EPS 019 - R. Kelly Begs For A Pardon, ICE Protests Spark Martial Law & Cheyenne Bryant On Love Bombing- - Truth Talks LIVE

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh hi there, how you doing? Welcome to uh walking
to space. I gotta ask you something and I want
you to keep it a hundred with me, like, let
me know actually what's going on. You ever had an
encounter with love that kind of felt like a war
zone just a little bit?

Speaker 2 (00:19):
You know?

Speaker 3 (00:19):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
I know you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 (00:21):
And a lot of times we don't even see it coming,
like there's red flags.

Speaker 5 (00:25):
You just dismissed just because you feel like it's part
of a healthy pattern, when my alln actuality is really
toxicity forming love bombing, trauma bonding, the idea that you
feel like you need to be ride or die to
the point where.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Not only are you being manipulated by them, but you're
manipulating yourself. Huh see look here today, we're not here
to sugarcoat that conversation. We was gonna give it to
you all unfiltered for the culture, by the culture.

Speaker 3 (00:52):
Huh have you ever asked, why do I.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
Keep attracting the same energy? Why can't I give me
a man's strong on his principles essay.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Dmitria or something like that, you know, just something like that.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
You know what I'm saying, if that's you, let's get
into it right now on Truth Talks starting it. Are
you all ready to roll?

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Let ya? Wow? Well hello, Dmitri, how are you?

Speaker 2 (01:34):
I'm well?

Speaker 3 (01:34):
How are you? Energy is flowing through the screen like crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I'm not mad at you.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
If your dms are filled right now and the comments
are blowing up.

Speaker 4 (01:46):
It's god, It's oh God, America.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Dmitri Wiley our next superstar, lookout for him, our current superstar,
Doctor Shy and Brian, how are you, my sister.

Speaker 6 (01:56):
I am all in the dms. Dimitri m so it
is not a secret. I'm okay with that, and he
responds every time. I'm good every time.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
No, your love for him is so sweet and so real,
and I can feel it. It's very tangible. I love that.
Lauren Lake. Judge, Lauren, you have been fantastic on the
show all week. Really appreciate you bringing the funk and
the soul and the spirit and all the legal brilliance.

Speaker 7 (02:25):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 8 (02:26):
I'm excited to be here and hopefully Dmitri and Doctor
Bryan won't end up in my courtroom.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
No promise. We're a little it's a little fire and
fire here I'm here if you need.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm gonna file suit just because I want to see
the confrontation. I want to sell you.

Speaker 6 (02:42):
I got faternity matters, honey, Paternity man concernity matters, honey.

Speaker 3 (02:46):
Let's try some treading topics before Dmitri and Cheyen become
the treading topic treading truths. R Kelly wants a part
and his lawyers are asking President Trump for a party
because he says the Feds are setting him up in
prison to be killed. He's alleging a plot to kill
him where the Fed sent a member of a white
supremacist organization to kill him. So let's pivot from talking

(03:10):
about the Diddy trial to another felon who claims he
was wrongfully accused in his Rico conviction. Let's take a
look at this video about the R. Kelly situation.

Speaker 9 (03:19):
Right now, the legal team for R and B singer R.
Kelly files an emergency motion asking for his immediate release
from federal custody. They say Kelly's life is in imminent danger.
They claim federal authorities are behind a plot to have
him killed. Kelly is housed at the Federal penitentiary in
North Carolina, where he's serving a thirty year sentence for

(03:40):
sexual misconduct. His attorneys claim high ranking prison officials solicited
one inmate to steal Kelly's mail and another to murder him.

Speaker 10 (03:50):
These are people who seek to kill mister Kelly rather
than allow the corrupt criminal conduct of those who manufactured
his convictions be exposed.

Speaker 9 (04:06):
And Kelly's attorneys say they are seeking a conversation with
President Trump because Kelly doesn't have time to seek a
pardon through normal channels.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Just let's take this at two different levels. First of all,
does R. Kelly have a leg to stand on? We
know that prison is extraordinarily dangerous. People do get murdered.
We know that there are a lot of white supremacists
in prison and that makes life very difficult and dangerous
for black people in there. But does R. Kelly have
a right to then go to a court and say,

(04:37):
somebody's trying to kill me, the fens might have done it.
You got to let me out.

Speaker 8 (04:40):
Well, I mean, that's a discretionary act by the governor
on the state level. But he's top about he going
for a presidential party, Okay, And I look as a.

Speaker 7 (04:51):
Former criminal defense attorney, I really don't blame him.

Speaker 8 (04:54):
Everybody knows we're in anything go cycle right now, all right,
the person who holds the office of president is basically
doing what he wants to do, how he wants to
do it.

Speaker 4 (05:05):
And if R.

Speaker 8 (05:06):
Kelly can somehow get his calls and his plea in
front of the president, listen, A presidential pardon is not
symbolic of innocence. It's basically forgiveness from the president, meaning
he has discretion to just say, you know what, he's
done enough, I think he served his time, or either
I didn't like the case against him, whatever it is.

(05:27):
He doesn't even have to say I don't think he's
not guilty. It's I'm gonna pardon him. And look, if
you're gonna try all the stops, if you sitting in
prison for decades, why wouldn't you try all the stops.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
So of course you're gonna try everything, doctor B I
wonder if R. Kelly has a leg to stand on here.
As far as the story that he's trying to crap
that the FEDS are trying to conspiring with inmates to
murder him, I imagine if an inmate were to say
to somebody, the Fed's called me, asked you to murder
r Kelly. That would be very bad look for the Feds.

(06:03):
And they already have him in prison for a very
long time. They trapped him. He's where they He's already
where they wanted to be. I'm not sure that they're
trying to murder him. On top of that, what do
you think.

Speaker 6 (06:15):
I don't think anybody's interested in murdering him. Last I checked,
he was having full blown concerts in there and providing
entertainment for all the inmates. Of anything. I think they
want him to stay right there. On a serious you know,
I don't see what he's doing not being something that
doesn't make sense. Again, if you have a lot of

(06:37):
time in prison, you are smart to try to figure
out what can you do, if anything, to get out
a pardon, your attorney coming in and saying, hey, there's
disparities going on in here. If he can use a
black car, the black man card, the criminal reform card,
I mean shit, it doesn't matter what crime you did.
If you're in there and your freedom taken away, then

(06:58):
as long as you're alive. I think people should fight.
As much as people may not agree with me, I
think if you can, I think you should fight. Do
I think that Trump will part of him. No, I
think Trump will pardon Diddy before he pardons Kelly. I'll
tell you that much for sure.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Uh Dmitri. You know, I am sure that R. Kelly
is vulnerable in prison. I am sure that there are
white inmates and maybe some black in maids maybe who
want to murder him. So at any moment in prison
you are in danger. Do you think that the Feds
conspire to kill him?

Speaker 11 (07:33):
No?

Speaker 2 (07:35):
I do not.

Speaker 4 (07:36):
And see to think about it is this is a
very touchy subject for me because R Kelly was Chicago
at one point, from the music to the we praise
him at the cookouts, he was at the weddings, black
all the black parties.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
R Kelly music was Chicago. He made us move right.

Speaker 4 (07:52):
And I'll even give you this to a degree, we've
never trusted the fids. I've seen the Feds not know
who to conviny, so they selected one of the accused
and made him the king pin.

Speaker 2 (08:03):
I've seen it. I've seen it both waves. I've seen it.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
But two things could be true at this at the
exact same time, and R Kelly being innocent is not
one of those two things.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
R Kelly did.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
From the videos, to the to the little girls, to.

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Everything r Kelly ran behind, the patterns, the survivors, everything
related to r Kelly.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
This wasn't no setup.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
I called this probably like three weeks ago, saying, it'll
be very smart for r Kelly to ask for.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
A presidential pardon from Trump.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
Why because he's trying to buy into the black community
and let out everybody that he think we care about
so that he'll be in our good favor. But no,
I kind of seen this coming and tried again r Kelly, Lauren.

Speaker 3 (08:45):
You know, if I thought this president or any president
was saying, hey, there were mistakes in this case. We
need to relook at this. Something wrong happened in this situation.
I have the power to make, you know, to make them.
But that's not what happened. I am friends with that person.
I like that person. They gave me a million dollars.

(09:06):
I'm going to pardon them. That's not an appropriate usage
of the pardon power.

Speaker 8 (09:12):
No, but that's what listen, that's the presidential part. And
first of all, he can't go on the state level
because he got convicted of a rico, which is a
federal charge, So he can't even seek a pardon from
the governor, he has to go to the president, so
he's going where he needs to go.

Speaker 7 (09:25):
But as we talked about all week long.

Speaker 8 (09:28):
This is honestly a person in R. Kelly's position, this
is the perfect scenario. I basically have a person who
holds the office of president that's doing what he wants
to do based upon how he feels on that day,
And to Dimitri's point, if it gains him favor, if
he feels like he needs that favor on that day
of the week, then there may be a chance he'll

(09:48):
do it. Personally, I don't think so. I agree with
doctor Brian. If he was going to pardon anybody, I
think it would lean towards Diddy, then it would R.

Speaker 7 (09:56):
Kelly.

Speaker 8 (09:57):
But the fact that he is approaching this, the fact
that his counsel is basically trying to say his life
is in danger. I'm trying to figure out the motives
for him going after him though, And it's said in
the piece that it's because they don't want it to
come out how they framed him. Now, he had a

(10:20):
lot of witness testimony of underage girls.

Speaker 7 (10:26):
I don't really.

Speaker 8 (10:26):
Get that connection, but I will say this, if is
anybody that don't need a connection and no docks to
connect to do whatever.

Speaker 7 (10:34):
The hell you want to do.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
We know who that is. I mean, look, if you
were framed, you had time in court to bring all
that up and get your high priced lawyers to gout
that down. Nobody framed you. You did a lot of
horrible stuff, and now you're paying for it. We move
on to something a little more perhaps a little more
painful for me as a parent. Clara Adams, a sixteen

(10:58):
year old high school track star in caliber Bornia, was
disqualified for spraying a fire extinguisher in celebration on her
shoes after she won the state championship. The video about
this is crazy. It might make you sad at pragically
baby cry. Let's take a look at this story.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Hi for a clue card for that title.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
This girl won her four hundred meters sprint with a
fantastic time fifty three twenty four, and then she goes
and sprays her shoes with the fire extinguisher, mimicking a
famous celebration by Maurice Green when he ran in the
Olympics and that sprayed his shoes. Oh my shoes are
on fire, because I'm so fast. Okay, So the RAIS

(11:57):
officials told young Clara, sixteen year old, her conduct was
unsportsman like and they disqualified her from the entire four
hundred and the two hundred, which she was also running
when there was no celebration. The h Dmitri, what is
happening here? It feels like they're policing black joy. I'm
not sure why this is so egregious, Why we're coming

(12:19):
down so hard on this girl for this?

Speaker 2 (12:21):
What do you.

Speaker 4 (12:22):
See for a young girl to do fifty three point
twenty four. I actually used to run, you know what
I'm saying. Back in the day, I got a little,
I gotta little. You used to be a little fire
under these boots, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
I don't know what you said Toory, but fifty three point.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
Two four it's something to be proud of. Yeah, I
think you're you're penalizing a young woman for being too happy.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
She did too well. And the thing about it is,
I get it.

Speaker 4 (12:48):
It's a fire extinguisher, But this celebration is something she replicated,
something she's seen out of joy and wanted to emulate it,
just like anybody would at an NBA finals of actual
y Z. But you know it's funny for me, and
this is always existing. When it's a white boy or
white girl, or white man or white woman celebrating, it's
called passion.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
When it's a.

Speaker 4 (13:10):
Black young boy, black young girl, black man, or black woman,
it's called show voting. And that's exactly what I've never
liked in this country because our joys cannot be we
can't even celebrate our own joy I love the jesh.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
I think she was on fire. So baby, put yourself out.

Speaker 3 (13:26):
I feel you, I feel you, Lauren. This story is
really sad to me because the girl adds a little
flair to her celebration and the officials freak out. And
I'd really like to see the adults in this situation
have more grace and patience with this sixteen year old
girl and give her a warning and talk to her
and explain to her their position rather than quickly disqualifying

(13:48):
her from the whole thing and having her walk away
with tears and this traumatic moment. It's not gentle parenting,
it's just saying, hey, give the girl a talking to
rather than this stiff penalty.

Speaker 8 (14:01):
Listen, there is historic reference and context to this that
people don't want to talk about, but it's been real
for young black women, we have been regarded. I mean, look,
there have been full medical procedures performed on us without anesthesia.
The way we're perceived in the world is that we're

(14:22):
adults right when we're kids. So many of us have
been responsible for raising younger siblings. So many of us
have had to stand in the gap while our parents
work night shifts and take care of our younger brothers
and sisters. There is a regard towards young black girls.
Look and black boys and black men have their own thing,
but for black girls, it's almost like we don't hurt,

(14:45):
we don't have pain, we don't deserve joy.

Speaker 7 (14:48):
We're here to work, we're here to perform, We're here
to achieve. And I think this is this is a
part of this.

Speaker 8 (14:57):
Now people will say maybe I'm reaching, but I don't
see that because what I see is it was just
so easy to disappoint her. It was just so easy
to snatch, you know, as Dimitri said, the joy from her,
when there were so many other opportunities, as you said, Toray,
to extend her grace, to ever learn a lesson. Now,

(15:20):
had this been written down in the rules. Did every
coach go through a bunch of rules? And look, I
do not know. I'm gonna tell you right now, so
I don't know if it was read out, but let's
also be honest, and if it was, I doubt if
they had in the rules don't emulate track star so
and so fire extinctus. And let's be clear, she probably

(15:43):
didn't go alone and get the fire extinguisher.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
I think her.

Speaker 8 (15:45):
Dad admitted like this was something that we were so
excited we were gonna emulate this track star. So I
say this to say, for young black girls are innocence right,
It's stolen so young, and I hate it for that.
For her, as I looked at her sitting at that
table saying she worked so hard, I saw not just

(16:06):
the metal being ripped from her, not just her achievement,
but also her innocence. And I hated to see it
because they could have done something better.

Speaker 6 (16:14):
Yeah, you know, I mean to piggyback off what everyone said.
This is similar to the Sanders family. When we celebrate,
it's looked at as arrogance. When other you know, culture
celebrate is looked at as celebratory. I think the only
thing that needs to be focused on is that she
won the race. She won the race, her training, her skill,

(16:39):
her legs, her speed won the race. The fact that
she did something that was not acceptable to this organization
or this high school should have been a moment where
it was a teaching moment. Well, she should have just
been reprimended. Absolutely, But this is the moment where you
pull her aside and say, listen, cool, congratulations, we don't

(17:01):
do that here, So let us show you what you
don't do here. Now has she proceed to do it
a second time, third time? Cool, No problem, because you
already explained to her in the family that is not
what we do here. But again it is definitely to
Judge Lawrence's point, it's you know, when we do something,
they look at us as as a loud race, a

(17:21):
loud culture, and so they attempt to demonize that so
they can take away the joy of all right, can't
you just take your win and go? Can't you just
take your win and sit down? But for some families,
and I know, like my niece Kennedy Bryant, she is
like the second or third fastest little girl in the nation,
and she goes to the Junior Olympics every year, yeah.
Look he up Junior Olympics every year. And let me

(17:42):
tell you something, if my baby got to fire extinguish
in them shoes, first of all, Auntie would be on
the field spraying along winter and they did this, I
would get every organization, including the ones that I that
I am the chair of, and we would fight this
tooth and nail, and we wouldn't fight to allow her
to celebrate, because I believe, even following rules, we would
fight to allow her to have her win, because when

(18:03):
a child works that hard, they do deserve to have
their win. Even if you say, look, you can't celebrate,
give her win. This baby girl won.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
You're absolutely right that she won fair and square. And
I'm like, how are you erasing the race because of
the celebration, Because during the fifty three seconds that we
had to get across the line, she got across there first.
There's video, nobody can can question that. So whatever happens after,
I don't understand how that disqualifies right and the parents.

(18:31):
The adults are way out of line here, and I'm
glad for once the doctor Bean's on the side of
a more gentle approach to the children. Let them make mistakes.

Speaker 7 (18:41):
Have a soft place, still.

Speaker 6 (18:46):
Says she should be recommended. But this is not a
moment where you pow power her. This is a moment
where you say, baby, listen, we would.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Love to sell.

Speaker 3 (18:54):
Maybe you gotta wait for you to get into.

Speaker 6 (18:55):
The Olympics to this, Maybe I gotta wait for this, right,
this is that moment where this young lady just needed
to have a conversation. She didn't threaten anyone, She didn't
spray anybody else in the face. She everything was self inflicted.
If we're looking at it, what did she do? She
didn't spray the official, she didn't spray the other kids
or the other teams.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
Wait for everybody to do it. But as the judges noting,
black celebration, especially in an athletic context, has been politicized
in this country. There was a time when the NFL
was like, no celebrating and if you do any sort
of flair, even though the fans love it, you're gonna

(19:34):
get a flag. And like the notion of us celebrated.
Even think about us running away when we laugh, right
because on the place laugh. So we want to be
like high black joy like it's it's painful doc that
we are quite often asked to hide our joyful emotions.

Speaker 6 (19:53):
No, no, totally absolutely, and just really quick, we me
and jimt You're on a world tour together, a world
speaking to together, and he knows that when they introduced
me on stage, I am the most celibratory person on
that panel, and I'm telling you, I go crazy. But
it is a cultural thing. It's like, but I have

(20:14):
to say this, if you know our boss, the dude
who's the founder of it A said, look, Doc, we
just don't do that here. That's not our culture. I
would have liked that conversation. I would stop because that's
not the culture of let's just say that that that
you know, business, that company. But to your pointy, I
wouldn't want to be reprimanded to the point where I'm fired.
I lose my position, I lose my role, and it's.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Like, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 6 (20:35):
I didn't even know. If you had this conversation, I
know how to follow follow cod better next time.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
The real question, Doc, is if me and Dmitri lined
up for one hundred yard dash, who would win? One
hundred meter?

Speaker 4 (20:47):
Toy toy, don't even don't entertain this nonsense, because.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
When was the last last time he sprinted.

Speaker 7 (21:01):
But let me tell.

Speaker 6 (21:02):
You, you would win because you are in there, because
you're a spirit form, and ancestors can.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Get from from your inform spirit form then.

Speaker 6 (21:12):
Get from from yard one to yard one hundred way
quicker than you to meet you, because you're still a
human forms, still a human.

Speaker 3 (21:22):
I want to answer the questions for real. No, to
beat you, I would, I would cook you.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
Okay, cool, sure, I cook you up.

Speaker 3 (21:29):
I've still my daughter at sixteen, she's still track star
at her school. Can't just told you were cooking me?

Speaker 2 (21:34):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (21:35):
All right?

Speaker 6 (21:36):
Oh, I got a question to I got a question.
Love this if your baby girl did this same celebratory act,
right and they told her she smoked everybody else and
she won like this And they said, listen, sorry, you
don't get the w You don't get it. As a parent,
how do you respond out to your daughter, but to
the critics, how do you respond to the dolts? So
the folks, the judges, what do you say?

Speaker 3 (21:56):
Well, no, as they said, we got to have a
conversation about how we are responding to the child's actions
and if we want to agree that the child's actions
are not appropriate in this venue. Okay, but like, how
are we teaching her that? How we panalized? Did we
know that before? Like did was this clearly stated to
the folks like no props or no, that wasn't stated.

(22:20):
I just need much more of a patient response with
the children, because I don't want any of the kids
to come to a meet and walk away crying because
of what the adults did. She's going to carry this pain.
It was just a long time. She's clearly a track star.
Maybe she goes to the next meet and she's still
feeling that pain from the last beat. Like, I don't
want her to walk away, any of them to walk

(22:41):
away in pain like that because of an adult decision.

Speaker 6 (22:45):
And even in that news clip when she was doing
her interview, her spirits are completely broken. And if that
was her father who was in the clip, he also
looked very emotionally broken. And that's the part that said,
is me, it's like that. I believe was an intention
was to break this little girl those spirits so that
when she goes on, hopefully she won't have the confidence
to continue to be as good as she is. Although

(23:06):
we know we don't operate like that as black folks.
We rise and rise again but her spirit breaking to
me is what was most heartbreaking from me. I'm like,
this little girl worked her ass off, and this is
you're okay with breaking her spirits. You're not okay with
empowering her and just making this the learning experience.

Speaker 8 (23:23):
But that's the point. That's the point. We've seen it
with Dion Sanders. The conversation continues every time black people
approach a win or some type of accomplishment with joy,
with saying like yes, I am that girl, Yes I
am that guy.

Speaker 7 (23:38):
There's something about us.

Speaker 8 (23:40):
We always have to be humble, right and when people
express things a different way, when they say, no, I've
got the juice, my feet are so you know what
I'm saying. Listen, look at Jakari. It happened with her.
There's been so many instances of this kind of systemic
humbling of black athletes where I think we have to
begin to Number one is black people beyond beyond alert

(24:03):
right now. And look, I'm all about accountability, so let
me keep it real. Wants daughters maybe said, or dad said,
let's do the fire extinguisher. I'm a believer as well.
There's a teaching moment in Dad, daughter, let's take that
extra step. Let's look at the rules. So we got
an argument to stand on and make sure there is

(24:24):
nothing seated that would bar us from doing this. So
we have something to stand on now. Even with that said,
you don't have to do that to a child. But
I'm saying there are steps we can do as well
to protect ourselves when we know that there's going to
be an attempt to humble us.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
Look at your door.

Speaker 7 (24:40):
Look what we all just witness with him.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
No, I know I want to see.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
That's all I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (24:47):
Listen, we ain't leaven here.

Speaker 4 (24:48):
With nothing I know from around the way if this
was my daughter, I promise you all, y'all.

Speaker 6 (24:57):
And this testing moment, this is a protesting moment. This
is when you could peacefully have these folks outside this
school from every organization, signing petitions and then saying hold on,
we want to press the judges because we're not okay,
you don't play around with somebody's child. When that child
did what's right, you gotta do that. She Kiri came
back and responded real good.

Speaker 3 (25:18):
Cari said, I think it's important to analogize one. I
think it's important to not analogize her with adults, because
I would be okay with adults getting penalties where it's
like you should have known better, whereas with the child,
I think it's important to affirm the child and have
the child just have some patience. We don't want to

(25:39):
punish the child so quickly, like let the child learn
in a way that she's not dealing with punishment. You know,
it was not necessary to get her to understand, so you.

Speaker 8 (25:49):
Don't want to do You make a great point to Ray,
and especially since the father admitted I was aligned on
this celebration, I think that that is a point that
we have to put in their that we value.

Speaker 7 (26:01):
She didn't just go do this alone.

Speaker 8 (26:02):
Her dad also knew she was going to do it,
and so now you know, like this isn't a kid
just trying to act out, She's just trying to celebrate.
Her dad didn't think it was wrong. She didn't think
it was wrong. And then I hate that they missed
the moment. All the kids there idolized this young girl
at that point. That girl could have told them whatever
she wanted to tell them, and they would have idolized her.

(26:23):
If Terray, like you said, she was given the opportunity
to speak to other kids to say, you know what,
in hindsight, the way I handled that, I could have
done that differently, or I could have checked the rules.
She could have impacted so many young kids instead of
just being broken.

Speaker 7 (26:38):
She could have been a bridge. She could have been
a bridge, but instead they wanted to break her.

Speaker 6 (26:42):
And I want to say, you know, discipline is for disobedience.
Where was she disobedient? That's where I'm saying, Torey, it's
not about gentle parenting. I don't see where she was disobedient.
They have not told us that. They say that they
presented her with rules that she she intentionally broke. This

(27:03):
young lady did not disobediently intentionally say I know the rules,
I'm going to break it. Let's go. And then let
me say this really quick. If she's running in my
race and this is my school and my organization, I
have the responsibility to say, hey, these are the rules,
this is what we're doing, or this is the documentation
of how we're running. This little girl's were running all
her life. She ain't running this fast because this is

(27:23):
her first race, first her first heat, her first meeting.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
I think it's clear that she should not have done
that my problem is with the way that the officials
and the adults handled it.

Speaker 6 (27:35):
I explain that.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
How I can understand. We don't want every sixteen year
old to pull out a fire extinguisher or something every
time they win, or even what like. I understand that,
But I'm saying, let's not punish her so harsh. Let's
have a conversation and figure this out. But I'm not
doing I think is clear. But what I think is
also going to be important for her is because she's

(28:00):
very fast. So there's some college coach who will want
her to run on his or her track team, and
I hope that that person can take this moment, speak
with her and get her in her right mind so
she can retain her love of track and get back
to the joy of running for her rather than rather
than wallowing this. But you know, you see, like some

(28:23):
black people are not fully understanding what happened here, and
some are saying this was ghetto, And I don't really
even appreciate putting that sort of tag on it. I mean,
I don't know that Maurice Green was ghetto when he
did that in the Olympics. I don't think that we
need to denigrate ourselves saying when we do something that

(28:44):
somebody doesn't like, it's ghetto. I mean, Dimitri, it's I
don't have a problem with what. I don't want to
I don't want to tag this as ghetto. If she
shouldn't have done it, then she shouldn't have done it.
But I don't think it has anything to do with that.

Speaker 4 (28:59):
It's not ghetto at all. But the problem is our
culture is the harshest on our own culture. We judge
ourselves to a standard we don't live by, Like the
idea of what that parents should have done, the idea
of what that child should have done. Nobody knows what
they would have done unless they was in that situation. Granted,
she might have admired that fire extinguished the act. She's

(29:20):
seen since she was younger and always wanted to do it,
And now it's her moment of winning and she does it,
and everybody want to tie to.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Oh the way she was raised or how she grew.

Speaker 4 (29:30):
Up an x y Z And it's probably ghetto people
making these ghetto ass comments. And that's my problem. People
don't understand how to let a child act be a child.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
But what do you think about the whole thing? Of
us saying something is ghetto just to denigrate it.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
It's it's it's we tend to make We try to
make things better than ourselves.

Speaker 5 (29:50):
We try to speak things to a level in which
we feel above.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
That's all that's going on.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Whoever whoever is making those comments saying this ghetto probably
feel they have ghetto tendencies in themselves. And I'm above this.
I would have never done xyz. People love to say
that with no proof in it. That's just me personally.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
Let me move into our politicking segment, because I love
that conversation. But Trumps took an unprecedented and probably unconstitutional
action sending the Marines and the National Guard into Los
Angeles in response to protests against ice raids. We have
a whole video about that. Let's look at that.

Speaker 11 (30:30):
About an eleven new video justin in as hundreds of
armed US Marines are deployed to protect federal buildings in
Los Angeles. These troops, wearing body armor and armed with
assault rifles now surrounding the Federal building in Westwood, along
with a number of military vehicles. It's a very rare
and controversial deployment of military forces on American soil. With
thousands taking to social SoCal streets Raveler for tomorrow's No

(30:53):
King's protests, their fears of violent confrontation could be sparked.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
Judge, I want to hear what you think about this.
We're deploying active duty soldiers on American streets. The military
is not supposed to be used against American citizens on
American soil, and yet here we are. People are talking
about maybe this is a step toward martial law or
something even worse. What do you think that's all it is.

Speaker 8 (31:19):
It's the military policing of citizens. I live here, and
it's sickening. It's sickening, and I'm at the point now
where I think we have to stop fooling ourselves and
maybe hoping that there is a better intention than what
we already know what the intention is. This is an example, right,

(31:43):
This is an example set. We're setting an example in
a state where you know, Governor Newsom has been you know,
very critical of Trump, and he's coming in here and
making an example of this state. It's citizens, and look
we see it now carrying on with a video we

(32:04):
covered earlier in the week in Florida with the share
right like this whole we're igniting a new energy. I
mean to look at this and think that it is
downtown Los Angeles to me, I mean, it's like we're
in a war zone. But we have to stop almost
thinking that it's so unbelievable and realize that this is

(32:24):
exactly what we're up against.

Speaker 7 (32:26):
There will only be more of it.

Speaker 8 (32:28):
And if I believe, unless I read incorrectly, but I
think that it.

Speaker 7 (32:33):
Was just upheld. The court upheld field Sport. Yes, yeah,
they upheld that. So here we are.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Yeah, demitrio, it's very frightening to see Trump expanding powers.
I guess in this way you're not supposed to do this,
and yet here we are. And those of us who've
been thinking about we're moving into a dictatorship and authoritarian state.
Perhaps Marshall, at some point this seems to be a first,

(33:03):
not first, another step toward that.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
I think now's the time we actually stopped fooling ourselves.
We stopped pretending they sent marines to handle people on
the street holding signs, chatting for freedom like that.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
That's really what we got going on.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
When people, if I remember correctly, when people can shoot
up a school full of students and be walked out,
escorted out, sometimes fed, like when a kid got an ar.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Fifteen shooting up a school or a grocery store.

Speaker 4 (33:45):
It ain't no rubber bullets, it ain't no military boots,
it ain't no gas masks. There's nothing to a degree
when we just chanting no justice, no peace, that's all
we's saying.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
And you know, I think the wildest part to me.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
Is that it's not shocking, no more like like, the
wildest part to me is that.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
I'm used to it.

Speaker 4 (34:11):
You know, I'm used to seeing us governed differently, Like
I'm used to seeing us treated differently for much peaceful
moments than we ever see these other people in you know.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
So for me, man, I think it's time we stop
fooling ourselves time.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
I think it's time we understand the nature of the
world we're living in and make sure you stay far
far away from any of where these problems will eventually erupt,
because anytime you bring weapons to a fight, weapons will
be used.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Demitri, I think that's really both said.

Speaker 3 (34:45):
I also think that it's really natural and common and frightening,
the numbness or the normal see that you experience this
with of like it seems like it's happened all the time.
This seems normal. It's not supposed to be normal. This
is highly a normal. This is highly chaotic, it's highly incorrect,
not supposed to be happening. Shai the mayor of La Cara,

(35:07):
Bass is saying, this is just a test to see
how far Trump can go as far as militarizing our streets.
What do you think about what she said?

Speaker 6 (35:17):
She's correct, and she also understands that Trump is purposely
creating the conditions of martial law. Martial law can only
be declared under certain conditions. One of those conditions is
a riot or huge rebellion. He's creating that now. The
other one is government collapse or has a breakdown. Well,
he's just arrested our congressman here, and he told Gavin

(35:40):
News and our governor Bru you're get arrested too. He
also told our mayor Bass you will also get arrested.
So he's trying to create this. Look at the dens,
look at the governments. They're collapsing. They can't even handle
their own city. And also our mayor put a curfew
on our people. Guess what a curfew is also one
of the conditions that allows you to declare marshal law,

(36:03):
and then to go further. He is attempting to make
it look like everyone is so out of order, the
government over there can't control this, and only under those
terms can you declare martial law. And whenever a president
takes over the national Guard, which the last time this
happened was in nineteen fifty seven with Eisenhower where he

(36:25):
took over the National Guard, but it was actually for
a reason. But whenever they take over the national Guard
and have the national Guard come and fight against our
own people on our own soil, that is one step
before they use a call for martial law. So we
are a lot closer to it than we think or
believe we are, because he's creating this exact environment like

(36:46):
he did when he appointed his own Supreme Court judges,
so that he can have all the qualifiity, even all
the things that he needed. This man is so strategic.
This is like the modern day Hitler. I'm telling you,
this man is the modern day Hitler. He is strategically
figuring out how to create and put everything in place
to play chess on all the things that he wants
to check made on. And that's just what's happening And
we're watching it, and it's very scary to be in LA.

(37:09):
I'm on the freeway and you got these big army
trucks And I told my mom, I said, Mom, she
goes army trucks. No, I'm talking about the big army
trucks with the opening in the back. And I'm like,
they're on the fucking freeway like and for me, I'm going, Wow,
I'm watching this man attempt to create marshal law right

(37:30):
in front of our face.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
Yeah, it's happening. Or you know, he's clearly probing to
see how far he can go, how much you will accept.
Today he's sending the military to back up Ice as
they do their job. Maybe next time it'll be to
intimidate us at a protest, at an anti Trump protest perhaps,
And I think we're gonna see going forward the fabric

(37:54):
of what this country's all about, how much we are
willing to push back. We saw when he tried to
do his birthday military parade, ten thousand people showed up.
No King's Day, millions of people showed up. So a
lot of people in this country were willing to come out,
even though they were worried that they might get arrested
or shot because the police and Trump are telling us

(38:16):
we'll shoot you if you protest on Trump's birthday. Okay,
we're coming out anywhere. And the way they had to
America wanting to protest, I just wonder how much pressure
is Trump going to put on us.

Speaker 6 (38:28):
And they had to pay volunteers, you know, that right
to stand with them behind him at his recent event.
It's like people don't even want to stand. This is
not even a red or blue Republican dim thing. Folks
do not want to be associated with your in proximity Trump.
You're having to pay people to stand with this man
just to stand there for a photo lot, for a
video lot. I mean it's getting Yeah, it's really bad.

(38:50):
And I don't think that I think he's going to
be able to succeed, which is scary with this martial
law thing, because I'm telling you we are one step
from and if you all look at Marshal Law for
the people in the chat, if you just read up
on it just a little bit, it is show you
that exactly the conditions that need to be happening are
exactly what's happening now. And It's sad because you've got

(39:12):
people who are protesting for their lives, for their livelihood
and for their families now understanding that they are literally
falling right into this rhetoric that Trump is needing for
his dictatorship to take place, or guess what, he doesn't
have to run again in twenty twenty eight. That is
his goal. That is his goal. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:26):
No, I think that's right, and that the likelihood of
him declaring some sort of national emergency that gets us
to we don't need to have an election, or we
can't trust the election results, we can't hold the election.
I think it's highly likely. And the sort of control
of the population that we're talking about, it may be
called martial law, it may come through another name, but

(39:48):
that same way of controlling us to sort of destroying
the Democratic Party, destroying the retort to Trump, any sort
of backlash to Trump, that could absolutely happen, and it
could be extremely frightening. And the more we received military
in our streets, in our daily lives, it's extraordinarily frightening

(40:08):
and nothing like any country we've experienced ever.

Speaker 6 (40:12):
And I think I'd be interested in seeing martial law
has to go through a judicial authority and approved by them.
And we know he owns the Congress, we know he
owns the seats. I know this, we know he owns
the Supreme Court. So obviously that's going to be more
than likely approved. But it is going to be interesting
to see how fast or if there's pushback from the JUDICSIHO,

(40:33):
the jujicsio level, or if they just fold for him
like everyone else has been, you know, in in those
branches thus far. I just really can't wait to see
how they handle that at the at the Supreme Court level.
It's gonna be very interesting.

Speaker 8 (40:48):
I just want people to understand as well, to be clear,
what they're doing. They're creating the civil unrest that then
then they're basing their need for martial law on like
they're ripping babies from their mother's arms.

Speaker 7 (41:03):
They're taking away and breaking up families.

Speaker 8 (41:06):
They're doing this and then declaring that the response, the trauma,
the screaming, the pouring into the streets in support, the
rage over this right is the reason why we need
military presence.

Speaker 7 (41:20):
I mean, it's the Oki.

Speaker 8 (41:21):
Doope of all times, and we have to be smart.

Speaker 7 (41:24):
And that's why we've talked about it earlier.

Speaker 8 (41:26):
This week, Black people, we gotta play chess and not
checkers on this. And I know some of our Latina
brothers and sisters are like, why in the world are
y'all not out here, because let me tell you something, baby,
the day we get out there, you talking about martial law,
and you talking about us getting arrested in droves, going
into jails and prisons, and then they got you working

(41:49):
for free from there. Okay, So it's just the new slavery.
We got to see the long play here, and I
don't feel like we're talking about that enough. We're just
it's almost like beat by beat by beat, they're they're
shocking our systems.

Speaker 7 (42:03):
You've got to see the long play.

Speaker 8 (42:06):
Yeah, yeah, labor, it's the new form of slavery implantation.

Speaker 3 (42:13):
No, I think it's absolutely right, and just the attempt
to silence any countervailing voices by any method through you know,
silencing protests, silencing media. You know, we see that all
over the place and it is extremely frightening. I want
to move on to our main topic, love bombing. We
made this one specifically for Dabitri. I think love bombing

(42:36):
is not love. It feels like passion, but it's really
just control. Love bombing is when somebody comes in hot, gifts, attention,
constant messages, future plan, telling you I love you way
early in the relationship, and you're like, maybe this is
what love really feels like, but no, that's not what
real love moves like. Real love takes time to build,

(42:58):
It takes time to earn, It takes time to figure
out how you feel about, how you connect, how you
love each other. Love bombing is like emotional colonization, right,
And some of us fall for love bombing because we've
never had real, healthy love actually modeled to us, and
we don't know what it really looks like. We think
we're being overwhelmed with affection equals being wanted, but you're

(43:22):
just being consumed and trapped. Love bombers come in hot
and then they get you all trapped. We have a
brother who's talking about it and talking about love in
a really interesting way. I want to look at ace metaphor.

Speaker 12 (43:37):
The reason that man is love bombing you is because
he know that if he doesn't convince you to fall
in love with him before you get to see his
true self, you'll never give him a chance. So what
I'm gonna do is I'm squeeze six months of dating
into six weeks.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
I need to.

Speaker 12 (43:51):
Shower you, bombard you, bomb you with gestures so that
you get your heart involved. I want you to fall
for me before you really who I am. This is
the only way I get you to love me. I
do not want a wife. I want a hostage. And
I know once I have your heart, you can't leave me.
So huntil the end. I'm gonna be that perfect guy.
I'm gonna apply pressure because I see your posts. I

(44:13):
see you telling me that you want a man that
applied pressure, that brings energy. But I'm gonna show you
all those things day after day after day, hour after
hour after hour.

Speaker 3 (44:22):
You're gonna tell your friends he must really love me.

Speaker 12 (44:25):
No, I just know that if I don't get you
to fall in love with me before you see that
true narcissistic tendencias inside myself, you will never give me
a chance.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
I'd have been this way all of my life.

Speaker 12 (44:37):
I'd've had women run away from me when I showed
them who I was from day one, and I've learned
never to do that again. I'm going to pretend to
be a good guy times ten because you ain't never
had a man that applied pressure the way I have
for six weeks. I'm gonna be the perfect man until
you fall in love with me Mitri.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
He makes a very powerful case for love bombing from
a place some male lack and male lack of self
esteem and lack of understanding or feeling that you are
worthy of love. What do you think about what he's saying,
because I because the Sisters rightly will say love bombing

(45:16):
is controlling and it's horrible. But he's saying, I'm doing
it because I don't feel like I am even worthy
of love.

Speaker 4 (45:24):
You know, it's a lot of different reasons why people
love bomb.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Some people do it for that reason specifically.

Speaker 4 (45:31):
Some people do it just as I can and I
like the challenge, so I will. Some people do it
just because they have time to waste the money to
blow tory. I tell people all the time. I got
a little podcast of my own. I say, if somebody
gonna love bomb you and they want to buy you
a burkin, first rule, I tell him, take it.

Speaker 3 (45:50):
Second rule, I tell him it's still very aware.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Listen, listen, girl, get.

Speaker 3 (45:55):
You calling take it.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
Listen.

Speaker 4 (45:57):
What I advocate most for is for people to be
mindful of the game that's being played, because if I
come in up front telling you you are all these
things before I know who you are as a person,
none of it matters. See, love bombing comes in when
I notice there's a lack in you. I notice you
lack confidence. I notice you lack the ability to stand

(46:19):
on your own. I know you feel like you need
a man, and you don't just want a man. That
need is what I playoff. You need to feel special
when you get up and look in the mirror in
the morning and you're telling me exactly what role I need.

Speaker 2 (46:32):
To play in your life to make that happen.

Speaker 4 (46:34):
All I want to advocate for women to know is
that you cannot be love bombed.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
You cannot be a victim of it.

Speaker 4 (46:41):
If you love yourself correctly, there is nothing a man
can value.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
There's nowhere a man can take you. There is no compliment.
Good see. Look, compliments are free all day long.

Speaker 4 (46:52):
You can copy and paste them all day, all day
of the week. Compliments are free. It costs you nothing.
But what cause lost is consistency.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
But why are we doing it? Why are men doing
it to women?

Speaker 4 (47:05):
Because honestly, a lot of men lack a lot of
men lacked the wherewithal to be themselves and allow a
woman to fully get to know them as a whole.
A lot of men feel like she's not gonna like
me if I don't X y Z, my character, my quality,
my self esteem in myself, what I have in myself
is not enough to win this woman over.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
So I got to buy this borking.

Speaker 4 (47:28):
I gotta take on this trip just to compete with
the man she's going to love genuinely.

Speaker 3 (47:33):
For being wis doc in your work and your experience?
What do you think about love bombing? And if you
can try to help us understand from your experience why
men are doing it?

Speaker 6 (47:44):
Love that great question, Trey. First great thing you said
all episode just plant but honesty, I mean you said,
why are men doing it? Well, let's keep it real.
You do have a group of women who actually want
to be love bombed. They can say they don't want
the end result of it, but they do want the
burken They do want the text and calls every day.
They do want a man to say I love you

(48:05):
within a day or two or three. They do want
you to eat, sleep, and shit them. They want all
these things. A said it, They put it on their
social media that they want it. They tell you on
the date when you're dating them, they tell you when
you're on the phone with them. They give you a
whole list of what they want you to do, and
what do men do? They follow that list? And this
is why for myself and I teach what i'm in
session or when I'm giving relationship advice that I used

(48:27):
to be as well a woman with the list, but
with wisdom and experience. Guess what, I do have non negotiables,
but I ain't gotten a list. You know why? Because
I want to experience you as your authentic self. And
when I know who you are, I know who I'm choosing.
I know who I'm not choosing. I don't want to
give you a list of what to do for me.
If you buy me a burken because that's just what
you do. That's on you. If you take me to
on a vacation a month from now or two weeks

(48:48):
and I decide to go, that is what you did,
because you're that type of guy. I don't want to
feed you on how to do it. But I have
to say this. Men do the things that women are
telling them that needs to be done. I'm not saying ah,
but majority, And there's a group of women who are
saying I want these things, and so men are saying, well,
I want things from you too. If I have to
do those things to get what I want, then there's

(49:09):
fair changes, no robbery. So again, this love bombing wasn't
created by a gang of a group of men that
went into the basement and said, let's think about how
we love bomb women. It was created by women who go,
this is how I want to be loved. This is
what my love language is. This is how I deem love.
If you do this, I'll have sex with you. If
you do this, I'll go on a trip with you.
If you do this, I'll be your girlfriend, your wife,

(49:29):
your trophy. And men fall right into it, and it
starts to deliver it. And so do you have a
lot of women who do want it. I love all
the love bombing things from my man, from my partner.
I don't need it from just the guy on the corner.
I don't need it from just any Jack and Joe.
But do I love all those things? Hell yeah. And
if a woman wants to sit on here and say
she doesn't ed ass on her, I love it all,

(49:50):
Buy me a burk and a Kirkain of Take Bahamas Anywhere, Lauren.

Speaker 3 (49:54):
I think part of the problem is that a lot
of men are emotionally unintelligent. They don't know how to
appropriately explain to a woman, I like you, and they
may misread their like for love. You don't love her,
You've only known her two weeks. You do not love her.
But she's hot and she's so you're telling her you
love her because you think that's what she wants to hear,
and that's what you're told. But we also have this

(50:16):
fantasy in society that love will happen in a snap.
So you will walk into a restaurant or a club
and you will see the person and music will play
in both of your heads and you will immediately be
in the relationship and you walk happily ever after. And
there's not like work that we have to do to
get through those first three months to see if we're compatible.
So when you have that fantasy from Hollywood, from children's books,

(50:40):
then if somebody walks in the room and you're like,
oh my god, you're the most beautiful woman I ever met.
I'm gonna marry you. They're like, Oh, he's so sweet. No,
he's love bombing you run.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
What do you think?

Speaker 8 (50:48):
Well, I think the whole fairytale thing in our society
is a love bomb. It sets girls up for the
love bomb, it sets men up to do the love bombing.

Speaker 7 (50:59):
I think are socialized to value sex, not women. Right,
most of the time men are wanting to chase it.

Speaker 8 (51:06):
Now, this is after decades and decades of being a
family attorney, also working as a television judge, dealing with
paternity case after paternity case, where you're watching the way
relationships play out, and you're saying to yourself, how is
it that people who can't even agree on whether or
not they're in a relationship are making full blown human

(51:29):
beings together?

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Right?

Speaker 8 (51:30):
There is an extreme disconnect in our society the way
we're raising our men and our women. You talk about,
you know, young teen boys in the twenties, it's all
about you know an, you're gonna get that right, You're
gonna go and try to have sex with her. It's
not talking about are you gonna form a lasting, incredible

(51:52):
relationship with her, It's about can you have sex with her?
On the flip side, and women, I give it to
you straight. A lot of young girls are about two
sandwiches away from what I call the prostitution picnic.

Speaker 7 (52:04):
Okay, you got two more sandwiches to go, and you
might as.

Speaker 8 (52:08):
Well go ahead and let your blanket down and just
decide you're gonna attend.

Speaker 3 (52:12):
So is the prostitution picnic.

Speaker 8 (52:14):
The prostitution picnic is you know you're just gonna let
your blanket down and go ahead and enjoy the party
and just say I have sex for goods and money.
I mean, at the end of the day, we gotta
think about that. We have to be real with our
young girls. And that's why and what I constantly do
is I empower young women and it's about understandings. Dmitri

(52:35):
said that listen, can't nobody buy me nothing I can't
buy for myself. And to be very honest with you,
be careful right what you're willing to do for those bags.
Not to tie this in, but it's relevant. In the
Diddy trial, We're witnessing this comestant through testimony and I'm
saying to myself, how when the hell can a chanel

(52:57):
be worth this?

Speaker 3 (52:59):
OK? Yeah, I was with you, But the dk IS
is much more that but what is.

Speaker 8 (53:04):
But what I'm saying is I'm speaking about a nuance
where there's far too much arguing about what you bought
her and what I didn't get.

Speaker 7 (53:13):
That is irrelevant. You just whooped my behind. I don't
care what you bought nobody or.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
What you bought me well to what she said.

Speaker 8 (53:23):
But this is what I'm saying, is what women are
also valuing. We have to correct ourselves. If we're not
willing to correct ourselves, we can blame men all day long,
it will not get any better. We have to be
honest about that. The fairy tale of the bags and
the shoes, and every woman has been guilty of it.

Speaker 7 (53:42):
But it's a cost that we pay. And until we
change that, they won't think.

Speaker 8 (53:47):
They can wool us with that.

Speaker 7 (53:49):
And that's all.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
She's absolutely right, And she's referencing very intelligently a lot
of the toxicity in our relationships in general, right, A
lot of toxic relationships in the black community, in every community,
but we're talking about the black community. So we've been
fed this idea a lot of us that love is
supposed to hurt a little, and that if he cheats
but he comes home, that's loyalty. If she yells but

(54:12):
she stays, that's love. Do you accept that? Is that
the way love is supposed to look?

Speaker 2 (54:19):
You know? I think that's my problem.

Speaker 4 (54:20):
I think that's how I I've gotten where I've gotten
how I am where I am. My parents have been
together thirty years, and never once that I see toxicity
equals love. Never once that I see that or witness that.
So that's why I want exactly what I want, a healthy,
peaceful relationship, of a relationship with understanding and communication. You see,
it's not just that society tells us that, but everything

(54:43):
you've ever watched has ever told you that. It's brain.
It's fed into your brain. You go turn on any
pop culture relevant movie. The man is mean to the
woman throughout the entire movie, but it all ends well
because he shows up with flowers. So you're said to
believe accepting this from this man is what you're supposed
to do. You're supposed to look at the man you

(55:04):
dating right now, who ain't never showed you nothing, but
you're gonna buy into the potential of that man because
your hope turned what he is right now into the
vision of what you hope him to be. It's just
like my son, my son's scat of the dark, right,
his mind is afraid, so it perceives that something is
standing out in that closet right there, when it's really

(55:25):
not there. You have to stop buying into the potential
of something that's not there. And my last point on
love bombing, and this is all I got to say.
It's called love bombing. Every bomb has to belt, sweetie
m hm, yeah.

Speaker 6 (55:42):
And you know, and this is my thing though, because
I am a woman who did have a father, and
I know Judge Lauren can't understand this. I had a
father that didn't love Bomby. He loved the hell out
of me. He spoiled me, rotten, He doted on me.
He bought me a lot of things. My father was
a product of the streets. That means we you know,
we had street money just keeping the rod. I had cars,
I had trips I had he took me on planes,

(56:04):
I had dury, we had all this. We had nice
homes from street money. So what am I saying is
that my father spoiled me and he treated me to
a certain standard. And so what upsets me is when
women are men get love bombing confused with the man
who knows how to treat a woman, because I don't
want to send this message to men and say, hey,

(56:24):
if you want to buy her a bag, or take
her on a trip, or take her to a nice dinner,
or love on her or open her car door, if
you do love her in a month or whatever your
emotional status is for her, that you with hole because
I find that a lot of men owatives are withholding
because they don't want to be love bombing. They don't
want to feel like they're diddying her. They don't want
to feel like they're into this me too movement thing
because they're being too aggressive. It's the truth. And for

(56:45):
a woman like myself, who is dating, who's ready to
be married, who's caught up a couple of weddings, I
want men out there to know that if you are
love bombing what the wrong intent, of course is wrong.
But if you are genuinely loving a woman and you
want to love on her or spoil her and try
treat her well, there's a women like myself who are
not fatherless little girls who have been treated really well
by a man. And I do have standards, and those

(57:07):
standards might look like some of the love bombing traits.
It may look like some of the love bombing expectations,
but the love bombing expectations with the bad intent is
what makes it love Bombing those main behaviors with the
right intent is what makes you a good man. It
makes you a gentleman. And so for me, if you
want to call a love bombing crazy bombing, loving the

(57:28):
hell out of me, as long as your intention is good,
you can spoil me rotten. My standards are there. You
can open my door, you can love on me, because
I don't feel bombing the last thing trailed on. We
also have to hold women accountable because if I'm in
a situation where I feel like this man's intentions are
just to sleep with me or to control me based
on the actions and the triquents and gifts hees buying me, well,

(57:50):
where is my freaking internal locus and my responsibility of
no one want to pivot. It ain't just the man's fault.
If I feel like a man is just trying to
woo me over for a night a passion, well I'm
not into casual sex. So you can woo all you want,
but we're not gonna end up woo woo in the bag.
So I and women have to also know when a
hold and win a phone. You need to be able
to put pivots since it's not his man his problem,

(58:11):
because he's buying you the bag, and I gotta say this.
If he buys you the bag, if he takes you
on vacation, I don't care if it's DA number one
or Dan number ten. You still have agency over your body.
You don't have to see a man because he did that.
I don't care if he loved on you times ten.
Hey collect your shit if you want you and you
still can say no. You still have an agency over
your body because I'm gonna take my gifts and I'm
gonna take my call it what you want. But I'm

(58:33):
not sleeping with you unless I want you. And you
could buy me nothing. If I like you, I like you,
and that's just what it is.

Speaker 3 (58:39):
Of course, you retain agency over your body and your
choices no matter what he spends on you one hundred percent.
But there is no free lunch, right and when you
and I think, I see a lot of sisters I
know doc when they are offered gifts that are too large,
too early, they're like, no, because there is there is

(59:01):
something that goes on with that right, and we don't
want to just tell.

Speaker 6 (59:04):
For the record, I'm not one of them sisters. I
was raised to say thank you. Women could do what
they want. I was raised to say thank you because
I have enough management of myself to not do the
things I don't want to do, no matter whether you
buy me something or not. But I'm I'm a sister
that's gonna say thank you. I don't care if I
want it and I like it. I'm saying thank you,
And if I choose not going forward with you, then

(59:25):
I just want But I'm definitely gonna say thank you.
I don't care what it sounds like.

Speaker 7 (59:28):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (59:29):
What they should do? When that man buy that bag
too early? Tell him save that five six month anniversary.
We'll see one another.

Speaker 6 (59:35):
One'm gonna tell him by another one for the sixth
month him six.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
You can give me?

Speaker 3 (59:42):
What do you think of this? There is no free lunch.
And when you get some expensive gift from a man
very early before he could possibly really know he loves you,
there's strings coming with that. And you don't have to
give up your body.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
You don't.

Speaker 8 (59:55):
That's why I'm saying we have to take responsibility for ourselves.
If we know what men's priority is, right, we get
that they want to have sex. That's how they're socialized,
that's really how they're wired, right, you know, So if
we know that, then we have to understand to doctor
Bryan's point, if you can take that bag and say
thank you so much, I really appreciate and feel no

(01:00:17):
pressure to sleep with them, to perform this, to do this,
to do.

Speaker 7 (01:00:21):
That, that's great.

Speaker 8 (01:00:23):
But if but if because I hear a little bit
too much of this online as if you know, if
he gonna get my bag and get a bag and
get my nails done and my hair done, and this
and this, how that is almost a precursor to the sex,
or it's the payment for an ongoing sexual relationship. Without

(01:00:44):
people really valuing building a true, real committed relationship, we
end up with situationships, which then go directly why people
appear before me, because the situationships are producing little.

Speaker 7 (01:00:58):
People, and I always people.

Speaker 11 (01:01:00):
Right.

Speaker 8 (01:01:01):
You can go half on a baby all day, but
you can't go on a half on a solution to
figure out how to raise the baby. That means you
were never meeting, you were never in a meeting of
the mind about you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
I haven't had a date in like thirty years. So
you tell us, Tell the brothers, how do they appropriately
like you go out with a ten out of ten?

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
I want to see her again and again. I want
to see if I can make her my girl because
this is the hotness chick I've ever been out with,
which how do I appropriately express that without it going
into love bombing, which I think we agree is inappropriate
from men?

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
Correct?

Speaker 6 (01:01:38):
Why you approached me to meet you? Let him know
how you?

Speaker 11 (01:01:41):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
So the thing about it is what I advocate for
all men to understand is that intention is important, right,
So making sure you're speaking on what your intention is,
because with intention comes respect.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
Understanding that I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:01:55):
Not even gonna call you randomly or I'm not even
trying to violate what makes you feel comfortable. I'm going
to give you that respect. Off top, you tell me
how far is gonna go? Now, if you're a man
like myself Lost lovel Boy podcast, clearly you understand what
that means. If you're a lover like myself, you want
to do more. You want to see a person's face more,
You want all of these things. Right, and that's okay,

(01:02:16):
but have pace to it. Understand that you must learn
the person before you can have a learn what the
relationship should be like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:23):
So I'm gonna tell you slow down a little bit.
You know what I'm saying. There's nothing wrong with giving
a gift, but as a.

Speaker 4 (01:02:28):
Man, if I could just drop this in a chat
for all my fellows listening in the chat, I'm gonna
let you know this. There is nothing more attractive to
a woman than a man who can control hisself. When
a woman throw it at you and you say nah, Listen,
when a woman throw it at you and you say no, respectfully,
that's not what I'm here for.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
I just want to get to know you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:50):
Tore Listen.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
I'm gonna tell you, listen, if you can control yourself
as a man, it'll take you so much further with
that woman.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
If that's your intent to see her again and again,
I promise you you're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
Controlling yourself by not seeming aggressive as to the team
you want of the physicality and everything else. That yes,
we have to build up her sense of trust with you.
I mean, talk a little bit about first date, second date.
What does interest you in a man and he wants
to show you. Oh my god, you're so beautiful. I

(01:03:23):
want you to be my girlfriend. But love bombing is inappropriate, right,
That's not That's not how we expressed the law.

Speaker 7 (01:03:30):
So how do we sorry, go ahead, So how do we.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Get expressing appropriate love for you on date one and
two but not love bombing?

Speaker 6 (01:03:38):
Yeah? But that looks like that looks like, hey, what
is your favorite food?

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
Right?

Speaker 6 (01:03:43):
Because he's interested in doing things that have to do
with him learning me, it looks like, hey, you know
it's a little warm tonight. Did you want to maybe
dine somewhere outside or inside?

Speaker 11 (01:03:54):
Hey?

Speaker 6 (01:03:55):
Question, I know what today's climate. Would you rather me
pick you up because I'm so a gentleman? Or do
you want me to send a car? You want to
drive your own car? And I'm only asking because today's
climate is a lot different than dating back in the day.
A lot of times you don't want someone to know
where you live until you actually know them. Okay, it
looks like when we are eating dinner, opening up my
car door, it looks like complimenting me without saying your
butt looks nice in that, or my breast are concentrating

(01:04:16):
on the things that will over sexualize me, compliment my hair,
compliment the color I have on copping my outfit. It
looks like when I do get home, if I didn't drive,
or if you drop me off, saying hey, let me
know you made it home, and if I don't text
you within thirty forty five minute, text me and say hey,
just checking to see if you were good. That's what
it looks like. It looks like making sure that before
I go to bed, you say, hey, really enjoy myself
with you, wondering if you're available on Wednesday? Do a

(01:04:37):
follow up date? Do a follow up date. That's what
it looks like. Where too, Jimiiti's point, there is nothing
that's over sexualized. Sex isn't even a conversation. And let
me say this because I've done this as a test.
I brought up sex the first or second day, not
me doing it to him, but just to kind of
see where his mind was. And every time I had
a man curve my sex conversation, he gained points. Every
time he fed into that sexual conversation. I'm like, okay,

(01:04:59):
I just want this what he would do. And Amitri's
right when men withhold and they're just spending time and
asking questions and having intellectual conversations and wanting to have
knowledge of you. When that woman is ready, because I've
been that woman, we will throw like we are a
picture on the mount, are pheromones at you, our panties
at you in a way that you will only be

(01:05:20):
able to hit a home run. Trust me, a grown
woman does not need to be cohersed or any of that.
Your foreplay is in your respect and honoring and how
you treat us outside the bedroom. You don't have to
even turn us on physically. We do that on our
own by how you engage with us and treat us.

Speaker 3 (01:05:41):
Indeed, one of the things that she said that I
want the guys to pay attention to that I see
when women are talking about dates on TikTok and on
social ask her questions about herself and then stop talking
and let her answer the question. A lot of it
are apparently going on dates where the guys just talk.

(01:06:02):
Guys are talking about Bitcoin a lot, guys are talking
about Lebron on dates a lot. The girl she's saying,
I don't want to know any more about Bitcoin. I
don't want to talk about Lebron and Kobe on a
fucking date, right, so we're talking about that shit. But
just if you ask her a question and the other
thing that she said, women put so much thought into
the outfit, right, the body is from her mom. The

(01:06:25):
outfit is from her. If you say you are beautiful,
you're complimenting her mother. If you say your outfit is dope,
you're coming her choices, her mind, her taste, her character,
her vision of herself that she's going to respond to
more than you're beautiful, which is not necessarily her fault.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
You know what does it for a woman?

Speaker 4 (01:06:44):
You know what does it actually listening to them and
remembering what they said, or a man listen right hand
on to the stah, to the stah when you.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Can reference something a woman said that was important.

Speaker 4 (01:06:59):
I know you said you didn't really, you know, use
allergic to peanut butter a few conversations ago, so I
made sure they took that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
Listen, fellas, I'm telling you, it's there.

Speaker 4 (01:07:08):
If you really want to go far with a woman,
learn a woman. I don't care if you got to
make a note sheet in your phone all about this woman.
It's important that you understand who she is solely as
a woman, before you ever tie her to yourself.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
You if you cared about her enough, I'm gonna do that.
Like we don't care about Lebron enough to know all
his stats off the top of our head, then you
would do that.

Speaker 6 (01:07:34):
You brothers are joy You wanted to meet your appreaching
because one of the guys at our date the other night,
he just literally laid out for me like, no, let
me tell you how you are. Let me tell you
what triggers you. Let me tell you what you don't like,
let me tell you what makes you go off. Let
me tell you how I know how to handle you.
I've learned to let you just go on your little rampage.
He goes, and then I just come back with okay,

(01:07:54):
And I'm like, hold on, you paid enough attention to
know when you're getting on my nerves or what to
say or what to hack. That was you need his number?

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
You do?

Speaker 6 (01:08:04):
And that that was such a turn on for me.
And secondly, he said to me about a month ago,
he said, the reason why I'm taking my time with
you is because I want I actually want to earn you.
I want to earn your respect. I want to earn
and I want to feel as a man that I
deserved this relationship. And I thought wow, because I was like, Negro,

(01:08:25):
you're moving us to so sexually because I don't like
casual sets. But I'm like, you're moving a little slow
on flying me out or on doing all these love
bombing things. And he said, you know, this is why
I'm taking my time because I want to make sure
I don't mess this up. I want to know you.
I want to know how to handle you. I want
to know how to approach you, and I want to
know how to love you, and financially, I want to
be able to contribute and invest in you at a

(01:08:47):
level that says I work. I worked for an earned
my wife. For me, that was four play and that
was a turn on. And I know he's watching, so
baby turn on and for play for me? Thank you?

Speaker 3 (01:08:59):
Well, Okay, can I actually talk to him? I would
love to talk to him, just so I can fully
understand who I'm talking to you. I have no news
for him, but he has information for me that I
would like to understand. To bet one last thing though, yeah,
that some folks think that gas lighting is part of

(01:09:19):
love bombing. Is that is that true?

Speaker 2 (01:09:24):
Not exactly. There's a there's a distinct difference.

Speaker 4 (01:09:27):
So if I sum it up really quickly, love bombing
is a man who or woman because I've seen it. Hey,
there's some tricks now, a person who's willing to drown
you in affection so you do not notice their red flags.
That that's what love bombing is. And in essence, now, gas

(01:09:48):
lighting is someone saying I'm going to mess with your
mind until it distorts your reality, whether that's bothering your
self esteem or that's using trauma you had when you
grew well, I'm going to do something that allows you
to feel like you may need me now they know
what gaslighting.

Speaker 3 (01:10:07):
Eyslighting requires me to say up is down and you're
going no, no, up is up, and like no, no, no,
up is down and I'm your sense of reality.

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Absolutely And the best gas lighters because I heard you
speak on it earlier in this conversation, it's exactly what
the government does to us.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
They tell us.

Speaker 4 (01:10:25):
We're long from reacting to the abuse they caused us.
The best gas lighters are those narcissists who can look
at a situation and say, well, how are you mad?
They get mad that you're mad. Those are the best
gas lighters. And I just want everybody to pay very
close attention to it because it may be happening to
you right under your nose.

Speaker 8 (01:10:44):
Yes, And the women are getting gas lit into having
babies with people, and then when that baby comes, right,
I've been living this for over ten years now, when
that baby comes, it's I never said I wanted the baby.

Speaker 7 (01:10:56):
I never said I was in a relationship. I never
said this.

Speaker 8 (01:10:59):
I've seen this time and time again, So be careful
about that. Women protect yourselves. And also we haven't I
think said this enough. But a man that has to
gas light and a man that has to love bomb
is a very very weak, immature and insecure man. And
it just is what it is. They're fighting trauma every day.

(01:11:19):
I have lived through it. I've been through it. No
one has exempt and it's people that you don't even
ever think would have to gaslight and love bomb, and
yet they do because it's something within. Doctor Brian can
deal with that in another episode. But I do want
that two people are lacking something from within. It makes
the man deliver it and it makes the woman accept it,

(01:11:41):
because at the end of the day, if it's a
true gift, a gift requires no bargain for exchange and
there is no revocation to a gift.

Speaker 3 (01:11:50):
The part of that though, you said he's insecure, Yes,
he's damaged. Yes, as we said at the beginning, he
feels like he's not enough and he puts you on
a pedestal. She's amazing, and I'm shit. I got to
get her to like me before she realizes who I
really am. So he's entering with low self esteem from

(01:12:12):
his dating experiences and his friends experiences.

Speaker 8 (01:12:15):
So he's like, I'm trying to get her, and his
mother and father wound potentially, and.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
So I mean, like we can say that love bombing
is is wrong and dangerous and hurtful, usually to women,
but a lot of men are doing it because they
are hurt and because they don't see a value in themselves.
So how do I get her to like me without
just telling her I love you, I love you, I
love you when you don't.

Speaker 6 (01:12:40):
Because we're gonna need a whole other episode because we
didn't even talk about how women love bomb men with
totally different assets.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
You see it every day.

Speaker 3 (01:12:49):
I want to hear from you, guys in the chat
about doctor Bryant love bombing you, if that happened to
you or her gas lighting you if that happened to you,
or just any comments about love bombing and toxic relationships
and how we deal with these things, because there's been
an awesome conversation. I love you guys. I appreciate this.

Speaker 6 (01:13:07):
And our chat is on hire tore y'all see the
chat is they are going love that. We got some
love bombers in the chat, y'all. Negroes the bombing. We
see you going to send that bag of that cash
up today, cash app right there, you can love bomb me.
I know how to say thank you, Going and love
bomby to cash app. Truth Talks Live, Jody gonna give
me my portion.

Speaker 3 (01:13:28):
That's our show for tonight. Like coment and subscribe on
our YouTube channel at tooth Talks dash Live. Please watch
us simulcasting right here in the Blackstar Network. After Roland
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Juanita Maddi, Kyla Carr, Benjamin Gomes. We love you, We
appreciate you for your weekly cash support for the show.

(01:13:49):
If you want to be in the credits like Juanita,
Kyla and Ben, please hit that cash opp and show
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Like our friends at the Playpad in Atlanta, GA. Who
is giving kids a place to play that's fun and

(01:14:12):
friendly and for the community. I love that guy. I
used to do stuff like that with my kids when
they were little.

Speaker 2 (01:14:17):
Playbad's gotta be shit.

Speaker 3 (01:14:19):
Reach our over ten million viewing audience through truth Talks
and all our social platforms. Small businesses and influencers partner
with us by visiting truth Talkslive dot com. Companies like
hair Maniacs are partnering with us and letting the world
know about their great products. Doctor Bryant is wearing hair Maniacs.
It's not just a hairline, it's a lifestyle. The product
is fantastic. As you can see. The sister is getting

(01:14:42):
love bombed all over the place because men all over
California are like, the hair is amazing. I don't know
what to do.

Speaker 6 (01:14:47):
I tell you what, love gaslight. This is not gaslight.
This hair is actually amazing.

Speaker 7 (01:14:51):
When it's up.

Speaker 6 (01:14:52):
It's up, and the hair is actually up gorgeous.

Speaker 3 (01:14:55):
Yes, it does look fantastic. Become a VIP member of
the Tooth Lounge and click on any co host room.
Dmitri gives you a chance to beat him in the
Shy Hope of R Kelly and Kanye. Oh, but he's
got a mental health to bed for bed, so he'll
help you work on your love bombing skills. Black Media's

(01:15:17):
undertach keeps supporting us by telling a friend to tell
a friend who watch Truth Talks weeknights eight pm, E. S,
T and pst. Ebony King Williams will be here with
us next week. I love her. Every weeknight we are
here with you, for you at eight pm, for the community,
for the culture. It's Truth Talks. Well see you tomorrow,

(01:15:38):
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EPS 019 - R. Kelly Begs For A Pardon, ICE Protests Spark Martial Law & Cheyenne Bryant On Love Bombing-

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}EPS 019 - R. Kelly Begs For A Pardon, ICE Protests Spark Martial Law & Cheyenne Bryant On Love Bombing-