June 27, 2025 • 52 mins
Why do we compare ourselves to the world? Why do we feel like we'll never be pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough? In this powerful, grace-soaked episode, we're pulling back all the curtain on comparison and insecurity. From Instagram filters to highlight reels, to many of us-especially our daughters, sons and little sisters and brothers-are drowning in lies about who they are.
Today, we're confronting those lies with God's truth.
Tips for woman of Faith:
: Speak life over young people- Daily
: Call out gifts and purpose, not just appearance.
: Be transparent about our own struggles
: Lead them to Gods word, not just compliments
Bible verse:
Proverbs 31:25
Speak affirmation:
" I am chosen, known, and loved by God. I am enough
Music:
The Truth; Megan Woods
Desperate; Jamie MacDonald
Flowers; Samantha Ebert
Prayer:
Thank you Jesus, for knowing my name. Thank you Jesus, for loving me where I am. Thank you Jesus, for I am enough. Thank you Jesus, for choosing me. Thank you Jesus, for loving me and giving me one more day to love you. Be thankful when you pray.
We want this to be truly interactive podcast. Please go in the fan mail at
https://unrelatedsisterspodcast.buzzsprout.com and tell us your stories and let us know if it’s okay to share (no names). Let us know if you need prayer or how we can support you in your journey. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. Follow us on Facebook @Unrelated Sister's: Truth & Grace Conversation Podcast or Email us at unrelatedsisterspodcast@gmail.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Amen.
Amen.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
Hey family, welcome back to Unrelated Sisters Truth
and Grace Conversation.
I'm your host Shannon and I'mhere with my ride or die sister
in cross, Deb.
Hey y'all, today we're divinginto something that's been
messing with women and men orgirls and boys for way too long.
Comparison and not feeling goodenough.
(00:46):
This is for anyone who's everlooked in the mirror and said,
why can't I look like them?
Or scroll through Instagramthinking, I'll never have a life
like that.
Sis, it's time to call thoselies out and replace them with
God's truth.
How do we build a strongfoundation for the future
generations?
(01:08):
Why do we compare ourselves towhat we see in the world?
And why do we feel like we arenever be pretty enough, smart
enough, or good enough?
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
Comparison's real.
SPEAKER_01 (01:22):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
it is.
That's probably one of thebiggest things.
And we say, oh, we loveourselves just the way we are.
But do we?
Like, listen, I'm trying to growmy hair out.
And so it's a whole mess.
And so I'm like, I want my hairlong.
You know what I mean?
Like, I want long hair.
But it's so hard.
And so, like, I see otherpeople's hair.
And their hair is so pretty.
And they can pull it back and itlooks cute.
(01:44):
And I feel like I pull my hairback and I look like a boy.
You know what I mean?
But listen, I'm trying to becomfortable with it.
And this morning I didn't wearmakeup to church, but I did have
on fake lashes.
And so I'm like, what do I evendo that for anyway?
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
I mean, I like to feel good, butI feel like we do just compare
(02:04):
ourselves and think that we haveto look like this or we have to
look a certain way.
I mean, my nickname at work, thegirls call me Barbie at work.
SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
I can see that.
SPEAKER_00 (02:15):
they're like one of the girls that the morning we
came in really really early andsecond shift was still there
they work till uh like five inthe morning and she was like how
do you get up and look like thatevery day i'm like listen i'm
trying to do better because icould spend more time spending
time with god or doing somethingelse you know i mean if i didn't
spend an hour getting readyevery day but we why do i do
(02:38):
that i don't know
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
I don't even put makeup on.
It
SPEAKER_00 (02:41):
still takes me an hour to get ready every day.
I know, but I'm trying to get towhere I don't and trying to be,
like, okay with who I am.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (02:49):
Yeah, but it's a process.
It is.
SPEAKER_00 (02:51):
It's a process.
I'm getting there.
SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
Right?
Because I remember coming homefor Christmas one year and...
am not i've never been a smallperson right i you know i don't
remember ever wearing a sizezero or size two pants right i
remember being in school wearinglittle girls clothes and then i
(03:12):
wear or like 11 12 13 14 rightso i've never been small my you
know i'm big boned
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
that's right
SPEAKER_01 (03:21):
you know me too uh But I remember coming home on
Christmas after being on methfor several years.
And my mama kept this video.
They videoed the Christmas thatmorning.
And she showed it to me later.
And I weighed 102 pounds.
102 pounds.
(03:44):
Lord mercy.
I ain't never weighed less than140 that I can remember.
But I weighed 102 pounds.
UNKNOWN (03:51):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
I was dressed in clothes that I would never dare
wear, right?
And it's not because I'm a biggirl.
It's because women shouldn'trepresent themselves that
SPEAKER_02 (04:07):
way,
SPEAKER_01 (04:08):
right?
And I believe that, right?
I believe that you should bemodest in your clothing, and I
believe that you should be– youcan look nice and sexy and look
respectable, right?
But when she showed me thisvideo, my face– My eyeballs are
stuck into my head.
You know, my hair is thin andstringy.
My hair has never been thin andstringy.
(04:29):
It's always been thick andcurly, but it's thin and it's
stringy, you know, and I've goton, I've got on like three tons
of makeup, right?
Just trying to hide the darkeyes and all the mess.
And I cried when she, when Icome home, and was trying to get
(04:50):
clean, she showed me that video.
I cried.
People let me walk aroundlooking like that.
We thought we looked good.
And I thought I looked good.
Oh, yeah, I did.
And it just, you know, when Ifinally did get clean, nine
(05:12):
months pregnant, I only weighed162 pounds.
nine months pregnant.
When Dylan was born, I weighed162 pounds.
I weighed 118 when I gotpregnant with him.
So I gained a lot of weight.
You just couldn't tell I gaineda lot of weight because I should
have never been that size tostart with, right?
That's not healthy for me.
(05:32):
But talking about comparison,when I watched that video, I
realized right then and therethat if people who love me or
was my friend was going to letme walk around in the world
looking that way, then they,nobody cares about the way I
look.
(05:53):
Nobody cares.
I'm serious.
Like nobody cares if I look likeI wrote out of the bed.
Now they might whisper about meand they might talk about me,
but at the end of the day,that's just because I got
nothing else better to do.
Nobody cares.
I quit worrying about whatpeople thought the day I watched
that video.
It was awful.
(06:14):
And I'm still, like, it stilljust blows my mind that people
let me be around in the world.
Like, I was getting high with mydaddy.
And my daddy never said nothingabout me looking that way.
But now that I think about it,it's because he looked that way,
too.
SPEAKER_00 (06:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
We all look the same.
We didn't care, you know.
My daddy did teach me to eat onmeth, right?
Like, I'd go home forThanksgiving dinner and sit down
and eat a seven-course meal.
And then go back home and gethigh.
So, I don't know.
But comparison is truly real,right?
(06:51):
It is so real.
In this powerful grace-soakedepisode, we're going to pull
back the curtains on comparisonand insecurities.
Let's get honest.
Comparison is everywhere.
Social media, TV, the workplace,even at church.
SPEAKER_02 (07:09):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (07:09):
right?
It is so easy to fall into thetrap.
The enemy will targetinsecurities that we have placed
in a box in the back of ourheart or mind.
Remember that, that time when,um, when, you know, when you,
the box.
So that movie, there's themovie, um, oh, what's the movie?
(07:30):
Inside Out, right?
And they, it shows all thelittle girls' emotions, right?
Well, in Inside Out 2, they are,it shows where the emotion that
had been trying to protect herher whole life from anything
that was going to be sad hadbeen storing them in a box and
just putting them out of theway.
(07:50):
So she had never dealt withdisappointment.
She had never dealt with, youknow, with anything sad.
She had never dealt with thoseraw emotions.
She'd always just been happy andjoyful, the little girl had
been.
And now that she was a teenager,you know, those boxes were...
leaking into into the thing andyou sit and you think about it
(08:14):
right you sit and think aboutdriving down the road and one of
those boxes leak right and thenand that's where we come in at
that's where the enemy starts totarget our insecurities you know
um I know my biggest insecurityis a bad mom, right?
You know, the relationship thatI've had with my son in the
(08:36):
years, that one still grabs ahold of me sometimes.
It's easy to fall into thattrap, you know, because I'm
really good to the broken peopleat work.
You know, I really am.
I'm really good to the peoplethat I see now that are broken,
but I wasn't good when he was akid.
And so I compare myself to othermoms, right?
(09:00):
Like my sister, she's alwaysbeen, she had twins to start
with.
She's got a third now.
You know, he just turned 11.
Her girls are amazing, right?
Like they're self-efficient.
They're very smart.
They're very intelligent.
She's done a really good jobwith her kids.
(09:23):
They're well-rounded, right?
But she was there, right?
She was there physically andemotionally.
And, you know, sometimes I wishthat could be me.
Yeah.
I wish that could be me.
Yeah.
You know, but she was raised inthe same house I was raised in.
(09:44):
She just made better choicesthan I
SPEAKER_02 (09:46):
did.
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
You know, and at the end of the day, when we're
comparing ourselves to otherpeople or we find out these
insecurities, do we have thosebecause of choices we make?
SPEAKER_00 (09:58):
A lot of my things stem from it.
And for me, I used to comparemyself.
We've talked about this beforeto my brothers.
You know, they're verysuccessful and they're very, I
feel like they have a reallygood relationship with the Lord
or they're maybe in a differentspot than I am.
And so I finally, when I finallyrealized that their walk is not
(10:21):
the same walk as mine, we're onthe same path that you were
talking about earlier, but ourcallings are different.
Right.
My youngest brother can play thekeyboard like nobody's business.
He plays at Crosspoint.
My other brother, Pastors, canplay, sing.
My next oldest brother, hedrives a truck.
He can play any instrument youcan think of.
(10:43):
Pick it up and play it.
Just never had a lesson in hislife.
And I feel like I struggle to doanything right a lot of times.
You know what I mean?
I used to feel that way.
I'm getting a lot better now.
And so...
When I finally realized that, Ican't compare myself to them.
Their walk is their walk.
I made choices, like you said,that got me to where I'm at
(11:04):
today.
I remember Michael told Mom thatone time.
He was like, Mom, quit beatingyourself up.
We was all raised in the samehouse, under the same roof.
She made her choices.
We made ours.
This is where we're at.
But there's people that I canreach that they may not ever
reach.
There's people that they canreach that I may not ever reach.
(11:24):
But together...
We all play a part.
We all have gifts.
We all have call-ins.
I would love to be able to sitin and play the piano and sing
like they do.
But what I can do is sit with anaddict or somebody that's lost
their kids in defects or youknow some people that's
(11:48):
overdosed or you know somepeople that struggle with
depression and i can sit rightthere with them some people
that's been in prison or jail ican sit there with them
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
and we can lead it we can show them that there's
hope
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
yeah
SPEAKER_01 (12:02):
right i remember you know
SPEAKER_00 (12:06):
um
SPEAKER_01 (12:07):
When I was starting back with my faith and stuff, I
remember going to church andbeing like, well, I can do that.
Okay, so I joined a small group,but I didn't fit in, right?
And it's not that they didanything that made me feel like
I didn't fit in.
It's not that they didn't, youknow, not make me feel like I
(12:29):
fit in.
It was never them.
It was always me, you know.
The church, you know, the pastorwould ask me to, you know, come
up on stage and share mytestimony.
And I gladly did that and stuff.
But then after I would do it, Iwould feel shame, right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
So the enemy works.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
Yeah, like I would go up and I would share my
testimony.
And the testimony is amazing,right?
I mean, where I came from.
But I would feel shame.
And it was so hard starting out.
right when i was still dealingright because i hadn't dealt
with all of the insecurities ori hadn't dealt with all the
shame or all the guilt or all ofthe different things that i had
(13:11):
felt i just remember comparingmy journey to other people's
like why why can't i hear himright like it's not like i woke
up one morning and god waswhispering in my ears right he
may have been But my heartwasn't ready to let him in.
Not fully.
(13:32):
Right?
We were ready to let him stopby.
Yeah.
Right?
We wanted him
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
to listen.
But we weren't fullysurrendered.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
But we weren't fully surrendered.
So I couldn't hear him eventhough I wanted to.
But you have to fully surrender.
And you have to start to, youhave to dig deep.
There's wounds in there.
There's insecurities in therethat you have to dig deep.
You know?
You may not realize that it's aninsecurity until God says, hey,
(13:57):
psst.
That's got to go away.
Yeah.
You know, it says in Romans 12,6, we have different gifts
according to the grace given toeach of us.
SPEAKER_00 (14:08):
Yeah.
To each of us.
SPEAKER_01 (14:10):
To each of us.
That's our story.
SPEAKER_00 (14:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:12):
That's our story.
Your story is your differentgift.
You know?
you and it doesn't matter whatyour story is it doesn't matter
what it is it doesn't matter ifyou grew up in church every
sunday and you did this or youdid that there's a story there's
a story maybe you've beenmarried to your husband for 60
(14:34):
years that's a story worthtelling i Pray every day that me
and my husband make it to six
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
years.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (14:45):
You know, I don't want to be one of those that
fell at marriage.
I mean, I didn't get marrieduntil I was 37 years old.
I was 100% sure he was the one,right?
I've been engaged two or threetimes.
I even had the dress, bought theinvitations.
(15:06):
filled them all out, boughtstamps for all of the wedding
invitations, and went to thepost office to sit in my car and
cry for two hours because Icouldn't get out to go mail
them.
And he was a good guy.
He was nice to me.
He was good to Dylan.
Right?
He didn't hit me.
He didn't yell at me.
He didn't cuss me.
Shh.
(15:26):
I loved him.
Mm-hmm.
Not really.
But he was a good guy.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:31):
Right?
And that's all I wanted wassomebody to be good to me.
UNKNOWN (15:35):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (15:36):
And then one day I realized that the only thing
that needed to be good to me wasGod.
And that was a hard realizationbecause I compared myself to my
sister, her husband, and theirmarriage, and their children,
and their home, and their nicecars, and
SPEAKER_02 (15:54):
their...
SPEAKER_01 (15:56):
I was barely making the bills.
I had to move back in with mymama so that I could afford to
feed my kid.
That's embarrassing.
That's embarrassing.
At 28 years old, to have to moveback in with your mom just so
you can feed your kid.
SPEAKER_00 (16:13):
I did that, but I was like a boomerang.
SPEAKER_01 (16:21):
So it was hard.
It was hard.
And it was hard to let go ofthat.
It was hard to let go of that.
I felt like for a long time thatI started out as a failure as a
mom.
I wasn't married.
He didn't have a daddy.
His daddy didn't stay around.
He didn't have a daddy.
(16:41):
We had to move back home.
I had to move back home.
He was sleeping in a bassinet inthe bedroom that I grew up in
just to be able to afford tofeed him.
I worked a job, but I had tomake decisions and sacrifices in
the way.
I always swore.
(17:04):
when I got clean, that I wouldnever let anything or anyone
make me feel lesser than.
But I truly did not come out ofthat insecurity until I gave it
all to God.
I felt lesser than the whole
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
time.
SPEAKER_01 (17:23):
Even going to church, even sharing my story,
the devil would have weight.
And I helped people.
Like, there was peoplestruggling.
You know, there was youngerpeople struggling, you know, and
we'd talk them into going tochurch with us.
And I put on that perfectfacade, right?
I was happy all the time, andlife was perfect.
And behind closed doors, and I'dbring my car, they were
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
gone.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
You know, and those insecurities, and that
comparison, and that wanting tobe one person and truly being
somebody else is...
what women and men both need tosolve.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
Yeah, it's exhausting.
SPEAKER_01 (18:01):
It is so exhausting.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
You know, I think a lot, too, for me, I think a lot
of my insecurities came from, Iwas in a lot of abusive
relationships, a lot.
And it was almost like I was amagnet to these men.
Oh, yeah.
A literal magnet.
And not only do the It was a lotof physical abuse, but a lot of
mental and emotional abuse.
(18:25):
And I think a lot of times whenyou go through that, you know,
you are beat down.
When they're telling you allthat you're this and you're that
and you'll never be.
Nobody ever wants you.
You're not good enough.
And you start believing thoselies.
You do.
And we talked about this on oneof the other episodes.
I literally had to speak thosethings out.
That I come out of agreementthat I'm not enough.
(18:47):
I come out of agreement with thelie that I'm ugly or that I'll
never be nothing.
But it's not just you wake upand it just happens.
No.
Because you think, well, I'mgood and then something will
happen.
And you're like, why am Ifeeling like this?
Well, because you believe in thelie of the enemy.
You're not believing the truthabout yourself.
(19:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
Well, you know, underneath comparison, there's a
lot of deeper wounds.
I remember the first guy that Idated that hit me.
The first time he hit me, Ithought, excuse you?
I wouldn't raise like that.
This ain't happening.
And then he didn't hit me.
He apologized, and he was verysad and very whatever.
(19:30):
And he didn't hit me for a longtime after that.
But by the time he hit me thesecond time, he convinced me to
move out of state.
I was living in a place I didn'tknow anybody but him and his
mama, living with his mama,taking care of his mama for him.
(19:53):
And...
We would go to bed at night, andhe would sleep with a knife
under his pillow.
And I remember laying therethinking, if I could just get my
hands on that.
If I could just get my hands onthat pillow, he'd never touch me
again.
SPEAKER_02 (20:08):
You
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
know, if I could just get my hands on that
pillow.
But I was so nervous.
It's not like I didn't...
He left the knife under thepillow every day, right?
Like...
But the only time I thoughtabout it is when we were laying
there and I knew it was therebecause the rest of the time I
worried about what's going topush his buttons when he comes
(20:30):
home, what's going to make himmad the next day, you know, when
he gets home from work, what'sgoing to do this, what's going
to do that.
You know, and there's deeperwounds that make you feel like
you're not good enough.
You're not beautiful enough.
You're not worthy.
And that's all lies.
That's all from the pits ofhell.
Straight up lies.
There's no words around that.
(20:50):
There's nothing different.
There's no way to explain it.
There's no way to talk about itdifferently.
There's no way to look at itdifferently.
You are worthy.
Yes.
You are.
are enough no matter whatdecisions you've made no matter
what things you have done inyour life if you want to sit
(21:11):
down today and you want to prayto Jesus and you want to start a
relationship with him that's allhe wants and that's enough for
him he doesn't care about yourpast and I know we've talked
about my husband and I love myhusband and my husband knows
that I'm an ex-drug addict heknows that I had abusive
relationships he knows that Iused to drink and do drugs and
(21:34):
partied.
When we first met, he'd havetold you he would never, he'd
have never went out with mebecause I wasn't the right kind
of girl for him, right?
And we knew that about eachother.
We knew we were in totaldifferent worlds and we didn't
really like each other.
He didn't like who I was.
I didn't like who I was.
(21:54):
But now we don't ask.
SPEAKER_02 (21:57):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Like he doesn't ask because that's not who I am.
He watched me change from thatperson to the person that he
fell in love with.
And that's the only person thathe cares about.
And I am enough.
I'm hard.
I'm hard to love.
Right.
You know, and I hurt hisfeelings and I know I do because
(22:18):
I'm hard to love, you know, justbecause I do it.
The other day I did somethingand when he did it back to me,
It hurt my feelings.
Oh, yeah.
But it's okay for us.
Right?
And then when it hurt myfeelings, he goes, I don't know
why it hurt you.
He goes, I know it hurt yourfeelings.
He says, but how do you think itmakes me feel?
And you do me that way all thetime.
(22:40):
And I thought, oh, God, I do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:44):
I do.
Like, I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:47):
But sometimes I do it out of protection.
Right?
Like, I don't mean to do it.
Like, I do it out of...
And it's not his fault.
And it's been...
We'll be married 10 years inOctober.
Dylan was...
Dylan's 21.
So I haven't been in an abusiverelationship until at least 21
(23:10):
years.
Right?
Dylan's daddy left when Dylanwas three months old.
So I haven't been around abusiveanything since Dylan was three
months old.
Right?
But sometimes those...
Habits you learn or thosebehaviors that you learn.
I get it today.
(23:32):
Sometimes he catches it, but henever asks.
He never asks no questions.
God's view of us will neverchange.
No matter what we've done, nomatter what we say or do, And I
feel that about my husband.
I feel like there is nothing Icould do other than cheat on
(23:53):
him.
If I cheated on him, he probablywouldn't ever forgive me.
But there's nothing I could do,nothing I could say, that would
make him change the way he looksat me.
And when I told him I wanted tostart this podcast, Yeah, he
goes, well, what are you goingto talk about?
I was like, I don't know, justwhatever God lays on my heart to
(24:15):
talk about.
And he's like, I was like, areyou going to listen?
He's like, nope, I don't want tohear it.
I was like, okay, okay.
Biblical truth about why do wefeel ugly or not enough.
Psalms 139, 14.
I praise you because I amfearful and wonderfully made.
SPEAKER_00 (24:35):
Yes.
I
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
praise you because I am wonderfully
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
made.
UNKNOWN (24:41):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
No matter where you are.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Masterpiece.
SPEAKER_01 (24:44):
You're His
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
masterpiece.
SPEAKER_01 (24:46):
Ephesians 2.10 For we are God's masterpiece.
You know, Da Vinci and all thesedifferent artists, all this
stuff that hangs in a museum.
We are in God's museum.
We are His masterpiece.
(25:08):
Scarred, broken, Loved, notloved.
On that potter's wheel.
Every day He shapes us, right?
What does God say about beingenough?
What does He say?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
We are enough.
SPEAKER_01 (25:26):
We are enough.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
Just like we are.
I think that's one of thebiggest mistakes we try to make
is coming to God as something orsomeone else.
With our mask and all thisstuff.
No, He just wants us just likewe are.
SPEAKER_01 (25:42):
You know, I've heard people say, well, you know, when
I get it together, you know, andyou watch all these movies, you
know, I'm a Hallmark.
I love Hallmark.
I'm a Hallmark fan, you know,and, you know, they don't, the
prodigal son doesn't go home,right?
Because he wants to be perfectbefore he goes back home.
(26:02):
But when the day comes and hegoes home, The dad runs for him.
And do you know in the Bible,back in that day and time, that
that was a disgrace for thefather to run to the child?
Like that was disgrace on thefamily, on the family name.
(26:23):
And yet he opened his arms andhe run for his son.
Jesus does you the same way.
When you want to come home, whenyou are ready to give it to him,
He will open his arms and hewill wrap you up in his arms and
love you.
Yes.
Imperfections, anger, all thetrauma, all the PTSD, all the
(26:50):
depression, all the whatever.
He will love you for who youare.
SPEAKER_02 (26:57):
Amen.
SPEAKER_01 (27:00):
My grace is sufficient for you.
For my power is made perfect inweakness.
2 Corinthians 12, 9.
The truth is that we are enough.
We are not enough on our own.
But in Christ, we are more thanenough.
We are human.
And as a human, we makemistakes.
And as a human, we don't alwaysdo the right thing.
(27:26):
But when you love God...
And you have conviction, justlike we talked about in the last
podcast.
Conviction.
You're enough.
1 Peter 2.9.
You are a chosen people, a royalpriesthood.
SPEAKER_00 (27:45):
Chosen people.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
You're
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
chosen.
He chose us.
He chose us.
It ain't like when you were kidsand we were playing ball and
you're like...
They're going to pick teams.
And you're standing there, andyou're like, are they going to
pick me, pick me, pick me?
No.
You don't even have that feelingthat you
SPEAKER_01 (28:01):
felt.
SPEAKER_00 (28:02):
Oh, yeah.
You're not
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
first, but you don't want to be last either, right?
SPEAKER_00 (28:05):
No.
But the good thing about God, Hechose us.
He does like what He chose us.
Team one.
Team one.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
The winning
SPEAKER_00 (28:13):
team.
SPEAKER_01 (28:14):
We are on the winning team.
SPEAKER_00 (28:17):
God is so good.
SPEAKER_01 (28:18):
He is.
Do you have a testimony whereGod has affirmed your worth in a
low moment?
If so, please share it with uson Facebook.
We would love to hear y'all'sstories.
We would love to hear not justhow our podcast has touched you,
but just a story.
Share with us.
I was frustrated about a monthago with the podcast part of it
(28:45):
and stuff because there's nocomments.
on any of the episodes.
The few comments that we'vereceived on Facebook was friends
of ours saying, hey, listen tothis.
This is great.
But then the ones that we touch,they reach out directly.
They've been reaching outdirectly, which is amazing and
(29:06):
wonderful.
Please don't stop doing that.
But then God reminded meShannon, you didn't start this
for the likes.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:15):
You didn't start this for the comments.
You didn't start this, you know,you said that firmly, you know,
and it's not for the likes forsure, but it's the want to know
that it's touching somebody.
It is.
Oh, it is.
It is.
It is.
We have, you know, we have tooverdo it.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
It touches me and we speak it.
SPEAKER_01 (29:38):
I know, right?
By
SPEAKER_00 (29:39):
the way, this was for me today.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
Yeah, it's like going to church some weeks.
Last week
SPEAKER_00 (29:45):
I was at home and I was crying and everything.
I was like, I needed that.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
Yeah, you did.
You did.
It was good for you.
It was definitely good for you.
But it's like one of thosethings that, you know, I listen
to all these other podcasts, butI don't want to be famous.
I don't want to be famous.
I don't like fame.
the spotlight, I don't want tobe famous, right?
I don't want to be all of that.
(30:09):
I do a lot of things with abunch of nonprofits, and I do a
lot of work helping in thecommunity where my store is.
And the other day, one of thenonprofits goes, why don't you
tell people what you do for us?
And I was like, meh, meh.
(30:30):
It wouldn't be as much fun ifeverybody knew.
And they're like, yeah, but wewant to recognize you.
And I was like, that's fine.
You can recognize the group ofus.
And they're like, no, we want torecognize you.
And I was like, well, I'm notgoing to tell you not to, right?
But I don't expect it either.
And that's the same thing withthis podcast.
(30:51):
I'm not going to tell you torecognize us, and it's okay.
We have hit five countries, andwe have hit over...
Over 30 states and differentcounties in those 30 states.
Somebody's listening.
SPEAKER_00 (31:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (31:07):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
Somebody's listening.
Yeah.
Other than the people fromDalton, Georgia that know us.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's, that's enough and ithas to be enough and it's going
to be enough.
UNKNOWN (31:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:20):
But I compared us.
I mean, I was, you know, I waskind of, you know.
And then my husband askedquestions about it.
You know, how many followers doyou have and how many this and
how many that?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I don't look.
And then I look.
And then when I look, I startthinking about it.
So I choose not to look anymore.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01 (31:37):
You know.
But how do we help the youngergeneration see their worth?
You talk about it.
Talk about your legacy.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
We model it.
Live by example.
SPEAKER_01 (31:48):
Live by example.
SPEAKER_00 (31:50):
Speaking highly of yourself.
Yes.
Not in a prideful way.
I think that my girls need tosee me know my worth.
They see me a lot of yearsgiving my worth to somebody
else.
Right.
And so I think it's very, veryimportant that they see me
today, that I know who I am inChrist.
UNKNOWN (32:13):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (32:14):
that I can be not in a proper way, but a humble way.
Knowing who you are, knowingthat I'm worthy.
I'm a daughter of the King.
I don't have to live a defeatedlife.
I can walk in victory.
That's what God has called us todo, is to walk in victory, not
in a defeated life, and know whowe are.
If you don't know who you are,you can't walk in victory.
(32:36):
No.
You do your walk in thewilderness like we did for years
and you're walking around andrunning
SPEAKER_01 (32:40):
around.
Yeah.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (32:41):
Because you don't know where you're going.
SPEAKER_01 (32:43):
You know, but we also have to talk about the
physical things.
Right?
Talk about our bodies.
Yeah.
Positively.
I weigh 180 pounds and I'm okaywith that.
You always say me too.
You know, I carry it well.
And my body hurts.
I'm old.
But it could be worse.
(33:03):
We have to talk about oursuccesses, and we have to talk
about our faith.
We have to talk about where wecame from and how we got here.
And my sister's got twin girls,and I guess it's been three or
four months ago, and one of themsays, they told their mom, they
said, what happened?
(33:25):
Aunt Shannon's so different.
And I am.
I am.
I think more of others.
I don't just think about me.
I think more of what's going onaround me and about how it
affects other people.
And we have to teach our youngergeneration that.
(33:48):
We have to speak life over ouryounger generation.
daily you know we have to speaklife over our young generations
over our next generations rightuh we have to uh we have to
break those generational coursesthat we've created that we've
allowed to happen fromgeneration to generation and we
have to speak them out withpurpose we have to speak gifts
(34:12):
and we have not just appearancesright we have to talk about our
gifts talk about their giftsright
SPEAKER_00 (34:18):
we call them up to their identity Call them up to
their identity.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
The hardest part for me is finding my purpose.
It's been finding my purpose.
You know, I've struggled withwhy.
Why did you pull me out of thelion's den?
Right?
I lived in the lion's den for solong.
You pulled me out wanting tohave a kid and screw him up.
(34:43):
I mean, that's how I felt.
Right?
I screwed him up emotionally.
I felt like, you know, youpulled me out of the lion's den.
You gave me something to love toemotionally screw him up.
That's what I did.
Right?
But now I don't feel that way.
SPEAKER_00 (34:57):
I
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
mean, yes.
Yes, we struggled.
And yes, he strugglesemotionally.
But we've found help for him.
And we talk about it now.
And we're breaking those generalcurses.
And we have to be transparentwith our own struggles.
And we have to be transparentwith them about what we did and
where we came from.
So that they don't make the samemistakes.
(35:18):
And they don't live the samekind of life we live.
And then talk God to them.
Not just compliments.
But teach them His Word.
Teach them that they are chosen.
SPEAKER_02 (35:32):
They
SPEAKER_01 (35:33):
are God's masterpiece.
Speak those truths over them.
Boy or girl, they need to knowwho they are in Christ.
Finding your identity in Christis the most important thing you
can do for yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
I went to the women's homeless shelter a
couple weeks ago and spoke on...
We had talked about that in oneof our podcasts.
And so I literally had labelsthat says, Hello, my name is.
And I had wrote, Daughter of theKing, Forgiveness, just
different things.
(36:09):
Hello, my name is.
Things that God would call you.
There was like 14 differentthings.
So I let them choose which onethey wanted to wear.
And so it was amazing to...
hear why they picked what theydid.
Because they had a struggle.
They had a reason that somethingthey were struggling with that I
(36:29):
wanted them to wear that.
To actually pull it off and wearwho God called them to be.
And just even that little actliterally changed the whole
atmosphere in the room.
When you started speaking, oh,I'm not just a...
A lot of them there at theshelter are not there, but
there's only one there that wasthe cause of drugs.
The rest were just hard...
(36:51):
Some of them were coming out ofbad relationships just to get
out of the house.
Different things.
It wasn't just because theyweren't wanting to work.
Some of them just had some hardcases.
It was good to be able to callthem out into their identity in
Christ.
(37:11):
We have to do that.
We have to remind people, nomatter where you're at in life,
I'm no different than y'all.
Y'all are no different than me.
We're all the same.
God loves us just the same.
And it's almost like a click forsome of them.
They're like, oh, if God woulddo it for her, he'll do it for
me.
He loves me too.
And so sometimes it takes uswomen that's been through some
(37:34):
stuff, that God's brought us outof some stuff, to go speak life
into other people and to callthem up to their identity.
Because if we don't, who will?
SPEAKER_01 (37:43):
Right.
Right.
If we are not sharing our storyand
SPEAKER_00 (37:48):
not,
SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
you know, and I guess coming to the realization,
you know, your mom, when Iworked with your mom, she, you
know, she kept telling me, youneed to meet Debra.
You need to meet Debra.
You need to get with Debra.
You and Debra need to befriends.
You know, but it wasn't.
SPEAKER_00 (38:06):
Tom.
SPEAKER_01 (38:06):
Tom.
SPEAKER_00 (38:07):
Yeah, I was out there.
SPEAKER_01 (38:08):
Well, and I wasn't nowhere where I
SPEAKER_00 (38:12):
am today.
SPEAKER_01 (38:12):
You know, like I was, I was, still struggling
yeah right um you know there'sthere's a big controversy about
brandon lake and jelly roe it'sall over media social media
right brandon lake brought jellyroe in to sing hard fault
hallelujah right and uh and iwatched a uh a uh interview with
(38:33):
the two of them the other dayand you know and uh brandon lake
has just bought jelly roeeverywhere you know and jelly
roe will be the first to tellyou five years ago yeah i was
lost mm-hmm Yesterday when Iwoke up, I was still lost, but
I'm trying to figure it out.
And he said, the only thing Iknow for sure is that God is God
(38:56):
and he loves me where I am.
And he said, the rest of it, I'mworking on daily.
He admits he is not the holy manof God that Brandon Lake is.
SPEAKER_00 (39:10):
But Brandon's speaking life into him.
SPEAKER_01 (39:12):
But Brandon is speaking life into him.
And why, as Christians, do wefind that to be so awful?
I know.
Like, I mean, they are justbashing the crap out of him.
SPEAKER_00 (39:25):
Help them, Lord.
It
SPEAKER_01 (39:29):
makes me speechless.
Like, why?
Do you know the kind of peoplethat Jelly Roe, he is on tour
with Post Malone.
Do you know the kind of peoplethat come to Post Malone shows?
Do you know that may be the onlyopportunity these people hear
the name of Jesus?
(39:49):
Mm-hmm.
(40:15):
But he's been given theopportunity.
We should praise that and prayover it.
Right?
That might be the revival weneed to bring this country to
its knees.
But yet we...
Because it ain't what
SPEAKER_00 (40:31):
we think it should look like.
Society.
SPEAKER_01 (40:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (40:34):
You
SPEAKER_01 (40:35):
know what I mean?
I understand.
SPEAKER_00 (40:36):
Do it, Lord.
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
Give it to them.
UNKNOWN (40:39):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:39):
Proverbs 31.25, she is clothed with strength and
dignity.
She can laugh at the days tocome.
SPEAKER_00 (40:48):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (40:49):
You are clothed with strength and dignity.
You know, a woman has come outof an abusive relationship.
or a woman that has lost herchild to defects, or a woman
that has picked herself up outof the ditches, a man who has
(41:12):
lost his children because ofalcohol, who has lost his family
because of drug addiction, whoused to be the man that beat the
woman, you're clothed.
indignant and you have astrength that people will never
understand when you bringyourself out of the ditch you
(41:36):
know there is millions of waysto hit rock bottom but when you
find the way to out it is themost amazing thing that will
ever happen in your life yeahbut you gotta find the way out
yeah And the only way I've everfound the way out is Jesus.
(42:00):
Can you change what you believewithout changing what you feed
your mind?
Can you?
I don't think you can.
I truly don't think you can.
I love all kinds of music.
Love all kinds of music.
I have never been...
one kind of music kind of personright i've always liked r&b i've
(42:24):
liked rap i've liked alternativei liked grunge music you know i
like country music whateverspeaks to me you know and but
nowadays i like gospel music youknow and it's because it's what
speaks to me yes and i believewhat you listen with your ears
is what you hear in your heartyeah If you continue to hear
(42:47):
negativity, if you continue tohear bad things all the time, I
believe, you know, the lady fromFull House, Cameron Burr, I
think is her name, but they'regiving her a hard time because
she was on a talk show and shesaid that she's never seen a
(43:08):
horror movie.
She worked for Hollywood.
She's worked in Hollywood sinceshe was a kid, but she's never
seen a horror movie because shebelieves that that opens the
door for demons to come intoyour house.
I agree.
I agree that when you allowthings, because, I mean, some of
(43:29):
that stuff, where did it comefrom?
It could only have come from thedevil, right?
Right.
Some of these things you can'tthink up on your own.
Somebody is whispering thatevilness into your thoughts.
You know?
So let's get practical.
How you guard againstcomprehension and walk in God's
(43:53):
confidence.
You replace the lies withscripture and affirmation.
If you can't find affirmationyourself...
Find a friend that can
SPEAKER_00 (44:04):
help you.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
Yes.
Right?
People can speak it into
SPEAKER_00 (44:07):
your ear,
SPEAKER_01 (44:09):
but it can't just be them.
Right?
Once someone helps you, you haveto find your own feet.
Yeah.
You know, it's no different thangoing out here and getting
assistance.
Eventually, you've got to standon your own two feet.
Affirmation is the same way, butpeople can help lead you in the
right direction.
Right.
Follow accounts and triggers.
(44:30):
What triggers
SPEAKER_00 (44:31):
is insecurity.
SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
Unfollow accounts.
But what triggers thoseinsecurities?
What happens?
Recognize.
Recognize, right?
It took a long time for me torecognize my PTSD and what
triggered my PTSD.
And nowadays, I know what to do.
(44:54):
when something happens thattriggers my PTSD.
And it's not used to.
You see, I was taking a pillthat would knock me out, and I'd
wake up, forgot about what hadhappened.
Now I hit my knees.
Now I pray.
But you've got to figure outwhat those triggers are.
What are those triggers thatmake you mad?
What are those triggers thatmake you depressed?
(45:17):
What are those triggers thatmake you feel unworthy?
UNKNOWN (45:20):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (45:24):
And you can start a gratitude list.
SPEAKER_01 (45:26):
A gratitude
SPEAKER_00 (45:27):
list.
Gratitude changes your attitude.
I like to say that.
Oh.
Gratitude changes your attitude.
SPEAKER_01 (45:33):
It does.
It does.
And you know.
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
My new Facebook post, by the way.
SPEAKER_01 (45:41):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (45:41):
I just thought of that.
SPEAKER_01 (45:42):
oh yep look it does though it does it really does
you know and uh we're not goingto go through the trials like
david did right we're not goingto be thrown in the lion's den
but are we we're not going to beyou know uh there's a song you
know it says uh we're not goingto be through you know we're
going to david was in the lion'sden and then three days later he
(46:05):
walks out alive and You know,and then you've got, you know,
the ocean and the walking acrossthe ocean, Peter.
And we're not going to ever seethose kinds
SPEAKER_02 (46:15):
of
SPEAKER_01 (46:16):
miracles, right?
Because Jesus isn't standinghere with us.
But what miracles do you see?
SPEAKER_02 (46:21):
What
SPEAKER_01 (46:22):
miracles do you see every day?
Don't tell me you don't becausethey're there.
Yeah.
I'm grateful.
I wake up every day.
Yeah.
You know, for a long time inaddiction, I used to tell
everybody, Oh, I ain't got toworry about it.
I'm not going to live to be 30.
I don't have to worry aboutthat.
I'm not going to live to be 30.
And then one day I turned 30clean.
(46:46):
You know, when I turned 30, Iwas clean.
My son was a few years old and,uh, I was struggling with who I
was and struggling with myidentity and my self worth.
And, uh, trying to figure outhow to be a mom how to love
myself you can't be a mom andnot love yourself right but I
used to not worry about it butnow I thank God every morning I
(47:11):
wake up you know and sogratitude doesn't have to be
huge it doesn't have to be thebig things in life you know I'm
grateful I can get out of thebed I mean as rough as I've been
on my body it makes me wonderwhy I'm not crippled or
Something.
I mean, I did some crazy things.
(47:32):
Yeah.
I mean, and I was in some crazycar wrecks.
And so if you would think I'd bea little bit more messed up.
And then speak blessings overyourself in the mirror.
Yeah.
Speak affirmation over yourselfin the mirror.
Look in your eyes when you'restruggling and speak
(47:56):
affirmation.
truth about yourself and i knowthat that's hard and i know that
when you're down and you'redepressed or when you know i am
chosen yeah god knows my name iam loved by him i am enough for
(48:20):
him you know um i had anassociate tell me the other day
they were like you know, you'veonly been here a week and you've
called me by my name threetimes.
And the other store manager washere for like 10 years and he
never called me by my name.
And I was like, okay, what didhe call you?
And she goes, well, I'm glad youcalled me by my name.
(48:41):
Like I took the time to read hername badge and I'm not the best
at it.
Right.
But for some reason I rememberedher name.
God knows she needed that.
SPEAKER_00 (48:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (48:52):
That recognition, you know, and sometimes it's
just that.
simple calling by his name callout to jesus call out to god and
say god i am chosen by you i amknown by you i am loved by you
(49:14):
and i am enough for you if youare struggling with this today
Buy a paint pen.
Write it on your mirror.
Write it on a sticky note.
Read it every day.
Stick it on the visor of yourcar.
Stick it in your purse.
You know, I stick sticky noteswhere my debit card is because I
(49:35):
know I'm going to reach for mydebit card at least three times
a day.
I like to eat.
You know, real.
You don't always have to justsay it out loud, but just to
read it.
It'll help.
It'll help with that.
You know, you are enough.
(49:56):
Every sister listening to thispodcast, you are loved.
You are chosen.
You were chosen to listen tothis podcast today.
You are enough.
I can't tell you enough how muchyou are loved.
And it's not because the way youlook.
(50:16):
It's not because you get a lotto like.
It's not about your status inlife.
It's not about whether you'repoor or you live in a big house
or you drive a nice car.
You are loved because the onewho created you, the one who
made you, you, loves you.
(50:36):
Yes.
Loves you, loves you.
Share this with a sister whoneeds to hear it.
And if you've got a daughter ora niece or a mentee, you've got
a son.
They need to hear it just asmuch as the girls.
Sit down with them and listen.
Listen together.
Tell them how much He lovesthem.
(50:58):
Tell them how much He coversthem.
Speak blessing over them.
Speak confidence over them.
Speak strength over them.
Let's keep this grace-filledconversation going until next
time.
Live loved, walk boldly, andremember you are not too much.
(51:19):
You are just enough.
You're God's masterpiece.
Deb, take us out in prayer.
SPEAKER_00 (51:26):
And Lord, I just pray that everyone, Amen.
(51:46):
We love you.
We love you.
Amen.
Amen.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
Hey family, welcome back to Unrelated Sisters Truth
and Grace Conversation.
I'm your host Shannon and I'mhere with my ride or die sister
in cross, Deb.
Hey y'all, today we're divinginto something that's been
messing with women and men orgirls and boys for way too long.
Comparison and not feeling goodenough.
(00:46):
This is for anyone who's everlooked in the mirror and said,
why can't I look like them?
Or scroll through Instagramthinking, I'll never have a life
like that.
Sis, it's time to call thoselies out and replace them with
God's truth.
How do we build a strongfoundation for the future
generations?
(01:08):
Why do we compare ourselves towhat we see in the world?
And why do we feel like we arenever be pretty enough, smart
enough, or good enough?
SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
Comparison's real.
SPEAKER_01 (01:22):
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (01:23):
it is.
That's probably one of thebiggest things.
And we say, oh, we loveourselves just the way we are.
But do we?
Like, listen, I'm trying to growmy hair out.
And so it's a whole mess.
And so I'm like, I want my hairlong.
You know what I mean?
Like, I want long hair.
But it's so hard.
And so, like, I see otherpeople's hair.
And their hair is so pretty.
And they can pull it back and itlooks cute.
(01:44):
And I feel like I pull my hairback and I look like a boy.
You know what I mean?
But listen, I'm trying to becomfortable with it.
And this morning I didn't wearmakeup to church, but I did have
on fake lashes.
And so I'm like, what do I evendo that for anyway?
You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know.
I mean, I like to feel good, butI feel like we do just compare
(02:04):
ourselves and think that we haveto look like this or we have to
look a certain way.
I mean, my nickname at work, thegirls call me Barbie at work.
SPEAKER_01 (02:14):
I can see that.
SPEAKER_00 (02:15):
they're like one of the girls that the morning we
came in really really early andsecond shift was still there
they work till uh like five inthe morning and she was like how
do you get up and look like thatevery day i'm like listen i'm
trying to do better because icould spend more time spending
time with god or doing somethingelse you know i mean if i didn't
spend an hour getting readyevery day but we why do i do
(02:38):
that i don't know
SPEAKER_01 (02:39):
I don't even put makeup on.
It
SPEAKER_00 (02:41):
still takes me an hour to get ready every day.
I know, but I'm trying to get towhere I don't and trying to be,
like, okay with who I am.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_01 (02:49):
Yeah, but it's a process.
It is.
SPEAKER_00 (02:51):
It's a process.
I'm getting there.
SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
Right?
Because I remember coming homefor Christmas one year and...
am not i've never been a smallperson right i you know i don't
remember ever wearing a sizezero or size two pants right i
remember being in school wearinglittle girls clothes and then i
(03:12):
wear or like 11 12 13 14 rightso i've never been small my you
know i'm big boned
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
that's right
SPEAKER_01 (03:21):
you know me too uh But I remember coming home on
Christmas after being on methfor several years.
And my mama kept this video.
They videoed the Christmas thatmorning.
And she showed it to me later.
And I weighed 102 pounds.
102 pounds.
(03:44):
Lord mercy.
I ain't never weighed less than140 that I can remember.
But I weighed 102 pounds.
UNKNOWN (03:51):
Wow.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
I was dressed in clothes that I would never dare
wear, right?
And it's not because I'm a biggirl.
It's because women shouldn'trepresent themselves that
SPEAKER_02 (04:07):
way,
SPEAKER_01 (04:08):
right?
And I believe that, right?
I believe that you should bemodest in your clothing, and I
believe that you should be– youcan look nice and sexy and look
respectable, right?
But when she showed me thisvideo, my face– My eyeballs are
stuck into my head.
You know, my hair is thin andstringy.
My hair has never been thin andstringy.
(04:29):
It's always been thick andcurly, but it's thin and it's
stringy, you know, and I've goton, I've got on like three tons
of makeup, right?
Just trying to hide the darkeyes and all the mess.
And I cried when she, when Icome home, and was trying to get
(04:50):
clean, she showed me that video.
I cried.
People let me walk aroundlooking like that.
We thought we looked good.
And I thought I looked good.
Oh, yeah, I did.
And it just, you know, when Ifinally did get clean, nine
(05:12):
months pregnant, I only weighed162 pounds.
nine months pregnant.
When Dylan was born, I weighed162 pounds.
I weighed 118 when I gotpregnant with him.
So I gained a lot of weight.
You just couldn't tell I gaineda lot of weight because I should
have never been that size tostart with, right?
That's not healthy for me.
(05:32):
But talking about comparison,when I watched that video, I
realized right then and therethat if people who love me or
was my friend was going to letme walk around in the world
looking that way, then they,nobody cares about the way I
look.
(05:53):
Nobody cares.
I'm serious.
Like nobody cares if I look likeI wrote out of the bed.
Now they might whisper about meand they might talk about me,
but at the end of the day,that's just because I got
nothing else better to do.
Nobody cares.
I quit worrying about whatpeople thought the day I watched
that video.
It was awful.
(06:14):
And I'm still, like, it stilljust blows my mind that people
let me be around in the world.
Like, I was getting high with mydaddy.
And my daddy never said nothingabout me looking that way.
But now that I think about it,it's because he looked that way,
too.
SPEAKER_00 (06:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (06:30):
We all look the same.
We didn't care, you know.
My daddy did teach me to eat onmeth, right?
Like, I'd go home forThanksgiving dinner and sit down
and eat a seven-course meal.
And then go back home and gethigh.
So, I don't know.
But comparison is truly real,right?
(06:51):
It is so real.
In this powerful grace-soakedepisode, we're going to pull
back the curtains on comparisonand insecurities.
Let's get honest.
Comparison is everywhere.
Social media, TV, the workplace,even at church.
SPEAKER_02 (07:09):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (07:09):
right?
It is so easy to fall into thetrap.
The enemy will targetinsecurities that we have placed
in a box in the back of ourheart or mind.
Remember that, that time when,um, when, you know, when you,
the box.
So that movie, there's themovie, um, oh, what's the movie?
(07:30):
Inside Out, right?
And they, it shows all thelittle girls' emotions, right?
Well, in Inside Out 2, they are,it shows where the emotion that
had been trying to protect herher whole life from anything
that was going to be sad hadbeen storing them in a box and
just putting them out of theway.
(07:50):
So she had never dealt withdisappointment.
She had never dealt with, youknow, with anything sad.
She had never dealt with thoseraw emotions.
She'd always just been happy andjoyful, the little girl had
been.
And now that she was a teenager,you know, those boxes were...
leaking into into the thing andyou sit and you think about it
(08:14):
right you sit and think aboutdriving down the road and one of
those boxes leak right and thenand that's where we come in at
that's where the enemy starts totarget our insecurities you know
um I know my biggest insecurityis a bad mom, right?
You know, the relationship thatI've had with my son in the
(08:36):
years, that one still grabs ahold of me sometimes.
It's easy to fall into thattrap, you know, because I'm
really good to the broken peopleat work.
You know, I really am.
I'm really good to the peoplethat I see now that are broken,
but I wasn't good when he was akid.
And so I compare myself to othermoms, right?
(09:00):
Like my sister, she's alwaysbeen, she had twins to start
with.
She's got a third now.
You know, he just turned 11.
Her girls are amazing, right?
Like they're self-efficient.
They're very smart.
They're very intelligent.
She's done a really good jobwith her kids.
(09:23):
They're well-rounded, right?
But she was there, right?
She was there physically andemotionally.
And, you know, sometimes I wishthat could be me.
Yeah.
I wish that could be me.
Yeah.
You know, but she was raised inthe same house I was raised in.
(09:44):
She just made better choicesthan I
SPEAKER_02 (09:46):
did.
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
You know, and at the end of the day, when we're
comparing ourselves to otherpeople or we find out these
insecurities, do we have thosebecause of choices we make?
SPEAKER_00 (09:58):
A lot of my things stem from it.
And for me, I used to comparemyself.
We've talked about this beforeto my brothers.
You know, they're verysuccessful and they're very, I
feel like they have a reallygood relationship with the Lord
or they're maybe in a differentspot than I am.
And so I finally, when I finallyrealized that their walk is not
(10:21):
the same walk as mine, we're onthe same path that you were
talking about earlier, but ourcallings are different.
Right.
My youngest brother can play thekeyboard like nobody's business.
He plays at Crosspoint.
My other brother, Pastors, canplay, sing.
My next oldest brother, hedrives a truck.
He can play any instrument youcan think of.
(10:43):
Pick it up and play it.
Just never had a lesson in hislife.
And I feel like I struggle to doanything right a lot of times.
You know what I mean?
I used to feel that way.
I'm getting a lot better now.
And so...
When I finally realized that, Ican't compare myself to them.
Their walk is their walk.
I made choices, like you said,that got me to where I'm at
(11:04):
today.
I remember Michael told Mom thatone time.
He was like, Mom, quit beatingyourself up.
We was all raised in the samehouse, under the same roof.
She made her choices.
We made ours.
This is where we're at.
But there's people that I canreach that they may not ever
reach.
There's people that they canreach that I may not ever reach.
(11:24):
But together...
We all play a part.
We all have gifts.
We all have call-ins.
I would love to be able to sitin and play the piano and sing
like they do.
But what I can do is sit with anaddict or somebody that's lost
their kids in defects or youknow some people that's
(11:48):
overdosed or you know somepeople that struggle with
depression and i can sit rightthere with them some people
that's been in prison or jail ican sit there with them
SPEAKER_01 (11:58):
and we can lead it we can show them that there's
hope
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
yeah
SPEAKER_01 (12:02):
right i remember you know
SPEAKER_00 (12:06):
um
SPEAKER_01 (12:07):
When I was starting back with my faith and stuff, I
remember going to church andbeing like, well, I can do that.
Okay, so I joined a small group,but I didn't fit in, right?
And it's not that they didanything that made me feel like
I didn't fit in.
It's not that they didn't, youknow, not make me feel like I
(12:29):
fit in.
It was never them.
It was always me, you know.
The church, you know, the pastorwould ask me to, you know, come
up on stage and share mytestimony.
And I gladly did that and stuff.
But then after I would do it, Iwould feel shame, right?
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
So the enemy works.
SPEAKER_01 (12:48):
Yeah, like I would go up and I would share my
testimony.
And the testimony is amazing,right?
I mean, where I came from.
But I would feel shame.
And it was so hard starting out.
right when i was still dealingright because i hadn't dealt
with all of the insecurities ori hadn't dealt with all the
shame or all the guilt or all ofthe different things that i had
(13:11):
felt i just remember comparingmy journey to other people's
like why why can't i hear himright like it's not like i woke
up one morning and god waswhispering in my ears right he
may have been But my heartwasn't ready to let him in.
Not fully.
(13:32):
Right?
We were ready to let him stopby.
Yeah.
Right?
We wanted him
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
to listen.
But we weren't fullysurrendered.
SPEAKER_01 (13:36):
But we weren't fully surrendered.
So I couldn't hear him eventhough I wanted to.
But you have to fully surrender.
And you have to start to, youhave to dig deep.
There's wounds in there.
There's insecurities in therethat you have to dig deep.
You know?
You may not realize that it's aninsecurity until God says, hey,
(13:57):
psst.
That's got to go away.
Yeah.
You know, it says in Romans 12,6, we have different gifts
according to the grace given toeach of us.
SPEAKER_00 (14:08):
Yeah.
To each of us.
SPEAKER_01 (14:10):
To each of us.
That's our story.
SPEAKER_00 (14:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (14:12):
That's our story.
Your story is your differentgift.
You know?
you and it doesn't matter whatyour story is it doesn't matter
what it is it doesn't matter ifyou grew up in church every
sunday and you did this or youdid that there's a story there's
a story maybe you've beenmarried to your husband for 60
(14:34):
years that's a story worthtelling i Pray every day that me
and my husband make it to six
SPEAKER_00 (14:44):
years.
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (14:45):
You know, I don't want to be one of those that
fell at marriage.
I mean, I didn't get marrieduntil I was 37 years old.
I was 100% sure he was the one,right?
I've been engaged two or threetimes.
I even had the dress, bought theinvitations.
(15:06):
filled them all out, boughtstamps for all of the wedding
invitations, and went to thepost office to sit in my car and
cry for two hours because Icouldn't get out to go mail
them.
And he was a good guy.
He was nice to me.
He was good to Dylan.
Right?
He didn't hit me.
He didn't yell at me.
He didn't cuss me.
Shh.
(15:26):
I loved him.
Mm-hmm.
Not really.
But he was a good guy.
SPEAKER_00 (15:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (15:31):
Right?
And that's all I wanted wassomebody to be good to me.
UNKNOWN (15:35):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (15:36):
And then one day I realized that the only thing
that needed to be good to me wasGod.
And that was a hard realizationbecause I compared myself to my
sister, her husband, and theirmarriage, and their children,
and their home, and their nicecars, and
SPEAKER_02 (15:54):
their...
SPEAKER_01 (15:56):
I was barely making the bills.
I had to move back in with mymama so that I could afford to
feed my kid.
That's embarrassing.
That's embarrassing.
At 28 years old, to have to moveback in with your mom just so
you can feed your kid.
SPEAKER_00 (16:13):
I did that, but I was like a boomerang.
SPEAKER_01 (16:21):
So it was hard.
It was hard.
And it was hard to let go ofthat.
It was hard to let go of that.
I felt like for a long time thatI started out as a failure as a
mom.
I wasn't married.
He didn't have a daddy.
His daddy didn't stay around.
He didn't have a daddy.
(16:41):
We had to move back home.
I had to move back home.
He was sleeping in a bassinet inthe bedroom that I grew up in
just to be able to afford tofeed him.
I worked a job, but I had tomake decisions and sacrifices in
the way.
I always swore.
(17:04):
when I got clean, that I wouldnever let anything or anyone
make me feel lesser than.
But I truly did not come out ofthat insecurity until I gave it
all to God.
I felt lesser than the whole
SPEAKER_00 (17:22):
time.
SPEAKER_01 (17:23):
Even going to church, even sharing my story,
the devil would have weight.
And I helped people.
Like, there was peoplestruggling.
You know, there was youngerpeople struggling, you know, and
we'd talk them into going tochurch with us.
And I put on that perfectfacade, right?
I was happy all the time, andlife was perfect.
And behind closed doors, and I'dbring my car, they were
SPEAKER_00 (17:45):
gone.
SPEAKER_01 (17:46):
You know, and those insecurities, and that
comparison, and that wanting tobe one person and truly being
somebody else is...
what women and men both need tosolve.
SPEAKER_00 (18:00):
Yeah, it's exhausting.
SPEAKER_01 (18:01):
It is so exhausting.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
You know, I think a lot, too, for me, I think a lot
of my insecurities came from, Iwas in a lot of abusive
relationships, a lot.
And it was almost like I was amagnet to these men.
Oh, yeah.
A literal magnet.
And not only do the It was a lotof physical abuse, but a lot of
mental and emotional abuse.
(18:25):
And I think a lot of times whenyou go through that, you know,
you are beat down.
When they're telling you allthat you're this and you're that
and you'll never be.
Nobody ever wants you.
You're not good enough.
And you start believing thoselies.
You do.
And we talked about this on oneof the other episodes.
I literally had to speak thosethings out.
That I come out of agreementthat I'm not enough.
(18:47):
I come out of agreement with thelie that I'm ugly or that I'll
never be nothing.
But it's not just you wake upand it just happens.
No.
Because you think, well, I'mgood and then something will
happen.
And you're like, why am Ifeeling like this?
Well, because you believe in thelie of the enemy.
You're not believing the truthabout yourself.
(19:08):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (19:09):
Well, you know, underneath comparison, there's a
lot of deeper wounds.
I remember the first guy that Idated that hit me.
The first time he hit me, Ithought, excuse you?
I wouldn't raise like that.
This ain't happening.
And then he didn't hit me.
He apologized, and he was verysad and very whatever.
(19:30):
And he didn't hit me for a longtime after that.
But by the time he hit me thesecond time, he convinced me to
move out of state.
I was living in a place I didn'tknow anybody but him and his
mama, living with his mama,taking care of his mama for him.
(19:53):
And...
We would go to bed at night, andhe would sleep with a knife
under his pillow.
And I remember laying therethinking, if I could just get my
hands on that.
If I could just get my hands onthat pillow, he'd never touch me
again.
SPEAKER_02 (20:08):
You
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
know, if I could just get my hands on that
pillow.
But I was so nervous.
It's not like I didn't...
He left the knife under thepillow every day, right?
Like...
But the only time I thoughtabout it is when we were laying
there and I knew it was therebecause the rest of the time I
worried about what's going topush his buttons when he comes
(20:30):
home, what's going to make himmad the next day, you know, when
he gets home from work, what'sgoing to do this, what's going
to do that.
You know, and there's deeperwounds that make you feel like
you're not good enough.
You're not beautiful enough.
You're not worthy.
And that's all lies.
That's all from the pits ofhell.
Straight up lies.
There's no words around that.
(20:50):
There's nothing different.
There's no way to explain it.
There's no way to talk about itdifferently.
There's no way to look at itdifferently.
You are worthy.
Yes.
You are.
are enough no matter whatdecisions you've made no matter
what things you have done inyour life if you want to sit
(21:11):
down today and you want to prayto Jesus and you want to start a
relationship with him that's allhe wants and that's enough for
him he doesn't care about yourpast and I know we've talked
about my husband and I love myhusband and my husband knows
that I'm an ex-drug addict heknows that I had abusive
relationships he knows that Iused to drink and do drugs and
(21:34):
partied.
When we first met, he'd havetold you he would never, he'd
have never went out with mebecause I wasn't the right kind
of girl for him, right?
And we knew that about eachother.
We knew we were in totaldifferent worlds and we didn't
really like each other.
He didn't like who I was.
I didn't like who I was.
(21:54):
But now we don't ask.
SPEAKER_02 (21:57):
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (21:58):
Like he doesn't ask because that's not who I am.
He watched me change from thatperson to the person that he
fell in love with.
And that's the only person thathe cares about.
And I am enough.
I'm hard.
I'm hard to love.
Right.
You know, and I hurt hisfeelings and I know I do because
(22:18):
I'm hard to love, you know, justbecause I do it.
The other day I did somethingand when he did it back to me,
It hurt my feelings.
Oh, yeah.
But it's okay for us.
Right?
And then when it hurt myfeelings, he goes, I don't know
why it hurt you.
He goes, I know it hurt yourfeelings.
He says, but how do you think itmakes me feel?
And you do me that way all thetime.
(22:40):
And I thought, oh, God, I do.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:44):
I do.
Like, I'm so sorry.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (22:47):
But sometimes I do it out of protection.
Right?
Like, I don't mean to do it.
Like, I do it out of...
And it's not his fault.
And it's been...
We'll be married 10 years inOctober.
Dylan was...
Dylan's 21.
So I haven't been in an abusiverelationship until at least 21
(23:10):
years.
Right?
Dylan's daddy left when Dylanwas three months old.
So I haven't been around abusiveanything since Dylan was three
months old.
Right?
But sometimes those...
Habits you learn or thosebehaviors that you learn.
I get it today.
(23:32):
Sometimes he catches it, but henever asks.
He never asks no questions.
God's view of us will neverchange.
No matter what we've done, nomatter what we say or do, And I
feel that about my husband.
I feel like there is nothing Icould do other than cheat on
(23:53):
him.
If I cheated on him, he probablywouldn't ever forgive me.
But there's nothing I could do,nothing I could say, that would
make him change the way he looksat me.
And when I told him I wanted tostart this podcast, Yeah, he
goes, well, what are you goingto talk about?
I was like, I don't know, justwhatever God lays on my heart to
(24:15):
talk about.
And he's like, I was like, areyou going to listen?
He's like, nope, I don't want tohear it.
I was like, okay, okay.
Biblical truth about why do wefeel ugly or not enough.
Psalms 139, 14.
I praise you because I amfearful and wonderfully made.
SPEAKER_00 (24:35):
Yes.
I
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
praise you because I am wonderfully
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
made.
UNKNOWN (24:41):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (24:41):
No matter where you are.
SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
Masterpiece.
SPEAKER_01 (24:44):
You're His
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
masterpiece.
SPEAKER_01 (24:46):
Ephesians 2.10 For we are God's masterpiece.
You know, Da Vinci and all thesedifferent artists, all this
stuff that hangs in a museum.
We are in God's museum.
We are His masterpiece.
(25:08):
Scarred, broken, Loved, notloved.
On that potter's wheel.
Every day He shapes us, right?
What does God say about beingenough?
What does He say?
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
We are enough.
SPEAKER_01 (25:26):
We are enough.
SPEAKER_00 (25:27):
Just like we are.
I think that's one of thebiggest mistakes we try to make
is coming to God as something orsomeone else.
With our mask and all thisstuff.
No, He just wants us just likewe are.
SPEAKER_01 (25:42):
You know, I've heard people say, well, you know, when
I get it together, you know, andyou watch all these movies, you
know, I'm a Hallmark.
I love Hallmark.
I'm a Hallmark fan, you know,and, you know, they don't, the
prodigal son doesn't go home,right?
Because he wants to be perfectbefore he goes back home.
(26:02):
But when the day comes and hegoes home, The dad runs for him.
And do you know in the Bible,back in that day and time, that
that was a disgrace for thefather to run to the child?
Like that was disgrace on thefamily, on the family name.
(26:23):
And yet he opened his arms andhe run for his son.
Jesus does you the same way.
When you want to come home, whenyou are ready to give it to him,
He will open his arms and hewill wrap you up in his arms and
love you.
Yes.
Imperfections, anger, all thetrauma, all the PTSD, all the
(26:50):
depression, all the whatever.
He will love you for who youare.
SPEAKER_02 (26:57):
Amen.
SPEAKER_01 (27:00):
My grace is sufficient for you.
For my power is made perfect inweakness.
2 Corinthians 12, 9.
The truth is that we are enough.
We are not enough on our own.
But in Christ, we are more thanenough.
We are human.
And as a human, we makemistakes.
And as a human, we don't alwaysdo the right thing.
(27:26):
But when you love God...
And you have conviction, justlike we talked about in the last
podcast.
Conviction.
You're enough.
1 Peter 2.9.
You are a chosen people, a royalpriesthood.
SPEAKER_00 (27:45):
Chosen people.
SPEAKER_01 (27:46):
You're
SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
chosen.
He chose us.
He chose us.
It ain't like when you were kidsand we were playing ball and
you're like...
They're going to pick teams.
And you're standing there, andyou're like, are they going to
pick me, pick me, pick me?
No.
You don't even have that feelingthat you
SPEAKER_01 (28:01):
felt.
SPEAKER_00 (28:02):
Oh, yeah.
You're not
SPEAKER_01 (28:02):
first, but you don't want to be last either, right?
SPEAKER_00 (28:05):
No.
But the good thing about God, Hechose us.
He does like what He chose us.
Team one.
Team one.
SPEAKER_01 (28:12):
The winning
SPEAKER_00 (28:13):
team.
SPEAKER_01 (28:14):
We are on the winning team.
SPEAKER_00 (28:17):
God is so good.
SPEAKER_01 (28:18):
He is.
Do you have a testimony whereGod has affirmed your worth in a
low moment?
If so, please share it with uson Facebook.
We would love to hear y'all'sstories.
We would love to hear not justhow our podcast has touched you,
but just a story.
Share with us.
I was frustrated about a monthago with the podcast part of it
(28:45):
and stuff because there's nocomments.
on any of the episodes.
The few comments that we'vereceived on Facebook was friends
of ours saying, hey, listen tothis.
This is great.
But then the ones that we touch,they reach out directly.
They've been reaching outdirectly, which is amazing and
(29:06):
wonderful.
Please don't stop doing that.
But then God reminded meShannon, you didn't start this
for the likes.
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (29:15):
You didn't start this for the comments.
You didn't start this, you know,you said that firmly, you know,
and it's not for the likes forsure, but it's the want to know
that it's touching somebody.
It is.
Oh, it is.
It is.
It is.
We have, you know, we have tooverdo it.
SPEAKER_00 (29:36):
It touches me and we speak it.
SPEAKER_01 (29:38):
I know, right?
By
SPEAKER_00 (29:39):
the way, this was for me today.
SPEAKER_01 (29:42):
Yeah, it's like going to church some weeks.
Last week
SPEAKER_00 (29:45):
I was at home and I was crying and everything.
I was like, I needed that.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
Yeah, you did.
You did.
It was good for you.
It was definitely good for you.
But it's like one of thosethings that, you know, I listen
to all these other podcasts, butI don't want to be famous.
I don't want to be famous.
I don't like fame.
the spotlight, I don't want tobe famous, right?
I don't want to be all of that.
(30:09):
I do a lot of things with abunch of nonprofits, and I do a
lot of work helping in thecommunity where my store is.
And the other day, one of thenonprofits goes, why don't you
tell people what you do for us?
And I was like, meh, meh.
(30:30):
It wouldn't be as much fun ifeverybody knew.
And they're like, yeah, but wewant to recognize you.
And I was like, that's fine.
You can recognize the group ofus.
And they're like, no, we want torecognize you.
And I was like, well, I'm notgoing to tell you not to, right?
But I don't expect it either.
And that's the same thing withthis podcast.
(30:51):
I'm not going to tell you torecognize us, and it's okay.
We have hit five countries, andwe have hit over...
Over 30 states and differentcounties in those 30 states.
Somebody's listening.
SPEAKER_00 (31:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (31:07):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (31:07):
Somebody's listening.
Yeah.
Other than the people fromDalton, Georgia that know us.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's, that's enough and ithas to be enough and it's going
to be enough.
UNKNOWN (31:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:20):
But I compared us.
I mean, I was, you know, I waskind of, you know.
And then my husband askedquestions about it.
You know, how many followers doyou have and how many this and
how many that?
And I'm like, I don't know.
I don't look.
And then I look.
And then when I look, I startthinking about it.
So I choose not to look anymore.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
Yeah, there you go.
SPEAKER_01 (31:37):
You know.
But how do we help the youngergeneration see their worth?
You talk about it.
Talk about your legacy.
SPEAKER_00 (31:45):
We model it.
Live by example.
SPEAKER_01 (31:48):
Live by example.
SPEAKER_00 (31:50):
Speaking highly of yourself.
Yes.
Not in a prideful way.
I think that my girls need tosee me know my worth.
They see me a lot of yearsgiving my worth to somebody
else.
Right.
And so I think it's very, veryimportant that they see me
today, that I know who I am inChrist.
UNKNOWN (32:13):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (32:14):
that I can be not in a proper way, but a humble way.
Knowing who you are, knowingthat I'm worthy.
I'm a daughter of the King.
I don't have to live a defeatedlife.
I can walk in victory.
That's what God has called us todo, is to walk in victory, not
in a defeated life, and know whowe are.
If you don't know who you are,you can't walk in victory.
(32:36):
No.
You do your walk in thewilderness like we did for years
and you're walking around andrunning
SPEAKER_01 (32:40):
around.
Yeah.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (32:41):
Because you don't know where you're going.
SPEAKER_01 (32:43):
You know, but we also have to talk about the
physical things.
Right?
Talk about our bodies.
Yeah.
Positively.
I weigh 180 pounds and I'm okaywith that.
You always say me too.
You know, I carry it well.
And my body hurts.
I'm old.
But it could be worse.
(33:03):
We have to talk about oursuccesses, and we have to talk
about our faith.
We have to talk about where wecame from and how we got here.
And my sister's got twin girls,and I guess it's been three or
four months ago, and one of themsays, they told their mom, they
said, what happened?
(33:25):
Aunt Shannon's so different.
And I am.
I am.
I think more of others.
I don't just think about me.
I think more of what's going onaround me and about how it
affects other people.
And we have to teach our youngergeneration that.
(33:48):
We have to speak life over ouryounger generation.
daily you know we have to speaklife over our young generations
over our next generations rightuh we have to uh we have to
break those generational coursesthat we've created that we've
allowed to happen fromgeneration to generation and we
have to speak them out withpurpose we have to speak gifts
(34:12):
and we have not just appearancesright we have to talk about our
gifts talk about their giftsright
SPEAKER_00 (34:18):
we call them up to their identity Call them up to
their identity.
SPEAKER_01 (34:22):
The hardest part for me is finding my purpose.
It's been finding my purpose.
You know, I've struggled withwhy.
Why did you pull me out of thelion's den?
Right?
I lived in the lion's den for solong.
You pulled me out wanting tohave a kid and screw him up.
(34:43):
I mean, that's how I felt.
Right?
I screwed him up emotionally.
I felt like, you know, youpulled me out of the lion's den.
You gave me something to love toemotionally screw him up.
That's what I did.
Right?
But now I don't feel that way.
SPEAKER_00 (34:57):
I
SPEAKER_01 (34:57):
mean, yes.
Yes, we struggled.
And yes, he strugglesemotionally.
But we've found help for him.
And we talk about it now.
And we're breaking those generalcurses.
And we have to be transparentwith our own struggles.
And we have to be transparentwith them about what we did and
where we came from.
So that they don't make the samemistakes.
(35:18):
And they don't live the samekind of life we live.
And then talk God to them.
Not just compliments.
But teach them His Word.
Teach them that they are chosen.
SPEAKER_02 (35:32):
They
SPEAKER_01 (35:33):
are God's masterpiece.
Speak those truths over them.
Boy or girl, they need to knowwho they are in Christ.
Finding your identity in Christis the most important thing you
can do for yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
I went to the women's homeless shelter a
couple weeks ago and spoke on...
We had talked about that in oneof our podcasts.
And so I literally had labelsthat says, Hello, my name is.
And I had wrote, Daughter of theKing, Forgiveness, just
different things.
(36:09):
Hello, my name is.
Things that God would call you.
There was like 14 differentthings.
So I let them choose which onethey wanted to wear.
And so it was amazing to...
hear why they picked what theydid.
Because they had a struggle.
They had a reason that somethingthey were struggling with that I
(36:29):
wanted them to wear that.
To actually pull it off and wearwho God called them to be.
And just even that little actliterally changed the whole
atmosphere in the room.
When you started speaking, oh,I'm not just a...
A lot of them there at theshelter are not there, but
there's only one there that wasthe cause of drugs.
The rest were just hard...
(36:51):
Some of them were coming out ofbad relationships just to get
out of the house.
Different things.
It wasn't just because theyweren't wanting to work.
Some of them just had some hardcases.
It was good to be able to callthem out into their identity in
Christ.
(37:11):
We have to do that.
We have to remind people, nomatter where you're at in life,
I'm no different than y'all.
Y'all are no different than me.
We're all the same.
God loves us just the same.
And it's almost like a click forsome of them.
They're like, oh, if God woulddo it for her, he'll do it for
me.
He loves me too.
And so sometimes it takes uswomen that's been through some
(37:34):
stuff, that God's brought us outof some stuff, to go speak life
into other people and to callthem up to their identity.
Because if we don't, who will?
SPEAKER_01 (37:43):
Right.
Right.
If we are not sharing our storyand
SPEAKER_00 (37:48):
not,
SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
you know, and I guess coming to the realization,
you know, your mom, when Iworked with your mom, she, you
know, she kept telling me, youneed to meet Debra.
You need to meet Debra.
You need to get with Debra.
You and Debra need to befriends.
You know, but it wasn't.
SPEAKER_00 (38:06):
Tom.
SPEAKER_01 (38:06):
Tom.
SPEAKER_00 (38:07):
Yeah, I was out there.
SPEAKER_01 (38:08):
Well, and I wasn't nowhere where I
SPEAKER_00 (38:12):
am today.
SPEAKER_01 (38:12):
You know, like I was, I was, still struggling
yeah right um you know there'sthere's a big controversy about
brandon lake and jelly roe it'sall over media social media
right brandon lake brought jellyroe in to sing hard fault
hallelujah right and uh and iwatched a uh a uh interview with
(38:33):
the two of them the other dayand you know and uh brandon lake
has just bought jelly roeeverywhere you know and jelly
roe will be the first to tellyou five years ago yeah i was
lost mm-hmm Yesterday when Iwoke up, I was still lost, but
I'm trying to figure it out.
And he said, the only thing Iknow for sure is that God is God
(38:56):
and he loves me where I am.
And he said, the rest of it, I'mworking on daily.
He admits he is not the holy manof God that Brandon Lake is.
SPEAKER_00 (39:10):
But Brandon's speaking life into him.
SPEAKER_01 (39:12):
But Brandon is speaking life into him.
And why, as Christians, do wefind that to be so awful?
I know.
Like, I mean, they are justbashing the crap out of him.
SPEAKER_00 (39:25):
Help them, Lord.
It
SPEAKER_01 (39:29):
makes me speechless.
Like, why?
Do you know the kind of peoplethat Jelly Roe, he is on tour
with Post Malone.
Do you know the kind of peoplethat come to Post Malone shows?
Do you know that may be the onlyopportunity these people hear
the name of Jesus?
(39:49):
Mm-hmm.
(40:15):
But he's been given theopportunity.
We should praise that and prayover it.
Right?
That might be the revival weneed to bring this country to
its knees.
But yet we...
Because it ain't what
SPEAKER_00 (40:31):
we think it should look like.
Society.
SPEAKER_01 (40:33):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (40:34):
You
SPEAKER_01 (40:35):
know what I mean?
I understand.
SPEAKER_00 (40:36):
Do it, Lord.
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
Give it to them.
UNKNOWN (40:39):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (40:39):
Proverbs 31.25, she is clothed with strength and
dignity.
She can laugh at the days tocome.
SPEAKER_00 (40:48):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (40:49):
You are clothed with strength and dignity.
You know, a woman has come outof an abusive relationship.
or a woman that has lost herchild to defects, or a woman
that has picked herself up outof the ditches, a man who has
(41:12):
lost his children because ofalcohol, who has lost his family
because of drug addiction, whoused to be the man that beat the
woman, you're clothed.
indignant and you have astrength that people will never
understand when you bringyourself out of the ditch you
(41:36):
know there is millions of waysto hit rock bottom but when you
find the way to out it is themost amazing thing that will
ever happen in your life yeahbut you gotta find the way out
yeah And the only way I've everfound the way out is Jesus.
(42:00):
Can you change what you believewithout changing what you feed
your mind?
Can you?
I don't think you can.
I truly don't think you can.
I love all kinds of music.
Love all kinds of music.
I have never been...
one kind of music kind of personright i've always liked r&b i've
(42:24):
liked rap i've liked alternativei liked grunge music you know i
like country music whateverspeaks to me you know and but
nowadays i like gospel music youknow and it's because it's what
speaks to me yes and i believewhat you listen with your ears
is what you hear in your heartyeah If you continue to hear
(42:47):
negativity, if you continue tohear bad things all the time, I
believe, you know, the lady fromFull House, Cameron Burr, I
think is her name, but they'regiving her a hard time because
she was on a talk show and shesaid that she's never seen a
(43:08):
horror movie.
She worked for Hollywood.
She's worked in Hollywood sinceshe was a kid, but she's never
seen a horror movie because shebelieves that that opens the
door for demons to come intoyour house.
I agree.
I agree that when you allowthings, because, I mean, some of
(43:29):
that stuff, where did it comefrom?
It could only have come from thedevil, right?
Right.
Some of these things you can'tthink up on your own.
Somebody is whispering thatevilness into your thoughts.
You know?
So let's get practical.
How you guard againstcomprehension and walk in God's
(43:53):
confidence.
You replace the lies withscripture and affirmation.
If you can't find affirmationyourself...
Find a friend that can
SPEAKER_00 (44:04):
help you.
SPEAKER_01 (44:04):
Yes.
Right?
People can speak it into
SPEAKER_00 (44:07):
your ear,
SPEAKER_01 (44:09):
but it can't just be them.
Right?
Once someone helps you, you haveto find your own feet.
Yeah.
You know, it's no different thangoing out here and getting
assistance.
Eventually, you've got to standon your own two feet.
Affirmation is the same way, butpeople can help lead you in the
right direction.
Right.
Follow accounts and triggers.
(44:30):
What triggers
SPEAKER_00 (44:31):
is insecurity.
SPEAKER_01 (44:32):
Unfollow accounts.
But what triggers thoseinsecurities?
What happens?
Recognize.
Recognize, right?
It took a long time for me torecognize my PTSD and what
triggered my PTSD.
And nowadays, I know what to do.
(44:54):
when something happens thattriggers my PTSD.
And it's not used to.
You see, I was taking a pillthat would knock me out, and I'd
wake up, forgot about what hadhappened.
Now I hit my knees.
Now I pray.
But you've got to figure outwhat those triggers are.
What are those triggers thatmake you mad?
What are those triggers thatmake you depressed?
(45:17):
What are those triggers thatmake you feel unworthy?
UNKNOWN (45:20):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (45:24):
And you can start a gratitude list.
SPEAKER_01 (45:26):
A gratitude
SPEAKER_00 (45:27):
list.
Gratitude changes your attitude.
I like to say that.
Oh.
Gratitude changes your attitude.
SPEAKER_01 (45:33):
It does.
It does.
And you know.
SPEAKER_00 (45:38):
My new Facebook post, by the way.
SPEAKER_01 (45:41):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (45:41):
I just thought of that.
SPEAKER_01 (45:42):
oh yep look it does though it does it really does
you know and uh we're not goingto go through the trials like
david did right we're not goingto be thrown in the lion's den
but are we we're not going to beyou know uh there's a song you
know it says uh we're not goingto be through you know we're
going to david was in the lion'sden and then three days later he
(46:05):
walks out alive and You know,and then you've got, you know,
the ocean and the walking acrossthe ocean, Peter.
And we're not going to ever seethose kinds
SPEAKER_02 (46:15):
of
SPEAKER_01 (46:16):
miracles, right?
Because Jesus isn't standinghere with us.
But what miracles do you see?
SPEAKER_02 (46:21):
What
SPEAKER_01 (46:22):
miracles do you see every day?
Don't tell me you don't becausethey're there.
Yeah.
I'm grateful.
I wake up every day.
Yeah.
You know, for a long time inaddiction, I used to tell
everybody, Oh, I ain't got toworry about it.
I'm not going to live to be 30.
I don't have to worry aboutthat.
I'm not going to live to be 30.
And then one day I turned 30clean.
(46:46):
You know, when I turned 30, Iwas clean.
My son was a few years old and,uh, I was struggling with who I
was and struggling with myidentity and my self worth.
And, uh, trying to figure outhow to be a mom how to love
myself you can't be a mom andnot love yourself right but I
used to not worry about it butnow I thank God every morning I
(47:11):
wake up you know and sogratitude doesn't have to be
huge it doesn't have to be thebig things in life you know I'm
grateful I can get out of thebed I mean as rough as I've been
on my body it makes me wonderwhy I'm not crippled or
Something.
I mean, I did some crazy things.
(47:32):
Yeah.
I mean, and I was in some crazycar wrecks.
And so if you would think I'd bea little bit more messed up.
And then speak blessings overyourself in the mirror.
Yeah.
Speak affirmation over yourselfin the mirror.
Look in your eyes when you'restruggling and speak
(47:56):
affirmation.
truth about yourself and i knowthat that's hard and i know that
when you're down and you'redepressed or when you know i am
chosen yeah god knows my name iam loved by him i am enough for
(48:20):
him you know um i had anassociate tell me the other day
they were like you know, you'veonly been here a week and you've
called me by my name threetimes.
And the other store manager washere for like 10 years and he
never called me by my name.
And I was like, okay, what didhe call you?
And she goes, well, I'm glad youcalled me by my name.
(48:41):
Like I took the time to read hername badge and I'm not the best
at it.
Right.
But for some reason I rememberedher name.
God knows she needed that.
SPEAKER_00 (48:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (48:52):
That recognition, you know, and sometimes it's
just that.
simple calling by his name callout to jesus call out to god and
say god i am chosen by you i amknown by you i am loved by you
(49:14):
and i am enough for you if youare struggling with this today
Buy a paint pen.
Write it on your mirror.
Write it on a sticky note.
Read it every day.
Stick it on the visor of yourcar.
Stick it in your purse.
You know, I stick sticky noteswhere my debit card is because I
(49:35):
know I'm going to reach for mydebit card at least three times
a day.
I like to eat.
You know, real.
You don't always have to justsay it out loud, but just to
read it.
It'll help.
It'll help with that.
You know, you are enough.
(49:56):
Every sister listening to thispodcast, you are loved.
You are chosen.
You were chosen to listen tothis podcast today.
You are enough.
I can't tell you enough how muchyou are loved.
And it's not because the way youlook.
(50:16):
It's not because you get a lotto like.
It's not about your status inlife.
It's not about whether you'repoor or you live in a big house
or you drive a nice car.
You are loved because the onewho created you, the one who
made you, you, loves you.
(50:36):
Yes.
Loves you, loves you.
Share this with a sister whoneeds to hear it.
And if you've got a daughter ora niece or a mentee, you've got
a son.
They need to hear it just asmuch as the girls.
Sit down with them and listen.
Listen together.
Tell them how much He lovesthem.
(50:58):
Tell them how much He coversthem.
Speak blessing over them.
Speak confidence over them.
Speak strength over them.
Let's keep this grace-filledconversation going until next
time.
Live loved, walk boldly, andremember you are not too much.
(51:19):
You are just enough.
You're God's masterpiece.
Deb, take us out in prayer.
SPEAKER_00 (51:26):
And Lord, I just pray that everyone, Amen.
(51:46):
We love you.
We love you.
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