Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
To believe that they're entitled to more and that they
need to punish people for them not getting what they
think they deserve.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Does it feel like folks have got a very deep
sense of Coburger's motivate would you say, I mean, even
from those who really knew him, his professor, you know,
a classmate.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I think he had this compulsion, this need, this necessity
to do it, and he's probably always wanted to do
it and finally said, effort, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Or is the answer that Coburger is dumb?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
You were that careless, that foolish, that's stupid, master degree,
their joke, complete joke. The truth is as dumb as
they come. Stupid, clumsy, slow, sloppy, weak, dirty?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Is the right way to deal with these sorts of crimes?
Name calling? You know, to fight anger with anger. Would
you like to see the sort of thing in crimes
and courtrooms in the future.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Sorr, there's absolutely point. I be honest, you have a radar.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, yeah, And this raises a really interesting question around authenticity.
Should we be absolutely authentic, absolutely honest about how we
feel all the time. Well, if that's true, then shouldn't
a criminal be authentic to their nature as well? Is
(01:34):
authenticity an absolute value no matter what the context? I
feel pasood, Hello, and welcome to true rocket science. In
(02:01):
this analysis, we're going to examine Coburger's own words. He
may not have spoken in court, but he has railed
extensively in the past, especially online, about his gripes with
the world. And what do you think he emerges? Is
it a hatred of others? Well, what emerges isn't so
much a hatred of others but of himself.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
With a seatbelt like this, I didn't shock as I
was coming up, So that's why I asked y, usually
I should. I noticed you weren't wearing it. And I'm
on this emphasis.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And I think to some extent, people who hate life,
and to some extent even themselves, feel like they need
to prove that they right and someone else's wrong all
the time. That's one way they get validation. Now, you
don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to piece together coburger psychology,
and you don't have to be a psychologist either. You
(02:55):
do have to be curious and you have to put
in some effort. So let me ask you when you
saw Coburger court blank rigid, expressionless. Did you think he's
been like that his entire life? Let me ask you again,
put up your hand if you think Coburger has been
numb and blank his entire life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Are you out of your fucking mind?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You've just seen Coburger at the traffic stop. Did he
seem blank?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Then?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Did the people that he gave classes to think that
he was blank? Was that the first thing they said
when they spoke about him? Did you notice at one
point in court Coburger glanced at the judge without turning
his head. His black eyes simply swiveled in those large
empty sockets towards the judge and back again. Do you
think nothing is going on in his mind? It's easy
(03:47):
to misinterpret that blankness as dumbness. It's also easy to
forget what led up to this. Can we have another
show of hands?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Now?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Who here likes to call Coburger a psychopath? Do you
think Coburgert was born a psychopath? What would you say
if I told you there's a very simple way for
any person, for every person to become a psychopath, Yes,
even you, yes, even me. Just become addicted to something.
(04:18):
Someone addicted to their phone, who doesn't notice anything going
on in the world around them. Is also like a numb, dumb,
empty psychopath. Have you been on your phone for extended
periods while the people around you sort of recede into
nothingness where you don't notice them. You don't notice what
they're saying, you don't notice what they're asking, you don't
(04:39):
notice their needs. The difference is Coburger, once upon a time,
wanted to be numb, needed to be numb, wanted to escape,
needed to escape, and then woke up one day and
he was numb. Woke up one day and he had escaped,
But then he wanted to feel again. He wanted to
plug back into societ. But the damage was done. The
(05:02):
important thing to note in that little anecdote is what
he wants to be numb? Why? Because his feelings are
overwhelming him. He needs to be numb, why because of
the surf haid of feelings that he's feeling. And then
he achieves this numbness only to want to come back
to kind of a kind of his humanity. So you
(05:24):
might say, the damage was done? What damage? What caused
this damage? Well, addiction, Well this so we're not going
to talk about Coburger's heroine period. That's interesting. We're just
gonna kind of schizophrenically say, this guy we have right
in front of us has been like this all along,
(05:45):
has been like that all along. But what happens when
we think a little bit about his backstory and we
deal with the known literature regarding heroin use? Right, and
so look at the the ineffective emotion regulation strategies of
heroin use disorder patients. Emotional regulation refers to the ability
(06:08):
to influence which emotions we feel, when we feel them,
and how we express or experience them. Now, you might say, yeah,
drug addicts go through that, not the rest of us.
We don't watch movies or television, or listen to music,
or eat particular food or expose ourselves to particular social
media when we have a particular need to feel something,
(06:31):
just drug addicts do. Now, for many substance abuses, even
recognizing an emotion is difficult. Let me say that again.
For many substance abuses, even recognizing an emotion is hard
for them, never mind trying to have any sense of
influence over them. So, in other words, they are overwhelmed
(06:51):
constantly by their own feelings and they're trying to get
some distance some way to manage what they're feeling. Is
particularly true if they've experienced trauma or chronic persistent stress
where they've had to numb to survive. Think about those words,
they've had to numb to survive. Have you ever been
(07:12):
in that situation? Or is this just a purview of psychopaths,
criminals and sort of rarely chronic addicts. Have you ever
broken up with a person or being broken up with
and it felt like you didn't want to carry on living,
felt like you were being destroyed just simply by your
own broken heart, and where you also felt in order
(07:32):
to survive this you need to be numbed, that it
was hard just to breathe. Have you ever experienced that,
is that someone who doesn't experience anything or is overwhelmed
by their own feelings. Have you ever been in a
situation where the people around you, not one or two,
but a group, for whatever reason, decided that you were
(07:54):
persona non grata, that you were a good target either
to be bully or to be ridiculed, or to be
sort of cast out, to be sort of treated as
an outsider. Not a very nice feeling that now, if
we simply gloss over one news story, this one from
January thirteenth, twenty twenty three, in the New York Times.
(08:17):
We already get a very global overview of Coburger's psychology,
but more important, in his own words, I do murders.
Suspect felt no emotion and little remorse as a teen. Wow.
I think that means he was a psychopath all along.
It's true. Messages an online post on the PhD student
(08:40):
now charged with four murders show that he was once
detached and worse before he became fascinated with criminal minds.
Oh so, I think he didn't feel anything to begin with,
and that's why I like criminals, because he felt that
he had something in common with them. Right, well, a
very valid question which came first the mental health chicken
(09:03):
or did heroine scramble those eggs first? According to the article,
Coberger wrote years ago of having very negative thoughts that
he didn't want to be alive in it anymore. He
was not being able to feel emotions, and he was
observing his own life as if it were a video game.
(09:24):
By the way, a video game is another way to
simply be so disassociated from the world that you don't
really feel anything. For the world and to become so
immune to emotion because of the amounts of destruction and
mayhem that take place in these video games, the overstimulation
(09:45):
that when you step away from the video game, everything
else pales by comparison. People seem to be like cardboard
cutouts like they are in video games. And so he
said that he could do whatever I want with little remort.
Did you ever think that at the age of fifteen
you would be a full blown heroin addict.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
No, it's not like you wake up one day and
think that you're going to be a heroin addict. It
just solely progresses from the small stuff part alcohol cigarettes,
and it just keeps going.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's very interesting to me that Coburger's crisis starts when
he's a teenager, just like this addict in the clip.
And so, how were you when you're fifteen years old?
Were you very settled and happy in the world? If
you're not the most good looking person, is life very
hunky dory? Especially in high school at around sixteen after
(10:42):
years of using heroin. Coburger likely uses heroin because of
another crisis, being bullied at school and his inability to
get a girlfriend even then, And of course there are
other things going on at home, double bankruptcies. What's that like?
How much fun is that?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
You can't stand?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
You're already doing a bit of hair win in SICKI
Pop's aggy pop whatever?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
The guy's dead anyway.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Not Daddy tooled last year told me when to see him.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
The point is, you've got to find something new. She
was right.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I had to find something new.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And the fact that he keeps repeating that his life
feels like a video game also tells you what his
frame of reference is then and what he's doing with
his time between sessions in terms of I mean getting high.
It's actually a measure of healthy mental health where you say, wow,
you know, I'm starting to see life like it's a
(11:42):
video game. I think there's something wrong with that. Or
that is actually someone who's somewhat self aware that someone's
realizing these feelings I have aren't really right. But what
do I do about them? Now? We know about all
of this because Coburger reached out online in an online
forum where he discussed his mental health struggles, as well
(12:03):
as from interviews with those who knew him and messages
he send to friends that were obtained by the New
York Times. Now, what's interesting is he didn't reach out
online to insul forums. He reached out to people that
were struggling with things like visual Snow he was identifying
with them.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Well, you don't have it. You're just kind of like,
don't talk to me alone. You know, you're just this
whole different person. So you've tried to call hotlines.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
If you're alone and aloner, How do you reach out
to anybody If the reason you're doing this is because
you don't have any friends or even a girlfriend, how
do you reach out well online, I guess. Another interesting
question is whether he was a psychopath before he took Heroin.
What do you think or did the heroine use turn
(12:50):
him into one? Because he seems to observe his own
self suddenly unable to feel anything. Doesn't that mean once
upon a time he did feel something?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Seems however, a really un the luckiest guy in the world,
several years of a diction, right in the middle of
an epidemic, surrounded by the living dad, but not me.
I'm negative. It's official, and once the pain goes away,
that's when the real battle starts. Depression, boredom. He feels
so fucking loyal.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Of course, Coburger's life wasn't a process. He was simply
a psychopath all along, a criminal all along. You know
that wouldn't have anything to do with pumping tanker loads
of chemicals into his body, now, would it feeding pain?
Do you see after a year or more of heavy
drug use of a particularly bad drug, that he wakes
(13:42):
up and he goes, huh weird, I'm having trouble feeling shit.
I was feeling a lot of feelings and then I
did this in order not to feel anything. But now
I'm ready to feel something again, except I can't.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by
a thousand in a still nowhere neither intent.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
One of the after effects of heroin use, surprise, surprise,
is impotency. Well obviously, bozo. If you burn away your
pleasure centers, of course you're going to feel numb. So overall,
in these online posts that no one is remembering today,
Coburger paints supported of an anxious, isolated, and depressed teenager
(14:32):
who turns to heroin use before eventually getting clean and
becoming fascinated with studying criminal psychology. So what does he
really do? He cleans up his act, tries to go
in the straight and narrow, only to be left out
after all of that effort. It's kind of a heroic
effort to come out of that and try and build
(14:53):
up his life again, only to find it doesn't really matter.
No one really cares. He's on the outside, no one
really likes him. But look at those words anxious, isolated,
and depressed as a teenager. Now, how many of us
didn't feel exactly those same feelings? And were we psychopaths
(15:13):
to these reasons when you've got ahead on instead, what
you really need are reasons when you come out the
other side. But what happens when you come out the
other side and society still hates you? Well, now you
really need reasons, And what if the reasons that you
do come up with aren't very positive? Feelings of resentment,
(15:33):
feelings of rejection, feelings of anger and helplessness. But one
thing that it is not is not feeling, not having feelings,
whatever those feelings are. Though, of course the rest of
your life from that point onwards of using heroin is
going to be one big disappointment. It's easy to feel
pretty resentful about that as well.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You're playing with fire and you're going to go burned.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
If this is the explanation, how do you say it?
How do you tell this story in court? What are
you supposed to say? Where are you supposed to begin? Well,
he could say, I feel like an organic sack of
meat with no self worth. That's what he wrote in
twenty eleven, when you're sixteen years old, adding later in
the same post, as I hug my family, I look
(16:20):
into their faces, I see nothing. It is like I'm
looking at a video game, but less. He does actually
identify a very important part that is underpinning all of this.
No self worth, and that is something that you also
experience and feel self worth. And what do you think
heroin does to that? Well, it takes that little bit
(16:41):
that is there, takes it away, strips it away. And
so what are the classic regular and long term heroin
use symptoms? Well, a strong feeling of sadness, insomnia, and
mental disorders. And how many of these were Brian Coburger's
a lot? What does it mean when you don't care?
(17:03):
When you numb? What does it look like? Alright, I'm
not going to take it further than that, but I
put up a poll on my channel why didn't the
psychopathic coburger kill Dylan Mortensen as well. If you haven't
voted in that, please do and we'll examine that in
the next episode. Thank you for listening, and I'll see
you guys next time.
To believe that they're entitled to more and that they
need to punish people for them not getting what they
think they deserve.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Does it feel like folks have got a very deep
sense of Coburger's motivate would you say, I mean, even
from those who really knew him, his professor, you know,
a classmate.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
I think he had this compulsion, this need, this necessity
to do it, and he's probably always wanted to do
it and finally said, effort, I'm going to do it.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Or is the answer that Coburger is dumb?
Speaker 3 (00:33):
You were that careless, that foolish, that's stupid, master degree,
their joke, complete joke. The truth is as dumb as
they come. Stupid, clumsy, slow, sloppy, weak, dirty?
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Is the right way to deal with these sorts of crimes?
Name calling? You know, to fight anger with anger. Would
you like to see the sort of thing in crimes
and courtrooms in the future.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Sorr, there's absolutely point. I be honest, you have a radar.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yeah, yeah, And this raises a really interesting question around authenticity.
Should we be absolutely authentic, absolutely honest about how we
feel all the time. Well, if that's true, then shouldn't
a criminal be authentic to their nature as well? Is
(01:34):
authenticity an absolute value no matter what the context? I
feel pasood, Hello, and welcome to true rocket science. In
(02:01):
this analysis, we're going to examine Coburger's own words. He
may not have spoken in court, but he has railed
extensively in the past, especially online, about his gripes with
the world. And what do you think he emerges? Is
it a hatred of others? Well, what emerges isn't so
much a hatred of others but of himself.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
With a seatbelt like this, I didn't shock as I
was coming up, So that's why I asked y, usually
I should. I noticed you weren't wearing it. And I'm
on this emphasis.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
And I think to some extent, people who hate life,
and to some extent even themselves, feel like they need
to prove that they right and someone else's wrong all
the time. That's one way they get validation. Now, you
don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to piece together coburger psychology,
and you don't have to be a psychologist either. You
(02:55):
do have to be curious and you have to put
in some effort. So let me ask you when you
saw Coburger court blank rigid, expressionless. Did you think he's
been like that his entire life? Let me ask you again,
put up your hand if you think Coburger has been
numb and blank his entire life.
Speaker 3 (03:18):
Are you out of your fucking mind?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
You've just seen Coburger at the traffic stop. Did he
seem blank?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Then?
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Did the people that he gave classes to think that
he was blank? Was that the first thing they said
when they spoke about him? Did you notice at one
point in court Coburger glanced at the judge without turning
his head. His black eyes simply swiveled in those large
empty sockets towards the judge and back again. Do you
think nothing is going on in his mind? It's easy
(03:47):
to misinterpret that blankness as dumbness. It's also easy to
forget what led up to this. Can we have another
show of hands?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
Now?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Who here likes to call Coburger a psychopath? Do you
think Coburgert was born a psychopath? What would you say
if I told you there's a very simple way for
any person, for every person to become a psychopath, Yes,
even you, yes, even me. Just become addicted to something.
(04:18):
Someone addicted to their phone, who doesn't notice anything going
on in the world around them. Is also like a numb, dumb,
empty psychopath. Have you been on your phone for extended
periods while the people around you sort of recede into
nothingness where you don't notice them. You don't notice what
they're saying, you don't notice what they're asking, you don't
(04:39):
notice their needs. The difference is Coburger, once upon a time,
wanted to be numb, needed to be numb, wanted to escape,
needed to escape, and then woke up one day and
he was numb. Woke up one day and he had escaped,
But then he wanted to feel again. He wanted to
plug back into societ. But the damage was done. The
(05:02):
important thing to note in that little anecdote is what
he wants to be numb? Why? Because his feelings are
overwhelming him. He needs to be numb, why because of
the surf haid of feelings that he's feeling. And then
he achieves this numbness only to want to come back
to kind of a kind of his humanity. So you
(05:24):
might say, the damage was done? What damage? What caused
this damage? Well, addiction, Well this so we're not going
to talk about Coburger's heroine period. That's interesting. We're just
gonna kind of schizophrenically say, this guy we have right
in front of us has been like this all along,
(05:45):
has been like that all along. But what happens when
we think a little bit about his backstory and we
deal with the known literature regarding heroin use? Right, and
so look at the the ineffective emotion regulation strategies of
heroin use disorder patients. Emotional regulation refers to the ability
(06:08):
to influence which emotions we feel, when we feel them,
and how we express or experience them. Now, you might say, yeah,
drug addicts go through that, not the rest of us.
We don't watch movies or television, or listen to music,
or eat particular food or expose ourselves to particular social
media when we have a particular need to feel something,
(06:31):
just drug addicts do. Now, for many substance abuses, even
recognizing an emotion is difficult. Let me say that again.
For many substance abuses, even recognizing an emotion is hard
for them, never mind trying to have any sense of
influence over them. So, in other words, they are overwhelmed
(06:51):
constantly by their own feelings and they're trying to get
some distance some way to manage what they're feeling. Is
particularly true if they've experienced trauma or chronic persistent stress
where they've had to numb to survive. Think about those words,
they've had to numb to survive. Have you ever been
(07:12):
in that situation? Or is this just a purview of psychopaths,
criminals and sort of rarely chronic addicts. Have you ever
broken up with a person or being broken up with
and it felt like you didn't want to carry on living,
felt like you were being destroyed just simply by your
own broken heart, and where you also felt in order
(07:32):
to survive this you need to be numbed, that it
was hard just to breathe. Have you ever experienced that,
is that someone who doesn't experience anything or is overwhelmed
by their own feelings. Have you ever been in a
situation where the people around you, not one or two,
but a group, for whatever reason, decided that you were
(07:54):
persona non grata, that you were a good target either
to be bully or to be ridiculed, or to be
sort of cast out, to be sort of treated as
an outsider. Not a very nice feeling that now, if
we simply gloss over one news story, this one from
January thirteenth, twenty twenty three, in the New York Times.
(08:17):
We already get a very global overview of Coburger's psychology,
but more important, in his own words, I do murders.
Suspect felt no emotion and little remorse as a teen. Wow.
I think that means he was a psychopath all along.
It's true. Messages an online post on the PhD student
(08:40):
now charged with four murders show that he was once
detached and worse before he became fascinated with criminal minds.
Oh so, I think he didn't feel anything to begin with,
and that's why I like criminals, because he felt that
he had something in common with them. Right, well, a
very valid question which came first the mental health chicken
(09:03):
or did heroine scramble those eggs first? According to the article,
Coberger wrote years ago of having very negative thoughts that
he didn't want to be alive in it anymore. He
was not being able to feel emotions, and he was
observing his own life as if it were a video game.
(09:24):
By the way, a video game is another way to
simply be so disassociated from the world that you don't
really feel anything. For the world and to become so
immune to emotion because of the amounts of destruction and
mayhem that take place in these video games, the overstimulation
(09:45):
that when you step away from the video game, everything
else pales by comparison. People seem to be like cardboard
cutouts like they are in video games. And so he
said that he could do whatever I want with little remort.
Did you ever think that at the age of fifteen
you would be a full blown heroin addict.
Speaker 5 (10:07):
No, it's not like you wake up one day and
think that you're going to be a heroin addict. It
just solely progresses from the small stuff part alcohol cigarettes,
and it just keeps going.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
It's very interesting to me that Coburger's crisis starts when
he's a teenager, just like this addict in the clip.
And so, how were you when you're fifteen years old?
Were you very settled and happy in the world? If
you're not the most good looking person, is life very
hunky dory? Especially in high school at around sixteen after
(10:42):
years of using heroin. Coburger likely uses heroin because of
another crisis, being bullied at school and his inability to
get a girlfriend even then, And of course there are
other things going on at home, double bankruptcies. What's that like?
How much fun is that?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
You can't stand?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
You're already doing a bit of hair win in SICKI
Pop's aggy pop whatever?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
I mean?
Speaker 3 (11:08):
The guy's dead anyway.
Speaker 4 (11:10):
Not Daddy tooled last year told me when to see him.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
The point is, you've got to find something new. She
was right.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
I had to find something new.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And the fact that he keeps repeating that his life
feels like a video game also tells you what his
frame of reference is then and what he's doing with
his time between sessions in terms of I mean getting high.
It's actually a measure of healthy mental health where you say, wow,
you know, I'm starting to see life like it's a
(11:42):
video game. I think there's something wrong with that. Or
that is actually someone who's somewhat self aware that someone's
realizing these feelings I have aren't really right. But what
do I do about them? Now? We know about all
of this because Coburger reached out online in an online
forum where he discussed his mental health struggles, as well
(12:03):
as from interviews with those who knew him and messages
he send to friends that were obtained by the New
York Times. Now, what's interesting is he didn't reach out
online to insul forums. He reached out to people that
were struggling with things like visual Snow he was identifying
with them.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Well, you don't have it. You're just kind of like,
don't talk to me alone. You know, you're just this
whole different person. So you've tried to call hotlines.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
If you're alone and aloner, How do you reach out
to anybody If the reason you're doing this is because
you don't have any friends or even a girlfriend, how
do you reach out well online, I guess. Another interesting
question is whether he was a psychopath before he took Heroin.
What do you think or did the heroine use turn
(12:50):
him into one? Because he seems to observe his own
self suddenly unable to feel anything. Doesn't that mean once
upon a time he did feel something?
Speaker 4 (13:00):
Seems however, a really un the luckiest guy in the world,
several years of a diction, right in the middle of
an epidemic, surrounded by the living dad, but not me.
I'm negative. It's official, and once the pain goes away,
that's when the real battle starts. Depression, boredom. He feels
so fucking loyal.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Of course, Coburger's life wasn't a process. He was simply
a psychopath all along, a criminal all along. You know
that wouldn't have anything to do with pumping tanker loads
of chemicals into his body, now, would it feeding pain?
Do you see after a year or more of heavy
drug use of a particularly bad drug, that he wakes
(13:42):
up and he goes, huh weird, I'm having trouble feeling shit.
I was feeling a lot of feelings and then I
did this in order not to feel anything. But now
I'm ready to feel something again, except I can't.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by
a thousand in a still nowhere neither intent.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
One of the after effects of heroin use, surprise, surprise,
is impotency. Well obviously, bozo. If you burn away your
pleasure centers, of course you're going to feel numb. So overall,
in these online posts that no one is remembering today,
Coburger paints supported of an anxious, isolated, and depressed teenager
(14:32):
who turns to heroin use before eventually getting clean and
becoming fascinated with studying criminal psychology. So what does he
really do? He cleans up his act, tries to go
in the straight and narrow, only to be left out
after all of that effort. It's kind of a heroic
effort to come out of that and try and build
(14:53):
up his life again, only to find it doesn't really matter.
No one really cares. He's on the outside, no one
really likes him. But look at those words anxious, isolated,
and depressed as a teenager. Now, how many of us
didn't feel exactly those same feelings? And were we psychopaths
(15:13):
to these reasons when you've got ahead on instead, what
you really need are reasons when you come out the
other side. But what happens when you come out the
other side and society still hates you? Well, now you
really need reasons, And what if the reasons that you
do come up with aren't very positive? Feelings of resentment,
(15:33):
feelings of rejection, feelings of anger and helplessness. But one
thing that it is not is not feeling, not having feelings,
whatever those feelings are. Though, of course the rest of
your life from that point onwards of using heroin is
going to be one big disappointment. It's easy to feel
pretty resentful about that as well.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
You're playing with fire and you're going to go burned.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
If this is the explanation, how do you say it?
How do you tell this story in court? What are
you supposed to say? Where are you supposed to begin? Well,
he could say, I feel like an organic sack of
meat with no self worth. That's what he wrote in
twenty eleven, when you're sixteen years old, adding later in
the same post, as I hug my family, I look
(16:20):
into their faces, I see nothing. It is like I'm
looking at a video game, but less. He does actually
identify a very important part that is underpinning all of this.
No self worth, and that is something that you also
experience and feel self worth. And what do you think
heroin does to that? Well, it takes that little bit
(16:41):
that is there, takes it away, strips it away. And
so what are the classic regular and long term heroin
use symptoms? Well, a strong feeling of sadness, insomnia, and
mental disorders. And how many of these were Brian Coburger's
a lot? What does it mean when you don't care?
(17:03):
When you numb? What does it look like? Alright, I'm
not going to take it further than that, but I
put up a poll on my channel why didn't the
psychopathic coburger kill Dylan Mortensen as well. If you haven't
voted in that, please do and we'll examine that in
the next episode. Thank you for listening, and I'll see
you guys next time.
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