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May 14, 2025 52 mins

How much are you spending to convince yourself you're healthy—or at least appear that way? This week, we take aim at the exorbitant price tags of wellness rituals, exploring the irony of spending hundreds, if not thousands, on trendy products that might do little more than offer a placebo effect. From Erewhon's $40 gourmet ice and overhyped Hailey Bieber smoothies to influencers who mask vanity as virtue, we unpack the reality of wellness as the new status symbol. We question the true value of cosmetic surgeries—like nose jobs cleverly disguised as "health fixes"—and consider the irreversible decisions some make in the quest for the perfect aesthetic. Whether it’s designer mouth tape or preserved Muscle Chef meals masquerading as peak nutrition, we expose the wellness industry’s greatest trick: selling FOMO as health. Ultimately, we ask: are we genuinely healthier, or just spending our lives—and wallets—on an illusion?

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