Riddles in the Dark

Our heroes must match wits with the dökkálfar and solve their fiendish riddles to escape the mine.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Vikings and Valkyries, an actual play podcast. We are playing When the Wolf

(00:12):
Comes, a game where the gods play dice with the universe. My name is Ian Stuart Sharpe
and I will be your Lord of the Hanged for the ongoing campaign, which we call the Thought
and Memory Saga. Joining us to Ragnarok and roll this week are Bill, Steve, CJ and a new
guest, a Norse-minded medievalist, Stephen Dunn, known mainly by his pen name Fjorm.

(00:39):
Welcome to you all.
Welcome, welcome.
Hello, hello, I'm glad to be the next sacrifice.
That's not certain. That's not certain. You might survive.
Welcome, sacrificial lamb.
Now, Fjorm, you are an avid plunderer of the past. Can you tell us a little bit about your
mission to make all things Vikingr accessible?

(01:00):
Okay, so I have studied in academic settings up to the master's degree, but I didn't want
to just write articles for the ivory tower. I preferred making more content like videos,
interactive maps, blog posts, stuff like that. So now I focus all my effort on actually engaging
with the public, trying to give people what they actually want and give them access without

(01:21):
charging like $3,000 for an article. So I do that right now mostly on YouTube and my
own website, and I do have a podcast. I try to get it out on as many formats as possible.
So everyone can jump on to Fjorm the Skald on YouTube and on your websites and take a
dive into some very well-crafted and well-produced videos. Now, a few years back, Fjorm, you

(01:46):
helped me with a Kickstarter, and we sent everyone a little concoction called the Tea
of Suttinger. And for those of you who don't know, that's a pun on the mead of Suttinger,
a mythical beverage that anyone who drinks becomes a skald or a scholar, able to recite
any information and solve any question. In that myth, Odin turns up, drinks the mead,

(02:14):
bleeds from the giant Suttinger, and heads back to the ice here with the mead in his
belly. And the crucial part is this, is that-
At the droppings.
Exactly. As he returns to Asgard in fear and haste, he lets some of the precious liquid
fall from his behind. And it turns out that anyone could drink of that sullied portion,

(02:42):
which was known as the Rhymester's share. So if you're a bad poet, then you probably
drunk the Rhymester's share, as opposed to the full mead of poetry that he spat into
a cauldron for the gods. Now, in that myth, Odin posed as Bolverk to trick his way into
getting the mead of poetry. And so this week, for you to all earn your inspiration points

(03:08):
and to see whether you have indeed drunk from Odin's cauldron or from his anus, can you
name me three other disguises, and crucially real disguises, not just epithets, that Odin
has used in his time to fool both kings, princes, and commoners?

(03:28):
You guys go ahead. I'm waiting for the Tolkien question.
Yeah.
Okay, I know one, this one's maybe a little obscure because it's a saga of Heidricks, which
I think is less commonly read, but Grani Horse hairs is one. That's the one he uses when
he tries to trick King Vikar into sacrificing himself to Odin. Then there's Hrani in Hrolf's

(03:55):
saga. He's just a normal farmer, and he tricks the group because they don't give him good
gifts or they don't welcome his hospitality when he gives them bad gifts. I can't remember
the name he uses in Volsunga saga when he puts the sword in the tree.
It's pretty good though. See, this is why you bring someone on board the podcast with

(04:18):
an MA in history, because he can just trot this stuff out.
But he had like 137 different names given to him at some point.
Sure, I think 170, but I'm avoiding the epithets.
Something like that. Yeah, so we've got to find three. I know this is going to be terrible
to say, but didn't the show Vikings have Odin show up? What was his name? That weird looking

(04:42):
dude who came in and seduced Ragnar's wife?
Harbard.
Harbard is one. I'm going to give you that because in the lay of Harbard, he does disguise
himself as a ferryman when Thor seeks passage over a river. So that combined with Fjorn's
first two gives you the three.

(05:04):
Wasn't our ferryman also Harbard?
He was.
Oh, did we just figure something out?
Probably not, CJ.
Who knows? I'll give you some of the other names that I had jotted down. There was Gestum
Blindi who also contests riddles with King Hithreka. There's Bruni, who was the steward

(05:31):
of Harald Wartooth at the Battle of Brevellir. And again, Bill, I really hope that you would
have got that one because you would have been acquainted with Bruni.
Oh, Jesus. Yes, yes. He's even on my character sheet. Yeah, I was going to say that, but
I didn't want to embarrass anyone.
There's Grimnir. When Odin travels to the underworld, he calls himself Vegtam. When

(05:54):
he contests the Battle of Wits with the Jotunn Vaththrudnir, he calls himself Gangrathir.
And then he also poses as Hord who tricks Ivar Widefathom into throwing himself overboard.
The point is with Odin is you can never be sure what mask he is wearing. So make sure

(06:19):
to tip your ferryman the next time you go across.
All right. You got three. So we will give you your inspiration point. Let's dive back
in.
Ljomi, the elf, is standing at one side of a trapping pit surrounded by fangstones. Eir

(06:42):
is powered down and dozing at one side of the mineshaft. And Gigi is standing at the
entrance to this forsaken diamond mine, looking into this gaping maw, into the impenetrable
darkness, the glitter of the kingstones winking at you from the gloom. To your rear, you can

(07:05):
see advancing several of the statuesque dökkálfar. And in front of you, again, just at
the edge of your torchlight, are some more of the creatures from Myth and Lore. How would
you like to proceed?
Ljomi says out loud, this is fine. This is fine. And tucks one of his stun grenades sort

(07:30):
of deep under the foliage that in below the bugs.
You often say this is fine. I'm beginning to question whether you know what that word
means.
It's a meme, as all the young people will know. I'll explain it to you later.
Thank you.
Thank you.
CJ.
Aren't you invisible?

(07:52):
He is, but he's going to wear off very shortly. It's just a round or two of invisibility.
Nothing good lasts, CJ.
Now, if I want to join them, I would need to leap across this chasm in which we have
just lost Timmy number four. Five, six?

(08:13):
Alma.
How many people have we killed?
Alma, I don't know. I'm thinking of opening a cemetery.
So I'd have to leap across it. I mean, I'm a large man. Is it leapable? Is the ceiling
too low? Could I just straddle it?
They had all previously leapt across it, although they were forced to do so.
Would it be a good idea for me to leap across it and join everyone or should I just saunter

(08:38):
away?
Definitely saunter away. Here's your chance.
Yeah, finally free of these idiots.
It's difficult for me to give you guidance on that subject without involving any bias.
What I will say is that out of the gloom, you hear whispering echo and this is what

(09:00):
you make out.
Hrist ok Mist vil ek at mér horn beri skægg öld ok skögul,hildr ok Þrvðr, hlökk ok herfjötur .
Steve, could you read that for the rest of us?

(09:21):
You do speak Old Norse, do you not?
A little bit. When I'm reading it.
As opposed to my butch of pronunciation, but...
Oh no, I liked that voice. That was a good voice.
So CJ, you, your character Gigi actually has a fluency in Old Norse, no?
True Norse?

(09:42):
Yes, yes. So he should have understood what was just said.
You recognize some kind of binding spell. The dökkálfar Masters of Seidr. You feel instantly
paralyzed, as if cold iron shackles are clamping tight on your limbs.

(10:05):
Can I do Unravel Magic? I have a thing for this. I've been studying.
You can certainly try.
Which means I'm revealed, but that's OK. I'll do anything for my friends. I'm very oriented
around my friends.
Wow.
So I have to make a wits challenge to end an effect created by a spell you did not have.

(10:28):
If the spell is of a rank higher than you, you make the roll with two woes.
It's higher than you? It is higher than you, so give me two woes.
I rolled a nine, but for wits I add three, so that's 12. And so we take six off of that.
So not really. Sorry.

(10:55):
You attempt to counteract the dökkálfar magic as they murmur their seidr spells. The war
fetters that they cast prove your undoing. You are stripped of your dignity and your
might bound in their presence. You realize now that you are pitiful prey subjected to

(11:22):
the whim of these victorious dökkálfar.
Can I at least mock them?
You may indeed.
Give it your worst.
I should come prepared to have mocking taunts. Wait, I'll do it next turn.
Wow, that's a cop out. How do you say cop out in Old Norse?

(11:46):
Listen, Ian, if I heal Eir, would that wake him up?
Can I use a healing spell to try and wake him?
You can, but he is atop the pit and you are on the other side.
And so unless you have incredible reach, that's going to be difficult.
Immediately beside you, the wall seems to part and allow a figure to emerge who whispers

(12:16):
very close to whatever passes for an Alfar ear. He says,
Maurr á ekkert sǫkótt vit stigvél.
That's not good.
And were Fjorn or CJ to translate for you, it would translate as an ant has no quarrel

(12:36):
with a boot. And at that, you are stomped into unconsciousness.
The same goes for you, Gigi. You are swarmed whilst paralyzed by these war fetters.
And the world around you goes black.
For the record, I don't blame Fjorn.

(12:58):
I do blame Fjorn.
Did we die?
Well, that remains to be seen.
You can determine whether this is Valhalla or not from my description.
You awake in a gloom.
There is nothing but blackness.

(13:21):
It is impenetrable to the eyes of Mennfolk or the Jöfurr.
Bill and Steve, with your tree sight and your infrared, I will describe to you.
And Steve, you've now come back to consciousness.
So with tree sight.
Loading, please wait.
With tree sight, you send out your chemical hormonal, your slow pulsing electrical signals,

(13:47):
and you can sense even the small gravitational changes that have happened.
You are clearly at some kind of depth in the mineshaft.
You can also detect, because you're quite good at working out where necrotic rotting material is,
because you like a nice leafy bath.

(14:09):
There is a rotting head in the room that appears to be impaled with a spear.
Steve, with your lens of thermal vision, the pitch-back chamber comes to life more.
There is a warmer hue that reveals three distinct figures in this room.
One you recognize as your good friend and colleague, the alf.

(14:32):
No, don't be hasty.
The other is sizable and is clearly the scald.
But the third is unknown to you.
You can only see the warm hue bound by frosted chains against the cold wall.
All of them have ragged breathing and rapid heartbeats.

(14:55):
It creates these halos of heat that you can see.
The mennfolk see nothing.
So within that dark confine, we will introduce Fjord and his character,
who is, as with all of you, is hanging by manacles against this cold, damp wall.

(15:19):
Sorry, I'm downloading updates.
Ljomi says, release us at once.
That'll work.
The words echo in the silence.
Is this your chains?
You are all in manacles pinned to the wall.

(15:42):
Like stretched out or the hands in front where I could reach into my jacket and pull out a flashlight.
More Monty Python, you know, in the correct above your head.
This is uncomfortable.
Is that the bear lady over there?
OK, so my character is mumbling.

(16:03):
I know that I hung on a wind battered tree nine long nights pierced by a spear and given to ode myself to myself.
On that tree, whose roots grow in a place no one has ever seen.
We already have a skald in the party.

(16:25):
Thank you very much.
I see Gigi.
I see Ljomi, unfortunately, but you, I don't know you.
Cattle die.
Kinsmen die.
Two of you have already died.
The light elf, you died at Bravellir and you, Dark Elf, died at the Kalka River.

(16:52):
But the God Tongue, I want nothing to do with.
It's mutual.
You see much that is unseen.
What quarrel? No one gave me food.
I don't think you'll find much food down here.
No one gave me food.
No one gave me drink.
At the end, I peered down.
I took the runes screaming.
I took them and then I fell.

(17:14):
Ljomi says, how do we get down?
Release us at once.
Gigi kind of shakes on his chains too.
Yes, down.
Get me down, you boulder bastards.
Oh, good.
Air just dangles from the manacles and awaits the inevitable.

(17:37):
I'm quite tempted in this episode to really recreate the decades of Perjury and Penury,
you know, just leave you hanging on the wall as you drive towards madness, insanity, thirst,
starvation, we'll just let it play out with a deafening silence.

(17:59):
Can I use biting charms to break my manacles?
I understand they're good against armor.
No, there is such a thing called the loosening charm, which would enable you to do that,
which is a rúnar spell.
I don't have that one.
You don't have that one.
Is there a, where's the chain hooked into?

(18:23):
Impossible for you to tell because you cannot see a thing.
Even if you stretch and crane your neck, you can't see more than an inch in front of your
face.
Now, are my hands bound together or are they bound apart, far apart?
Am I splayed out or am I hanging with hands that are tied together?

(18:45):
It's very important to know.
You are hanging, you are dangling.
It's not that you are in a pose of the White Christ, you aren't crucified, you aren't splayed,
you are just dangling each arm in a separate manacle.
Are we up against a wall?
Like we're sort of manacled, you know, manacles are on a wall, right?

(19:08):
Exactly.
Is there room to swing?
Could I swing through the wall, like to see what's behind?
Using your stone walk ability, which is the natural ability of dökkálfar to pass through
solid objects, you could certainly try where the wall's relatively thin.

(19:30):
Because you would get stuck and effectively kind of submerge yourself in the rock.
I mean, that's not entirely unattractive, but I mean, we could, yeah, if it's more than
a yard, then it's not going to work.
But we can stick our head, you know, stick our head a little bit into the wall and see
if there's another side.
If there isn't, then we'll come back.
Okay, using your stone walk, you try and force your way through the mineshaft wall, but you

(19:56):
need immediate resistance because indeed the walls are thick, the caverns are deep, and
you are unable to make much progress.
How far apart are we on the wall?
Are we like opposite walls, like, or a few feet apart or one up over the other?

(20:18):
You are all on a separate wall.
So two of you face each other and the other two face each other.
Too far away to kick.
Too far away to kick as far as you can tell.
The room is at least 10 yards wide.

(20:43):
Well if we're going to be here for a while, might as well make introductions proper.
Stranger, I'm Grjogarth, the Magnificent.
You may have heard of me, I won the silver medal in the old Asgard games at the Tonga
Honk.
And what is your name, sir?
Hrani.

(21:05):
Just Hrani.
Hrani, well met.
Hrani, how long have you been here?
I was young once, I walked alone, and I became lost on my way.
It's a long time then.
It's good we haven't acquired another irritating personality.

(21:27):
What are you talking about?
Can you tell us anything about this chamber that we're trapped in?
Is there an exit?
Can things come in and out to check on you?
Or is it more like an oubliette?
You've just been here.
How did they bring us in?

(21:47):
Is there a way in?
Is there a way out?
Is there a way up, down?
A portal?
Or have we always been here?
If I knew the way out, would I be here?
That depends who you are.

(22:07):
You could be one of them.
Hrani.
Posing.
You want information.
You'll never get the deed.
It's ours.
You will hurt yourself with all your talking if you never close your mouth.
There is a voice from the wall behind you.
The rock itself parts as if to form lips, and you hear...

(22:29):
It is useless to struggle.
My Fjandi are the most skilled crafters in the Níu Heimar, able to forge tethers from
things that do not exist, and chains from which it is impossible to escape.
You menfolk whisper that the Dökkálfar alone maintain the binding of the Great Wolf Fenrir,

(22:53):
and without us, the stars will be torn from the heavens.
Yomi offers, release us at once!
To that, loud music begins to blare from hidden speakers, and the lights in the room spark
to life, strobing and pulsing in time to the music.

(23:17):
You recognize a kind of almost childish rhyme that is played on the sidebands for a show
called Bjarni in Bla Dreki.
I think it's Barney the Dinosaur.
Yeah, it would translate to Bjarni the Purple Dinosaur.
Yeah.

(23:38):
Have an inspiration point.
Thank you very much.
One of my very own.
For that?
That's the first time he's ever translated Old Norse in ten episodes.
Come on!
Wow.
I'm learning.
I learn.
I learned, Mr. Fawlty.
I learned.
Yes.
The music plays on incessantly, only replaced by a few of Svartr Sunnudaga's greatest hits,

(24:06):
and you hear the crooning of your old friend Rognvalda Oss, and it starts to drive you
insane after the 19th repetition.
See, that's the secret.
I'm already insane.
Oh great vagina lips in the rock wall.
Please come back.
Come back.
Turn off the music, please.

(24:29):
I heard you say you're threatening to let Fenrir go.
I'm curious what you meant by that.
I'm just a humble, lonely, not a jarl.
Be quiet wretch.
A greater shame never came to the gods.
You are defiled with your own filth, your britches' reek of the dung beetle.

(24:55):
Don't make me do it.
No, you should do it.
You are bold in your words, but not in your deeds, jarl, adorner of walls.
I shall have your flayed skin from my lampshade.
I have one word for you, rock man.
Erosion.

(25:15):
Shall we see how the cock struts without his balls?
Is that your face or is it just bad quarry work?
Rassragr, shall I offer you a little ring?
I've met sturdier gravel on a muddy road.

(25:39):
You only suggest release us at once.
Do you rattle when you think or is it always that hollow?
From out of the darkness you see a shining blade, the strobing lights are now dimmed
and you see this shining blade come and hover immediately below your midriff.

(26:04):
Shall you keep speaking or shall I test the keenness of my blade?
Maybe pointing at some poignant and private areas.
Yeah, I think we all get it.
So can we talk yet?
Are you willing to have a chat?

(26:27):
Who sent you?
We were not sent ourselves.
We're adventurers looking for information to confirm a certain deed.
Who sent you?
He did, I point at Eir.

(26:48):
It didn't send us, but we are here on a mission of our own devising.
One involving considerable return on investment.
Is that so?
Yeah.
Dverg were born from Ymir's blood and as the sun breeds maggots in a dead dog, being

(27:12):
a good kissing carrion, I do not care for what knowledge you impart.
Look closer, do you see a Dverg?
What do you see inside the Dverg?
I had wondered whether you would be honest.
Eir enn kvensammi.
Of course we know who you are.
There is no disguising stupidity.

(27:34):
You had but one errand to force our claim on mine number seven.
Have you completed it?
There have been complications, but progress is being made.
Yet they say that in Spikborg you worked like witches with spells and charms and married
and ogres.
Your soul must seem unmanly.

(27:57):
You believe what they say?
That's unwise.
Why would you believe what lesser people say?
Seemly.
The only says what?
Yes, I think he does.
What?
No, what?
No, no, I had no I had a friend, my good friend.
He was a dokkalfar.

(28:19):
Eir we were very we were.
He died.
He died.
He did.
They called you that name.
You lying to me.
I've been here the whole time.
You've been lying to me.
Foul abomination.

(28:41):
You've been delusional.
Clockwork rock.
Oh my god.
Garbage.
No wonder bugs are your only friends.
They are true and living beasts and loyal and like some others and they're on your level
die and pretend to be my friend.
Dung beetles especially adore you.

(29:02):
I'm off of this nonsense.
We have plenty of other nonsense if you care to wait.
You will speak only in answer to my questions or I will burn your álfar friend.
Is that a promise?
Why is the evergreen signal fluctuating?

(29:23):
What is frequency one one one one?
We suspected it was a transmission from the men some power contrivance that they were
that they were trying to foist on the world.
Some incompetence of theirs.
The only incompetence I see is yours and the amorous.

(29:45):
What do you want?
You will not take that tone with me.
What would you like?
What did the shipwise find in the Nail fairer?
I have no idea.
I will ask you one more time.
What did the Shipwise find in the nail fairer?
Okay, above table.

(30:06):
I have no idea what you're talking about.
That's as maybe but those are the questions that are being asked by you by the position
then get a verbal equivalent of a blank stare.
I would like to point out that you are hanging on a wall with an Odinic figure who appears

(30:27):
to be able to peer into the past, present and future and may be able to questions were
you to leverage your clear soothsayer abilities.
Okay, new best friend, Fjorn, do you have any insight into that which is unseen of which
our tormentors speak?

(30:48):
So like sacrificial chip.
Sacrificial chip is a good one.
Or chip.
You're effectively casting your mind out to the spirits to gain an insight into the future.
The spell is named Blottspan.
It would originally be this kind of a bloody wafer of wood perhaps etched with runes, but

(31:13):
whatever it is that enables you to see what is unseen and speaking of what will come to
pass, you can prophesize the the or log of man, the law of what will be.
I think I'll use Udall right then.
Bear in mind because there are perils with this because it has to be answered yes, no,

(31:35):
and many people have found the answer in the affirmative or negative not very helpful because
they didn't pose the question properly.
I'm sure that won't happen.
Don't feel any pressure.
You guys, what would what do you want to know?
Because I have I could ask about who our captors are, but would that help you?
I think we can guess that the captors are dökkálfar.

(31:59):
I'm trying to think how do we assemble it into a yes no question?
Because what we want to know is asking you know what the fuck is going on is not actually
a yes no question.
I checked.
Is it is it where the deed is?
Is that really trying to find out?
No, we're no, we know where the deed is.

(32:23):
It's with the law speaker.
Oh, yeah.
Also, that's not yes, no.
It would be we could ask.
I think do we ask if Bernie or Daniel are the legitimate inheritors or are legitimate
owners of the deed.

(32:44):
But the law speaker is looking into that anyways, and I'm not sure how that would help us.
We got information from the palace that confirmed as much, right?
So also true.
Yeah.
So we kind of know that already.
They didn't they didn't seem to be very interested in what we were actually doing.
They seem to be interested in whatever strange idea they had in their head.

(33:06):
And they did mention something about they are the ones who hold the chains that bind
Fenrir.
And well, since there is a giant rapture in the sky and everybody's like, well, could
that be a Ragnarok?
Maybe we should go that direction.
Like, are you are you planning on unleashing Ragnarok?
OK, so we could ask something about is that is the are the lights in the sky related to

(33:27):
the binding of Fenrir or Ragnarok or something specific?
Would that be useful to us?
Information wise, perhaps in terms of getting out of the situation?
Not at all.
In terms of current situation?
No, not at all.
Does Grjotgarth still have a blade up to his groin?

(33:48):
Who hasn't had days like that?
Yes.
And in order to just add a little bit of incentive to the proceedings here, you hear another
voice saying, perhaps we ought to light a fire under proceedings and a kind of incandescent

(34:10):
flame erupts under Ljomi's feet and starts to smolder at the bark.
So I'm going to ask you to take five damage as your limbs erupt.
Terrific.

(34:31):
Can you just give me the kind of woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo woo
release us at once.
Release us, I say.
So they think you guys are part of some kind of conspiracy thing, right?
They think you're the ones responsible for the lights in the sky?

(34:54):
Is that what you're getting?
They're asking us about the signal, which we actually do know about.
I mean, we thought we were investigating it, but then we blew up the place that had the
answers.
And it didn't stop.
And Eir died.
Oh, that's true, yeah.
No, he didn't.
He's still here.
A lot of other people died.

(35:14):
We killed a lot of people.
I died, but then I got better.
Well, slightly better.
RIP Brynn.
What did the shipwise find in the Nailfarer and what has the Empire hidden away in Sökkvabekkr?
I think he's talking about a ship.

(35:35):
Yeah.
Is it?
Are they?
It's something about a ship.
What's in it?
A cargo?
Are they looking for cargo?
Precious cargo?
Something about the shipwise in Nailfarer?
Is Nailfarer a place?
It's a boat made entirely from the fingernails and toenails of the dead.

(35:56):
I just remembered.
Very timely memory.
Thank you for that.
Some of you do speak true Norse, so you may be familiar with one of the words he's mentioned,
Sökkvabekkr.
Sökkvabekkr translates as sunken bank.

(36:19):
Since you have a familiarity with the sagas and eddas, beyond you may well recognize that
word itself as where Odin and Saga drank daily from cups of gold.
It was one of the abodes of the Aesir.
The question you were being asked is what has the Empire hidden there?

(36:42):
Where is the place and what has the Empire hidden there?
We could guess.
We don't know.
We haven't the faintest.
We don't work for the Empire, obviously.
If we do, they should fire us.
Release us quickly.
Breathe of my smoke, my brothers.

(37:05):
Well, Fjord needs to ask this question.
Grjotgarth is going to lean over and be like, I would ask them if we were to agree to help
them find out whatever the Empire has hidden, if they would let us go.
That's good.
And that's a yes or no question.
Yeah.
All right.
You're asking the gods, basically?
Are you asking the gods, basically?

(37:27):
Asking whatever creature has a knife held to my groin.
Yes.
Oh, I thought, okay.
Okay.
The powers that be.
Good launching off place.
Yeah.
So your question is?
And they release us if we agree to help them find that which the Empire has hidden in the
boat.
Sökkvabekkr

(37:48):
Yes.
We'll do it.
Hey.
What's another quest?
Release us.
It's getting very warm.
We all immediately grasp at the straw.
Yes.
Bale and hatred I bring to the Empire.
I will tell you a story.

(38:09):
We dökkálfar discovered the potential of Eitr much sooner than men.
Our subterranean complexes are a vast trove of rare minerals and metals.
Deep mining experiments exposed us to fleeting transuranic elements embroiled in their dance
of death.

(38:30):
And as we sought to unlock the secrets of Eitr, to gain mastery over Roteind and Ratheind,
each breached atom released impressive bursts of energy.
We were persistent and adaptive from our long years living in the shadows.
Although not even this nuclear blast could undo our curse.

(38:54):
Even when reduced to constituent atoms, our spirits find new shells.
And so our generals decided to sell their deadly secrets, the secrets of the death metals
to the highest bidder.
They created a chain reaction with unfathomable consequences, the great winter that surrounds

(39:17):
you.
So, we ask again, what are the secrets of the ice?
What have the Ivaldians hidden in Sökkvabekkr?
We know the answer.
It is death metal.
For now we have become death, the destroyers of worlds.
Very hot.

(39:38):
Hot.
He's burning.
I'm sure it's just a meme.
Someone does extinguish your flaming leg with a bucket of water.
Or at least you hope it's a bucket of water.
Yes, I had that thought.
Do we have a deal?
We do not have a deal.

(40:00):
But we will issue you a challenge.
For we cannot trust Eir, the Amorous.
We have assigned him this mission once before and he has failed us.
But we will offer you this chance, answer for us these riddles.

(40:25):
And for each riddle that you answer correctly, we shall spare one of you from the Grove of
Fetters.
Do you agree to our terms?
You will answer and you will face the same fate as the Orcneas whose head lies severed

(40:48):
on the floor.
Grjotgarth looks at everybody and says, so are you all ready to die?
Yeah, it's not that big a deal once it happens a couple of times.
I mean, don't get me wrong, it's no screaming hell, it's not pleasant, but you know.
Oh, Rockface that is giving us this challenge.

(41:12):
Do we have a choice?
Could we just say no and walk free?
Is that on the table?
You can say no and remain hanging on the wall until I turn your flayed skin into my lampshade.
Is there anything else we could convince you with, such as anything else you want?

(41:36):
Yes.
We want dominion over the Death Metal.
We want control of all of the mineral wealth of these lands.
We want to know why the Empire toys with what is rightfully ours.
We have already sent Eir, the Amorous, in order to find out what their plans are, but

(41:59):
he was waylaid by a Jotun wench.
So you want the deed.
That's what this is all about.
Well, we have it.
Let us go.
We'll go fetch it.
We'll bring it back.
Yes.
Any number of you may leave our hallowed Halls should you answer the riddles.

(42:21):
And of course, we will be watching as we watched your wedding vows.
By which he means, obviously, that they have somehow gleaned knowledge of your movements
across Heimslit from Spikborg to the Troll's Tongue and clearly know what you have been

(42:41):
up to and are able to report quite incisively on it.
Are the riddles a group effort?
Do we all get to guess?
Oh, that's true.
One riddle each, maybe?
Or is it a group effort?
No, for each riddle, every one.
We all get to guess.
Yes.
Gets an answer.
That sounds good.
Four guesses per riddle.
Worth a try.
And if you get the riddle wrong, prepare yourself to be impaled upon the spear.

(43:10):
I will read to you the first riddle since you have engaged in this contest of wits.
And Bill, no hastily typing into the internet.
That's good.
Yeah, I think that everyone should actually do the pose that they're in the dungeon and

(43:33):
show me their hands.
I won't mention the new foot keyboard I acquired earlier in the week for just such an occasion.
All right, the first riddle is this as you bargain for your release with this contest
of wits.
What is that lamp which lights up men but flame engulfs it and wargs grasp after it

(43:59):
always?
The sun.
Fjorn has saved one of you and salvaged your reputation.
One person will be able to leave the dungeon and emerge into the sunlight once again.

(44:22):
The second riddle in the dark is this.
Who is that giant that goes over the earth, who swallows the waters and woods, who dreads
the wind but doesn't fear men and fiercely fights the sun?
Let me have that one again.

(44:43):
Please?
Depends on the tone of your please.
Who is that giant that goes over the earth, who swallows the waters and woods, who dreads
the wind but doesn't fear men and fiercely fights the sun?

(45:09):
I mean I feel like that should be the moon.
That's all I can think of too, yeah, but I'm not going to guess it either.
Get Steve to say it.
Either that or night.
I would refer you to your resident, Soothsayer, who's not homely.
Hold on, he fears the sun, you said?

(45:31):
Fights the sun.
Fights the sun and goes across the land and swallows the woods?
Flows the waters and woods, dreads the wind, and fiercely fights the sun.
Am I able to use stuff like sacrificial chip to ask if my answer is right or wrong before

(45:53):
I actually ask?
I think I might know it, but I don't want to kill anybody.
I think I know it too, but I also don't want to kill anybody.
It would be okay if I erred on it.
I actually know, that's a fair point.
You'll just move into another rock body, right?

(46:15):
Yeah, okay, fog.
Is it fog?
Oh, he's correct.
Oh, wow, nice.
That hurt my brain.
Bad riddle.
Nobody's died yet.
I'm very sweaty, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but in real life I'm very sweaty.

(46:36):
The third riddle is this.
What is that wonder I saw outside before the doors of day?
White they whirl, strike stone, and bury themselves black in the sand.

(46:59):
Can we have that again, please?
It's a bit like a game show.
I'd like an R, please, Bob.
With more death.
I'd like to phone a friend.

(47:20):
I'd like to have new friends, please.
Do you want me to call the audience?
50-50, what is that wonder I saw outside before the doors of day?
White they whirl, strike stone, and bury themselves black in the sand.
Black in the sand?

(47:41):
Yeah, that's the part I'm getting confused on.
Yeah, go ahead.
I mean, I want to say clouds, but like rain clouds?
Rain clouds?
Or lightning?
I keep thinking lightning, but the black in the sand is what's confusing me.
And why before the dawn?
I'm gonna...
Okay, water.
I mean, is it like...
Fjorn is close with water.

(48:01):
I'm just gonna emphasize the words white they whirl.
White they whirl.
White they whirl.
Oh, and he was...
Snow?
I mean, whirled?

(48:25):
Flowers?
A fjord?
Clouds?
I don't know.
You have to opt for an answer.
Here's the word...
I'm just...
Again, because I am a benevolent, almighty god.
I'm gonna suggest that you do have yes-no questions.

(48:46):
So one of the phrases that you could use, for example, if you were to phrase a question,
you could say, is the answer weather-related?
Or does the answer begin with the letter H?
For example, those kind of things.
Do you have 26 questions?
We can narrow it down.

(49:09):
It definitely involves precipitation.
And yes, for the viewers at home, this is real-time silence, as four people stare back
at me.
Can we hear it just one more time, please?
Please?

(49:30):
What's in my pocket, hobbitses?
What is that wonder I saw outside?
Before the doors of day, white they whirl, strike stone, and bury themselves black in
the sand.
It's hail.
It is hail.

(49:51):
Oh, good.
Good job, CJ.
Yeah.
Guys, that was just totally out of my ass.
Oh, that's good.
Well, that's just like last week, then.
The tradition continues.
Again, the...
I'm just gonna go have a quick shower, because I'm like so...

(50:15):
The Odinic inspiration kicked in, and you've obviously drunk deeply from the cauldron.
All right, the last one is...
The last riddle is this.
So right now, let's just make sure we're clear on the stakes.
Right now, three of the four of you are able to walk free.

(50:41):
And so you've got to get this one right for a clean sweep, a full house, and for everyone
to be able to leave the dungeon of death and doom.
This one is...
It's gonna be the easy one, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I saw a most wondrous tree raised on high, wound round with light, the brightest of beams.

(51:08):
All the englar of the Lord looked on.
I saw a road under them, and a road over them, and a road fair throughout eternity.
What is this felon's gallow?
Yeah, it's the easy one.

(51:30):
You went for Yggdrasil?
Are you saying that out loud?
At the risk of impalement?
Yeah.
I'm on board with the confidence.
Yeah.
We shall remember him.
Okay, so to be clear, Fjorn, I think there's a problem.

(51:54):
To be clear once again.
Just to be clear, just to be double-check, you're just going for Yggdrasil.
Feels like there's a hint there.
That confidence is gone now?
Yeah.
I'm gonna use Sacrificial Chip to ask a question.
Sure.
By all means.

(52:15):
Is the answer mythological?
No.
There were some stunned looks on the faces of our riddlers.
You almost died.
Please be more careful.

(52:35):
I've been hanging in here for a while.
If we need you with the party, we might run into an ice bjorn.
We have the riddle again, please.
I saw a most wondrous tree, raised on high, wound round with light in the brightest of

(52:59):
beams.
All the englar of the Lord looked on.
I saw a road under them and a road over them and a road fair throughout eternity.
What is this felon's gallow?
Might be the 401 for the Toronto people.
Especially in Russia.

(53:21):
I don't know if you know the poem, The Dream of the Rood.
I haven't read that in a long time.
What did it translate into?
The cross, maybe?
With a Christmas tree?
With a railroad under it?
And garlands on top of it?
Steve, don't let that utterance pass.

(53:44):
You have spake words of wisdom.
What did you say?
I don't listen to you generally.
I know that, trust me.
I was suggesting that if they're Christianizing Norse mythology, then talking about a tree
that is also a gallow surrounded by angels, I'm thinking the tree becomes the cross.

(54:06):
Oh, because there's angels and yeah, and a path to eternity.
And gallows and things like that.
So that constitutes my suggestion for the group's consumption.
I think you might be right.
Well, it was bound to happen eventually.
Stunned silence.

(54:27):
Just trying to decide how to say please this time so I can get one.
You know what?
It's going to be on, if we're wrong, it's going to be on Eir.
He will happily sit impaled on a tree for an indefinite period or stick or whatever.
So yeah, Eir is going to go ahead and say tree.

(54:48):
No, cross, sorry.
What's your favorite colour, Steve?
Blue, no red.
European or African?
I'm afraid we can only take the first answer, Steve.
Oh no.
No, I'll be nice.
I'll be nice.

(55:09):
It was indeed the cross, that riddle referencing the glowing crimson scar that forms the cross
sheep in the sky above you, the dökkálfar clearly referring to in their riddle.
The voice from the wall, from the darkness says, correct.

(55:35):
You have answered all of our riddles, the contest of which is won.
You may exit the diamond mines.
I'll need to be released from the shackles first.
Thank you very much.

(55:57):
Use small words.
Release me from the chains.
Thank you.
The chains clink and clatter to the floor released by unseen hands.
Again most of the time here the dökkálfar have just literally reached through the walls

(56:19):
or else been invisible because of their sorcery.
Perhaps they have been hidden under helms of concealment.
Whatever it is, you haven't so much as detected anything other than their whispers and the
odd flaming torch.
Oh and the vagina shaped wall mount I believe someone mentioned.

(56:41):
As the lights come on you are able to see in the center of the room piled up all of
your equipment that you may collect.
And you also see for the first time clearly this new comrade, Rani, who is, how would

(57:06):
you best describe yourself there, Fjorn?
He's very haggard looking.
He's been in there for quite a long time.
Hasn't been well nourished so he's a bit weak.
He is a little fritzy because he has some mental issues.
And he's got one eye which you can kind of tell was gouged out.

(57:30):
And his hair is kind of somewhat long, very messy grade.
He looks messed up.
Fits right in.
You take a look at each other and gain the measure of your new companion.
Obviously it's not the time for pleasantries, but even were you to at least clasp hands

(57:55):
and praise the gods for your salvation, you hear in the distance a burst of gunfire that
breaks the eerie silence, the furious echo cascading through the labyrinth of tunnels.
And you can see just in the distance flashes of flicker-like lightning singing a song of

(58:17):
chaos as the harsh roar of gunfire splits the darkness.
The mind morphs into a deadly echo chamber, amplifying the sounds of war into a relentless
storm of violence and murder.
Something is going on in the tunnels without.
It's not us doing it.

(58:43):
Are we still manacled to the wall?
No, I think they freed us.
We've been released.
OK.
You can stay manacled if you like for a little bit longer.
Busman's holiday, you know.
Grjotgarth is going to grab his machine gun.
Yep, yep.
And load it.

(59:04):
And then say, let's get the fuck out of here.
Ljomi's going to ready a stun grenade and after picking up the rest of his equipment.
If you don't have much more than rags and a rather flamboyant beard, having spent several

(59:25):
months chained to a wall, so presumably you're going to hang back a little bit.
Yeah, I'm going to hop along.
Hop along.
Very good.
Steve, what was your plan?
My plan?
Well, I can't stay.
I can't come back empty handed, so we will have to go with the group and try and do what

(59:47):
they ask or at least come back with something.
OK, I'm specifically referring to the gunfire, the gun battle that is apparently raging somewhere
in the tunnels beyond.
Doesn't Gigi have a second machine gun?
Do we have two as a group?

(01:00:08):
Is the other one lost?
No, no, I'm sure he's still got it.
Very, very sure.
Clearly, yeah, clearly he's still got it.
Ljomi can give Fjorn his shotgun because I have a shotgun also.
I got other things I can do.
Your second one went over the edge of the Troll's tongue with the hapless detective.

(01:00:29):
We have three, so he brought us down to 12.
Right, it was still after that, right, CJ?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's how I remember it.
CJ just had the one, but you do have the heirloom sword, Bearpaw.
The gunfire has caused the Dökkálfar to question their deal as you hear one of them shout,

(01:00:53):
Abate the edge of traitors, Lord of the Slain, those that would reduce these bloody days
again and make the North weep in streams of blood.
The walls begin to bulge with these new forms of the Dökkálfar miners that start to enter
the chamber again, intent on reneging on their deal.

(01:01:19):
Leomi suggests, time to go.
Are they trying to stop us?
They're getting ready to renege on their deal.
Right.
Well, we could kill them all and then leave.
Grjotgarth is already storming down the passageway.

(01:01:42):
And I was following behind him.
It was minutes ago he grabbed his machine gun and was like, let's go.
One other thing to remind you is that right now you are in this, as we affectionately
call it, the antiquated hunk of old junk.
Were you to transmute your body into a new magnificent specimen, then you could do so

(01:02:05):
here as part of this melee.
So we just have to kill one of these dökkálfar miners, just for the benefit of those at home.
A little bit of insight into dökkálfar relations.
I mean, doing in...
Hang on, have we gone to an X-rated podcast now?
Dökkálfar relations?

(01:02:25):
I believe you're talking about fucking up one of the dökkálfar that's coming through
the walls.
Ah, Bill's, yes, he's got to the heart of it.
If Eir was to, let's say for instance, lightly murder one of his kin in order to purloin
their body, how would that be received, generally speaking?

(01:02:46):
Is that seen as, oh yes, just one of us trying to get ahead, or would it be you horrible
creature will hunt you down forever?
Or something in between, maybe?
All murder in Norse lore, and bear in mind that the dökkálfar are effectively caged spirits
of Norsemen who've fallen in battle over the centuries and just got stuck like you.

(01:03:11):
All murder is broadly defensible if insults are bandied, or if there's a reason for the
murder.
It's murdering in cold blood is frowned upon.
Certainly the dökkálfar are motivated by greed and aberrance, and were you to find

(01:03:32):
yourself a new diamond-encrusted body, I think everyone would go, oh, good on you.
Well done.
You stepped up in the world.
These miners have totally been...
These miners coming through the wall, would they happen to be diamond-encrusted by any
chance?
Your best chance at the kind of Rolls Royce of dökkálfar bodies is the leader of the

(01:03:56):
Enclave, a dökkálfar called Heidrik Radgulur, or Heidrik Redgold.
Right.
He's not here right now, is he?
He's not immediately apparent, but then neither have any of the dökkálfar been readily apparent

(01:04:19):
and standing in front of you throughout this whole esplanade.
Yeah, but you said a couple just came in the room.
They would constitute a pretty dramatic upgrade.
Is that a fair statement?
Beyond your ZX Spectrum or your BBC Micro style.
This is Vic 20 I'm walking around in.
It's Sinclair.
Yeah, Atomic Sinclair, yeah.

(01:04:40):
And they're clearly here to renege on the agreement, and that counts as treachery for
which vengeance demands that they shall perish.
They've been trashing your girlfriend the whole time as well.
Okay, I'll deal with that later.
Okay, yeah, I think that's enough for Eir to talk himself into it.
Aer will call out to his friends.

(01:05:05):
We're being double-crossed.
Let's get him.
It's just so in-genre, I was laughing with the light.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, what?
Are we following the gunshots?
Why are we pausing?
Wait, are you, was Gigi going towards the gunshots or towards the exit?

(01:05:29):
Yeah, towards the gunshots.
Both, yeah.
My sense was the gunfight is in the way where we need to go.
Oh, that wasn't my expectation.
Okay, that wasn't my understanding.
The Dark Elves seem to think that the people with the gunfire are on our side because they
seem to think that hearing that is what made them think we crossed them first, right?

(01:05:49):
So if you go towards the gunfire, we may find that someone is already doing the work for
us.
We might get a better chance, yes.
Oh, that's way easier.
Okay, no, that's...
Isn't it nice to have a clear thinker like Fjorn join the team?
Yes, thank you.
Tell him what's going on.
I'm so glad he's here forever and a day.
Rather than blundering around in the darkness.

(01:06:12):
Our never-ending quest for competence, yes.
Ljomi pauses.
You can almost see the bolt of inspiration striking him.
I know, I know what to do.
We go towards the battle.
I'll throw a grenade.
Fjorn will cast Crow-Road, I believe it's called.

(01:06:33):
CJ does sharp runes and the Abomination, the foul, lying, stinking filth that pretended
to be my friend, will do wounding wand and we shall overcome.
You make it all sound so simple.
I didn't know you were...
When did you become a seer?

(01:06:53):
I've just been doing a lot of reading and thinking and getting more in touch with myself
and the great tree and realizing that I can't trust anyone if you know what I mean.
Just 10 episodes to read the full book, that's basically what we're talking about.
Well, I've read it several times.
Everyone, Gigi is already halfway down the tunnel.

(01:07:15):
Yeah, let's go.
Okay, yeah, let's go.
Wait for us at once!
Do-well, hallo!
Okay, Gigi, you have absconded from the immediate environs.
Oh, Jesus.
Immediately behind Fjorn and Eir, Red Gold, especially vain, dökkálfar, leader emerges from

(01:07:40):
the wall, his headdress dripping with diamonds from the mine, swaying almost like a chandelier
and he yells out at the receding, retreating forms,
Munu evi finol vigemada en mesti.

(01:08:04):
Which translates as, game over, player one.
Oh, good lord.
Thee, fast turn or slow turn?
Fjorn, fast turn or slow turn?
Fast turn, crow road.
Fjorn fast turn or slow turn?
I kind of wanted to use ancestral wisdom before getting into a boss fight, but I don't know

(01:08:25):
if that's the best route.
Certainly something you can do.
Your character is a speaker, and so you are able to talk to the spirits of the ancestors.
I mean, obviously you're surrounded by the spirits of the ancestors in terms of Bill
and Steve here, but your ancestral spirits will come to your aid.

(01:08:48):
Your dead kin will confer their blessings upon you for perhaps the duration of the fight.
Well, hey.
Well, I'm throwing a grenade because I still think I have a really good plan.
OK.
What do I need to do, Ian, grenade-wise?
Grenade-wise, you need to give me a sleight roll, please.

(01:09:09):
That's one of my not too bad ones.
It's a 1d100 plus 50, I think.
16 plus 2 is 18.
OK, quickly check the blast radius.
3 yards.
3 yards.
Where are you tossing it towards you?

(01:09:30):
Aiming at Red Gold's feet?
Yeah, right at Red Gold.
Yep.
Right up the old Red Gold.
Oh dear.
The flashbang erupts right in front of the Enclave leader.
It flashes and reflects a thousandfold in the diamonds on his headdress.
He staggers back, blinded and stunned.

(01:09:54):
I love how he feels.
So, Gigi, here's the explosion and turns back around, thinking...
They started without me!
The battle's this way! What do you mean you're going this way?
Their leader is over here.
Bjorn, what did you want to do?
Am I able to use Crow Road for whoever's attacking next?
You can indeed.

(01:10:15):
In order to cast Crow Road, you will choose an enemy and effectively what it enables you
to do is peer into the future and work out all of the many ways in which he might meet
his demise and so you can help marshal the future to orchestrate events to bring that
target to its fate.

(01:10:37):
So from now on, when someone else tries to attack Red Gold, you may give them three wheels.
So were CJ to bustle into the room and smite him, he would do so with even more wheels
than he usually does.
Steve, what would you like to do?
I think that Ljomi actually did see a little speck of the future because Eir is going to

(01:11:03):
cast Wounding Wand and use the Evening Rider.
Is it the Evening Rider?
I think that's what it's called.
Yes, right.
To accept, to essentially strain himself.
We know how that ends.
To strain himself to get himself an extra wheel.
Yeah, so it's going to be Wounding Wand at Red Gold.

(01:11:26):
That's wits with, I see one wheel.
No, wait a minute.
I get some from Fjorn, I think, right?
Fjorn can give you three more, but I'm also going to remind you that presumably you took
your second gift and you took wise counsel, which enables you to be prepared for eventualities

(01:11:50):
and so you can use your own triggered action to cast the spell effectively twice.
You're using a triggered action on your turn to perform an activity that usually requires
an action.
So your action is Wounding Wand and your triggered action can be Wounding.
So what would the trigger be?
When I cast Wounding Wand, I cast Wounding Wand?
There you go.

(01:12:10):
Your kind of double-fisting Wounding Wand.
Wow, thanks for the visual.
Yeah, that's great.
We will, yeah, okay, double Wounding Wands it is.
I would take strain from both of them or can I do that only once a round?
It doesn't say I can't do it more than once a round.

(01:12:30):
Whenever you cast a spell, one of them will be with one weal, one of them will be with
four weals.
Red Gold is impaired for a number of rounds as well as being blinded and deafened.
Hey, fantastic then.
Okay, so the first attack will be with four weals, did we decide?

(01:12:52):
Yep.
Good Lord, that's a lot.
Okay.
That's rightly in Carr.
Oh my heavens.
That's one is a five, so that's 18 plus five is 23 and four which is 27.
Very good.
That's an immense sorceress blast.

(01:13:16):
Yeah, excellent.
So that's 2d6 plus one and then an extra d6 because it was over 20.
Nine plus one is 10 points, 10 points a time from the first Wounding Wand.
Okay, and then unleash your second.
And then we do it again.

(01:13:37):
Oh, I mean, not as great for eight, 13, 13 to hit.
Okay, that will suffice.
That hits as well.
Wonderful.
And six, nine, 10 again.
I will call that a successful round.
Holy crap.
Thanks for showing up.

(01:13:58):
You fire your sorceress blast from each hand delivering these pulses of Gand energy at
the dökkálfar leader who staggers backwards.
He is fortifying himself and so manages to resist some of that damage as his body hardens

(01:14:20):
into a carapace.
Immediately at his back, two of his fellow dökkálfar are springing into action, taking
each of his flanks.
It does say any creature that is friendly to the target and that can see it must make
a Will Challenge Roller become frightened for a minute.

(01:14:41):
Nice.
All right.
And also the old Red Gold, he was stunned as well.
Can he still?
He was impaired.
He was impaired.
He was impaired.
Okay, the dökkálfar make their rolls and so they stand ready to cast its spells and red

(01:15:05):
gold himself is clutching a hellstone in this universe that is equivalent to a lump of radioactive
uranium.
And can put two and two together about why they want the vast mineral wealth of these

(01:15:26):
lands.
Clean, abundant power.
That's why.
Well?
They're inherently green, just like Bill.
So what I'm going to do is Steve, the dökkálfar miners, they fire you.
They fire the same kind of lead balls that you have been issuing, the GAN flyers, and

(01:15:51):
you are hit for five damage.
Yeah, I deserve it.
And then it's as if the dökkálfar leader has a dirty bomb held in his hands, a dreadful
ray full of Thurs radiation or gamma radiation in this world.

(01:16:16):
Obviously, instead of using the Greek, they use the Norse letters from the Futhark.
There is a concentrated beam of pure Thurs energy that strikes out at Fjorn.
That is a hit.

(01:16:40):
And that is going to be 21 damage as you are hit by the critical mass of this concentrated
Thurs energy and irradiated by the power of the dökkálfar our sorcery.
I'm sure he'll be fine.

(01:17:01):
Yeah, yeah, you know, just walk it off.
You're doing great before.
Your beard was once long and flowing.
It might be a little bit patchy now.
But I mean, still in that improvement to your day.
And you've still got one eye.
I mean, let's concentrate on the .
Look on the positives here.
Yeah.
And you're not tied up.

(01:17:22):
I think you've got a few extra health on the barometer, so to speak.
So you're not quite dead yet.
It's just a flesh wound.
Round 2.
Fast slow attacks.
Is Gigi back yet?
Yeah, he's very fast.
You take big steps.
Feel free to burst into the room with aplomb.

(01:17:45):
With vigor.
It's vim.
It's vim.
Grjotgarth gets to burst in the room.
Yeah.
Yes, he's burst into the room.
Looks at the chieftain, the rock chieftain in the back and says, today is the day you
hit rock bottom.
And he's going to fire off with a quick shot.
Rambo with his machine gun storm shooter.

(01:18:07):
Nice.
And yeah, let's let's rambo it.
OK.
The only challenge with that is, and I'm absolutely fine for you to do it, but Stephen Fjorn will
be potentially in the radius of your blast, in the area of effect.
They will be splashed.
Damn it.

(01:18:27):
That's no problem.
That's their problem.
That's their problem.
All right.
Roll your dice.
Duck!
Do what?
If I do the machine gun burst, I don't need to roll, right?
I didn't have to roll last time.
No, you don't, but you're rolling dice for damage.
And if you're using all log, you're adding more damage.

(01:18:49):
All right.
What level of spell are you doing?
Two?
Yeah, I mean, let's go big.
OK.
I think you're going to roll five dice sticks.
Oh, and that one.
And one more.
19 total.
OK.
Oh, boy.
So the interesting thing there is, Steve, what's your health?

(01:19:14):
I am at...
My total health is 19.
I'm currently at 11 damage.
So I detect a problem.
Do you want to make a slight roll?
And Fjorn, appreciating that you helped save the group with your Riddle Me This answers,

(01:19:34):
can you also make a slight roll, please, because CJ has burst back into the room and effectively
sprayed the whole chamber with bullets and possibly gunned everybody down.
It's like a...
Like, eh?
It is in keeping.
Steve, is your ability to be self-fortified, is that an action or is that a...

(01:19:57):
It's an action.
Yeah.
But you can use it as a triggered action.
You could wise counsel and trigger the action to protect yourself somewhat.
Sidebar...
Well, kind of a sidebar question, though, is that in order to inhabit...
In order for Eir's spirit to inhabit a new body, the old body would have to die, right?

(01:20:19):
I'm doing you a favor.
He's correct.
Yeah.
From a certain point of view, this is super helpful.
OK.
So, him mowing you down like a human scythe...
As long as you get the leader, this could work.
Well, the leader is already stunned by the stun grenade, reeling back because of that,

(01:20:42):
has been hit by two simultaneous sorceress blasts from your Wounding Wand and now met
a hail of bullets from our skaldic Hero here.
So it may well be that everything is eviscerated in one go.
Yeah, so I will instead move closer to red gold so that if with the diverged body going

(01:21:09):
off, it has a blast radius, then that would hopefully catch the red gold and the other
dökkálfar in it.
OK.
Are you actively aiming to fail your sleight roll as well and just holding up your arms
to put an end to your metal purgatory?
It's the part of the episode.

(01:21:34):
Yes he is.
This is his moment to shine like a little detonating sun.
All right, in which case you suffer 19 damage along with everyone else in the radius and
your circuits fritz, your body slumps and begins to spark and your spirit rises like

(01:21:55):
it once did before in search of a new home.
Immediately behind you, the diamond-strewn form of Red Gold, which now lies crumpled
and shattered in the hail of bullets, may well be a ready receptacle.
However, poor Fjorn, the old man who you found hanging on the wall, may well also be shredded

(01:22:21):
by CJ's bullets, which will be a first actually just killing one of your player characters.
The only thing the CJ suggests is to try and be more careful.
I mean, I really do hope you're going to go and watch his YouTube channel after this
for atonement.

(01:22:42):
Fjorn, can you give me that sleight roll please?
It's a difference between...
Yeah, what do I need?
So it's a roll of dice 20 and whatever your slight is 10.
So roll of dice 20, tell me what you need.
10.
It's a 10.
It's the difference between 19 and 9 damage, which I think puts you unfortunately over

(01:23:03):
the edge.
So you are riddled with bullets and fall to the ground, bleeding out on the stone mine
floor.
Can you give me a fate roll, which is a dice 6 if you would?
Yep, 5.

(01:23:23):
You are crushed underfoot as scores of savage dökkálfar soldiers advance from the walls,
hurling their sable bodies into the fray, swarming through the pitch darkness.
Okay, I have I want to say my final words.
Can I do that before I die?

(01:23:44):
No, of course you may.
Of course you may.
Okay, because I entered this mumbling the Havamal in the dark to people I've never
seen before, but I knew from my foresight or hindsight.
Anyway, I want to say one more line from the Havamal and that is even a cow knows when

(01:24:06):
they should go home.
It's very apt.
Very apt.
Fjorn, thank you for joining us and allowing yourself to be murdered by CJ.
That's an interesting turn of events.
I have all these healing spells.

(01:24:27):
I haven't used them yet.
We know.
Every time someone goes down.
So you just let him die?
I was busy scowling at your character.
I like the notion of me letting him die from the guy who just shot him.

(01:24:47):
I did tell you to duck, didn't I?
Stay tuned for a special post credits bonus sequence.
The Vikings and Valkyries podcast is hammered together by a dedicated team of scouts and

(01:25:08):
Smiths.
Please don't forget to like, share and sacrifice to the old gods.
Steve, Your spirit is able to possess the rather sublime and fetching body of Red Gold.
And as you shimmer back into consciousness, marvelling at the form in which you now inhabit,

(01:25:32):
you see from the corner of your eye something approaching in the direction of the gunfire
and popping up in the mineshaft entrance is none other than the Wolverine Alma, who
stands there, her battle rifle smoking.
She has obviously been engaged in combat with all kinds of dökkálfar and blasted them to

(01:25:59):
smithereens.
Hey, hey friends.
I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.
Did you hear me shout from the pit?
Don't worry.
Oh, looks like you got yourself in a pickle.