Explosive Diddy Testimony, DMX Estate Auction and Cheyenne Bryant on Breaking The Black Trauma Loop

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
M h.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
There we go.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Make sure my hair is right. Does it look okay?

Speaker 4 (00:11):
Looks it looks gorgeous?

Speaker 3 (00:14):
Really?

Speaker 5 (00:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (00:23):
Does it look better than dimitries?

Speaker 4 (00:26):
I don't know, you know, I like them Wayians. I
don't know.

Speaker 6 (00:28):
That was pating ship story.

Speaker 4 (00:30):
That was just.

Speaker 5 (00:45):
H okay.

Speaker 7 (02:03):
Truth Tellers, welcome in. I'm tore. It's time to talk
about black feelings. It's time to talk about black love.
It's time to uplift the people. It's time to ask you.
Truth Talks is the most truthful, most black, most argumentative
show on the net. And we got a lot of
idiots you today, Sue night, black trauma, black love, It's

(02:26):
all happening. This is gonna be the greatest conversation you've
heard all day. Let's get into it. Truth Talk starts now.

Speaker 6 (02:46):
Are y'a all ready to row?

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Lets?

Speaker 7 (02:47):
Y'all welcome to Truth Talks. We used to be the
number one show on Fox Soul, but now we're here
for the raws conversations about all things blackness. We will
not agree with each other, but we will love each
other at the end of the day. Because this show
is about like friends arguing at a bar from a

(03:09):
black point of view. And we're so different that some
of y'all will agree with one of us, or at
least go hmmm. She made a really good point there.
Speaking of making a really good point there, the returning superstar,
the hard and soul of the show, Doctor Shy and Bryant,
how are you my sister?

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Thank you, Torrey?

Speaker 7 (03:28):
What's up?

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Truth Avengers, it's your favorite dog, Dr Bryant, And I
think today I'm gonna make sure I disagree with you, Torey.
I'm just about every topic we talk about, you know.
And this is the thing. Whenever your curls are popping
the way they are, I know that you got some
real good information underneath that thing and called your brain.
So I'm ready for it. I'm ready for a brother.

Speaker 7 (03:50):
You're just gonna disagree with me just to disagree with me, probably,
So that's stating ted to go down and doubling down
and all those other things that you do. But you
have become like the second sister I never wanted. I
have a sister I love who's a doctor, and now
I have you fantastic. I also have another sister named

(04:14):
doctor Sarah Fonto. How are you?

Speaker 8 (04:17):
What's up? Love seeing you guys, here love having these
conversations currently in Los Angeles, So y'all gonna be with
me in La this whole week.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
She's in her other other house, Okay.

Speaker 7 (04:27):
And our next ged wise man, Dmitree Wiley back from
meditating on a mountain. How are you?

Speaker 1 (04:34):
I am blessed by our Lord and Savior. I tell
you that that's beautiful. You sure are?

Speaker 7 (04:39):
We all are? I'm Torre, you know me. I've been
in the game forever. Let's get into the trending topics
of the day, because the world is going nuts about
the Diddy trial. Capricorn, Clark and other Bad Boy assistants
have been testifying about life inside Bad Boy. It is
an insane situation. Our extortion, kidnapping, endless hours, constant violence

(05:05):
on planes, on the ground. Denny seems like a monster.
Kid Cutty called him a Marvel supervillain, which sent the
courtroom into hysterics. But still it's kind of true to
the extent that sug Knight was considered the wildest, most
violent man in the industry and he briefly kidnapped me.
We could get into that later this segment, but everyone's like,

(05:28):
what the DVT that's true? I didn't interview Blcohbeck's But
I did truly get kidnapped by Sugar Knight. But sug
just told Harvey Levin from TFZ, Hey, everyone thought Death
Row Records was bad? How you feel about bad Boy now?

Speaker 6 (05:43):
Shy? How do you feel about.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Bad Boy now?

Speaker 4 (05:45):
I mean, listen, Sug is from Los Angeles. Okay, so Compton,
Compton's hubcity baby, that was if you're from La Compton
is still hubsy in La Torrey. Don't start with me this,
Do not start with that sug Night is I understand. Remember,

(06:07):
my father is also a founder of one of the
biggest blood gangs, so I'm very familiar with Suge Knight,
who was a good friend of minees as well and
very protective over me in the many essence before even
going to prison. But back to what we're talking about,
I still believe that sug Knight and Death Row was
still the biggest and the baddest and the most feared
record label and individual that has exists in the music industry.

(06:29):
Do I think that Diddy has done some things that
also had him being very much feared. Absolutely, But if
you look at you know a lot of the history
of the more hardcore, walk in a club, walk in
a room, and you got brothers just straight in fear.
I mean, Sug would walk in places and dudes would
literally just shiver. Sug would walk up and just snatch

(06:49):
somebody's chain off their neck, and there was nothing anybody
was gonna say or do. This is the guy who
not only is his presence, this dude is like six
something two eight. This is a big dude. Food had
a very dominance when he walked in the room, but
his personality and his resources and his gang lifestyle and
mentality was something that people fear and still believe it

(07:10):
or not fear to this day. With him being in prison, Yeah,
people are opening up and talking more smack about him
because he's behind these bars, thinking he's never getting out.
But that brother still has a lot of call when
it comes to the streets.

Speaker 8 (07:21):
Sarah, Yeah, I think the biggest difference for me when
I think about this whole Ditty situation that's happening in Shug,
I think about how this man was all brawn, whereas
Ditty is brain and bank account. Because let's be clear,
first of all, you can do a lot more when
you have more money. But I almost feel like Suge
Knight loved the idea that he was the person that

(07:44):
everyone was afraid of, whereas Ditty is a little more
cloak and Daggers it's a little more hidden. You only
really know if you know which is smarter. And I
feel like when you're the person at the forefront punching
people in the face, dangling people off of a balcony.
I think we've all heard allegedly that he dangled the
vanilla ice off of a balcony, Like that's kind of

(08:06):
sloppy to me. You're supposed to have people to do
that for you, so you know, was it worse? I
think it was more direct. I think it was more
in your face. I think it was play with me
if you want to. But I think Diddy's had more
money to just be more cooking daggers about it.

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Did he did he? Dimitri?

Speaker 7 (08:25):
No? Please go no.

Speaker 6 (08:36):
I agree uh with with everybody here.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think the idea of Diddy versus Sugar Knight both
was demasculation from They both demasculated their victims should get
it in a physical way, like doctor Sarah Fontaine was saying.

Speaker 6 (08:50):
And Diddy was more mental.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
I don't know if you've ever seen a man uncomfortable
in a room, not just out of fear he'll be hurt,
but fear he's seen as a victim. I think Diddy
had that way back when when they was doing the
TV shows and he was sending people across the country
to get cheesecake and shit. I don't know if y'all
remember that, but you know that did. He just had
a way of playing in people's minds. But you know,

(09:13):
it takes me to an interesting perspective about the whole thing.

Speaker 6 (09:16):
I think the idea of it, like it makes me
look at our society, like all culture.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
Like how have we idolized this overinflation of power? Like
it's blurred the moraun between what's actually acceptable do the
fame if that makes sense to you guys, Like fame
is now giving gateway to all of this, and it's
kind of crazy to me.

Speaker 7 (09:38):
So yeah, God, I remember when this was. I think
it was in the nineties when Death Row was really hot.
I interviewed Shug as part of a store about a
story about somebody else, a mentor of Shugs. I'm in
his office at death Row and his mentor was suing
him and we did a forty five minute interview, and
I said, so, what's up with the loss suit? And

(10:00):
he was like, what are you talking about? And you know,
I was really some would say dumb, as some would
say aggressive, so I would say dumb. I'm sitting in
his office. Nobody knows that I'm there, it's midnight, and
I'm like, you know what lawsuit I'm talking about. I'm
truncating the story he told me. He grabbed me by

(10:23):
the shoulder and dug his hand into like my shoulder
blade and like pulled me into the corner of the
room where there was a fish tank, which at this moment,
I'm thinking, oh, it's a piranha tank and he's gonna
freaking put my hand in there, or some I thought
he was gonna beat me up. I was definitely like,
if I leave here with only one broken bone, it's
a At one point there was a there was somebody

(10:45):
who was clearly a blood right now standing there and
he was and he was like, as soon as you
say anything, I will go beat the crap out of him.
And I'm like, oh my god, I'm about to die tonight,
and nobody even knows that I'm here at death row
right now. This is a true story. I can tell
the much longer story later on, but we want to
move on. But that really happened, And yes, you're shy,

(11:08):
You're completely right. Shug's reputation was known and public and
people were scared of him, and yes, grown, I mean
he brought the blood and the street energy into the
game in a way that nobody else had, certainly not
on the executive level. So some of else right.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
Really quick, because I had a diffini. I would really quick.
I'd be out in club. You know, back in the day,
I was young in club and I'm still young, but
you know, I don't be clubbing no more. But I
was out be clubbing and be out and about with
group of friends. And Shug would literally walk from his
table to our table and literally stand in front of
like the whole bottle service and be like, yo, shy,
yo shy, with this presence in this voice that the

(11:47):
music is loud, but all you heard was his voice.
I'm not playing, And I would be like, hey, what's
going on. He'd be like you good?

Speaker 7 (11:53):
Are you good?

Speaker 4 (11:54):
So everybody can feel the presence, and I'd be like, yeah,
I'm good. All right, Well if not, I'll be right
there and when I tell you, that was just the
presence that my father had. But when I wasn't with
Daddy should have that. And I know he was this,
you know, big vicious man, but when it came to me,
I experienced this big like uh gorilla type of teddy

(12:15):
bear because he was never disrespectful and never very aggressive
with me, but he made sure everybody around me understood
what motherfucking time it was if they were to some
kind of way disrespect me. So for that, I got
to say I appreciated that. I know, I used to
be out and about in love when I seen him
was I'm like, he's gonna come in here and shut
it down in the event that I need him to.
And so shout out to Big Sugar. I did appreciate

(12:36):
them days.

Speaker 7 (12:37):
Well, now you got two more men who will jump
on somebody to respect you. Yes, as we all love
you here too. Speaking of people who were wild in
the streets, d MX he used to before he was
a rapper. He was a mother who did not need
a gun. His reputation preceded him. He would roll up

(12:59):
or people be like run it, and they would run it.
They would know and they talk about it. Will be
a problem. Don't let it happen to you. Several things
of his memorabilia has been put up for auction, Cassette
tapes of him rhyming early in the nineties, flyers from
early in his career, some handwritten lyric sheets, a VHS

(13:22):
tape of him. If you have a VHS player, you
could actually see some of these early videos him. So
now these things, this memorabilia is coming from a friend
of Exes. So the money will go to the person
who owns the stuff. Now that's the way auctions work.
But Ex's first wife to share a Simmons told TMZ

(13:44):
she is very upset about all of this. She thinks
the things should be given to Ex's fifteen children. That
is her prerogative to feel that way. But Demititi, how
do you feel about the friend selling the memorabilia and
not giving it to the kid like you agree with
to share or not.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
I'm gonna be honest, it's in possession. The thing about
it is, there's no moral compass to what you should
do for your dollar, because you know, the thing about
it's heartbreaking, Like I get it, it's heartbreaking, but honestly.

Speaker 6 (14:15):
I'm not surprised.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Like in the Black community, if you specifically focus on
the Black community, we prepare for death emotional, never economically,
like we just don't believe we gonna die, like it's
our time, like no life insurance, no X y Z.
And this is very common in the Black community. So
when things like this happen, we start to feel like, oh,

(14:36):
it should happen in death, when in all actuality, it
wasn't happening in.

Speaker 6 (14:40):
Life either, like y'all ain't shit in life either, Like but.

Speaker 7 (14:43):
But I digress, Uh, I want you to respond to
that butt. I mean, I personally have no knowledge of
DMX's state, whether they have a lot of money or not.
I have no idea right that. I have no evidence
or dog on that go ahead.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
You know, I just want to piggy back off with
Dmitri said. I feel like if there was a trust
or a will, then maybe possibly not maybe, then possibly
they would be able to follow exactly you know, X's
desires and his will for his children. I think that
when you get to this place of post death again,
because we are a very intervenitive community and not a
preventative or a preparation community, we run into these things

(15:20):
especially when you start to talk about men, and all
due respect to X love X right, he was one
of the best. When you have men who have multiple
kids by multiple women, this also becomes an issue because
you don't have one wife, which is the go to
right to say, Hey, listen, my husband and I have
these conversations and we have all these kids, and this
is what we would like to be done and contribute
to our children. You have multiple women who are mothers

(15:43):
of their kids or baby mamas that you also have
to consider what do they want with their kids. So
what am I saying is that Blenett families can work.
But when you start to have these multiple baby mamas,
these broken homes and broken families, this is a direct
result of not having your shit ready and also pro
creating in ways where you know things are spread out
so thin that everyone takes a loss, just like in

(16:03):
this case, all the kids are taking a loss because
nobody is going to reap the benefits of this man's
legacy and long hard work career that X has obviously
worked hard for and no one gets it but his
friend selling Membreo.

Speaker 7 (16:17):
One thing that I can say, Sarah, I I overheard
because I was doing a story on DMX. So I
hung out with him for like three days in LA
and I overheard him talking to Tashera for an hour,
and the love for her and the family was clear,
Like he loved his kids, he loved her. So, I mean,

(16:40):
you know, I blended family all that, but he did
love this woman. He did love I heard him on
the phone with these children. He loved those children. He
loved being a father, he loved being a husband or
a long time boyfriend with Tashera. But I know, Sarah,
you are very let's say, knowledgeable and aware financially. And
I want to go back to what Dimiti was referencing
around estate planning. Black people sometimes we're not as forward thinking.

(17:04):
And I'm not necessarily saying DMX is or isn't, but
like that's kind of what we're subject we're on here.
Where should we be in terms of a state planning?
If we have something to pass down, what are the
things we should be doing well?

Speaker 8 (17:16):
As Dimitri said and doctor B said, you know, life
insurance is great, trusts are great. But honestly, I feel
like we have a generational flaw. We have a cultural
flaw in the sense where they don't teach financial literacy
inside of school. The only way that you learn financial
literacy is if you outwardly go and seek it. You
have a mentor in it, or someone in your family
is involved in it. And unfortunately, for a lot of

(17:38):
the black families. Number One, we're all focused on make
the money. We don't talk about keeping the money, sustaining
the money, or leaving money behind. We talk about what
do we have right now? What cars, what jewelry, what that,
especially inside of this industry. And so when you think
about how different music legends and their estates, We've seen
this before with the Wreath of Franklin, with Michael Jackson,

(18:00):
with Prince, there are so many different people that were
not able to pass down their estates to their family
or their children because they themselves were not financially literate.

Speaker 7 (18:11):
And so I'm sorry, I'm sorry Prince Prince did that
and Michael Jackson did that. But I want you to
give us examples of what we should be doing, what
black people could be doing for our children. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (18:24):
For number one, Okay, this is loaded. I got thirty
seconds to tell the truth. Number One, you could get
a you could when your kids are young, you could
get them a custodial account where you're paying a few
hundred dollars into it at a month. By the time
they're eighteen, your kid could have a million dollars. You
could do a trust where you get paid by your trust.
Let's say that you start a side business on the side.

(18:45):
If you start a side business, you have an LLC
that LLC is paying you. You could pay yourself less
to be able to qualify for certain things that we
might talk about in different topics. There are so many
different ways that we could set ourselves up if we
knew the loopholes. Because please believe these wealthy people. I
know wealthy people that can qualify for food stamps. Okay,

(19:06):
let's just keep it real. There's a lot of loopholes
that we're not clear about. But to keep it really basic.
A custodial account for your children, it's amazing. A life
insurance policy on ourselves as parents or as we get older,
for our families, on ourselves and on our children. Because
you can also use a life insurance policy something that
you can borrow against and put the money back, but

(19:28):
it still girls as if you never really took the money.
There's so much to get into but you know, I
would say those are two really great starting points, and
trusts are great for taxes. That's all I'm going to say,
speak to a financial advisor and look into that for
you and your family.

Speaker 7 (19:41):
What's too More on this later, because money is so
important and it's such an emotional issue, and there's so
many great black financial advisors out there. I think about
the budget Nista, I think about Ian Dunlap, like really
smart people who could come and have a great conversation
with us about all these issues, about the custodial accounts,
the five twenty nine's, all the things. So, like producers,

(20:04):
let's do a big money issue so we can talk
about the emotion around money and the smart things that
we should do. Let's leap forward into a huge fight
that's going on in our politicking segment. Trump is at
war with Harvard. He's at war with all American universities,
but right now he is focused on Harvard, and they

(20:24):
are fighting back spectacularly. And I am such a fan
of how they are trolling him and pushing back against him.
Columbia laid down, Princeton laid down, like hell no, we're
fighting back, And I don't fully understand what Trump's real
problem here is, because when he talks about Harvard and

(20:46):
the problem, he sounds like someone who could never ever
even have a chance to get into Harvard. Roll the clip.

Speaker 9 (20:54):
Part of the problem with Harvard is that they're about
thirty one percent, almost thirty one percent of foreigners coming
to Harvard. We give them billions of dollars, which is ridiculous.
We do grants which are probably not going to be
doing much grants anymore to Harvard, but they're thirty one percent.
But they refuse to tell us who the people are.
We want to know who the people. Now, a lot

(21:15):
of the foreign students we wouldn't have a problem with.
I'm not gonna have a problem with foreign students, but
it shouldn't be thirty one percent too much because we
have Americans that want to go there and to other
places and they can't go there because you have thirty
one percent foreign Now, no foreign government contributes money to Harvard.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
We do, so why are they.

Speaker 9 (21:35):
Doing so many?

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Number one?

Speaker 9 (21:36):
Number two, We want a list of those foreign students
and we'll find out whether or not they're okay. Many
will be okay, I assume, and I assume with Harvard,
many will be bad. And then the other thing is
they're very antisemitic. Everybody knows they're anti semitic. That's got
to stop immediately.

Speaker 7 (21:57):
It is hysterical to have Trump, who hangs out with
Holocaust deniers, talking about Harvard as anti semitic. But whatever, Shi,
the attack on Harvard and really all private universities will
have an impact on black students. Talk about what this
all means for black students.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
So let's go back at Harvard. The recent graduation class
seeing a drop between eighteen percent to fourteen percent of
Harvard Law students when it comes to black students. Okay,
so it's showing a drop of black students anyways, now
before Trump even put this rhetoric out, But I want
to go back to the whole reason why. Right, Obviously,

(22:40):
Harvard rejected Baron No, no, no.

Speaker 7 (22:44):
The first Lady, the first Lady's office said no, he
didn't apply to Harvard.

Speaker 4 (22:47):
Oh he didn't. Oh okay, well that was rumor that
he did right then. But then Malia Obama was accepted. Okay,
So I was going to say that was one of
the reasons why I can see Trump trying to be petty.
But if you're saying that that is alleged, and I'll
pull back on that. But I do want to say
is that there has already been a drop in black
students from between that fourteen and eighteen percent from this
previous graduating class. And so I don't think that Trump's

(23:10):
initiatives or whatever Trump is attempting to do has anything
to do with the black students being dropped out. Will
it affect foreigners, absolutely, but we already know that Trump
is trying to put these huge hedges around our country
so that we keep foreigners out more in a way,
so that he can pun intend them for them to
do what he says and how he says it, and
if he doesn't, he is going to try to take

(23:31):
away every single resource for these outside countries that he can,
so whun til Harvard does whatever they hell Trump wants
him to do, and until these foreigners do exactly what
he wants, which is more of an economic thing, than
Trump is going to be pressing and putting his foot
on the gas against anyone who doesn't align with his dictatorship,
because he is not a president who is again in
a democracy, He's a president that is saying, I Trump

(23:53):
have a call of action. I Trump have a plan.
Whoever doesn't fall into this plan will get what we
were just talking about. And he ain't no different. He
just happens to be in the White House.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
Okay me personally, fuck a rumor. I think he applied.
I honestly think this is patty. I'm be honest with you.
This isn't me personally, because they gonna say whatever they
want to say.

Speaker 6 (24:15):
They've been lying to our face for fucking forever. The
thing about the thing about it.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
Is, for me, I've never seen a more emotional president
in my life. I've never seen somebody so hell bent
on getting their personal ben that awful policies.

Speaker 6 (24:28):
I've never seen it in my life.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
And the thing about it is it's it's defunding the future.
It's defunding the future of black if we gotta go
abroad to fucking you know. Further that it's not just
the brains rain were watching defunding like they're literally and
it's specifically because he's emotional. I think I think he applied.
I think he didn't get in. But to me, I

(24:51):
also think that to Trump, if you're not white America,
you're foreign, that that's how you look at it, ye.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Ooh child.

Speaker 8 (25:01):
All Right, y'all, you ain't gonna like what I have
to say, because I personally am not mad at what
Trump is doing here. And what I mean by that
is Harvard, first of all, is a white school. It's
not even a school, it's a club. This is an
opportunity where men get to men and women get to
send their sons and daughters so that when they graduate,
despite their grades, they're able to have a high income

(25:22):
opportunity when they come out of that school. That also
being said, it's a privately owned school, and after some
research you'll find that just from tuition alone, they got
one point four billion dollars last year just from tuition
six point five billion in total. And so I do
feel like it's not about foreigners. Why are we so

(25:43):
worried about everybody else's backyard when this could potentially open
up spaces for black people here inside of America. So
I feel like I feel like when you look at
the math and you start doing the math and you
look at how Trump is saying they shouldn't have people
come in that we can't account for, did you do
you guys know when I moved to La by myself

(26:03):
and went to a conservatory. The cost for my for
out of out of country students foreign students was three
times the amount of those that were domestic students. At
Harvard it's the same price. So why are foreign students
not paying more to now come and take American students' places.

(26:24):
I don't understand that. For me, that's that's something that
that doesn't that doesn't make any sense. It's a very
rich school and he's attacking a white boys club. What
is the problem with this? I I personally I don't
see it.

Speaker 7 (26:37):
You know, part of the thing is that the money
that the government gives to Harvard and Columbia and other
universities is used for research that helps the entire country.
So the billions that they get from the government is
not part of it's not part of that boys club
thing that you're referencing. But also this is about academic freedom,
and what the Trumpies are saying to the different universities

(26:59):
is like, well, if you want our money, then you
have to teach these things. And of course part of
that is not teaching black studies or not teaching it
the way we've been teaching it. And when I think
about the I was a Black studies major in college,
and when I think about the spiritual and emotional impact,
say nothing of the psychological impact of learning, of our

(27:20):
history of learning, of the resistance of learning, of the
way that we have existed in this country culturally revolutionarily,
all these It has transformed me. And I would feel
bad for children, Black children who want that information and
can't get it or can't get it accurately because Trump
has put his thumb on the scale and changed the

(27:41):
way that we tease. And the same for young Arab
children or Black children who want to learn about what's
really going on in the Middle East, the true story
which colleges are teaching. I want colleges to teach the truth,
and I think the Trumpies are not really interested in that.
China Seu chigging your head a lot.

Speaker 4 (27:58):
Because you're talking about how the impact of knowing our
history can you know, avoid that intense identity crisis of
where I come from, who am I right? Right? And
why am I experiencing these things? Which is what critical
race theory talks about, not leaving behind our history because
you can't always see racism. It's an experience, it's systemic.

(28:20):
And so if we don't know what the systemic feels like,
what the experience was, then we're fucking over our folks
who don't get that experience. But I want to add
to that is when we talk about the black experience,
I think that we should focus a lot more on
the HBCUs. You know, we want to learn about black
and be black and experience that we should not have
to just depend on these Harvards and these ivy leaguese

(28:42):
ivy League schools who their main focus isn't us. Doesn't
mean that we shouldn't have the the the privilege or
the resource to be able to apply and be accepted.
But I also think that we got to feed into
the HBCUs who are made for us by us, and
go there and say, look, let's figure out how we
can get more money there. Let's figure out how we
can get the history classes being taught there. We can

(29:02):
get that experience being there. Let's not lean on so
much of Harvard and Stanfords and in these Columbia colleges
to do this when again, this is something that we
as a people have to make sure our people get.
It is not their responsibility to make sure we feed
our sheep. What our sheep need to be successful. We
have to pull back on that.

Speaker 7 (29:22):
The first I went to Emory in Atlanta, and the
first time we went over to the AUC to hang
out at Morehouse and Spelman, it was.

Speaker 3 (29:33):
Like, oh my god.

Speaker 7 (29:35):
Even as a nineteen year old, I was like, these
people are much more mature than me. They are they
have much more self esteem, they have much more of
a sense of self. They're talking about more house men
and spellman women. At Emory, we were not talking about
emery men. We were not talking about raising the spirit
in the way they clearly were. To I was like,
just stepping foot on the yard was like, this is different.

Speaker 4 (29:56):
Wait, wait, hold on, Torri, you said something stepping foot
on the yard, not the campus. Even our poltro lingo
was different. At the HBCU we stepping on the yard,
not the campus. Yea what I mean? And the pwis
have pretty much thrown us to the woofs.

Speaker 7 (30:12):
I mean to say, And you pick up that same
same thing I told you. I know Kamala from way
before when she was in eighty A, and I remember
talking to her about Howard and when she talked about
the yards. Soon as she said the yard like the
eyes go like like the smile and the eye thing
when we remember something that we like, it's just such
a powerful thing, like the community that you experienced in

(30:34):
those spaces.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Go ahead, d you know what I'm finna do, just
because y'all, y'all, y'all, y'all giving me that I'm gonna
go to my son kindergarten class, and I'm finna fund
a piece of party.

Speaker 6 (30:47):
You see what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (30:50):
That Now he's bringing valuable emotions to the kindergarten class,
pushing against what a lot of us are feeling all
the time. Moving into the main topic, a lot of
black people feel themselves in a trauma loop. What is that?
Look at this video, let's talk about it. Okay, a

(31:30):
trauma loop has anxiety.

Speaker 10 (31:32):
And you're constantly being triggered by everything. You need to
watch this video. So you're experiencing panic attacks, maybe physical symptoms,
just overall worry and concern, and anytime you get trigger,
your anxiety goes through the roof. Now you're thinking, I
don't want to experience that trigger, so I'm going to
avoid it. Now that makes logical sense. However, here's the trick.

(31:52):
If you avoid the trigger, you won't feel anxiety in
the moment, But what happens is the anxiety comes back.
What happens is the anxiety generalizes. If you are experiencing
generalized anxiety disorder, That's exactly what it does. Anxiety generalizes
to other similar situations which increase the anxiety. So the

(32:13):
solution to overcoming this is not by avoiding the triggers,
by facing your triggers and responding correctly. This is where
the focus is on long term freedom, not short term comfort.

Speaker 7 (32:24):
Okay, san trauma loop, which we're trying to get into,
happens when repeated exposure to trauma leads to the brain
becoming accustomed to functioning in a flooded state, and you're
constantly living in toxic stress. And I think that I
wanted to hear you talk about what that looks like
for black people and specifically INSTI and how we are
dealing with trauma.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I love that. So trauma loop is one your three
part house. How you think, how you feel, how you
behave continuously gives you these ruminating thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
that make you feel and believe that the trauma is
happening in that moment. So active to that trauma even
though it's not happening. So what does that mean for
black people? Again, we talked about this in one of

(33:06):
our episodes last week. When a black man is put
over by a police officer, law enforcement, right, he gets
into a trauma loop where he panics and all of
a sudden, he believed this is why secondary trauma is
so fucking dangerous because every time we watch something on
television or we see it on social media, okay, and
they're showing us how we are being you know, just

(33:27):
man handled by police, how we are protesting and getting
beat on, or black people you know, don't have it
in them to be a certain person. My point is
George Floyd watching that man be murdered, that secondary trauma,
which means that every time a black man gets put
by an officer, he goes into a trauma loop that says,
oh shit, this is happening to me, when it's not

(33:47):
happening to him. So when he is asking this officer, yo,
what's going on, or he's in a state of frantic
or paranoid, or he's in shock and it looks like
this man is out of control, this man is actually
in a trauma loop from either first or secondary trauma.
When a black person steps into a room or to
do an interview or to get employment and all they

(34:08):
remember is their father or their mother, or watching the
news say black people have the lowest employment rate. Black
men are the educated, Black men are not fathers, which
is not true, by the yeah, true, that's a false narrative.
That is secondary trauma. What do you think happens to
that black man when he goes to get a job,
he is already looping saying, I'm probably not going to

(34:28):
get this. I'm not good enough for this job. I'm
not qualified where I come from. It disqualifies me. So
why am I here? But I gotta show up. And
when that man can't operate at the level that he
really can because of his trauma, that is him being reactory.
Because the nervous system becomes activated when you believe here,
not when you're experiencing it, certainly, but when you internally

(34:48):
believe I am in a trauma spot right now. Trauma.

Speaker 7 (34:53):
Can you also unpack what we talk about when we're
talking about intergenerational trauma because some of the trauma is
also from parents, great grandparents.

Speaker 4 (35:04):
Absolutely, which is called you know, on the streets. We
call it generational curses, but clinically is a dysfunctional pathology
where we don't have to even see it. A lot
of it can be learned behavior, but many of it
is believe it or not, embedded in our DNA. And
DNA is not just something that happens when two people
get together and you got the change of biological DNA.

(35:25):
DNA is also reshaped and reformed by our experiences that
happen over and over again. That's that trauma loop. When
it's looped looped and it becomes autopilot for you, your DNA
becomes reshaped and reformed neurologically as well to this trauma.
So guess what. That trauma becomes your baseline. It becomes
your norm. So you act, you think, and you feel.

(35:46):
Your three part houses in alignment with trauma. And someone
who was always in a trauma response state of mind
cannot live in a healthy, thriving environment. They are always surviving,
So guess what. They're surviving their relationships, which we are
always hostile. They're surviving at work, which means they're always hostile.
They're surboding as parents, which means their kids now are
indirectly experiencing abuse at the hands of a person who

(36:10):
doesn't even have the awareness that they are in this
trauma loop. That's the part that saddens me the most,
and I'll land on that is many of our black
folks are either under or over diagnosed and don't even
know that they are experiencing these traumatic learned behaviors or
this traumatic I call DNA type of loot, and they
are putting and projecting these things on every person they

(36:31):
come in contact with, including us, and for us to
be reactive, it's actually adding salt to the wound. It
took me to get in my field honestly to have
compassion and grace for our people when they did that,
because before I used to say, what the fuck is
wrong with us? Why would we respond like this? What
is going on? But learning the intertwined reasons behind the

(36:52):
cause and the effect has really gave me a love
and gave me a compassion for our people because there's
a lot of shit we're dealing with that we are
not aware of and that we do not have resources
for it.

Speaker 6 (37:01):
Dimitri Jesus, first off, thank you for all of that.
Doc really appreciated it.

Speaker 1 (37:07):
It spoke to me, and I think the reason being
because as a black man, like we talked about the
cops being behind you x y Z, I could get
a ticket. Let's say he gives me a ticket and
I still he walks away, and I say, ah, that
is it better than I thought it would the moment,
the moment I start to think like, oh, I'm going
to jail and I ain't even done shit, I'm a

(37:27):
good civilian, my registration, you know, I ain't even done anything,
and my mind automatically goes to I could die here,
you know. And the thing about it is what a
lot of people don't understand. This also reflects in relationships too,
Like I see it all the time. You're lashing out
because of what you've seen, and that's everybody. But I
think the thing about it is nowadays it's not just

(37:49):
like you said. It's generational, of course, but there's an
echo that's still living. The things that our grandparents couldn't say,
they couldn't say in slavery, we yelling it now on
TikTok on social media. That's why the N word is
so triggering when somebody of the opposite, you know, cultural sense.
That's why it's so triggering because we taken on all
of that they had. We attached it to that and

(38:10):
now we gotta fight for it, We gotta, we gotta
stand up behind it, you know, Sarah Good.

Speaker 4 (38:15):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 8 (38:17):
The truth of it is, it's all a coping mechanism, right,
And the truth is a lot of us had something
that happened in our childhood where we created a defense
mechanism or a coping mechanism because we didn't know how
to process what was happening in front of us. And
I say process and because we can't, what we don't
understand is what's happening?

Speaker 4 (38:36):
We say, process for sure.

Speaker 8 (38:38):
But what happens is when we create these things, most
of us don't realize that that same story or coping
mechanism or defense mechanism that we created when we were
seven years old, we carry into our adulthood and are
never actually aware of it because the stories that we have,
those coping mechanisms that we have, are they run on autopilot.
It's like air conditioning. I don't have to go push

(38:59):
the but and it will automatically regulate to the temperature
that I set. Well, our identity works the same exact
way and so until we're able to say, hey, you
know what, I'm actually freezing in here. This is self awareness,
rightly freezing in here. I need to go over and
change the temperature on the thermostat over there. What starts
to happen is now you have the awareness, but you

(39:21):
also have to have compassion for your soul on this
journey because if we look, we see that we are
at the pinpoint of all of our pain. I mean good, bad,
right or wrong, it just is what it is. There's
so much power in that mindset. There's so much You
know what, I didn't start off perfect. I didn't come
from a bunch of money. I may have been in

(39:42):
the hood, or for me, I was raising the prairie right.
What that means is we have an opportunity to love
ourselves throughout the journey of understanding that not everything is
our fault. But if we take power over it and
accountability where we can, that's where we can make a change.
So it's all about self awareness and stop telling yourself.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
That dogone story.

Speaker 8 (40:05):
One thing I want to say for those of you
that are listening or watching, some of us, we don't
attract what we think about. We attract what we feel
strongest about, and some of us passionately feel overwhelmed, passionately
feel exhausted, passionately feel like I can't deal with these
badass little kids, passionately feel like I hate my job.
And because that's the cycle that you're in, you perpetuate

(40:26):
that same cycle. Why because we're focused on feeling it.
So now we're forever living in the future in our past.
So you have to become aware, you have to have compassion,
and you have to move forward.

Speaker 7 (40:39):
One of the ways that this intergenerational trauma happens is
in the attitudes that we pass down and the habits
that we pass down, telling each other communally, culturally what
is okay. For example, we have told each other generation
after generation that spanking is okay, corporal punishment, popping, hitting

(41:00):
is okay. This is the whitest thing that you can do.
It is a holdover from slavery. This is something that
the slave masters taught us that does not comport with
the way that we should actually be raising children. But
we think if we don't raise them tough, then they
won't be tough. And all of this is creating more trauma.

(41:23):
And I'm actually super encouraged that we are many of
us moving into therapy and moving into meditation and moving
into awareness and moving into I interview this rapper who
talked about emotional intelligence for half the interview, and I
was like so like blown away, like wow, like that's amazing.
And a lot of brothers are having Charlemagne and God
talks about going to therapy every Friday, and yet there's

(41:46):
still some brothers who are like, no, I do not
see it and I'm not going with you guys.

Speaker 11 (41:52):
Roll the clipping to realize that there is too many
of us black men who are normalizing trauma and brokenness.
We have started to embrace it as if it's a strength,
not notice him that it's a weakness.

Speaker 2 (42:09):
We think everybody against us.

Speaker 11 (42:11):
We don't want to mend relationships and friendships. We want
to continue on in this cycle like everybody is against us.
We don't want to ask for help. We claim ain't
nobody for us. But at the same time, when them
people are for us, we want to say that them,
the same ones is gonna stab us in the back.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
And we embrace it, all the trauma, all the herb.

Speaker 11 (42:34):
We don't want to heal, We don't want to go
through the process and guess what all.

Speaker 2 (42:39):
We want to do is be at odds with one another.

Speaker 7 (42:43):
Sean you know, Brene Brown said it takes strength to
be vulnerable. I think it also takes courage to be vulnerable,
just even to yourself to admit I am weak here.
I need to do this. And I think the brother
is agreed, like a lot of people agree with him,
but I think he's missing the point that trauma is real.

(43:04):
Black trauma is real, and we will be healthier if
we are honest with ourselves that we are facing a
specific African American sort of trauma.

Speaker 4 (43:12):
Let me say this, I have a whole lot to
say on this, a whole fucking lot. I'm a passage
to Dmitri real quick, just as our young brother on
the show and Dmitri because I want to give you
that space to open up about I seen your face,
I watched you, and I failt you and then and
then pass it back to me because I have a
whole lot of shit to say.

Speaker 1 (43:30):
Godi, absolutely no, as a as a black man, I
get it. As a youth in this generation, I absolutely understand.
I feel like we do hold on to it. But
I think his idea or version of what trauma is.
Trauma needs to be acknowledged, and that's the thing about
it is, but it's not.

Speaker 6 (43:45):
A space you live in Trauma.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Healing comes when you've accepted the trauma and you understand
how to act going forward, how to forgive going forward,
how to accept relationships going forward. He talked a lot
about not being able to trust people, and the thing
about it is, of course you can't trust everybody. That's
a defense, but that's not related to trauma. You may
contributed to trauma, but can I see the video again?

(44:09):
Because you want to make sure someone to.

Speaker 11 (44:11):
Realize that there's too many of us black men who
are normalizing trauma and brokenness. We have started to embrace
it as if it's a strength, not noticing that it's
a weakness.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
We thank everybody against us.

Speaker 11 (44:27):
We don't want to mend relationships and friendships. We want
to continue on in this cycle like everybody is against us.
We don't want to ask for help. We claim ain't
nobody for us. But at the same time, when them
people are for us, we want to say that them,
the same ones is gonna stab us in the back.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
And we embracing all the trauma all the herb.

Speaker 11 (44:49):
We don't want to heal, we don't want to go
through the process, and guess what all.

Speaker 2 (44:54):
We want to do is be at odds with one another.

Speaker 6 (45:01):
It's exactly as I thought.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
The idea of it is that he's saying, we're hooked
to this thing.

Speaker 6 (45:06):
But I think it's a rise.

Speaker 1 (45:08):
In mental health and awareness these days when it comes
to our generation, we're noticing it more so. Everybody's dump trauma,
dumping at one time, everybody saying this is my trauma,
this is what I'm forced to live with x y Z.
So the thing about it is he's saying, this has
become our custom, this is what we're used to. I'm
used to people going on Instagram and I'm seeing how

(45:28):
your whole life laid out because you just typed this
whole thing in paragraph form, instead of going to seek therapy,
instead of going to seek help, instead of having conversations
who can actually help with people. And I think it's
absolutely true. I think the idea of healing starts with
acknowledging me. Just throwing it all on the table ain't
gonna fix the problem. I gotta get to the root
of it, and then I.

Speaker 6 (45:46):
Gotta break it down.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
Yeah, And I gotta say this real quick, and I'm
gonna move to woman trauma. Kudos to that black man
for wanting to be an accountable black man. But brother,
you can't trust fucking people. You have been dogged, you
have been people have been disingenuous to you. You have
experienced police brutality, you have experienced racism. There are a
group of people who are intentionally doing things to make

(46:09):
sure they demise and keep the black man down. So
let me tell you this, brother, this isn't just trauma.
This is reality for many black men. Should y'all work
on it? Should you hear like Demity you said, should
you go to therapy? You damn right? But should you
negate the fact that this is a reality, that they
are putting a narrative out there that black men ain't
fathers when black men are actually the number one fathers
in present. You know that, Terray, I know two fathers

(46:31):
on two talks right now. There's Demetri. I have seen
y'all be nothing but amazing fathers, nothing but that. So
what I'm saying is for this brother, I want to
I want to actually validate people to say that listen,
black men, you have every right to feel exactly how
that man feels. What we want to do is we
want to stop the trauma loop. We want him to

(46:52):
get a new experience and be able to say when
the new good experience do present themself, he can have
the awareness to differentiate the difference. I said, wait a minute,
I'm not actually experiencing the trauma that I have been experiencing,
So let me embrace this new experience. I can reprogram, recalibrate,
and I can actually have a better experience for myself
and my kids. But I don't want to take away

(47:14):
the truth of black men and a lot of their
experience of being unable to trust people in this world.
I'm not going to do that to my brother.

Speaker 7 (47:21):
This is for many with the loopian. There's so many
ways that the struggles of the past are just jumped
onto us by the older generation and we accept these
and like racism is real, police brutality is real. But
the emotions that we carry because of the past of brutality, lynching,

(47:43):
all the things it carries forward, we carry it like
baggage and I have I mean, if I came to
you as a patient and said, hey, I am carrying
the baggage. I can hear my grandmother in Alabama in
the mind, right, what would you say?

Speaker 4 (48:04):
This is what I would say, especially if it was
you and you have a wife, right, toret What I
would say is, guess what that is directly impacting and
affecting the woman in your life, which is causing trauma
on us because one can't rock without the other. I
would tell Dimitri, dem sure you have a son. Do
you plan on having a wife? Demana? Do you have
a mother? Demetrir, I'm your friend. So your trauma and

(48:27):
the things that you're experiencing, if it doesn't heal within you,
is going to impact all of us because trauma within
women is a big, big deal as well. A lot
of us women, especially Black women, are experiencing a lot
of trauma that we have to put our cape on,
that we got to throw on our fucking back, that
we got to still raise kids, get a job, work,
go out there, mentor mother, preach, teach, be single mamas

(48:49):
and all that and still have to carry the torch
in this community of being the most educated, the ones
who are the CEOs, the c suite, the executives, and
guess what we still have to do that and protect
our brothers and say, listen, all our brothers might be slackened,
at least for me, I'm still gonna ride with him.
You still can't talk about them, you still can't down them,
you still can't be racist toart them, because I'm gonna
stand on minds for minds. But I'm gonna have that

(49:09):
sidebar conversation like I do Dimitri, or I'm gonna have
that pillotop that says, baby, you gotta get your shit
together and we gotta have a plan of action to
do so. But in the forefront, I have to make
sure as a black woman, I am protecting and covering
every single thing that comes with me to me and
connected to me, including to your point, Torrey, my aunt,
my parents, or my grandparents are the family members that

(49:31):
we're caring for. It is a lot of way when
it comes to black women trauma. We don't even want
to start this conversation, Sarah.

Speaker 7 (49:37):
Do you see ways that the trauma loop has played
out in your life going from you know, being younger
to now.

Speaker 8 (49:45):
Of course I do. I think that we all have trauma,
and just to take a step back, I want to
define what actual trauma is okay. Trauma is an emotional
or psychological response to a terrible or distressing event, and
it often causes lasting negative effects on a since functioning
and well being. So this is the thing that's really
coming up for me because when I think about the
most traumatic thing that ever happened to me, it was

(50:08):
a girl in school. She was the coolest girl I
ever saw. It wasn't from my family, it was from
my environment. It was from my school. And a lot
of us need to understand that ninety five percent of
who and how we are is borrowed from our culture.
So if you are around, if you are what happened.
So there was a girl in my school. I'll call
her Jane Doe. Jane Doe was the it girl. She

(50:28):
could sing, dance, she was pretty, and she was nice.
Everybody would come over. Her house was perfectly clean. Me
growing up, I knew everything when I was a child.
You know, I knew I had every single answer on
the planet as a girl. You know, I like, of
course I knew everything and so right, So when my
parents had told me to do things, I wouldn't actually listen,

(50:48):
but I invited Jane Doe over as long as the
main areas were clean. As long as the main areas
were clean, your bedroom. My mom was like, I'll shut
the door. You want to live Andy, filthy, you damn self,
you know, And that just was what it was. But
when I invited Jane Doe over, she came over, she
didn't stay very long. The next day, when we went
to school, she told everyone in school how dirty, disgusting,

(51:10):
and nasty I was. And in that moment, what I
didn't realize that distressing experience for me was I created
a story that said, if I let you in, you'll
betray me. Now, this is an example where our trauma
loops will continue to circulate until you identify it and
abrupt it. So I didn't know that story until I

(51:30):
was twenty eight years old. And through that story, this
is where I found out or how I found that
was doing this I'm sorry thing. I sent a letter
to everybody that I ever wronged and everybody that wronged me,
all these things, and I identified different places. But it's
no wonder why I was paralyzed by my first ex fiance.
It's no wonder why you know I was when I

(51:50):
broke up with my boyfriend, my best friends at the
time would sleep with my man right away. It was
no wonder why because I had to validate this story
subconsciously that said, if I let you in, you'll betray me.

Speaker 7 (52:02):
Right.

Speaker 8 (52:02):
So that's an example of a trauma loop. But it's
important to just be aware of what that is. You
don't have to be emotional and have a psychological response.
That means it still has power over you. That's what's
causing the loop. You've got to get your power back.

Speaker 7 (52:18):
I want to push you guys for one more sort
of mental health sort of question that I think is
kind of deep that Jody found for us roll the
clip man.

Speaker 3 (52:27):
That lives in America.

Speaker 12 (52:28):
I have generational trauma from my ancestors because of slavery.
I still don't believe all of America is safe for
my black skin.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
All of America is not safe for my black skin.

Speaker 12 (52:41):
And I'm talking physically, emotionally, relationally, financially, psychologically. All of
America is not safe for my black skin. That's a fact.
And I have a good life here in America. I
love this country. It'll forced me a lot of freedoms,
freedoms that my an have to fight for. Everything ain't

(53:02):
bad in this country. It's just not unless that's the
only thing I focus on. If that's the only thing
I focus on, then I think all white people are devils.

Speaker 2 (53:12):
I think that the man.

Speaker 12 (53:13):
Is against me, and he not gonna let me back
my car to the driveway. At some point, he gonna
come from my house, at some point, he coming from
my wife and my kids.

Speaker 3 (53:20):
At some point he's.

Speaker 12 (53:21):
Gonna try to flip me and take everything he has
from me. I just don't believe that about all white people.

Speaker 6 (53:27):
I do believe it about some.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
I don't believe it about all just not the truth.

Speaker 12 (53:30):
But if I focus on it, and if that's the
only thing I see here we go, then that's the
only thing the algorithm will bring in.

Speaker 7 (53:37):
I mean, yes, Dimitri, if that's the only thing you
focus on, that's the only thing you'll see. But if
you see a broader ray in the world, you will
see white supremacy and racism is part of our issue.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
Yeah, I think, of course, when you're speaking on that conversation,
if it's all you pay attention to, you'll start to
live in some paranoial state where you kind of believe
you can't go here, you can't go get there.

Speaker 6 (54:00):
You can't do this, you can't apply to that.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
And it's actually the paranoia state that a lot of
us has already been accustomed to living to, like that
trauma affected us to where now we're in this paranoid state.

Speaker 6 (54:12):
I just wanted to give an example if I could.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
I recently had my mother on my podcast for the
first time I interview.

Speaker 6 (54:18):
It was just so sweet.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
But the thing about my mother is, and I want
to let people know that the loop can be broken.

Speaker 6 (54:24):
The thing about it is, I've watched my mother grow.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
More in her forties than she did from the teens
to the young adults to the XYZ. It's about understanding
and seeing the loop in order for it to be broken.
I remember one time I was eighteen years old. I
went to go buy my first foreign car. I was
giving me a little Mercedes. I was working, I was
doing x y Z. My mother told me, when that
car get repolled, don't come talking to me.

Speaker 6 (54:47):
And the thing about it is that's generational trauma.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
She's taking from what her mother did to her, what
the mother before her did to her x.

Speaker 6 (54:54):
Y Z blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (54:55):
Nowadays, my mother came to me and apologized later in life,
and she said, if I've ever told you anything that
made you feel less than she said, I apologize. It's
about understanding what the triggers are and being able to
break them.

Speaker 6 (55:07):
And I just want to say, there's no age where
you can't do that.

Speaker 7 (55:10):
Sure, Sarah, Do we use the word triggers too much?

Speaker 11 (55:14):
Yes?

Speaker 8 (55:15):
Yes we do, because a lot of people are using
triggers as an excuse for their bad behavior and lack
of accountability cloaked in the way.

Speaker 7 (55:25):
When I say trigger, I mean you, Sarah, to be
whoever you did something to me. So it's not an
excuse for my bad behavior. I'm saying you made me
feel bad?

Speaker 4 (55:34):
But is it?

Speaker 8 (55:35):
But so you are responsible for how you feel number one?

Speaker 4 (55:39):
Number two?

Speaker 8 (55:40):
Was that what I intended to do? Or is that
how you received it? Are you just taking it personal?
Are you making an assumption right? Most people's triggers are
a literal lack of accountability cloaked in victimhood. For the
ultimate deflection, how do you take how do you take
blame off of yourself pointed at someone else? Wrong? Someone else?
Shame someone else?

Speaker 4 (55:59):
Get it?

Speaker 7 (56:00):
If you show me a picture of somebody being lynched,
I will be triggered. That is not me deflecting or not.
I mean like you're you're hit right, I mean talk
to me.

Speaker 8 (56:14):
I feel like if you're to okay. I know I'm
about to piss a lot of people off because I
believe in one hundred percent responsibility and zero excuses. I'm
one hundred percent accountability. If if someone dies in front
of me, I am still responsible for how I feel.
If someone gets hurt in front of me, I am

(56:34):
still responsible for how I feel. Is it easy to
always be super regulated?

Speaker 6 (56:39):
No?

Speaker 8 (56:39):
I know Doctor B talks about all the time high functioning.
I'm a very high functioning person, which can sometimes lack
a little bit of compassion. I won't lie because my
brain does not wrap around oh, this is all the feels.
My brain wraps around logic, and logic says damn. That
is really sad. I hate that for that person. I
don't have the outrage that comes out of me unless

(57:00):
it's a dire and extreme example like being lynched. But
if the trigger is oh, I don't feel seen, heard
or acknowledged because you didn't. Our community is becoming too soft.

Speaker 7 (57:12):
But they're very real shying. There's very real things that
happen in the world all the time that trigger us.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
Listen, motherfuckers are just triggered and triggering straight up, right up.
You got some people who are using it as a
way to deflect right from their own emotional inability to regulate.
But you've got a lot of people who are really
truly triggered. And when you feel your trigger and express that,

(57:38):
you are not avoiding your emotions, you are actually identifying them.
You are absolutely, absolutely actually saying, like you just said, Terrey,
hold on, you showed me a picture of someone being lynching.
I'm triggered watching that video we just saw. Triggered me
when that brother was talking about how he views the
world but he has to make sure he doesn't view
it in a way that keeps him oppressed. I became

(58:00):
emotionally triggered. Honestly, I became emotional. Does that mean that
I'm hiding behind some trauma I have, no, That means
that I empathize with this brother on what he was saying.
And so, yes, triggering is a word that people may
want to throw around from time to time, but I
also love that we are throwing it around. Let me
tell you why, because We are a culture that doesn't
identify emotion a lot. We are a culture that doesn't

(58:23):
express our emotions very often. That is what causes mental
health issues, depression, anxiety when you suppress your emotions. So
if I got to have my clients come in session,
if I got to have my brothers and sisters say
I'm triggered, good, What does triggered mean for you? What
emotion comes up for you? What triggers you. Let's talk
about that trauma, because that is a gateway and entry
way for me understanding what that means for you. So

(58:46):
I push back. I hear what Sarah was saying, but
I push back on the it being overused. I think
it's a gateway to somebody saying I'm triggered. At least
they know they got an emotion that we can then
identify and work with. Please let me know what you
when the boundaries with me, so I can know how
to help you help yourself, so we both won't be
in this motherfucker trigger.

Speaker 7 (59:05):
With the notion of triggering just the idea which was
not discussed twenty thirty years ago. I just am able
to understand you said something that bothered me. Yes, it's
still my responsibility to regulate my feelings as a mature
adult in the civilization. But I understand I'm not crazy.

(59:26):
You said something that erupted something in me. Now I
have to deal with that. But like, I'm not going
to blame myself for suddenly having all these feelings because
you told me you're not a good father or whatever.
But you know, this has been another fantastic conversation with
all you guys. You bring your heart, you bring your mind,

(59:49):
you bring your soul to every conversation on this show.
You make me laugh, you make me think, even you, Sarah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:00):
Sorry, I want to say something really quick for the
folks in the comments. We're talking about trigger, y'all. I
want you to drop in the comments what triggers you,
What just gets underneath your skin. We want to hear
what is your trigger?

Speaker 7 (01:00:10):
What is It?

Speaker 4 (01:00:11):
Could be something small, like when I'm at the red
light and the person just sitting there. I don't care
how big or small. Write in the comments what triggered you?
And we want to hear from you because I'm very
interested in knowing who triggered you, what triggered you, and
I want to see how we all can identify with that.

Speaker 6 (01:00:25):
I don't like me. I'm just that's my trigger.

Speaker 1 (01:00:28):
Oh my god, Oh I might whip your ass when
I get out your top.

Speaker 6 (01:00:32):
Just me, I'm triggering.

Speaker 7 (01:00:33):
I live in New York City. But the millisecond the
light changes, somebody's like god, I can't even have time
to tell my brain to pursse the guy a lot.
I am triggered.

Speaker 6 (01:00:42):
Now.

Speaker 7 (01:00:42):
I want to get on my car and talk to
you with my fist, but I'm not going to that road.

Speaker 8 (01:00:48):
Rage is it's it's a sign of low emotional intelligence.

Speaker 7 (01:00:53):
Just throwing that out there. It is.

Speaker 4 (01:00:54):
It's low functionings era. It's a lot.

Speaker 7 (01:00:58):
Once again, Ruth Talks keeps it real. I really appreciate
the conversation, the love, the spirit to be tre Sarah,
doctor Scheyenne, Brian, thank you so much. We're gonna have
amazing conversations like this every night APM. Like common, subscribe
on our YouTube at Truth Talks dash Live. You can
always watch us here in the Black Star Network right

(01:01:20):
after Roland Martin Unfiltered, or at YouTube dot com slash
truth Talks dash Live. Support Black Media at the links
on your screen. You can advertise on this show and
access our ten million strong audience. We are here every
night APM, East Coast, West Coast. Get involved. This is
the conversation you want to be having Black America. We're

(01:01:43):
gonna be here every night at APM and we have
chat rooms now where you can come and hang out
with the folks. Doc. Tell them about your room.

Speaker 4 (01:01:52):
Listen, y'all, Doc squad. I have my own doc We
have our own doc Squad room. And the lovers and
the givers and the curly tour are not invited.

Speaker 7 (01:02:01):
Just us.

Speaker 4 (01:02:02):
Okay, we've been doing a lot of that. Get you
know more of the doc talk, the one on one
with docs. I'm even gonna be giving away some one
on one sessions to y'all. And that's the place where
it's a safe space for us to be community, to
talk to chat and you all know me, I like
an open book. I want you guys to be in
their fluid. I want you to be in their cursing.
If you don't curse, don't curse. If you're gonna bring

(01:02:22):
in the golly, bring your shit to the community, because
the dock Squad, you know, we let we bring the
fire and we keep it real. So that is a
place for us, not for the Mother three you see
on here. It's our community. Meet me in the dock
squad room.

Speaker 7 (01:02:36):
Black media is under attack. Keep supporting us by telling
a Fred to tell a Fred and check us out.
Every night a pm is t on the West Coast
eight pm PST. I will see you tomorrow, see y'all,

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