December 23, 2025 • 42 mins
In this episode, we decided to flip the script a bit. You hear us complain about passengers all the time—on the podcast, on the jumpseat, in the galley, everywhere. So today, we handed the mic to you: the passengers. We asked what flight attendants do that drives you nuts, and wow… you did not hold back. From safety announcements you swear are unintelligible, to overhead bin drama, to call bells, credit card pitches, bad perfume, and everything in between—you told us exactly how you feel, and we’re diving right into it.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Two Guys episode if we didn’t get sidetracked ranting about our own recent flights, telling wild stories from the aisle, and laughing at the absolutely unbelievable stuff people do at 35,000 feet. And yes—we even squeeze in a round of galley gossip that may or may not involve a cowboy hat, Stampede Week, and a full-on swan dive in an airport arrivals hall. Buckle up… this one gets chaotic.
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Episode Highlights:
[0:02] Opening the conversation: what you hate about flight attendants
[1:22] Drew’s chaotic week: strollers, messes, and aisle-walking mayhem
[4:37] Rich’s “is that the last bag of chips?” galley encounter
[6:00] The guy who straight-up ate Drew’s salad
[7:10] Your complaints begin: announcements no one can understand
[8:54] Half cups of water and why it might be your doing
[10:39] Credit card pitches—love them or hate them
[12:14] Babies in the aisle and why bumps happen
[13:43] Overhead bin accusations: are we lying?
[15:44] Call bells: why we don’t always see them right away
[18:30] Trash collection etiquette and “you missed me!”
[20:03] Peanut allergies and misunderstood “lectures”
[22:01] Handling rude passengers when airlines won’t back us
[23:44] Bag lifting: what we legally can’t do for you
[25:17] Yes, you are interrupting our break in the galley
[27:02] Sweat, perfume, and the reality of polyester at 35,000 feet
[29:41] The gin-and-tonic eyebrow raise—when alcohol becomes a concern
[31:21] Bulkhead bins and why crew bags sometimes go there
[33:27] No photos of the crew—please stop doing that
[34:27] Loud galley talk on night flights: we explain
[35:47] “You ski
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rich (00:02):
Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really
talking about behind the galleycurtain?
Andrew (00:06):
Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an
insider look at flight attendantlife.
Rich (00:11):
We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you
what really goes on at 35,000feet.
Andrew (00:16):
So sit back, relax.
We're ready for takeoff.
Rich (00:21):
So we always talk about what passengers do that annoys
us as flight attendants, always,always. I mean, I feel like
we're talking about this prettyregularly, especially on this
podcast, also on a jump seat.
Sure, we're always talking aboutwhat passengers annoy do that
annoys us. And today we're gonnaflip the script a little bit,
and we asked our audience, youfellow passengers out there,
what annoys you about flightattendants? What is it about
(00:44):
flight attendants that reallydrives you crazy? What has
happened to you on flights thatyou don't like? And we figured
it was only fair, since we'realways criticizing passengers
that we should maybe look in themirror for a moment and decide,
decide what, uh, what we couldbe doing better for passengers.
Some of the answers are good.
(01:06):
Some of the answers are not sogood. I don't like mirrors, but
no time for self reflection.
So today we're gonna dive intothat. But first, Andrew, what's
going on flying lately? Whatkind of anything you want to
rant about
Andrew (01:22):
it's been a rough few weeks of flying. Honestly, that
summer flying is never fun. Idon't know why I keep bidding so
much of it, but I just feel likethe amount of kids and
strollers, why do we need all ofthese? The strollers of the kids
both, okay? The answer is boththere. I just don't understand.
Forgive me, parents and friendsthat have children. I'm very
(01:45):
sorry for my following comments,but like I know it takes a lot
to travel with kids, but I don'tunderstand why it takes so much
to travel with kids, and then Iunderstand it, if you have one
child with you, that maybe thisis your first time doing this,
but like, you have three kidswith you, this is not your first
(02:07):
time on an airplane. This is notyour first rodeo. And yet you
still don't know where to putyour stroller or how to collect
your car seat. You still don'tknow that it takes a half hour
to get your car seat up to you.
So you like, keep coming back tome on the airplane to, like,
figure out where your stuff isgoing to be. It didn't change.
It's just not there yet. Like, Idon't, I don't know how to help
(02:29):
people who don't want to helpthemselves, and it's
frustrating.
Rich (02:32):
Yeah, I I'm a little more lenient with, like, first time
parents that are traveling,because it's overwhelming.
There's a lot that goes intoflying, but to some degree,
you've got to do some researchbefore you get on a plane with
an armful of kids and bags andstrollers. Like it's the lack of
awareness that really bothersme. It's not that I mind helping
(02:53):
first time parents, but it'slike you did no research. You
have no idea how this works.
Andrew (02:58):
You know what part really angers me, though, is the
mess that's left behind. Likeyou knew that you were standing
up to that mess you. Yeah,that's the part that really
makes me mad. And you thoughtsomeone else would clean this
up, right? No, you thought itwas okay for your child to,
like, crunch Cheetos into thefloor. I'm really angry at you
(03:18):
for this, for this. Sorry, we'renot you're again. I'm sorry
parents, but this is, it's beena lot of kids recently. This is
a lot of my day. And oh, why doyou have to walk them up and
down the galley? You have to,like, walk them up and down the
aisle all the time. They're notsleeping. They weren't crying.
This isn't
Rich (03:36):
about them. This isn't a gym like, this isn't a jungle
gym, yeah,
Andrew (03:41):
but they're not crying.
They're they weren't crying.
When you stood up, they weren'tcrying. I got in this fight with
this lady because it was soturbulence, and she, like,
wouldn't sit down. She like,pushed a flight attendant out of
the way, and then, like, yelledat her for telling her that the
seat belt sign was on. I finallywent to her husband, and I was
like, listen, I said, like, shejust assaulted a flight
(04:03):
attendant. I said, I understandthat she's stressed. I
understand that this is astressful situation that she's
in, but she laid her hands onanother human being. So you need
to go back there and you need totell your wife to stop or, like,
this is gonna escalate, and it'snot gonna end well for like, any
of you. Yeah. And he was like,I'm so sorry. And I was like,
(04:23):
it's fine, but she needs toapologize to that flight
attendant. Or, like, this turnsinto a thing now.
Rich (04:29):
Well, damn No wonder you're coming home from work so
angry lately, right?
Andrew (04:34):
It's a lot. It's been a lot. What about you?
Rich (04:37):
Well, my rant is, is random, because I was sitting in
the back galley eating lunch theother day, and I'm having a
sandwich and like a little bagof chips that I brought from
home, and this guy is standingthere waiting for the bathroom.
And you know when you're likesitting you're facing the back
of the airplane on your jumpseat and the bathroom? Here, and
(05:00):
like you can feel a person'spresence here, I just feel this
man standing here staring at me.
Andrew (05:05):
It's worse than feeling their presence is when they're
so close you can actually feelthem
Rich (05:10):
or smell them. Don't want to smell you. So I'm sitting
there, and he looks down, and hegoes, Wow. And I was like, Can I
help you? And he goes, is thatthe last bag of chips? And I
turned around, and I was like,I'm sorry, what? And he goes,
Did you see a bag of chips? Andhe goes, Well, I was gonna ask
(05:33):
you for some chips, but it lookslike you ate them all. And I was
like, first of all, I broughtthese from home. Second of all,
we don't even sell chips. Like,I don't know what you're going
on about, and it's just, it'sthe my rant is the passengers
that just get up in ourbusiness. Like, you can come to
the galley, you can, you know,chat if you want to, or ask if
you need something. But why areyou commenting on my lunch?
There's you have no businessbeing back here, looking at my
(05:56):
lunch, asking about my lunch,asking questions. Like, just
mind your business.
Andrew (06:00):
Honestly, I'm really glad that they just commented on
them. I was having lunch oneday, and I not to one up you on
this story, but I was havinglunch one day, somebody rang a
call bell. I walked out to so Iput my salad on the galley
counter to, like, go answer acall bell. I come back and I
find the person eating my salad.
You're like, half eaten, alreadystarted? Yes. I was like, What
are you doing? And he was like,Well, I just thought this was
(06:23):
leftover,
Rich (06:26):
leftover from what the buffet we didn't have on the
flight. Like, what is wrong withpeople? And people are always
like, Oh, this stuff didn'treally happen. Blah, blah, blah,
and I wish it didn't. I wishthese aren't true stories. I
wish they weren't true soregular occurrences, like every
day, you think, I can't possiblybe surprised by passing and you
wonder why we're short andsnappy with people. Yeah, every
(06:47):
day you wonder, I don't know ifI can be surprised by people
anymore. I think I've seen itall.
Andrew (06:52):
And every day they always have something do
something different.
Rich (06:56):
So Well, now that we've spent the first few minutes of
this episode bitching aboutpassengers, let's start bitching
about flight attendants. Shallwe? Yes, let's see what you guys
wrote in for us and said thatbothers you about what flight
attendants are doing.
Andrew (07:10):
I want to know if you do this or not. So that's my thing.
I would need to know if you dothese that like as we read them.
I'm gonna do them or not. I'lltell you all about it. Okay, so
the first one that I have is notmaking the safety or other
announcements in a voice andcadence that makes the words
understandable, not runningthrough the announcement so fast
that it's all one word, holdingthe speaker in a way that the
(07:31):
you're talking about PILOTs, notflight attendants. Yeah, that's
what I'm holding the speaker ina way that the mouth, that the
words aren't mumbled. I reallywant to do it right now, but I
feel like I'll get in troublefor eating this microphone. But
I swear they put the whole but Iswear they put the whole thing
in their mouth and they're like,Wow. I'm like, wow, it's then
you walk in the flight deck, andthey're like, you get to that?
(07:52):
And I was like, No,
Rich (07:56):
not a word. I have no idea who can understand your
announcements.
Buzz Burbank (08:01):
Oh, so,
Rich (08:04):
yeah, I don't, I don't feel like I mumble. I definitely
read fast, though. I definitelysay announcements quickly, like
I just want to get it over with,and half the people aren't
listening anyway. So if you'reworried about understanding the
announcement, I'm not reallyworried about it, because you're
not. Half of you aren'tlistening anyway, and the people
that are listening probably knowwhat I'm talking about.
Andrew (08:24):
I don't want to brag, but I get a lot of compliments
on this. I do believe that I'mpretty clear and concise. I
don't I don't really rush or Idon't do it slow, but I don't
like run through it either. Notto brag. I'm a pretty good
announcement maker. There'salways one in every cruise.
Like, I have great announcement.
No, I don't have greatannouncements, but I'm gonna
read the words I do it well, allright, yeah, I'm not that
(08:48):
person. Go for it, buddy. Ask mycoworker. I don't. I do make a
lot of announcements, but
Rich (08:54):
that doesn't surprise me at all. You make a lot of
announcements at home. Next upis pouring a half a glass of
water. This one is so random tome, but also honest how many
times we're doing the beverageservice and you ask for a cup of
water and you end up handing itback to us full. So it's like
half the time when we give youless than, you know, a full
(09:17):
glass of water. It's becausewe're tired of throwing away
water like we're wastingresources, and airlines were
already wasting so manyresources as it is, I hate to do
more of it than we need to.
Andrew (09:27):
Rich is being really diplomatic right now by telling
you that it's a it's a wasteproblem. I want to know what you
did to the flight attendants todeserve a half a half a cup of
water. Because if you're gettinga half a cup of water from me, I
don't like to
Rich (09:39):
me that's such a good point.
Andrew (09:42):
It's a you problem, and I'm just proving that we're not
on the same page here.
Rich (09:47):
Like if someone asked for extra ice and you don't like
them, so you just, you feel theone more overflowing. No, no, I
feel it's over. Yeah? And I juststand there, and I just keep
handing them cups and cups ofice. What the hell's. Going on.
I'm like, you said extra ice.
You didn't say when
Andrew (10:04):
you don't, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a you did
something to the flightattendant to get a half a cup of
water, because that's the flightattendant I am. Agreed you get
on the PA system to push to theairline's credit card. I'm
paying enough to fly thatflight, but should not have to
hear your commercial on top ofit. I mean, we agree. I agree. I
(10:24):
don't really love the creditcard announcements, but some of
them do have a good program, andif that's what you want, that's
how you get the miles, like youwant the first class seat, you
want the status, you you got tofind a way to earn the points,
and those credit cards give youa good way to do it.
Rich (10:39):
Yeah, I personally find those credit card pitches
aggravating as hell. I mean, Idon't even participate in the
program on my airline because itannoys the crap out of me so
much. But at the end of the day,a lot of flight attendants,
especially some of the juniorones, you know, regional ones,
it's like we get a kickback forthose credit card applications.
And you can't fault somebody forwanting a little extra income at
(11:00):
the end of the day, especiallywhen flight attendant flight
attendants are already underpaidas it is. So I don't fault
people for doing it, and I doagree that some of our co
workers go off book a little bitwith the script there and make
up their own littleannouncements. Some people like
decorate carts and roll throughI don't know if I do this at
your airline, but it's like, isreal embarrassing. So I'm with
(11:23):
you on that. I that sort ofstuff definitely drives me
crazy. Next up, usually I neverhave an issue and would never
complain. Anyone who starts asentence off with that pretty
much always has an issue and isalways complaining. I just, I'm
gonna say that right there, butevery time they come behind me
on my last flight, they bumpedmy sleeping baby's head, and I
(11:43):
know why? Didn't I just book awindow seat? Right? Well, I did.
Then my first flight was delayedthree hours, oh, canceling my
connecting flight, so they putme on the next flight to my
destination and only had anaisle seat open. Okay, we're
very cognizant of babies, andwe're very aware of that sort of
stuff when we're moving throughthe cabin. But if you're full on
hanging into the aisle, it's notjust us, like you've got 100 and
(12:06):
something, 200 people on thatplane wandering the aisle. We're
not going to be the only onesbumping your baby like you
really. Can't fault the flightattendants for that. If you're
Andrew (12:14):
hanging in the aisle with the baby, why didn't you
switch the baby to the otherarm? Right? Also, the aisle is
this big and the cart is thisbig. We don't have a lot of
option but to hit you if you'rein the aisle, like, right?
There's only so much space. CARTtakes up the whole entire aisle.
Rich (12:34):
Yeah, I would agree with that. It's like, Oh, my baby is
in the aisle here. Oh, why areyou hitting my baby? No shit.
Sherlock, next,
Andrew (12:51):
I think we covered that with just fine lying about
overhead bins being full andmaking people check bags. This
is literally not a flightattendant thing. We don't lie
about them, if we don't tell youto start leaving your bags until
we are absolutely certain thatthere are no bags left. That is
not a system of a flightattendant. I mean, the gate
(13:12):
agents get prompts. They're toldthat airplane only holds so many
bags. I'm gonna finish readingthis before I start ranting. I'm
already angry about it. I'm sosorry lying about overhead bins
being full and making peoplecheck bags. I've seen it several
times. Even overheard themgiggling and telling the
remaining passengers that theycan't bring bags on. We are not
doing that. I'm so strugglingover this. That's not even a
(13:32):
system of our job. We don'tcheck the bags like we the gate
agents do that. They get analert on their screen that says
too many people have broughtbags on and they start doing it.
Rich (13:43):
And even if we are doing it like the old fashioned way,
like we're communicating withthe agents and telling them,
okay, no more bags, like we'redoing it when it's full, or when
we know there's so many bags inthe aisle and the last few spots
are about to be gone. It's not aperfect science, like we
understand that there are goingto be times where you're gonna
see extra space. Whoops, sorry,
Andrew (14:03):
you know, but like, somebody got up and pulled a
backpack that shouldn't havebeen up there down, and now we
have a hole like, I cannotimagine anyone like, because for
us, that's really stressful,because we end up having bags
start piling up in places, bagsdon't belong, and then we've got
people, and there's just notenough space on the plane to
have more bags than overhead binspace. So, like, if we cut it,
(14:26):
we usually have about five orsix bags in the galley that we
don't know what to do withalready. We're not just out here
being like, he know it'll befun.
Rich (14:35):
And we swear people think that we as flight attendants are
just like, out to piss offpassengers. And I promise you,
that's like the last thing wewant to do if you're in a bad
mood, where you think we want todeal with that, right? Yeah, and
that delays a flight so fasttoo. Like with we don't want
bags piling up places, no.
Andrew (14:53):
Also put your small bags under the seat instead of the
bin, and then you'll help us getmore of these bags on so the.
Guy isn't mad that we'rechecking bags.
Rich (15:01):
Yeah, people refuse to do that sort of thing and help each
other, and then they're all madat us. And it's like, be mad at
your friends. Be mad at the guynext to you who insisted on
having leg room for a 45 minute
Andrew (15:12):
flight when he can't fit his legs under that seat.
Anyways, if the airplane is notshaped for you to like
Rich (15:18):
the way you have to contort your body to stretch.
No, it's a good point. It's noteven worth it, isn't it funny
how we have an episodecomplaining about and we just
found a way to keep bitchingabout passengers interesting
Next up, ignore when they'recalled upon. Even if the calling
button is lit for a long time,they sometimes look the other
(15:39):
way, on purpose guilty.
Andrew (15:44):
I'm not saying I'm not guilty. I really try to answer
them. I think, though, thatrealistically, what people
should understand is that ifwe're standing in the aisle,
they're really hard to see.
Like, I call it the cone ofsilence. It's also a cone of
blindness. If we if our head isup between those bins, those
lights are really hard to see.
(16:04):
And then also, it is inevitablethat if one is pushed, like six
are pushed, and like, thesystems on the airplane only
tell us the first one that waspushed. So we might be like
working them. You might have towait because we're working
because every time we turn oneoff the next one, it tells us
where the next one is, but itwon't tell us where the next one
(16:26):
is until we clear the very firstone that was pushed so
Rich (16:29):
that's a really good point, because, you know, say,
12 goes off, and then all of asudden, you're about to go
answer the call bell in 1224,now goes off. You're gonna skip
past 24 and go to 12, because A,that's the one that you saw on
the little screen that we have,and B, that's the one that went
first. So like, maybe
Andrew (16:47):
now watch me wake three trips to the galley, because I
had to go out to get 12. I hadto go get their order. I had to
go back to them. I had to goback to the galley to figure out
where the next light was.
Because I'm being honest youguys, it is like being up there
between those bins, you knownothing I can't hear or see
anything. That's so true. So Iwe feel your pain on that we
really do. Because I don't likemaking 86 trips to a galley.
(17:10):
What's that? Comedian, Pan Amtouched a trolley the galley
look busy. It's not what'shappening. But it is funny. This
one says, not, let me on
Rich (17:27):
the not, let me on. I kept this one in there because she
said, not, let me on. The helldid you do? Right? What the hell
did you What are you not tellingus?
Andrew (17:37):
Please follow up, because there's a story here. We
we don't just be like, No,
Rich (17:42):
I'm gonna go ahead and call this person out too. It's
shout out to my Rex. Oh, it's adog. Oh, I wonder what happened
there. Service, animal cabin,pet issue.
Andrew (17:54):
I mean, some airlines don't allow pets. So like, I
wonder
Rich (17:58):
what happened there.
Follow up with us. We want toknow more about what happened to
you, and I'm gonna, I want totell you how to tell you how to
get on the plane. Rex, right?
Because, if it's a dog, nowwe're feeling sympathetic or
sad, but if it was just you asthe human, what did you do
wrong? Is really the question,right? The next one, only thing
is a slight inconvenience, iswhen they do trash back to front
(18:20):
and I don't see them coming, andI have to keep my plastic cup in
the seat back until the cabingets prepared for landing. It's
a rough life, but I survive.
Truthfully, we agree.
Andrew (18:30):
Well, I agree with you on this. We were talking about
it the other day. I like, turnif I'm going to do it back to
front. I like, turn and face thepassengers so I can see if they
hold something up to go back tothem. I don't ever walk through
the cabin like, yeah, facing thefront of the plane. Like, I'll
turn around and face the back ofthe plane so that I can walk
with my back towards the flightdeck as I walk up to the front
(18:51):
of the
Rich (18:51):
plane, right? Because that avoids this whole issue all
together. Then you don't havepeople being like, Oh, you miss
me, correct? That's when peoplestart grabbing you too. They
start pulling. Up. Don't touchus. Don't touch stop touching
us. But that's when people startpoking my trash. Don't poke me
with trash, correct?
Andrew (19:07):
Don't touch me at all.
Don't do it.
Rich (19:10):
Yeah, I usually just, I mean, I'll go to the front and
start there, like, I'll bringthe trash bag up and start and
work my way back, because I haveto go to the back anyway.
Andrew (19:18):
So see, I generally work the front of the airplane. So if
I'm in the back of the airplanestarting, I'm making my way to
the front anyway. So that's whyI turn around and face yeah,
like I'm not going to the back
Rich (19:30):
either way. I think the rule applies that you're pretty
much just doing trash in thedirection of where you need to
go.
Andrew (19:37):
Yes, but I do try to make sure that people can see
me. So I hear your complaint,and I agree with you, I always
get in trouble for having apeanut allergy. They try to make
me eat stuff on the plane, eventhough I physically can't, most
often, and then get upset that Ididn't request a special meal.
Most airlines have dietaryrequests except a peanut
allergy, specifically so Iliterally can't, and I always
(19:59):
get. Lectured about it. Thefirst question hurts my
feelings.
Rich (20:03):
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sad for this person, but who's
forcing you to eat airplanefood? I've never once been like
you must eat this meal like, Idon't understand that part of
it.
Andrew (20:15):
Oh, I would be, I would be that. No soup for you, guy,
(21:20):
no soup for you. What? If youdon't eat this meal, you don't
get anything else. No soup foryou?
Rich (21:26):
Well, yeah, but I'm not forcing them to eat it. Oh,
yeah, that's what they're sayinghere, right? So that's odd to
me.
Andrew (21:32):
Are they spoon feeding you? I don't get it. I don't
know. I'm also very confusedabout this, but I'm also really
sad that you feel this way, thatyou feel like you're being
lectured and forced to eatthings because you shouldn't be.
I mean, your allergy should berespected. I think, from me to
you, if we're talking aboutthis, I don't want to lecture
(21:54):
you, but we really don't haveoptions, right? Don't pre order.
It's not like a restaurant whereI can go scrape the peanuts off
of it for you. So maybe it'scoming across as a lecture when
they're really just trying to,like, explain what's happening.
But if you don't special order,we don't have options for you.
We can't, like, run back andmake you we don't have a chef on
board to make you a new a newmeal.
Rich (22:16):
I also don't know that they're necessarily lecturing
you as maybe just trying to giveyou information about what the
options are and what the optionsmight be in the future. Most of
the times, in these situations,I've seen flight attendants give
information and try to behelpful, not so much lecturing
somebody. So it's it's sad thatyou felt that way, but we
definitely understand that. Andunfortunately, peanut allergies,
(22:38):
not allergies on airplanes, arehard. There's not a lot that we
can do, you know, to stop otherpassengers and things like that.
So that can be a difficult onefor sure. Next one, they
tolerate bad passengers becausetheir employers don't back them
up enough to cuss them out andzip tie them to the seat. I
liked this one because I don'ttake crap from people I'm not
(23:00):
dealing with
Andrew (23:02):
it same. Ask any of my flying partners, they'll know
I'm usually the one they cometo, yeah, to handle.
Rich (23:10):
They know you're gonna put your foot down and maybe be kind
of an ass about it.
Andrew (23:15):
No, I always do it professionally and smartly, but
I don't leave room fornegotiation. I'll tell you
Rich (23:22):
that. Well, Said,
Andrew (23:26):
it's my airplane, this house gonna go today. I feel
like you're the same, though youmay not get called upon, but I
also feel like your attitudewhen things start going wrong is
it's my airplane. That's the wayit has. It's gonna go,
Rich (23:39):
yeah, yeah. I mean, definitely, I there's rules for
a reason. You don't follow them,you don't fly like it really is
that simple. This is not a placewhere people can start doing
whatever they want. Airplanesare not the place for people to
have their own opinions aboutsafety regulations and things
like that. Like, you just don'tget to decide that, because this
is in place for everybody onboard to be
Andrew (23:59):
safe, period, correct? I think this one's similar. PUT UP
WITH obnoxious, oblivious ordownright rude behavior of many
passengers, they should beallowed an eject button. Please
put this in your next commentsto the airline when they send
you a survey, please tell themthe eject button idea.
Rich (24:17):
That's why I left this one in there. I really like their
idea for an eject button. Yeah,and I think we should be allowed
to use it, because we do put upwith too much. I mean, science
is getting pretty good.
Technology is getting prettygood. We've got to get there.
We've got to get to an injectbutton level. When they watch me
struggle putting my bag in theoverhead and don't offer to help
me, I have short arms, and I'venever been sure if it's part of
(24:40):
their job or not, if it's not,no complaints, but I warmly
thank the ones that
Andrew (24:45):
do help me. I would lead with it's not part of our jobs
because so many airlinesliterally forbid us from helping
you lift your bags. Our systemsto assist you with bags are
normally to check them. So ifyou know that you can't get the
bag into the overhead binyourself, or you're not
(25:06):
traveling with someone who can,the gate agents are usually
making about a millionannouncements about how our bins
are going to be full and tocheck your bag. And so I would
opt for that option beforegetting mad at somebody for not
being able to help you?
Rich (25:23):
Yeah, I would first rely on other passengers, because
your crew, nine times out of 10,will not be able to help you,
especially if you have a heavybag. Chances are if you can't
lift it, we can't either, and ifwe do, we're not covered by our
insurance. A lot of times, youknow, so we get injured, moving
your bag, lifting your bag,then, you know there's not also,
Andrew (25:43):
if I do get injured, you're then mad because your
flight is delayed or canceled,right? Yeah.
Rich (25:49):
So definitely ask, ask round, ask other passengers.
Don't be mad at your crew.
There's not a lot we can do. Imean, obviously, if you're short
and you do the lifting and youcan't get it all the way in,
like we're there to help assistyou. You know, get get it all
the way into the bin, rearrangeit however needs to be done, but
the lifting part is on
Andrew (26:06):
you, yeah, playing a game on their phones. When you
go to the galley looking for adrink, they act like you're
interrupting their break. Youare, you are,
Rich (26:18):
I know, I think passengers fail to realize that, like,
sometimes we'll work, you know,1214, 15 hour days. We don't get
a break, like we don't havescheduled lunch breaks. It's not
like we clock out for 30 minutesor whatever. So like that
downtime between service andcall bells and, you know, cabin
checks and things like that,that is the time that we have to
(26:40):
eat and to do whatever, youknow. So we kind of juggle that
sort of stuff with our regularjob responsibilities. So I'm
sorry that you felt like youwere interrupting, but sometimes
it's our only, our only chanceto have a minute. You know.
Andrew (26:54):
Also, I don't want to start a fight with my husband,
but that's literally what yourcall bell is for. It gives us a
chance to, like, put our lunchor phone down, or put a bookmark
in our book so that we can cometo you and find out how to
assist you, so that you don'tfeel like you're interrupting us
because you are.
Rich (27:12):
And I will say in this instance, like the call bell
does make a lot more sense forthat sort of thing in terms of
like customer service, like, wecall you, call upon us. We go to
you. We're ready for whatevercustomer service need is about
to happen. You catch us in thegalley while we're like, eating
our lunch. You came into ourspace, you know, like that.
Usually have lettuce hanging outof my mouth. If you wander into
(27:34):
the galley and I'm stuffing myface with food or something.
Then you, you had that comingbecause you, you did that when
they don't use deodorant andreach across you. This should be
a rule for everybody,passengers. It is a rule for
Well, I know it is for us, likewe do have very strict codes of
conduct, and we are required tohave good hygiene, to smell
(27:57):
good, to have good breath, brushour teeth, like all that stuff
is written down for us as flightattendants, and I don't think
people realize that,
Andrew (28:03):
but I am going to tell you some days you can do the
best you can. And you have beenon an airplane without an APU
for six and a half hours, andyou have been sweat ting in
polyester, which does notbreathe and does not absorb
water, and you have been sweatTing, yeah, baby girl, you gonna
get a stinky armpit? I don'tcare. Yeah, I ain't even trying.
(28:24):
I'm literally standing heretrying not to pass out. I don't
care if I smell or not. I do notwell.
Rich (28:29):
And half the time, like when you're working somewhere in
the summer, you know, betweenflights, like they power the
engine zone, they turn the APUoff, the plane gets hot fast. It
is a metal tube sitting in thesun.
Andrew (28:41):
It's 80 degrees outside, and you've got 200 people on the
plane. That's a lot of body heatthat's being generated. So and
so I apologize for my sweaty armpit, but I don't care. And I
reapply. And I did it oncebefore I left, bumping into me
multiple times. If I'm in anaisle seat, this is kind of the
same thing with the baby. Moveif you got bumped once, you
(29:02):
should know you're in the way.
Scoot in a little bit. Move wesaid, Excuse me, I don't move
the cart through the airplanewithout being like, we're coming
through. We're coming through.
We're coming through. Like, howyou say it? Just like that,
yeah.
Rich (29:18):
Yeah. I mean, actually, I
Andrew (29:19):
usually say carts out, move your body parts.
Rich (29:23):
Interesting, they say, you know, like these people are
wearing their noise cancelingheadphones, and it's like you're
not listening anyway. We tried,we tried to warn you the aisle
is like our office.
Andrew (29:36):
Also you knew the cart was coming through, because you
get mad at us when it doesn'tcome
Rich (29:41):
through right give male passengers their full attention
and respect, and treat womenpassengers in the same class
like their cattle. I left thiscomment in because I think it's
funny, because I think it's thereverse, exactly, and I treat
these grown men who act likebabies, like the cattle that
(30:03):
they are. So I'm sorry that youfelt disrespected. I'm assuming
this person is a woman, butyeah, no, I offer
Andrew (30:12):
Have you had male flight because Correct? I'm like, is
this a female flight attendantthing? Oh, maybe, maybe it's a
female, because as a male, Itotally ignore the other dudes
on the airplane same well, notignore what, you know what I
mean, yeah, yes. Not ignore whenthey give you a hairy eyeball
when you ask for two more ginand tonics. My first question
(30:35):
is, how many gin and tonics Areyou in when you ask? Because
that's the only way you'regetting
Rich (30:42):
an eyeball. For me, the fact that you're asking for two
more. Are you with somebody? Areyou asking for this for
yourself? Like, are you gettingsloppy, my friend, is that
what's happening here? Becausealcohol, technically, according
to the Federal AviationRegulations, you're not allowed
to be drunk on a plane. Like,right? Period. It, and obviously
it does happen to people, or wewouldn't have so many YouTube
(31:05):
and Tiktok moments as we do. Myquestion is, how are you acting,
young lady,
Andrew (31:10):
yeah, cause I really feel like we don't. I mean, we
do monitor them, but like, aslong as you're not acting any
sort of way, you don't geteyeballs from me.
Rich (31:21):
I had a flight attendant wear enough perfume to give me a
headache on a seven hour flight.
I didn't say anything, but isn'tthat like part of training?
Andrew (31:28):
No, you can't complain that we smell too good and then
complain that we smell too bad.
So you got to pick one, pick alane, because I'm either wearing
perfume or you're going to get astinky armpit. Like it's not you
can't have both ways. I think
Rich (31:40):
the rule is, like, we're just not allowed to smell
strongly of anything, likenegative or positive. But I do
feel like you kind of have topick your poison there. Do you
want to smell your armpit? Or doyou want some perfume?
Andrew (31:50):
Well, I don't know. I've been wearing the same scent for
like, 15 years, so I'm prettynose blind to it. Yeah. Rich
always yells at me every time wego outside. My husband's like,
doing a cloud of Cologne, twosprays, husband, two sprays, and
I'm like, but I love it and Ican't smell it yet.
Rich (32:06):
I mean, while I'm having
Andrew (32:11):
Yes, but pick a line, because we either smell good or
we don't putting their bags overthe bulkhead siege, which leaves
no space for people sitting inthe bowl kids.
Rich (32:22):
This one annoys me, because it really depends on
where on the aircraft. This ishappening. Like, a lot of times
we don't have set or we do haveset locations for our bags, and
sometimes that isn't an overheadbin that might be in one of
these, like, premium rows orwhatever. Like, it really just
depends on the airplane, andwe're required to have our bags
(32:43):
with us because they containemergency equipment that we have
to have within such and suchfeet of our jump seats. So it's
really hard to sympathize withsomeone here because we're
required to have our bags incertain places on the plane.
Andrew (32:56):
And also, I don't know a lot of flight attendants who
don't like accommodate bags likethat the best they can, right? I
your roller board, depending onwhen you got on the airplane,
may have to go a few rows back,but like the extra bags that,
like most people don't have toput up, versus backpacks,
computer bags. We try, I try,and I know Rich tries really
(33:19):
hard. And I've seen a lot offlight attendants try really
hard to make sure they'll staywithin that space, like right
above you, like we're not takingthem to give them away. But I
think the important part is toremember is that our bags do
contain things that we needthroughout the day, that we're
literally required to havewithin a certain amount of feet
of us. So it's not like we'reputting our roller bags up
(33:41):
there, because we don't know.
But if you knew how many timesmy roller bag has been taken off
by a passenger who doesn't knowwhat their bag looks like, you
would not want your bag out ofeyeshot either. Yeah, honestly,
like, it's so true. How do younot know what your bag looks
like? Not me bitching aboutpassengers again, like, how do
you not know what your bag lookslike that. You decided mine. The
one back, black with back, blackbag with the giant crew tag on
(34:06):
it, right, was yours.
Rich (34:11):
Yeah, and people, I've heard stories of people like,
that bag is gone. That bag isnow on Columbus, Ohio, and like,
has to find its way back to theflight attendant. So, yeah, you
can't fault us for not wantingto have our bags
Andrew (34:23):
far away. Stop stealing my bags, and I'll keep room in
the bulkhead for you.
Rich (34:28):
Next one. When they told me no photos, I was just trying
to capture the moment. Oh, myGod, do I go into your workplace
and take photos of you whileyou're working? No, it's weird.
Stop taking pictures of crewmembers. That drives me crazy.
You can ask. I mean, sometimes,you know, I've posed with
certain passengers or whatever,that, like, want a picture to
(34:49):
remember their flight orwhatever. But like, don't just
go taking pictures or video ofpeople that you don't know.
That's just weird.
Andrew (34:55):
Also, what are you taking pictures of? Because
everyone says that they'll neverforget, but the moment I tell
you, you can't take a picture ofthe flight deck, everyone seems
to have forgotten. And I'm like,what? Yeah, there we have rules
for a reason. There are safetythings. You can't just take
pictures of everything,absolutely, for a reason that we
(35:16):
all promised never to forget.
People forgot credit cardannouncements mid flight and
talking loudly to their coworkers in the galley on a night
flight,
Rich (35:27):
it was the talking loudly in a galley that I wanted to
keep in there, not the creditcard part so much, because I, I
get this. I mean, flightattendants really think that
they're in some sort of, likesound proof, soundproof, like
podcast recording studio orsomething, even back there in
the galley when they weretalking about people and each
other. And the truth is, likethe last six rows, can hear you
Andrew (35:50):
also, I understand that you came prepped to take a nap.
I am legally required to stayawake. And you disagree with
this. I don't disagree with you.
I. Think there is a respectfullevel of tone that we can
achieve together. But I thinkbefore you come into a galley
and shush somebody, you shouldremember that I am just trying
(36:11):
to stay awake because I willlose my job if my eyes even
begin to like droop and pretendlike I'm sleeping.
Rich (36:20):
That's funny, waking me up for food in spite of being told
I didn't want to when I boarded.
Um, I have never woken anybodyup for anything except maybe,
like, on landing, to sit you upand get your seat belt back,
yeah, to, like, get you incompliance with the regular but
I promise I'm not trying to domore work than I need to. So me
waking you up means I have, thenhave to do things. Why do I
(36:41):
don't poke the bear? Like, whywould I want to angry? Why am I
gonna go out of my way and wakea sleepy person? The same goes
for the flip side to like,anytime someone's like, well,
you skipped me. You were soundasleep, and I'm not waking
somebody. If someone is asleepon a plane, chances are they're
asleep on a plane because theywant sleep. They need sleep.
Andrew (37:03):
Yeah, when I wake you, also I didn't skip you. I move
through the airplanesystematically, row by row.
Start with the window, make myway to the aisle, aisle window
like there is a giant system forthis that, like every flight
attendant does, we didn't skipyou. We didn't forget about you.
(37:24):
We've been staring at you forthree hours now. There's no way
that we forgot you. Yeah, justsay I didn't know what I wanted,
or I wasn't ready when you camethrough. I was probably sleeping
when I didn't see you comethrough. All of those are
acceptable. I didn't skip you,but didn't do it. It's
physically impossible for me tohave skipped you.
Rich (37:45):
Yeah, I would agree with that. So
Andrew (37:48):
that's it. That's what you guys hate about us.
Rich (37:51):
And it turns out, we found some more things, because that's
just the kind of flightattendants. We are the best.
We're really the best one.
Should we have a story before wego? Oh, please tell me you have
a good one. We do galley gossipnow, where we share a story from
our listeners, and you guys cansubmit those stories to us at
two guys on a plane, comm slashpodcast, and tell us all the
(38:12):
crazy, wild, wonderful thingsthat have happened. They can be
good stories. They can be badstories. Feel free to remain
anonymous if you'd like to orput a fake name, we don't mind,
but we do want real stories. Sothe next story that we have for
today is from Amanda. She was inNew Brunswick in Canada, and she
said I was just coming off aflight during Calgary Stampede
(38:35):
Week. Oh, this is about her alldecked out in my uniform dress,
with the addition of a cowboyhat, boots and bandana along
with all of my luggage. Thevisual is, you
Andrew (38:48):
feel like you immediately need to look up what
Stampede Week is. No, I do.
Rich (38:53):
I got down to the bottom of the escalator at the arrivals
hall, walked about 10 feet andthen lost my balance, caught
myself, then did a swan dive,face planted into the floor flat
out on my stomach like apancake. I braced myself for a
second. Quietly asked my coworker if anyone was looking
everyone at arrivals who hasjust got off our flight, we're
definitely looking I said, Okay,on the silent count of three,
(39:14):
I'm gonna get up and we'reflying out of here gracefully.
Got up as gracefully as I could,and we rushed out like we were
part of the stampede. Oh, myGod. Most embarrassing moment. I
fully expected it to be onTiktok or something, but never
happened. I wish someone had aplayback for me, because it's so
funny now that I think about it,after the fact, I'm so sorry
that you fell I think moral ofthe story is maybe you shouldn't
(39:38):
have worn a cowboy hat with yourflight attendant uniform. You'll
have to send us a picture ofthat outfit. Yeah, we need to
see it, Amanda. We want to wewant to see what the outfit
looks
Andrew (39:51):
actually, I need us to reach out to Amanda so we can,
like, put it up between us, sothat everyone can see what
Amanda was edited into theepisode. Yes, we need to see
what Amanda's wearing. But Ireally hate this, because I feel
like we've, everyone has taken aspill at some point in their
career. Yeah, those bags getcaught up into something. Yeah,
(40:13):
your role at always. It's alwaysthe carpet at airports and
whoever decided the carpet wasgood for, like, rolling bags. I
really want a special person isI just want to smack shit out of
them. Have you been toCincinnati? I swear someone's
like, someone's brother in lawowns a carpet store, and that's
the only reason that there's somuch carpet in this airport. But
(40:36):
I just maybe really want topunch them. It sounds like
something since I would do, but,yeah, your roller bag just gets
caught on nothing, and the nextthing you know, you're like, ass
up for no reason, just staringat the ceiling, hoping, hoping
that no one saw it. So I'm sorryfor your spill, but that's
funny.
Rich (40:54):
Well, that's all we have for today, but make sure to
check out more exclusive contentfrom us behind the scenes.
Stuff, bloopers and all thatsort of fun stuff. In our
Patreon community, you can joinat patreon.com/two guys on a
plane, and everything that weearn there goes back into
helping make our podcast happen.
So we can't thank you guysenough for your support as a
(41:14):
thank you, you'll get all sortsof extra content, merch and fun
ways to connect with us and ourcommunity, so go check that out,
and we'll see you next time.
Andrew (41:25):
Join us for more humor, heart and stories from our
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Rich (41:29):
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Ever wondered what your flight attendants are really
talking about behind the galleycurtain?
Andrew (00:06):
Welcome to Two guys on a plane. Your go to podcast for an
insider look at flight attendantlife.
Rich (00:11):
We're your hosts, rich and Drew, and we're here to tell you
what really goes on at 35,000feet.
Andrew (00:16):
So sit back, relax.
We're ready for takeoff.
Rich (00:21):
So we always talk about what passengers do that annoys
us as flight attendants, always,always. I mean, I feel like
we're talking about this prettyregularly, especially on this
podcast, also on a jump seat.
Sure, we're always talking aboutwhat passengers annoy do that
annoys us. And today we're gonnaflip the script a little bit,
and we asked our audience, youfellow passengers out there,
what annoys you about flightattendants? What is it about
(00:44):
flight attendants that reallydrives you crazy? What has
happened to you on flights thatyou don't like? And we figured
it was only fair, since we'realways criticizing passengers
that we should maybe look in themirror for a moment and decide,
decide what, uh, what we couldbe doing better for passengers.
Some of the answers are good.
(01:06):
Some of the answers are not sogood. I don't like mirrors, but
no time for self reflection.
So today we're gonna dive intothat. But first, Andrew, what's
going on flying lately? Whatkind of anything you want to
rant about
Andrew (01:22):
it's been a rough few weeks of flying. Honestly, that
summer flying is never fun. Idon't know why I keep bidding so
much of it, but I just feel likethe amount of kids and
strollers, why do we need all ofthese? The strollers of the kids
both, okay? The answer is boththere. I just don't understand.
Forgive me, parents and friendsthat have children. I'm very
(01:45):
sorry for my following comments,but like I know it takes a lot
to travel with kids, but I don'tunderstand why it takes so much
to travel with kids, and then Iunderstand it, if you have one
child with you, that maybe thisis your first time doing this,
but like, you have three kidswith you, this is not your first
(02:07):
time on an airplane. This is notyour first rodeo. And yet you
still don't know where to putyour stroller or how to collect
your car seat. You still don'tknow that it takes a half hour
to get your car seat up to you.
So you like, keep coming back tome on the airplane to, like,
figure out where your stuff isgoing to be. It didn't change.
It's just not there yet. Like, Idon't, I don't know how to help
(02:29):
people who don't want to helpthemselves, and it's
frustrating.
Rich (02:32):
Yeah, I I'm a little more lenient with, like, first time
parents that are traveling,because it's overwhelming.
There's a lot that goes intoflying, but to some degree,
you've got to do some researchbefore you get on a plane with
an armful of kids and bags andstrollers. Like it's the lack of
awareness that really bothersme. It's not that I mind helping
(02:53):
first time parents, but it'slike you did no research. You
have no idea how this works.
Andrew (02:58):
You know what part really angers me, though, is the
mess that's left behind. Likeyou knew that you were standing
up to that mess you. Yeah,that's the part that really
makes me mad. And you thoughtsomeone else would clean this
up, right? No, you thought itwas okay for your child to,
like, crunch Cheetos into thefloor. I'm really angry at you
(03:18):
for this, for this. Sorry, we'renot you're again. I'm sorry
parents, but this is, it's beena lot of kids recently. This is
a lot of my day. And oh, why doyou have to walk them up and
down the galley? You have to,like, walk them up and down the
aisle all the time. They're notsleeping. They weren't crying.
This isn't
Rich (03:36):
about them. This isn't a gym like, this isn't a jungle
gym, yeah,
Andrew (03:41):
but they're not crying.
They're they weren't crying.
When you stood up, they weren'tcrying. I got in this fight with
this lady because it was soturbulence, and she, like,
wouldn't sit down. She like,pushed a flight attendant out of
the way, and then, like, yelledat her for telling her that the
seat belt sign was on. I finallywent to her husband, and I was
like, listen, I said, like, shejust assaulted a flight
(04:03):
attendant. I said, I understandthat she's stressed. I
understand that this is astressful situation that she's
in, but she laid her hands onanother human being. So you need
to go back there and you need totell your wife to stop or, like,
this is gonna escalate, and it'snot gonna end well for like, any
of you. Yeah. And he was like,I'm so sorry. And I was like,
(04:23):
it's fine, but she needs toapologize to that flight
attendant. Or, like, this turnsinto a thing now.
Rich (04:29):
Well, damn No wonder you're coming home from work so
angry lately, right?
Andrew (04:34):
It's a lot. It's been a lot. What about you?
Rich (04:37):
Well, my rant is, is random, because I was sitting in
the back galley eating lunch theother day, and I'm having a
sandwich and like a little bagof chips that I brought from
home, and this guy is standingthere waiting for the bathroom.
And you know when you're likesitting you're facing the back
of the airplane on your jumpseat and the bathroom? Here, and
(05:00):
like you can feel a person'spresence here, I just feel this
man standing here staring at me.
Andrew (05:05):
It's worse than feeling their presence is when they're
so close you can actually feelthem
Rich (05:10):
or smell them. Don't want to smell you. So I'm sitting
there, and he looks down, and hegoes, Wow. And I was like, Can I
help you? And he goes, is thatthe last bag of chips? And I
turned around, and I was like,I'm sorry, what? And he goes,
Did you see a bag of chips? Andhe goes, Well, I was gonna ask
(05:33):
you for some chips, but it lookslike you ate them all. And I was
like, first of all, I broughtthese from home. Second of all,
we don't even sell chips. Like,I don't know what you're going
on about, and it's just, it'sthe my rant is the passengers
that just get up in ourbusiness. Like, you can come to
the galley, you can, you know,chat if you want to, or ask if
you need something. But why areyou commenting on my lunch?
There's you have no businessbeing back here, looking at my
(05:56):
lunch, asking about my lunch,asking questions. Like, just
mind your business.
Andrew (06:00):
Honestly, I'm really glad that they just commented on
them. I was having lunch oneday, and I not to one up you on
this story, but I was havinglunch one day, somebody rang a
call bell. I walked out to so Iput my salad on the galley
counter to, like, go answer acall bell. I come back and I
find the person eating my salad.
You're like, half eaten, alreadystarted? Yes. I was like, What
are you doing? And he was like,Well, I just thought this was
(06:23):
leftover,
Rich (06:26):
leftover from what the buffet we didn't have on the
flight. Like, what is wrong withpeople? And people are always
like, Oh, this stuff didn'treally happen. Blah, blah, blah,
and I wish it didn't. I wishthese aren't true stories. I
wish they weren't true soregular occurrences, like every
day, you think, I can't possiblybe surprised by passing and you
wonder why we're short andsnappy with people. Yeah, every
(06:47):
day you wonder, I don't know ifI can be surprised by people
anymore. I think I've seen itall.
Andrew (06:52):
And every day they always have something do
something different.
Rich (06:56):
So Well, now that we've spent the first few minutes of
this episode bitching aboutpassengers, let's start bitching
about flight attendants. Shallwe? Yes, let's see what you guys
wrote in for us and said thatbothers you about what flight
attendants are doing.
Andrew (07:10):
I want to know if you do this or not. So that's my thing.
I would need to know if you dothese that like as we read them.
I'm gonna do them or not. I'lltell you all about it. Okay, so
the first one that I have is notmaking the safety or other
announcements in a voice andcadence that makes the words
understandable, not runningthrough the announcement so fast
that it's all one word, holdingthe speaker in a way that the
(07:31):
you're talking about PILOTs, notflight attendants. Yeah, that's
what I'm holding the speaker ina way that the mouth, that the
words aren't mumbled. I reallywant to do it right now, but I
feel like I'll get in troublefor eating this microphone. But
I swear they put the whole but Iswear they put the whole thing
in their mouth and they're like,Wow. I'm like, wow, it's then
you walk in the flight deck, andthey're like, you get to that?
(07:52):
And I was like, No,
Rich (07:56):
not a word. I have no idea who can understand your
announcements.
Buzz Burbank (08:01):
Oh, so,
Rich (08:04):
yeah, I don't, I don't feel like I mumble. I definitely
read fast, though. I definitelysay announcements quickly, like
I just want to get it over with,and half the people aren't
listening anyway. So if you'reworried about understanding the
announcement, I'm not reallyworried about it, because you're
not. Half of you aren'tlistening anyway, and the people
that are listening probably knowwhat I'm talking about.
Andrew (08:24):
I don't want to brag, but I get a lot of compliments
on this. I do believe that I'mpretty clear and concise. I
don't I don't really rush or Idon't do it slow, but I don't
like run through it either. Notto brag. I'm a pretty good
announcement maker. There'salways one in every cruise.
Like, I have great announcement.
No, I don't have greatannouncements, but I'm gonna
read the words I do it well, allright, yeah, I'm not that
(08:48):
person. Go for it, buddy. Ask mycoworker. I don't. I do make a
lot of announcements, but
Rich (08:54):
that doesn't surprise me at all. You make a lot of
announcements at home. Next upis pouring a half a glass of
water. This one is so random tome, but also honest how many
times we're doing the beverageservice and you ask for a cup of
water and you end up handing itback to us full. So it's like
half the time when we give youless than, you know, a full
(09:17):
glass of water. It's becausewe're tired of throwing away
water like we're wastingresources, and airlines were
already wasting so manyresources as it is, I hate to do
more of it than we need to.
Andrew (09:27):
Rich is being really diplomatic right now by telling
you that it's a it's a wasteproblem. I want to know what you
did to the flight attendants todeserve a half a half a cup of
water. Because if you're gettinga half a cup of water from me, I
don't like to
Rich (09:39):
me that's such a good point.
Andrew (09:42):
It's a you problem, and I'm just proving that we're not
on the same page here.
Rich (09:47):
Like if someone asked for extra ice and you don't like
them, so you just, you feel theone more overflowing. No, no, I
feel it's over. Yeah? And I juststand there, and I just keep
handing them cups and cups ofice. What the hell's. Going on.
I'm like, you said extra ice.
You didn't say when
Andrew (10:04):
you don't, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's a you did
something to the flightattendant to get a half a cup of
water, because that's the flightattendant I am. Agreed you get
on the PA system to push to theairline's credit card. I'm
paying enough to fly thatflight, but should not have to
hear your commercial on top ofit. I mean, we agree. I agree. I
(10:24):
don't really love the creditcard announcements, but some of
them do have a good program, andif that's what you want, that's
how you get the miles, like youwant the first class seat, you
want the status, you you got tofind a way to earn the points,
and those credit cards give youa good way to do it.
Rich (10:39):
Yeah, I personally find those credit card pitches
aggravating as hell. I mean, Idon't even participate in the
program on my airline because itannoys the crap out of me so
much. But at the end of the day,a lot of flight attendants,
especially some of the juniorones, you know, regional ones,
it's like we get a kickback forthose credit card applications.
And you can't fault somebody forwanting a little extra income at
(11:00):
the end of the day, especiallywhen flight attendant flight
attendants are already underpaidas it is. So I don't fault
people for doing it, and I doagree that some of our co
workers go off book a little bitwith the script there and make
up their own littleannouncements. Some people like
decorate carts and roll throughI don't know if I do this at
your airline, but it's like, isreal embarrassing. So I'm with
(11:23):
you on that. I that sort ofstuff definitely drives me
crazy. Next up, usually I neverhave an issue and would never
complain. Anyone who starts asentence off with that pretty
much always has an issue and isalways complaining. I just, I'm
gonna say that right there, butevery time they come behind me
on my last flight, they bumpedmy sleeping baby's head, and I
(11:43):
know why? Didn't I just book awindow seat? Right? Well, I did.
Then my first flight was delayedthree hours, oh, canceling my
connecting flight, so they putme on the next flight to my
destination and only had anaisle seat open. Okay, we're
very cognizant of babies, andwe're very aware of that sort of
stuff when we're moving throughthe cabin. But if you're full on
hanging into the aisle, it's notjust us, like you've got 100 and
(12:06):
something, 200 people on thatplane wandering the aisle. We're
not going to be the only onesbumping your baby like you
really. Can't fault the flightattendants for that. If you're
Andrew (12:14):
hanging in the aisle with the baby, why didn't you
switch the baby to the otherarm? Right? Also, the aisle is
this big and the cart is thisbig. We don't have a lot of
option but to hit you if you'rein the aisle, like, right?
There's only so much space. CARTtakes up the whole entire aisle.
Rich (12:34):
Yeah, I would agree with that. It's like, Oh, my baby is
in the aisle here. Oh, why areyou hitting my baby? No shit.
Sherlock, next,
Andrew (12:51):
I think we covered that with just fine lying about
overhead bins being full andmaking people check bags. This
is literally not a flightattendant thing. We don't lie
about them, if we don't tell youto start leaving your bags until
we are absolutely certain thatthere are no bags left. That is
not a system of a flightattendant. I mean, the gate
(13:12):
agents get prompts. They're toldthat airplane only holds so many
bags. I'm gonna finish readingthis before I start ranting. I'm
already angry about it. I'm sosorry lying about overhead bins
being full and making peoplecheck bags. I've seen it several
times. Even overheard themgiggling and telling the
remaining passengers that theycan't bring bags on. We are not
doing that. I'm so strugglingover this. That's not even a
(13:32):
system of our job. We don'tcheck the bags like we the gate
agents do that. They get analert on their screen that says
too many people have broughtbags on and they start doing it.
Rich (13:43):
And even if we are doing it like the old fashioned way,
like we're communicating withthe agents and telling them,
okay, no more bags, like we'redoing it when it's full, or when
we know there's so many bags inthe aisle and the last few spots
are about to be gone. It's not aperfect science, like we
understand that there are goingto be times where you're gonna
see extra space. Whoops, sorry,
Andrew (14:03):
you know, but like, somebody got up and pulled a
backpack that shouldn't havebeen up there down, and now we
have a hole like, I cannotimagine anyone like, because for
us, that's really stressful,because we end up having bags
start piling up in places, bagsdon't belong, and then we've got
people, and there's just notenough space on the plane to
have more bags than overhead binspace. So, like, if we cut it,
(14:26):
we usually have about five orsix bags in the galley that we
don't know what to do withalready. We're not just out here
being like, he know it'll befun.
Rich (14:35):
And we swear people think that we as flight attendants are
just like, out to piss offpassengers. And I promise you,
that's like the last thing wewant to do if you're in a bad
mood, where you think we want todeal with that, right? Yeah, and
that delays a flight so fasttoo. Like with we don't want
bags piling up places, no.
Andrew (14:53):
Also put your small bags under the seat instead of the
bin, and then you'll help us getmore of these bags on so the.
Guy isn't mad that we'rechecking bags.
Rich (15:01):
Yeah, people refuse to do that sort of thing and help each
other, and then they're all madat us. And it's like, be mad at
your friends. Be mad at the guynext to you who insisted on
having leg room for a 45 minute
Andrew (15:12):
flight when he can't fit his legs under that seat.
Anyways, if the airplane is notshaped for you to like
Rich (15:18):
the way you have to contort your body to stretch.
No, it's a good point. It's noteven worth it, isn't it funny
how we have an episodecomplaining about and we just
found a way to keep bitchingabout passengers interesting
Next up, ignore when they'recalled upon. Even if the calling
button is lit for a long time,they sometimes look the other
(15:39):
way, on purpose guilty.
Andrew (15:44):
I'm not saying I'm not guilty. I really try to answer
them. I think, though, thatrealistically, what people
should understand is that ifwe're standing in the aisle,
they're really hard to see.
Like, I call it the cone ofsilence. It's also a cone of
blindness. If we if our head isup between those bins, those
lights are really hard to see.
(16:04):
And then also, it is inevitablethat if one is pushed, like six
are pushed, and like, thesystems on the airplane only
tell us the first one that waspushed. So we might be like
working them. You might have towait because we're working
because every time we turn oneoff the next one, it tells us
where the next one is, but itwon't tell us where the next one
(16:26):
is until we clear the very firstone that was pushed so
Rich (16:29):
that's a really good point, because, you know, say,
12 goes off, and then all of asudden, you're about to go
answer the call bell in 1224,now goes off. You're gonna skip
past 24 and go to 12, because A,that's the one that you saw on
the little screen that we have,and B, that's the one that went
first. So like, maybe
Andrew (16:47):
now watch me wake three trips to the galley, because I
had to go out to get 12. I hadto go get their order. I had to
go back to them. I had to goback to the galley to figure out
where the next light was.
Because I'm being honest youguys, it is like being up there
between those bins, you knownothing I can't hear or see
anything. That's so true. So Iwe feel your pain on that we
really do. Because I don't likemaking 86 trips to a galley.
(17:10):
What's that? Comedian, Pan Amtouched a trolley the galley
look busy. It's not what'shappening. But it is funny. This
one says, not, let me on
Rich (17:27):
the not, let me on. I kept this one in there because she
said, not, let me on. The helldid you do? Right? What the hell
did you What are you not tellingus?
Andrew (17:37):
Please follow up, because there's a story here. We
we don't just be like, No,
Rich (17:42):
I'm gonna go ahead and call this person out too. It's
shout out to my Rex. Oh, it's adog. Oh, I wonder what happened
there. Service, animal cabin,pet issue.
Andrew (17:54):
I mean, some airlines don't allow pets. So like, I
wonder
Rich (17:58):
what happened there.
Follow up with us. We want toknow more about what happened to
you, and I'm gonna, I want totell you how to tell you how to
get on the plane. Rex, right?
Because, if it's a dog, nowwe're feeling sympathetic or
sad, but if it was just you asthe human, what did you do
wrong? Is really the question,right? The next one, only thing
is a slight inconvenience, iswhen they do trash back to front
(18:20):
and I don't see them coming, andI have to keep my plastic cup in
the seat back until the cabingets prepared for landing. It's
a rough life, but I survive.
Truthfully, we agree.
Andrew (18:30):
Well, I agree with you on this. We were talking about
it the other day. I like, turnif I'm going to do it back to
front. I like, turn and face thepassengers so I can see if they
hold something up to go back tothem. I don't ever walk through
the cabin like, yeah, facing thefront of the plane. Like, I'll
turn around and face the back ofthe plane so that I can walk
with my back towards the flightdeck as I walk up to the front
(18:51):
of the
Rich (18:51):
plane, right? Because that avoids this whole issue all
together. Then you don't havepeople being like, Oh, you miss
me, correct? That's when peoplestart grabbing you too. They
start pulling. Up. Don't touchus. Don't touch stop touching
us. But that's when people startpoking my trash. Don't poke me
with trash, correct?
Andrew (19:07):
Don't touch me at all.
Don't do it.
Rich (19:10):
Yeah, I usually just, I mean, I'll go to the front and
start there, like, I'll bringthe trash bag up and start and
work my way back, because I haveto go to the back anyway.
Andrew (19:18):
So see, I generally work the front of the airplane. So if
I'm in the back of the airplanestarting, I'm making my way to
the front anyway. So that's whyI turn around and face yeah,
like I'm not going to the back
Rich (19:30):
either way. I think the rule applies that you're pretty
much just doing trash in thedirection of where you need to
go.
Andrew (19:37):
Yes, but I do try to make sure that people can see
me. So I hear your complaint,and I agree with you, I always
get in trouble for having apeanut allergy. They try to make
me eat stuff on the plane, eventhough I physically can't, most
often, and then get upset that Ididn't request a special meal.
Most airlines have dietaryrequests except a peanut
allergy, specifically so Iliterally can't, and I always
(19:59):
get. Lectured about it. Thefirst question hurts my
feelings.
Rich (20:03):
Well, yeah, I mean, I'm sad for this person, but who's
forcing you to eat airplanefood? I've never once been like
you must eat this meal like, Idon't understand that part of
it.
Andrew (20:15):
Oh, I would be, I would be that. No soup for you, guy,
(21:20):
no soup for you. What? If youdon't eat this meal, you don't
get anything else. No soup foryou?
Rich (21:26):
Well, yeah, but I'm not forcing them to eat it. Oh,
yeah, that's what they're sayinghere, right? So that's odd to
me.
Andrew (21:32):
Are they spoon feeding you? I don't get it. I don't
know. I'm also very confusedabout this, but I'm also really
sad that you feel this way, thatyou feel like you're being
lectured and forced to eatthings because you shouldn't be.
I mean, your allergy should berespected. I think, from me to
you, if we're talking aboutthis, I don't want to lecture
(21:54):
you, but we really don't haveoptions, right? Don't pre order.
It's not like a restaurant whereI can go scrape the peanuts off
of it for you. So maybe it'scoming across as a lecture when
they're really just trying to,like, explain what's happening.
But if you don't special order,we don't have options for you.
We can't, like, run back andmake you we don't have a chef on
board to make you a new a newmeal.
Rich (22:16):
I also don't know that they're necessarily lecturing
you as maybe just trying to giveyou information about what the
options are and what the optionsmight be in the future. Most of
the times, in these situations,I've seen flight attendants give
information and try to behelpful, not so much lecturing
somebody. So it's it's sad thatyou felt that way, but we
definitely understand that. Andunfortunately, peanut allergies,
(22:38):
not allergies on airplanes, arehard. There's not a lot that we
can do, you know, to stop otherpassengers and things like that.
So that can be a difficult onefor sure. Next one, they
tolerate bad passengers becausetheir employers don't back them
up enough to cuss them out andzip tie them to the seat. I
liked this one because I don'ttake crap from people I'm not
(23:00):
dealing with
Andrew (23:02):
it same. Ask any of my flying partners, they'll know
I'm usually the one they cometo, yeah, to handle.
Rich (23:10):
They know you're gonna put your foot down and maybe be kind
of an ass about it.
Andrew (23:15):
No, I always do it professionally and smartly, but
I don't leave room fornegotiation. I'll tell you
Rich (23:22):
that. Well, Said,
Andrew (23:26):
it's my airplane, this house gonna go today. I feel
like you're the same, though youmay not get called upon, but I
also feel like your attitudewhen things start going wrong is
it's my airplane. That's the wayit has. It's gonna go,
Rich (23:39):
yeah, yeah. I mean, definitely, I there's rules for
a reason. You don't follow them,you don't fly like it really is
that simple. This is not a placewhere people can start doing
whatever they want. Airplanesare not the place for people to
have their own opinions aboutsafety regulations and things
like that. Like, you just don'tget to decide that, because this
is in place for everybody onboard to be
Andrew (23:59):
safe, period, correct? I think this one's similar. PUT UP
WITH obnoxious, oblivious ordownright rude behavior of many
passengers, they should beallowed an eject button. Please
put this in your next commentsto the airline when they send
you a survey, please tell themthe eject button idea.
Rich (24:17):
That's why I left this one in there. I really like their
idea for an eject button. Yeah,and I think we should be allowed
to use it, because we do put upwith too much. I mean, science
is getting pretty good.
Technology is getting prettygood. We've got to get there.
We've got to get to an injectbutton level. When they watch me
struggle putting my bag in theoverhead and don't offer to help
me, I have short arms, and I'venever been sure if it's part of
(24:40):
their job or not, if it's not,no complaints, but I warmly
thank the ones that
Andrew (24:45):
do help me. I would lead with it's not part of our jobs
because so many airlinesliterally forbid us from helping
you lift your bags. Our systemsto assist you with bags are
normally to check them. So ifyou know that you can't get the
bag into the overhead binyourself, or you're not
(25:06):
traveling with someone who can,the gate agents are usually
making about a millionannouncements about how our bins
are going to be full and tocheck your bag. And so I would
opt for that option beforegetting mad at somebody for not
being able to help you?
Rich (25:23):
Yeah, I would first rely on other passengers, because
your crew, nine times out of 10,will not be able to help you,
especially if you have a heavybag. Chances are if you can't
lift it, we can't either, and ifwe do, we're not covered by our
insurance. A lot of times, youknow, so we get injured, moving
your bag, lifting your bag,then, you know there's not also,
Andrew (25:43):
if I do get injured, you're then mad because your
flight is delayed or canceled,right? Yeah.
Rich (25:49):
So definitely ask, ask round, ask other passengers.
Don't be mad at your crew.
There's not a lot we can do. Imean, obviously, if you're short
and you do the lifting and youcan't get it all the way in,
like we're there to help assistyou. You know, get get it all
the way into the bin, rearrangeit however needs to be done, but
the lifting part is on
Andrew (26:06):
you, yeah, playing a game on their phones. When you
go to the galley looking for adrink, they act like you're
interrupting their break. Youare, you are,
Rich (26:18):
I know, I think passengers fail to realize that, like,
sometimes we'll work, you know,1214, 15 hour days. We don't get
a break, like we don't havescheduled lunch breaks. It's not
like we clock out for 30 minutesor whatever. So like that
downtime between service andcall bells and, you know, cabin
checks and things like that,that is the time that we have to
(26:40):
eat and to do whatever, youknow. So we kind of juggle that
sort of stuff with our regularjob responsibilities. So I'm
sorry that you felt like youwere interrupting, but sometimes
it's our only, our only chanceto have a minute. You know.
Andrew (26:54):
Also, I don't want to start a fight with my husband,
but that's literally what yourcall bell is for. It gives us a
chance to, like, put our lunchor phone down, or put a bookmark
in our book so that we can cometo you and find out how to
assist you, so that you don'tfeel like you're interrupting us
because you are.
Rich (27:12):
And I will say in this instance, like the call bell
does make a lot more sense forthat sort of thing in terms of
like customer service, like, wecall you, call upon us. We go to
you. We're ready for whatevercustomer service need is about
to happen. You catch us in thegalley while we're like, eating
our lunch. You came into ourspace, you know, like that.
Usually have lettuce hanging outof my mouth. If you wander into
(27:34):
the galley and I'm stuffing myface with food or something.
Then you, you had that comingbecause you, you did that when
they don't use deodorant andreach across you. This should be
a rule for everybody,passengers. It is a rule for
Well, I know it is for us, likewe do have very strict codes of
conduct, and we are required tohave good hygiene, to smell
(27:57):
good, to have good breath, brushour teeth, like all that stuff
is written down for us as flightattendants, and I don't think
people realize that,
Andrew (28:03):
but I am going to tell you some days you can do the
best you can. And you have beenon an airplane without an APU
for six and a half hours, andyou have been sweat ting in
polyester, which does notbreathe and does not absorb
water, and you have been sweatTing, yeah, baby girl, you gonna
get a stinky armpit? I don'tcare. Yeah, I ain't even trying.
(28:24):
I'm literally standing heretrying not to pass out. I don't
care if I smell or not. I do notwell.
Rich (28:29):
And half the time, like when you're working somewhere in
the summer, you know, betweenflights, like they power the
engine zone, they turn the APUoff, the plane gets hot fast. It
is a metal tube sitting in thesun.
Andrew (28:41):
It's 80 degrees outside, and you've got 200 people on the
plane. That's a lot of body heatthat's being generated. So and
so I apologize for my sweaty armpit, but I don't care. And I
reapply. And I did it oncebefore I left, bumping into me
multiple times. If I'm in anaisle seat, this is kind of the
same thing with the baby. Moveif you got bumped once, you
(29:02):
should know you're in the way.
Scoot in a little bit. Move wesaid, Excuse me, I don't move
the cart through the airplanewithout being like, we're coming
through. We're coming through.
We're coming through. Like, howyou say it? Just like that,
yeah.
Rich (29:18):
Yeah. I mean, actually, I
Andrew (29:19):
usually say carts out, move your body parts.
Rich (29:23):
Interesting, they say, you know, like these people are
wearing their noise cancelingheadphones, and it's like you're
not listening anyway. We tried,we tried to warn you the aisle
is like our office.
Andrew (29:36):
Also you knew the cart was coming through, because you
get mad at us when it doesn'tcome
Rich (29:41):
through right give male passengers their full attention
and respect, and treat womenpassengers in the same class
like their cattle. I left thiscomment in because I think it's
funny, because I think it's thereverse, exactly, and I treat
these grown men who act likebabies, like the cattle that
(30:03):
they are. So I'm sorry that youfelt disrespected. I'm assuming
this person is a woman, butyeah, no, I offer
Andrew (30:12):
Have you had male flight because Correct? I'm like, is
this a female flight attendantthing? Oh, maybe, maybe it's a
female, because as a male, Itotally ignore the other dudes
on the airplane same well, notignore what, you know what I
mean, yeah, yes. Not ignore whenthey give you a hairy eyeball
when you ask for two more ginand tonics. My first question
(30:35):
is, how many gin and tonics Areyou in when you ask? Because
that's the only way you'regetting
Rich (30:42):
an eyeball. For me, the fact that you're asking for two
more. Are you with somebody? Areyou asking for this for
yourself? Like, are you gettingsloppy, my friend, is that
what's happening here? Becausealcohol, technically, according
to the Federal AviationRegulations, you're not allowed
to be drunk on a plane. Like,right? Period. It, and obviously
it does happen to people, or wewouldn't have so many YouTube
(31:05):
and Tiktok moments as we do. Myquestion is, how are you acting,
young lady,
Andrew (31:10):
yeah, cause I really feel like we don't. I mean, we
do monitor them, but like, aslong as you're not acting any
sort of way, you don't geteyeballs from me.
Rich (31:21):
I had a flight attendant wear enough perfume to give me a
headache on a seven hour flight.
I didn't say anything, but isn'tthat like part of training?
Andrew (31:28):
No, you can't complain that we smell too good and then
complain that we smell too bad.
So you got to pick one, pick alane, because I'm either wearing
perfume or you're going to get astinky armpit. Like it's not you
can't have both ways. I think
Rich (31:40):
the rule is, like, we're just not allowed to smell
strongly of anything, likenegative or positive. But I do
feel like you kind of have topick your poison there. Do you
want to smell your armpit? Or doyou want some perfume?
Andrew (31:50):
Well, I don't know. I've been wearing the same scent for
like, 15 years, so I'm prettynose blind to it. Yeah. Rich
always yells at me every time wego outside. My husband's like,
doing a cloud of Cologne, twosprays, husband, two sprays, and
I'm like, but I love it and Ican't smell it yet.
Rich (32:06):
I mean, while I'm having
Andrew (32:11):
Yes, but pick a line, because we either smell good or
we don't putting their bags overthe bulkhead siege, which leaves
no space for people sitting inthe bowl kids.
Rich (32:22):
This one annoys me, because it really depends on
where on the aircraft. This ishappening. Like, a lot of times
we don't have set or we do haveset locations for our bags, and
sometimes that isn't an overheadbin that might be in one of
these, like, premium rows orwhatever. Like, it really just
depends on the airplane, andwe're required to have our bags
(32:43):
with us because they containemergency equipment that we have
to have within such and suchfeet of our jump seats. So it's
really hard to sympathize withsomeone here because we're
required to have our bags incertain places on the plane.
Andrew (32:56):
And also, I don't know a lot of flight attendants who
don't like accommodate bags likethat the best they can, right? I
your roller board, depending onwhen you got on the airplane,
may have to go a few rows back,but like the extra bags that,
like most people don't have toput up, versus backpacks,
computer bags. We try, I try,and I know Rich tries really
(33:19):
hard. And I've seen a lot offlight attendants try really
hard to make sure they'll staywithin that space, like right
above you, like we're not takingthem to give them away. But I
think the important part is toremember is that our bags do
contain things that we needthroughout the day, that we're
literally required to havewithin a certain amount of feet
of us. So it's not like we'reputting our roller bags up
(33:41):
there, because we don't know.
But if you knew how many timesmy roller bag has been taken off
by a passenger who doesn't knowwhat their bag looks like, you
would not want your bag out ofeyeshot either. Yeah, honestly,
like, it's so true. How do younot know what your bag looks
like? Not me bitching aboutpassengers again, like, how do
you not know what your bag lookslike that. You decided mine. The
one back, black with back, blackbag with the giant crew tag on
(34:06):
it, right, was yours.
Rich (34:11):
Yeah, and people, I've heard stories of people like,
that bag is gone. That bag isnow on Columbus, Ohio, and like,
has to find its way back to theflight attendant. So, yeah, you
can't fault us for not wantingto have our bags
Andrew (34:23):
far away. Stop stealing my bags, and I'll keep room in
the bulkhead for you.
Rich (34:28):
Next one. When they told me no photos, I was just trying
to capture the moment. Oh, myGod, do I go into your workplace
and take photos of you whileyou're working? No, it's weird.
Stop taking pictures of crewmembers. That drives me crazy.
You can ask. I mean, sometimes,you know, I've posed with
certain passengers or whatever,that, like, want a picture to
(34:49):
remember their flight orwhatever. But like, don't just
go taking pictures or video ofpeople that you don't know.
That's just weird.
Andrew (34:55):
Also, what are you taking pictures of? Because
everyone says that they'll neverforget, but the moment I tell
you, you can't take a picture ofthe flight deck, everyone seems
to have forgotten. And I'm like,what? Yeah, there we have rules
for a reason. There are safetythings. You can't just take
pictures of everything,absolutely, for a reason that we
(35:16):
all promised never to forget.
People forgot credit cardannouncements mid flight and
talking loudly to their coworkers in the galley on a night
flight,
Rich (35:27):
it was the talking loudly in a galley that I wanted to
keep in there, not the creditcard part so much, because I, I
get this. I mean, flightattendants really think that
they're in some sort of, likesound proof, soundproof, like
podcast recording studio orsomething, even back there in
the galley when they weretalking about people and each
other. And the truth is, likethe last six rows, can hear you
Andrew (35:50):
also, I understand that you came prepped to take a nap.
I am legally required to stayawake. And you disagree with
this. I don't disagree with you.
I. Think there is a respectfullevel of tone that we can
achieve together. But I thinkbefore you come into a galley
and shush somebody, you shouldremember that I am just trying
(36:11):
to stay awake because I willlose my job if my eyes even
begin to like droop and pretendlike I'm sleeping.
Rich (36:20):
That's funny, waking me up for food in spite of being told
I didn't want to when I boarded.
Um, I have never woken anybodyup for anything except maybe,
like, on landing, to sit you upand get your seat belt back,
yeah, to, like, get you incompliance with the regular but
I promise I'm not trying to domore work than I need to. So me
waking you up means I have, thenhave to do things. Why do I
(36:41):
don't poke the bear? Like, whywould I want to angry? Why am I
gonna go out of my way and wakea sleepy person? The same goes
for the flip side to like,anytime someone's like, well,
you skipped me. You were soundasleep, and I'm not waking
somebody. If someone is asleepon a plane, chances are they're
asleep on a plane because theywant sleep. They need sleep.
Andrew (37:03):
Yeah, when I wake you, also I didn't skip you. I move
through the airplanesystematically, row by row.
Start with the window, make myway to the aisle, aisle window
like there is a giant system forthis that, like every flight
attendant does, we didn't skipyou. We didn't forget about you.
(37:24):
We've been staring at you forthree hours now. There's no way
that we forgot you. Yeah, justsay I didn't know what I wanted,
or I wasn't ready when you camethrough. I was probably sleeping
when I didn't see you comethrough. All of those are
acceptable. I didn't skip you,but didn't do it. It's
physically impossible for me tohave skipped you.
Rich (37:45):
Yeah, I would agree with that. So
Andrew (37:48):
that's it. That's what you guys hate about us.
Rich (37:51):
And it turns out, we found some more things, because that's
just the kind of flightattendants. We are the best.
We're really the best one.
Should we have a story before wego? Oh, please tell me you have
a good one. We do galley gossipnow, where we share a story from
our listeners, and you guys cansubmit those stories to us at
two guys on a plane, comm slashpodcast, and tell us all the
(38:12):
crazy, wild, wonderful thingsthat have happened. They can be
good stories. They can be badstories. Feel free to remain
anonymous if you'd like to orput a fake name, we don't mind,
but we do want real stories. Sothe next story that we have for
today is from Amanda. She was inNew Brunswick in Canada, and she
said I was just coming off aflight during Calgary Stampede
(38:35):
Week. Oh, this is about her alldecked out in my uniform dress,
with the addition of a cowboyhat, boots and bandana along
with all of my luggage. Thevisual is, you
Andrew (38:48):
feel like you immediately need to look up what
Stampede Week is. No, I do.
Rich (38:53):
I got down to the bottom of the escalator at the arrivals
hall, walked about 10 feet andthen lost my balance, caught
myself, then did a swan dive,face planted into the floor flat
out on my stomach like apancake. I braced myself for a
second. Quietly asked my coworker if anyone was looking
everyone at arrivals who hasjust got off our flight, we're
definitely looking I said, Okay,on the silent count of three,
(39:14):
I'm gonna get up and we'reflying out of here gracefully.
Got up as gracefully as I could,and we rushed out like we were
part of the stampede. Oh, myGod. Most embarrassing moment. I
fully expected it to be onTiktok or something, but never
happened. I wish someone had aplayback for me, because it's so
funny now that I think about it,after the fact, I'm so sorry
that you fell I think moral ofthe story is maybe you shouldn't
(39:38):
have worn a cowboy hat with yourflight attendant uniform. You'll
have to send us a picture ofthat outfit. Yeah, we need to
see it, Amanda. We want to wewant to see what the outfit
looks
Andrew (39:51):
actually, I need us to reach out to Amanda so we can,
like, put it up between us, sothat everyone can see what
Amanda was edited into theepisode. Yes, we need to see
what Amanda's wearing. But Ireally hate this, because I feel
like we've, everyone has taken aspill at some point in their
career. Yeah, those bags getcaught up into something. Yeah,
(40:13):
your role at always. It's alwaysthe carpet at airports and
whoever decided the carpet wasgood for, like, rolling bags. I
really want a special person isI just want to smack shit out of
them. Have you been toCincinnati? I swear someone's
like, someone's brother in lawowns a carpet store, and that's
the only reason that there's somuch carpet in this airport. But
(40:36):
I just maybe really want topunch them. It sounds like
something since I would do, but,yeah, your roller bag just gets
caught on nothing, and the nextthing you know, you're like, ass
up for no reason, just staringat the ceiling, hoping, hoping
that no one saw it. So I'm sorryfor your spill, but that's
funny.
Rich (40:54):
Well, that's all we have for today, but make sure to
check out more exclusive contentfrom us behind the scenes.
Stuff, bloopers and all thatsort of fun stuff. In our
Patreon community, you can joinat patreon.com/two guys on a
plane, and everything that weearn there goes back into
helping make our podcast happen.
So we can't thank you guysenough for your support as a
(41:14):
thank you, you'll get all sortsof extra content, merch and fun
ways to connect with us and ourcommunity, so go check that out,
and we'll see you next time.
Andrew (41:25):
Join us for more humor, heart and stories from our
beverage cart.
Rich (41:29):
This episode was brought to you by staff traveler, the
number one non rev app if youtravel on standby tickets and
are looking to make your journeyeasy and stress free, check out
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Buzz Burbank (41:47):
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