August 23, 2024 • 20 mins
Can maintaining a healthy marriage be more challenging than divorce?
In this episode David Packer shares his personal story of navigating the pressures of work, family life, and the unique trials of being foster parents. David faced unbalanced responsibilities and a lack of communication that nearly led him and his wife into a parallel marriage—an emotionally cold coexistence that many couples face silently.
Learn how they recognized each other's stress signals, instituted regular date nights, and used travel as our secret weapon to reconnect and rejuvenate their relationship, creating a loving and supportive family environment in the process.
Discover how David's financial hardships turned into opportunities for luxurious yet affordable travel, transforming their marriage and family life. David shares how finding a system for cost-effective getaways alleviated our marital strain, allowing them to create lasting memories and strengthen their family bonds without resorting to therapy.
Tune in for practical tips on enhancing your relationship and family life through the joy and spontaneity of travel, and see how these simple changes can reshape your life and perspectives for the better.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
You know I am here to help you.
I have been through a journeyunto myself that I think that
everybody needs to go with me onthemselves.
(00:50):
There have been too many peopleI have observed in my own life
who don't know where to go.
Now what I'm talking about isfamilies.
I'm talking about men and alsowomen and really those who try
to do their best for theirchildren and their family but
(01:12):
don't seem to be able to getanywhere, doesn't speak to their
spouse anymore, except for toget the logistics done around
their children or around theirown marriage, where they don't
really have a marriage anymore.
It's more like a roommatesituation with children.
They have decided that they arenot going to have a divorce for
(01:37):
the sake of the children, sothey live in what my wife and I
call a parallel marriage, nevercrossing paths.
I speak to this because this issomething that has happened in
my life and it's something thatis fundamentally I would not
allow in my life.
I'm a child of divorce.
(01:57):
After years and years of beingin a marriage myself, I had no
idea how much that divorceaffected my family and what
really affected me as a head ofthe family, the breadwinner of
the family, and how thataffected my spouse and my whole
children.
Because of the divorce, it putme in a place where I felt like
(02:20):
I needed to control everything,including the emotions of my
spouse.
Not a possible thing, for allthose men out there Just want to
try to tell you you can'tcontrol your spouse's emotions.
You can only do what you can tohelp, guide them and lead them,
but not control them.
This all came to a head I wantto say was been over 10, 11
(02:44):
years ago.
My spouse and I were both fosterparents.
We've been foster parents atthis point probably for six
months or so, and I come homefrom work.
She's stressed out and becauseshe is stressed out and I don't
understand it, I don'tunderstand why she's so stressed
(03:06):
out.
She didn't have to go to workthat day.
I'm the one stressed out I'mthe one building a business from
scratch, I'm the one trying toprovide for this family.
In retrospect, that's such aselfish mentality, but that's
retrospect.
That wasn't the time.
But that's retrospect.
(03:28):
That wasn't the time.
We were in danger and we wereactually on the path to become a
parallel marriage, which, in myopinion actually, the more and
more I think about it is worsethan divorce.
Maybe not on the kids, because atwo-parent household is very
important.
But you don't think your kidscan feel that.
Oh, they can feel that, becauseI did, and I know my children
(03:48):
could too.
So here's where we were, and wewere dangerously close to that.
She was overly stressed.
I was too, but just indifferent manners.
Because, again in retrospect,I'm coming home to her workplace
(04:09):
and I say I want to stay in thehouse because I've been gone
all day.
Maybe you can relate to that.
That's how I felt.
But she, that's her workplace.
She was a stay-at-home mom atthe time.
Maybe your wife isn't astay-at-home mom, but what if
she comes home from her work andshe still cooks, she still does
the laundry?
Now she has two workplaces shehas the workplace where she's at
(04:33):
working and she has home whereshe also works, because she
wants to take care of you andshe wants to take care of the
kids.
So she comes to me one day,stressed out, as she normally is
because of all the things.
If anybody who's out there whohas been foster parents know
that these children come withbaggage like baggage, like over
(04:55):
the limit on an airplane baggageI mean we're talking lots of
baggage and so she was dealingwith a lot of stuff at home and
I didn't see it as much.
She told me, but I didn't seeit.
There's a difference betweenactually hearing it from your
spouse and actually seeing it.
I didn't see it as much, shetold me, but I didn't see it.
There's a difference betweenactually hearing it from your
spouse and actually seeing it,and I didn't see it.
You can call it fate, you cancall it the universe, you can
call it the Holy Spirit for me.
(05:15):
But something sparked me in thisconversation I had with her and
she said to me I just need toget out.
She wasn't talking about out ofthe house, because years and
years I mean even years beforethis, two or three years before
that we were sitting in a churchand somebody one of our leaders
(05:36):
said if you're not taking yourspouse on a date and you think
you can't afford it, I promiseyou that taking your wife on a
date night once a week ischeaper than hiring a divorce
attorney.
You notice?
That's part of what the titleof this podcast is.
It had an impact on me.
We started going on date nightsonce a week, even though at the
(05:57):
time I didn't feel like there'sno way we could afford that.
So when she came to me at thattime and said, well, you need to
get out she wasn't talkingabout out of the house I knew
what she was talking about.
She was talking about out ofthe house.
I knew what she was talkingabout.
She was talking about gettingout of the area.
She was talking about travel.
At this point in my life, Ishould also mention that when I
was young, we didn't travel alot At all.
(06:18):
Really, our traveling consistsof traveling from California to
Utah to visit relatives.
That was our travel.
Now, california is aninteresting place.
However, you can go to a beachand go to Disneyland.
So I mean, it's not like I waslacking options.
Parents did take the Sequoiaand other things like that, but
did we really get out of thearea.
No, we were always in the area.
Now the area was a lot moreabundant than some areas.
(06:42):
Again, california has a lot ofthings to explore.
We went to Sequoia NationalPark and Yosemite and other
things like that, but those wereall in the area.
She was talking about gettingout of the area.
Now I have been in the financialindustry at this not at that
point, but at this point whereI'm talking to you now for about
(07:02):
15 years.
I have a mind that works like aspreadsheet.
I'm always thinking aboutnumbers.
It feels like Budgets, numbers,whatever.
So when she tells me this, I'mlike there is no friggin way.
I don't even know how to dothat.
We don't have the money.
And who's going to watch thesekids?
And if anybody's ever been inthe foster care system, you
(07:24):
can't just hire a babysitter Towatch your foster kids.
State doesn't particularly lovethat for a myriad of reasons
and licensing and liability andother things I don't need to get
into.
But so this felt like animpossibility.
But I saw the desperation in hereyes.
I saw the desperation in hereyes and the desperation was
real.
(07:44):
So I did what I've always beengood at, I still am good at, I
feel and I researched, I got onand I just researched and
researched and researched somemore, sometimes into the late
nights because she needed me tospend time with her and the
family.
(08:04):
When am I going to do that?
When I get home?
Can I do it during my workdayAt some point in my life?
Again, at this point I'mbuilding a business and if
anybody's ever built a business,it sometimes takes 12, 13, 14
hours a day to build a business.
It's ridiculous sometimes howmany hours you have to spend at
the top of your business.
This is why it drives me insaneas a side when people say, oh,
(08:24):
business owners, they have itreal well, they only have to
work three, six hours or sevenhours.
No, I'm not sorry About like 20hours a week and everything's
right.
Yeah, after they work 60 hoursfor like four or five years,
they're reaping the benefits.
That's neither here nor there,but that's kind of life in
general.
And that's what I'm going totalk about in a way is because I
spent hours and hours inresearch, because my goal at
(08:50):
first was Googling orresearching cheap places to
travel around where we lived atthe time, and I stumbled onto
something, something I didn'texpect, but something went kind
of with my whole entirementality of spreadsheets and
numbers and all the things thatI have been my whole life.
(09:11):
I stumbled upon it Because,again, the problem with the
traveling thing at that pointwasn't that I didn't necessarily
want to do it Although therewas part of that too, because
I'm building a business hard toget away but it was really
because I didn't know how theheck we were going to afford it.
But it was really because Ididn't know how the heck we were
going to afford it.
It's interesting, even though,because I have had experiences
(09:31):
going on trips quote unquotewith my family at this point, at
that point I should say backthen where the memories were
worse than if we stayed homeBecause we traveled in the
cheapest way possible.
I'm talking back of the planeworst hotel, if you can't sleep
(09:55):
at night because your hotel bedsucks and everybody around you
is being loud and everybody yougot.
You got people who are probablydoing drugs outside your room,
whatever.
Is that traveling or is thatjust relocating into a different
spot and making things worse?
So anyways.
So I knew I didn't want totravel like that.
That just makes things worse.
And so now I'm in this spot.
I have no money I shouldn't sayno money.
(10:16):
I don't have disposable incomefor travel.
We did have a house, we hadfood on the table, so we weren't
in that bad of a situation,although I have had moments in
my life where we had none ofthat too, where we didn't know
where our next meal was going tocome from.
That has happened more than Iwould like to admit, but I'm
admitting, so that so there weare.
There we are.
(10:36):
There's where I'm sitting.
I'm trying to find the cheapestway to travel, but not the
cheapest way to travel if thatmakes sense.
I'm trying to find a cheapdestination, essentially, but
not to sit in the back of theplane.
If we were going to take aplane, depending Might have to
drive right, because planetravel is more expensive than
driving right.
No, but we will talk about thatat a different time.
(11:00):
I think, in fact I know, thatairlines are actually cheaper
than driving, sometimes Waycheaper, in fact, no cost.
That airlines are actuallycheaper than driving, sometimes
way cheaper, in fact, no cost,except for maybe like six bucks
or something, because there's a,like a government fee that's
imposed because that's where welive, but anyway.
So we got to a point where I gotto a point, I should say, where
(11:22):
I'm like OK, I got to findcheap places to travel.
So that's why I went andstarted researching.
That was the genesis of what Iwas trying to do, and then I
stumbled upon something thatagain, like I said earlier,
worked right in with my career,which worked right in with how I
(11:44):
think and also how to solve aproblem that I was actually kind
of trying to solve, but I wastrying to solve in the way that
I knew, which is trying to findcheap places to travel.
And this is the crux of it.
I found, essentially,throughout all my research, a
way to travel in luxury forlittle to no cost.
(12:08):
So let me saying that, let mejust tell you what this has done
, because I want to talk to thepeople who are struggling in
their marriage, because that'swhere I was at Long nights of my
wife crying, my children beingstressed, our whole entire
family falling apart, memoriesof the stress just essentially
(12:33):
overtaking my entire family.
Whereas I said earlier,parallel marriage was a real
possibility, possibly evendivorce.
The one thing that I feared inmy life because of what happened
to me was happening.
Part of that was also because,as I said earlier, I was trying
to control a lot, control thesituation, control her ability
(12:56):
to make that decision, in a wayand the exact opposite was
happening.
So just by her saying thatnight I need to get out, it
changed everything, everything.
Our bonds with our children arestronger and I have plenty of
stories to tell you about that.
(13:17):
My marriage with my spousestronger Not perfect, stronger,
in fact.
Another thing I could tell youis that, because of the system
that I stumbled upon andresearched for I mean years, I
mean years I'm still learning ina lot of ways, because this is
(13:39):
the kind of system, the kind ofthing that continually moves and
changes, which is what I loveabout it.
Because of the system Istumbled upon, my wife and I can
just get away into a hotelbecause we just feel like it one
day, and it could cost usliterally nothing.
Not only that, but we can getinto.
I traveled to Phoenix recently,in fact about a month ago from
(14:04):
this recording date and when Itraveled there, we stayed in a
hotel and they upgrade us to asuite for the same cost as a
regular room.
Did I just look pretty that day?
No, it had nothing to do withthat.
It has everything to do withthe things that I built around
me that allows for things likethat.
(14:25):
It allows for more room, and myspouse was with me.
We traveled together to aconference and it was an amazing
experience.
The conference was okay Justkidding, the conference was
great, but the hotel room wasgreat.
The time we spent together waswonderful.
Could that have happened in aregular room?
(14:48):
Sure, but what does it make itfeel like when you have more
room, literally?
So what I stumbled upon,ultimately, was a way to build
memories, build relationships,build your relationship with
your spouse.
I built the relationship with myspouse that I've always wanted
(15:12):
by just getting away, bytraveling.
We haven't been to therapy.
We haven't been to couplestherapy.
We haven't been to, you know,the local religious leader to
try to fix our marriage and ourfamily.
We didn't tell the kids theybetter get in line or else we
(15:32):
didn't tell the kids we have togo on all these sports
adventures.
You got to play sports so wecan get away.
By the way, that's not gettingaway.
In my experience, I've seenthis.
My brother tends to.
Well, he has.
He isn't anymore at this momenthe actually has cancer, but
before he used to go isn'tanymore at this moment he
actually has cancer but beforehe used to go travel with sports
(15:53):
all the time and that's howthey traveled.
That's them, that's fine.
I'm just saying that that isn'ttravel.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
There is travel and there'straveling I don't know pick a
term but that's not traveling.
That's not how I see traveling.
You're not building memorieswhen you're sitting on a
sideline.
It could also be an analogy forlife that you're sitting on a
sideline, but that's a differentstory.
(16:16):
But how I have felt since then,since the very moment my family
started traveling, it haschanged everything.
It has changed the way we doChristmas.
It's changed the way that welook at.
I'm always looking at the nextplace to go.
When we finish a trip, my nextthing is let's go find the next
(16:39):
place to go.
I'm not at the place now in mylife, but this is where I'd like
to get to, where I don't even Iwork, where I travel.
In other words, I take mylaptop with me and I can work on
the beach.
Because if some of you wereworking from home, why can't you
work from the beach?
Why can't you work from aluxury hotel with your family.
(17:03):
Why can't you work on a bullettrain in Japan?
Why the location's relevant ifyou're working from home and
that changes your work too, bythe way, it could make it a lot
funner.
I have worked in a lot of thedestinations my wife and I have
traveled to, but the result ofall of this all those who are
(17:24):
listening is this changedeverything in the relationship
with my family, and it can bedone with little or no cost.
Like I said before, that's whatthe biggest deal is here Is I
could actually do somethingabout it at that moment, when I
(17:44):
thought it was completelyimpossible.
It's not impossible.
So here's what I want.
Here's what I want for you, asif you were sitting in the room
right now.
I want you to have a betterrelationship with your family.
I want you to be able to getaway.
I want you to be able toexperience a world that is out
(18:07):
there, that most people don'trealize is out there.
But at the end of this episode,I want to say this there are a
couple of things I know you cando right now.
Go to your spouse, give them ahug that you may not have given
them, for you know, some peopleI know haven't given their
spouse a hug for years.
Right, give them a big hug andsay where would you like to go
(18:30):
in this world If we were to getout of this house and get out of
this area and go anywhere?
Where would that be?
Where would you want to go?
Or another thing you could dois rekindle memories from before
you married your spouse,because you had passion for each
other.
It doesn't usually happen,unless it's an arranged marriage
(18:50):
.
There's not passion there.
There's passion in yourmarriage.
There's passion in yourrelationship.
There was passion in yourrelationship at least.
Where was that passion?
Well, we traveled a lot backthen oh, what a shock.
Or we got away a lot more, wehad a lot more fun together.
We can't have that fun with thekids in the house.
Agreed, agreed, get away fromthe children.
(19:12):
So the second thing I would sayis go through your memories with
your spouse.
Then that might kindle a placewhere you could go, places you
could go, revisit places whereyou dated, because maybe you
don't live in even that areaanymore.
So my final thought, my finalthing to you, is love your
(19:36):
family, because love iseverything.
Love is literally everything,and if you feel like you've
fallen out of love.
This may be the solution foryou.
You have been listening to.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorce.
With me, your host, davidPacker, please connect with us
on our YouTube channel at TravelPoint Pros.
(19:58):
There you will learn many tipsand tricks on how to use points
and miles to travel in luxuryfor little to no cost.
Remember to like and subscribeand comment on any of the videos
that you find helpful to you.
Thank you for listening.
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
You know I am here to help you.
I have been through a journeyunto myself that I think that
everybody needs to go with me onthemselves.
(00:50):
There have been too many peopleI have observed in my own life
who don't know where to go.
Now what I'm talking about isfamilies.
I'm talking about men and alsowomen and really those who try
to do their best for theirchildren and their family but
(01:12):
don't seem to be able to getanywhere, doesn't speak to their
spouse anymore, except for toget the logistics done around
their children or around theirown marriage, where they don't
really have a marriage anymore.
It's more like a roommatesituation with children.
They have decided that they arenot going to have a divorce for
(01:37):
the sake of the children, sothey live in what my wife and I
call a parallel marriage, nevercrossing paths.
I speak to this because this issomething that has happened in
my life and it's something thatis fundamentally I would not
allow in my life.
I'm a child of divorce.
(01:57):
After years and years of beingin a marriage myself, I had no
idea how much that divorceaffected my family and what
really affected me as a head ofthe family, the breadwinner of
the family, and how thataffected my spouse and my whole
children.
Because of the divorce, it putme in a place where I felt like
(02:20):
I needed to control everything,including the emotions of my
spouse.
Not a possible thing, for allthose men out there Just want to
try to tell you you can'tcontrol your spouse's emotions.
You can only do what you can tohelp, guide them and lead them,
but not control them.
This all came to a head I wantto say was been over 10, 11
(02:44):
years ago.
My spouse and I were both fosterparents.
We've been foster parents atthis point probably for six
months or so, and I come homefrom work.
She's stressed out and becauseshe is stressed out and I don't
understand it, I don'tunderstand why she's so stressed
(03:06):
out.
She didn't have to go to workthat day.
I'm the one stressed out I'mthe one building a business from
scratch, I'm the one trying toprovide for this family.
In retrospect, that's such aselfish mentality, but that's
retrospect.
That wasn't the time.
But that's retrospect.
(03:28):
That wasn't the time.
We were in danger and we wereactually on the path to become a
parallel marriage, which, in myopinion actually, the more and
more I think about it is worsethan divorce.
Maybe not on the kids, because atwo-parent household is very
important.
But you don't think your kidscan feel that.
Oh, they can feel that, becauseI did, and I know my children
(03:48):
could too.
So here's where we were, and wewere dangerously close to that.
She was overly stressed.
I was too, but just indifferent manners.
Because, again in retrospect,I'm coming home to her workplace
(04:09):
and I say I want to stay in thehouse because I've been gone
all day.
Maybe you can relate to that.
That's how I felt.
But she, that's her workplace.
She was a stay-at-home mom atthe time.
Maybe your wife isn't astay-at-home mom, but what if
she comes home from her work andshe still cooks, she still does
the laundry?
Now she has two workplaces shehas the workplace where she's at
(04:33):
working and she has home whereshe also works, because she
wants to take care of you andshe wants to take care of the
kids.
So she comes to me one day,stressed out, as she normally is
because of all the things.
If anybody who's out there whohas been foster parents know
that these children come withbaggage like baggage, like over
(04:55):
the limit on an airplane baggageI mean we're talking lots of
baggage and so she was dealingwith a lot of stuff at home and
I didn't see it as much.
She told me, but I didn't seeit.
There's a difference betweenactually hearing it from your
spouse and actually seeing it.
I didn't see it as much, shetold me, but I didn't see it.
There's a difference betweenactually hearing it from your
spouse and actually seeing it,and I didn't see it.
You can call it fate, you cancall it the universe, you can
call it the Holy Spirit for me.
(05:15):
But something sparked me in thisconversation I had with her and
she said to me I just need toget out.
She wasn't talking about out ofthe house, because years and
years I mean even years beforethis, two or three years before
that we were sitting in a churchand somebody one of our leaders
(05:36):
said if you're not taking yourspouse on a date and you think
you can't afford it, I promiseyou that taking your wife on a
date night once a week ischeaper than hiring a divorce
attorney.
You notice?
That's part of what the titleof this podcast is.
It had an impact on me.
We started going on date nightsonce a week, even though at the
(05:57):
time I didn't feel like there'sno way we could afford that.
So when she came to me at thattime and said, well, you need to
get out she wasn't talkingabout out of the house I knew
what she was talking about.
She was talking about out ofthe house.
I knew what she was talkingabout.
She was talking about gettingout of the area.
She was talking about travel.
At this point in my life, Ishould also mention that when I
was young, we didn't travel alot At all.
(06:18):
Really, our traveling consistsof traveling from California to
Utah to visit relatives.
That was our travel.
Now, california is aninteresting place.
However, you can go to a beachand go to Disneyland.
So I mean, it's not like I waslacking options.
Parents did take the Sequoiaand other things like that, but
did we really get out of thearea.
No, we were always in the area.
Now the area was a lot moreabundant than some areas.
(06:42):
Again, california has a lot ofthings to explore.
We went to Sequoia NationalPark and Yosemite and other
things like that, but those wereall in the area.
She was talking about gettingout of the area.
Now I have been in the financialindustry at this not at that
point, but at this point whereI'm talking to you now for about
(07:02):
15 years.
I have a mind that works like aspreadsheet.
I'm always thinking aboutnumbers.
It feels like Budgets, numbers,whatever.
So when she tells me this, I'mlike there is no friggin way.
I don't even know how to dothat.
We don't have the money.
And who's going to watch thesekids?
And if anybody's ever been inthe foster care system, you
(07:24):
can't just hire a babysitter Towatch your foster kids.
State doesn't particularly lovethat for a myriad of reasons
and licensing and liability andother things I don't need to get
into.
But so this felt like animpossibility.
But I saw the desperation in hereyes.
I saw the desperation in hereyes and the desperation was
real.
(07:44):
So I did what I've always beengood at, I still am good at, I
feel and I researched, I got onand I just researched and
researched and researched somemore, sometimes into the late
nights because she needed me tospend time with her and the
family.
(08:04):
When am I going to do that?
When I get home?
Can I do it during my workdayAt some point in my life?
Again, at this point I'mbuilding a business and if
anybody's ever built a business,it sometimes takes 12, 13, 14
hours a day to build a business.
It's ridiculous sometimes howmany hours you have to spend at
the top of your business.
This is why it drives me insaneas a side when people say, oh,
(08:24):
business owners, they have itreal well, they only have to
work three, six hours or sevenhours.
No, I'm not sorry About like 20hours a week and everything's
right.
Yeah, after they work 60 hoursfor like four or five years,
they're reaping the benefits.
That's neither here nor there,but that's kind of life in
general.
And that's what I'm going totalk about in a way is because I
spent hours and hours inresearch, because my goal at
(08:50):
first was Googling orresearching cheap places to
travel around where we lived atthe time, and I stumbled onto
something, something I didn'texpect, but something went kind
of with my whole entirementality of spreadsheets and
numbers and all the things thatI have been my whole life.
(09:11):
I stumbled upon it Because,again, the problem with the
traveling thing at that pointwasn't that I didn't necessarily
want to do it Although therewas part of that too, because
I'm building a business hard toget away but it was really
because I didn't know how theheck we were going to afford it.
But it was really because Ididn't know how the heck we were
going to afford it.
It's interesting, even though,because I have had experiences
(09:31):
going on trips quote unquotewith my family at this point, at
that point I should say backthen where the memories were
worse than if we stayed homeBecause we traveled in the
cheapest way possible.
I'm talking back of the planeworst hotel, if you can't sleep
(09:55):
at night because your hotel bedsucks and everybody around you
is being loud and everybody yougot.
You got people who are probablydoing drugs outside your room,
whatever.
Is that traveling or is thatjust relocating into a different
spot and making things worse?
So anyways.
So I knew I didn't want totravel like that.
That just makes things worse.
And so now I'm in this spot.
I have no money I shouldn't sayno money.
(10:16):
I don't have disposable incomefor travel.
We did have a house, we hadfood on the table, so we weren't
in that bad of a situation,although I have had moments in
my life where we had none ofthat too, where we didn't know
where our next meal was going tocome from.
That has happened more than Iwould like to admit, but I'm
admitting, so that so there weare.
There we are.
(10:36):
There's where I'm sitting.
I'm trying to find the cheapestway to travel, but not the
cheapest way to travel if thatmakes sense.
I'm trying to find a cheapdestination, essentially, but
not to sit in the back of theplane.
If we were going to take aplane, depending Might have to
drive right, because planetravel is more expensive than
driving right.
No, but we will talk about thatat a different time.
(11:00):
I think, in fact I know, thatairlines are actually cheaper
than driving, sometimes Waycheaper, in fact, no cost.
That airlines are actuallycheaper than driving, sometimes
way cheaper, in fact, no cost,except for maybe like six bucks
or something, because there's a,like a government fee that's
imposed because that's where welive, but anyway.
So we got to a point where I gotto a point, I should say, where
(11:22):
I'm like OK, I got to findcheap places to travel.
So that's why I went andstarted researching.
That was the genesis of what Iwas trying to do, and then I
stumbled upon something thatagain, like I said earlier,
worked right in with my career,which worked right in with how I
(11:44):
think and also how to solve aproblem that I was actually kind
of trying to solve, but I wastrying to solve in the way that
I knew, which is trying to findcheap places to travel.
And this is the crux of it.
I found, essentially,throughout all my research, a
way to travel in luxury forlittle to no cost.
(12:08):
So let me saying that, let mejust tell you what this has done
, because I want to talk to thepeople who are struggling in
their marriage, because that'swhere I was at Long nights of my
wife crying, my children beingstressed, our whole entire
family falling apart, memoriesof the stress just essentially
(12:33):
overtaking my entire family.
Whereas I said earlier,parallel marriage was a real
possibility, possibly evendivorce.
The one thing that I feared inmy life because of what happened
to me was happening.
Part of that was also because,as I said earlier, I was trying
to control a lot, control thesituation, control her ability
(12:56):
to make that decision, in a wayand the exact opposite was
happening.
So just by her saying thatnight I need to get out, it
changed everything, everything.
Our bonds with our children arestronger and I have plenty of
stories to tell you about that.
(13:17):
My marriage with my spousestronger Not perfect, stronger,
in fact.
Another thing I could tell youis that, because of the system
that I stumbled upon andresearched for I mean years, I
mean years I'm still learning ina lot of ways, because this is
(13:39):
the kind of system, the kind ofthing that continually moves and
changes, which is what I loveabout it.
Because of the system Istumbled upon, my wife and I can
just get away into a hotelbecause we just feel like it one
day, and it could cost usliterally nothing.
Not only that, but we can getinto.
I traveled to Phoenix recently,in fact about a month ago from
(14:04):
this recording date and when Itraveled there, we stayed in a
hotel and they upgrade us to asuite for the same cost as a
regular room.
Did I just look pretty that day?
No, it had nothing to do withthat.
It has everything to do withthe things that I built around
me that allows for things likethat.
(14:25):
It allows for more room, and myspouse was with me.
We traveled together to aconference and it was an amazing
experience.
The conference was okay Justkidding, the conference was
great, but the hotel room wasgreat.
The time we spent together waswonderful.
Could that have happened in aregular room?
(14:48):
Sure, but what does it make itfeel like when you have more
room, literally?
So what I stumbled upon,ultimately, was a way to build
memories, build relationships,build your relationship with
your spouse.
I built the relationship with myspouse that I've always wanted
(15:12):
by just getting away, bytraveling.
We haven't been to therapy.
We haven't been to couplestherapy.
We haven't been to, you know,the local religious leader to
try to fix our marriage and ourfamily.
We didn't tell the kids theybetter get in line or else we
(15:32):
didn't tell the kids we have togo on all these sports
adventures.
You got to play sports so wecan get away.
By the way, that's not gettingaway.
In my experience, I've seenthis.
My brother tends to.
Well, he has.
He isn't anymore at this momenthe actually has cancer, but
before he used to go isn'tanymore at this moment he
actually has cancer but beforehe used to go travel with sports
(15:53):
all the time and that's howthey traveled.
That's them, that's fine.
I'm just saying that that isn'ttravel.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
There is travel and there'straveling I don't know pick a
term but that's not traveling.
That's not how I see traveling.
You're not building memorieswhen you're sitting on a
sideline.
It could also be an analogy forlife that you're sitting on a
sideline, but that's a differentstory.
(16:16):
But how I have felt since then,since the very moment my family
started traveling, it haschanged everything.
It has changed the way we doChristmas.
It's changed the way that welook at.
I'm always looking at the nextplace to go.
When we finish a trip, my nextthing is let's go find the next
(16:39):
place to go.
I'm not at the place now in mylife, but this is where I'd like
to get to, where I don't even Iwork, where I travel.
In other words, I take mylaptop with me and I can work on
the beach.
Because if some of you wereworking from home, why can't you
work from the beach?
Why can't you work from aluxury hotel with your family.
(17:03):
Why can't you work on a bullettrain in Japan?
Why the location's relevant ifyou're working from home and
that changes your work too, bythe way, it could make it a lot
funner.
I have worked in a lot of thedestinations my wife and I have
traveled to, but the result ofall of this all those who are
(17:24):
listening is this changedeverything in the relationship
with my family, and it can bedone with little or no cost.
Like I said before, that's whatthe biggest deal is here Is I
could actually do somethingabout it at that moment, when I
(17:44):
thought it was completelyimpossible.
It's not impossible.
So here's what I want.
Here's what I want for you, asif you were sitting in the room
right now.
I want you to have a betterrelationship with your family.
I want you to be able to getaway.
I want you to be able toexperience a world that is out
(18:07):
there, that most people don'trealize is out there.
But at the end of this episode,I want to say this there are a
couple of things I know you cando right now.
Go to your spouse, give them ahug that you may not have given
them, for you know, some peopleI know haven't given their
spouse a hug for years.
Right, give them a big hug andsay where would you like to go
(18:30):
in this world If we were to getout of this house and get out of
this area and go anywhere?
Where would that be?
Where would you want to go?
Or another thing you could dois rekindle memories from before
you married your spouse,because you had passion for each
other.
It doesn't usually happen,unless it's an arranged marriage
(18:50):
.
There's not passion there.
There's passion in yourmarriage.
There's passion in yourrelationship.
There was passion in yourrelationship at least.
Where was that passion?
Well, we traveled a lot backthen oh, what a shock.
Or we got away a lot more, wehad a lot more fun together.
We can't have that fun with thekids in the house.
Agreed, agreed, get away fromthe children.
(19:12):
So the second thing I would sayis go through your memories with
your spouse.
Then that might kindle a placewhere you could go, places you
could go, revisit places whereyou dated, because maybe you
don't live in even that areaanymore.
So my final thought, my finalthing to you, is love your
(19:36):
family, because love iseverything.
Love is literally everything,and if you feel like you've
fallen out of love.
This may be the solution foryou.
You have been listening to.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorce.
With me, your host, davidPacker, please connect with us
on our YouTube channel at TravelPoint Pros.
(19:58):
There you will learn many tipsand tricks on how to use points
and miles to travel in luxuryfor little to no cost.
Remember to like and subscribeand comment on any of the videos
that you find helpful to you.
Thank you for listening.
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