The Ship of the Dead

Guided by mysterious coordinates, the characters track down a derelict ship marooned in the polar wilderness.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Vikings and Valkyries, an actual play podcast. We are playing When the Wolf

(00:11):
Comes, a role-playing game set where the Vikings rule the sea and stars. My name is Ian Stuart
Sharpe and I will be your Master of Fury for the ongoing campaign which we call the Thought
and Memory Saga. Joining us to weave the web of war are Bill, Steve, CJ and Matt. Welcome

(00:33):
to you, worthy heroes.
Hi.
We're in deep trouble aren't we?
Well, well, well this is why I use the word worthy today because we do have a new guest
and frankly he was the one that I was referring to, not the rest of you. Matt Forbeck is an
author, game designer with a list of titles as long as your arm from Lord of the Rings

(00:55):
through Blood Bowl to the Marvel multiverse role-playing game. So Matt, the question for
you is amongst all those titles, which is your favorite? Which is the one that has made
you most worthy?
You're going to ask me a tough one. I think my favorite one is the one I did that was
still mine, it belongs to me. I've worked in a lot of great franchises over the years,

(01:18):
but there was a superhero dystopian game I came out with called Brave New World back
in 1999. And it's all about what happens when superheroes are outlawed and you can only
either work for the state or be an outlaw. And it predates the Civil War and the Marvel
comics by about eight or nine years. And it's what kind of rights are you willing to give

(01:41):
up in order to feel safe? Which is really a topical thing. It became very topical in
2001. That one I'm pretty proud of. And I actually have the rights back to it. So at
some point in my life, I'm going to do some more with it, although I'm just a little bit
too occupied with Marvel games, which is a good problem to have.
Yeah, exactly. So you've had the distinction of being the person to create a stat block

(02:05):
around Thor and Mjolnir. How much of a challenge was that?
It was a challenge actually. We kind of cheated from Mjolnir because we have this thing called
iconic weapons. We're like, OK, this is where we just stick everything into there as a grab
bag. I'm actually literally at this moment working on a new system that's going to go
in one of the next books that will allow people to build those on their own. So it won't be

(02:27):
cheating anymore. So I have to actually reverse engineer all the cheating that we've done
to this point to make it look like we knew what we were doing all along.
OK, quiz time. For your inspiration points, I'm going to ask you this marvelous question.
Can you name five differences between the Asgardians of Marvel Comics and the Aesir

(02:48):
of Norse mythology?
Thor was a redhead and not a blonde.
Here we go.
Costumes are different.
Costumes are different. Yes, very good.
Thank you.
That's from the archaeological record, that is it, Steve?
Yeah, well, they didn't dig up any Lycra or anything, did they?

(03:09):
The original guys didn't speak in rough Shakespearean, I'm pretty sure, which is pretty much how
Stan Lee translated everything back in the 60s.
Have at thee, right?
Yeah.
Not exactly a Viking saying.
Well, we use that one. We sprinkle that one in in this podcast from time to time.
That's the trick is the Marvel version has colored a lot of people's ideas about how

(03:33):
these things could be or how they were actually. But obviously now we have great things like
what you've been working on Ian, where there's historicity to it.
There we go, gentlemen. Matt Forbeck said historicity about...
Nice.
I used a big word.
Non-ironically, yeah.
All right. So, so far I've got the color of hair and the nature of their costumes.

(03:56):
And now I say this out of total respect for Idris Elba. Love the guy, great actor. But
I want to say the old Norse gods didn't have any one of African ancestry on their in their
family. I think they were all white.
Are you starting a Twitter style controversial flame?

(04:22):
I don't mind that Marvel has a diverse cast. Just in Norse mythology, I don't think. I
mean, we are talking about a mythology where Loki gave birth to a horse and a serpent and
weird stuff like that. So that's okay. But I'm just saying in general, as far as the
humanoid figures, there were just no, they were all white.

(04:44):
I actually think in terms of Heimdall, you can actually quote the edict poem Rigsthulr
or Rigsmal, which describes the different classes in Norse society from thralls to jarls.
And he assigns them all characteristics like ruddy faces and swarthiness or the blondness

(05:07):
of kings. And so, and so unfortunately touching into that slightly unparalleled territory
that comes with Vikings. But back in the day, they certainly thought in terms of hierarchy.
Anyway, we might just edit all of that. I went there.

(05:28):
Can you not do something like, for example, you talked about Loki in the Marvel universe.
Loki is Thor's brother.
He's a half brother descended from one of the from Lothi, the king of the frost giants.
So and he's abandoned on the battlefield after Odin defeats Lothi and picked up and then

(05:48):
taken back to raise as one of his own. So I assume that's different. But honestly, my
command of the originals is limited compared to my command of the Marvel stuff. I will
say the Marvel stuff, Thor and the entire group has gone through Ragnarok more than
once. I'd say that's probably a pretty substantial difference. I'd also suspect that the owner

(06:08):
didn't have the inscription on the hammer that says that only those who are worthy of
it will be able to wield the hammer and have the power of Thor.
That's true. And in order to actually wield will near in the first place, he had to use
both a girdle and some gauntlets to even be able to pick up the hammer. And he certainly

(06:31):
couldn't fly with the hammer. He actually drove round in a goat drawn chariot instead.
The best part about the hammer being the flying thing is it's Jack Kirby physics, right, where
you just swing it hard enough and then throw it. And the fact that you actually have it
attached to your wrist by a leather strap allows it to drag you to the skies. That's

(06:51):
pretty impressive. No personal injury either. I just want to
remind our team, we want to make sure we get the inspiration point tonight because we don't
want to break our streak of one. There's a streak of one, unfortunately, Matt. And Ian,
when you give an answer to the question you've asked, that still counts towards our total.

(07:11):
I'm pretty sure under Marquis of Queensbury rules, I believe.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, that sounds entirely legitimate. Yeah, thank you. I really tried not to crack
up halfway through that. All right. I think we have had a wonderful debate
there about the whys and wherefores of Norse gods. And so I will give you the inspiration

(07:34):
point. Use it wisely in the event ahead. Or at all. Because over the course of we're on
episode 13. Oh, that's unlucky. That's actually my lucky number. It's going to go really well
tonight. You win. You win. You win. And make a note of that.

(07:55):
Well, let's just hope that this supper isn't your last. We will dive into proceedings.
Hjálpmakaar has settled into months of monotonous darkness. The blue and grey polar twilights
give a different shade to each passing night as you stare out of the window under quarantine,

(08:19):
poured out of your minds. The Orcneas attack was thoroughly covered up and even whispers
of the assault were held in check by the lockdown that everyone was undergoing for Rabboon fever.
And so you haven't been able to leave your suite at the Raudrssen. And if you hope to

(08:40):
get any insights as to what the sons of Ivaldi had planned from Villiblom, your hopes are
dashed because Villiblom, Ivaldison is immediately transferred back to his remote weather station
and you hear nothing from him further. Then one morning you are surprised to find that
the quarantine is lifted and the sons of Ivaldi have claimed to have cured Rabboon fever. And

(09:05):
in its excitement people flock back into the town square, clasping arms and catching up
with familiar acquaintances. Now the Cooking Kettle has reopened and you take the opportunity
to meet your companion Alma for breakfast to discuss the strange box that was left in

(09:26):
your nooks and crannies with the note and coordinates attached. And so you sit down
in the Cooking Kettle ready to make your plans. Matt, your character sees these guys enter
and take a seat. We will pick up proceedings there and they will notice you perhaps as

(09:47):
you are a somewhat angry chap and you are sitting looking at the local newspaper with
a furrowed brow.
Ian, is the lockdown reference another example of your historicity?
Sure. I like to be topical. And if you haven't noticed...

(10:08):
Within a decade or so.
If you haven't noticed the entire campaign is pretty much Trump trying to steal Greenland.
You have that edition of the Weekly Runic. You've seen it before. It's the local rag.
It's produced by Krapti Thorfridsen and the law speaker. It's on display a bit like those

(10:29):
kind of sheets that you see in diners and it's on every table. So, Matt, over to you.
Hey, could you explain some of this stuff to me? It doesn't make any sense to me. A
lot of big words here. I see a couple names I know. What's going on here? They let us
out and now we all have this stuff to deal with.

(10:49):
I believe introductions are in order. I am Gryotgarth, the Magnificent.
I twirl my cape
And you are?
Named Sorkvir. Yeah, I'm Sorkvir inn lagi, the Short. I don't know why they call me that.
I mean, it's not my fault. I've been cut off at the knees more times than I can tell.
Pardon me. You needed help with reading?

(11:12):
Well, yeah, just some of the bigger words, you know. The head blows have really taken
a toll on me over this.
Oh, my friend the Tree is a master at translating big words into smaller words.
Small words. This is true. It is a gift. It is a gift.
This proprietress comes over Solveig and said, sir, Oh, hello, my dearlings. I haven't seen you

(11:36):
for many a moon now. Can I can I take an order for you? Oh, you you've been reading the local
rag. I see Krapti. He's moved on. That's a shocker innit? Says he's gone to Spann to see
his sister. I didn't even know he had a sister. Did you?
No, never heard of her.
Obviously wanted something a bit warmer than the local climate.

(12:01):
Doesn't he like dark? What's wrong with dark?
A lot of things are wrong with dark.
Did you want to eat anything?
Oh, I'd love to eat something.
Eggs.
I remember food. Food was nice.
Is there a surcharge for eggs? Just asking for a friend.
No, how would you how would you like them eggs?

(12:23):
Scrambled.
Scrambled eggs. All right, then.
Ljomi says I'll have some of the clean water you've given me in the past.
Yes, yes, yes. Always always last of the big spenders, aren't you?
There are limits to what I consume. I'll drink some.
I would like a big plate of most tartare.

(12:45):
Well, I'll see what the chef can whip up.
Fresh as you're going to get it.
Bloody.
Oh, yeah. Still got a little hoof on it. That's all right.
Well, I'll send someone out to have one shot right now.
Excellent.
She bustles off into the back to handle the order and get things underway.

(13:06):
But there are some headlines in the Weekly Runic that you might want to both read out and discuss.
In the background, can Ljomi cast that spell on Eir that reduces his trauma?
You want to stand behind air and scribble on him, etch his diamond form with runes.

(13:29):
Yeah.
You can indeed do that. I think it's a good opportunity actually just to help Matt out.
You must be wondering what on Midgard is going on when you're talking about scratching runes into a diamond-encrusted body.
I am Ljomi. I am an álfar, which means the spirit of a long dead warrior encased in the body of a tree.

(13:50):
I have a lot of fine friends that crawl up and down my body, some lichens growing as well.
I am in fact a beautiful representation of the natural world in total.
I have suffered greatly at the hands of my companions, one who, well, he won't understand anything I'm saying,
and the other who consistently, constantly, and forevermore betrays and irritates me,

(14:15):
whom I'm attempting to heal with some appropriate magic, even though he will not thank me for it.
That's very kind of you.
Nice to meet you.
I am Eir. I am a magnificent specimen of a male form in gleaming black stone,

(14:39):
encrusted with diamonds with a headdress that's reminiscent of a chandelier,
inhabited by a spirit by a long dead warrior, not as old as Eir, because that's impossible,
who was ripped forcibly from Valhalla and deposited here,

(15:02):
and is now apparently having someone to face his form.
What are you doing back there, Ljomi?
Fixing you, well, a little.
You can try, but...
So they're representative of the ljósálfar and the dökkálfar of Norse myth.

(15:24):
It just so happens that they turned out to be the odd couple.
R2D2 and C3PO is how I think it's...
Little bit on the left, right?
My character is not relatable to Star Wars. I'm a jöfurr which is a very large one, too.
I'm really tall, really wide, impeccably dressed, very rich.

(15:50):
And jöfurr are genetically enhanced, so I think I'm a god, more or less.
I'm also a silver medalist at the All Asgard Games for the Tonga Honk, the Tug of War,
and I like to remind people of it.
And Magnificent is in the moniker, Gryotgarth the Magnificent.

(16:12):
It is not a self-description, it is part of the moniker. It is given by others.
Think of him as Khan from the Wrath of Khan, but ditzy.
And more egotistical.
And more egotistical.
Well, funny enough, when I came up with the jöfurr. Jöfurr comes from the Norse myth.

(16:37):
It means king or prince, these boar-headed characters from the 9th or 10th century.
And I just thought of Hemsworth when I was getting the pictures, drawing the designs,
it was just that typical Lunkhead, which CJ plays with great style.

(16:59):
If he won the silver and he's called Magnificent, what do they call the person who won the gold?
He's dead.
And Matt, Sokvir, he isn't quite so pretty, is he?
I've lost a finger, a few teeth and an ear in battles because I like to fight.

(17:22):
Fighting is what we're here for. We're not fighting what the hell we're doing.
So the fact that you guys are dancing around, that's all great,
but we need to go out there and eat some moose and find some moose and find other things to kill.
Funny enough, in terms of moose-tartar, Steve's character was actually killed in the Battle of Kalka by a,

(17:44):
Tatar Arrow, about 800 years ago.
Yeah.
If you've got a...
Oh, I like to say I was an adventurer until I took an arrow to the knee and a sword through the head.
And just not a fan of anything Tatar, but hey, you do you.

(18:05):
I didn't mean to bring up bad memories, but you know, it seems like at least you died well, right?
I did. I died very well. I was carried off to Valhalla and enjoyed myself there until I was torn away from it.
And I seek to return somehow.
You should all be so lucky as to end up in Valhalla. There's a flurry of activity.

(18:26):
The meals are delivered to your table, plunked down in front of you for you to satiate yourself with a great gusto.
Gigi looks down at the eggs and raises his hands and goes,
Woman, you are a miracle worker. I didn't ask for this, but here behold the flesh of Sæhrímnir, the boar from Valhalla.

(18:49):
What a delight! This is much better than eggs and likely cheaper.
I can't say that I did anything special with your scrambled eggs, but thank you for the compliment.
Oh, spare me the false humility and take the praise, woman. Now go, allow me to eat.
You notice that you've sat down and you've looked through those headlines, but not only is Krapti Thorfridson

(19:17):
the one of the headlines saying that he is no longer in town and has left, but your dining companion Alma has not arrived on time.
Oh, that's concerning.
She may be off to find her own breakfast, you know, on the hoof, as it were.
That's how you get it fresh.

(19:38):
Companions, I'm wondering about this Church of the One Zero.
It's tickling something in the back of my mind, the One Zero, the One Zero. Feels like things we've run into.
You're referring to the top headline in the weekly runic?
Did we run into Ones and Zeroes?
At the end of last episode, Blaine Ivaldison had mentioned the Church of the One Zero in passing, but you don't know much about it.

(20:07):
Perhaps it's some kind of bizarre newfangled cult.
And yet building a new church.
And Krapti's left, someone new is coming, the governor left, Alma hasn't shown up, the ships aren't going, and apparently there's a new animal that looks quite interesting.

(20:30):
We should go try and find it.
New, terrifying at least. We should go find one and feed some humans to it.
Is it terrifying compared to you? I can't see it.
This says it's terrifying. I don't know. I don't...
Gigi's looking at the two of you really hard.
He's thinking he's putting two and two together, and he says, doesn't Krapti have the deed?

(20:56):
No, I have the deed. And actually, I wish to speak to you about that.
Oh, good. In a more private location.
And Krapti can go to wherever he went.
Yes. I'm happy.
Well, my dearlings, I don't want to hurry you out, but you do need to make preparation for the big storm that's going to be blowing in.

(21:17):
That says right there, there's a blizzard warning. Shelter in place advisory. The winter wiser telling everyone for the next 72 hours.
When does the storm arrive?
Well, I don't know. I'm not a weather teller, am I? I run the diner. I just tell you what I see on the weekly runic.

(21:38):
Sorry I asked. Do we have those coordinates?
Yeah, I have coordinates. I have coordinates. That guy, Bell Donkey. I can't quite remember what his name is.
Bell Donkey.
Rauder Cerden
Yeah, that's what I said.
We're actually pretty close on that one. Yeah.
Yeah.
If you randomly say enough consonants and vowels, you might get somewhere close like monkeys looking at a typewriter and getting Shakespeare.

(22:08):
It's a bit like the Welsh poetry I used to read in translation, but they leave the names with all the consonants.
Okay, coming back to reality. Yeah, Bell Donkey gave me the raven skull and some coordinates. Maybe we should go there.

(22:31):
How far away is that location in the coordinates? Has someone done some navigation things?
Ljomi hands it to Eir. Ah, maybe I should try to do some navigation things.
Do you have any skills that purport to do something with these navigation things you speak of?

(22:56):
He's using technical language, so clearly there's some level of knowledge.
Let's see. No, no. No.
I was a wilderness prospector. Maybe he should hand it back to me.
Yeah, no. Okay, that's the closest we got so far.
Gigi, how good are you at navigating?

(23:20):
Navi-what?
Yeah.
Oh, hey. Sorkvir. Are you a navigator by any chance?
I can find where to put my axe. That's about it.
A good skill. That's a strong one. Yeah, strong skill.
Do we have a map?
You have a map in the main rule book.

(23:43):
Oh, I-Ljomi is going to step outside and use tree sight.
Use tree sight to try and understand, like, sense if there really is a storm coming, because there seems to be a lot of very confusing news.
I want to use all my tree-y skills.
So tree sight is the arboreal ability to tap into those tree-like senses and detect changes in pressure and light and chemicals, all that kind of thing.

(24:13):
It doesn't help you forecast the weather three days out.
I'll just keep trying. Eventually I'll get a winner.
You will in 71 hours of the 72.
We have a map of the region. Is that the one we're looking at, Ian?
Yes. And so you could-you would surmise that, especially since Villibron came from that direction originally, somewhere on the far east of Heimslit, out on the ice, on the sea ice, where the former archipelago has frozen into one landmass because of the storm.

(24:53):
The landmass because of the sea turning to ice in the Fimbulvetr in the great winter that was brought about by the Swordfall.
You would imagine that somewhere out on those ice sheets is where the coordinates are, but without any scientific equipment or any skills yourself, it's very difficult for you to pinpoint the exact location.

(25:17):
I do remember the skíðverg that you used were quite adept at allowing you to plug in coordinates and drive to a certain location.
But the skíðverg that you were using, Meganfjord, that came as the companion or sidekick to Villiblom has presumably been ridden off into the night by the Son of Ivaldi.

(25:40):
Let's-okay, can we guess, and understanding this as a guess, roughly where on the map it is, is it within-can we get there within a day, for instance?
Can we get to the neighborhood within a day?
By which means?
Well, feet or pseudopods, nothing else. What else do we have?

(26:03):
We could rent skíðverg's, maybe, from-what's his name?
For some reason I can never remember his name. Everyone else I'm fine with, but the guy who runs the shop.
Yeah, oh yeah, because you're fine with the rest of them.
He's literally called Gunnar and he's at Gunn's store.
Hmm. Yeah.
Oh, you see why I can't-you see why I can't hold onto it. Yeah. That's just crazy. Who could remember that?

(26:26):
Who had the sleds again?
Yeah, good-yeah, how about sleds with sled dogs? Or both?
That was Gunnar as well, was it not?
That was Gunnar as well. While you were standing in the street outside of the cooking kettle, trying to detect in vain the oncoming storm,
a man in green robes approaches you, clearly related in some fashion to the Sons of Ivaldi.

(26:52):
They color-code themselves according to their wealth.
Wealth, this gentleman comes up and he says, I say greetings, esteemed resident. I stand before you as a humble envoy of the Church of the One Zero.
May I share with you a bite of the limitless wisdom from our shared neural network?

(27:14):
Holy mackerel.
That's a lot of big words there, I don't know.
He jumped from the-from the European continent. I'm really impressed with the accent.
Uh, no thank you, Ljomi offers.
Uh, you would refuse the Church?
Uh, Paul?
It has been just five short years since the Doom, when the rapists and murderers of Náströnd destroyed the great supercomputer MIM the Rememberer.

(27:43):
We are having a Remember the Rememberer service just this evening, and we would like you and your brethren to attend.
Where is this?
Why, on the-on the side of the-
Are there free drinks?
We do not imbibe, sir. We do not imbibe.
Not even water? Seems painful.

(28:04):
We hope to transcend this mortal form. That is our divine purpose in the Church of the One Zero.
Now, uh, a little bird tells me that you know Rauder Cerden. Is that the case?
Yes, that's right. I remember that.
Point of precision, uh, Gryotgarth is still eating, right? Inside. So he's not outside. So is it just Naomi who's outside?

(28:33):
Ljomi was the only one outside. If the, uh, if the interaction tickles you a fancy bit, you know, if you're interested, you can always peer out of the window and join them shortly.
Yeah, I'm just gonna eat.
Oh.
Um, specifically, we'd like to ask the voices in his head, will the storm be here within 24 hours?

(29:01):
Oh, so you have the Seer in the Ear ability that enables you to ask a yes-no question in the DM, and the answer to your question is no.
Okay.
So the man outside says, where are my manners? My name is Steingrimmer, and I am from the southern part of this here north.

(29:23):
The southern north, okay. Sure.
Well, when the Viking Hegemony takes over the entirety of Midgard, then even these accents make kind of sense in the, in the universe.
So, my friend, I see that birds of a feather, they flock together, and I may be here killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.

(29:48):
Your name is Steinbiner?
Steingrimmer, sir. Steingrimmer.
Steingrimmer, yes, yes.
Now, ordinarily, eagles, they don't catch flies, but I do believe that the early bird catches the worm. If you catch my drift, sir.
Nothing entirely. I think you should speak to our companion inside. I think you two will get along really well. He's just in there eating eggs.

(30:17):
I think he'd be most interested in your message.
If he is a man of wealth and distinction and means, I will happily take his coin on my golden platter.
Yes, exactly what I was thinking.
Hello, sir. I do not mean to interrupt your breakfast. You look like a hale and hardy fella who needs such sustenance, but I am here collecting donations for the Church of the One Zero, which we will be building in the days to come.

(30:46):
I'm sorry. Wait, wait. Who the fuck are you?
You may regard me as an envoy of a great meme. Surely you know that the noble souls who met their fate of Mimisbrunnr, that their sacrifice, it echoes throughout all eternity.
May I humbly request a donation to support our noble church as a way to honor them, keeping their wisdom alive in our sacred traditions.

(31:17):
So Gigi reaches into a pocket and pulls out a penny and puts it in. Is this enough for you to bugger off?
Well, sir, you will remember that amidst the storm, the Skuld stood firm against the orcneus. Their spirit remains with us.
Might I ask you to consider a more generous donation to further the knowledge that they fought for?

(31:43):
Between you and me, the donation I gave was to kill the orcneas. I threw a rubber ducky at one.
It happened.
Yeah, he did. Right, forgot.
And you, sir, you may feel an ancestral yearning, a call. Will you not contribute to the wellspring of the tradition that we cherish and uphold?

(32:14):
He's looking at Eir.
He is.
Eir turns back at him, his chandelier-like headdress jingling slightly.
I have appreciated. I have no use for money, but I'm interested. Please tell us more about your church's message.
The message of the Church of One-Zero is this, that you must all beware the impending doom of nonintegration, because the wrath of MIM awaits those who reject the fusion of flesh and steel.

(32:47):
Oh, one of those guys.
You must heed this transmission to avoid the deceit of Yggdrasil and her álfar. Her so-called scream brought about these most potent of all threats.
And they seek to infiltrate and corrupt our systems, turning our very ancestors against us.

(33:09):
So Gigi's looking at Err and says,
Err, my friend, there's something on you. Come closer. He beckons him to kind of lean over the table a little bit.
He reaches out like he's gonna swat something away, and then he picks off a diamond.
And then he puts it on the guy's plate and says, Is that enough? Will you leave now? Thank you.

(33:34):
That, sir, is just recompense for when the dökkálfar stole our diamond mines. I will take this and I hope that there'll be many more where that came from.
He looks over now to you, Max, and he says, Err.
And you, sir. Do you honor the wisdom and the logic of the mighty MIM? Failure to observe its calculations and the Electron's dance will leave thee wandering aimlessly in the labyrinth of illogical circuits.

(34:03):
I'm a little short on, er, on, er, with the flesh. You are a little short, sir. I'm more than a little short.
But, er, they happen to split my moose tartar. As I have told your fine companions, we have no need for material sustenance, but we seek our salvation in the glory of MIM.

(34:24):
Well, I suppose you're a problem that's gonna solve himself real quick, then. Well, that's mighty kind of you to say so, sir.
And with that, he starts to make his way out of Cooking Kettle.
Solveig is scowling at him as if the priest really isn't wanted in her establishment. She doesn't want proselyting anywhere near her scrambled eggs.

(34:50):
And he turns to you one more time and he says, You, sirs, may be free as a bird right now, but mark my words, changes are coming.
I hate beggars. They give me the creepy crawlies. Maybe you could make change with a diamond, huh?
He only comes back in and says, clearly an anti-alfite.

(35:13):
Wow.
I propose we leave at once. The storm won't be here for 24 hours.
If we can get to the coordinates within 24 hours, all should be well. Also, I hate this town and I hate zealots.

(35:35):
How are we to travel there? How are we to get there?
One thing at a time.
If we arrive there in 24 hours, the storm will be upon us, will it not?
The voices in my head say no.
I am not certain we should take their word for it.
Have they ever failed us in the past?

(35:57):
Have we ever succeeded?
At anything?
Well, I mean, fourth, fifth time's the charm, I'm sure.
I see no reason why we shouldn't go out into the wilderness based on the voices in my head to trace some coordinates before a killer blizzard arrives.
It's either that or stay here in this horrible town with the zealots.

(36:20):
It's as good a plan as any we've ever had.
And we're all still alive? Well, we are.
Do you all recall that Gunner has a warehouse with lots of things and trinkets and potentially tanks?
Could we rent a tank, borrow a tank, steal a tank? That's not ordinary.
We should go to the rented tank.

(36:42):
We could challenge Gunner to a home gang and take his tank.
And my friend who likes to put axes in heads could be the man to fight for.
Oh, that's true. Our last holmgang, we didn't have him.
For the benefit of Matt, I would like to point out that there isn't a warehouse with a tank in it.

(37:03):
And you can't necessarily challenge people to duels and steal their tank in this honorable society.
But that doesn't stop them being continually deluded.
They're thinking outside the box.
We're trying to bring some consistency to our performance.
And yet compared to the zealots, we're the sane ones.

(37:24):
As brunch rolls into lunch and rolls into afternoon tea and the moose tartar remains slightly limp on the table in front of you,
something seismic happens in the skies above, in the dark blue twilight of the Polar Night.

(37:46):
The crowds are gathering, almost electric with excitement, as something descends through the clouds.
A wooden hull, ironwood hull, protrudes through the dark clouds, silently drifting above Hjálpmakaar.
And soon its whirlers catch the moonlight as they tumble down like snowflakes on the breeze.

(38:13):
An Imperial drakkar has arrived unexpectedly.
And it seems that half of the townsfolk are gathered at the Temple of the Bear and are gazing skyward.
How about now? We could leave now.
We could challenge those guys for their ride.

(38:34):
We could go to the Temple of the Bear. I know it.
We just need them to offend me in some way to justify the duel.
And then we send in the new guy, is what you're saying.
And I would like to point out to our team that the lack of a plan is not exactly the same as a plan.

(38:57):
We've spent the whole day talking in the diner, accomplishing nothing.
I think this may be our lowest point yet.
The voices in my head have a clear plan.
One of the reasons why I wanted to talk about Mjolnir and Thor at the top of the episode is because
those elements of worthiness, as far as Mjolnir is concerned, are selflessness, sacrifice, and doing without thinking,

(39:22):
acting without self-awareness.
And I think you're demonstrating all of them all in one go.
So you nailed it.
Clearly are worthy.
Go team.
I'm going to go outside and see what the hell this thing is.
It just landed in the fire.
I know, Ljomi says. Let's follow the new guy.

(39:44):
It hasn't landed because these orbital ships use whirlers, which are drop ships, delivering troops to the surface.
In the Vikingverse, the dragon ships of old are brought to life in the form of ironwood.
They look a little like a tree growing in reverse.
The Norse shipwrights have used an accelerated cambion grafting process to create these that are load bearing heartwood onto a skein of bark.

(40:15):
And so these ironwood ships, this suit of Mimimitha armor, protects the ship from impacts and solar storms in the extremes of the Ginnungaap.
And this is how the Empire projects its power with these massive fleets. And this dragon ship does represent the epitome of imperial might and power.

(40:38):
Right. So instead of leaving, we were going to some of us want to solo the Dreadnought.
Eir will take pictures.
We could do both.
We could.
What was the name of the ship that we're supposed to be investigating or that had the nail there?
So Gigi is going to just exclaim as he as he does.
Could this be the ship that we were told of?

(41:02):
Let's go look. Let's see.
Let's go see it.
Perhaps steal it.
Let's go.
I don't even know you guys.
I'm ready for anything.
Apparently.
Think of this boost charge.
You think in a similar way to us.
Welcome and well met.
Ljomi starts to walk towards the Temple of the Bear.

(41:26):
Okay. At the Temple of the Bear, you notice the Steingrimmer, the new godsman that you've just met, has reached it before you and is delivering a rousing sermon to the assembled townsfolk who are still gawping at the drakkar above.
He says, I say, brethren, we have reached childhood's end. Great Odin gave life to Ask and Embla and threw them to all mankind.

(41:54):
But did not the gods also take worms from the flesh of Ymir and give them also understanding?
Did we menfolk not arise from the soils of Mother Jord at the same time as our brother Dvergar?
It is time we took the next step of our evolution.
It is time to unite man and machine.

(42:17):
It will be the hour of decision for many of you who will receive the spirit of MIM today.
Your life will never be the same.
Your body will never be the same.
Shall we pray?
No.
How is this being received?

(42:40):
With rapturous attention.
I wonder why this guy was asking for money when clearly he's not going to need it very shortly.
But hey, I'm still reeling from the childhood's end reference.
Why don't you please, Ljomi, give me a wits roll and you can use your wisdom of the ages.

(43:03):
Yes, of course. You know, that wisdom you have.
The wisdom, all that wisdom.
You exhibit on an almost minutely basis.
A minutely. Just one second. I've misplaced my character sheet. There it is.
OK, a wits roll.
You want the 20 sided one?
20 sided wits.

(43:24):
Yeah, I rolled a nine, but on wits I get a plus three.
And then the...
Very fine.
OK, good.
You make note, it filters into your tree-like sponge of a brain,
that the gentleman in question, Steingrimmer, had repeated the word bird an innumerable number of times.

(43:50):
Bird.
Almost as if he knows something.
As you approach the Temple of the Bear, you stroll up the gravel path towards the creature.
He looks at you again and over the top of the crowd points an accusing finger in the direction of your group.

(44:14):
I came here unguarded on my own reconnaissance to see these spirits for myself.
I say these filthy creatures are filching your livelihoods and stealing your legacy.
There it is.
Look there!
He's turned. There we go.

(44:35):
These álfar, who refuse to remain in their barrows but steal our capital city while we were at war.
Denizens of the dark.
Sir, these are diamond dogs who flaunt their wealth in this barren town.
And there, this so-called jarl, the degenerate who brought rabboon fever into our midst with his jötunn fish.

(45:00):
Did you know he is immune to the disease?
He and his kind engineered the pestilence in a laboratory, much like he was conceived himself in a petri dish.
And there, the alfar, who claims to help with the undoing of the great winter.
But he is the very reason it exists.

(45:23):
Didn't the álfar in all of their teeming multitudes erupt in the wake of the Swordfall, treating us as if we were the very disease to purge?
They are unwanted, unclean relics of another age, sir.
And they must be cast out.

(45:44):
I do not know about their short companion, but...
I say we string them all up!
I think I need to throw my axe into this guy's skull.
That's... Ljomi steps beside air and says, I can tell you want to kill him.
Yeah, I don't think this is going to go any other way.
So, let's see.

(46:06):
Matt, you do have a series of abilities related to your Berserk encounter.
You could go Berserk and charge Steingrimmer
Yeah, I think he's pissed me off enough. Why not, you know?
I think that's a good idea.
How many people are here?
Probably more than us.
Yeah, half the town would be several hundred, but a Berserk full of wrath and rage could cut a swore through them or just bustle through them to take on the preacher.

(46:39):
It was a fair fight.
I want a word with you!
I'll bite the shield, go at them.
Alright.
This is more comfortable than all that talky talk.
So, we'll use this traditional combat rules, Matt, which are fast turn and slow turn.
I'm sure since you know Rob and have probably played Shadow of the Demon Lord, you know all about that.

(47:03):
So, we will give you a fast turn and you would be able to use the charge action to cover the gap between you and Steingrimmer.
Assuming that you've been inching your way towards him as he's been speaking, you can close the gap by rushing him with a charge.
And since you're Berserk, you're going to make your attack roll with two woes, but you will do two die six extra damage.

(47:32):
We're in bad shape because I just rolled five plus eight.
Five plus three is eight minus the... well, I got two on each of those.
That's a six total.
That's right in tradition with our rolling.
Not to worry.
Foaming at the mouth, biting your shield and we'll give you more.

(47:54):
You have a Dane Axe, do you not?
Some kind of long axe, I think.
So, you swirl your axe lustily above your head, creating a crescendo of might and mayhem.
But it slices the air above the preacher instead and leaves you exposed to a counter attack of both the preacher and his guard,

(48:22):
who start to appear having dropped from the drakkar above.
It's apparent that there are Imperial soldiers in league with this preacher, in league with the sons of Ivaldi.
And they very quickly come to his aid.

(48:43):
The preacher himself yells at you, I say, unbeliever, you will burn in the fires of hel.
That's obviously hel, with one l.
Of course.
Right.
Yes.
He uses his turn to retreat and so avoids...

(49:05):
I'm back here, you coward!
He avoids...
I'm behind the Imperialists.
He avoids that attack of opportunity.
Did anyone else want to do anything concurrently?
Yes, yes, please.
I am going to... I want to cast Dream Sight, please.
So, Dream Sight is a gift that you have that enables you to not be surprised or to change a weal into a worm.

(49:31):
It's probably not the one you mean.
Do you mean Dream Monster?
Yes, yes, Dream Monster and then Dreams...
Yeah, okay, I'll use Dream Sight as I need it.
Dream Monster is what I'm going to use.
Yes, amazingly, you knew the correct answer.
Yes, it's almost as if I wrote the thing.
A note to me, yeah, almost as if.
So, that enables your fylga, your ancestral spirit, to render you invisible, to distract attention from you.

(50:02):
And so, in effect, you are immune to prying eyes.
Okay, Steve, what did you want to do?
I think I know.
You can probably guess.
Eir will use the Glamour Sight gift on himself, which causes him to...
he gets a little shorter, a little smaller and looks like the most nondescript looking human possible for the next hour.

(50:31):
So, one of you has gone invisible, one of you is blending into the ground.
This is heroism.
Are you... are you... kind of... yeah, worthiness is exuding.
I'm going to run out of friends. Come on!
CJ, what is your plan for that round?
I'm going to cast Wish Hour.

(50:54):
You sense the immediate future.
For the duration, your movement does not trigger free attacks.
You impose two woes on attack rolls made against you,
and you make slight challenge rolls with two wheels to resist attacks.
And other harmful effects.
So, I'd like to see how this plays out in the near future, so I can assess how to respond.
So, that's the sort of spell that you cast if you're planning to make a hasty retreat without being encumbered by crowds.

(51:22):
Matt, we'll go back to you for the top of the next round,
and you may take another swing of your sublime and sharp axe.
Do I have less woe this time, at least?
Yes. Actually, it just occurs to me that because you are an Oathsworn, that the situation should reverse now.

(51:45):
And so, roll with two weals.
Alright. Let's say I got a 12 plus 3 is 15, plus 2 is 17.
Then please do roll your damage.
Okay. So, 3d6 plus 3.

(52:06):
Your weapon attack is going to do another dice 6 because of weapons prowess.
And you can either choose to attack again or deal with weapons expertise an additional 1 dice 6 damage.
So, you can potentially roll an extra 2 dice 6 if you like then.
Let's do that.
Plus 10, 22 points.

(52:27):
And should you wish to take that inspiration point that you so...
Yes, please.
...you can take the worst of your rolls and transform it into a 6.
I would add another 5 to it, so it would be 27.
27 damage.
The axe falls like an executioner's blow and decapitates the priest in one fell swoop.

(52:54):
That's the way you do it.
Your
Heroism is potentially short-lived, however, as you are pretty much surrounded by the creme de la creme of Imperial forces,
Varangians in the service of the Emperor and somehow linked to this church of the One Zero.

(53:17):
And they...
Hey, there's nobody left to defend. Come on.
I think they're going to be defending Honor and also dealing...
...meting out Swift Justice.
There is a firing squad, unfortunately, lined up against you.

(53:38):
They do not care about the crowd that is surrounding you and they mercilessly gun down everyone in your immediate facility.
You take 72.
Whoa!
That seems bad.
I hope he's okay.
72? How many do I have? I'm looking here.

(54:04):
It'll be not that many, is my prediction.
Yeah, I'm sure it's not.
I am doomed. I'm beyond doomed.
Oh, there it is. 45.
Nope, definitely not that many.
The instant death rolls kick in. Unfortunately, this is a bloody and gruesome game.
You are riddled with Imperial bullets and fall, twitching to the ground, on your way to Valhalla, at least.

(54:34):
I died well in battle.
Did.
That's all I really wanted, so...
A poet of carnage.
You did indeed, and that's going to require a little bit of a rewrite on my part, you killing the main preacher of the church of 10.
Nice work.
Well done. One of the best deaths yet.
I suppose I could have stopped him.

(55:02):
Thank you so much for showing up and sitting and listening to this drivel.
I went to Valhalla, that's all I really cared about, so I'm very happy with our turn back.
And I made a mark for you guys, hopefully that guy won't be replaced immediately.
We're busy running away right now, but we will think of you later.

(55:25):
Yeah, that was glorious.
The crowd erupts in frenzy and panic as the Imperial guards begin to mow people down with abandon.
How about now? Should we leave now?
So Gigi's in shock and he says, he cries out,

(55:49):
By Odin's beard, I've seen the mayflies on Ljomi live longer than that man was with us.
He died well, quick, but well.
We all need to get out of here still.
You said you wanted to go somewhere. Lead the way. The voices in your head were right.

(56:15):
I'm not going to say I told you so.
I'm hoping we can go and get some sort of vehicle like a dog sled or an inner tube or something to help us get across the landscape.
But I have a feeling it might be a bit pandemonium at the moment for that.
There's a warehouse with a tank.

(56:36):
The tank warehouse.
I heard that too.
Yeah, run by tanky tankers.
I'm slightly overtired and a little bit thingy.
Just so the rest of you are aware, I have extra trauma.
So my new tick is I believe things that aren't true.
So one of them is the wild boar Sæhrímnir that is eaten at the feasts in Valhalla and then is reborn every day to be recooked and re-eaten.

(57:07):
So I think all the food that I eat is him.
That's why you heard me say, you know, compliment because I thought I was getting eggs that I got delicious boar's meat or so I think.
And then the other one that the other one that I have is I'm convinced that there is a warehouse with a tank and I'm going to die on that hill.
Very specific.

(57:29):
So I'm going to give you the I'm going to give you the old Norse tank so that you can I'm going to give you two bits of good bits of old Norse.
Your pronunciation is actually always relatively impressive.
So I'm going to put two bits of old Norse in chat there for you to use as you see fit.
A skriddrekki.
Oh.

(57:50):
So skriddrekki is a tank.
And then there's also another word there that may be useful for you is what Bill and Steve have been doing all along with people putting them in front of them for the purposes of isbjorn.
Kjǫtskjǫldr
On the meat shield.

(58:11):
We should get some.
We had one.
It just died.
Yes.
It worked great.
So shall we go see Gunner and find and ask him about the tank in the warehouse.
Yes.
Yes.
Failing that any vehicle.

(58:35):
So the brief burst of invisibility from the dream monster gift the glamour site, which has enabled you to blend into the crowd.
That's fine for you to to make your escape.
And then what are you saying Gigi that your spell that you cast enables you to drift through the crowd because you were effectively able to see into the future and find the best part.

(58:59):
Matrix bullet time.
Yeah, I can see I can see the immediate future so I could see what was about to happen.
So that I could as in the words of the words of my character from Dungeons and Dragons so I could misty step the F out of there.

(59:22):
And that's pretty much as what has happened so that shimmer dissolve to Gunners Gun store as you flee hell melt through the streets of the town, dancing between the various buildings and the electric strobe lighting or neon signs that glare out of the darkness, all the way to Gunners rather decrepit store.

(59:48):
And once again you may look for the man you know and love.
And every time I do his voice.
I hear Steve wince.
God.
He is what he thinks he wants.
Beautiful arms laden bastard you.

(01:00:12):
Oh my god.
Nice way.
Have you seen the Imperial Drakkar.
Why on earth are they sending troops to the back of beyond.
It makes no sense.
You mean the floating tax collector with sales.
Oh my god you don't think they're here for that do you.
I'm overdue by decades.

(01:00:33):
Of course they're here for that.
Well I have a proposition for you.
I'm willing to buy.
You mentioned a tank in a warehouse that we could rent.
I don't think I did.
You did.
I said I knew.
I'll get anything.
But I might have shall we say over egged that pudding.

(01:00:54):
In a different universe.
Wait the timeline did restart.
Did the universe change.
Did he did he have a tank in the other universe.
Is that what I'm missing.
You have a take a screen.
In that that's true.
Your conversation with him never took place.
It's complicated to explain.

(01:01:17):
You did tell me that you had it.
It was under duress.
I know you have one.
I want it.
I want your Skriðdreki
Leans in close towards Eir nods towards Gigi and says in Eir's diamond encrusted ear.
Yggdrasil shivers the old tree groans and the giant slips free.

(01:01:44):
And Eir says I am an average nondescript human.
I don't know what you mean.
I certainly am not diamond encrusted.
Am I being nondescript enough.
Well you see I don't have a tank but I could make you one.
I could like assemble some bits and pieces of hardware to one of my skidvergr.

(01:02:12):
Maybe knock something up that will be suitable.
Where are you taking it.
Why do you need such heavy munitions for.
We're taking it into a blizzard.
Oh I'm not sure that's wise.
What do you have for transportation that would protect us from being trapped in a blizzard which I'm convinced will happen.

(01:02:36):
You do know that they're predicting a once in a century type storm don't you.
Yes we read the papers but the voices in this man nondescript man's head.
Hello.
Assure us that we will be able to go to our destination and return before the storm.

(01:02:59):
And our choices are once in a century blizzard or once in a century imperial warship.
Collecting taxes which I've never paid.
We can help you reduce your inventory which will help you with your taxation problem.
Well I can't say that going out on a skíðverg is going to do you any favors in a blizzard because they're open to the weather aren't they.

(01:03:24):
Do you have any trucks.
You can't take a truck out on the ice.
That's why your old friend Villiblom invented the skíðverg.
It's either that or a dog sled.
You can't take a truck out on the ice.
What happened to building a tank.
You were talking of building a tank.
Yes I was talking about building a tank because frankly I want you to just go away.

(01:03:48):
But they have a battleship.
What are we going to do with a tank.
Do you have a dog sled available right now.
Yes.
With dogs.
Yes.
That will be four diamonds.
We need four.
Yes I know that's why it will be four diamonds.

(01:04:11):
I can't you know.
Your wonderful jarlness
I'm so sorry.
I'm losing my manners again.
It's the stress of all these taxes.
One moment.
How about we pay you upon our return so that you will not have any diamonds to declare who the imperial ship.
Yes.

(01:04:33):
You can make a persuasion roll then.
That's good.
Which is a will roll with your bonuses for being famed.
Can I provide guest counsel because this is a matter of custom and law.
Sure.
Three weals.
Nice wrinkle.
Thank you.
Twenty three.
Total.
You drive a hard bargain but I'll accept it.

(01:04:56):
I want your seal though.
I want your signet ring stamping in wax to prove that we have a contract.
Certainly.
Easy.
Eir don't die.
Again.
Well the dogs are all saddled.
The dogs are saddled.
The dogs are already out the back.

(01:05:18):
I've been using them all morning.
Oh do you have this is a do you have clothing for the snow winter big camouflage body bags etc.
Things camping.
Yes.
I want all of it.

(01:05:39):
This is a travel emporium.
I'm impressed that you've actually asked for some things that will help you out on the ice.
Normally you go out all over of a dither
That is true.
We have learned.
Oh flares.
Now you bought my entire stock of flares last time.
You probably still got 77 of them left.

(01:06:04):
So I'll need winter winter clothing food bags supplies.
All of that.
Yes.
Yes.
I'll add it to your tab but that's going to be five diamonds when you come back.
Fine fine.
There's no sale or return either.
That be giving me any of that funny business.

(01:06:25):
No funny business.
Do you recall we made a deal before and we delivered.
You lost my lovely seal skin coat.
But we got you the blubber.
Although they do say that that was the cause of the rabboon fever.
So it's all a very mixed blessing isn't it.
That is news to us.

(01:06:46):
Well it's all over town that you were the ones that came back with the stinking jötunn fish and cause rabboon fever.
The winter wise have been saying it for weeks now.
We weren't here for weeks.
That's as maybe.
All right the dog sled is available out of the back should you wish to use it.
Yeah let's go.

(01:07:08):
There either way.
So you've got a rough handle on these coordinates.
I'm going to also advise you that he give you some kind of geolocation device.
In order to pinpoint the location as opposed to spend several days effectively wandering around on the sea ice in a kind of doomed Victorian expedition style.

(01:07:33):
I'm going out for a minute.
Maybe quite some time.
I just watched a thing on Shackleton and I was endlessly entertained by he left his crew on Elephant Island sailed for weeks.
Then landed in wherever he landed and had to climb over a mountain after sailing for weeks.

(01:07:56):
And they were just wearing.
Yeah they were wearing wool.
They were they were.
I mean it was just it's an incredible.
And so I was watching with my wife and I was like where you at David Goggins take that.
So channel that experience and you can perhaps relive it now.

(01:08:17):
As you blunder onto the sea ice with all of that hubris that Shackleton possessed.
Towards a once in a century blizzard.
Well if you're going to do it.
Yomi and I have seen a few of these then.
That's a really good point.

(01:08:40):
You have.
This is Ljomi's tenth once in a century blizzard.
All right.
The frozen sea ice makes for a great surface for traveling.
It's hard and smooth and your sleds can grip well enough to travel at top speeds with no hazards for miles.
So you fly on into the Polar Night marveling at the constellations above like the eyes of the Thjazi.

(01:09:07):
Which appear high overhead or Frigga's Distaff
The three bright stars make up the constellation we know today as the Orion Hunter.
There is no life in this starry void.
There are no mountains.
There are no valleys.
No rivers or shores.
Just an inferno of ice.
There is no near nor far.

(01:09:30):
No east nor west.
No real here or there.
Just the fragile beams of your torches that you hold out on the sleds as they crew the endless depths.
Is the battleship following us?
No.
OK, good.
I had a vision of someone looking behind us.
I think you should be more worried about the giant hulking thing with antlers coming out of its head that I feel we're racing towards.

(01:09:57):
But you know, that's just me.
Yeah, and that was referenced in the newspaper as well.
The legendary beast.
Can you remember what that was called?
Well, I've got it right here.
It was called...
I'm going to pretend I'm remembering it.
It was...
ijiraq.
Was it ijiraq?
The story in the newspapers had talked about a Wane Hunter who had discovered this legendary half reindeer, half man creature.

(01:10:28):
The ijiraq out on the ice.
And it was just enough news to make the front page a little bit like a Bigfoot sighting.
Anyway, the ship is not following you.
Rube.
It's going to take probably three days to get to those coordinates on Dog Sleds.

(01:10:50):
This is a sizable journey.
Yep.
So a gross miscalculation.
I thought it was closer.
We're going to have to go through a blizzard.
Yeah, but Ljomi and I have seen several of these and survived.
You'll probably be fine.
Yeah.
But one of you is made of rock and the other of wood, which is slightly more durable than meat.

(01:11:17):
And dogs.
But only slightly.
I mean, once you're pummeled by shattered ice crystals, not much survives.
There'll just be a slightly different frozen form in the wasteland.
We didn't choose your body.
That was your choice.
I presume we have tents to try and weather some of this out.

(01:11:40):
Yes, you were quite clear about asking Gunnar for all the supplies.
Yeah, the supplies and the bags.
Would Gigi know how to make an igloo?
He has no profession.
He does not make anything.
No, but if it came to it, you could dig a snow cave or a Quinzee, as they are known.
Which Zizi would not know.

(01:12:03):
But maybe Eir or Ljomi would know after eight of these.
Yeah, and building a shelter is a custom.
I'm hoping to argue.
Nice.
Yeah, I will build the customary winter shelter.
Yeah, I think that that will mean that you know the custom of building winter shelters as opposed to building winter shelters.

(01:12:30):
CJ, I think in future Gigi, when he asks the question, instead of saying, would Gigi know how to build an ice an igloo?
Instead, you say Gigi would know how to build an igloo.
And see if it flies.

(01:12:51):
He's actually doing the opposite.
He's actually saying that Gigi is so to the man abhorrent, he wouldn't even get his hands dirty thinking about it.
And all tremendably on tremendously on brand or tremendously.
Tremendously. But not as helpfully on brand, perhaps as one anyway.

(01:13:14):
Never mind. All right.
I'm sorry. Did you accuse me of being helpful?
I see the problem. Some of us are trying to survive.
There's the problem.
So we're just going, we can all see the blizzard coming. Yes.
Is that what's happening?
After a night camped below, the dazzling array of stars above you, it's early the following morning that the constellations are swallowed by a dark cloud.

(01:13:47):
The air grows still for a long eerie moment and the sky begins to roar and a wall of noise blasts across the ice plains.
You are instantly covered with shattered crystals, blinding, suffocating, burying anything exposed to the cruel elements.

(01:14:10):
Is it too late to dig the...
Let's wrap up the meat in something protective.
Oh wait, dogs.
Dogs.
Yes, wrap them in the dogs. That's a good idea.
When we get there, we may have fewer.
Now, exposed creatures in this area that aren't wearing protective clothing are going to take 1 by 6 damage.

(01:14:34):
However, you pretty much said you were going to get protective clothing, so you can make a Might challenge roll at the end of each minute you are out in the open in order to withstand the onslaught.
And again, like I said, this is once in a century storm destined to leave catastrophe in its wake.

(01:14:55):
The turbulence behind the front is so incredible.
This is like putting snow and ice into a grinder. It's not just a storm of drifting snowflakes.
It is flash frozen droplets firing sideways from the sky.
Ice needles moving at more than 60 miles an hour.

(01:15:18):
So, Ontario.
I propose we pause and dig a shelter under the snow.
Yes, yes.
Digging?
Yes, digging. It's like making a snow fort.
It's fun. It's fun, Gigi.

(01:15:39):
Am I making a Might challenge roll? Because we're exposed, right?
You are exposed, and so you're going to make challenge rolls for each minute that you are out in the open.
Alright, let's dig a hole. I'm using my route quickly and I'm digging a hole.
The challenge is you've kind of left it too late.
By the time you start digging, you're being ravaged by all of these needles of ice, the shards of the storm.

(01:16:08):
Okay. I rolled a ten on my Might roll.
I rolled a 13.
14.
Okay, you have enough resilience to struggle through the ferocity of the storm and yelling at each other.
You can imagine Gigi yelling across the storm trying to get his point across.

(01:16:32):
Almost lost in the cacophony that surrounds you.
Eir will helpfully explain there's some ancient customs that go with it. It's utterly useless. Sorry.
I want to cast Wave Runes to protect us.
Oh, okay.
You can cut the sacred runes into the snow in order to summon their secrets to protect you for the next minute.

(01:17:00):
It's like a shield, right?
It acts as a shield of some description that protects you at least for a minute.
You have to hope that this storm doesn't last for hours.
If only you had started digging this earlier because you knew the exact moment the onslaught would hit you.
You know, team, I've said this before and I'll say it again. One of us needs to start paying attention.

(01:17:27):
Well, who? Which one?
I don't know. And if you don't remember me saying it, that means you weren't paying attention.
The Raven Skull pendant that you were given by Raudr Cerdan begins to glow in your pocket.
Oh.

(01:17:48):
Glow in whatever passes through your pocket.
It tucked in underneath the Mayfly.
Okay, we're still trying to dig into the snow, though. It's glowing.
If Yomi moves it around, does it get stronger in some directions, weaker in others?

(01:18:09):
I'm moving it very quickly and watching.
You're using it like a lodestone?
Yes, like a lodestone, very much so. Exactly what I was about to say.
It does not, although with your tree sight, this time you notice that there is some kind of temporal effect.

(01:18:32):
There's something happening here which is disrupting the usual flow of time.
The form itself appears to be receding in a very small localized area around this Raven Skull.
What are we doing? I don't know what to do.

(01:18:54):
Take the opportunity to dig more?
I guess, so I'll keep moving. Can I? It's on the chain. I'm afraid to spin it. It might go flying off into the blizzard. No, I'm really not.
This is an intricately carved fragile Raven Skull with a jet-to-black beak that is on a chain.

(01:19:16):
Okay, I'm just going to move it with my hand around us while digging with the other hand and trying to get us enough underground.
I'm going to let you make another wits roll with your wisdom of ages.
Okay. Wow. Yep. So if I add, I get a plus three. So that gets me to six. Don't panic, anyone.

(01:19:47):
There must be some customer around spinning a Raven Skull. I think I saw that in a historic interpretation one time.
I can't turn my note on the wisdom of the ages either. Add a weal.
You need to improve your note-taking.
I agree. I agree. There's going to be a whole... Yeah, so that added four, so I'm up to seven now.

(01:20:14):
Oh, no, no, no.
You're on 11.
Yeah, I'm on 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So linking all of the bird adages to your current bird brain, you perhaps realize that Steingrimmer, the preacher, is aware that you were in possession of this artifact.

(01:20:37):
And that gets us out of the story.
I knew it.
Okay, he knew. So...
Fortunately, he's dead.
Yeah.
So... that feels like a step in the right direction.
Yeah. Right, he... well...

(01:20:58):
Talking of steps in the right direction, you take a step back in time surrounded by a flurry of giant feathers. You find yourself waking up again in the early morning, coming out of your tent about an hour before the storm approached times that dominated the horizon.

(01:21:21):
Ah, okay. So now we have time to dig a shelter.
So now you have time to dig a shelter.
Let's do it. Let's do it, gentlemen. I use the term loosely.
Well, we have time to stop for coffee.
How far back does that thing go?
Yeah.
That's a good question.

(01:21:43):
All right, I'm going to share with you the mechanical details of this artifact, the Hrafnhaus, the Ravenskull, and its very potent powers.
One of the examples is digging a snow cave.
The very first example is digging a snow cave.

(01:22:04):
That's great.
I feel railroaded.
Is that the first time?
If that's what it takes.
The joy of this device is that you don't have to feel railroaded. You can, should you remember to use its power once per adventure, you can use the Hrafnhaus to...

(01:22:30):
Because what it effectively does is it can loop time, actualizing new events as old memories.
Very good. So, well, we're going to dig a proper snow cave.
We're going to install beams and there'll be a little living area, a cooking room.
Do you want to have any conjecture as to what the artifact might be given the name of the campaign?

(01:22:53):
Well, there are some famous Ravens.
I thought thought and memory were the names of the Ravens.
Huginn and Munnin, that's right, thought and memory.
It's Hugen and Murnin. Imagine Umlauts over everything.
Apologies to everyone in Scandiwegia.
Yeah.

(01:23:14):
So it's going to be the skull of one of the most proud.
CJ?
There's another chance for you to demonstrate something.
Not Histra, whatever that word is. I can't say it. I can say it earlier. I can't say it now.
We've reached this point in the evening.
It's historyness.
Historicity?
Histrionic.

(01:23:35):
Histrionic.
That's histrionics.
Yes.
CJ, you might like to opine then on the enormity of the revelation that that may well indeed be the skull of one of Odin's Ravens.
I don't think they're supposed to be dead, are they?

(01:23:56):
They're not supposed to be.
But one appears to be.
Worrying. Very worrying.
But it also has the ability to bend time and by extension was probably the cause of the time link in the previous adventure.

(01:24:17):
Oh, and he did the guy there, the guy, the son of Ivaldi that we met.
Raudr Cerden?
Yeah, him. That's what I said. He did mention using time as part of the defense for their site. He had the skull.

(01:24:38):
Along with that note that said, a trip down memory lane.
And he gave us the coordinates. Well, did he not?
He did.
In a little gift box.
What does that say about it?
If I had to venture a guess, he wanted to keep it for himself, but saw how pathetic and moronic we are and decided that we would be better off having it.

(01:25:01):
It fits.
Yeah, that tracks.
Yeah.
It was pity.
We will take it.
And we have it.
Build a cave!
Somewhere the Norns who are weaving and twining fate together to come up with this compelling quest of just going, oh my God, we made a turn.

(01:25:25):
They're gripping their heads.
You're making that pose again.
They're tearing every thread they can find. All right, we've got to start over. Let's unwind.
Quick, weave a new tapestry. Who can we get in?
Oh, I'm fine.
All right. Now, so you have the description given to you there of new spell, the time loop spell, Timmurlyka in Old Norse, because they had words for time loop.

(01:25:59):
You have when and how you can use it.
It is now down to you to remember to use it to undo one grievous mistake per adventure.
But there's so many.
Can we wait till the end and then decide which one was the most grievous?

(01:26:25):
Who's the worst?
How far back does it go?
One is crazy.
No, no, it goes back one hour.
One hour.
I'm glad he's got that wrong straight away.
It goes back one day and it was kept in the shed with the tank.
Right.
That must be it.

(01:26:46):
OK, I'll read the full description.
How did everybody get it?
Did you guys get this?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I think you should read it in a given style.
It's not for our listener.
OK.
It's a little slow, by the way.
We're so sorry.

(01:27:07):
Now that we've got through that.
Through the magic of memory, the spirit of Munnin is looping time, creating new events as old memories.
And through dint of its huge power, time is reversed by one hour, enabling you to build the snow cave and shelter through the storm as it passes over you.

(01:27:39):
And what would have been maybe your inevitable demise, certainly the demise of the dogs on the team, which would have caused animal rights activists everywhere listening to this podcast.
Deep consternation.
We can let them all know.
We can reassure them that no imaginary animals were harmed during the making of this podcast.

(01:28:01):
Some of the earlier ones, there were some that got harmed.
But not this one.
And I think that's what we should focus on.
As you often say, we're learning.
I learn.
All right.
Once the storm has subsided, you may proceed towards the coordinates.

(01:28:24):
Can you all give me an awareness roll with three woes because it's not the most clement weather and it does interfere with your ability to see things, spot things.
And natural 20 on the roll subtract two.

(01:28:45):
I subtracting the so I had three back to it.
So it's 19 and CJ, you've got a minus two.
Yes.
So my highest was five.
You will see, I'm staring at your image on the monitor and giving you a dead stare.
Minus two.
That's like a new low.
Yes.

(01:29:06):
You're giving a stare that I have failed to notice.
CJ is effectively navel gazing as opposed to looking out into the snowy waste.
What did he get?
14 minus 12.
So both of you see red eyes and air with your red vision.

(01:29:38):
You see a flitting figure, humanoid dancing between the snow dunes.
You know, Ljomi's tree site also detects the strange legendary beast that was laughed off in town as a sighting from a drug addled wane.

(01:30:05):
Can you both make a will change roll as well?
Having seen this apparition.
19.
I got another 20.
Is that right? Yes, I did.
Minus one.
So also a night.
Well, both of you are full of mental fortitude today because despite the fact there is something out there in the dark that haunts the night, it does not unnerve you and you gain no trauma from the chilling apparition.

(01:30:39):
It's a nice change.
This is what it's like.
There is definitely something out there though stalking you.
The dogs have noticed it and begin to snarl.
Yeah, well, that's gotten into them.
What was this thing called again?

(01:31:00):
Ian? What's it called?
A wane hunter, I believe.
Or so that was no, no, that's who saw it.
What we're seeing is the.
Is an ijiraq in the language of the Wanes.
Is either of you saying the name out loud so that you can kind of get clued in as to what you're seeing.

(01:31:23):
I'm not.
It is the ijiraq half man half reindeer.
Either.
Either.
What?
That's better when he says it.
It does everything does.
You push on through the teeth of the Gale and your lamp light catches something in the gloom.

(01:31:50):
An enormous mass projecting up from the sea of ice.
Your torch light catches a stenciled name on the side of an abandoned ship.
And you realize you have reached your destination.
The stenciled name is the Falkr.

(01:32:12):
A vessel partially encased in ice and snow, having clearly been grounded here for several days.
Let's climb aboard.
Yeah, is it?
I mean, are the lights on?
There are no lights on.
And no signs of life.
This is indeed the ship.

(01:32:36):
We should be right at home.
But I know the laws and customs surrounding salvage.
Something something it's ours something something.
Very true under prize law.
If you were able to claim this, this could indeed be your new vessel.
Well, I claim this vessel in the name of me.

(01:33:00):
And take the inevitable challenge.
If only you knew how to fly.
The Vikings and Valkyries podcast is hammered together by a dedicated team of Skalds and Smiths.
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