November 20, 2025 • 10 mins
Relieve unnecessary stress at the end of life.
In this episode of Up Your Average, Keith and Libbi consider the challenges families face when dealing with aging relatives, particularly those with dementia or Alzheimer's. They discuss tools and strategies to help families navigate medical, financial, and personal responsibilities while maintaining a supportive environment for their loved ones.
You will learn:
→ Why you should document change as your parent’s age
→ How to organize medical, financial, and other documents
→ What to do when tragedy strikes
Want to use our aging well documents?
Reach out to us at https://www.gimbalfinancial.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Keith (00:00):
We are going to help a lot of people with this aging
(00:03):
process, and they don'tgenerally wanna be helped.
Libbi (00:07):
This is true.
Caleb (00:09):
Welcome to the Up Your Average podcast, where Keith and
Doug give no nonsense advice tolevel up your life. So buckle up
and listen closely to Up YourAverage.
Keith (00:29):
So we put this spreadsheet together to help
families be above average onthese things. And it's such a
difficult conversation that Ithink most people just don't
even have that conversation. Sothings start happening and
rolling downhill in a veryalmost catastrophic manner. So
(00:51):
this is a template that Gimbalhas put together for our
clients, and it's organized in away to help families start
thinking better about how tohelp other family members. And
so what we have here is it's atemplate that we can share with
our clients, and then we've put2025, 2026 on to 2029, and they
(01:16):
could then when they have it fortheir in their own Google files,
they can upload all the junkthey're getting.
Mhmm. They get, like, files andall those things. Mhmm. And I'm
guessing you've probablyexperienced that as you've
helped family members. There'sthere's mail and things that
come in.
Mhmm. And trying to organize,that's very difficult. So then
(01:37):
you can go into the 2025, and Ithink you just simply right
click and you can put a newfolder. So you can put a new
folder on doctor information ormedical information or medicine
information, and then you couldjust the clients could scan that
in there and then get rid of thepaper pile so they just don't
clutter their house, and thenthey've got access to it if they
(01:59):
need it. And this is a tool thatI use with my mom trying to help
organize her stuff.
And so that that gives them aplace to put stuff going forward
and clean out clean out thephysical clutter. Mhmm. We put
in here Alzheimer tip trip tipsand and strategies, a pocket
reference guide. When somebody'sstruggling with dementia
(02:21):
Alzheimer's Mhmm. They havedifficulty communicating the
elderly person as well as theyounger person, and there can be
conflict.
I don't know. Have you had anyof the dementia stuff that
you've had to help people withyet?
Libbi (02:37):
Yes. In my direct family, we do.
Keith (02:40):
Yeah.
Libbi (02:40):
So we've been just working through that just over
the last year or so. Justuncovering what that means. And
Keith (02:46):
Yeah. There's a big temptation to correct somebody
when they're doing And Idiscovered early on that they
they the dementia, Alzheimerpatient is literally like living
on another planet. And eventhough they know the English
language, their brain is notfunctioning in that way, and
trying to have a logicalconversation can create
unnecessary stress. And sothat's what this pocket guide
(03:09):
thing is. It gives you justconversation how to communicate
better without conflict.
Libbi (03:13):
That's nice.
Keith (03:14):
And then a lot of times that's created by by the
diabetes, and that that's just asummary of some ideas from that.
And then what we would do withmy mom is we would interview her
and have conversations, and thenput the stuff we learned in
there, in that grandma's storiesin there to store for her.
Libbi (03:35):
That's nice.
Keith (03:37):
And so that by reframing the situation, you can do some
productive things. And so that'sall of those things. And then
this was the key tool that Ithink our clients can benefit
from. It's a spreadsheet that iskinda anal for a spreadsheet
person like myself. But what Idiscovered is if you don't
(03:57):
journal these events, you don'treally know how bad things are
getting.
Mhmm. Particularly withAlzheimer's or dementia, because
you you don't remember how fastthey're repeating things. Yeah.
And so what I did with my mom isI put, Mom is repeating herself
every day. And I put the datethere.
And then a few months later,Mom's repeating herself five
(04:18):
times daily. And then that thatwould have been on the journal
of events. And so what that didis help me remember where we
were six months ago, a year ago.And then that would be helpful
as the family members workingwith an elder care physician or
somebody like that to help withthat.
Libbi (04:35):
That would be very helpful. We have with my family,
like a a mini version of this,but it's really more the
practical medical financialthings. And I think documenting
this category would be helpfultoo.
Keith (04:49):
And and the other thing is right up here, our clients
can go up there and share withwhoever they want in the like,
you click the share button, andyou just this right now is just
shared with Caleb and me becausewe put this together as a
starter point for our clients toshare this with them. And so
what we did then is shared itwith both my siblings. And so I
(05:10):
didn't have to call them everytime something happened. They
just had to go on this documentand click on it, and they could
read the latest things. Mommoved in with us, so that's why
I put in whatever your journalis gonna be is gonna be unique,
but I just said mom moved in10/1525.
And then you would just start Iwould put the most recent things
on top. Okay. Then we had tothen help take over her
(05:34):
finances, and I would delegateto my siblings' And if they had
to pay for something, I I didn'twant them to send them checks
every day. So we would writewhere expenses were at and what
so when those expenses occurred,here's one, you know, 12/08,
2014 that we they had to comeand stay at a hotel. So we we
(05:57):
put that in there.
Then once that was reimbursed, Iwould just go in there and
highlight green, meaning it waspaid.
Libbi (06:03):
Okay.
Keith (06:04):
And so that was just an easy way. I mean, there were
thousands of dollars we had toto monitor, and it was just an
easy way to not get stressed outby that. Then there were
consultants that we had to hire,and this is kinda what your
strong suit will be helping ourclients figure this out. And we
would put their name and theirtheir contact information. And
(06:28):
so, you know, if I was out oftown Mhmm.
And couldn't address the issue,then one of the other people
that were this document wasshared with could know all those
people, and they would have thehistory right there while
they're with the doctor.
Libbi (06:40):
Yep. That would be helpful.
Keith (06:41):
And then stuff to do is an ongoing challenge. Like, one
of the ones left in here wasdetermine when mom moved from
Evansville to Indianapolis area,we had to determine which
hospital system to plug herinto. And so this category of
things to do was health,facility, like where is she
(07:04):
living, possessions Mhmm. Herhouse, what are we gonna do with
her house, financial, and thenother to dos. It just gave us a
place.
When we identified those things,we put a date in there, then we
would just put a summary of it,then this would be delegated to
whoever's gonna do it, and thenthe completed date, and then we
just would keep adding to that.And then I put this from Stephen
(07:26):
Covey over here. It was a systemhe used to try to manage life
more appropriately, like what'surgent and not urgent, what's
important and not important. Andwe wanted to stay over here in
this not urgent but importantcategory Mhmm. So that our hair
wasn't burning all the time.
If you stay helping the elderlyover here in this quadrant one
Yeah. Not like really stressful,and your health is gonna go at a
(07:50):
cost. So we tried to avoid thatcategory as much as possible.
And that's what this whole kindaoutline was designed to help
people with.
Libbi (07:57):
Okay.
Keith (07:58):
Then we had some reminders for mom that she's
loved. And then the things thatshe would say that were problems
with her, like concerns, wewould just put those reminders
and then be sure to remind herof those. And then how when I
showed you the story aboutgrandma over her grandma's
stories, we had a list ofquestions should we ask her in
(08:20):
the spreadsheet. And so thatwould
Libbi (08:22):
I really like that.
Keith (08:23):
Yeah. That would really help build Yeah. Grandma's story
there. Can be grandpa too. I'mnot biased.
So I'm not a sexist, in caseyou're watching this. And then
we had amazing provisions,things that we couldn't explain,
and we listed all those becausethis is a stressful process. And
if you take the time to bethankful for what's happened, it
(08:45):
takes some of the pressure off.
Libbi (08:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
Keith (08:48):
And then a list of things I've learned, and I learned a
ton. And then those are thingsthat we can help other clients
and friends with, the thingsthat we've learned. Yeah.
Because you don't know what youdon't know till you get and
caught up in it can be verystressful. And then one of the
final things this did was justallowed a list of possessions.
(09:12):
I forget what the book is.Nobody Wants Your Stuff or
something like that that's outthere now that us baby boomers
and older don't realize thatnobody wants our stuff. And so
they don't want to know it, butyou wanna give people a chance
to Yeah. Grab that stuff if theydo.
Libbi (09:27):
So this is like siblings and family members who say
something that they would likethat would be meaningful The to
Keith (09:36):
the elderly person. But so that's that category mom's
wishes. Right? And and somebodyelse who might just designate
it. So if mom says, I want himto have welding stuff, then he
gets the welding stuff.
Right? I can so Chris must havesaid that he wanted the water
crystal glassware, and so itcould be either way.
Libbi (09:58):
Okay.
Keith (09:59):
Yeah. Because once things turn even worse and you gotta
get rid of stuff, that can beoverwhelming if you haven't
already identified the thingsthat need to be kept. And then
we we've got a podcast out therethat we've talked to with an
auctioneer about how to take itfrom the point that we've
already we've already addressedall these things to helping them
(10:22):
get rid of everything at thatpoint, because that's the next
step after you've identified thethings that the family actually
wants.
Libbi (10:28):
Okay.
Keith (10:29):
That's this cleanup template. I think it's a helpful
tool for our clients. And so anyof you that have questions or
like a copy of this, Libby isthe guru.
We are going to help a lot of people with this aging
(00:03):
process, and they don'tgenerally wanna be helped.
Libbi (00:07):
This is true.
Caleb (00:09):
Welcome to the Up Your Average podcast, where Keith and
Doug give no nonsense advice tolevel up your life. So buckle up
and listen closely to Up YourAverage.
Keith (00:29):
So we put this spreadsheet together to help
families be above average onthese things. And it's such a
difficult conversation that Ithink most people just don't
even have that conversation. Sothings start happening and
rolling downhill in a veryalmost catastrophic manner. So
(00:51):
this is a template that Gimbalhas put together for our
clients, and it's organized in away to help families start
thinking better about how tohelp other family members. And
so what we have here is it's atemplate that we can share with
our clients, and then we've put2025, 2026 on to 2029, and they
(01:16):
could then when they have it fortheir in their own Google files,
they can upload all the junkthey're getting.
Mhmm. They get, like, files andall those things. Mhmm. And I'm
guessing you've probablyexperienced that as you've
helped family members. There'sthere's mail and things that
come in.
Mhmm. And trying to organize,that's very difficult. So then
(01:37):
you can go into the 2025, and Ithink you just simply right
click and you can put a newfolder. So you can put a new
folder on doctor information ormedical information or medicine
information, and then you couldjust the clients could scan that
in there and then get rid of thepaper pile so they just don't
clutter their house, and thenthey've got access to it if they
(01:59):
need it. And this is a tool thatI use with my mom trying to help
organize her stuff.
And so that that gives them aplace to put stuff going forward
and clean out clean out thephysical clutter. Mhmm. We put
in here Alzheimer tip trip tipsand and strategies, a pocket
reference guide. When somebody'sstruggling with dementia
(02:21):
Alzheimer's Mhmm. They havedifficulty communicating the
elderly person as well as theyounger person, and there can be
conflict.
I don't know. Have you had anyof the dementia stuff that
you've had to help people withyet?
Libbi (02:37):
Yes. In my direct family, we do.
Keith (02:40):
Yeah.
Libbi (02:40):
So we've been just working through that just over
the last year or so. Justuncovering what that means. And
Keith (02:46):
Yeah. There's a big temptation to correct somebody
when they're doing And Idiscovered early on that they
they the dementia, Alzheimerpatient is literally like living
on another planet. And eventhough they know the English
language, their brain is notfunctioning in that way, and
trying to have a logicalconversation can create
unnecessary stress. And sothat's what this pocket guide
(03:09):
thing is. It gives you justconversation how to communicate
better without conflict.
Libbi (03:13):
That's nice.
Keith (03:14):
And then a lot of times that's created by by the
diabetes, and that that's just asummary of some ideas from that.
And then what we would do withmy mom is we would interview her
and have conversations, and thenput the stuff we learned in
there, in that grandma's storiesin there to store for her.
Libbi (03:35):
That's nice.
Keith (03:37):
And so that by reframing the situation, you can do some
productive things. And so that'sall of those things. And then
this was the key tool that Ithink our clients can benefit
from. It's a spreadsheet that iskinda anal for a spreadsheet
person like myself. But what Idiscovered is if you don't
(03:57):
journal these events, you don'treally know how bad things are
getting.
Mhmm. Particularly withAlzheimer's or dementia, because
you you don't remember how fastthey're repeating things. Yeah.
And so what I did with my mom isI put, Mom is repeating herself
every day. And I put the datethere.
And then a few months later,Mom's repeating herself five
(04:18):
times daily. And then that thatwould have been on the journal
of events. And so what that didis help me remember where we
were six months ago, a year ago.And then that would be helpful
as the family members workingwith an elder care physician or
somebody like that to help withthat.
Libbi (04:35):
That would be very helpful. We have with my family,
like a a mini version of this,but it's really more the
practical medical financialthings. And I think documenting
this category would be helpfultoo.
Keith (04:49):
And and the other thing is right up here, our clients
can go up there and share withwhoever they want in the like,
you click the share button, andyou just this right now is just
shared with Caleb and me becausewe put this together as a
starter point for our clients toshare this with them. And so
what we did then is shared itwith both my siblings. And so I
(05:10):
didn't have to call them everytime something happened. They
just had to go on this documentand click on it, and they could
read the latest things. Mommoved in with us, so that's why
I put in whatever your journalis gonna be is gonna be unique,
but I just said mom moved in10/1525.
And then you would just start Iwould put the most recent things
on top. Okay. Then we had tothen help take over her
(05:34):
finances, and I would delegateto my siblings' And if they had
to pay for something, I I didn'twant them to send them checks
every day. So we would writewhere expenses were at and what
so when those expenses occurred,here's one, you know, 12/08,
2014 that we they had to comeand stay at a hotel. So we we
(05:57):
put that in there.
Then once that was reimbursed, Iwould just go in there and
highlight green, meaning it waspaid.
Libbi (06:03):
Okay.
Keith (06:04):
And so that was just an easy way. I mean, there were
thousands of dollars we had toto monitor, and it was just an
easy way to not get stressed outby that. Then there were
consultants that we had to hire,and this is kinda what your
strong suit will be helping ourclients figure this out. And we
would put their name and theirtheir contact information. And
(06:28):
so, you know, if I was out oftown Mhmm.
And couldn't address the issue,then one of the other people
that were this document wasshared with could know all those
people, and they would have thehistory right there while
they're with the doctor.
Libbi (06:40):
Yep. That would be helpful.
Keith (06:41):
And then stuff to do is an ongoing challenge. Like, one
of the ones left in here wasdetermine when mom moved from
Evansville to Indianapolis area,we had to determine which
hospital system to plug herinto. And so this category of
things to do was health,facility, like where is she
(07:04):
living, possessions Mhmm. Herhouse, what are we gonna do with
her house, financial, and thenother to dos. It just gave us a
place.
When we identified those things,we put a date in there, then we
would just put a summary of it,then this would be delegated to
whoever's gonna do it, and thenthe completed date, and then we
just would keep adding to that.And then I put this from Stephen
(07:26):
Covey over here. It was a systemhe used to try to manage life
more appropriately, like what'surgent and not urgent, what's
important and not important. Andwe wanted to stay over here in
this not urgent but importantcategory Mhmm. So that our hair
wasn't burning all the time.
If you stay helping the elderlyover here in this quadrant one
Yeah. Not like really stressful,and your health is gonna go at a
(07:50):
cost. So we tried to avoid thatcategory as much as possible.
And that's what this whole kindaoutline was designed to help
people with.
Libbi (07:57):
Okay.
Keith (07:58):
Then we had some reminders for mom that she's
loved. And then the things thatshe would say that were problems
with her, like concerns, wewould just put those reminders
and then be sure to remind herof those. And then how when I
showed you the story aboutgrandma over her grandma's
stories, we had a list ofquestions should we ask her in
(08:20):
the spreadsheet. And so thatwould
Libbi (08:22):
I really like that.
Keith (08:23):
Yeah. That would really help build Yeah. Grandma's story
there. Can be grandpa too. I'mnot biased.
So I'm not a sexist, in caseyou're watching this. And then
we had amazing provisions,things that we couldn't explain,
and we listed all those becausethis is a stressful process. And
if you take the time to bethankful for what's happened, it
(08:45):
takes some of the pressure off.
Libbi (08:46):
Yeah, absolutely.
Keith (08:48):
And then a list of things I've learned, and I learned a
ton. And then those are thingsthat we can help other clients
and friends with, the thingsthat we've learned. Yeah.
Because you don't know what youdon't know till you get and
caught up in it can be verystressful. And then one of the
final things this did was justallowed a list of possessions.
(09:12):
I forget what the book is.Nobody Wants Your Stuff or
something like that that's outthere now that us baby boomers
and older don't realize thatnobody wants our stuff. And so
they don't want to know it, butyou wanna give people a chance
to Yeah. Grab that stuff if theydo.
Libbi (09:27):
So this is like siblings and family members who say
something that they would likethat would be meaningful The to
Keith (09:36):
the elderly person. But so that's that category mom's
wishes. Right? And and somebodyelse who might just designate
it. So if mom says, I want himto have welding stuff, then he
gets the welding stuff.
Right? I can so Chris must havesaid that he wanted the water
crystal glassware, and so itcould be either way.
Libbi (09:58):
Okay.
Keith (09:59):
Yeah. Because once things turn even worse and you gotta
get rid of stuff, that can beoverwhelming if you haven't
already identified the thingsthat need to be kept. And then
we we've got a podcast out therethat we've talked to with an
auctioneer about how to take itfrom the point that we've
already we've already addressedall these things to helping them
(10:22):
get rid of everything at thatpoint, because that's the next
step after you've identified thethings that the family actually
wants.
Libbi (10:28):
Okay.
Keith (10:29):
That's this cleanup template. I think it's a helpful
tool for our clients. And so anyof you that have questions or
like a copy of this, Libby isthe guru.
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