May 16, 2025 • 44 mins
In this episode of Unrelated Sisters: Truth & Grace Conversation, we’re flipping the script on what it means to be “high maintenance.” Is it about hair, heels, and hustle—or is there a deeper call to maintain our spiritual life with the same intention and care? Join us as we explore how to prioritize peace over perfection and live rooted in God’s truth. Are you high maintenance… in your spirit? 💅🏽 This week, the Unrelated Sisters tackle the pop culture label and ask what it really means in the life of a woman of faith. We break down the difference between striving and abiding, talk about daily spiritual habits, and ask some soul-searching questions: Are we spending more time on our outer beauty than our inner peace? Are we maintaining our relationship with God like we do everything else?
💭 Topics covered:
- The world’s definition of “high maintenance” vs. God's definition of worth
- How spiritual maintenance is deeper than daily devotionals — it’s about abiding
- John 15:4 and James 4:8 as anchors for peace and connection
- Practical tips to prioritize God, protect your peace, and walk in consistent grace
- A powerful prayer to center your soul and release perfectionism
💬 Whether you’re a boss babe, mama in the thick of it, or just tired of the hustle—this conversation is for you.
We want this to be truly interactive podcast. Please go in the fan mail at
https://unrelatedsisterspodcast.buzzsprout.com and tell us your stories and let us know if it’s okay to share (no names). Let us know if you need prayer or how we can support you in your journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. Follow us on Facebook @Unrelated Sister's: Truth & Grace Conversation Podcast or Email us at unrelatedsisterspodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_04 (00:01):
Lord, we love you today.
We thank you for thisopportunity.
Lord, you just come together,God, as sisters.
(00:21):
Unrelated sisters, that's whatwe are.
But we thank you, God, thatyou're going to speak through us
today and that every word spokenwill bring truth and grace.
In Jesus' name, amen.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Amen.
Hey, ladies, and welcome back.
This is Unrelated Sisters Truthand Grace Conversation.
And today, we are digginginto...
SPEAKER_04 (00:41):
Wait, you didn't tell me who you are.
Oh, I
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
forgot.
Who am
SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
I?
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (00:46):
your host, Shannon.
And I...
SPEAKER_04 (00:52):
Well, okay.
She's Shannon.
I'm Deb.
SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
And we are Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace
Conversation.
SPEAKER_04 (00:59):
We are.
So today, I chose this topic onhigh maintenance because a few
months back, I was in thetanning bed because I like to
tan at least once a week.
And, you know, a lot of times Iuse that nine minutes that I'm
standing there to pray.
(01:21):
And it goes by faster if I'mpraying in the tanning bed.
So anyway, I was praying andtalking to the Lord about some
things.
And he asked me the question,are you high maintenance?
Because I guess I was thinkingabout being in the tanning bed,
obviously.
And I was like, well, Lord, youknow I am.
You know what I mean?
(01:42):
Pretty high maintenance, I liketo think.
And so then he asked me thisother question.
How is your spirit, man?
How maintenance is your spirit,man?
And I was like, ooh.
So that got me digging.
So I got to thinking about, andI started going, and I went
home, and I was looking up thedefinition of what being high
(02:03):
maintenance actually is.
And I think, and don't get mewrong, I think that having it
together, high maintenance isnot a bad thing, I don't think.
As long as you are doing it inmoderation.
Because I think that the Lordwants you to have nice things.
And wants you to, you know, tolook present.
(02:25):
If that's what you like.
You know what I mean?
But what are you doing it for?
You know what I mean?
And so, really, I don't know.
It got me to thinking about howmuch time I spend getting ready.
The money I spend.
You know, maybe getting hernails done and things to keep my
(02:47):
outward appearance.
And so I was like, why do I dothat?
Do I do it?
So, you know, I argue with Godsometimes.
And I'm like, well, God, I dothat because, you know, I just
like to.
But really, why do I do it?
Am I doing it because I'mcomparing?
You know, I see other women.
And is it like a comparisonthing you're trying to keep up?
(03:08):
You know what I mean?
And so really, I spend a lot oftime in the mornings.
I would say...
45 minutes, I guess, gettingready in the morning.
You know what I mean?
And I wear makeup every day.
I don't know, Shannon, are youhigh maintenance?
SPEAKER_00 (03:24):
So first of all, let's define high
SPEAKER_04 (03:27):
maintenance, right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
So high maintenance in pulp culture right now,
right?
What it means is You hear it allthe time.
Oh, she's high maintenance.
But what does it really mean?
And what's it really about whenit comes to your spiritual
lives?
So high maintenance is demandinga lot of attention, money,
effort, or time.
Requiring a lot to be happy.
So you ask the question, why?
(03:52):
Why do you spend 45 minutesgetting ready every morning?
Or why do you feel like you'rehigh maintenance?
So I don't call it highmaintenance.
I get my nails done every twoweeks.
I get my hair done every fiveweeks.
I get a massage once a month.
I call that self-care, right?
(04:12):
But I don't do it for anybodybut myself, and I've not always
done it.
I just started doing it a fewyears ago when I realized that
self-care, right, that hour ofmassage once a month, I don't
have a phone on.
I don't have my watch on.
I lay there with my eyes closed,getting my massage, and that's
(04:35):
my moment, right?
To do, if I want to go to sleep,I go to sleep.
If I want to pray to God, I prayto God.
If I want to do it, I'll do it.
It's not high maintenance to me.
It's self-care, right?
Because you have to, as womenand as caregivers, it's hard to
find that moment of peace inyour life.
(04:57):
So, It's really why are youdoing high maintenance is what's
important.
Why do you get up and spend 45minutes getting ready every
morning?
Why?
Because I used to do it.
I used to get up every morningand put makeup on.
And I used to get up everymorning and spend 45 minutes
doing my hair and all of that.
And I don't do that anymore.
(05:17):
And here's why.
Because the one person thatneeds to know who I am and know
what my heart is, he knows.
And he doesn't care if I havemakeup on.
He doesn't care if my hair goespoof.
He doesn't care.
You know, I'm not saying youneed to get up and be like some
of those people at Walmart.
(05:37):
And everybody has seen thatwebsite.
I'm not saying that.
You need to have brushy hair.
You need to fix your hair.
You know, you need to...
Wash your face.
Well,
SPEAKER_04 (05:46):
I know you have brushy teeth and all
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
that.
Brushy teeth.
You know, you need to do allthat.
But if you like putting onmakeup, I don't like it.
I don't mind putting on themakeup.
I don't like coming home andhaving to clean it off.
Right?
I'll go to bed and then mypillow is covered in makeup
because I'm too lazy to wash it.
That's why I don't havecontacts.
Like, I don't want to deal withhaving to put them in every day.
I did have them one time.
(06:09):
I just didn't know what to doabout it.
So then I got my foundation.
UNKNOWN (06:12):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:12):
Well, I think this just resonated with me because
it is something that I'vestruggled with in my past, too.
And even carries on now, I'lljust be honest.
I like attention.
Even my husband, I'm like, I'm aneedy person, kind of.
Seriously.
You wouldn't think it.
(06:33):
Maybe you would.
I don't know.
Kevin will tell you I am.
But I think I have that.
I don't know.
I think I demand a lot ofattention.
Not as bad as I used to, themore that I'm growing in Christ.
And the more time I spend on myspirit, man, the less that
becomes.
But that was one of the thingsthe Lord, when I started
breaking it down, I was like,how much time are you spending
(06:56):
in your Bible?
And I think all the things thatwe do, the makeup, like you
said, the hair and the nails,that is definitely self-care.
But when you break it down tothe high maintenance, requiring
a lot of attention, effort,money, I feel like I would fall
in that category, maybe a 6 or7.
(07:18):
I was a 10, so I'm gettingbetter.
You know what I mean?
But what do we do it for?
You know what I mean?
At the end of the day, and whenI really started thinking about,
and I really started...
getting out of myself you knownot because i was full of myself
(07:38):
and if anybody follows me onfacebook you know i take a lot
of pictures i'm the selfie queenthey call it and a part of me is
like oh it's because i was inaddiction for so many years and
i didn't take pictures no i wanteverybody to see me you know
what i mean it's okay it's okayso um You know, the Lord really
(08:01):
was dealing with me on thosethings about maintaining my
spirit, man.
And what does that look like?
You know, we maintain our, likeyou're saying, our self-care,
and it's okay to do that.
You know what I mean?
You've got to have that balance.
But what's our spirit, man, looklike?
What's our inside look like?
SPEAKER_00 (08:19):
You know, and how do you separate it, right?
How do you separate your insidesfrom your outsides would be a
question that I would ask,right?
And I think that has a lot to dowith if you take care of the
outside, then it's easier tofulfill the inside, right?
(08:41):
Because at the end of the day,we constantly give to everybody
else.
We give to our kids.
We give to our job.
We give to our husband.
We give to our house.
We give to our cars.
We give, you know, I mean, Idon't know about you, but When
my party's an old change, myhusband says, take it to
Walmart, right?
He doesn't do it.
Or, you know, when I needsomething or when I need, you
(09:03):
know, my kid needs something,you know, first thing he does is
call me, right?
So at the end of the day, how dowe fulfill our cup?
And maybe it is taking selfies.
Maybe it is getting our nailsdone.
Maybe it is, right?
But...
What does God want?
He wants that relationship.
At the end of the day, it boilsdown to a relationship, right?
(09:27):
He wants you to talk to him.
He wants you to ask for things.
He wants you to thank him forthings.
No different than what we wantfrom our kids.
You know, as mothers, they'redifferent than what we want from
them.
And sometimes, you know, thereal meaning of high maintenance
is who are we trying to impress?
What does self-worth look like,right?
Because society today tells youthat you have to be 5'9", 118
(09:56):
pounds.
You know, it's always told usthat as kids growing up.
You had to wear designerclothes.
You had to wear, you know,certain tennis shoes.
You know, I remember being a kidand we shopped at Kmart and so
we were poor.
But nowadays it's even worse.
Like American Eagle andAeropostale and all of those,
(10:19):
those name brands, you know,most people can't afford that
stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (10:25):
Uh, I think a deeper meaning as well, Matt is, uh,
constantly this, this reallystuck out to me as I was
reading, going over thisoutline, constantly seeking
external validation, you knowwhat I mean?
And, and, um, you're going toget that.
Of course, I'm, Right.
SPEAKER_00 (11:05):
You know, it's not about religion.
It's about relationships.
But it's one of those thingslike, and I don't know if it was
me and you talking about this orif it was me and someone else
talking about this.
It was me and your mom at theWomen's Conference Saturday.
When I became a store managerthree years ago, I went into a
store that had had the samestore manager for over 15 years.
(11:29):
And he...
He kind of let the associates bewhoever they were, right?
And I'm not saying that I'm notdoing that, but out of respect
for my faith, when they areusing bad words, when they are
cussing and they are doing wordslike that, I would get on to
them like I would get on to mychild.
(11:50):
You know, you can talk howeveryou want to when you're outside
this building, but you're notgoing to talk like that in this
building, right?
Some people, that doesn't makethem feel comfortable.
I personally do not like that.
I feel like when every otherword out of your mouth is a cuss
word, it shows how ignorant youreally are.
If you can't have a conversationwithout saying a cuss word,
(12:11):
every other word, then you don'tneed to be having conversations.
As they have seen my faith, asthey have seen They didn't know
the Shannon before.
They just know the one that cameinto their building three years
ago.
Now, I come back the other dayfrom lunch, and they were like,
(12:35):
they have been looking for you.
And I was like, who is they?
And they were like, well, Kellyneeds prayer.
She's having a rough day, andthis one needs that.
And it just makes me smile toknow that they know if they need
prayer.
to come and just get that momentof peace, that they can knock on
my door and come and do that.
(12:55):
If they say a cuss word now,they apologize, right?
So they don't, it's not, theydon't snarl or look at me funny
anymore.
You know, used to they kind ofcross their eyes at me, or you
know how kids do, right?
And I treat them like my kids.
But they don't do that anymore.
And I believe that is part ofthe inner...
(13:20):
Maybe it's coming out.
But ask your mama.
13 years ago, 15 years ago, thatwas not me.
I went into her office one day,and I was being so ugly.
And not to her.
just out loud because i like toexpress myself out loud and she
(13:43):
looked at me and she goes idon't know who you think you are
but you're not going to be likethat in my office if you need to
be like that you need to gosomewhere else and i just kind
of looked at her like ladyyou're crazy right and
SPEAKER_04 (13:53):
that's my mom
SPEAKER_00 (13:54):
yes and don't get me wrong but uh and i believe after
that day that woman startedpraying for me and that's um
That's what got me to where I amtoday.
I think she's seen something inme after that, and I truly
believe that she started prayingfor me that day and that it
(14:15):
changed my life.
It changed my world.
But consistent habits is how youmaintain a spiritual
maintenance, right?
And what do you feel like issome of those healthy spiritual
habits that we need to have
SPEAKER_04 (14:30):
I think for me, and a lot of people is different,
but I love worship.
Worship is my go-to.
When I turn that worship musicon, and I do pray throughout the
day, and I do more now as I'mgrowing, but worship is where
it's at for me.
That's where I get in there, andI feel like I can just surrender
(14:53):
and let my spirit man comealive.
Because we get so...
caught up in doing things andtrying to keep up, for me, keep
up with everything, books,everything.
As a woman, we kind of lose thatsometimes.
(15:15):
And so when I get into myworship and I get into my prayer
time with the Lord, and I cantell, like in the mornings, if I
just skim over a verse in myBible app or Or if I really dig
in on the morning, I can tellthe difference.
I know.
Yeah, I can tell.
(15:36):
So that lets me know, you know,if I can keep my upkeep on the
Spirit, you know, set aside thattime, set aside, and I'm not
saying to be routine about it,you know, whatever the Lord,
because everybody's schedule isdifferent.
But I have noticed for me thatwhen I do that, when I set aside
that time and just, Lord, I'msetting aside this time for you
today.
You know, to build up my spiritand encourage myself in you.
(15:58):
Like David did.
David said he had, you know,David got in his quiet time and
he had encouraged himself beforethe Lord, you know.
And that's what we have to dosometimes.
And I think that a lot of timeswe do confuse our standards with
striving.
And, you know, as women we tryto be perfect and we strive to
do this and to do that.
And we lose sight of really whowe are.
(16:20):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
yeah.
I agree.
You know, we talked about thatin the first one.
I talked about the movie, notknowing what eggs you like,
finding your worth in a man, youknow, in that relationship, but
finding your worth in God.
You know, so I am not thegreatest at reading my Bible
(16:41):
every day.
That is just, I've tried threetimes this year to do the Bible
in 365 days.
i can't get past all the peopleevery time i get to that every
time i get there i'm just like ican't listen to this anymore the
(17:01):
lineages of noah and abraham andit's been very hard to get past
that part for me um so and thatso and i don't want to read i
don't want to read books um iwas uh I was dyslexic in school,
but I wasn't diagnosed until Iwas a freshman in high school.
So I struggled all throughschool up until I was a
(17:25):
freshman.
And then I had a teacher thatnoticed and actually taught me
how to deal with that.
And so I'm not the best reader.
I'm not the best, you know, I'mnot the best speller.
I'm not the best at any of thatacademic part of it.
But me too is worship.
So I drive an hour and 20minutes to work every day.
(17:46):
And I'll drive an hour and 20minutes home every day.
And I've done it for threeyears.
And everybody's like, oh, you'regoing to get tired of that.
That has become my prayercloset, right?
That has become my time withGod.
And it's not every day, right?
Like it's not like some days,some days I'll think about work
going to work, right?
Some days, but when I do that,everything in work is gone.
(18:10):
all on fire when I get to workright but when I spend that hour
and 20 minutes going worshipingGod and praying to God and
talking to God and listening tothe stories that's where I heard
the story from the DJ at youknow in last week's podcast
listening to that you know andthey talk about Bible verses and
they read scripture from theBible and different things like
(18:32):
that that is when my day is justmy day you know
SPEAKER_04 (18:37):
and it's not that when you said that it's not that
um things changed at work likeit could be the same thing but
you're able to get through itand have peace
SPEAKER_00 (18:48):
yeah it's not it may still be on fire don't get me
wrong but
SPEAKER_04 (18:52):
you've already prepared yourself
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
but the way but when i go in with that peace already
on me that it doesn't matterwhat's going on in the building
i can just deal with it we're atwhen i can't when i don't spend
time with god i can't deal withit
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
I like the other one, number four, where it says
guarding your relationships.
That was huge for me becauseKevin used to get so mad at me
because I'm just a peopleperson, and I love everybody,
and I'm like, everybody's good.
And he's to the point, he'slike, no, Deb, he has very good
discernment.
Thank the Lord.
And he's like, no, everybody'snot on your team.
(19:26):
You can't let everybody in yourcircle.
And it took me a long timebecause I didn't want people to,
for one, I'm a people pleaser,or was, So I wanted to make
everybody happy, and so I wouldjust let everybody in my circle.
But I was always in my soul.
My inside was just not at peace,just out of place, out of order.
(19:49):
My whole life was chaos.
But it wasn't until I reallystarted, all right, Lord, I'm
going to set these boundaries,and not everybody can have
access to me.
And it's okay to say no.
It's okay.
It is okay.
It's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:02):
You still don't look like you believe that.
I'm trying.
If
SPEAKER_04 (20:05):
I say it, the more I say it, the
SPEAKER_00 (20:07):
more you're going to believe it.
SPEAKER_04 (20:08):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (20:10):
It is definitely okay to say no.
And that's part of coming out ofaddiction, I think.
I think that where a lot ofpeople fail when they're coming
out of addiction, when they'retrying to stay clean, is it's so
much easier to go back to thosepeople that you know than it is
to find new people.
(20:30):
And cutting yourself off,especially if you've done drugs
as long as we did, right?
I mean, I did drugs for 15years.
There only people knew were drugaddicts, right?
I didn't know any good peopleexcept for, like, my mom and my
sister.
And nobody wants to hang outwith your mom and your sister,
you know.
But cutting them off.
(20:53):
relationships you know off waswas the first thing oh
SPEAKER_04 (20:58):
yeah
SPEAKER_00 (20:58):
that i had to do you know and that included cutting
off my baby's uh my son's uh dadyou know because i got clean and
something in drugs when i foundwas pregnant he didn't and so
you know, I had to make achoice.
And I told him, you know, if youwant to get help and get clean,
you're welcome to be a part ofDylan's life.
(21:19):
And if you choose not to, then Iwill never come after you for
child support.
And I will never, you know, Iwill never bother you.
I will do it all on my own.
And I did it on my own.
Well, the family and God, I didit all on my own.
But That's part of growing theserelationships, and that's hard.
SPEAKER_04 (21:40):
And I don't really think it was even the people in
addiction.
Like, I was okay with cuttingthem off.
For me, people, unhealed peoplethat I would come in contact
with.
It wasn't even addicts oranything like that, but it was
just people that wasn't myassignment.
That's a better way of sayingit.
Because I was like, oh, I canhelp them.
(22:02):
You
SPEAKER_03 (22:03):
want to fix
SPEAKER_04 (22:03):
everything.
Yeah, and help people.
I mean, it would be churchpeople even.
You know what I mean?
And sometimes God would send meto them, and sometimes it was
like, wait, you don't have toanswer every call.
That's not your assignment.
They're not your assignment.
So then I had to pray, becausethen I would feel guilty.
Okay, Lord, we'll send somebodyto them.
That is their assignment.
And then when I started doingthat, there was peace.
(22:25):
Because...
You can't help everybody.
You can't.
And I remember my dad, he wouldsay this.
He says this all the time.
We can't help everybody, but wecan help somebody.
And so you have to discern,okay, Lord, who am I supposed to
let?
Is this a you thing?
Or is it me just wanting to dothis because I can make a check
on my little box that I'vehelped somebody today?
(22:47):
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (22:48):
Do you feel like sometimes you do it out of
guilt?
SPEAKER_04 (22:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
learning.
Yeah.
It took me a long time to...
not try to help everybody um myhusband when we first got
married we used to uh i'm notgonna say we would fight over
this but he would be verydisappointed in me like i'd be
going down the road it'd beraining and there'd be some
crazy guy walking down the roadin the rain and i'd stop and
(23:13):
pick him up you know and he'slike you can't do that by
yourself that's not safe it waslike But he didn't run.
Yeah.
You know, when I was walking inthe rain, I wish people would
have stopped and picked me up.
You know?
And he's like, but you're afemale.
SPEAKER_04 (23:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:32):
At 10 o'clock at night by yourself.
You know?
He's like, it's not safe.
And I'm like, well, I justbelieve God will take care of
me.
You know?
And everybody's like, I'm notscared to go anywhere.
Like, I will get in my car andgo anywhere I want to go.
UNKNOWN (23:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:47):
And everybody's like, that's not safe.
And I'm like, I'm going toprotect me.
If it's my time to go, it's mytime to go.
You know, I did something theother day and I was like, after
all the stuff I put in my body,that's not going to kill me.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
That's funny.
SPEAKER_00 (24:00):
You know, and they're like, what?
And I'm like, after all theplaces I've been, I didn't die.
Then it wasn't my time to go.
Right?
If it's my time to go, it's mytime to go.
But I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (24:12):
Let me just backtrack real quick.
Go ahead.
UNKNOWN (24:14):
I...
SPEAKER_04 (24:15):
I don't want people to think that we don't want to
help everybody.
It's not that.
It's just that you have to havediscernment and not get burnt
out.
SPEAKER_00 (24:23):
Well, you have to be able to deal with that, right?
Like you can't run on emptyand...
Because if you're running onempty, if your cup is empty, if
you're not fulfilled with yourspirit, if you're not fulfilled
with the grace of God, then youcan't help nobody.
No matter how hard you try tohelp them, you can't.
(24:44):
And that was what I had tolearn.
I would run myself down andnot...
That's why I do self-care now.
But I would run myself down andnot mentally...
be able to help somebody rightlike their chaos would overtake
my
SPEAKER_02 (25:00):
peace
SPEAKER_00 (25:01):
when it's their chaos and their chaos should
never overtake your peace rightwhen you're supposed to help
them and that's when that'swhere you have to learn to say
it's not that's not yourassignment
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
like
SPEAKER_00 (25:12):
you said right and that was hard for me too because
I think every toxic man I everdated was because I thought I
could fix them.
I thought I could
SPEAKER_04 (25:21):
help them.
There's another project.
SPEAKER_00 (25:22):
Right?
I can help you.
He just needs somebody to lovehim.
And really, I just neededsomebody to love me.
And Jesus was standing thereloving me the whole time.
And I didn't understand that.
And then, you know, making Godthe priority and not the backup.
SPEAKER_04 (25:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
Right?
And so...
And you see that a lot in theworld today, right?
Like, everybody, nobody wants totalk about God.
But boy, when something happens,they want you to pray for them,
right?
And I was talking to my boss theother day, and I want to share
(26:06):
this podcast with everybody,right?
But at work, I have to be verycautious because You know, if
the wrong person thinks I'mtrying to push my religion on
them, then they can report meand I can get fired, you know,
because religion is to protectthe status.
And, you know, and you have tobe very cautious in how you do
(26:27):
things nowadays.
And, but God just, I mean, hejust won't.
He just won't let it go, right?
Like we were talking about thezebra sitting on my chest.
I feel like the zebra has beensitting on my chest for a while
lately because he wants us totalk about it.
And when I start talking aboutit, I can't shut up.
I'm so excited about it.
(26:49):
I can't shut up.
SPEAKER_04 (26:52):
You know, it's funny that this is one of the habits
it says to do.
Consistent habits of spiritualmaintenance is making God the
priority, not the backup.
I actually had a conversationwith one of my daughters today
that I've been praying for.
She works with me, and she'sraised in church by my parents.
She knows.
And so when I got up thismorning, she had posted on
(27:14):
Facebook if there's any women'sBible studies.
And she don't go to church.
And she said, is there anywomen's Bible studies for single
moms?
And I was texting, and I waslike, you can come do it at your
mom's house.
You know what I mean?
Just letting her know thatthat's available.
And so today, I texted her.
I said, are you reallyinterested in going to a Bible
(27:36):
study?
And she was like, well, yeah.
So when she came to my desk, Isaid, so...
And I was telling her about thedifferent Bible studies we could
do.
I said, so what made you thinkthat, you know, because she's,
like I said, she's in churchright now.
And she said, well...
I'm just tired of coming to Godwhen I have problems, and that's
(28:00):
not fair to Him.
No, it's not.
And I was just like, well, thankyou, Lord, that you're letting
her see that.
And just like this, making Godthe priority, not the backup
plan, because she's goingthrough some things, and she was
like, I don't think it's fairthat I'm just coming to Him when
I have problems.
Well,
SPEAKER_00 (28:17):
and it's easy.
(28:46):
was not my first thought whenlife was in chaos.
He was not the first thing thatI went to.
When I got married, we builtthis house and I was still
working.
I was still a work in progress,which I'm still a work in
(29:06):
progress today.
But when it comes to my faith, Istill wasn't there.
I was there, but I wasn't thereI was there when I wanted to be
there, and I wasn't there when Ididn't want to be there.
But when we built the house, webuilt it from scotch, and I'd
ask the ladies from church tocome, and every two-by-four in
(29:27):
this house has a Bible versewrote on it.
I knew that we wanted to startour life, and we wanted to be
wrapped in God, and we wanted tobe wrapped in His arms and in
His faith.
My husband's like, that's weird.
I was like, I don't care.
(29:47):
But we did.
We came and we wrote Bibleverses all over every two by
four in this house before theyput anything up.
And I feel like that has, and Iguess because my life was so
chaotic before, like I lived inchaos before, that I feel safe
here.
I feel like I'm wrapped in hiscloth now.
(30:11):
because we did that right weprayed over it we wrote bible
verses uh we did a lot of thingsbecause at the end of the day
you have to start with thefoundation and build yourself up
you know um and that's highmaintenance to me you know you
have to you got to find thefoundation and then you build
(30:33):
yourself up and then you buildyourself to self-care to where
it's not high maintenance rightit's not about what we own it's
a about who owns us,
SPEAKER_04 (30:45):
if that makes sense.
I feel like if we keep ourspirit man in tune, it helps us
to stay in peace, to walk inpeace, and we don't feel as, I
don't know, like we're having tostrive or do things.
In John 15, it says, And abidemeans to remain, to dwell, to
(31:07):
stay connected.
I love that.
Stay connected.
It's so easy.
Stay connected.
Because you know when you'reunplugged.
You know when you'redisconnected.
Your whole household knows.
Everybody
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
knows.
Everybody knows.
You can
SPEAKER_04 (31:23):
look at me and know.
They can be like, what's wrongwith you today?
SPEAKER_00 (31:26):
Yeah, I'll come to work and they'll see them avoid
me.
They'll turn the opposite way.
But that's funny.
Staying connected and staying intime right now.
Everybody has a problem.
Everybody has a device.
Everybody has that device intheir face.
And a few weeks ago, not beforewe started this podcast, I
(31:48):
locked myself out of my phone.
And I was so impatient.
I ended up locking myself outfor seven days.
I couldn't receive phone calls,text messages, emails, nothing.
All my work stuff was on myphone, like nothing.
I couldn't do anything for sevendays.
That was probably the best sevendays I've had in a long time.
(32:08):
You know, it was a tad bitstressful because I couldn't
receive any emails from work andI wasn't, I couldn't be
connected to work for 24 hours.
But at the same time, it broughtme back to earth, right?
Because I, I had gotten to wherefirst thing I did every morning
when I got up, I was looking atmy emails at work.
I was looking at what theyshowed me, what they
(32:29):
accomplished the night before.
So I knew what I was walkinginto the next morning.
Before I took my shower, beforeI did anything, I was spending
10 or 15 minutes looking throughthat.
And before that, which everymorning before I hit my feet,
before I pray, I thank God.
I open my eyes before I ever getout of my bed.
I thank God for the day that I'mgoing to have and I do that.
(32:52):
But I used to read the, youknow, I have the Bible app and
it has a daily devotional orwhatever, right?
It's like 10 minutes.
It's nothing huge, but I used todo that every morning.
And then after I got ready, thenI checked my emails and I did
this and I did all the things.
(33:14):
But I had gotten to where Iwasn't doing that Bible devotion
every morning.
And so that seven days withoutit, when I got it back, it pops
up, right?
That app pops up and it waslike, you know, you haven't done
blah, blah, blah.
So I've been doing that and I'vebeen feeling more connected,
right?
(33:34):
Because I've been feeling lostin a moment of waiting.
I feel like for so long until westarted this podcast that I was
feeling
SPEAKER_04 (33:47):
dry
SPEAKER_00 (33:48):
and lost.
SPEAKER_04 (33:49):
You know, my dad, I brag on him all the time, but
this man literally, when he getsup in the morning, he spends two
or three hours in his quiet timereading his Bible and And, you
know, everybody don't have two,three hours.
And I'm grateful that he does.
And you can tell it in his walk.
(34:09):
You can tell, you can tell,like, and I'm like, man, Jesus,
I want some of that.
But am I willing to, you know,give up some stuff to, you know,
spruce up my spirit, man, alittle bit.
But, you know, and he carriessuch wisdom.
SPEAKER_03 (34:25):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (34:26):
You know, and so it's knowledge.
And we can all have that.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
We can.
SPEAKER_04 (34:29):
We can all have that.
SPEAKER_03 (34:30):
It's how much
SPEAKER_04 (34:31):
do we want it?
How much do we want it?
Because God's not just going topush it on us.
Yeah.
He's a sovereign God.
He's a gracious God.
And I feel like that, you know,we can just go to Him and be
like, all right, Lord, fill meup today.
Wow.
Tune me up, just like a car getstuned up.
You know, tune up my spirit,man.
You know, anything that's deadinside me that needs to be
(34:51):
resurrected, let it be.
UNKNOWN (34:54):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (34:55):
So here it says, real-life examples of high
maintenance with God, right?
We check in with God like asubscription we forgot to cancel
only when we need something,right?
And I don't understand that.
Like, I have the worst.
(35:15):
My husband gets so mad at me.
Because sometimes I'll subscribeto things and not even realize.
Yeah, me too.
And like cost money.
Yeah.
And not even, and he'll be like,why are you subscribing?
I wasn't subscribing to it.
I was just trying to figure itout.
You know, and then it says toask this, are we maintaining our
relationship with God the way wemaintain our nails, our hair,
(35:35):
and our homes?
SPEAKER_04 (35:37):
Are we keeping ourselves groomed or spirit man
groomed?
SPEAKER_00 (35:40):
Well, so, and I was thinking about this today
because, you know, I read overthis last night and I was
thinking about this today.
And every Wednesday, I knowyou're coming over.
So every Wednesday, I make sureall the dishes are in the
dishwasher.
I make sure the counters havebeen locked down.
I make sure the tables have beenlocked down.
I don't do that on Tuesday.
(36:01):
I don't do that on Monday.
You know, I may load thedishwasher Tuesday morning.
If I don't load it Monday night.
Or I may not load it untilWednesday when I know you're
coming.
SPEAKER_04 (36:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
Right?
Is that how we do God
SPEAKER_04 (36:16):
too?
Sometimes you're right.
SPEAKER_00 (36:18):
Is that how we do God too?
You know, we don't maintain it.
You need something.
But when somebody's coming over,then we're going to do it.
And I think I thought about thattoday.
That's
SPEAKER_03 (36:33):
good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:34):
My husband was laughing at me.
My husband was laughing at meearlier.
He said, you can't load thedishwasher in two days.
Honey, I didn't only load thedishwasher.
I locked the cabinets down.
And you don't even go to mykitchen.
SPEAKER_04 (36:45):
Yeah, you don't got to do that for me.
SPEAKER_00 (36:48):
Somebody's coming to my
SPEAKER_04 (36:49):
house.
My house.
SPEAKER_00 (36:50):
But
SPEAKER_04 (36:51):
that's how we do.
That's how we do.
I would do the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (36:54):
Yeah.
I mean, that's how we do.
So if we knew God was comingtonight, we would clean our
house.
If we didn't know he was comingtonight, would our house be
clean?
That's
SPEAKER_02 (37:03):
good.
SPEAKER_00 (37:04):
Right?
Would our house be clean?
You know, if God was coming tovisit tonight, you know, we had
the CEO of Walmart show up atone of our stores yesterday
afternoon.
Just flew in.
And usually you have...
a two or three day notice to beprepared.
And he walked into one of ourstores yesterday morning, no
clue, you know, and everybody'spanicking, right?
(37:27):
Because the CEO don't just walkinto your Walmart for no reason,
you know, and, but were weready?
We should be ready every day.
SPEAKER_02 (37:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:37):
Right.
if God come tomorrow, is yourhouse clean?
SPEAKER_02 (37:40):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_00 (37:41):
that's good.
And that's, you know, I thinkthat has a lot to do with being
high maintenance.
Is your spiritual maintenance asimportant as your outer
maintenance?
SPEAKER_04 (37:51):
It's good stuff.
Good stuff.
You know, I am grateful forthis, and it takes me back.
It makes me want to, and I feellike we shouldn't do it out of
guilt, be like, oh, I'm notspending enough time with God.
Oh, I got to do it one, two,three, or four, five, six.
No, do what works.
Like I said, it's not aboutreligion.
It's about relationship.
(38:13):
Right.
What does that look like?
My relationship with God maynot.
It definitely doesn't look likeKevin's.
Kevin's does totally differentfor me.
But you know what?
That works for him.
That's between him and God.
SPEAKER_00 (38:21):
Right.
You
SPEAKER_04 (38:21):
know what I mean?
And that works for him.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
Right.
And my relationship with God isnot like yours.
Or it's not like, you know, Iwish.
No.
No, I don't.
Because it's not me.
Right?
I started to say, I wish I couldbe like your dad and sit and
spend three hours in my Bibleevery day.
But that's not who I am.
That's not me, right?
It's like...
(38:43):
My husband gets so frustratedwith me.
So we were talking about acouple years ago, I needed a new
car.
And so my husband's like, I needyou to sit down and research
what kind of car you want, lookinto this, do that, do this.
And so a few weeks later, hecomes out and he's like, have
you researched it?
I'm like, no, I thought you weregoing to.
And he's like, but it's yourcar.
I'm like, yeah, but I was like,okay, whatever.
(39:05):
So I looked through some, I waslike, oh, I like this.
He goes, well, why do you likeit?
I was like, it's pretty.
He's like, no.
And at the end of the day,that's our relationship with
God.
I can't read my Bible every day.
I should probably read my Bible.
But when I need to read myBible, then He gives me what I
need.
It pops up on my app as thedevotion of the day.
(39:30):
They talk about it on the radiogoing to work.
I listen to the radio an hourand 20 minutes.
They talk about it on the radioand then you know, they'll say
something and I'll be like, oh,and then I'll have to go into my
app when I get to work and readthrough like whatever they were
talking about.
That's how I read my Bible everyday.
That's how, but I do pray everyday and I do talk with them
(39:53):
every day.
And I do ask for, you know, fordiscernment and I do ask for
leadership and for guidance andfor, you know, let me, let me
bless somebody today.
You know, I do do those kinds ofthings.
And back in the day, that wouldhave made me feel guilty as a
Christian, right?
Because you're supposed to checkthe boxes.
(40:15):
You're supposed to read.
I don't go to church everySunday, right?
Right now, in this time, I don'thave a group of people that I
spend every Sunday with.
And it's not for any reasonother than I just don't.
I just don't care and go, right?
(40:35):
I mean, I could easily come toyour dad's church.
That would be okay.
Crosspoint loved me, right?
I just, I felt so...
I was in this period of waitingfor so long.
I feel like I just...
just didn't feel right withanybody we talked about this the
other day like i've been lookingfor my people i don't know who
my people are i don't fit inwith drug addicts that are just
(40:58):
getting clean and i don't fit inwith people that went to church
24 hours a day seven days a weekand grew up for 40 years in
church i don't fit in with thosepeople either but why is that
you know So you have to set adaily time to spend time with
God, whether it's in themornings, at lunch break,
(41:19):
walking outside.
And it doesn't have to be threehours like your dad.
It doesn't have to be an hourand 20 minutes like my mom.
If it's 10 minutes here, 5minutes there, 40 minutes here,
he's going to love you with allof us.
SPEAKER_04 (41:34):
I think the main thing is just evaluating ourself
and saying, What do I need?
Yeah, what do I need?
And am I spending as much timeon the inside as I am the
outside?
Right.
Because I want that.
I want my spirit demand to be sostrong that when things come my
way, temptation comes my way,aggravation comes my way, I
(41:58):
don't get thrown off.
You know what I mean?
Because my spirit man is like,oh, no, we got this.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'm not going to get myfeelings.
We're going to work throughthis.
Yeah.
Because I've kept it maintained.
So if that's you today and youjust have been struggling with
how to maintain your spirit,man, I just encourage you to get
(42:19):
into your word and worship,whatever works for you.
That's just between you and God.
If you don't read your Bible, Iencourage you to read your Bible
and ask God to give you a hungerbecause for a long time it was
really hard for me to read.
I didn't understand it either.
I feel like, you know what?
I don't understand what I'mreading.
And so I really had to pray.
And my dad told me something oneday.
(42:40):
He was like, put yourself in it.
When you put yourself in there,make it personal.
And that was a game changer forme.
So when I read my Bible, I makeit personal.
Even the prayers, I put my namein it and I'll read it back out
in the Bible.
And I'll put my name in there.
And it's helped me a lot doingit that way.
But I just want to encourage youthat it's okay to have
(43:01):
self-care, and we want you to dothat, and it's a good thing.
But we also want to encourageyou to maintain your spirit,
man.
Keep being cleaned up.
So let's pray today.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (43:42):
So what does it mean to be spiritually high
maintenance?
We don't need to strive.
We need to abide.
Peace is the result of timespent with God.
If this blessed you today, shareit with the sister who needs the
reminder.
And if you're ready to tradeyour striving for spiritual
(44:02):
strength, you're walking thisjourney with you.
Truth and grace side by side.
Rooted in truth.
SPEAKER_04 (44:09):
Covered in grace.
Carried by faith.
Lord, we love you today.
We thank you for thisopportunity.
Lord, you just come together,God, as sisters.
(00:21):
Unrelated sisters, that's whatwe are.
But we thank you, God, thatyou're going to speak through us
today and that every word spokenwill bring truth and grace.
In Jesus' name, amen.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Amen.
Hey, ladies, and welcome back.
This is Unrelated Sisters Truthand Grace Conversation.
And today, we are digginginto...
SPEAKER_04 (00:41):
Wait, you didn't tell me who you are.
Oh, I
SPEAKER_00 (00:44):
forgot.
Who am
SPEAKER_04 (00:46):
I?
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (00:46):
your host, Shannon.
And I...
SPEAKER_04 (00:52):
Well, okay.
She's Shannon.
I'm Deb.
SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
And we are Unrelated Sisters Truth and Grace
Conversation.
SPEAKER_04 (00:59):
We are.
So today, I chose this topic onhigh maintenance because a few
months back, I was in thetanning bed because I like to
tan at least once a week.
And, you know, a lot of times Iuse that nine minutes that I'm
standing there to pray.
(01:21):
And it goes by faster if I'mpraying in the tanning bed.
So anyway, I was praying andtalking to the Lord about some
things.
And he asked me the question,are you high maintenance?
Because I guess I was thinkingabout being in the tanning bed,
obviously.
And I was like, well, Lord, youknow I am.
You know what I mean?
(01:42):
Pretty high maintenance, I liketo think.
And so then he asked me thisother question.
How is your spirit, man?
How maintenance is your spirit,man?
And I was like, ooh.
So that got me digging.
So I got to thinking about, andI started going, and I went
home, and I was looking up thedefinition of what being high
(02:03):
maintenance actually is.
And I think, and don't get mewrong, I think that having it
together, high maintenance isnot a bad thing, I don't think.
As long as you are doing it inmoderation.
Because I think that the Lordwants you to have nice things.
And wants you to, you know, tolook present.
(02:25):
If that's what you like.
You know what I mean?
But what are you doing it for?
You know what I mean?
And so, really, I don't know.
It got me to thinking about howmuch time I spend getting ready.
The money I spend.
You know, maybe getting hernails done and things to keep my
(02:47):
outward appearance.
And so I was like, why do I dothat?
Do I do it?
So, you know, I argue with Godsometimes.
And I'm like, well, God, I dothat because, you know, I just
like to.
But really, why do I do it?
Am I doing it because I'mcomparing?
You know, I see other women.
And is it like a comparisonthing you're trying to keep up?
(03:08):
You know what I mean?
And so really, I spend a lot oftime in the mornings.
I would say...
45 minutes, I guess, gettingready in the morning.
You know what I mean?
And I wear makeup every day.
I don't know, Shannon, are youhigh maintenance?
SPEAKER_00 (03:24):
So first of all, let's define high
SPEAKER_04 (03:27):
maintenance, right?
SPEAKER_00 (03:28):
So high maintenance in pulp culture right now,
right?
What it means is You hear it allthe time.
Oh, she's high maintenance.
But what does it really mean?
And what's it really about whenit comes to your spiritual
lives?
So high maintenance is demandinga lot of attention, money,
effort, or time.
Requiring a lot to be happy.
So you ask the question, why?
(03:52):
Why do you spend 45 minutesgetting ready every morning?
Or why do you feel like you'rehigh maintenance?
So I don't call it highmaintenance.
I get my nails done every twoweeks.
I get my hair done every fiveweeks.
I get a massage once a month.
I call that self-care, right?
(04:12):
But I don't do it for anybodybut myself, and I've not always
done it.
I just started doing it a fewyears ago when I realized that
self-care, right, that hour ofmassage once a month, I don't
have a phone on.
I don't have my watch on.
I lay there with my eyes closed,getting my massage, and that's
(04:35):
my moment, right?
To do, if I want to go to sleep,I go to sleep.
If I want to pray to God, I prayto God.
If I want to do it, I'll do it.
It's not high maintenance to me.
It's self-care, right?
Because you have to, as womenand as caregivers, it's hard to
find that moment of peace inyour life.
(04:57):
So, It's really why are youdoing high maintenance is what's
important.
Why do you get up and spend 45minutes getting ready every
morning?
Why?
Because I used to do it.
I used to get up every morningand put makeup on.
And I used to get up everymorning and spend 45 minutes
doing my hair and all of that.
And I don't do that anymore.
(05:17):
And here's why.
Because the one person thatneeds to know who I am and know
what my heart is, he knows.
And he doesn't care if I havemakeup on.
He doesn't care if my hair goespoof.
He doesn't care.
You know, I'm not saying youneed to get up and be like some
of those people at Walmart.
(05:37):
And everybody has seen thatwebsite.
I'm not saying that.
You need to have brushy hair.
You need to fix your hair.
You know, you need to...
Wash your face.
Well,
SPEAKER_04 (05:46):
I know you have brushy teeth and all
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
that.
Brushy teeth.
You know, you need to do allthat.
But if you like putting onmakeup, I don't like it.
I don't mind putting on themakeup.
I don't like coming home andhaving to clean it off.
Right?
I'll go to bed and then mypillow is covered in makeup
because I'm too lazy to wash it.
That's why I don't havecontacts.
Like, I don't want to deal withhaving to put them in every day.
I did have them one time.
(06:09):
I just didn't know what to doabout it.
So then I got my foundation.
UNKNOWN (06:12):
Okay.
SPEAKER_04 (06:12):
Well, I think this just resonated with me because
it is something that I'vestruggled with in my past, too.
And even carries on now, I'lljust be honest.
I like attention.
Even my husband, I'm like, I'm aneedy person, kind of.
Seriously.
You wouldn't think it.
(06:33):
Maybe you would.
I don't know.
Kevin will tell you I am.
But I think I have that.
I don't know.
I think I demand a lot ofattention.
Not as bad as I used to, themore that I'm growing in Christ.
And the more time I spend on myspirit, man, the less that
becomes.
But that was one of the thingsthe Lord, when I started
breaking it down, I was like,how much time are you spending
(06:56):
in your Bible?
And I think all the things thatwe do, the makeup, like you
said, the hair and the nails,that is definitely self-care.
But when you break it down tothe high maintenance, requiring
a lot of attention, effort,money, I feel like I would fall
in that category, maybe a 6 or7.
(07:18):
I was a 10, so I'm gettingbetter.
You know what I mean?
But what do we do it for?
You know what I mean?
At the end of the day, and whenI really started thinking about,
and I really started...
getting out of myself you knownot because i was full of myself
(07:38):
and if anybody follows me onfacebook you know i take a lot
of pictures i'm the selfie queenthey call it and a part of me is
like oh it's because i was inaddiction for so many years and
i didn't take pictures no i wanteverybody to see me you know
what i mean it's okay it's okayso um You know, the Lord really
(08:01):
was dealing with me on thosethings about maintaining my
spirit, man.
And what does that look like?
You know, we maintain our, likeyou're saying, our self-care,
and it's okay to do that.
You know what I mean?
You've got to have that balance.
But what's our spirit, man, looklike?
What's our inside look like?
SPEAKER_00 (08:19):
You know, and how do you separate it, right?
How do you separate your insidesfrom your outsides would be a
question that I would ask,right?
And I think that has a lot to dowith if you take care of the
outside, then it's easier tofulfill the inside, right?
(08:41):
Because at the end of the day,we constantly give to everybody
else.
We give to our kids.
We give to our job.
We give to our husband.
We give to our house.
We give to our cars.
We give, you know, I mean, Idon't know about you, but When
my party's an old change, myhusband says, take it to
Walmart, right?
He doesn't do it.
Or, you know, when I needsomething or when I need, you
(09:03):
know, my kid needs something,you know, first thing he does is
call me, right?
So at the end of the day, how dowe fulfill our cup?
And maybe it is taking selfies.
Maybe it is getting our nailsdone.
Maybe it is, right?
But...
What does God want?
He wants that relationship.
At the end of the day, it boilsdown to a relationship, right?
(09:27):
He wants you to talk to him.
He wants you to ask for things.
He wants you to thank him forthings.
No different than what we wantfrom our kids.
You know, as mothers, they'redifferent than what we want from
them.
And sometimes, you know, thereal meaning of high maintenance
is who are we trying to impress?
What does self-worth look like,right?
Because society today tells youthat you have to be 5'9", 118
(09:56):
pounds.
You know, it's always told usthat as kids growing up.
You had to wear designerclothes.
You had to wear, you know,certain tennis shoes.
You know, I remember being a kidand we shopped at Kmart and so
we were poor.
But nowadays it's even worse.
Like American Eagle andAeropostale and all of those,
(10:19):
those name brands, you know,most people can't afford that
stuff.
SPEAKER_04 (10:25):
Uh, I think a deeper meaning as well, Matt is, uh,
constantly this, this reallystuck out to me as I was
reading, going over thisoutline, constantly seeking
external validation, you knowwhat I mean?
And, and, um, you're going toget that.
Of course, I'm, Right.
SPEAKER_00 (11:05):
You know, it's not about religion.
It's about relationships.
But it's one of those thingslike, and I don't know if it was
me and you talking about this orif it was me and someone else
talking about this.
It was me and your mom at theWomen's Conference Saturday.
When I became a store managerthree years ago, I went into a
store that had had the samestore manager for over 15 years.
(11:29):
And he...
He kind of let the associates bewhoever they were, right?
And I'm not saying that I'm notdoing that, but out of respect
for my faith, when they areusing bad words, when they are
cussing and they are doing wordslike that, I would get on to
them like I would get on to mychild.
(11:50):
You know, you can talk howeveryou want to when you're outside
this building, but you're notgoing to talk like that in this
building, right?
Some people, that doesn't makethem feel comfortable.
I personally do not like that.
I feel like when every otherword out of your mouth is a cuss
word, it shows how ignorant youreally are.
If you can't have a conversationwithout saying a cuss word,
(12:11):
every other word, then you don'tneed to be having conversations.
As they have seen my faith, asthey have seen They didn't know
the Shannon before.
They just know the one that cameinto their building three years
ago.
Now, I come back the other dayfrom lunch, and they were like,
(12:35):
they have been looking for you.
And I was like, who is they?
And they were like, well, Kellyneeds prayer.
She's having a rough day, andthis one needs that.
And it just makes me smile toknow that they know if they need
prayer.
to come and just get that momentof peace, that they can knock on
my door and come and do that.
(12:55):
If they say a cuss word now,they apologize, right?
So they don't, it's not, theydon't snarl or look at me funny
anymore.
You know, used to they kind ofcross their eyes at me, or you
know how kids do, right?
And I treat them like my kids.
But they don't do that anymore.
And I believe that is part ofthe inner...
(13:20):
Maybe it's coming out.
But ask your mama.
13 years ago, 15 years ago, thatwas not me.
I went into her office one day,and I was being so ugly.
And not to her.
just out loud because i like toexpress myself out loud and she
(13:43):
looked at me and she goes idon't know who you think you are
but you're not going to be likethat in my office if you need to
be like that you need to gosomewhere else and i just kind
of looked at her like ladyyou're crazy right and
SPEAKER_04 (13:53):
that's my mom
SPEAKER_00 (13:54):
yes and don't get me wrong but uh and i believe after
that day that woman startedpraying for me and that's um
That's what got me to where I amtoday.
I think she's seen something inme after that, and I truly
believe that she started prayingfor me that day and that it
(14:15):
changed my life.
It changed my world.
But consistent habits is how youmaintain a spiritual
maintenance, right?
And what do you feel like issome of those healthy spiritual
habits that we need to have
SPEAKER_04 (14:30):
I think for me, and a lot of people is different,
but I love worship.
Worship is my go-to.
When I turn that worship musicon, and I do pray throughout the
day, and I do more now as I'mgrowing, but worship is where
it's at for me.
That's where I get in there, andI feel like I can just surrender
(14:53):
and let my spirit man comealive.
Because we get so...
caught up in doing things andtrying to keep up, for me, keep
up with everything, books,everything.
As a woman, we kind of lose thatsometimes.
(15:15):
And so when I get into myworship and I get into my prayer
time with the Lord, and I cantell, like in the mornings, if I
just skim over a verse in myBible app or Or if I really dig
in on the morning, I can tellthe difference.
I know.
Yeah, I can tell.
(15:36):
So that lets me know, you know,if I can keep my upkeep on the
Spirit, you know, set aside thattime, set aside, and I'm not
saying to be routine about it,you know, whatever the Lord,
because everybody's schedule isdifferent.
But I have noticed for me thatwhen I do that, when I set aside
that time and just, Lord, I'msetting aside this time for you
today.
You know, to build up my spiritand encourage myself in you.
(15:58):
Like David did.
David said he had, you know,David got in his quiet time and
he had encouraged himself beforethe Lord, you know.
And that's what we have to dosometimes.
And I think that a lot of timeswe do confuse our standards with
striving.
And, you know, as women we tryto be perfect and we strive to
do this and to do that.
And we lose sight of really whowe are.
(16:20):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (16:20):
yeah.
I agree.
You know, we talked about thatin the first one.
I talked about the movie, notknowing what eggs you like,
finding your worth in a man, youknow, in that relationship, but
finding your worth in God.
You know, so I am not thegreatest at reading my Bible
(16:41):
every day.
That is just, I've tried threetimes this year to do the Bible
in 365 days.
i can't get past all the peopleevery time i get to that every
time i get there i'm just like ican't listen to this anymore the
(17:01):
lineages of noah and abraham andit's been very hard to get past
that part for me um so and thatso and i don't want to read i
don't want to read books um iwas uh I was dyslexic in school,
but I wasn't diagnosed until Iwas a freshman in high school.
So I struggled all throughschool up until I was a
(17:25):
freshman.
And then I had a teacher thatnoticed and actually taught me
how to deal with that.
And so I'm not the best reader.
I'm not the best, you know, I'mnot the best speller.
I'm not the best at any of thatacademic part of it.
But me too is worship.
So I drive an hour and 20minutes to work every day.
(17:46):
And I'll drive an hour and 20minutes home every day.
And I've done it for threeyears.
And everybody's like, oh, you'regoing to get tired of that.
That has become my prayercloset, right?
That has become my time withGod.
And it's not every day, right?
Like it's not like some days,some days I'll think about work
going to work, right?
Some days, but when I do that,everything in work is gone.
(18:10):
all on fire when I get to workright but when I spend that hour
and 20 minutes going worshipingGod and praying to God and
talking to God and listening tothe stories that's where I heard
the story from the DJ at youknow in last week's podcast
listening to that you know andthey talk about Bible verses and
they read scripture from theBible and different things like
(18:32):
that that is when my day is justmy day you know
SPEAKER_04 (18:37):
and it's not that when you said that it's not that
um things changed at work likeit could be the same thing but
you're able to get through itand have peace
SPEAKER_00 (18:48):
yeah it's not it may still be on fire don't get me
wrong but
SPEAKER_04 (18:52):
you've already prepared yourself
SPEAKER_00 (18:53):
but the way but when i go in with that peace already
on me that it doesn't matterwhat's going on in the building
i can just deal with it we're atwhen i can't when i don't spend
time with god i can't deal withit
SPEAKER_04 (19:05):
I like the other one, number four, where it says
guarding your relationships.
That was huge for me becauseKevin used to get so mad at me
because I'm just a peopleperson, and I love everybody,
and I'm like, everybody's good.
And he's to the point, he'slike, no, Deb, he has very good
discernment.
Thank the Lord.
And he's like, no, everybody'snot on your team.
(19:26):
You can't let everybody in yourcircle.
And it took me a long timebecause I didn't want people to,
for one, I'm a people pleaser,or was, So I wanted to make
everybody happy, and so I wouldjust let everybody in my circle.
But I was always in my soul.
My inside was just not at peace,just out of place, out of order.
(19:49):
My whole life was chaos.
But it wasn't until I reallystarted, all right, Lord, I'm
going to set these boundaries,and not everybody can have
access to me.
And it's okay to say no.
It's okay.
It is okay.
It's okay.
SPEAKER_00 (20:02):
You still don't look like you believe that.
I'm trying.
If
SPEAKER_04 (20:05):
I say it, the more I say it, the
SPEAKER_00 (20:07):
more you're going to believe it.
SPEAKER_04 (20:08):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (20:10):
It is definitely okay to say no.
And that's part of coming out ofaddiction, I think.
I think that where a lot ofpeople fail when they're coming
out of addiction, when they'retrying to stay clean, is it's so
much easier to go back to thosepeople that you know than it is
to find new people.
(20:30):
And cutting yourself off,especially if you've done drugs
as long as we did, right?
I mean, I did drugs for 15years.
There only people knew were drugaddicts, right?
I didn't know any good peopleexcept for, like, my mom and my
sister.
And nobody wants to hang outwith your mom and your sister,
you know.
But cutting them off.
(20:53):
relationships you know off waswas the first thing oh
SPEAKER_04 (20:58):
yeah
SPEAKER_00 (20:58):
that i had to do you know and that included cutting
off my baby's uh my son's uh dadyou know because i got clean and
something in drugs when i foundwas pregnant he didn't and so
you know, I had to make achoice.
And I told him, you know, if youwant to get help and get clean,
you're welcome to be a part ofDylan's life.
(21:19):
And if you choose not to, then Iwill never come after you for
child support.
And I will never, you know, Iwill never bother you.
I will do it all on my own.
And I did it on my own.
Well, the family and God, I didit all on my own.
But That's part of growing theserelationships, and that's hard.
SPEAKER_04 (21:40):
And I don't really think it was even the people in
addiction.
Like, I was okay with cuttingthem off.
For me, people, unhealed peoplethat I would come in contact
with.
It wasn't even addicts oranything like that, but it was
just people that wasn't myassignment.
That's a better way of sayingit.
Because I was like, oh, I canhelp them.
(22:02):
You
SPEAKER_03 (22:03):
want to fix
SPEAKER_04 (22:03):
everything.
Yeah, and help people.
I mean, it would be churchpeople even.
You know what I mean?
And sometimes God would send meto them, and sometimes it was
like, wait, you don't have toanswer every call.
That's not your assignment.
They're not your assignment.
So then I had to pray, becausethen I would feel guilty.
Okay, Lord, we'll send somebodyto them.
That is their assignment.
And then when I started doingthat, there was peace.
(22:25):
Because...
You can't help everybody.
You can't.
And I remember my dad, he wouldsay this.
He says this all the time.
We can't help everybody, but wecan help somebody.
And so you have to discern,okay, Lord, who am I supposed to
let?
Is this a you thing?
Or is it me just wanting to dothis because I can make a check
on my little box that I'vehelped somebody today?
(22:47):
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (22:48):
Do you feel like sometimes you do it out of
guilt?
SPEAKER_04 (22:50):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
learning.
Yeah.
It took me a long time to...
not try to help everybody um myhusband when we first got
married we used to uh i'm notgonna say we would fight over
this but he would be verydisappointed in me like i'd be
going down the road it'd beraining and there'd be some
crazy guy walking down the roadin the rain and i'd stop and
(23:13):
pick him up you know and he'slike you can't do that by
yourself that's not safe it waslike But he didn't run.
Yeah.
You know, when I was walking inthe rain, I wish people would
have stopped and picked me up.
You know?
And he's like, but you're afemale.
SPEAKER_04 (23:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:32):
At 10 o'clock at night by yourself.
You know?
He's like, it's not safe.
And I'm like, well, I justbelieve God will take care of
me.
You know?
And everybody's like, I'm notscared to go anywhere.
Like, I will get in my car andgo anywhere I want to go.
UNKNOWN (23:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:47):
And everybody's like, that's not safe.
And I'm like, I'm going toprotect me.
If it's my time to go, it's mytime to go.
You know, I did something theother day and I was like, after
all the stuff I put in my body,that's not going to kill me.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
That's funny.
SPEAKER_00 (24:00):
You know, and they're like, what?
And I'm like, after all theplaces I've been, I didn't die.
Then it wasn't my time to go.
Right?
If it's my time to go, it's mytime to go.
But I don't know.
SPEAKER_04 (24:12):
Let me just backtrack real quick.
Go ahead.
UNKNOWN (24:14):
I...
SPEAKER_04 (24:15):
I don't want people to think that we don't want to
help everybody.
It's not that.
It's just that you have to havediscernment and not get burnt
out.
SPEAKER_00 (24:23):
Well, you have to be able to deal with that, right?
Like you can't run on emptyand...
Because if you're running onempty, if your cup is empty, if
you're not fulfilled with yourspirit, if you're not fulfilled
with the grace of God, then youcan't help nobody.
No matter how hard you try tohelp them, you can't.
(24:44):
And that was what I had tolearn.
I would run myself down andnot...
That's why I do self-care now.
But I would run myself down andnot mentally...
be able to help somebody rightlike their chaos would overtake
my
SPEAKER_02 (25:00):
peace
SPEAKER_00 (25:01):
when it's their chaos and their chaos should
never overtake your peace rightwhen you're supposed to help
them and that's when that'swhere you have to learn to say
it's not that's not yourassignment
SPEAKER_01 (25:12):
like
SPEAKER_00 (25:12):
you said right and that was hard for me too because
I think every toxic man I everdated was because I thought I
could fix them.
I thought I could
SPEAKER_04 (25:21):
help them.
There's another project.
SPEAKER_00 (25:22):
Right?
I can help you.
He just needs somebody to lovehim.
And really, I just neededsomebody to love me.
And Jesus was standing thereloving me the whole time.
And I didn't understand that.
And then, you know, making Godthe priority and not the backup.
SPEAKER_04 (25:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:41):
Right?
And so...
And you see that a lot in theworld today, right?
Like, everybody, nobody wants totalk about God.
But boy, when something happens,they want you to pray for them,
right?
And I was talking to my boss theother day, and I want to share
(26:06):
this podcast with everybody,right?
But at work, I have to be verycautious because You know, if
the wrong person thinks I'mtrying to push my religion on
them, then they can report meand I can get fired, you know,
because religion is to protectthe status.
And, you know, and you have tobe very cautious in how you do
(26:27):
things nowadays.
And, but God just, I mean, hejust won't.
He just won't let it go, right?
Like we were talking about thezebra sitting on my chest.
I feel like the zebra has beensitting on my chest for a while
lately because he wants us totalk about it.
And when I start talking aboutit, I can't shut up.
I'm so excited about it.
(26:49):
I can't shut up.
SPEAKER_04 (26:52):
You know, it's funny that this is one of the habits
it says to do.
Consistent habits of spiritualmaintenance is making God the
priority, not the backup.
I actually had a conversationwith one of my daughters today
that I've been praying for.
She works with me, and she'sraised in church by my parents.
She knows.
And so when I got up thismorning, she had posted on
(27:14):
Facebook if there's any women'sBible studies.
And she don't go to church.
And she said, is there anywomen's Bible studies for single
moms?
And I was texting, and I waslike, you can come do it at your
mom's house.
You know what I mean?
Just letting her know thatthat's available.
And so today, I texted her.
I said, are you reallyinterested in going to a Bible
(27:36):
study?
And she was like, well, yeah.
So when she came to my desk, Isaid, so...
And I was telling her about thedifferent Bible studies we could
do.
I said, so what made you thinkthat, you know, because she's,
like I said, she's in churchright now.
And she said, well...
I'm just tired of coming to Godwhen I have problems, and that's
(28:00):
not fair to Him.
No, it's not.
And I was just like, well, thankyou, Lord, that you're letting
her see that.
And just like this, making Godthe priority, not the backup
plan, because she's goingthrough some things, and she was
like, I don't think it's fairthat I'm just coming to Him when
I have problems.
Well,
SPEAKER_00 (28:17):
and it's easy.
(28:46):
was not my first thought whenlife was in chaos.
He was not the first thing thatI went to.
When I got married, we builtthis house and I was still
working.
I was still a work in progress,which I'm still a work in
(29:06):
progress today.
But when it comes to my faith, Istill wasn't there.
I was there, but I wasn't thereI was there when I wanted to be
there, and I wasn't there when Ididn't want to be there.
But when we built the house, webuilt it from scotch, and I'd
ask the ladies from church tocome, and every two-by-four in
(29:27):
this house has a Bible versewrote on it.
I knew that we wanted to startour life, and we wanted to be
wrapped in God, and we wanted tobe wrapped in His arms and in
His faith.
My husband's like, that's weird.
I was like, I don't care.
(29:47):
But we did.
We came and we wrote Bibleverses all over every two by
four in this house before theyput anything up.
And I feel like that has, and Iguess because my life was so
chaotic before, like I lived inchaos before, that I feel safe
here.
I feel like I'm wrapped in hiscloth now.
(30:11):
because we did that right weprayed over it we wrote bible
verses uh we did a lot of thingsbecause at the end of the day
you have to start with thefoundation and build yourself up
you know um and that's highmaintenance to me you know you
have to you got to find thefoundation and then you build
(30:33):
yourself up and then you buildyourself to self-care to where
it's not high maintenance rightit's not about what we own it's
a about who owns us,
SPEAKER_04 (30:45):
if that makes sense.
I feel like if we keep ourspirit man in tune, it helps us
to stay in peace, to walk inpeace, and we don't feel as, I
don't know, like we're having tostrive or do things.
In John 15, it says, And abidemeans to remain, to dwell, to
(31:07):
stay connected.
I love that.
Stay connected.
It's so easy.
Stay connected.
Because you know when you'reunplugged.
You know when you'redisconnected.
Your whole household knows.
Everybody
SPEAKER_00 (31:21):
knows.
Everybody knows.
You can
SPEAKER_04 (31:23):
look at me and know.
They can be like, what's wrongwith you today?
SPEAKER_00 (31:26):
Yeah, I'll come to work and they'll see them avoid
me.
They'll turn the opposite way.
But that's funny.
Staying connected and staying intime right now.
Everybody has a problem.
Everybody has a device.
Everybody has that device intheir face.
And a few weeks ago, not beforewe started this podcast, I
(31:48):
locked myself out of my phone.
And I was so impatient.
I ended up locking myself outfor seven days.
I couldn't receive phone calls,text messages, emails, nothing.
All my work stuff was on myphone, like nothing.
I couldn't do anything for sevendays.
That was probably the best sevendays I've had in a long time.
(32:08):
You know, it was a tad bitstressful because I couldn't
receive any emails from work andI wasn't, I couldn't be
connected to work for 24 hours.
But at the same time, it broughtme back to earth, right?
Because I, I had gotten to wherefirst thing I did every morning
when I got up, I was looking atmy emails at work.
I was looking at what theyshowed me, what they
(32:29):
accomplished the night before.
So I knew what I was walkinginto the next morning.
Before I took my shower, beforeI did anything, I was spending
10 or 15 minutes looking throughthat.
And before that, which everymorning before I hit my feet,
before I pray, I thank God.
I open my eyes before I ever getout of my bed.
I thank God for the day that I'mgoing to have and I do that.
(32:52):
But I used to read the, youknow, I have the Bible app and
it has a daily devotional orwhatever, right?
It's like 10 minutes.
It's nothing huge, but I used todo that every morning.
And then after I got ready, thenI checked my emails and I did
this and I did all the things.
(33:14):
But I had gotten to where Iwasn't doing that Bible devotion
every morning.
And so that seven days withoutit, when I got it back, it pops
up, right?
That app pops up and it waslike, you know, you haven't done
blah, blah, blah.
So I've been doing that and I'vebeen feeling more connected,
right?
(33:34):
Because I've been feeling lostin a moment of waiting.
I feel like for so long until westarted this podcast that I was
feeling
SPEAKER_04 (33:47):
dry
SPEAKER_00 (33:48):
and lost.
SPEAKER_04 (33:49):
You know, my dad, I brag on him all the time, but
this man literally, when he getsup in the morning, he spends two
or three hours in his quiet timereading his Bible and And, you
know, everybody don't have two,three hours.
And I'm grateful that he does.
And you can tell it in his walk.
(34:09):
You can tell, you can tell,like, and I'm like, man, Jesus,
I want some of that.
But am I willing to, you know,give up some stuff to, you know,
spruce up my spirit, man, alittle bit.
But, you know, and he carriessuch wisdom.
SPEAKER_03 (34:25):
Yes.
SPEAKER_04 (34:26):
You know, and so it's knowledge.
And we can all have that.
SPEAKER_03 (34:29):
We can.
SPEAKER_04 (34:29):
We can all have that.
SPEAKER_03 (34:30):
It's how much
SPEAKER_04 (34:31):
do we want it?
How much do we want it?
Because God's not just going topush it on us.
Yeah.
He's a sovereign God.
He's a gracious God.
And I feel like that, you know,we can just go to Him and be
like, all right, Lord, fill meup today.
Wow.
Tune me up, just like a car getstuned up.
You know, tune up my spirit,man.
You know, anything that's deadinside me that needs to be
(34:51):
resurrected, let it be.
UNKNOWN (34:54):
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (34:55):
So here it says, real-life examples of high
maintenance with God, right?
We check in with God like asubscription we forgot to cancel
only when we need something,right?
And I don't understand that.
Like, I have the worst.
(35:15):
My husband gets so mad at me.
Because sometimes I'll subscribeto things and not even realize.
Yeah, me too.
And like cost money.
Yeah.
And not even, and he'll be like,why are you subscribing?
I wasn't subscribing to it.
I was just trying to figure itout.
You know, and then it says toask this, are we maintaining our
relationship with God the way wemaintain our nails, our hair,
(35:35):
and our homes?
SPEAKER_04 (35:37):
Are we keeping ourselves groomed or spirit man
groomed?
SPEAKER_00 (35:40):
Well, so, and I was thinking about this today
because, you know, I read overthis last night and I was
thinking about this today.
And every Wednesday, I knowyou're coming over.
So every Wednesday, I make sureall the dishes are in the
dishwasher.
I make sure the counters havebeen locked down.
I make sure the tables have beenlocked down.
I don't do that on Tuesday.
(36:01):
I don't do that on Monday.
You know, I may load thedishwasher Tuesday morning.
If I don't load it Monday night.
Or I may not load it untilWednesday when I know you're
coming.
SPEAKER_04 (36:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (36:14):
Right?
Is that how we do God
SPEAKER_04 (36:16):
too?
Sometimes you're right.
SPEAKER_00 (36:18):
Is that how we do God too?
You know, we don't maintain it.
You need something.
But when somebody's coming over,then we're going to do it.
And I think I thought about thattoday.
That's
SPEAKER_03 (36:33):
good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:34):
My husband was laughing at me.
My husband was laughing at meearlier.
He said, you can't load thedishwasher in two days.
Honey, I didn't only load thedishwasher.
I locked the cabinets down.
And you don't even go to mykitchen.
SPEAKER_04 (36:45):
Yeah, you don't got to do that for me.
SPEAKER_00 (36:48):
Somebody's coming to my
SPEAKER_04 (36:49):
house.
My house.
SPEAKER_00 (36:50):
But
SPEAKER_04 (36:51):
that's how we do.
That's how we do.
I would do the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (36:54):
Yeah.
I mean, that's how we do.
So if we knew God was comingtonight, we would clean our
house.
If we didn't know he was comingtonight, would our house be
clean?
That's
SPEAKER_02 (37:03):
good.
SPEAKER_00 (37:04):
Right?
Would our house be clean?
You know, if God was coming tovisit tonight, you know, we had
the CEO of Walmart show up atone of our stores yesterday
afternoon.
Just flew in.
And usually you have...
a two or three day notice to beprepared.
And he walked into one of ourstores yesterday morning, no
clue, you know, and everybody'spanicking, right?
(37:27):
Because the CEO don't just walkinto your Walmart for no reason,
you know, and, but were weready?
We should be ready every day.
SPEAKER_02 (37:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:37):
Right.
if God come tomorrow, is yourhouse clean?
SPEAKER_02 (37:40):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_00 (37:41):
that's good.
And that's, you know, I thinkthat has a lot to do with being
high maintenance.
Is your spiritual maintenance asimportant as your outer
maintenance?
SPEAKER_04 (37:51):
It's good stuff.
Good stuff.
You know, I am grateful forthis, and it takes me back.
It makes me want to, and I feellike we shouldn't do it out of
guilt, be like, oh, I'm notspending enough time with God.
Oh, I got to do it one, two,three, or four, five, six.
No, do what works.
Like I said, it's not aboutreligion.
It's about relationship.
(38:13):
Right.
What does that look like?
My relationship with God maynot.
It definitely doesn't look likeKevin's.
Kevin's does totally differentfor me.
But you know what?
That works for him.
That's between him and God.
SPEAKER_00 (38:21):
Right.
You
SPEAKER_04 (38:21):
know what I mean?
And that works for him.
SPEAKER_00 (38:23):
Right.
And my relationship with God isnot like yours.
Or it's not like, you know, Iwish.
No.
No, I don't.
Because it's not me.
Right?
I started to say, I wish I couldbe like your dad and sit and
spend three hours in my Bibleevery day.
But that's not who I am.
That's not me, right?
It's like...
(38:43):
My husband gets so frustratedwith me.
So we were talking about acouple years ago, I needed a new
car.
And so my husband's like, I needyou to sit down and research
what kind of car you want, lookinto this, do that, do this.
And so a few weeks later, hecomes out and he's like, have
you researched it?
I'm like, no, I thought you weregoing to.
And he's like, but it's yourcar.
I'm like, yeah, but I was like,okay, whatever.
(39:05):
So I looked through some, I waslike, oh, I like this.
He goes, well, why do you likeit?
I was like, it's pretty.
He's like, no.
And at the end of the day,that's our relationship with
God.
I can't read my Bible every day.
I should probably read my Bible.
But when I need to read myBible, then He gives me what I
need.
It pops up on my app as thedevotion of the day.
(39:30):
They talk about it on the radiogoing to work.
I listen to the radio an hourand 20 minutes.
They talk about it on the radioand then you know, they'll say
something and I'll be like, oh,and then I'll have to go into my
app when I get to work and readthrough like whatever they were
talking about.
That's how I read my Bible everyday.
That's how, but I do pray everyday and I do talk with them
(39:53):
every day.
And I do ask for, you know, fordiscernment and I do ask for
leadership and for guidance andfor, you know, let me, let me
bless somebody today.
You know, I do do those kinds ofthings.
And back in the day, that wouldhave made me feel guilty as a
Christian, right?
Because you're supposed to checkthe boxes.
(40:15):
You're supposed to read.
I don't go to church everySunday, right?
Right now, in this time, I don'thave a group of people that I
spend every Sunday with.
And it's not for any reasonother than I just don't.
I just don't care and go, right?
(40:35):
I mean, I could easily come toyour dad's church.
That would be okay.
Crosspoint loved me, right?
I just, I felt so...
I was in this period of waitingfor so long.
I feel like I just...
just didn't feel right withanybody we talked about this the
other day like i've been lookingfor my people i don't know who
my people are i don't fit inwith drug addicts that are just
(40:58):
getting clean and i don't fit inwith people that went to church
24 hours a day seven days a weekand grew up for 40 years in
church i don't fit in with thosepeople either but why is that
you know So you have to set adaily time to spend time with
God, whether it's in themornings, at lunch break,
(41:19):
walking outside.
And it doesn't have to be threehours like your dad.
It doesn't have to be an hourand 20 minutes like my mom.
If it's 10 minutes here, 5minutes there, 40 minutes here,
he's going to love you with allof us.
SPEAKER_04 (41:34):
I think the main thing is just evaluating ourself
and saying, What do I need?
Yeah, what do I need?
And am I spending as much timeon the inside as I am the
outside?
Right.
Because I want that.
I want my spirit demand to be sostrong that when things come my
way, temptation comes my way,aggravation comes my way, I
(41:58):
don't get thrown off.
You know what I mean?
Because my spirit man is like,oh, no, we got this.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'm not going to get myfeelings.
We're going to work throughthis.
Yeah.
Because I've kept it maintained.
So if that's you today and youjust have been struggling with
how to maintain your spirit,man, I just encourage you to get
(42:19):
into your word and worship,whatever works for you.
That's just between you and God.
If you don't read your Bible, Iencourage you to read your Bible
and ask God to give you a hungerbecause for a long time it was
really hard for me to read.
I didn't understand it either.
I feel like, you know what?
I don't understand what I'mreading.
And so I really had to pray.
And my dad told me something oneday.
(42:40):
He was like, put yourself in it.
When you put yourself in there,make it personal.
And that was a game changer forme.
So when I read my Bible, I makeit personal.
Even the prayers, I put my namein it and I'll read it back out
in the Bible.
And I'll put my name in there.
And it's helped me a lot doingit that way.
But I just want to encourage youthat it's okay to have
(43:01):
self-care, and we want you to dothat, and it's a good thing.
But we also want to encourageyou to maintain your spirit,
man.
Keep being cleaned up.
So let's pray today.
Amen.
SPEAKER_00 (43:42):
So what does it mean to be spiritually high
maintenance?
We don't need to strive.
We need to abide.
Peace is the result of timespent with God.
If this blessed you today, shareit with the sister who needs the
reminder.
And if you're ready to tradeyour striving for spiritual
(44:02):
strength, you're walking thisjourney with you.
Truth and grace side by side.
Rooted in truth.
SPEAKER_04 (44:09):
Covered in grace.
Carried by faith.
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