear of
(01:38):
people.
I don't know how people aregoing to react.
I don't know how people aregoing to react.
You know, some of this can alsocome from, some of this could
also come from my well, I mean,I just it comes rooted in a
(01:59):
place where people have.
If I don't have my heart open,I don't know, I'm afraid of what
they'll do to my heart and I'malso not able to feel them out
either.
And so there's this, there'sthis strong fear of people
because I, I just don't know.
I just don't know what they'regoing to say.
So let me tell you a story frommy life.
(02:20):
I, um, I moved when I was 11years old, after, after my
parents got divorced.
We moved to Northern Utah fromSouthern California.
We moved from SouthernCalifornia to Northern Utah.
Of course, it's a wholedifferent environment and a
whole different climate.
I was in the Mojave Desert andthen I moved to a place where
this white stuff fell from thesky, which I wholeheartedly hate
(02:45):
, by the way.
That's why I don't live thereanymore.
But but anyways, the peoplewere different, the culture was
different.
It was just a different type ofenvironment.
Because I was a child of adivorce, my mom was not home a
lot, she had to work, and so,with my dad in Southern
California still, and my motherworking full time and going to
(03:08):
school full time at one point,it was a double whammy For her.
It was really hard For us askids.
It was hard for us too, justnot in the same way.
A lot of the time I had to walkhome from school Now, school
was not close.
Home from school Now, schoolwas not close, and I mean I was.
So we were in the area where,where that I could certainly
(03:32):
take a bus home and I did a lotof the times.
But I liked I like toparticipate in extracurricular
activities that were afterschool, and they did have a bus,
one bus for people who were inthis extracurricular area, but
this one bus where normally it'dbe like six buses to take you
around, everybody around, totheir various places after
(03:54):
school this is one bus for theentire town that was in, and so
it didn't get close to my house.
They dropped me off, probablystill a good mile away, if not
longer.
I can't really think of howlong it was.
So I walked from there all theway home.
Now when, I believe, when youremember memories vividly.
(04:17):
Sometimes they are somethingthat really deeply affected you.
Well, I was walking my way homeone day, and I think I was in
northern Utah, in this town,Probably I would say definitely
less than a year, probably lessthan six months, so fairly fresh
off the boat, if you will.
(04:38):
Again, different culture.
I did not have any friends yet.
I left my best best friend inSouthern California.
We've been friends forever.
He lived just in the cul-de-sacI was in.
Honestly, since then I've triedto find him on Facebook, but
that's a whole separate story,but I haven't been able to
(04:59):
reconnect with him.
I don't know what's going onwith him.
We were only friends until,really, I moved, when I was
about 11 years old, but anyway.
So as I was walking home againno friends, new environment
there was a kid who bicycled upnext to me.
(05:19):
He was on a bike.
I was not.
I was walking on a bike.
I was not.
I was walking.
And he looked straight at meand he said to me you know,
you're a loser, right, he said.
He said other things too.
He called me a bunch of names Ican't remember particularly the
(05:42):
other ones right now.
But he said you know, you're aloser right Now.
It's not like kids don't getbullied all the time.
I actually do think that we'reprobably born introverts and
extroverts only because I'vewatched my own kids when they're
born.
My second child, who is myoldest daughter, has been
(06:03):
extrovert since she came out ofthe womb.
She like came out and she'slike here I am, and she hasn't
stopped doing that really.
So it's not that that made meintrovert, but it certainly made
me, along with other thingscertainly made me not want to
really Talk to people.
(06:25):
In fact, if I really look backthrough my life, I can tell you
that most of my friends weren'tfriends that I came up to and
said, hey, want to be friends orhey, you have the same
interests as me.
Never, In fact, my best friendall through high school Love
(06:48):
that kid, my best friend allthrough high school.
I found him because my olderbrother's friend Okay, so my
older brother's friend's brotheris who end up being my best
friend all through high school.
So I met him through my brotheressentially.
Maybe that's normal, I don'tknow, but it seems like I could
(07:11):
never be.
It's never easy for me to makefriends, Even in adulthood.
I can't even I can't even pickout.
I can pick out maybe one handand maybe even just one or two
fingers how many friends I havea.
I don't trust people.
Now I will tell you this thoughTravel has made it easier for
(07:39):
me to talk to people, I don'ttalk to people on planes still,
and in fact it's one of the oneof the perks besides the comfy
seats more legroom, food on theplane, that kind of stuff.
But it's certainly one of theperks of flying first class or
business class, depending ifyou're going international.
(08:00):
It's certainly one of thoseperks if you're traveling with
your spouse.
I never travel alone unlessit's for business.
So if I'm traveling forpleasure, it's either with my
spouse or a child or children.
But it's certainly a perks ofbeing in first class, because
there's rarely rarely I've neveractually personally seen it and
I need the planes I flown onyet that there'll be like three
(08:23):
or four first class or businessclass seats together is usually
just two because they're biggerseats.
Or first class or businessclass seats together is usually
just two because they're biggerseats.
But it's certainly one of theperks of flying first class with
your spouse that you don'tactually have to talk to anybody
else Generally the peoplebehind you in front of you
aren't going to talk to youeither.
And in fact, if you've everflown first class I mean none of
(08:46):
you have yet you really should.
It's lots of fun, and I don'tever pay first class prices and
I rarely pay cash, In fact Idon't.
I have never paid cash for afirst class or a business class
flight ever, ever.
(09:08):
But if you're ever flown firstclass or business class, you
notice that most people don'ttalk to each other up there.
They're in their own littleworlds Perfect for an introvert
like me.
So who?
Who?
I have a conversation with myspouse, I have a conversation
with my spouse and I absolutelylove my spouse.
(09:28):
We've become closer and closer,as I've said in previous
episodes, because we travel moretogether.
Again, I referenced an episode Irecorded a while ago about how
it's more important for you tobe closer to your spouse and
your children, because thataffects your children and so you
(09:51):
need to travel with your spouse.
You need to get out of thehouse, Anyway.
So it's one of the greatestperks I think of traveling first
class at business class.
I don't have to talk to peopleor feel obligated to do that,
but I'll tell you this If youwant to get out of your shells
to introvert, I'm getting there.
(10:11):
Even after all these years oftraveling, I'm still not there,
but I'm getting there when Istart to talk to the Uber
drivers Now.
So I actually am in Phoenixright now recording this podcast
, and one of the things theyhave in Phoenix is self-driving
(10:32):
Ubers.
Essentially they're calledWaymos, done by Google.
I'm not quite there enough tonot get an Uber.
I'll get a Waymo Because Idon't have to talk to anybody.
Still right.
But when I do get Ubers inother cities that don't have
Waymos, which they're only inlike three cities right now so
(10:53):
Phoenix just happened to be oneof them but when I do get an
Uber, I actually do sometimesactually strike up a
conversation with people.
Now, I didn't used to do that,but I had too many awkward and
they were awkward, awkward andthey were awkward.
I mean, I remember, I remembertraveling.
Um, I think I was traveling toKansas city for work.
(11:16):
Actually, it was Overland park,Kansas, in fact.
And so there is, if you don'tknow Kansas very well, you fly
into Kansas international andthen you go to Overland park.
It's about a 45 minute drive orso from the airport, Overland
Park, Kansas.
Well, I literally had an entireUber drive where I didn't even
(11:39):
say a word to the Uber driver.
Well, that's not true.
I responded to a question ortwo of his the end.
I think that has such an impacton me.
This is why you travel, becauseit forces you to have awkward
moments like that.
I have never since then hadanother Uber trip like that,
(12:00):
because that was awkward,awkward, awkward.
But and then you start to talkto people, and this is another
thing.
I've learned recently quite abit on how to tell my story, and
you notice there's a lot of mystory in a lot of these podcast
(12:20):
episodes.
But you know, what's reallyfascinating is listening to
other people's stories.
I remember, in fact, that therewas I don't think it's on
anymore, but there was this showthat was on television called
Story Trek, and it was just aguy who randomly started
knocking doors and asking themto tell their story on camera.
Very fascinating, Veryfascinating to listen where
(12:44):
people have come from, and soit's interesting to hear
people's stories.
Why are you an Uber driver?
It's not offensive, I wouldn'tsay it necessarily that way, but
if you can tell they have aheavy accent, I ask them where
they're from, how long they'vebeen in this country?
Do you like Uber driving?
(13:05):
Do you have another job?
Do you have any kids?
It's just interesting to hearpeople.
There's a mentor who once toldme that people really like to
talk about themselves quite abit.
So you know, you strike up aconversation with somebody,
they'll be able talk aboutthemselves quite a bit.
So you know you strike up aconversation with somebody,
they'll be able to tell youquite a bit about themselves.
So, again, I'm not quite therewhere I like to talk to people
(13:29):
on planes.
So I really do prefer to travelin luxury for a myriad of
reasons, but this is definitelyone of them.
But again, travels helped meeven come out of my shell and
out of my introvert shell.
You know one of them, but again, travels helped me even come
out of my shell and out of myintrovert shell.
You know, one of the coolestthings that is also part of this
that I've realized with travelis it is probably the coolest
(13:51):
thing I've ever done.
One of the coolest things I'veever done when traveling is that
I can sit in a hotel room oreven on a beach with my laptop
and literally make money whileI'm lying on the beach or
sitting in a hotel room, or evenon a beach with my laptop and
literally make money while I'mlying on the beach or sitting in
a hotel room.
Well, David, I don't want towork because I don't like what I
do.
Well, maybe that's a separateproblem that you need to deal
with.
Maybe you need to change thatstory.
(14:13):
Maybe you need to shift inunderstanding.
I've come to realize,particularly lately I've really
come to realize lately that ifyou don't enjoy what you do,
then you're just wasting yourlife anyways.
You got to enjoy what you doand the money will come, and so
I can sit on the beach and dowhat I do, because I love what I
(14:34):
do.
I love teaching people how to dowhat I've done, which is travel
for little or no cost in luxury, Because I've seen what it's
done for my family and even forme.
And then you get to hear otherpeople's stories again, because
then you start coming out ofyour shell, you start talking to
people and then that fear ofpeople which I really do have
(14:56):
still because of these otherthings that have happened in my
life People have called me namesa lot of my life.
Frankly, Some of that isbecause of I've always and I
embrace this now but I've alwaysbeen a numbers guy, very geeky
person.
This is where a lot of my stuffcomes from.
(15:19):
This is why I have people wholove what I do and help them,
you know, with the learning howto travel for little or no cost
because I'm able to use thenumbers to help them.
But but I call they, I gotcalled a whole bunch of names
geek, nerd, other things likethat, and you know, you, you get
.
I don't want to call myselfbullied because I don't want to
(15:40):
sound like a victim, because Iactually actually grateful for,
for the people who have broughtme to where, about either good
nor bad, but I certainly.
That certainly shaped me tohave a fear of people and what
they might do.
You know, I realized also beingmarried to my spouse, who has
been through quite a bit in herlife and this is not my story,
(16:03):
but her story has become mystory in the way that she has
been through a ton of things.
I mean all sorts of sexualabuse and rape and terrible
things, Terrible things that itis quite healing when you listen
to her.
So this is another thing.
As we become closer I've beenable to listen to her, more
(16:25):
Listen to her and the more Ilisten to her and she's telling
me her story or she's telling mehow she feels and it relates to
her story.
I realize, as I've talked toher and as she's relating her
story to me because she is againone person I will talk to on a
plane, of course and she tellsme how she's feeling or she's
(16:47):
telling me a part of her story,how cleansing that is for her
Just to listen to her and listento her story, but not just
listen to it haphazardly, butreally take in what she's saying
haphazardly, but really take inwhat she's saying.
And then if you take that, ifyou can take that, and then when
(17:08):
you travel and you're out withpeople and you ask them a
question, when you get to thatpoint where you feel like you
can and they start telling youtheir story and you listen to
them, that's healing for them tolisten to them, tell you.
You know as much as I fearpeople and I have, and I still
do a little bit, as I've saidI've realized that we're all
(17:29):
supposed to be connected anyways, you know we're all if we
cannot live this life inisolation and you know part of
this traveling and why it's soimportant why I believe it heals
a lot of things is because ifyou're staying in your home
constantly as your family andyou're not really doing anything
together, then you're isolating.
You're really isolatingeverybody.
(17:49):
You're isolating yourself A lotof times, isolating you
yourself as a man into a wholedifferent room.
Sometimes that's just isolation.
It's not freedom.
Right, Be free, Get out there.
Get out there.
Get out into the world.
Have you ever met anybody onthe streets also who are so
(18:12):
isolated in their own head theydon't even know where they're at
anymore?
I'm not saying that will happento you.
You know how isolating it is tohave a family that you loved and
then all of a sudden, you'reliving by yourself because you
didn't do the things that you'resupposed to do to change.
It's hard.
(18:33):
I've been through it myself.
I had to change my fear ofrejection, my fear of people, my
fear of being hurt from myspouse.
I put in the work.
She said to me I just need youto listen to me and not respond
(18:55):
and not try to fix it One daywhile she was crying on the
floor, and then she stops cryingon the floor.
This is part of my story,because sometimes she would stop
crying on the floor and thenshe stops crying on the floor.
This is part of my story,Because sometimes she would stop
crying on the floor and then Iwent right back to the person I
was.
I didn't make a change, I wasjust okay, good, that's over,
(19:15):
let's move on with our lives.
I will tell you from experience.
Then you just end up in thesame place again.
Then you just end up in thesame place again and you're
expecting her to change when youhaven't even bothered, saying
maybe I need to.
Effort breeds effort.
If you're going to put effortinto the marriage, if you're
(19:35):
going to put effort into themarriage to change, then she
will put in some effort too.
Maybe not as much as you atfirst.
Maybe you're saying my spousewill never put in that effort.
I don't believe that, BecauseI've seen it in my life.
I put in.
My wife has always put a lot ofeffort in, so I don't know the
situation you're in, but becauseshe kept putting effort in and
(19:57):
she kept putting effort in, Ieventually put my effort in and
then she put more effort in andthen we grew together and a lot
of this effort I'm telling youhappened while we traveled.
We were isolated in hotel roomstogether so we had to talk to
each other On planes together,we had to talk to each other and
(20:20):
we had some wonderfulconversations.
I remember in Hawaii, one daywe were in this hotel room and
we had some very deepconversations and I'm not saying
it was that moment in thathotel.
I think it's a myriad ofmoments that brought us together
(20:41):
where we don't talk aboutparallel marriage or anything
like that anymore.
We talk about how excited weare to go to the next trip, a
lot of the times together orwith the family or with the kids
, Because if your fear of peoplegoes run so deep that you fear
your spouse, where does that getyou?
(21:06):
I had to overcome that.
I had to overcome that bylistening and being vulnerable
and I did that.
I already told you the storyOne of those times.
I did that and how I actuallytraveling really helped me,
Because then, if you're awayfrom work and you're out and
travel, it's easier for you toopen up.
That's what happened in thathotel room in Hawaii.
I opened up.
That's what happened in thathotel room in Hawaii.
(21:27):
I opened up and it camenaturally.
I didn't have to say, okay,well, I better open up.
It came naturally.
So your fear of people cannotextend to your spouse and if it
does right now, I'm telling you,get away with her, Because I'm
telling you right now thattravel is much cheaper than
(21:50):
divorce you have been listeningto.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorcewith David Packer.
Please let us know what youthink about this episode or any
other comments you might have,by visiting our website at
wwwtravelpointdadcom.
Please join us for our nextepisode, where we continue to
(22:13):
explore how travel can helpbring your family together.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.