Episode Transcript
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Rich (00:00):
Have ever wondered what
your flight attendants are
(00:03):
really talking about behind thegalley curtain?
Andrew (00:06):
Welcome to Two guys on a
plane. Your go to podcast for an
insider look at flight attendantlife.
Rich (00:11):
We're your hosts, rich and
Drew, and we're here to tell you
what really goes on at 35,000feet.
Andrew (00:16):
So sit back, relax.
We're ready for takeoff.
Rich (00:21):
Welcome back to two guys
on a plane. Today, Andrew and I
are going to talk about datingin aviation, dating and making
relationships work. It's nosecret that the two of us met on
a plane, started dating on aplane, pretty much, and are here
11 years later to tell thestory. So we're gonna get into
what balancing a relationship inthis industry looks like, how
(00:44):
difficult and easy at times,relationships and aviation can
be. But first, let's talk alittle bit about our week of
flying. Andrew, how are thingsgoing out in the skies for you?
Andrew (00:55):
Um, I don't want to jinx
myself, but I've had a pretty
easy flight week. I only did,like, three days worth of work.
Um, pretty short days, everyday. Great crew. So I don't, I
don't want to jinx myself fornext week, but this one was
really, it was actually prettycalm. How's it? Yours
Rich (01:12):
same actually. Isn't that
always nice when you're like,
things are going according toplan, right? Things have been on
time. Passengers have been anice crew members, pilots.
Everybody's been getting along.
It's like, oh, this is why I dothis job. This is why I love
this it's when it works. It'sreally fun. We caught
Andrew (01:28):
one small delay, but
made up all the time. We landed
in our, like, a layover citywith, like, on time, yeah, like,
no one was really, no one reallyhad anything to say. It was
really cool. I love hearingthat. I know.
Rich (01:40):
Yeah, I had anyone too. I
had this couple the other day,
and they came on and they both,they came out in wheelchairs.
And they, they didn't, they hadsuitcases. But they, I mean, it
was those suitcases where, like,you go to try to lift it for
them, and it's so light thatyou're like, is there anything
actually in this suitcase? Butthey were so sweet. I was kind
(02:00):
of nervous at first, because shewas she came out, and she was
kind of like griping aboutsomething that the airline was
doing. And I was like, camel,unfortunately, that happens
sometimes, but they ended upbeing the sweetest couple. And
they were celebrating 50 yearsof marriage, and they were we
flying to, how sad is it that Idon't remember, but we were
flying to somewhere in theCaribbean, and they were like,
(02:20):
Oh, we just, we're going forwarmer weather. And of course,
they were from like Florida,because I was like, you two are
the sweetest.
Andrew (02:29):
I love those days. Yeah,
that's cute. I like that story.
It was cute. I hope we can makeit to 50. Let me rephrase that.
That
Rich (02:38):
sounded a little dark.
We'll see how we do this each
Andrew (02:42):
other all the time.
Welcome to our relationship. No,it
Rich (02:47):
is a good segue, though,
because I do feel like I see
those couples and I'm like, 50years. I mean, you and I have
made it 11 and almost 11, andthen we've been married for
almost eight, and it's, is it811 I'm not good at math,
Andrew (03:03):
and you think I'm going
to be any better?
Rich (03:05):
Well, we've been together
roughly somewhere between five
and 15 years. You decide whatnumber you choose, because we're
going to change it every day,any right? I mean,
Andrew (03:13):
we can't even land on
the day that we start a day. How
are we going to land on? Thathas been a constant. But, yeah,
I think we're coming up on it'llbe eight years of marriage in
October, so we've been togetherfor 11 but yeah,
Rich (03:24):
I mean, looking back at
it, I remember, you know, if you
don't know the story of how wemet, I was working a flight to
Nashville where Andrew wasworking at the time, and I was
pretty new to flying, so awkwardand trying to follow the rules.
Also, the awkward part isnothing to do with my career.
That's just who I am as aperson. But I was pretty
(03:45):
awkward. And I was flying withthis super sassy gay guy, and he
would do this little thing wherehe would clap anytime, like a
like, cute guy would come on theplane. And so my now husband,
Andrew, comes on, and he waslike, welcome, and he's doing
this, like, cute little clap.
And do you
Andrew (04:01):
know what it's like to
walk on to a plane to a round of
applause, because it's, it'spretty fun.
Rich (04:06):
Yeah, you would like, why
isn't every flight starting with
me on everyone clapping for me?
Yeah? Pilots clap when the planelands. We should get clapped at
when, like, the beverage serviceis done or something. And so I
was like, Okay, I agree withthat. He's cute, yeah. And he
goes, You should go talk to him.
And I was like, No, I'm notgonna be that weird flight
(04:26):
attendant that, like, is justgoing up and talking to
passengers they think is cute.
And he was like, Just do it. Andso we started talking, and I was
painfully awkward. And Anyways,long story short, the flight
ends, Andrew gives me his phonenumber, and it's like, Call me
if you're ever in Nashville. Andit was on, like, the boarding
pass. It was super cheesy, supercute. And I was like, okay,
yeah. Like, I'll, I'll do that.
(04:49):
Sure. And, like, totally forgotto tell him that. I was like,
you want to know what part leftrich left out that make me look
bad that he was laying over. So,yeah, I was laying over. And.
Sure that night totally failedto tell Andrew and all the
conversations we had up to thispoint. And I got off the plane
and I texted him, and I waslike, hey, so funny story, we're
(05:10):
in Nashville tonight, and he'slike, oh, did something cancel,
you know? Because he's assumingthat I canceled. And obviously a
sane person would have told himthat we were going to be in
Nashville that night. Well,that's my work is
Andrew (05:23):
I commute from where we
were, like, to Nashville, so I'm
also fairly aware of theschedule. Most of the crews are
a turn airline. They do turns togo back. This isn't like a
layover
Rich (05:33):
thing. You were on this
flight regularly, and you're
like, Okay, and so I just leanedin. Was like, Yeah, something
like that. Anyways, long storyshort, we end up going out to
dinner that night. And I thinkthe first like, year of us
dating, we were in differentcities. You were in Nashville, I
was in DC, and we were just kindof bouncing around, like, I
don't know, it's weird whenyou're dating a fellow flight
(05:55):
attendant, because you're like,This is not like any other
relationship. We don't live inthe same place. Long Distance
isn't as long of a distance ascouples who don't have flight
benefits, right? What? What doyou remember about that? How was
that for you when we starteddating?
Andrew (06:10):
Um, I mean, looking
back, I think it was a lot of
fun. I think that you made mefeel really special when we
started dating because of theamount of effort that you were
putting in. It was text, it wasphone calls. It was joining each
other on overnights or planningvacations or things like that.
So, like, that's a really niceway to say stage five clinger.
No. I mean, no, because it does.
It takes a lot of work. Like,we're not always in one time
(06:32):
zone, we're not always in onecity, we're not always in one
space. So the I mean, I hope youfelt the same effort that I was
feeling, but it just made mefeel really special, because
there was a lot you were puttingin a lot of effort to make sure
that you know we werecommunicating or seeing each
other.
Rich (06:51):
Yeah, I think that's
honestly one thing that I really
love about dating in thisindustry, or loved about dating,
not currently dating. That madeit sound weird, but I that I
really loved is like, we had tomake that effort to see each
other or it wasn't going tohappen. And I think, like, we
both dated other people thatweren't in the industry and
(07:12):
people that were in theindustry. And it just, you
really see the difference thereof, like, understanding the
lifestyle or not understandinglifestyle. And it really forced
us to, like, bounce around.
Like, I remember we'd be like,Okay, you're flying this week.
Where are you? Okay, I'm inChicago. I'm in Phoenix, and I'm
In Miami, or whatever the casemay be, I don't know. I said
Miami, we never, it
Andrew (07:35):
was always random, go to
Miami, but yeah, we went there
for Christmas. And then we endedup watching, like, meet me in St
Louis on our overnight together,right?
Rich (07:46):
We're so cheesy. We always
have been,
Andrew (07:48):
yeah, but yeah,
milkshakes under the arch. And
then we went and watched, meetme in St Louis, because that's
where we were for the holiday.
We were
Rich (07:55):
always bouncing around.
And I feel like, Yeah, I mean itwas chaotic, because you'd be
like, Okay, I'm in St Louis for12 hours, and it's like, when
you start dating, you reallywant to see somebody, and so
you're like, Well, I guess I'llhop on a flight. No one see. See
what that looks like. You knowwhat I wish we had back then
too, because I remember howchaotic this was, trying to get
on a flight, and if you flystandby and have airline
(08:15):
benefits, you know how chaoticThis is. But trying to find
seats and find flights that haveseats like I wish. Staff
traveler, if you guys know it,it's an app that non revs use
for standby travel, and it givesyou seats from different
airlines. It's totally free. Iwould have made this so it would
have made dating so much easierbecause staff traveler, you just
plug in the city. So say, I wantto go from Philly to LA and
(08:38):
it'll give you different optionsto be like I want to be like, I
want to connect through here. Iwant to go here. I want to fly
only this airline or thisairline. And you can just get
loads for every flight. Andpeople, other airline employees
around the world, put in theirflight loads for their own
respective airline. And then youget to see, okay, this flight
has 12 seats open, six peoplelisted. Okay, I have a decent
(08:59):
shot at getting on that. Thatwould have made life so much
easier, much easier, because
Andrew (09:04):
you were flying and I
was texting you for loads to
figure out what seats like onyour airline that I was trying
to get to where you were,because obviously, that's the
easiest way to do it, right?
Yeah, it would have made life somuch easier. Also, it would have
made it easier to surprise you.
Rich (09:18):
That's fair too, right?
Rather than being like just yourairline, you can just go to
staff traveler, right, and nothave to bother your airline
people. And that's one thingthat I always it was so chaotic
because you'd be messagingpeople from, like other
airlines, they wouldn't get backto you, or, you know, things
like that. And it's like you'reposting on Facebook and these
like, load share groups thatnever quite there either weren't
(09:39):
accurate or they didn't get backto in a timely manner. And I
Andrew (09:46):
think that this is one
of those places where the fact
that we don't work for the sameairline made it more difficult
for us, because it's not like wecould bid the same overnights.
We don't stay at the same hotelswhen we do get to overnight, so
it took a lot more work. To doit, because we would bid
overnights together, right?
Like, okay, let's both bid forPhoenix on Saturday the 12th,
and see what happens if we bothget them, then we'll hang out.
(10:09):
And, you know, we were doingthings like that, so, but then
you still have to figure out howto get to each other, because
we're not in the same hotels,right? Would have made it way
easier if we worked for the sameairline, but it's no for me.
Rich (10:27):
I would agree with that.
But yeah, I mean staff travelerand just technology in general.
I mean, I don't know how peopledid it before FaceTime, before
texting, Oh, for sure. I meanthe ability to
Andrew (10:39):
share airplanes, where,
yeah, tech swap. I mean, you're
not supposed to, but you have alittle bit of downtime, you can
be like, Hey, thank you. Haveyou today, right?
Rich (10:48):
But like sharing your
schedules and all of that just
makes it so much easier toconnect with people I can't
imagine. Like, oh, I've got torun down to the lobby and use a
phone or something. Like, peopledefinitely couldn't date the way
we do now. I mean,
Andrew (11:03):
when I started it, you
did that, I did that. Yeah,
Rich (11:07):
different, different
times, right? Yeah, you would
have had to
Andrew (11:10):
have done it that way,
because it was like paper
schedules and pagers,
Rich (11:13):
yeah, and you're right
about us working for different
airlines too. I often fly withcouples at my airline, and I
always find that interesting,because I can't tell if you and
I would like totally vibe andget along, because, you know, we
have the same level ofexpectation when it comes to,
(11:34):
like, what our co workers do, orif that would drive us to, um,
marriage counseling.
Andrew (11:40):
I mean, I think it would
be fun. Um, if we did, I I feel
like we either have to work inthe same galley or, like,
different aisles if we weregoing to do it, but I feel like
if you know, we were indifferent galleys, we'd both try
to be in charge of the airplane.
So I don't I think that wouldcause us to fight. But, yeah, I
would say it would have madedating eater easier if we worked
for the same airline, that's forsure, but
Rich (12:05):
sustaining the
relationship maybe,
Andrew (12:08):
yeah, but I really loved
dating, particularly another
flight attendant. And I reallyloved dating someone who didn't
work for the same airline as me,because you understood what I
was going through, but youdidn't know the exact ins and
outs of of my job. So, like, westill had things to talk about,
right? And just the travel of itall, I kind of miss it. I wish
(12:29):
we did it more now. Like, I wishwe still did some of those
things that we used to do, butlike, what? Like joining each
other on layovers, or planningintentional too, every now and
then, every once in a while, butnot as much as we did when we
first started dating. That'sfair, because that was our whole
dating life, right?
Rich (12:48):
Was meeting up in random
cities. Yeah, yeah, which is so
not traditional dating at all.
And that's one thing that Idon't I dating non airline
people while being in theindustry was always so
aggravating, because I would getso tired of the questions of,
like, where are you now? Like, Idated this one guy, and he was
like, Oh, you're so distant. Andit's like, yes, quite literally,
(13:11):
I am in California and you werein Washington, DC, like, and he
just could not get the grasp of,like, I'm gone all the time. I
remember
Andrew (13:22):
I was dating this dude,
and we had dated, we had gone on
like three dates. Now, granted,this was probably over the span
of like three or four months,because it's like all I could
fit into my schedule. But Iremember on the third date, him
being like, did you do youreally like your job? Yeah, like
a lot.
Rich (13:41):
Yeah. Yeah, tickles,
Unknown (13:43):
very clingy. There's
Rich (13:44):
a long story there, and
maybe that's the whole podcast
episode in itself. But we won't,we won't get into it. Well,
Andrew (13:49):
he wasn't the only one.
He wasn't the only one, butthere were, like, when you're
dating someone that's not in theindustry, kudos all of you who
are trying to startrelationships while being a
flight attendant with people whoaren't in the industry. I
couldn't do it. It was too much,because everyone would be like,
so when are you home again? Doyou really love your job? Like,
why does feel like I don't eversee you? Yeah,
Rich (14:12):
and it's that there's
like, two sides of that too,
right? For people that are inaviation trying to date people,
you've either got the people whoare like that, where they're
like, Oh, you're so distant, orthey have trust issues that were
always gone, and they hearcliche stereotypes about
fighting as being like Skymattresses and air mattresses
and whatever they call us tomake us sound like we're all
(14:34):
just promiscuous or whatever.
And then you've got the flipside of it, where the people
like fetishize like our job, andit's like, you don't actually
want to date me as a person. Youjust are turned on by my job, or
you want my flight benefits. Andit's like, well, now you're just
being a creep. Like, get awayfrom me. Yeah, I don't, I don't
envy the people that are aredoing this and dating non
(14:55):
airline people, because it gets.
Uh, exhausting sometimes, right?
But, yeah, I mean, with ourschedules and stuff, do you
think that makes dating easier,or, like, in terms of getting
past dating, but likemaintaining our relationship,
people always ask us, you know,your schedules are chaotic. Do
you even see your husband? And Idon't know. I feel like we do.
(15:18):
Do you feel like our schedulemakes it easier, or more
difficult for us to kind of keepthe spark alive. So maybe it's
Andrew (15:27):
because I'm used to it,
but I feel like it's easier,
yeah, and I feel like we're of asimilar wavelength, like we're
together or we're apart, like II'm not tracking your schedule
all day. I don't know where youare, what you're doing, so I
think it gives us things to talkabout, right? I know those
couples who were like, he justlanded in this city, but yeah, I
mean, I feel like when we'retogether, we're together, I feel
(15:50):
like we spend like, full blockof three days off. We spend that
together like we're veryintentional with our time, and
we use times like when we're nottogether, for friends or for
hanging out with friends, and Ifeel like there's a really good
balance for us if it's not likemutual friends. So you know, we
will hang out with friendstogether, but if it's friends
(16:11):
that we don't share together, weuse times when we're not home
together for that. You know whatI mean? So I think we set up our
schedules in a way where weactually spend more time than
the traditional couple who'shome Monday through Friday?
Yeah, I would agree with thatworks in nine to five Monday
through Friday,
Rich (16:27):
right? I just feel like
people with nine to five jobs,
you get stuck in such a rut andlike a monotony, it's like,
okay, sure, you might see yourspouse or signify another,
whoever it is, every single day,but you take that for granted.
You take that time for granted.
Like, you get home at the end ofthe day, you bitch about work a
little bit, you have dinner andyou go to bed and you wake up
the next day and you do the sameexact thing. It's like, you and
I fly three four days. We don'tsee each other, honestly,
(16:51):
sometimes we barely talk. Imean, we text a lot, yeah, but
we don't always have time forphone calls and things, because,
you know, I'll be doing a redeye, and you'll be doing flights
during the day. So it's like,when we are together, we're
both, I think it makes us bothmore appreciative of the time we
have together, and it forces usto really be like, You know
what? We haven't seen each otherin a week. This one day that we
(17:13):
have together is going to belike, uninterrupted hangout
time, yeah, like, where phonesdown, catching up on our
favorite TV shows, cookingdinner, going for ice cream,
like, going for a walk, doingall the things. And I really
feel like there's so many peopleout there that I hear like, Oh,
it's so hard, yes, but also thatsort of stuff really forces you
(17:36):
to to make it work and to pushforward, right?
Andrew (17:40):
And if we really miss
each other, we jump in a fight,
we go on an overnight together,right? Even if they're not the
glamorous ones. I normally onlyjoin for the glamorous ones
these days, I
Rich (17:50):
remember once I you had,
like, Philly overnights. There
was a period where you weren'tbased in Philly, Oh, yeah. And
you would have layovers, like atthe Philly airport, and I would
go stay with you in the hotel,yeah, and I remember, like,
things like that, that it's justfunny, because people would be
like, what? Like, this doesn'tmake any sense. Why didn't
Andrew (18:08):
you just go home? Right?
He's like, it's more fun. Like,it makes it like a fun little
adventure. But, like, you wouldhave like, 11 hour overnights in
the Philly airport, and I'd belike, sitting in the lobby
waiting for you to get there.
Love those days. I know rememberthat day. I don't know where I
was coming in from, but Iremember I cleared customs to,
like, run back to get onwhatever plane you were going
to, I think you were going toLisbon or something like that.
(18:29):
Oh, yep. And I was coming out ofcustoms and was texting, you
were like, we have seats. And Iwas like, Okay, I'll be there in
three
Rich (18:36):
minutes, like, a 12 hour
day, just to then get on like, a
six hour flight with me. And itwas like only flight attendants
would do this chaotic kind ofshit, because most people would
be like, that sounds insane, butif
Andrew (18:47):
I didn't do it, we would
have gone two more weeks without
seeing each other, and thatdidn't sound fun to me either,
because our days off didn't lineup. So
Rich (18:55):
oh, you know what else I
loved when we first started
dating, is we were always in thesame airports at the same time,
and I would be working a flightin and out of somewhere, and you
would come and you would meet mewith coffee at the game. You did
that a lot like, I actuallyprobably owe you money, but,
(19:16):
yeah, no, I that was always justmade my day because I'd be
working this quick turn in andout of an airport, and I'd be
like, Oh, I have to run up realquick. And my crew would be
like, we don't have time foranything. We're about to board.
And I'm like, I know, I know.
And I'd run up and I'd kiss youin the airport, and you'd have a
coffee with your name on it,because obviously you were the
one who ordered it. And I wasjust felt like, I'm hot shit,
like I got this guy shows up tomy airplane and he brings me
(19:39):
coffee and, yeah, stuff likethat. I just love it. Yeah,
dating in this industry is notfor the faint of heart, though.
I'll say that No, like you gottabe,
Andrew (19:50):
for sure, committed. You
have to put some work into it.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you feellike you have to be? Do you feel
like being independent isimportant? And if you're dating
in aviation, because, well, forsure, yeah, you're not always
alone, though that's the wildpart, right? Like, because if
I'm at work, I'm surrounded bypeople, but yes, you are alone.
(20:11):
Yes, you do have to beindependent. It, it is a part of
it. But more than independence,I think, like, open and honest
communication is important,right? Because, like, you can
say, I'm lonely, I miss you, andyou can adjust schedules, or you
can say, I got this this week. Idon't really need you, you know
what I mean. But so, yes, Ithink to a point you need to be
(20:32):
independent, but I don't thinkthat has to be your whole
personality either.
Rich (20:37):
Yeah, that's a good point.
I being independent is such alike, I don't know unique thing.
I feel like, when you grow up,you think independent means,
like, I don't need nobody. I gotme. The rest of you don't
matter. And it's like, really,there's a balance to it. Like
you have to be able to beindependent and live your own
life, but also being able to,like, coexist with somebody and
lean on them when you need them.
(21:01):
I don't know it's interesting,but that's
Andrew (21:02):
why I said earlier.
Like, there's together, there'sour time together and there's
our time apart. Like, when we'retogether, I don't have to be
independent, yeah, right. Butwhen we're not apart, I don't
care where you are. If there's aBible, no, I tell my mom this
all the time too. If there's aproblem, someone is gonna call
you and tell you that there's aproblem, you know? But
otherwise, I don't need to,like, watch every city that
(21:25):
you're in all day long to belike what he landed in. I It's
weird. If that's what you need.
That's good for you. I love thatjourney for you. I just feel
like my personality, it wouldmake it really hard for me,
yeah, to be in a relationshipwhere I felt like I had to,
like, track you all day long,right?
Rich (21:41):
Or, like, check in with
someone like you said, trust and
communication and honesty, likethat sort of thing. If you need
to know, like, the secondsomeone lands somewhere, or
whatever. Like, are you in thathealthier relationship? If
you're that CO dependent, and,
Andrew (21:55):
I mean, we try to do
that for each other, we really
do, we'll be like, taking offlove you have a great day,
right? Landed. Miss you, butsome degree also you forget to
do those things too, because youget busy and life gets chaotic,
and boarding and deploying, youget chaotic, and you don't
always have time to do it. So IYes, that's why I say this is a,
yeah, it's a fine balance.
Because if you need thosethings, for me, I need you to
say that in a way, right, thatlike makes sense. But
Rich (22:19):
I do think there's,
overkill too. I mean, there's
some couples in this job, andnot that it's wrong to, like,
fly together or work togetherall the time, but like to be so
co dependent that, like, youcannot be apart from someone,
kind of makes me worried forpeople too, because it's like,
are you losing yourself in thatrelationship? Like, do you have
(22:40):
time for you? Do you have time?
Like, for me, I love it. Like,having layovers alone sometimes
is so nice because it's like,this is like, me time to, like,
watch whatever stupid show Iwant to watch that maybe you
don't like, or whatever. Like,that time that we get to spend
apart. So you can starfish,starfish in the bed, exactly. I
do that when you're there tooand you don't like it. But just
having that time alone to like,be you're just free alone,
(23:04):
whatever you know, I agree youneed the headspace you need to,
like, reset and just time alone.
And it's cliche, but absencemakes the heart grow fonder.
Andrew (23:17):
But now I need to know,
because we don't work for the
same airline, so we can't flytogether, but I feel like maybe
we need to find some friends tocome have this conversation with
us, to be like, to compare,right? That kind of like dating
story. What
Rich (23:29):
is dating? Right?
Together? Is it flying togetherwhile dating actually like
Andrew (23:33):
or are you in a couple?
Do you fly together? Well, what
Rich (23:36):
do you guys think? Let us
know, send us a DM on Instagram,
or you can always email us atpodcast, at two guys on a
plane.com, tell us your stories.
Tell us your aviation lovestories. Are you flying
together, flying separateworking for separate airlines?
How'd you meet? Tell us yourlove stories. We'd love to hear
the same part of the airplanetogether. Follow us wherever you
get your podcasts. Leave us areview if you like our show. We
(23:57):
can't wait to hear from you guysjoin
Andrew (24:01):
us next time for more
humor, heart and stories from
revived car.
Rich (24:06):
This episode was brought
to you by staff traveler, the
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