All Episodes

August 7, 2025 8 mins
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, guys, and welcome back. I'm going to tell you
guys a story about me getting banned from the sex shop.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
You heard it first of all, you guys. I went
in with a friend.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
Of mine and I was telling her, Oh, I'm new
to this place.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
I haven't been to this one.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
I'm thinking that the person that's normally there at night
is not there during the daytime. So I walk in
and all of a sudden, I hear somebody say her Cassandra.
I turn and I go, oh, oh, hi, and my friends,

(00:50):
just like I thought, you say, you've never been here.
I say, well, and so the ladies like Cassandra's VIP.
So I'm walking her around and I'm showing her everything,
and then you know, she starts picking up stuff and

(01:12):
she's like.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Hey, I like this, what does this dude?

Speaker 1 (01:18):
And I'm like, shit, you can't be talking too loud
in here, you know, because you know guys are walking
around and there as well as women.

Speaker 2 (01:26):
So I'm like, don't be talking so loud.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
So she picked up one of the dildools that had
the penis on each end.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
And she was like, girl, look at this. She was like,
I've never seen one of these in person. I only
saw these on the sex videos. I'm like, okay, okay,
nice to know. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
So she kept picking up stuff, you guys, and I
was like, you know what, this time for us to go.
So we ended up leaving and I ended up going
back like next day.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
So I got back to the sex shop.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
And I see these penises that say realistic.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
So I put my finger in a little hole.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
You know, you really can't feel nothing, you know, they
want you to like rub the skin from that little hole.
And I just couldn't see how realistic it was. So
I opened the box. And then I began to open
a couple of boxes and I opened a nine inch,

(02:36):
a ten inch, and an eleven inch, and so I
took them out and I like rubbing them and stroking them,
and I was like, oh man, this does feel real
it even bins like one. So then I'm just standing
there and I'm just stroking them and bending them and
I'm like, I like this one. Oh, I really like

(02:58):
this one. So the lady goes, oh, no, you can't
open those. I said, it says realistic. And I had
to see and she's like, no, no, you can't open those.
She said, that's what the hole is for. I said,
you can't really feel the skin, And so I said,
I don't want any of those anyways, I gotta numb.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
I got one that was in the box.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
And so she said, after we do this purchase, you
won't be able to come back because you're not allowed
to open up the products and like just touch them,
and because other people are going to buy them. And
I said okay, So I said, so how long? What
do you mean I can't come back? So she was like, well,
we're gonna have to ban you for like a year, and.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I was like what.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
And then because then they found out that I didn't
just open up those three you guys. I had opened
up like multiple things and then I was like touching
them because they say realistic. So after a year, I
was able to go back to the sex shop. And
so when I go back this time, I say, why

(04:05):
are all the boxes that say realistic covered in plastic?

Speaker 2 (04:09):
They're like sealed in plastic.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
They were like, oh, because somebody came in and opened
up a lot of the boxes and and so they
just want to make sure that the product is safe.
I started saying to myself, I am that somebody. I
am so guilty. I am so guilty. But what I
will say is that when they say realistic, you guys,
those things really do feel like the real thing. They

(04:35):
even got the penis now that but they had it
for a while. But they even have the one now
where you gotta put like the calm looking liquid in
what do you call it. It's like, oh my god,

(04:56):
I don't use that stuff, but it's like a that
will get you wet, that gets the woman wet to
keep up from drying out. They had that, but actually
have it in come that looks like come exactly like come,
and you will squeeze this into the back of the
penis and it's like you're dragging the penis and then

(05:18):
you press a little button and it's got soup.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Just like it just colms, it just it squirts out.
So yeah, they have those now.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
So I mean, these things are like so real it's ridiculous.
So I mean, for women who don't want no man
and they just want to get themselves off, don't just
be buying these dill doors, you guys. You have to
buy the realistic ones. I got banned just so I
could tell you guys that the realistic ones are really

(05:48):
really real. They are so nice. But yeah, I just
had to tell you, guys, ire a fan from the
sex shop man. But now I'm back on the VIP
list and I can go back anytime I want. And
now whenever I do go back, I'm like, what a camera.

(06:08):
And then the one worker he was there and he
was like, if you need any help, just let me know.
I can help you. And I said, no, I'm pretty
good at this. I'm good. I got this. He's like, okay.
And so the lady, this lady was asking what a
certain dealdo did and I was like, oh, that's good,
but you're looking for the other one. That one will

(06:31):
actually make you come a lot faster. And guy was like,
you need to get a job here. I said, I
really do you know? If I look at the section
up you guys, I promise I will bring in a
lot of money because I know my products, you know,
I know the products really well.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
And then I run across one that they had a penis.
Y're this thing was so huge, and I asked the guy.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
I was like, why would y'all carry a peace and
it's that gigantic you can't even go in the woman.
That thing was humongous, and he was like, you would
not believe the women that come in here and purchase those,
I said, but you can't even get it between your legs,
it's so huge. He was like, I don't know what

(07:20):
they're doing with them, but they come in and they
buy them like crazy. So yeah, you guys, I just
had to tell you guys my little sex story from
the sex shop.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
But I'm back in and I'm back a VIP and
I'm a.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
VIP in both sex stores now, but I generally like
the one that's on the other side of town better.
But that's all of you guys. But yeah, when you
go to the sex shop, don't touch nothing. Just touch
what you're gonna buy. Don't touch nothing. You don't want

(07:55):
to be bad. So that's all that topic, you guys
until next time.

Speaker 2 (08:02):
Goodbye,
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark

My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.

The Joe Rogan Experience

The Joe Rogan Experience

The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.