September 16, 2025 • 35 mins
Ever wondered what flight attendants really think about your in-flight behavior? In this episode, we’re diving headfirst into a spicy list of audience-submitted hot takes about air travel—and trust us, some of these takes had us howling, gasping, and nodding in agreement. From flip-flops in the lav to the eternal debate over seat reclining, we’re unpacking it all from 35,000 feet.
We also kick things off with a little summer flying catch-up—how we keep ourselves sane (and stylish) on those sweaty commutes, what’s playing in our AirPods, and how a killer playlist can make all the difference. Then it’s time to get into your opinions on everything from grooming on board to the infamous middle seat. Whether you’re crew or just curious, this episode’s got something for everyone.
Watch the full episode on YouTube
Episode Highlights:
[0:00] Starting off with summer vibes and how we survive commuting in a swamp
[2:24] What's in our AirPods? (Spoiler: lots of queens and throwbacks)
[4:35] Flip flops on planes? Absolutely not. Here's why.
[6:40] Drew’s golden rule: if someone tells you to “ask the flight attendant,” the answer is probably no
[8:53] Middle seat madness—do some people actually prefer it?
[10:08] Is reclining your seat selfish? We debate both sides
[12:03] The gross world of in-flight personal grooming
[13:57] Backpack behavior 101: do you need a license to carry one?
[16:13] The “board back to front” myth—why it doesn’t work
[17:43] Shower and deodorant before flying? Yes, please
[19:58] Window shade politics and why Drew’s keeping his open
[21:01] Shorts on planes and the emotional damage of skin-to-seat contact
[22:53] Why leaving trash behind is just not it
[24:28] Overhead bin drama—your backpack might not belong up there
[25:36] Please don’t bring a tuna sandwich onto the plane, we beg you
[27:20] No headphones? No thank you. Keep your audio to yourself
[28:28] Bare feet on seats and other airplane crimes
[29:32] The chaos of post-landing stampedes
[31:12] Leggings, crop tops, and why we don’t care what you wear—as long as you’re covered
[32:49] Six shopping bags and a Popeyes lunch? Let’s talk about it
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rich (00:00):
You ever wondered what your flight attendants are
really talking about behind thegalley curtain?
Andrew (00:06):
Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an
insider look at flight attendantlife.
Rich (00:11):
We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you
what really goes on at 35,000feet.
Andrew (00:16):
So sit back, relax.
We're ready for takeoff.
Rich (00:21):
Welcome back to two guys on a plane today, we asked the
audience again a question. Weasked them, What are your hot
takes about flying? We all haveour strong opinions and our
thoughts, and every day, itseems passengers come on board
with a new hot take about whatthey think we should do as
flight attendants, what airlinesshould do, and all of the above.
(00:44):
So we asked our audience, whatare your hot takes when it comes
to flying and aviation? And theanswers that came through were
pretty interesting. So we'regonna dive right into that. But
before we get into that, AndrewWeir, in the thick of summer, as
you can tell, I'm sweating myass off. It's just Philly's the
swamp in the summer, and it's sohot. But how's summer flying
(01:05):
going? What are you doing tokeep yourself pumped up out
there while we're flying? It is
Andrew (01:09):
summer flying. You're for sure. You know? I It's the
music on the train ride for me,yeah, training to work, and my
iPod, or phone, whatever youwant to call it, I'm like, 400
years old. My I'm hot, ispumping man,
Rich (01:24):
those songs on Limewire.
Andrew (01:29):
No, you know, you take your train ride and you, I'm
sure if you're driving intowork, there's some sort of music
blasting to get you all pumpedup. So that's usually what it is
for me.
Rich (01:39):
Yeah, I that train ride.
If you guys live in a city andtake the train to work, like,
it's such a good, like, quietspace for your brain before and
after a trip like that time tojust kind of unwind, or, like,
hype yourself up for work andflying and whatever you have
going on that day. It's it can
Andrew (01:56):
be very therapeutic the unwinding on the train ride
home. For me, it's saved ourmarriage, because by the time
you get on an employee bus, getin a car, deal with traffic to
get home. I used to come home somad, so spun up from everything.
But what is on your what's inyour air pods? If you're jamming
(02:18):
out on your way to work, what'sin your air pods? I mean, I
think I know the answer. And ifit's anything other than Kelly
Clarkson,
Rich (02:24):
sometimes it's something other than Kelly Clarkson. For
those of you that don't know, Iam Die Hard Kelly Clarkson, like
fly all over the place to seeher. That's just how I am. It is
usually Kelly Clarkson or apodcast. I've been into a few
different ones of those, justsomething like the podcasts that
are light and funny. I likethose because they kind of keep
you out of the serious headspacewhen you're going to work. But
(02:46):
music lately, I mean, CharlieXCX, pretty much anything by her
is upbeat and fun and just kindof like gets you in a groove.
Miley Cyrus, end of the world ison there right now. Not to be
dramatic, going to work,listening to a song called end
of the world, and thenrelentless, that new Maggie rose
song we saw her in concert acouple years ago, and her voice
(03:08):
is just like, Ah, so good. Butthat song is a good like, pep
you up, kind of song. What aboutyou? What's on your what's on
your playlist?
Andrew (03:16):
97% of the time, it is some sort of Betty.
Rich (03:19):
Who Betty? Who our idol, our queen.
Andrew (03:24):
Yes, she has this song that's like, I don't remember
the name of the song. It'ssomething flying, but the lyrics
start out. The song starts outwith, don't start, no shit won't
be no shit. And that's, that'show I, like, get myself, like,
walking up to KCM, I'm justjamming out being like, don't
start no shit won't be no
Rich (03:44):
don't start no shit is something we should have, like,
a sign at the boarding door, inthe air crying because don't
start no shit with us thissummer. No, we ain't have it
correct.
Andrew (03:52):
So if it's not Betty, who it's usually like, years and
years, or, honestly, I could getold school, or I have usually
got like, oh my god, the SpiceGirls, or Spice Girls, you can't
go wrong, I know. And also, Imean old Brittany, back when it
was Brittany bitch, you knowwhat? I mean, yes, yeah. Iconic,
(04:16):
always yes. But then
Rich (04:17):
it makes me not want to go to work, right? I'm like,
actually, never mind. I justwant to have a party. Let's go
to happy hour.
Andrew (04:23):
Oh, my God, it's the worst part about summer flying.
I love winter flying because yougo to work in the dark. I go
outside at like, 6am and it'slike, sunsets are up and like,
sun's out, buns out. You knowwhat I mean? Like, I don't want
to go anymore. Yeah, exactly.
Rich (04:35):
I'm gonna go read a book and lay on a blanket by the
river. I'm not playing thisgame, correct? But, yeah, oh
yeah. Since we're in the thickof summer, let's get into some
hot takes. We pulled ouraudience on threads. If you're
not following us on threads,we've been doing a lot of these
ask the audience things lately,and we're gonna keep doing
episodes that kind of rant, rantand poll with you guys and have
(04:58):
you rant along with us. So. Weasked our audience, what are
your hot takes about flying? Isaid, I'll go first. Wearing
flip flops on an airplane isgross. And the reason I say
this, a lot of people weregiving us Flack, and it's
clearly non airline people, thefloors on airplanes are gross.
First of all, if you're wearingflip flops through security and
you have to take your shoes off,you're walking barefoot through
(05:20):
the airport, and that's that'sjust gross in itself. And then I
think about going to the lab andhow that liquid on the floor is
not water, and I'm like, no, noto flip flops, no to bare feet.
And then the safety aspect ofit, it's coming. You know, if
you're evacuating an airplanerunning through fire and debris
and whatever, to try and getyourself out of an aircraft
(05:41):
like, flip flops are not thesmart choice in that situation.
So flip flops all around a badvibe for me.
Andrew (05:47):
I don't think I've worn a pair of flip flops even to a
pool in like, 10 years. Yeah, Iusually have some sort of like,
clog or something on, but welive in a city and you walk
around in flip flops and yourfeet are just disgusting at the
end of the day 30 I don't I usedto. I used to never wear shoes,
and now I refuse to wearanything. But because just the
(06:09):
disgustingness of your feet whenyou get home at the end of the
day, I can't do it. So Iunderstand, not just for like,
airplane purposes, just like inlife in general, flip flops are
no for me unless you were, like,actively at a pool actively on a
beach, right? If you'retraveling to a beach, your flip
flops don't take that much roomup, like throw them in your
backpack. That's exactly what Iwas and you're not leaving the
airplane and going straight to abeach. Anyways. So this argument
(06:30):
that like we're going somewherewhere we need floppies? No, I'm
Rich (06:34):
totally with you on that.
What's, what's your biggest hottake personally?
Andrew (06:40):
Oh my gosh, I don't care what anyone else in aviation
tells you. Okay, if someone saysthe like, ask the flight
attendant, the answer is no, andthey just didn't want to give
you that answer. Like, justdon't ask us any questions. No,
no. Like, I had somebody come onthe plane the other day, and
they were carrying, like, a bigwedding dress, and she was like,
(07:00):
I called reservations, and theytold me to ask if you all had a
closet. And I was like, wedon't. And she was like, well,
reservation said you might. AndI was like, I literally looked
at this lady, and I said, well,for future reference, if anyone
other that tells you, anyone inaviation tells you to ask a
flight attendant, the answer isno, and they don't want to say
that to you, right? And she waslike, what? And I was like,
yeah, if the gate agent says,you know, ask the flight
(07:22):
attendant if they can changeyour seat. The answer is no,
because we can't do it for you.
Ask the flight attendant ifthey'll upgrade your seat. The
answer is no. They just didn'twant to tell you that. They
don't want to fight with you.
They know once you're on theairplane, you're you don't,
you're not gonna fight with usabout it. You know what I mean,
right? In general, my hot takefor aviation is that if anyone
other than a flight attendantsays, Ask a flight attendant,
(07:43):
yeah, the answer is no. And theydon't want to tell
Rich (07:45):
you, I hate to say it, but it's that's past the buck. Is
like the theme of our industry.
We all do it, and we all say,Don't do it. And then we all do
it, like, don't say, Oh, thegate agent will handle that for
you. We've all done it. Gateagents say, oh, when you get
down on the plane, ask theflight attendant. Reservation
says, Ask the flight attendant.
We blame catering for stuff likeit's that's just kind of the
nature of the industry. We allsay we're going to be better and
(08:08):
we're not going to keep doingthat to each other. Oh, every
and we all hear asphalt,
Andrew (08:11):
yeah, everything is sorry, catering already
appreciate that you bring thingsto our plane. We blame you all
for a lot of
Rich (08:18):
yeah, sometimes just easier. They're not gonna see
you. They're not gonna they'renot gonna know. But yeah, let's
get into what you guys had foryour hot takes. First of all,
one of the responses was fromthreads itself. So whoever's the
Social Media Manager at threads,I thought it was great that they
weighed in on this. They saidthe middle seat is the best
(08:39):
seat. It's like having a pillowon each side. That is some rage
bait right there. If I'm not, ifI'm not mistaken, because
there's no way anyone actuallyprefers the middle seat, right?
Don't look at me like that.
Andrew (08:53):
Okay, I prefer a middle seat over a window seat, but if
I have my choice, I alwaysprefer an aisle seat. Yeah, I
don't like being trapped. Ican't I'm not claustrophobic
when I get trapped in there. AndI always feel bad about asking
people to, like, get up, so I goto the bathroom,
Rich (09:10):
because middle seat is the caressing one person. I also
window seat. You're asking thewhole row to move, and then
that's like a whole ordeal. I dounderstand that. I feel less bad
about spreading out in themiddle seat, or your man
spreading. No, not manspreading. Just give me my arm
rest on. Yes, you have a pillowon each side. And who is mad
about
Andrew (09:29):
I don't care. I'll elbow both of you. I'll elbow both of
you. I'll sleep on both of yourshoulders. I don't care. Did you
write this? No, do you work? No,I did it.
Rich (09:39):
All right. Well, you're an aisle cedar, though. So I just I
drink too much when I'm on aplane, not an alcohol guys,
don't judge me, but I just liketo be hydrated when we're on the
on planes. Like, I just feellike if you're not constantly
drinking water on a plane,you're just gonna be so dry. So
yeah, I'm always going to thebathroom because I'm always
hydrating.
Andrew (09:58):
Yeah, the next one I have is. Reclining is selfish.
Ooh, I can see both sides ofthis one. Why can you see both
sides of this one?
Rich (10:08):
Well, I feel like reclining. If you're like eating
a meal or something, there'ssuch limited space in your seat
area for the person behind you,like, I get that side of it. But
also, everyone can recline, and
Andrew (10:21):
that eighth of an inch is gonna hurt you. That's gonna
hurt Well, that's exactly
Rich (10:25):
it's like, everybody's right to recline. You know,
like, not just make it sounddeeper than it is, but, I mean,
everybody is entitled torecline. You have that option.
You should be able to. So I kindof get it. But also, you're
right about the eighth of an
Andrew (10:38):
inch, like people, I'm less Mad About You reclining
your seat, then you likethrowing your hair or your seat
back and like ending up in mydrink. Yes, keep your hair to
yourself. Recline your seat andkeep your hair to yourself.
Rich (10:49):
Yeah, totally, a fair point. Um, but yeah, no, you're
right. I mean, people like actinconvenienced by it. I'm like,
the seats don't go back farenough for that to really be
that big of a deal. You knowwhat I all calm down? You know
what
Andrew (11:02):
I hate in this scenario is the person who feels like it
is my job as the flightattendant to tell that person to
pull their seat up. The answeris no, I'm not going to tell you
to pull your seat up. I'm notgoing to handle any disputes for
you. I'm not going to asksomebody to pull their window
shade open or closed. You are agrown person. Use your own
words. If someone is invadingyour space and it's
(11:22):
uncomfortable for you, politelytell them that, no, I'm with you
on that. Do not call me over tobe like they were calling their
seat. I don't care, and I'm notgonna fix it for
Rich (11:31):
and tattletale passengers.
This is not I was in teachingbefore I worked in a preschool.
Those kids behaved better thansome of these passengers, they
knew how to share. They knew howto communicate with each other.
Grown ups on an airplane actinglike children is wild to me, so
Andrew (11:48):
wild to me. So recline your seat. Enjoy yourself. Don't
throw your hair in my soda. Andif you have a problem, speak to
the person next to you. Don'ttouch that. Call Bell. Well, I
mean, you can for good reason,for good reason
Rich (12:03):
I love these hot takes, because we could end up ranting
about all of them for hours. Ohyeah, we're gonna move on. Yeah,
the next one, personal grooming,besides the occasional touch up
of makeup, but nail clipping,sheet masking, tweezing, talking
about the ear cleaning in yourseat is disgusting and
unnecessary. A lot of people donot see this regularly. Okay? I
(12:25):
see the face masks. So I see thetoenail clipping a lot, and I
just do that. Maybe seen thatonce. That is vile. You were
disgusting. I mean, that stufflike those fly, they land in
someone's drink. Get off theplane. I'm done with you, don't
you're not flying this airlineagain. I'm mad today, mad.
Andrew (12:47):
I feel that for me.
Yeah, the heat outside isgetting to me. Yeah, I don't
know. The eye mask, the facemask, that kind of personal
group that doesn't, I don'tknow, doesn't bother me.
Chillax. Relax you. They usuallydo it right before they go to
sleep, right? And I get leftalone for the flight, so I'm not
mad about it.
Rich (13:02):
Yeah, no, I definitely think there's, there's certain
things, like, I don't know,sometimes people get mad at
someone who has like, a littlemirror and they're like, putting
an eye shadow or in lipstick andstuff like that, and it's like,
is that really doing anything tolike that?
Andrew (13:16):
I mean, that doesn't bother me at all. No, like, the
plucking of the eyebrows, theshaving, the toenail clipping,
like nail polish,
Rich (13:25):
like, well, nail polish is against the rules, guys, people
don't seem to know that cannotuse nail polish on an
Andrew (13:32):
airplane. Those are things that should be done in
your own bathroom and not on anairplane. But like, the face
mask, the eye mask, the makeup,like, do you be your best
version when you land. But liketweeze at home.
Rich (13:44):
Tweeze at home. Hashtag, tweeze at home. You heard it
here first.
Andrew (14:52):
There's a really funny image that goes with this one
that explains this a lot better.
But backpacks should be banned.
Rich (14:58):
Backpack should be banned.
What do you think about that?
Andrew (15:01):
Um, no, I don't. I don't think they should be banned. But
I think, much like cars,backpack should, you should have
to apply for a license to carrya backpack, because so many
people don't understand thatthey extend off of them and then
they hit everyone as they godown the aisle,
Rich (15:17):
which everyone they're not paying attention at all.
Andrew (15:20):
I see some people with backpacks who, like, can't get
through the main cabin door withthem. And I'm like, okay, 17 B
or 17 C, 19 D, like, if you canjust make sure that you like,
knock those people on your
Rich (15:33):
Oh, you're so you, I have a list for you. Yeah, people I
want you to hit from mybackpack. And I'm like, I have a
list for you. Also, that flightattendant mid cabin is kind of
annoying me too. Feel free tobump her if you want. Yeah, I
mean, I love backpacks, becausewe go to Europe a lot, correct?
You know, they don't haveescalators, like we do in the
(15:53):
US, like as commonly. I didn'tmake that sound, they don't have
them, but it's just easier whenyou have your back, your one
back. Bag on your back and oneon one in your hand, as just
like traveling around Europe,getting on and off trains and
things like that, like backpacksare convenient
Andrew (16:08):
way to travel, and the person that can't carry the
backpack also can't figure outhow to roll the roller board. So
right, if you ban the backpack,there's just one more thing that
there's not gonna be able to getdown the aisle.
Rich (16:19):
So yeah, I agree with you on having a license to drive any
suitcase, though, like, thepeople that end up pushing them
up the aisle in front of them,we all know that's a bad idea,
and then you see them like, bam,into every like, every seat on
the way up. It's like, bam, bam,bam.
Andrew (16:34):
It's weird to me, the two wheel suitcases. I
understand that it got flippedover, or you're confused about
where the wheels are. Like, youpull it out of the bin and like
you get confused on how to getit out of the plane. It's the
four wheels one, though, for me,like you can pull it forward,
backwards, sideways. Likethere's no reason that that one
still
Rich (16:53):
doing a bad job should be up.
Andrew (16:57):
There's no reason why that one should be a problem for
anybody. I don't get it whenthey all can't figure out the
four wheel ones. I'm like, no,
Rich (17:04):
they trip over them. I see that people trip over them all
the time. Next up, planes shouldbe boarded back to front. Oh,
stop saying this. I know this isone of those things that pass.
Andrew (17:14):
Who was alive in 1952 when they did this? Who? Who has
ever seen this? I mean, I'vebeen flying for 23 years, and
I've never seen this happen.
Yeah, I've never seen us boardback to front who was alive in
1952 when there were 12 peopleon an airplane. Because maybe it
made sense back, maybe it madesense. But as much as it like
you think boarding front to backwould make sense, you still
board humans. And so they callRose 20 or 19 to the back of the
(17:37):
airplane, right? 19 is gonna geton the airplane, and they're
gonna get confused about whetherit's ABC or def, how to get
their bag up, and so they'restill holding up the back person
from getting to their seat,right? And we still have a clog
up. It doesn't work. It. I mean,we still board humans, sorry,
friends, sorry.
Rich (17:56):
That's my main that's the thing is, like, in theory, Sure,
that sounds great. And same withthe whole, you know, board
window, then middle the Nile.
All of that sounds great, butthat requires people to a,
follow directions which we knowthey're not great at, and B, B,
where they're supposed to be atthe correct time to get in line
to do all this order. And it'slike, when you start throwing in
those logistics and realisticsituations, the plane is gonna
(18:18):
go to shit, for sure. Like, so
Andrew (18:22):
Well, the last girl thinks they get off the plane
first. So how do you think thatwe're gonna reverse this? Like,
I don't understand. It doesn'tmake sense to me. I can't do it.
I'm with you on that. The nexthot take I have is, please, for
the love of God, everyone have ashower and use deodorant. I
don't even know why this has tobe a hot take. Like, you are
going to be in a confined spacewith like, hundreds of humans,
(18:43):
right?
Rich (18:44):
This goes back to the toe note clipping, yeah? Like, this
should just be a no brainer.
Should you shower three to anenclosed space with people?
Yeah? Great idea.
Andrew (18:53):
Strongly recommend such a good idea. Yeah? And if you
can't, they still like wipes orthings you can run into a
bathroom and, like, giveyourself a quick wipe if you
didn't get to have a shower,there are options other than
coming on the airplane smellinglike you smell.
Rich (19:08):
I had a passenger ask me for deodorant once, and I was
like, what, you know, you can'thave my deodorant. He's like,
No, I don't want your deodorant.
I want to purchase one. And Isaid, from where? Like, where do
you think this deodorant supplyis coming from? Like, let me
just run to the CVS in our backalley real quick. Like, people
are wild.
Andrew (19:30):
Sometimes, though it might be beneficial to give your
deodorant.
Rich (19:34):
I wouldn't hate that.
Actually, if we did selldeodorant, it probably, probably
sell. Well, honestly, I mightgive mine up, depending on the
day, depending on who it is,yeah. Situation. Next up, I have
a thing about the peeps takecalls all the way before
takeoff, and then they're backon the phone again as soon as
they land. It's rude. Yeah, Idon't feel like that's that hot
(19:56):
take, that hot of a take. Imean, it's fine if you want to,
like, Call someone when you landto be like, Hey, we're almost at
the gate. I'll meet you outsideor whatever. But it's never that
simple, and it's never thatquiet or respectful. It's always
the people who are likescreaming into speaker phone
about their life story. I don'ttalk on my phone all through
boarding. How are you going toknow how important I am? Yeah,
(20:17):
that's the same guy who won'tput his laptop away. Yeah,
exactly.
Andrew (20:23):
How would you know I'm not if I'm not fake typing on my
computer all the way untilyou've asked me four times to
put it away, you won't know I'mimportant. Good job with those
Rich (20:31):
charts and graphs. Gary Larry, whatever the hell your
name is, Am I okay? I'm realmad. I'm very mad at everyone.
Andrew (20:42):
Clearly, I just got off six days of flying because I am
fried when it comes to people.
So the two off the top of myhead, who a two parter? This
one's mad like me. I love it.
Okay, good. If I'm in the windowseat, I don't care if you want
to see wearing my mask, becauseI want to keep the window open,
and I will have it open.
Rich (20:59):
I completely agree. That one, oh, 100 if I'm in the
window seat, I get control thewindow shade. Yeah, I don't care
if you're sleeping, right?
Andrew (21:06):
Not just like the middle seat gets control over the arm
rests agreed in the middle andthe aisle seat gets control over
whether you go to the bathroomor not. So keep your window
shade open. Yeah. If I don'twant to go the bathroom, you
don't go to the bathroom either.
Rich (21:18):
That's how it works. Maybe we can work out something later.
I'll close the window straightfor 10 minutes if you let me go
pee. And those are the rules ofthe ear. Marc, like, yeah.
Andrew (21:27):
And the second part of this is wearing shorts on the
plane is gross. I don't want myskin touching the seat. I know
it's dumb. I can't help it.
However, this does mean I thinkyou are gross. This is gross for
you and for myself. This doesnot mean I think you're gross.
Oh, yeah, I think that's fair.
They're they're telling us thatthey think it's gross for them,
(21:48):
yeah, but they're not gonnajudge you for it. We think flip
flops are gross for airplanes.
So you're allowed to thinkshorts are gross. Yeah, that's
fair. It's fair. I will judgeyou for flip flops. So good on
you for being a bigger human.
Rich (22:02):
People were really mad about that comment, though. In
the comments, everybody waslike, career to judge, and I'm
like, Hi, I'm a flightattendant.
Andrew (22:10):
I want to know. I want to understand, like, what is
your body temperature regulatedat that you can get on a plane
in shorts and a T shirt, though,because I cannot freezing. I go
in like, fleece line pants andlike a hoodie every time I get
on an airplane, because it'slike 12 degrees below zero. So
kudos to you from me if you caneven wear shorts, for sure, I
Rich (22:32):
mean, because it is no for me. Yeah, the temperature range
is crazy on airplanes. We allknow that. Like, it's no secret
whether you're a passenger or aflight attendant. We all know
that. So it's mind blowing whenpeople are like, just completely
unaware that they're notprepared.
Andrew (22:46):
I'm leaving some tropical island after vacation
in like a parka because I knowthat plane is gonna be cold for
me, my I'm exactly that person.
Rich (22:55):
Okay, stop leaving trash all over the floor for flight
crew or cleaners to have to pickup.
Andrew (23:01):
Yes? Yeah. Not a hot take. It's not a hot take. It's
just politeness,
Rich (23:07):
common courtesy, respect the space you're in. No one's
here to clean up after you. Be agood human the end.
Andrew (23:15):
Yeah, I don't know why that's a hot take at all. Yeah,
I don't get it, but they'realways gross. And you know the
routes, and you know thefamilies that are gonna leave
the rows just disgusting, and italways makes me so mad,
Rich (23:28):
the idiotic parents that I can't stand though they're like
kids. Yeah, kids are kids, butyou're the grown up here. Do you
mind? You're the one in charge,you're the one responsible for
these little
Andrew (23:41):
islets, telling too much on myself, because my boss is
probably listening. But I nowtake trash bags and I hand them
out to people on planes, likeyou can just tell you, just know
this is going to be a and I'mlike, you might need this,
Rich (23:54):
yeah, and there's a way to deliver that without seeming
like a jerk too, and be like, incase you need to, like, tidy up
around you or whatever. No, I doit way before that, like, hasn't
been made, like, you can justtell it's coming, right? But you
do that early on, where it's,like, seems nice and it's not
so, like, there's shit on thefloor, here's a mop, like,
(24:15):
there's all about delivery
Andrew (24:16):
with passengers. I do it way earlier in the flight now,
but yeah, that's, that's what Ido? Yeah, for sure. Um, what's
next? Rich roller carry onsuitcases prioritized for
overhead bin space is BS, andpeople bringing reasonably sized
backpacks shouldn't have to losetheir foot room for them. When
was the last time you've pulledanything out of an overhead bin?
(24:37):
Yeah, I don't, I can't bebothered, right? I mean, yes,
we're going to ask you up front.
Like, yes, the roller bags,like, we know how many will fit
up there. The gates areprogrammed to allow a certain
many of those on based on thesize of the bins. So like, yes,
we're supposed to tell you, butyeah, I'm not pulling anything
out of a bin if you put yourbackpack up there.
Rich (24:59):
I just think everyone's entitled to use bin space if
they put your bin space,
Andrew (25:04):
if you put your purse, though, I mean, we talked about
this on another one. There arethings that you just need your
purse, your small like, totebag, right? Like, you know,
there are things in there thatyou need, but if you packed a
backpack that's the size of aroller board, none of us are
pulling that down. Yeah, I don'tknow. I can't imagine it. Flight
Attendant friends weigh in. Areyou all pulling bags out of bins
(25:25):
because it's an
Rich (25:26):
over I don't know anybody that's doing it. What's next
Andrew (25:29):
during boarding? If your group hasn't been called, there
is no reason why you should bein the boarding area, and a man
treats this louder. Sit down.
There's no reason for you to beup if you're in zone Triple X,
because triple zone one has justnow been called like you. We've
already gotten, we haven't evengotten all the numbers, let
(25:50):
alone the letters. Sit down.
Also. Can you pay attention tothe design of the airport? There
is no reason for you to bespilling out a. Cross the
hallways into other boardinglike, like departure gates right
curve with the airport stop justfollowing the person in front of
you. And use some common senseand make an appropriate line so
(26:13):
that people can still movethrough the airport.
Rich (26:16):
I completely agree. I never understood that. Like, you
can see the line veering intothe concourse now no one can get
through. Like, why is no one inthat line thinking, Hmm, I feel
like we're kind of in the wayright now.
Andrew (26:28):
Should we? Because we'll miss the airplane that hasn't
even offloaded yet if we don'thuddle and like, block clean the
hallways. I know it angers me somuch.
Rich (26:37):
People bringing on pungent food, like curries, heavy
garlic, raw onions and orspices, egg salad, tuna
sandwiches. It's just reallyhard to ignore it when you're
already feeling claustrophobicor air sick on the
Andrew (26:49):
plane. Well, then put some rolly deodorant or rolly
perfume under your nose, becausesting. Bringing my stink bomb.
Yeah, do something like that,because I'm bringing my beef
jerky. I'm bringing my tunasalad, I'm bringing my egg
salad. I am gonna eat what Iwant to eat.
Rich (27:04):
We are at work gonna get divorced over this. No, we're
Andrew (27:06):
not. I'm we don't work for the same place. You want to
smell my
Rich (27:10):
lunch. Thank God for that.
I'm in full agreement with this,though. I just think it's
disrespectful to be sitting in atight space and eating a food
that's particularly smelly. Ijust it's this wasn't
Andrew (27:22):
smelly when I packed it.
It's not my fault. It marinated.
Rich (27:26):
No making it marinated it.
Oh, did stop it. That'sdisgusting. But really, I want
to give a shout out to stinkbomb real quick, because we've
worked with them in the past.
And I don't know if you guys sawthis on our Instagram. It's like
a little chapstick looking thingwith, with, like, scented. I
don't even know what it is, but,like, you basically just put a
(27:46):
couple dabs under your nostrilsand it like that's all you smell
is, whatever that smell is, andit works like a charm. Smelly
love, smelly foods, smellypassengers highly recommend. And
it's created by a nurse. Andnurses know bad smells like we
do. So, yeah, just wanted toplug them, not paid or anything.
Just think they're great andcool people. So go get stink
(28:08):
bomb.
Andrew (28:09):
Yeah, you love it. Okay?
The next one I have is music,game noises and watching movies
out loud, as my pet peeve. Andwe agree with you. And I think
most airplane passengers agreewith you.
Rich (28:21):
It's even policy at some airlines, yeah, like, you have
to have headphones on. But yeah,no, if 200 people on an airplane
are all playing something outloud, what sensory overload? I'm
jumping out
Andrew (28:32):
this writer, this writer, and also kids who kick
my seat back, the parents donothing about it, and I have to
complain. I mean, kids are kids.
I kind of get it, yeah, with Idon't know, I'm I'm less
inclined to be mad at a kid.
Rich (28:48):
Yeah,
Andrew (28:49):
as usual, the parents are the problem. The kids are
not the problem. I'm not mad atthe kid. The kid doesn't
understand what they're doing.
You know what I mean? Like, it'sup to the parents and be like,
don't do this, because this willbother X person in front of you,
like, it's but also, if theykeep doing it and that parent
has said something about it,like, I don't know that the
parent hasn't said somethingabout it, I'm just more
forgiving of kids. Like, yeah,crying babies, crying babies.
(29:12):
More mad at the adultscomplaining about the crying
babies than I am the baby. Whatare they gonna do about it?
Rich (29:20):
Putting your bare feet up on someone else's seat is
disgusting. Yes, correct,correct, no. Hot take here,
don't just Yes.
Andrew (29:29):
What I'm learning by these hot takes is we just don't
know how to exist as apopulation
Rich (29:33):
and don't know how to act on the bottom line, goodness,
Andrew (29:36):
if you know you snore like a bear, bring some sleeping
aids or do not go to sleep. Ipersonally hate it when someone
snores louder than my headphonevolume. I'm not mad at them. You
get your nap,
Rich (29:48):
right? I just think it's funny, like your punishment is
you don't get to sleep
Andrew (29:53):
if you snore, not today, tape your islands open. I'm mad
jealous. I really love whenthey're like, snoring, and
they're like, scare themselvesaway. Me, do they realize
they're in public and you'relike, you did it. You did that.
Rich (30:07):
I get it. I mean, some people can't control the
snoring, but also, like, it isfrustrating. It's just funny.
When you walk through the cabinand someone's like, snoring, and
everyone around is staring atyou as you walk through the
cabin, it's like, I'm not wakinghim up. You know you don't do
poke a Sleeping Bear, not doingit. I'm not doing not doing it.
(30:28):
Not Not on my watch. You snoreaway. My little friend,
Andrew (30:33):
people who immediately stand up when the plane lands.
It's annoying and goofy. It justdoesn't
Rich (30:38):
make sense. Where are you gonna go? You're in the last
row. Where are you going?
Andrew (30:43):
I don't know. I feel like, if you, like, stand up
right there at your seat becauseyou've been sitting for so long,
like, after a long flight, andyou just need to, like, stretch
it out and sit back down towait. Like, I get that it's the
people who like, actively runfor the front door when you're
like, I mean, I know. You heardus say, prepare doors for
arrival or whatever, right? Butthat doesn't mean the doors
(31:06):
open. It still takes another,like, three to five minutes for
us to even open, for someoneelse to, like, move a jet bridge
over, open the door. Like, itjust doesn't magically happen.
So, like, Don't bum rush us. No,I I do get that. And I don't
know when we forgot that it waslike row by row that we get
Rich (31:25):
off the airplane. That's my real hot take slash pet
peeve. Here is the people youknow there you've saved got rows
16 through 20 being respectful,waiting for the rows in front of
them. Someone in 25 thinks, oh,well, I'm just gonna get up and
walk past all these people. No,they're being respectful. You
need to do the same. You shoulddo. Why do you think you get to
get off first? Like, it justthat is beyond rude to me. Next
(31:50):
up leggings and crop top.
Wearing leggings and crop topson a plane, I know we made
comments about the flip flops,and that's like, really the only
entire thing that I think reallybothers me, and that's more for,
like, safety and sanitaryreasons, but I don't really care
what people wear on airplanes. Iknow people like to say, dress
nicer, but I don't know you payfor the ticket as long as you're
(32:10):
not offending anybody.
Andrew (32:13):
Like, yeah, I feel like, as long as your nibbles and bits
are covered,
Rich (32:19):
there's really not much more to say them they're up,
Andrew (32:24):
cover your nipples, as long as your nipples and bits
are covered. I don't reallycare. I don't want anybody
telling me what to wear on anairplane, right? So, right, it's
not my job to like police peopleand their clothes. But I guess
I'm gonna leave this one tosomeone else to decide, because
it's not me. I'm not tellinganybody what to wear. Yeah, I
just policing people in thatway. Just feels like a step too
(32:45):
far.
Rich (32:45):
Yeah, I just flying should be for everyone. It should come
as you are. You know, I know wesay a lot of judgmental things
about passengers,
Andrew (32:55):
brush your teeth and put on deodorant. I'm more worried
about that
Rich (33:00):
Exactly, exactly. Okay.
Let's do this one, last one.
This one also had a lot to say,and I love people that love our
rant. You're also the asshole ifyou shove your bag in the first
row in the overhead space, butyour seat is actually in the
back of the plane. Correct?
Totally Correct. You refuse tolet passengers with connections
through and stand on the aisleonce the plane lands, like it's
(33:22):
your job to block the aisle orsomething.
Andrew (33:26):
I mean, did you tell these people you had a
connection, or were they alsojust trying to get off the
plane?
Rich (33:31):
TBD, but yeah, I mostly agree with that statement as
well, though. And then you'rethe last person to board the
plane, and you have six shoppingbags or a bag of food in your
hand. I don't know why that'sbothering this person. I don't
care if you went shopping, andthat's why you almost missed
your flight. Good for you, thatyou made it right. Also, what
kind of food
Andrew (33:49):
do you have? Are you gonna share? Oh, my God, yes. I
almost convinced this lady theother day that Popeyes had a
salmonella outbreak orsomething. And she, like, was
like, what? And I was like, ohyeah. They said, No, you can't
have Popeyes on the plane, so Ineed you to give me that that's
so rude, but also desperatelygave me her food. And then I was
like, Man, I'm just joking withyou. I'm just hungry. And she
(34:10):
was like, I was so mad at you.
I've made passengers about theirfood before, and I'm always
surprised how many of them arelike, Oh, do you want some?
Like, they then feel bad andthink I haven't, like, eaten in
days. And, like, No, I'm justkidding. Like I was just joking.
Like, give me another one. Yeah,and that's not good. Can I have
a dender please? Oh my gosh,yeah. No. I mean, I kind of get
the why. It would bother them,though, like, six bags at the
(34:33):
end of boarding, like, you'rethe last person on the plane.
You know, we're out of binspace, right? And then they're
inevitably mad that we can'taccommodate their 17 shopping
bags. So I get why that would befor sure. Yeah, exactly. But
otherwise, I'm glad you spent amillion dollars in the air,
right? Or have a million dollarsto spend in the airport, which,
and that
Rich (34:51):
was just on like Pringles and a soda from Hudson news.
Like you don't even have to gothat far to spend that much
money at an airport, correct?
That's hunting. That's it forhot takes. Thank you all for
submitting your comments. Wealways love reading what you all
have to say. Plus it validatesus as flight attendants. We're
like, are we just out here, likethe only ones seeing these crazy
things, or are you guys seeingit too? So we appreciate you
(35:12):
sending in your hot takes. Joinus next time for more humor,
heart and stories from ourbeverage cart. This episode was
brought to you by stafftraveler, the number one non rev
app if you travel on standbytickets and are looking to make
your journey easy and stressfree, check out the staff
traveler app in the Apple AppStore or Google Play Store.
Visit staff traveler.com/twoguys to learn more and sign up
Buzz Burbank (35:38):
an ironic Media Productions. Visit us at i r, o,
n, i C, K, media.com, you.
You ever wondered what your flight attendants are
really talking about behind thegalley curtain?
Andrew (00:06):
Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an
insider look at flight attendantlife.
Rich (00:11):
We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you
what really goes on at 35,000feet.
Andrew (00:16):
So sit back, relax.
We're ready for takeoff.
Rich (00:21):
Welcome back to two guys on a plane today, we asked the
audience again a question. Weasked them, What are your hot
takes about flying? We all haveour strong opinions and our
thoughts, and every day, itseems passengers come on board
with a new hot take about whatthey think we should do as
flight attendants, what airlinesshould do, and all of the above.
(00:44):
So we asked our audience, whatare your hot takes when it comes
to flying and aviation? And theanswers that came through were
pretty interesting. So we'regonna dive right into that. But
before we get into that, AndrewWeir, in the thick of summer, as
you can tell, I'm sweating myass off. It's just Philly's the
swamp in the summer, and it's sohot. But how's summer flying
(01:05):
going? What are you doing tokeep yourself pumped up out
there while we're flying? It is
Andrew (01:09):
summer flying. You're for sure. You know? I It's the
music on the train ride for me,yeah, training to work, and my
iPod, or phone, whatever youwant to call it, I'm like, 400
years old. My I'm hot, ispumping man,
Rich (01:24):
those songs on Limewire.
Andrew (01:29):
No, you know, you take your train ride and you, I'm
sure if you're driving intowork, there's some sort of music
blasting to get you all pumpedup. So that's usually what it is
for me.
Rich (01:39):
Yeah, I that train ride.
If you guys live in a city andtake the train to work, like,
it's such a good, like, quietspace for your brain before and
after a trip like that time tojust kind of unwind, or, like,
hype yourself up for work andflying and whatever you have
going on that day. It's it can
Andrew (01:56):
be very therapeutic the unwinding on the train ride
home. For me, it's saved ourmarriage, because by the time
you get on an employee bus, getin a car, deal with traffic to
get home. I used to come home somad, so spun up from everything.
But what is on your what's inyour air pods? If you're jamming
(02:18):
out on your way to work, what'sin your air pods? I mean, I
think I know the answer. And ifit's anything other than Kelly
Clarkson,
Rich (02:24):
sometimes it's something other than Kelly Clarkson. For
those of you that don't know, Iam Die Hard Kelly Clarkson, like
fly all over the place to seeher. That's just how I am. It is
usually Kelly Clarkson or apodcast. I've been into a few
different ones of those, justsomething like the podcasts that
are light and funny. I likethose because they kind of keep
you out of the serious headspacewhen you're going to work. But
(02:46):
music lately, I mean, CharlieXCX, pretty much anything by her
is upbeat and fun and just kindof like gets you in a groove.
Miley Cyrus, end of the world ison there right now. Not to be
dramatic, going to work,listening to a song called end
of the world, and thenrelentless, that new Maggie rose
song we saw her in concert acouple years ago, and her voice
(03:08):
is just like, Ah, so good. Butthat song is a good like, pep
you up, kind of song. What aboutyou? What's on your what's on
your playlist?
Andrew (03:16):
97% of the time, it is some sort of Betty.
Rich (03:19):
Who Betty? Who our idol, our queen.
Andrew (03:24):
Yes, she has this song that's like, I don't remember
the name of the song. It'ssomething flying, but the lyrics
start out. The song starts outwith, don't start, no shit won't
be no shit. And that's, that'show I, like, get myself, like,
walking up to KCM, I'm justjamming out being like, don't
start no shit won't be no
Rich (03:44):
don't start no shit is something we should have, like,
a sign at the boarding door, inthe air crying because don't
start no shit with us thissummer. No, we ain't have it
correct.
Andrew (03:52):
So if it's not Betty, who it's usually like, years and
years, or, honestly, I could getold school, or I have usually
got like, oh my god, the SpiceGirls, or Spice Girls, you can't
go wrong, I know. And also, Imean old Brittany, back when it
was Brittany bitch, you knowwhat? I mean, yes, yeah. Iconic,
(04:16):
always yes. But then
Rich (04:17):
it makes me not want to go to work, right? I'm like,
actually, never mind. I justwant to have a party. Let's go
to happy hour.
Andrew (04:23):
Oh, my God, it's the worst part about summer flying.
I love winter flying because yougo to work in the dark. I go
outside at like, 6am and it'slike, sunsets are up and like,
sun's out, buns out. You knowwhat I mean? Like, I don't want
to go anymore. Yeah, exactly.
Rich (04:35):
I'm gonna go read a book and lay on a blanket by the
river. I'm not playing thisgame, correct? But, yeah, oh
yeah. Since we're in the thickof summer, let's get into some
hot takes. We pulled ouraudience on threads. If you're
not following us on threads,we've been doing a lot of these
ask the audience things lately,and we're gonna keep doing
episodes that kind of rant, rantand poll with you guys and have
(04:58):
you rant along with us. So. Weasked our audience, what are
your hot takes about flying? Isaid, I'll go first. Wearing
flip flops on an airplane isgross. And the reason I say
this, a lot of people weregiving us Flack, and it's
clearly non airline people, thefloors on airplanes are gross.
First of all, if you're wearingflip flops through security and
you have to take your shoes off,you're walking barefoot through
(05:20):
the airport, and that's that'sjust gross in itself. And then I
think about going to the lab andhow that liquid on the floor is
not water, and I'm like, no, noto flip flops, no to bare feet.
And then the safety aspect ofit, it's coming. You know, if
you're evacuating an airplanerunning through fire and debris
and whatever, to try and getyourself out of an aircraft
(05:41):
like, flip flops are not thesmart choice in that situation.
So flip flops all around a badvibe for me.
Andrew (05:47):
I don't think I've worn a pair of flip flops even to a
pool in like, 10 years. Yeah, Iusually have some sort of like,
clog or something on, but welive in a city and you walk
around in flip flops and yourfeet are just disgusting at the
end of the day 30 I don't I usedto. I used to never wear shoes,
and now I refuse to wearanything. But because just the
(06:09):
disgustingness of your feet whenyou get home at the end of the
day, I can't do it. So Iunderstand, not just for like,
airplane purposes, just like inlife in general, flip flops are
no for me unless you were, like,actively at a pool actively on a
beach, right? If you'retraveling to a beach, your flip
flops don't take that much roomup, like throw them in your
backpack. That's exactly what Iwas and you're not leaving the
airplane and going straight to abeach. Anyways. So this argument
(06:30):
that like we're going somewherewhere we need floppies? No, I'm
Rich (06:34):
totally with you on that.
What's, what's your biggest hottake personally?
Andrew (06:40):
Oh my gosh, I don't care what anyone else in aviation
tells you. Okay, if someone saysthe like, ask the flight
attendant, the answer is no, andthey just didn't want to give
you that answer. Like, justdon't ask us any questions. No,
no. Like, I had somebody come onthe plane the other day, and
they were carrying, like, a bigwedding dress, and she was like,
(07:00):
I called reservations, and theytold me to ask if you all had a
closet. And I was like, wedon't. And she was like, well,
reservation said you might. AndI was like, I literally looked
at this lady, and I said, well,for future reference, if anyone
other that tells you, anyone inaviation tells you to ask a
flight attendant, the answer isno, and they don't want to say
that to you, right? And she waslike, what? And I was like,
yeah, if the gate agent says,you know, ask the flight
(07:22):
attendant if they can changeyour seat. The answer is no,
because we can't do it for you.
Ask the flight attendant ifthey'll upgrade your seat. The
answer is no. They just didn'twant to tell you that. They
don't want to fight with you.
They know once you're on theairplane, you're you don't,
you're not gonna fight with usabout it. You know what I mean,
right? In general, my hot takefor aviation is that if anyone
other than a flight attendantsays, Ask a flight attendant,
(07:43):
yeah, the answer is no. And theydon't want to tell
Rich (07:45):
you, I hate to say it, but it's that's past the buck. Is
like the theme of our industry.
We all do it, and we all say,Don't do it. And then we all do
it, like, don't say, Oh, thegate agent will handle that for
you. We've all done it. Gateagents say, oh, when you get
down on the plane, ask theflight attendant. Reservation
says, Ask the flight attendant.
We blame catering for stuff likeit's that's just kind of the
nature of the industry. We allsay we're going to be better and
(08:08):
we're not going to keep doingthat to each other. Oh, every
and we all hear asphalt,
Andrew (08:11):
yeah, everything is sorry, catering already
appreciate that you bring thingsto our plane. We blame you all
for a lot of
Rich (08:18):
yeah, sometimes just easier. They're not gonna see
you. They're not gonna they'renot gonna know. But yeah, let's
get into what you guys had foryour hot takes. First of all,
one of the responses was fromthreads itself. So whoever's the
Social Media Manager at threads,I thought it was great that they
weighed in on this. They saidthe middle seat is the best
(08:39):
seat. It's like having a pillowon each side. That is some rage
bait right there. If I'm not, ifI'm not mistaken, because
there's no way anyone actuallyprefers the middle seat, right?
Don't look at me like that.
Andrew (08:53):
Okay, I prefer a middle seat over a window seat, but if
I have my choice, I alwaysprefer an aisle seat. Yeah, I
don't like being trapped. Ican't I'm not claustrophobic
when I get trapped in there. AndI always feel bad about asking
people to, like, get up, so I goto the bathroom,
Rich (09:10):
because middle seat is the caressing one person. I also
window seat. You're asking thewhole row to move, and then
that's like a whole ordeal. I dounderstand that. I feel less bad
about spreading out in themiddle seat, or your man
spreading. No, not manspreading. Just give me my arm
rest on. Yes, you have a pillowon each side. And who is mad
about
Andrew (09:29):
I don't care. I'll elbow both of you. I'll elbow both of
you. I'll sleep on both of yourshoulders. I don't care. Did you
write this? No, do you work? No,I did it.
Rich (09:39):
All right. Well, you're an aisle cedar, though. So I just I
drink too much when I'm on aplane, not an alcohol guys,
don't judge me, but I just liketo be hydrated when we're on the
on planes. Like, I just feellike if you're not constantly
drinking water on a plane,you're just gonna be so dry. So
yeah, I'm always going to thebathroom because I'm always
hydrating.
Andrew (09:58):
Yeah, the next one I have is. Reclining is selfish.
Ooh, I can see both sides ofthis one. Why can you see both
sides of this one?
Rich (10:08):
Well, I feel like reclining. If you're like eating
a meal or something, there'ssuch limited space in your seat
area for the person behind you,like, I get that side of it. But
also, everyone can recline, and
Andrew (10:21):
that eighth of an inch is gonna hurt you. That's gonna
hurt Well, that's exactly
Rich (10:25):
it's like, everybody's right to recline. You know,
like, not just make it sounddeeper than it is, but, I mean,
everybody is entitled torecline. You have that option.
You should be able to. So I kindof get it. But also, you're
right about the eighth of an
Andrew (10:38):
inch, like people, I'm less Mad About You reclining
your seat, then you likethrowing your hair or your seat
back and like ending up in mydrink. Yes, keep your hair to
yourself. Recline your seat andkeep your hair to yourself.
Rich (10:49):
Yeah, totally, a fair point. Um, but yeah, no, you're
right. I mean, people like actinconvenienced by it. I'm like,
the seats don't go back farenough for that to really be
that big of a deal. You knowwhat I all calm down? You know
what
Andrew (11:02):
I hate in this scenario is the person who feels like it
is my job as the flightattendant to tell that person to
pull their seat up. The answeris no, I'm not going to tell you
to pull your seat up. I'm notgoing to handle any disputes for
you. I'm not going to asksomebody to pull their window
shade open or closed. You are agrown person. Use your own
words. If someone is invadingyour space and it's
(11:22):
uncomfortable for you, politelytell them that, no, I'm with you
on that. Do not call me over tobe like they were calling their
seat. I don't care, and I'm notgonna fix it for
Rich (11:31):
and tattletale passengers.
This is not I was in teachingbefore I worked in a preschool.
Those kids behaved better thansome of these passengers, they
knew how to share. They knew howto communicate with each other.
Grown ups on an airplane actinglike children is wild to me, so
Andrew (11:48):
wild to me. So recline your seat. Enjoy yourself. Don't
throw your hair in my soda. Andif you have a problem, speak to
the person next to you. Don'ttouch that. Call Bell. Well, I
mean, you can for good reason,for good reason
Rich (12:03):
I love these hot takes, because we could end up ranting
about all of them for hours. Ohyeah, we're gonna move on. Yeah,
the next one, personal grooming,besides the occasional touch up
of makeup, but nail clipping,sheet masking, tweezing, talking
about the ear cleaning in yourseat is disgusting and
unnecessary. A lot of people donot see this regularly. Okay? I
(12:25):
see the face masks. So I see thetoenail clipping a lot, and I
just do that. Maybe seen thatonce. That is vile. You were
disgusting. I mean, that stufflike those fly, they land in
someone's drink. Get off theplane. I'm done with you, don't
you're not flying this airlineagain. I'm mad today, mad.
Andrew (12:47):
I feel that for me.
Yeah, the heat outside isgetting to me. Yeah, I don't
know. The eye mask, the facemask, that kind of personal
group that doesn't, I don'tknow, doesn't bother me.
Chillax. Relax you. They usuallydo it right before they go to
sleep, right? And I get leftalone for the flight, so I'm not
mad about it.
Rich (13:02):
Yeah, no, I definitely think there's, there's certain
things, like, I don't know,sometimes people get mad at
someone who has like, a littlemirror and they're like, putting
an eye shadow or in lipstick andstuff like that, and it's like,
is that really doing anything tolike that?
Andrew (13:16):
I mean, that doesn't bother me at all. No, like, the
plucking of the eyebrows, theshaving, the toenail clipping,
like nail polish,
Rich (13:25):
like, well, nail polish is against the rules, guys, people
don't seem to know that cannotuse nail polish on an
Andrew (13:32):
airplane. Those are things that should be done in
your own bathroom and not on anairplane. But like, the face
mask, the eye mask, the makeup,like, do you be your best
version when you land. But liketweeze at home.
Rich (13:44):
Tweeze at home. Hashtag, tweeze at home. You heard it
here first.
Andrew (14:52):
There's a really funny image that goes with this one
that explains this a lot better.
But backpacks should be banned.
Rich (14:58):
Backpack should be banned.
What do you think about that?
Andrew (15:01):
Um, no, I don't. I don't think they should be banned. But
I think, much like cars,backpack should, you should have
to apply for a license to carrya backpack, because so many
people don't understand thatthey extend off of them and then
they hit everyone as they godown the aisle,
Rich (15:17):
which everyone they're not paying attention at all.
Andrew (15:20):
I see some people with backpacks who, like, can't get
through the main cabin door withthem. And I'm like, okay, 17 B
or 17 C, 19 D, like, if you canjust make sure that you like,
knock those people on your
Rich (15:33):
Oh, you're so you, I have a list for you. Yeah, people I
want you to hit from mybackpack. And I'm like, I have a
list for you. Also, that flightattendant mid cabin is kind of
annoying me too. Feel free tobump her if you want. Yeah, I
mean, I love backpacks, becausewe go to Europe a lot, correct?
You know, they don't haveescalators, like we do in the
(15:53):
US, like as commonly. I didn'tmake that sound, they don't have
them, but it's just easier whenyou have your back, your one
back. Bag on your back and oneon one in your hand, as just
like traveling around Europe,getting on and off trains and
things like that, like backpacksare convenient
Andrew (16:08):
way to travel, and the person that can't carry the
backpack also can't figure outhow to roll the roller board. So
right, if you ban the backpack,there's just one more thing that
there's not gonna be able to getdown the aisle.
Rich (16:19):
So yeah, I agree with you on having a license to drive any
suitcase, though, like, thepeople that end up pushing them
up the aisle in front of them,we all know that's a bad idea,
and then you see them like, bam,into every like, every seat on
the way up. It's like, bam, bam,bam.
Andrew (16:34):
It's weird to me, the two wheel suitcases. I
understand that it got flippedover, or you're confused about
where the wheels are. Like, youpull it out of the bin and like
you get confused on how to getit out of the plane. It's the
four wheels one, though, for me,like you can pull it forward,
backwards, sideways. Likethere's no reason that that one
still
Rich (16:53):
doing a bad job should be up.
Andrew (16:57):
There's no reason why that one should be a problem for
anybody. I don't get it whenthey all can't figure out the
four wheel ones. I'm like, no,
Rich (17:04):
they trip over them. I see that people trip over them all
the time. Next up, planes shouldbe boarded back to front. Oh,
stop saying this. I know this isone of those things that pass.
Andrew (17:14):
Who was alive in 1952 when they did this? Who? Who has
ever seen this? I mean, I'vebeen flying for 23 years, and
I've never seen this happen.
Yeah, I've never seen us boardback to front who was alive in
1952 when there were 12 peopleon an airplane. Because maybe it
made sense back, maybe it madesense. But as much as it like
you think boarding front to backwould make sense, you still
board humans. And so they callRose 20 or 19 to the back of the
(17:37):
airplane, right? 19 is gonna geton the airplane, and they're
gonna get confused about whetherit's ABC or def, how to get
their bag up, and so they'restill holding up the back person
from getting to their seat,right? And we still have a clog
up. It doesn't work. It. I mean,we still board humans, sorry,
friends, sorry.
Rich (17:56):
That's my main that's the thing is, like, in theory, Sure,
that sounds great. And same withthe whole, you know, board
window, then middle the Nile.
All of that sounds great, butthat requires people to a,
follow directions which we knowthey're not great at, and B, B,
where they're supposed to be atthe correct time to get in line
to do all this order. And it'slike, when you start throwing in
those logistics and realisticsituations, the plane is gonna
(18:18):
go to shit, for sure. Like, so
Andrew (18:22):
Well, the last girl thinks they get off the plane
first. So how do you think thatwe're gonna reverse this? Like,
I don't understand. It doesn'tmake sense to me. I can't do it.
I'm with you on that. The nexthot take I have is, please, for
the love of God, everyone have ashower and use deodorant. I
don't even know why this has tobe a hot take. Like, you are
going to be in a confined spacewith like, hundreds of humans,
(18:43):
right?
Rich (18:44):
This goes back to the toe note clipping, yeah? Like, this
should just be a no brainer.
Should you shower three to anenclosed space with people?
Yeah? Great idea.
Andrew (18:53):
Strongly recommend such a good idea. Yeah? And if you
can't, they still like wipes orthings you can run into a
bathroom and, like, giveyourself a quick wipe if you
didn't get to have a shower,there are options other than
coming on the airplane smellinglike you smell.
Rich (19:08):
I had a passenger ask me for deodorant once, and I was
like, what, you know, you can'thave my deodorant. He's like,
No, I don't want your deodorant.
I want to purchase one. And Isaid, from where? Like, where do
you think this deodorant supplyis coming from? Like, let me
just run to the CVS in our backalley real quick. Like, people
are wild.
Andrew (19:30):
Sometimes, though it might be beneficial to give your
deodorant.
Rich (19:34):
I wouldn't hate that.
Actually, if we did selldeodorant, it probably, probably
sell. Well, honestly, I mightgive mine up, depending on the
day, depending on who it is,yeah. Situation. Next up, I have
a thing about the peeps takecalls all the way before
takeoff, and then they're backon the phone again as soon as
they land. It's rude. Yeah, Idon't feel like that's that hot
(19:56):
take, that hot of a take. Imean, it's fine if you want to,
like, Call someone when you landto be like, Hey, we're almost at
the gate. I'll meet you outsideor whatever. But it's never that
simple, and it's never thatquiet or respectful. It's always
the people who are likescreaming into speaker phone
about their life story. I don'ttalk on my phone all through
boarding. How are you going toknow how important I am? Yeah,
(20:17):
that's the same guy who won'tput his laptop away. Yeah,
exactly.
Andrew (20:23):
How would you know I'm not if I'm not fake typing on my
computer all the way untilyou've asked me four times to
put it away, you won't know I'mimportant. Good job with those
Rich (20:31):
charts and graphs. Gary Larry, whatever the hell your
name is, Am I okay? I'm realmad. I'm very mad at everyone.
Andrew (20:42):
Clearly, I just got off six days of flying because I am
fried when it comes to people.
So the two off the top of myhead, who a two parter? This
one's mad like me. I love it.
Okay, good. If I'm in the windowseat, I don't care if you want
to see wearing my mask, becauseI want to keep the window open,
and I will have it open.
Rich (20:59):
I completely agree. That one, oh, 100 if I'm in the
window seat, I get control thewindow shade. Yeah, I don't care
if you're sleeping, right?
Andrew (21:06):
Not just like the middle seat gets control over the arm
rests agreed in the middle andthe aisle seat gets control over
whether you go to the bathroomor not. So keep your window
shade open. Yeah. If I don'twant to go the bathroom, you
don't go to the bathroom either.
Rich (21:18):
That's how it works. Maybe we can work out something later.
I'll close the window straightfor 10 minutes if you let me go
pee. And those are the rules ofthe ear. Marc, like, yeah.
Andrew (21:27):
And the second part of this is wearing shorts on the
plane is gross. I don't want myskin touching the seat. I know
it's dumb. I can't help it.
However, this does mean I thinkyou are gross. This is gross for
you and for myself. This doesnot mean I think you're gross.
Oh, yeah, I think that's fair.
They're they're telling us thatthey think it's gross for them,
(21:48):
yeah, but they're not gonnajudge you for it. We think flip
flops are gross for airplanes.
So you're allowed to thinkshorts are gross. Yeah, that's
fair. It's fair. I will judgeyou for flip flops. So good on
you for being a bigger human.
Rich (22:02):
People were really mad about that comment, though. In
the comments, everybody waslike, career to judge, and I'm
like, Hi, I'm a flightattendant.
Andrew (22:10):
I want to know. I want to understand, like, what is
your body temperature regulatedat that you can get on a plane
in shorts and a T shirt, though,because I cannot freezing. I go
in like, fleece line pants andlike a hoodie every time I get
on an airplane, because it'slike 12 degrees below zero. So
kudos to you from me if you caneven wear shorts, for sure, I
Rich (22:32):
mean, because it is no for me. Yeah, the temperature range
is crazy on airplanes. We allknow that. Like, it's no secret
whether you're a passenger or aflight attendant. We all know
that. So it's mind blowing whenpeople are like, just completely
unaware that they're notprepared.
Andrew (22:46):
I'm leaving some tropical island after vacation
in like a parka because I knowthat plane is gonna be cold for
me, my I'm exactly that person.
Rich (22:55):
Okay, stop leaving trash all over the floor for flight
crew or cleaners to have to pickup.
Andrew (23:01):
Yes? Yeah. Not a hot take. It's not a hot take. It's
just politeness,
Rich (23:07):
common courtesy, respect the space you're in. No one's
here to clean up after you. Be agood human the end.
Andrew (23:15):
Yeah, I don't know why that's a hot take at all. Yeah,
I don't get it, but they'realways gross. And you know the
routes, and you know thefamilies that are gonna leave
the rows just disgusting, and italways makes me so mad,
Rich (23:28):
the idiotic parents that I can't stand though they're like
kids. Yeah, kids are kids, butyou're the grown up here. Do you
mind? You're the one in charge,you're the one responsible for
these little
Andrew (23:41):
islets, telling too much on myself, because my boss is
probably listening. But I nowtake trash bags and I hand them
out to people on planes, likeyou can just tell you, just know
this is going to be a and I'mlike, you might need this,
Rich (23:54):
yeah, and there's a way to deliver that without seeming
like a jerk too, and be like, incase you need to, like, tidy up
around you or whatever. No, I doit way before that, like, hasn't
been made, like, you can justtell it's coming, right? But you
do that early on, where it's,like, seems nice and it's not
so, like, there's shit on thefloor, here's a mop, like,
(24:15):
there's all about delivery
Andrew (24:16):
with passengers. I do it way earlier in the flight now,
but yeah, that's, that's what Ido? Yeah, for sure. Um, what's
next? Rich roller carry onsuitcases prioritized for
overhead bin space is BS, andpeople bringing reasonably sized
backpacks shouldn't have to losetheir foot room for them. When
was the last time you've pulledanything out of an overhead bin?
(24:37):
Yeah, I don't, I can't bebothered, right? I mean, yes,
we're going to ask you up front.
Like, yes, the roller bags,like, we know how many will fit
up there. The gates areprogrammed to allow a certain
many of those on based on thesize of the bins. So like, yes,
we're supposed to tell you, butyeah, I'm not pulling anything
out of a bin if you put yourbackpack up there.
Rich (24:59):
I just think everyone's entitled to use bin space if
they put your bin space,
Andrew (25:04):
if you put your purse, though, I mean, we talked about
this on another one. There arethings that you just need your
purse, your small like, totebag, right? Like, you know,
there are things in there thatyou need, but if you packed a
backpack that's the size of aroller board, none of us are
pulling that down. Yeah, I don'tknow. I can't imagine it. Flight
Attendant friends weigh in. Areyou all pulling bags out of bins
(25:25):
because it's an
Rich (25:26):
over I don't know anybody that's doing it. What's next
Andrew (25:29):
during boarding? If your group hasn't been called, there
is no reason why you should bein the boarding area, and a man
treats this louder. Sit down.
There's no reason for you to beup if you're in zone Triple X,
because triple zone one has justnow been called like you. We've
already gotten, we haven't evengotten all the numbers, let
(25:50):
alone the letters. Sit down.
Also. Can you pay attention tothe design of the airport? There
is no reason for you to bespilling out a. Cross the
hallways into other boardinglike, like departure gates right
curve with the airport stop justfollowing the person in front of
you. And use some common senseand make an appropriate line so
(26:13):
that people can still movethrough the airport.
Rich (26:16):
I completely agree. I never understood that. Like, you
can see the line veering intothe concourse now no one can get
through. Like, why is no one inthat line thinking, Hmm, I feel
like we're kind of in the wayright now.
Andrew (26:28):
Should we? Because we'll miss the airplane that hasn't
even offloaded yet if we don'thuddle and like, block clean the
hallways. I know it angers me somuch.
Rich (26:37):
People bringing on pungent food, like curries, heavy
garlic, raw onions and orspices, egg salad, tuna
sandwiches. It's just reallyhard to ignore it when you're
already feeling claustrophobicor air sick on the
Andrew (26:49):
plane. Well, then put some rolly deodorant or rolly
perfume under your nose, becausesting. Bringing my stink bomb.
Yeah, do something like that,because I'm bringing my beef
jerky. I'm bringing my tunasalad, I'm bringing my egg
salad. I am gonna eat what Iwant to eat.
Rich (27:04):
We are at work gonna get divorced over this. No, we're
Andrew (27:06):
not. I'm we don't work for the same place. You want to
smell my
Rich (27:10):
lunch. Thank God for that.
I'm in full agreement with this,though. I just think it's
disrespectful to be sitting in atight space and eating a food
that's particularly smelly. Ijust it's this wasn't
Andrew (27:22):
smelly when I packed it.
It's not my fault. It marinated.
Rich (27:26):
No making it marinated it.
Oh, did stop it. That'sdisgusting. But really, I want
to give a shout out to stinkbomb real quick, because we've
worked with them in the past.
And I don't know if you guys sawthis on our Instagram. It's like
a little chapstick looking thingwith, with, like, scented. I
don't even know what it is, but,like, you basically just put a
(27:46):
couple dabs under your nostrilsand it like that's all you smell
is, whatever that smell is, andit works like a charm. Smelly
love, smelly foods, smellypassengers highly recommend. And
it's created by a nurse. Andnurses know bad smells like we
do. So, yeah, just wanted toplug them, not paid or anything.
Just think they're great andcool people. So go get stink
(28:08):
bomb.
Andrew (28:09):
Yeah, you love it. Okay?
The next one I have is music,game noises and watching movies
out loud, as my pet peeve. Andwe agree with you. And I think
most airplane passengers agreewith you.
Rich (28:21):
It's even policy at some airlines, yeah, like, you have
to have headphones on. But yeah,no, if 200 people on an airplane
are all playing something outloud, what sensory overload? I'm
jumping out
Andrew (28:32):
this writer, this writer, and also kids who kick
my seat back, the parents donothing about it, and I have to
complain. I mean, kids are kids.
I kind of get it, yeah, with Idon't know, I'm I'm less
inclined to be mad at a kid.
Rich (28:48):
Yeah,
Andrew (28:49):
as usual, the parents are the problem. The kids are
not the problem. I'm not mad atthe kid. The kid doesn't
understand what they're doing.
You know what I mean? Like, it'sup to the parents and be like,
don't do this, because this willbother X person in front of you,
like, it's but also, if theykeep doing it and that parent
has said something about it,like, I don't know that the
parent hasn't said somethingabout it, I'm just more
forgiving of kids. Like, yeah,crying babies, crying babies.
(29:12):
More mad at the adultscomplaining about the crying
babies than I am the baby. Whatare they gonna do about it?
Rich (29:20):
Putting your bare feet up on someone else's seat is
disgusting. Yes, correct,correct, no. Hot take here,
don't just Yes.
Andrew (29:29):
What I'm learning by these hot takes is we just don't
know how to exist as apopulation
Rich (29:33):
and don't know how to act on the bottom line, goodness,
Andrew (29:36):
if you know you snore like a bear, bring some sleeping
aids or do not go to sleep. Ipersonally hate it when someone
snores louder than my headphonevolume. I'm not mad at them. You
get your nap,
Rich (29:48):
right? I just think it's funny, like your punishment is
you don't get to sleep
Andrew (29:53):
if you snore, not today, tape your islands open. I'm mad
jealous. I really love whenthey're like, snoring, and
they're like, scare themselvesaway. Me, do they realize
they're in public and you'relike, you did it. You did that.
Rich (30:07):
I get it. I mean, some people can't control the
snoring, but also, like, it isfrustrating. It's just funny.
When you walk through the cabinand someone's like, snoring, and
everyone around is staring atyou as you walk through the
cabin, it's like, I'm not wakinghim up. You know you don't do
poke a Sleeping Bear, not doingit. I'm not doing not doing it.
(30:28):
Not Not on my watch. You snoreaway. My little friend,
Andrew (30:33):
people who immediately stand up when the plane lands.
It's annoying and goofy. It justdoesn't
Rich (30:38):
make sense. Where are you gonna go? You're in the last
row. Where are you going?
Andrew (30:43):
I don't know. I feel like, if you, like, stand up
right there at your seat becauseyou've been sitting for so long,
like, after a long flight, andyou just need to, like, stretch
it out and sit back down towait. Like, I get that it's the
people who like, actively runfor the front door when you're
like, I mean, I know. You heardus say, prepare doors for
arrival or whatever, right? Butthat doesn't mean the doors
(31:06):
open. It still takes another,like, three to five minutes for
us to even open, for someoneelse to, like, move a jet bridge
over, open the door. Like, itjust doesn't magically happen.
So, like, Don't bum rush us. No,I I do get that. And I don't
know when we forgot that it waslike row by row that we get
Rich (31:25):
off the airplane. That's my real hot take slash pet
peeve. Here is the people youknow there you've saved got rows
16 through 20 being respectful,waiting for the rows in front of
them. Someone in 25 thinks, oh,well, I'm just gonna get up and
walk past all these people. No,they're being respectful. You
need to do the same. You shoulddo. Why do you think you get to
get off first? Like, it justthat is beyond rude to me. Next
(31:50):
up leggings and crop top.
Wearing leggings and crop topson a plane, I know we made
comments about the flip flops,and that's like, really the only
entire thing that I think reallybothers me, and that's more for,
like, safety and sanitaryreasons, but I don't really care
what people wear on airplanes. Iknow people like to say, dress
nicer, but I don't know you payfor the ticket as long as you're
(32:10):
not offending anybody.
Andrew (32:13):
Like, yeah, I feel like, as long as your nibbles and bits
are covered,
Rich (32:19):
there's really not much more to say them they're up,
Andrew (32:24):
cover your nipples, as long as your nipples and bits
are covered. I don't reallycare. I don't want anybody
telling me what to wear on anairplane, right? So, right, it's
not my job to like police peopleand their clothes. But I guess
I'm gonna leave this one tosomeone else to decide, because
it's not me. I'm not tellinganybody what to wear. Yeah, I
just policing people in thatway. Just feels like a step too
(32:45):
far.
Rich (32:45):
Yeah, I just flying should be for everyone. It should come
as you are. You know, I know wesay a lot of judgmental things
about passengers,
Andrew (32:55):
brush your teeth and put on deodorant. I'm more worried
about that
Rich (33:00):
Exactly, exactly. Okay.
Let's do this one, last one.
This one also had a lot to say,and I love people that love our
rant. You're also the asshole ifyou shove your bag in the first
row in the overhead space, butyour seat is actually in the
back of the plane. Correct?
Totally Correct. You refuse tolet passengers with connections
through and stand on the aisleonce the plane lands, like it's
(33:22):
your job to block the aisle orsomething.
Andrew (33:26):
I mean, did you tell these people you had a
connection, or were they alsojust trying to get off the
plane?
Rich (33:31):
TBD, but yeah, I mostly agree with that statement as
well, though. And then you'rethe last person to board the
plane, and you have six shoppingbags or a bag of food in your
hand. I don't know why that'sbothering this person. I don't
care if you went shopping, andthat's why you almost missed
your flight. Good for you, thatyou made it right. Also, what
kind of food
Andrew (33:49):
do you have? Are you gonna share? Oh, my God, yes. I
almost convinced this lady theother day that Popeyes had a
salmonella outbreak orsomething. And she, like, was
like, what? And I was like, ohyeah. They said, No, you can't
have Popeyes on the plane, so Ineed you to give me that that's
so rude, but also desperatelygave me her food. And then I was
like, Man, I'm just joking withyou. I'm just hungry. And she
(34:10):
was like, I was so mad at you.
I've made passengers about theirfood before, and I'm always
surprised how many of them arelike, Oh, do you want some?
Like, they then feel bad andthink I haven't, like, eaten in
days. And, like, No, I'm justkidding. Like I was just joking.
Like, give me another one. Yeah,and that's not good. Can I have
a dender please? Oh my gosh,yeah. No. I mean, I kind of get
the why. It would bother them,though, like, six bags at the
(34:33):
end of boarding, like, you'rethe last person on the plane.
You know, we're out of binspace, right? And then they're
inevitably mad that we can'taccommodate their 17 shopping
bags. So I get why that would befor sure. Yeah, exactly. But
otherwise, I'm glad you spent amillion dollars in the air,
right? Or have a million dollarsto spend in the airport, which,
and that
Rich (34:51):
was just on like Pringles and a soda from Hudson news.
Like you don't even have to gothat far to spend that much
money at an airport, correct?
That's hunting. That's it forhot takes. Thank you all for
submitting your comments. Wealways love reading what you all
have to say. Plus it validatesus as flight attendants. We're
like, are we just out here, likethe only ones seeing these crazy
things, or are you guys seeingit too? So we appreciate you
(35:12):
sending in your hot takes. Joinus next time for more humor,
heart and stories from ourbeverage cart. This episode was
brought to you by stafftraveler, the number one non rev
app if you travel on standbytickets and are looking to make
your journey easy and stressfree, check out the staff
traveler app in the Apple AppStore or Google Play Store.
Visit staff traveler.com/twoguys to learn more and sign up
Buzz Burbank (35:38):
an ironic Media Productions. Visit us at i r, o,
n, i C, K, media.com, you.
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