November 11, 2024 • 19 mins
What if the key to mending fractured family relationships lies in the power of travel? Join us as we uncover the profound impact travel can have on family dynamics, especially amidst the challenges of divorce. Through personal stories about my father's relentless commitment to visiting us from two states away, we explore how travel became a conduit for strengthening our bond and fostering my passion for new experiences. This episode delves into the idea of taking individual trips with each child, a meaningful strategy to reconnect and alleviate the pain of separation, offering insights into how travel can be a tool for preventing familial breakdowns.
Experience the transformative rewards of one-on-one time with your children, away from life's distractions. We discuss moving past parental fears and barriers to create genuine conversations and deeper connections. The "law of late harvest" frames our discussion on investing time in family relationships today to reap future rewards. We contrast the emotional toll of divorce with the joys and savings of nurturing family bonds through travel. Listen in for heartfelt anecdotes and practical tips on how travel can heal, grow, and ultimately strengthen your family connections, proving to be an economical and fulfilling choice.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
Did you get to see your fathermuch growing up?
I know a lot of people whowould answer that no.
My spouse is one of them.
In fact, she tells a storysometimes about how she rarely
(00:52):
saw her father so much that sheforgot what it looked like.
And maybe you had that sameexperience.
See, I am a child of divorceand I know a lot of people who,
when they were divorced whentheir parents got divorced, I
(01:15):
should say, their father wasn'taround.
Even though their father mightlive only 20 minutes away or
even 10 minutes away, theirfather wasn't around.
In my last episode, I talkedabout rejection.
That's, the ultimate rejection.
It feels like I count myselflucky in this way.
I don't feel lucky that myparents were divorced, although
(01:37):
it has shaped me into the personI am today.
My dad, to his credit.
He didn't live 20 minutes away,he lived two states away and he
came and saw me and my siblingsoften, quite often, in fact,
more often than dads I know whoagain were like 10 or 20 minutes
(02:01):
away.
I remember and I don't know ifthis is actually true, but this
is how it felt.
It felt like he was at everysingle choir concert.
Now, if you've ever been to ahigh school or junior high choir
concert, they're not the mostexciting things in the world.
But he flew in to support me.
Let me say that again because,well, I'll just say this part.
(02:24):
He flew in, he traveled to comesee me.
This podcast is really designedto really help you heal your
family before it gets to divorce, but in this case, I can't heal
what has already happened.
But when they got divorced, mydad traveled to come see me and
(02:45):
I think that maybe that's why Ihave such a love for travel.
Also because what it did for myfamily.
Now it's like travel didn'theal the relationship between me
and my father, but it certainlyhelped the relationship to be
there.
I know people who don't haveany relationship with their
(03:07):
father because their father wasnever around.
I mean, there's study afterstudy after study about
fatherless homes and what thatdoes, I felt more that I had a
father in the home than theseother people did.
He wasn't really there, but youknow what else my dad did?
He called me once a week.
He took the time to call meonce a week, but what had the
(03:29):
biggest impact on a positiveside?
I mean, I've talked a lot inthese episodes about all the
things that it did to me on theI don't want to call it negative
side, but maybe not the mosthappy side.
But on the positive side, ifthere was going to be one, is
the fact that he traveled tocome see me and of course it
(03:52):
wasn't just for me, but whenyou're a kid that's what it
feels like, and then my love fortravel again may come from that
.
I could even say that, forexample, that was suppressed
because when my parents gotdivorced I really became a
homebody.
I didn't go out much, mostlybecause my mom didn't go out
(04:12):
much.
She fell into a depression.
We didn't go anywhere, frankly.
So I was one of those kids, oneof those 90s kids that just sat
in front of the television, satin front of the television, sat
in front of the television andthen high speed internet came
out, so you better believe it onthe computer, right and uh, so
(04:34):
I didn't get out much at all.
And because I didn't get outmuch, um, I didn't, I didn't
really have.
When we got, when my spouse gotmarried, I did, I was, I was, I
decided.
I mean, when you live one wayyour entire life, it's not like
it's easy just to flip a switchand turn the other direction.
And so I did stay in the housea lot.
I didn't get out much.
(04:54):
So I'm going to say somethingvery kind of strange, but it's
almost like I buried my love fortravel underneath layers and
layers of other things, becauseI didn't.
It wasn't until my spousetalked about travel and how she
wanted to travel did I realizehow much I love to travel and
(05:15):
how much more I love to travelfor free, right, that is like
the best way to travel right Isto travel for free.
So my dad is to travel for free.
So my dad my dad has a was ableto come often enough.
And, um, you know the, thepoints game that I play I don't
(05:37):
even want to call it a game thepoint system that I use, um,
that point system did not existas it does today.
So I know he paid cash for alot of these flights.
He lived in Southern California, I lived in Northern Utah at
(05:59):
the time and he used his moneyto come see his children and it
affected me.
It definitely affected me in apositive way.
Of course, this podcast is aboutpreventing divorce, so I'm not
recommending you divorce andthen go visit your children
every so often.
(06:19):
That's not the point of whatI'm trying to say.
I'm trying to say that, evenwith my divorce, even with the
divorce that happened in mychildhood, um, because he
traveled to come see me, it madethe sting of the divorce a
little less.
So now I'm talking to you aboutthis.
(06:42):
I'm talking to you about thishave you ever thought of taking
just let's just say you havemultiple children, like I do, we
have four you ever thoughtabout just taking one of your
children on a trip somewhere,maybe just for a couple days?
(07:03):
Because a lot of the times andin fact in my last, I can't
remember how many episodes ago Italked about how to, if you
want to heal your marriage, youneed to get away from your
children.
I still hold that.
I hold that to if you want toheal your marriage, you need to
get away from your children.
I still hold to that.
I hold to that, and maybeyou've gotten to that point
(07:23):
already where you and yourspouse are now in a better place
than you've ever been to.
You've never been in for awhile.
What about that one kid thatyou're having a hard time with?
Can you not use that sameformula?
Can you not use that sameformula and take your child
(07:48):
Again?
This doesn't have to be anexpensive thing.
Number one you can use points.
Or, number two if you don'thave the points yet, go on a
weekender.
Just like you know, you want tobe a little bit further away
from home, where it's notconvenient to go back home.
You want to make it painful foryou to go back home because you
(08:11):
don't want to go to a hotel orwhatever it might be, and then
after a day, like, oh, I'm justgoing to go home.
This is just not working outfor me.
If you're like 10 minutes away,that's easy.
If you're an hour and a halfaway, that's not easy, because
my dad came and saw me andtraveled to me.
It made a big difference in mylife.
But since I don't want you toget to that point as a father.
(08:34):
Maybe it's just taking yourchild on a trip individually and
showing them that you do lovethem, because you're like, oh
that, you know, I you know, I'llsay this in my life.
There have been points in mylife where that very thing
terrifies me.
It terrifies me to spendone-on-one time with my children
(08:57):
because at the at that point Iwas like I don't, I don't even
know what to say to them.
I can't have a conversationwith a a, a 14 year old girl.
I've never been a teenage girl.
What are we going to talk about?
She didn't want to talk aboutmakeup and clothing.
I'd be like I don't even knowwhat you're talking about.
But see, that's so superficial.
(09:20):
You're talking about thingsthat she talks about on the
surface.
What's underneath all that?
Do you think she's going toopen up to you if you're just
spending like five minutes withher, take her away, and then it
might start that way.
But what happens when theconversations about makeup and
(09:41):
clothing has all gone away?
If you show your heart, if youshow your heart, you don't think
she's going to show you herheart, or him, if it's a son,
and then you can have a deepconversation about things.
There may be some within thesound of my voice that say but
(10:05):
all we do is argue, it's justgoing to turn into an argument
because I just this kid.
I just cannot understand thiskid.
That's the whole point of this.
Of course you don't.
Have you spent the time tolisten?
Or are you spending your timetrying to correct every little
(10:26):
thing they say?
Their life is not your life,meaning meaning that you grew up
a certain way, but they are notgrowing up that same way?
In fact, if you're a goodfather, you want them to grow up
better than how you grew up.
So have you spent the time tolisten?
So you're on these trips withthem.
(10:48):
That's all you can do, and infact, I would recommend, frankly
, that you don't plan a lot ofstuff while you're on this trip,
because if you plan a bunch ofstuff, then all you're doing is
you're filling the time withthings that are not
conversations.
I mean, go on a bowling trip.
When you're going bowling,there's so much time for
(11:12):
conversation Some people don'tlike bowling because of that but
but there's so much time forconversation If you go bowling
or miniature golfing or theseother things that don't require
a lot of like going to movie.
There's not a lot ofconversation happening.
They're going to a theme parkSame thing Cause you're maybe
(11:32):
depends how long the lines arebut then you're just annoyed If
you've been to a theme park withlong lines I think everybody
has.
So what I'm trying to say is isthat if you have a problem with
a child so in my case, with thedivorce my dad came to me but
I'm saying you take themsomewhere, because I'm hoping
(11:54):
that you're not to that pointand they are already divorced.
Now, if you are alreadydivorced, I'm saying you take
them somewhere, because I'mhoping that you're not to that
point and they are alreadydivorced.
Now, if you are alreadydivorced, I'm telling you you
want to make a difference inyour children's life.
Spend time with them.
Stop being so selfish.
Seriously, my gosh, there issuch an epidemic of selfishness.
Well, the game is.
This weekend I got to watch theBroncos play whomever I don't
(12:14):
know, I'm not an NFL guy, but Igot to get my NFL time in.
Oh, is that more important thanyour child?
Is that what you're trying totell me right now?
Come on, wake up.
You don't think your childrencan notice that that's more
important than them.
But we spend time togetherwatching the game.
(12:36):
That's fantastic.
I love that.
Actually, I love that.
I love the fact that you canspend time together as a family
to watch the game.
But that's as a family.
Do you ever spend one on onetime with the child?
Do you shush them becausethere's a play going on when
they're trying to talk to you?
You can miss a week, you canmiss a weekend and then, oh gosh
(13:00):
, I'm so tired of it.
I'm so tired of men.
I'm so tired of fathers who saywell, that's my me time, you're
going to lose everything, andthen it will only be your me
time 100% of the time.
When you lose your entirefamily, it's important to
recharge.
I'm not trying to reject that.
It's important to recharge,it's important to have some me
(13:20):
time.
But if that's all it is, you'relosing everybody around you.
So take your child away.
If you're having struggles withthem, you can have some deep
conversation with them and youmight.
You know what you might startwith an argument.
It might be an argument.
It might start that way, but itwill not end that way.
(13:40):
I have a lot of confidence inthat.
Now, travel travel is important.
Look how it's affected my life.
It affected me where my fathercomes to me, where I felt like I
was loved by my father, eventhough my parents got divorced
and I'm going to talk in afuture episode, I'm going to
talk about what led to that, whythey got divorced but so it
(14:08):
affected me also with my ownmarriage, where we started
traveling together, me and myspouse, and then my children.
Notice, that was the pattern.
Right, it was my spouse and Ifirst, and then the children.
Because if your marriage isfalling apart at the top,
everything below falls apart,and I think I said I factored I
(14:30):
know I said this in an earlierepisode because if you focus so
much on your children and youlose track of your spouse,
you're just losing your entirefamily.
They can feel that.
I'm so tired of people saying,well, they don't know Bull, they
all know they can feel it inthe household.
It's palatable.
I said that word wrong, but Ithink you got it.
(14:51):
You have to stand up and be aman, and a man leads his family.
I know that's going to drivesome people insane, but they do.
They lead their family.
You can't lead it withunrighteous dominion.
You can't you have to do withlove.
(15:12):
And if you're, and if you're, Ijust I just feel like I almost
feel you guys out there tellingme well, I got to have my me
time.
I just feel that because I seenit so many times and I know
I've talked about this before,just like five seconds ago, but
I just feel it out there thatyou're saying to yourself well,
I'm sorry, I just can't do that.
You're making excuses, you wantthe arguments to stop.
(15:35):
You want arguments to stop.
You want to get closer to yourkids.
And maybe you don't want to getcloser to your kids.
I can't help you there.
Okay, I'll just tell you thisIf you're the one saying I don't
really care about gettingcloser to my kids, how dare you?
Those kids rely on you, notjust for money.
Money is just so fleeting, itjust goes away anyways.
(15:57):
They rely on you for love.
How dare you?
Those kids need you.
I'm really looking forward.
My kids are not old enough yetfor this yet, but I'm looking
forward to the time when mychildren have children and I
have grandchildren and I'm ableto have them over for a Sunday
dinner or whatever, if they liveclose enough.
(16:18):
And if they don't.
I look forward to them comingback and traveling I said it
again back to their parents orus traveling to them.
I'm looking forward to the timewe spend together as a family.
Do you think they're going towant to see you when they have
kids if you don't even want tosee them now?
I'm sorry, this is sofrustrating to me.
(16:38):
It's frustrating to me the waythat people look and say what's
in it for me.
One more quick thing before Iwrap this up.
I believe that the things thatyou want the most in your life
are the things that take thelongest.
Well, I mean, I really want tophrase this right the things
(17:02):
that are going to be the mostfulfilling in your life are the
most painful and longest thingsthat you're going to have to go
through.
Raising a family isn't easy.
It's hard work, but if you putthe work in, then on the back
end of that, you're going tolove it.
You're going to love it.
(17:30):
I call it the law of lateharvest, as somebody else once
said, which is, you put in thework and you don't even see the
fruits of your labor until waylonger later, and you see all.
Then you harvest, then youharvest, then you harvest.
I'm looking forward toharvesting.
I'm looking forward to the timewhen my children want to come
back home or they want me tocome visit their children and
(17:54):
they want to be around us and wecan go on a cruise together
because you know I like totravel, if you haven't noticed
and we go out together and go,have fun together, and this is
all.
After.
This is when it's their choice.
Right now, they're living withme, but when they come back and
they want to come back, that iswhen I harvest all the work that
I put into the field.
You want to spend your rest ofyour life playing child support,
(18:17):
alimony, hardly being around.
That's way expensive.
Like I said before, you want tobe all about your time me, me,
my time.
That's all you're going to getand then you're going to have
all this money going out, sinceyou're so worried about money
Because I know there are someout there who are but I'm
(18:37):
telling you right now, travel ismuch cheaper, much cheaper than
divorce you have been listeningto.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorcewith David Packer.
Please let us know what youthink about this episode or any
other comments you might have,by visiting our website at
(18:59):
wwwtravelpointdadcom.
Please join us for our nextepisode, where we continue to
explore how travel can helpbring your family together.
You are listening to.
Travel is Cheaper than Divorce.
This podcast for all those whomay be struggling with their
spouse or their children and therelationship with them.
We help give you tips andtricks by using travel as the
means to be able to help yourrelationships with your family.
I'll provide those tricks andother ways to help travel with
(00:29):
little or no cost.
So let's get into it.
Did you get to see your fathermuch growing up?
I know a lot of people whowould answer that no.
My spouse is one of them.
In fact, she tells a storysometimes about how she rarely
(00:52):
saw her father so much that sheforgot what it looked like.
And maybe you had that sameexperience.
See, I am a child of divorceand I know a lot of people who,
when they were divorced whentheir parents got divorced, I
(01:15):
should say, their father wasn'taround.
Even though their father mightlive only 20 minutes away or
even 10 minutes away, theirfather wasn't around.
In my last episode, I talkedabout rejection.
That's, the ultimate rejection.
It feels like I count myselflucky in this way.
I don't feel lucky that myparents were divorced, although
(01:37):
it has shaped me into the personI am today.
My dad, to his credit.
He didn't live 20 minutes away,he lived two states away and he
came and saw me and my siblingsoften, quite often, in fact,
more often than dads I know whoagain were like 10 or 20 minutes
(02:01):
away.
I remember and I don't know ifthis is actually true, but this
is how it felt.
It felt like he was at everysingle choir concert.
Now, if you've ever been to ahigh school or junior high choir
concert, they're not the mostexciting things in the world.
But he flew in to support me.
Let me say that again because,well, I'll just say this part.
(02:24):
He flew in, he traveled to comesee me.
This podcast is really designedto really help you heal your
family before it gets to divorce, but in this case, I can't heal
what has already happened.
But when they got divorced, mydad traveled to come see me and
(02:45):
I think that maybe that's why Ihave such a love for travel.
Also because what it did for myfamily.
Now it's like travel didn'theal the relationship between me
and my father, but it certainlyhelped the relationship to be
there.
I know people who don't haveany relationship with their
(03:07):
father because their father wasnever around.
I mean, there's study afterstudy after study about
fatherless homes and what thatdoes, I felt more that I had a
father in the home than theseother people did.
He wasn't really there, but youknow what else my dad did?
He called me once a week.
He took the time to call meonce a week, but what had the
(03:29):
biggest impact on a positiveside?
I mean, I've talked a lot inthese episodes about all the
things that it did to me on theI don't want to call it negative
side, but maybe not the mosthappy side.
But on the positive side, ifthere was going to be one, is
the fact that he traveled tocome see me and of course it
(03:52):
wasn't just for me, but whenyou're a kid that's what it
feels like, and then my love fortravel again may come from that
.
I could even say that, forexample, that was suppressed
because when my parents gotdivorced I really became a
homebody.
I didn't go out much, mostlybecause my mom didn't go out
(04:12):
much.
She fell into a depression.
We didn't go anywhere, frankly.
So I was one of those kids, oneof those 90s kids that just sat
in front of the television, satin front of the television, sat
in front of the television andthen high speed internet came
out, so you better believe it onthe computer, right and uh, so
(04:34):
I didn't get out much at all.
And because I didn't get outmuch, um, I didn't, I didn't
really have.
When we got, when my spouse gotmarried, I did, I was, I was, I
decided.
I mean, when you live one wayyour entire life, it's not like
it's easy just to flip a switchand turn the other direction.
And so I did stay in the housea lot.
I didn't get out much.
(04:54):
So I'm going to say somethingvery kind of strange, but it's
almost like I buried my love fortravel underneath layers and
layers of other things, becauseI didn't.
It wasn't until my spousetalked about travel and how she
wanted to travel did I realizehow much I love to travel and
(05:15):
how much more I love to travelfor free, right, that is like
the best way to travel right Isto travel for free.
So my dad is to travel for free.
So my dad my dad has a was ableto come often enough.
And, um, you know the, thepoints game that I play I don't
(05:37):
even want to call it a game thepoint system that I use, um,
that point system did not existas it does today.
So I know he paid cash for alot of these flights.
He lived in Southern California, I lived in Northern Utah at
(05:59):
the time and he used his moneyto come see his children and it
affected me.
It definitely affected me in apositive way.
Of course, this podcast is aboutpreventing divorce, so I'm not
recommending you divorce andthen go visit your children
every so often.
(06:19):
That's not the point of whatI'm trying to say.
I'm trying to say that, evenwith my divorce, even with the
divorce that happened in mychildhood, um, because he
traveled to come see me, it madethe sting of the divorce a
little less.
So now I'm talking to you aboutthis.
(06:42):
I'm talking to you about thishave you ever thought of taking
just let's just say you havemultiple children, like I do, we
have four you ever thoughtabout just taking one of your
children on a trip somewhere,maybe just for a couple days?
(07:03):
Because a lot of the times andin fact in my last, I can't
remember how many episodes ago Italked about how to, if you
want to heal your marriage, youneed to get away from your
children.
I still hold that.
I hold that to if you want toheal your marriage, you need to
get away from your children.
I still hold to that.
I hold to that, and maybeyou've gotten to that point
(07:23):
already where you and yourspouse are now in a better place
than you've ever been to.
You've never been in for awhile.
What about that one kid thatyou're having a hard time with?
Can you not use that sameformula?
Can you not use that sameformula and take your child
(07:48):
Again?
This doesn't have to be anexpensive thing.
Number one you can use points.
Or, number two if you don'thave the points yet, go on a
weekender.
Just like you know, you want tobe a little bit further away
from home, where it's notconvenient to go back home.
You want to make it painful foryou to go back home because you
(08:11):
don't want to go to a hotel orwhatever it might be, and then
after a day, like, oh, I'm justgoing to go home.
This is just not working outfor me.
If you're like 10 minutes away,that's easy.
If you're an hour and a halfaway, that's not easy, because
my dad came and saw me andtraveled to me.
It made a big difference in mylife.
But since I don't want you toget to that point as a father.
(08:34):
Maybe it's just taking yourchild on a trip individually and
showing them that you do lovethem, because you're like, oh
that, you know, I you know, I'llsay this in my life.
There have been points in mylife where that very thing
terrifies me.
It terrifies me to spendone-on-one time with my children
(08:57):
because at the at that point Iwas like I don't, I don't even
know what to say to them.
I can't have a conversationwith a a, a 14 year old girl.
I've never been a teenage girl.
What are we going to talk about?
She didn't want to talk aboutmakeup and clothing.
I'd be like I don't even knowwhat you're talking about.
But see, that's so superficial.
(09:20):
You're talking about thingsthat she talks about on the
surface.
What's underneath all that?
Do you think she's going toopen up to you if you're just
spending like five minutes withher, take her away, and then it
might start that way.
But what happens when theconversations about makeup and
(09:41):
clothing has all gone away?
If you show your heart, if youshow your heart, you don't think
she's going to show you herheart, or him, if it's a son,
and then you can have a deepconversation about things.
There may be some within thesound of my voice that say but
(10:05):
all we do is argue, it's justgoing to turn into an argument
because I just this kid.
I just cannot understand thiskid.
That's the whole point of this.
Of course you don't.
Have you spent the time tolisten?
Or are you spending your timetrying to correct every little
(10:26):
thing they say?
Their life is not your life,meaning meaning that you grew up
a certain way, but they are notgrowing up that same way?
In fact, if you're a goodfather, you want them to grow up
better than how you grew up.
So have you spent the time tolisten?
So you're on these trips withthem.
(10:48):
That's all you can do, and infact, I would recommend, frankly
, that you don't plan a lot ofstuff while you're on this trip,
because if you plan a bunch ofstuff, then all you're doing is
you're filling the time withthings that are not
conversations.
I mean, go on a bowling trip.
When you're going bowling,there's so much time for
(11:12):
conversation Some people don'tlike bowling because of that but
but there's so much time forconversation If you go bowling
or miniature golfing or theseother things that don't require
a lot of like going to movie.
There's not a lot ofconversation happening.
They're going to a theme parkSame thing Cause you're maybe
(11:32):
depends how long the lines arebut then you're just annoyed If
you've been to a theme park withlong lines I think everybody
has.
So what I'm trying to say is isthat if you have a problem with
a child so in my case, with thedivorce my dad came to me but
I'm saying you take themsomewhere, because I'm hoping
(11:54):
that you're not to that pointand they are already divorced.
Now, if you are alreadydivorced, I'm saying you take
them somewhere, because I'mhoping that you're not to that
point and they are alreadydivorced.
Now, if you are alreadydivorced, I'm telling you you
want to make a difference inyour children's life.
Spend time with them.
Stop being so selfish.
Seriously, my gosh, there issuch an epidemic of selfishness.
Well, the game is.
This weekend I got to watch theBroncos play whomever I don't
(12:14):
know, I'm not an NFL guy, but Igot to get my NFL time in.
Oh, is that more important thanyour child?
Is that what you're trying totell me right now?
Come on, wake up.
You don't think your childrencan notice that that's more
important than them.
But we spend time togetherwatching the game.
(12:36):
That's fantastic.
I love that.
Actually, I love that.
I love the fact that you canspend time together as a family
to watch the game.
But that's as a family.
Do you ever spend one on onetime with the child?
Do you shush them becausethere's a play going on when
they're trying to talk to you?
You can miss a week, you canmiss a weekend and then, oh gosh
(13:00):
, I'm so tired of it.
I'm so tired of men.
I'm so tired of fathers who saywell, that's my me time, you're
going to lose everything, andthen it will only be your me
time 100% of the time.
When you lose your entirefamily, it's important to
recharge.
I'm not trying to reject that.
It's important to recharge,it's important to have some me
(13:20):
time.
But if that's all it is, you'relosing everybody around you.
So take your child away.
If you're having struggles withthem, you can have some deep
conversation with them and youmight.
You know what you might startwith an argument.
It might be an argument.
It might start that way, but itwill not end that way.
(13:40):
I have a lot of confidence inthat.
Now, travel travel is important.
Look how it's affected my life.
It affected me where my fathercomes to me, where I felt like I
was loved by my father, eventhough my parents got divorced
and I'm going to talk in afuture episode, I'm going to
talk about what led to that, whythey got divorced but so it
(14:08):
affected me also with my ownmarriage, where we started
traveling together, me and myspouse, and then my children.
Notice, that was the pattern.
Right, it was my spouse and Ifirst, and then the children.
Because if your marriage isfalling apart at the top,
everything below falls apart,and I think I said I factored I
(14:30):
know I said this in an earlierepisode because if you focus so
much on your children and youlose track of your spouse,
you're just losing your entirefamily.
They can feel that.
I'm so tired of people saying,well, they don't know Bull, they
all know they can feel it inthe household.
It's palatable.
I said that word wrong, but Ithink you got it.
(14:51):
You have to stand up and be aman, and a man leads his family.
I know that's going to drivesome people insane, but they do.
They lead their family.
You can't lead it withunrighteous dominion.
You can't you have to do withlove.
(15:12):
And if you're, and if you're, Ijust I just feel like I almost
feel you guys out there tellingme well, I got to have my me
time.
I just feel that because I seenit so many times and I know
I've talked about this before,just like five seconds ago, but
I just feel it out there thatyou're saying to yourself well,
I'm sorry, I just can't do that.
You're making excuses, you wantthe arguments to stop.
(15:35):
You want arguments to stop.
You want to get closer to yourkids.
And maybe you don't want to getcloser to your kids.
I can't help you there.
Okay, I'll just tell you thisIf you're the one saying I don't
really care about gettingcloser to my kids, how dare you?
Those kids rely on you, notjust for money.
Money is just so fleeting, itjust goes away anyways.
(15:57):
They rely on you for love.
How dare you?
Those kids need you.
I'm really looking forward.
My kids are not old enough yetfor this yet, but I'm looking
forward to the time when mychildren have children and I
have grandchildren and I'm ableto have them over for a Sunday
dinner or whatever, if they liveclose enough.
(16:18):
And if they don't.
I look forward to them comingback and traveling I said it
again back to their parents orus traveling to them.
I'm looking forward to the timewe spend together as a family.
Do you think they're going towant to see you when they have
kids if you don't even want tosee them now?
I'm sorry, this is sofrustrating to me.
(16:38):
It's frustrating to me the waythat people look and say what's
in it for me.
One more quick thing before Iwrap this up.
I believe that the things thatyou want the most in your life
are the things that take thelongest.
Well, I mean, I really want tophrase this right the things
(17:02):
that are going to be the mostfulfilling in your life are the
most painful and longest thingsthat you're going to have to go
through.
Raising a family isn't easy.
It's hard work, but if you putthe work in, then on the back
end of that, you're going tolove it.
You're going to love it.
(17:30):
I call it the law of lateharvest, as somebody else once
said, which is, you put in thework and you don't even see the
fruits of your labor until waylonger later, and you see all.
Then you harvest, then youharvest, then you harvest.
I'm looking forward toharvesting.
I'm looking forward to the timewhen my children want to come
back home or they want me tocome visit their children and
(17:54):
they want to be around us and wecan go on a cruise together
because you know I like totravel, if you haven't noticed
and we go out together and go,have fun together, and this is
all.
After.
This is when it's their choice.
Right now, they're living withme, but when they come back and
they want to come back, that iswhen I harvest all the work that
I put into the field.
You want to spend your rest ofyour life playing child support,
(18:17):
alimony, hardly being around.
That's way expensive.
Like I said before, you want tobe all about your time me, me,
my time.
That's all you're going to getand then you're going to have
all this money going out, sinceyou're so worried about money
Because I know there are someout there who are but I'm
(18:37):
telling you right now, travel ismuch cheaper, much cheaper than
divorce you have been listeningto.
Travel is Cheaper Than Divorcewith David Packer.
Please let us know what youthink about this episode or any
other comments you might have,by visiting our website at
(18:59):
wwwtravelpointdadcom.
Please join us for our nextepisode, where we continue to
explore how travel can helpbring your family together.
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