March 18, 2025 • 45 mins
Carmen Bates never imagined she'd be sharing her story of loss just five months after her husband's tragic car accident. Yet here she sits, radiating a peace that defies human understanding.
"I have fallen more in love with Jesus than I have ever loved him before," Carmen reveals, her voice steady despite recounting the most painful chapter of her life. Her testimony isn't just about grief—it's about witnessing God's meticulous care during life's most devastating moments.
Carmen's journey with her husband Scott began in brokenness. Both carried wounds: her anger toward God after losing her childhood best friend; his struggles with addiction and abandonment. Their marriage weathered serious storms, including substance abuse that nearly tore them apart. But when Scott finally committed to sobriety and faith, everything changed. For eight beautiful months before his death, they lived what Carmen calls "answered prayer"—with Scott sober, spiritually vibrant, and their marriage fully restored.
The most extraordinary part of Carmen's testimony comes in the details surrounding Scott's passing. When he died in a car accident while traveling for work, she later discovered God had orchestrated a miracle: a pastor, prompted repeatedly by the Holy Spirit to turn around on his morning commute, found Scott and stayed with him, praying over him in his final moments. "God loves Scott so much and He loves me so much that He didn't want Scott to die alone," Carmen reflects. "He sent a man of God to be there and pray with him. How can I be mad at God?"
This divine appointment has become the cornerstone of Carmen's healing. Her story reminds us that sometimes God's peace doesn't come from removing our storms, but from His faithful presence within them. As she poignantly observes, "Joy and grief can coexist."
Have you experienced God's presence in your darkest valley? Carmen's testimony challenges us to recognize divine intervention even in our most painful circumstances. Reach out and share how her story has impacted your faith journey.
Join our fb community group and meet your hosts: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BQ6qhcd3A/?mibextid=wwXIfr
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Gianina (00:00):
Welcome back to Walk Through, where we step into the
valleys of life with faith,knowing that God walks with us
through it all.
Today we have an incrediblymoving conversation with my
beautiful friend, carmen Bates.
Just five months ago, carmenlost her husband of nearly 17
years in a tragic car accident.
In the midst of unimaginablegrief, she has experienced God's
(00:21):
peace, provision and the powerof prayer like never before.
Her story is one of deep loss,yet also victory witnessing her
husband overcome addiction,experiencing restoration in
their marriage and seeing Goduse his testimony to impact
lives.
Carmen's faith reminds us thatsometimes God carries us over
the storm, lifting us on wingslike eagles.
I know this conversation willencourage and challenge you, so
(00:45):
let's dive in.
Hey, carmen, how are you doingtoday?
Carmen (00:49):
Hi guys, I'm doing great .
I'm so excited to be here withy'all.
Gianina (00:53):
Yeah well, we're definitely excited to have you
and, honestly, when I firststarted thinking about this
podcast and different gueststhat I would want to have on to
share, you were one of thepeople I first thought of and I
was a little bit hesitantbecause, I'm like man, this is
such a fresh loss that I didn'tknow how willing you would be to
(01:13):
share.
Truthfully, that is what thisis all about is just like
learning and walking throughthings together in the midst of
it, even when it's not prettyand even when it's not tied with
the bow and positive emotions.
So I'm really really thankfulthat you are open to sharing
your story.
So thank you so much for thatbravery, and I would just love
(01:35):
to open up with just you tellingme a little bit more about
yourself and how you came toknow Jesus and just kind of
where you're at now in yourjourney.
Carmen (01:43):
Sure, okay.
Well, I just want to say I'm sohonored that you thought of me.
Like you said, this is stillvery much raw and the grief is
still very real, but I just haveseen that if I am an open
vessel and just share my walkthat I'm going through, the Lord
will use that in so many ways.
So I am super grateful.
(02:05):
I actually grew up in thechurch and have amazing parents
who have always loved the Lordand always instilled that in me.
I would say that probably when Iwas around 20 years old, I was
in college and I was going tochurch every Sunday, but that
was about the extent of my walkwith Christ.
(02:26):
I had lost my best friend achildhood best friend in a car
accident.
She was killed by a drunk driverand I still remember that day
that I made the decision that Iwas mad at God and I wasn't
going to do what he asked me todo anymore.
Like why am I going to live mylife for you when you took the
best thing in my life?
So I was very angry with theLord for a while and, like most
(02:47):
college kids, I decided I wasgoing to start living that party
life and just having fun andnot worrying about a sin in my
life, and I would say that Istill went to church on Sunday
just to check that box because Ihad been raised that good
Christian girl, but in my heartI was not seeking after the Lord
at all and I was in such abroken place, like going from
(03:11):
relationship to relationshipthat when I met my husband he
was so broken in his own sin andaddiction and abandonment from
his parents that it was almostlike his brokenness matched my
brokenness and his crazy matchedmy crazy.
We were just, you know, webonded right away and fell in
(03:31):
love very quickly.
But today, you know, I'm in acompletely different place.
Kiley (03:35):
So if you can tell me a little bit about your story with
Scott, like, obviously we'regoing to dive into the season
that you're in right now, butyou know how did you guys find
yourself back with walking withthe Lord after meeting each
other at you know thatparticular point in your life?
Carmen (03:58):
That is a great question , so I'm so glad you asked that.
So we were probably dating fortwo years when we found out that
we were pregnant with mydaughter, savannah, and Scott
was actually getting ready toenlist, to go to the army, and
so my mom panicked and shebasically told my husband you
need to marry my daughter andmake a woman out of her.
(04:18):
So we did.
We planned a wedding in lessthan a week.
It was beautiful, and the nightbefore he was supposed to get
sworn in y'all.
I cried and I begged him not togo, so he ended up not going
and staying, and I'm so gratefulfor that because who knows, you
know how he would have if hewould have come back, even
because we were in war at thattime.
It was in 2006,.
(04:40):
2007 is when we got married.
And then, after Savannah wasborn, we got married really
quickly and I grew up Catholicand he grew up Southern Baptist.
So, y'all, there is nocompromise there.
You know it's not an easycompromise at all.
So we just decided that we justweren't going to go anymore,
(05:01):
which breaks my heart to say now.
But yeah, I would not recommendjumping into a marriage like we
did, without having thatconversation about what that's
going to look like.
Even though he grew up in aChristian school and reading his
Bible and I grew up Catholic.
It's completely different.
We struggled a lot in ourmarriage at the beginning.
Not only did we have Savannah,but then we had baby Molly right
(05:24):
after that like back to back.
They're 19 months apart.
So if I can tell you that therewas turmoil in our marriage,
that is saying it lightly wefought all the time.
There was still some of thatpartying and drinking and stuff
going on.
Scott actually got really badinto drugs at one point and I
didn't even know.
(05:45):
He came and confessed that tome one day that he had been
doing drugs for the last sixmonths and had no idea.
Immediate response was Iforgive you.
And so we tried to work throughthat and eventually it got to
the point where I was just likeI'm done, like I cannot do this
(06:05):
anymore, and he begged me likeplease just give me one more
chance.
And I remember in that momentthinking what's the point?
Like why?
What is going to be differentthis time?
And he vowed to me that he wasgoing to stop doing drugs and we
were going to start going tochurch and I was like okay, yeah
, right.
Like where are we going to go?
And he said we're going to goto Gateway and that next Sunday
(06:26):
we did.
He took me to Gateway and wenever stopped going.
He woke my butt up every Sunday.
It wasn't very long since westarted going there.
He loved the preaching and Iloved the worship music.
I'd never experienced anythinglike it.
Somebody came up behind uswhile we were in line for coffee
and they were like oh, theydon't have enough volunteers
today.
And I couldn't get our kiddochecked in for child care and my
(06:49):
husband was like well, that'snot right, we just got to drop
off our kids.
Being the man that he was, hewas like any excuse to get out
of the sermon that day.
He was like I'll go volunteerin the nursery.
So y'all we did.
For probably eight years weserved in the nursery together
and the Lord truly restored ourmarriage there, in that room
with us three-year-olds everySunday, and it's so beautiful
(07:10):
and I'm so grateful for thatthat's such a testament to
praying without ceasing becausewe've talked in a couple of the
episodes already about how Goddoesn't always answer our
prayers when we think he's goingto.
Kiley (07:26):
Sometimes it takes months or even years, and I think that
is such a just a huge testamentto your faith, that that he is
walking through that with youand that he'll bring you to the
same place at the right time,and that's just beautiful,
absolutely.
Carmen (07:42):
Thank you so much.
So I was going to tell y'allthat we were there at that
church for over 10 years and Ithink it'll be two years ago.
In April, my daughter actuallymy oldest daughter came to me
and asked us if we could startgoing to this other church, city
Mark, and I was not happy aboutit.
I'm like I'm a women's Biblestudy teacher, like the Lord is
using me, you know, and I reallywrestled with the Lord.
(08:05):
But we prayed about it and wediscerned it, and Scott was like
I would rather the girls beexcited about going to church
than having to like bribe themon Sunday mornings with
Starbucks.
Yeah, we switched over to ournew church and that summer I
think it was 2023, my daughter,savannah, was able to go to camp
, church camp with this newchurch.
We didn't really know anybodythere.
(08:26):
She had a couple of friends,but the pastor got up on stage
and just looked down at her andshe was sobbing just in tears,
and so he was just compelled andmoved by her and he actually he
pulled her up on stage andasked her friends to come
alongside her, and they all laidhands on her and asked her what
was wrong, and so she admittedto them that her dad had started
(08:48):
drinking a lot lately and thatshe had so much anger and
unforgiveness toward him and shejust didn't know what to do
with that.
And so everybody there in thatroom prayed for my husband,
y'all.
And somebody sent me a pictureof that moment and it's oh my
gosh.
I'm just so grateful thatsomeone captured that moment.
(09:09):
I was able to show it to myhusband and he said why do I
feel like that's about me?
And I just believe that thatwas the Holy Spirit prompting
him.
We had recently set a healthyboundary with his parents.
That had really hurt us and asmuch as we had prayed about that
and felt peace about it, it sethim into a tailspin.
(09:31):
He just had so much hurt fromthem.
But obviously the point was notonly just to protect him from
getting hurt, but it was nowgoing on to our children getting
hurt by their grandparents andwe cannot keep doing this.
So it was a healthy boundarybut unfortunately, yeah, it just
really sent him into a deepdepression.
And the only way that he couldnumb it, you know, he promised
(09:51):
me he'd never do drugs again andhe didn't.
But the drinking really got kindof scary.
It got out of control, and so Iwould love to say that he
immediately went and got help,but it took probably about four
months before he made the verybrave decision to go and check
into a 30-day rehab and headmitted to me that this wasn't
(10:12):
the first time that he's been torehab, but this was his first
time completing all the stepsand I was like shocked, like
what made it different this time.
And he said this is the firsttime I've ever wanted to live a
sober life and actually beenable to see my future being
sober.
He said I'll never forget that.
He said I checked all the boxesand I said what does that mean?
(10:33):
And so he said I'm finallygoing to get the trauma therapy
for my childhood that you'vebeen asking me to do for years,
and this really changedeverything for our family.
He got out of rehab a year agoin December, and we were able to
spend our first sober Christmastogether.
Over the next eight months in2024, we were living in answered
(10:55):
prayer.
Every time someone asked how wewere doing, how our marriage
was doing, how Scott was doing,I didn't give the usual like
good you know answer that wenormally give.
I just couldn't wait to telleveryone how great God was for
answering my prayers.
Yeah it was sober, our marriagewas restored and, like most
importantly, our daughters wereable to heal that relationship
(11:18):
with their daddy.
After his struggle, he wasreally just walking in true
freedom and I'd never seen himwalk in that before.
He was reading his Bible everyday, making gratitude lists and
sharing them with me, like itwas just truly surreal.
Gianina (11:33):
Yeah, that's so powerful, and I think one of the
things we talked about how weneed to see people who are
addicted to things as the personfirst and not as their
addiction, and so I just thinkthat's such a powerful testimony
where you saw Scott and you sawhis heart and who he truly is,
(11:55):
rather than just looking at himwith this label of an addiction
that was over his life, andbecause of that, god allowed you
to see something in him andbring it forward and pray for
him and your daughters as well,and so that is just such a
powerful testimony of reallytruly seeing people the way that
God sees them and not the waythat the world sees them.
(12:18):
For sure, that's so beautiful.
Thank you, yeah, yeah, that'sreally cool.
So tell me about just the lastyear, kind of what that journey
has looked like, and I know thathe was starting to work and
just have different things goingon in his life.
So if you want to share thatpart of your journey, too Sure.
Carmen (12:39):
So it was last is the end of May.
Gosh, we had just beenstruggling, living paycheck to
paycheck for so long and, justyou know, living paycheck to
paycheck for so long and, justyou know, barely making ends
meet.
And here he is, like readingGod's word and he's like I know
that God has great plans for me.
I know that he basically he was.
He was tired of just survivingand he wanted us to thrive.
Like he just wanted to becomethat amazing provider for us.
(13:02):
And he got the opportunity togo work out of state as an
electrician with a family friendand if y'all know my husband,
you knew what a big deal thiswas.
Because he, as much of a socialbutterfly as I am, he is like
complete opposite.
He wants, he's a homebody.
He like has his spot on thecouch, he just wants to be here
(13:22):
and the four walls with justjust us.
Like he just wants to be within the four walls with just just
us.
Like he just wants to be withhis girls.
Like everyone else is like Idon't want to hang out with
those people.
And so this was huge for us forhim to like.
You know the 30 days in rehab,that was the longest he'd ever
been away from us, and so whenhe made this decision, it was a
huge sacrifice.
We didn't know.
(13:43):
They said it was probably goingto be a three to six month job
and we were like what?
But when we sat down pen topaper, we were like this could
really change our lives, and sowe prayed about it and he
decided that he would go.
And so in June it was the dayafter my birthday, actually May
29th he left to go to Arkansas.
He was actually living in MoonLake, mississippi it's right
(14:06):
there on the border of Arkansasand Mississippi and he lucked
out.
He got this little tiny home.
He didn't have to live in ahotel and y'all.
It was literally lakefrontproperty, so beautiful.
He woke up in the morning andthere was the sunrise over the
lake and the birds chirping, andit was just so gorgeous and so
peaceful and, I believe, just sohealing that he got to go and
(14:28):
experience that just being inthe middle of nowhere, with
nobody out there and terriblephone reception.
Most of our communication hadto be in text message, and so we
were able to communicate a lotof things in text and going back
now, it's so beautiful to beable to read those words.
What a gift.
But he was there for probablytwo months and he flew down in
(14:51):
June for my daughter's 16thbirthday party.
We had a huge bash.
We decided to make it a bigdeal.
We'd never done anything likethat and it was so much fun.
He was like, oh no, I'm coming,there's no way I'm missing that
.
Like it was so important to him.
And then 4th of July he also gotto come home for like four days
and my daughter was like, let'sgo float the river, like here
(15:13):
in Texas, that's like you do.
And I was like we cannot affordto do that.
And he was like, are youkidding me?
Our teenager wants to spendtime with us.
We're going to go, I'll take it.
And so we did.
And you know they grumbled, ofcourse, but I, you know, I took
pictures of us and I'm just.
It was just so beautiful to beable to have those, you know,
beautiful memories together.
That was our last.
We didn't know, but that wasgoing to be our last family
(15:34):
vacation.
So he finished out July workingin Arkansas and he ended up
driving back because they hadpromised him that he was going
to be making all this overtime,60 hours a week, 80 hours a week
, and here he was barely making40.
We're paying rent in two places, like it just wasn't making
sense.
So he actually came home forthree weeks and it was right
when the girls were gettingready to go back to school.
(15:55):
He took them back to schoolshopping.
He took my youngest daughter,molly, to get registered for
high school and pick up all herschedules for high school.
It was just such a beautifultime and I feel like what a gift
it was to get him home forthose three weeks, cause I
really feel like there was, hewas different, like our marriage
was different, like, I think,just us being separate for those
(16:17):
two months and like me havingto like take out the trash and
kill the bugs and having tosleep in my bed without him, it
just, I think, gave us more oflike a gratitude for each other.
And what a gift that was tojust be able to spend those
three weeks together.
And he ended up.
He was applying for jobs likecrazy, like when he got home he
(16:38):
was like I'm not going to settle, I'm going to find, you know, a
really good job here, and youknow I don't want to be away
from y'all.
But the offers he was gettingwere just not what he wanted.
And so when his boss called himand said, hey, we're actually,
we just worked a 50-hour week.
If you want to come back out,we're actually working the hours
that we promised you.
And so, as hard as it was, weprayed about it and we were like
(16:59):
, ok, you're going to go backout for 30 days, like, we've
been through this, we know wecan do it, let's do it again.
And he got packed up and he wassupposed to leave on Wednesday
morning and this was Tuesdayafternoon.
He had me pull out my phone andhe was like, hey, calculate
this and calculate that.
And what I didn't know was hewas trying to figure out if he
drove all night and took a napwhen he got there in the morning
(17:21):
.
If he went in at noon, he couldadd I think it was you know an
extra six hours of overtime tohis first paycheck.
And he was really worried weweren't going to have money for
rent the next week.
So he had been cooking thisbeautiful roast all day y'all.
This is like a Christmas roasthe loved to cook for us.
And about 20 minutes before itwas done he was like, okay, I'm
(17:43):
going to go.
And I was like what, you're noteven going to wait to eat?
And he said, no, baby, I madethat for y'all.
So before he walked out the doorhe had a beautiful
heart-to-heart conversation withmy daughters.
I am a hugger y'all.
If you've ever met me, if youever meet me, I'm going to.
There's no handshakes, there ishugs, and my husband is not the
(18:04):
huggy person and so he would,you know, be real sweet to me
and he would let me hug him aslong as I wanted, but normally
if I lingered too long I wouldget the little shoulder tap.
You know, like that's good,we're done here, that's enough.
And we would both laugh andy'all.
That day was different, like hejust let me hold him as long as
I wanted, and I'm so gratefulfor that.
(18:30):
My daughter was sitting rightthere and we kissed each other
goodbye and I mean it was a goodkiss y'all.
She said, ew, gross, but thatwas her last image of her
parents together and I'm sograteful for that.
He got on the road and I wasable to call him a couple of
times that night.
I had to work the next day.
You know it's the middle of theweek, you know.
So I was like, well, I'm goingto call you.
You know it's your phone.
(18:51):
You know, make sure you'redrinking, you're active.
And I called him probably atfour o'clock in the morning it
was the last time I woke up andI was like how are you doing?
He's like I'm good.
And I was like, oh yeah, he'slike I'm hopped up on Red Bull
and I remember making some kindof you know like wife nagging
comment about him drinking thatpoison.
Yeah, that's not good for you,but whatever keeps you awake.
(19:19):
So I told him before I hung up,because it was he was driving
in the woods and you knowthere's spotty reception and I
just said please, please, please.
He said he was an hour away andI was like please, just text me
whenever you get there.
You know, don't call me andwake me up.
I was like I just want to knowthat you made it safely, because
my alarm won't go off till sixand I didn't want to be woken up
again.
And he was like, ok, and youknow we said I love you and
(19:40):
goodbye.
When I woke up that morning Ihad my phone and just felt, you
know, a pit in my stomachbecause there was no text
message and I just said, ok,lord, he's just really tired.
He just went straight to bed,and so I didn't say anything to
the girls, I just got them readyand took them to school.
And every day I do the Biblerecap with Tara Lee Cobble and I
(20:01):
listen to her little podcastwhen I leave the girls school,
her little podcast when I leavethe girls school.
And that day I just rememberbeing so anxious, like wanting
to trust the Lord, but also soanxious at the same time.
And she said something thatmade me just like stop and I was
like wait a second.
What did she just say?
And I hit repeat on it and Iactually listened to it three
times and I'm going to sharethat with y'all.
(20:23):
She said God's presence is withus, no matter what happens.
If we can remember who God isand how much he loves us,
awareness of his nearness is theantidote to fear.
Not only is he the God of gods,but he is your father, he loves
you, he's with you and he'swhere the joy is.
(20:44):
And I found so much comfort inthat, so much comfort, in fact,
that when the Lake City PoliceDepartment called me an hour
later to say they had to comeand talk to me and tell me
something in person.
I knew, I know that mysituation's like it doesn't look
good or sound good to the world, but I just I know that God's
(21:04):
word said that he is likeworking all things for good for
those who love him and arecalled to his purpose.
I have no idea like what hisplan is for my life, but I do
know whatever it is, whateverthat looks like, it's better
than what I thought it would beand I trust him.
Gianina (21:52):
Yeah, that's so powerful.
I think I remember sharing thatwhen you were going through
that loss, I had three or fourfriends, other situations, and I
truly believe that is just theLord that was on your life.
And another thing that I wantto point out is you had such a
beautiful community that God hadjust surrounded you with, and
(22:14):
that was something that wasreally inspiring to me, just to
see how many people wererallying around you.
And so I think that's reallygreat and also just in you
sharing that story, thinkingabout God's faithfulness, just
the redemption of it.
You got to see Scott'sredemption story here on this
(22:35):
earth and on this side ofeternity, and not just his
redemption story, but yourredemption story in your
marriage and in your family, andGod's faithfulness in that that
Scott wasn't taken before yougot that chance and before.
Like God, God's timing is soperfect in that he just knew
(22:57):
that he wanted this to be yourstory, so that that's something
that you could share.
So, um, wow, that's definitelyso, so powerful.
And I know you mentioned thiswas kind of a little tidbit that
you had mentioned on socialmedia that I saw there was
someone who was there with Scottwhen it happened I don't
(23:17):
remember on my Facebook pagebecause it's so miraculous.
Carmen (23:21):
While he was there in Arkansas working those two
months, I was the precious wifethat I am.
I was constantly asking him,reminding him, have you found
the church yet?
And he was like, babe, I'm outin the middle of nowhere,
(23:43):
there's no church.
And I'm like, really, there's achurch somewhere?
I don't want to hear that.
And he's like, well, I'mwatching, you know, watching
Pastor Matt on YouTube.
And I was like, well, that'sgreat, but you need to get
inside of a church, like youneed to find community.
It's so important.
And so the last Sunday that hewas there, he actually said hey,
I talked to one of the guys outat work, augie.
(24:05):
He invited me to church andI'll never forget y'all, my
sweet little Southern Baptisthusband was like it's a
Pentecostal church, that's thesame as Methodist, right, it's
like tried to stifle my laugh.
But I was like, yes, baby, it'sthe same, but it's just a
little bit dressier.
Just know, just put on somenice slacks.
(24:25):
And you know, don't wear yourhat.
And you know, fix your hair.
I am not about to say anythingright now, that's going to stop
him from being apprehensiveabout walking in that door.
So he went to church that dayand, y'all, it was an all black
church and he was so amazed bythe worship music and I don't
(24:45):
know if y'all you know Imentioned it earlier but I love
worship music and my husbandlike not that big on it but he
is, so he loves me so much.
He recorded the singing becausehe was so moved by it and I
actually have recordings of him.
He just, you know, veryrespectfully put his phone down
and it's just basically an audiorecording.
But man, just, you can justfeel the Holy Spirit in that
(25:10):
place.
It feels like you're watching amovie, just so beautiful.
And after he passed I went backand listened to those
recordings and I felt the HolySpirit tell me that God healed
him in that church and that'swhy he came home different.
And that's why he came homedifferent.
But that day there was apreacher and it was his first
(25:31):
time preaching at that church.
He was actually a minister andhe hadn't gotten his pastoral
doctorate or whatever that'scalled yet.
But he, you know, he said thatScott kind of stuck out, and so
he went up and said hi to himand met him before he left.
That day Scott even came homeand told when he was here.
He told the neighbor, like theneighbor's husband came over
(25:52):
after he passed and he was likeoh yeah, he told me all about
that church.
I was like he did, I justthought he was coming home to
tell me about it.
But it impacted him so muchthat he actually told our
neighbor a couple weeks laterabout how amazing that church
service was.
So praise God for that.
But yeah, I was told by theLeague City Police Department
that Scott fell asleep at thewheel and tree and died
(26:12):
instantly.
And I was fine with that storybecause I was like he didn't
suffer.
And that's actually the sameway that my best friend died was
killed by the drunk driver.
And the next day I got a textmessage from Scott's coworker
and he said did you know?
It was the pastor that foundhim.
And I said what Call me?
And so the pastor.
(26:34):
I ended up getting on the phonewith him and talking to him for
an hour.
But it's a crazy story.
He has like a real job that hegoes to, you know, monday
through Friday and he has to getup on the road super early.
Oh, this was an hour away fromwhere Scott was supposed to be.
Pastor Fred was driving down theroad to his job and he was
already late and he felt past avan on the side of the road and
(26:57):
he thought maybe they had like aflat tire or something.
But they were, you know, out onthe side of the road and he was
like I'm not going to stop,like I'm going to keep going
because I don't want to be latefor work.
And so he kept driving and theHoly Spirit kept telling him
turn around, turn around.
And he said the third time heheard turn around, he felt it in
his guts Like it was justripping him apart, like he could
(27:18):
not ignore it.
And so he turned back aroundthinking he's just going to
change this guy's tire, no bigdeal.
But he bought all the car andthe man standing on the side of
the road, who nobody knows whohe was, by the way pointed and
said there's a truck down in theravine and they need help.
He couldn't even see his truckfrom the road.
So Pastor Fred went down and hesaid that when he got to the
(27:39):
truck he was kind of in shockand didn't know what to do.
He'd never come upon the sceneof an accident before, and so he
said he couldn't talk.
And then after a few minutes hejust was, you know, shouted
hello, is everyone okay?
And Scott answered him back,and so he tried everything he
could to like open the door, butit was jammed.
So he went and got a crowbarY'all.
(28:03):
He smashed the back window outof the truck just to crawl
inside and be with my husbandand lay hands on him and pray
over him.
He prayed the blood of Jesusover him.
He claimed miraculous healingover him and he stayed there
with him, talking with him andpraying over him, until the
medical personnel arrived.
His sister had a vision or adream, but she didn't tell him
about it until the next day whenshe found out all of this
happened and she said that herdream was that he was going out
(28:26):
into the woods and there wasguard dogs barking and trying to
keep him out of the woods.
And she said there wassomething lodged in his throat
so he couldn't speak.
And once my younger brothertalked to Pastor Fred, he said
well, you didn't know this, butScott struggled with some demons
, and so we believe that thatdream that she had was prophetic
, that the enemy was sendingthese demons to keep him here
(28:50):
and there was a fight betweengood and evil.
And the Lord didn't want Scottthere by himself.
He didn't want him to die alone.
He loves Scott so much and heloves me so much that he not
only sent someone to be therewith him at the hour of his
death, but he sent a man of Godthat he knew in Arkansas to be
there and be able to pray withhim at the hour of his death.
But he's, then, a man of Godthat he knew in Arkansas to be
there and be able to pray withhim.
(29:10):
And since I heard that y'all, Ijust have so much peace that
when Scott's spirit left thisearth, that he was able to look
down and see this, not only thathe wasn't alone, but that God
sent a man of God that he knewto be with him at the hour of
his death Like how can I be madat God?
And right after Pastor Fred leftthe scene, he picked up the
(29:32):
phone and called Augie, of allpeople, and said hey, I don't
know if y'all are missing anyoneon the job site.
I just, you know, passed anaccident and it was a red, it
was a truck from with Texaslicense plate.
And Augie was like no, you know, we've got everybody here this
morning.
And the boss that hired him,the family friend, was standing
right there and said what colorwas the truck?
He knew that Scott was on hisway.
(29:52):
So had he not picked up thephone, we would have never known
that beautiful God story.
Wow, and I'm so grateful forthat because Pastor Fred told us
that he believes that Scott'slife had to be taken so that his
story could be shared and thata thousand souls could be saved.
(30:14):
Hmm and I've already seen somany people who are atheists
tell me that they're praying.
I've had friends say you'vechanged my beliefs.
I've had people say I bought myfirst Bible.
My sister's husband went backto church after 26 years of not
being in church.
It's just so real and sopersonal to just see God keep
(30:39):
showing up, and showing up, andshowing up.
Gianina (30:42):
Yeah, and you know it's crazy.
Today, as I was praying forthis episode and praying over
you, one thing that I just kepthearing the Holy Spirit say, I
just felt God say like Carmen isheld, like she's being held by
me, she's being held by the HolySpirit.
And so it's just hearing thesestories and your heart and your
(31:05):
perspective and the things thatpeople have said to you.
I almost picture it like you'rejumping off a cliff and there's
just this net that catches youand it's just holding you, like
even there's nothing that youhave to do to try to keep
yourself up, you're just beingheld by this net that is just
surrounding you.
(31:25):
And I wanted to share that.
But I also wanted to encourageyou in that that if there ever
does come a point where you feellike you have to be strong and
you feel like you have to holdit all together to just let go,
like don't, don't be afraid tojust jump off that cliff,
because there's going to be anet that is holding you up.
(31:46):
So just, I know, as momsespecially, we have this fear
that if we let go, are our kidsgoing to be strong, are their
hearts going to be okay?
I have to be strong for them.
But just I truly feel like Godis holding your whole family
just in the same way that heheld Scott in those last moments
(32:09):
and in the last year or lastfew months of his life.
He was so faithful in thatmoment that he's going to
continue being so faithful inevery moment in your guys' lives
moving forward.
I mean just to trust him inthat.
Yeah Amen, that is so beautiful.
Kiley (32:31):
And I think sometimes it's good for your kids to see
you almost fall apart from timeto time, because it is still
very much a real raw grievingsituation and sometimes they
need to break down too and ifthey think, well, mom, mom is
strong, she's gonna get throughthis.
So I can't show any emotioneither.
Sometimes you just have to tolet it go.
I do have a question, becauseobviously this is still very new
(32:53):
do you ever struggle with thethought that, like you know, all
of this changed in yourmarriage, all of this changed in
your marriage, all of thischanged in your husband's life?
And like, why didn't you getmore time with him in that
moment?
Like, do you, do you strugglewith those feelings?
Or I mean, I understand thatfaith and that peace that you
(33:14):
feel, but I also know that youknow grief comes in different
waves and so, for people who arelistening, who may not be there
yet, if you do struggle withthat, like what would be your
encouragement to them?
Carmen (33:28):
I have fallen more in love with Jesus than I have ever
loved him before, and it's likeI believe that the Lord had to
cut me in order to heal me, andthere's so many things that I
have been talking to the girlsabout lately.
I'm sorry that me and your daddid not model a healthy
(33:50):
relationship, that I stayed whenmost women probably would have
left.
But the Lord told me I'mhealing him and so I trusted the
Lord and I continue to pray forhim and do I wish that I had
more time with him and hissobriety Absolutely, but at the
same time, like my suffering onearth is nothing compared to the
(34:12):
glory that I'm going to have aneternity in paradise with him.
Gianina (34:15):
Mm-hmm, he was almost my.
Carmen (34:18):
God.
He was my comfort, he was mysecurity, he was my strength, he
was my protector, he was myprovider.
(34:43):
And God is showing me over andover again that he wants to be
those things for me.
He is those things for me andhe will never let me down.
He will never fail me.
He is perfect at all of thosethings.
And what a gift it is that I'mable to now love god as my
husband.
Yeah, even to the point whereI'm able to look forward to
(35:08):
years down the road and praythat, once I am fully healed,
that the lord will bring me anew husband who I will never
have to pray for his faith yeahand I will never have that
relationship again, because he'shealing me in so many ways that
I didn't even know I needed tobe healed in.
(35:28):
I don't know if that answeredyour question.
Kiley (35:29):
We've talked multiple times about how, you know, this
life is really hard sometimes,but we know that it's temporary
and all of it.
You know God uses all of it forhis glory and I think this is
such a testimony that you haveand the fact that it's bringing
more people to God, even thoughit's in a way that you, you know
, would not have desired in thefirst place.
(35:50):
Just the fact that you know allof what you've heard so far
from people who have beentouched by your story, people
who have been touched by yourstory, it's a big deal.
We're growing the kingdom andthat's what God wants.
He created us to be inrelationships with each other
(36:12):
and in relationship with Him,and so that's why he gives
everybody that choice, and so ifpeople hear your story and they
come to God because of it, thenthat's huge.
Carmen (36:20):
Yeah for sure.
I'm so grateful that, I mean,the Lord could have taken him in
his sickness, and what ablessing that the Lord took him
at his best, like there's noopportunity for him to relapse
and break my daughter's heart.
I just feel like that was sucha gift.
We don't, we don't know.
We don't know what that wouldhave looked like if he would
(36:42):
have stayed here on this earthstruggling.
But now he's fully healed.
He gets to be with Jesus.
Gianina (36:50):
That's such a beautiful story of redemption and
truthfully, I mean, that is thegospel and that is what Jesus
came for.
And so what do you think issomething that you hope others
would learn from Scott's storyand how God redeemed him?
Carmen (37:07):
Just that, if you're walking through a similar season
, that you just cling to hispromises.
God's promises are true, andthey're just as real for me as
they are for you.
Like there's nothing specialabout me.
Your tears are falling.
Let them fall.
You know the Bible promises oneday he will wipe away every
(37:29):
tear.
Death shall be no more.
There will be no more mourningor crying or pain.
This pain is temporary, butheaven is forever and I just
truly believe that, asChristians, what we're walking
through, the Lord will use itfor good.
If you are willing to be hisvessel, and the Bible says he
(37:51):
will comfort you with his love,not so that you can be comforted
, but so that you can comfortothers with his love.
So what a gift that we're ableto share the good news of Jesus
and the hope of heaven Evenwhile we grieve.
Joy and grief can coexist.
Gianina (38:06):
Yeah, that's so good and that's a theme that we've
been feeling is joy and griefcoexisting, and I think a
beautiful part of that is we canbring our grief to the Lord and
he grieves with us, he weepswith us and I think, even with
Scott in those last momentsthere were probably things that
(38:29):
he grieved that he would miss,and I truly believe that the
Lord was there with him in thosemoments and grieved with him
and wept with him.
And so now, on the other sideof eternity, like you said, he
has that healing and he has thatfullness.
And it's really really hard forus while we're still here on
this side of eternity, but justknowing that, ultimately,
(38:52):
everything that the enemy meantfor evil, god, will turn it
around for good for those wholove him, that's really really,
really powerful.
Kiley (39:00):
Yeah, thank you so much, and I want to ask because this
is we're not only walkingthrough this with you, but the
people who are listening to thisare also walking through
something similar with otherpeople, and so what I wanted to
ask was it's kind of twofold.
So what would you say tosomeone who's navigating a
(39:20):
similar season and also whatwould you say to the people who
are supporting somebody who'sgoing through that season?
Because you know, janinamentioned earlier that she just
saw your community show up foryou and we've talked about how,
when people are going throughcertain things, their community
around them doesn't always knowhow to approach the situation.
(39:42):
They don't always know how tohelp.
So what would you say to thosepeople who know somebody who's
going through something similarabout how they can ultimately be
there for them?
That is a great question.
Carmen (39:54):
I can tell you that I am so grateful that we were at
this new church because theytruly stepped up and they were
the church.
I mean everything that we wereat this new church because they
truly stepped up and they werethe church.
I mean everything that youwould want them to be like.
They were that for me.
And not only that, but I alsohad my.
I had my other church of 10years.
We were surrounded by twochurch families and I mean they
(40:14):
helped me pay for thecelebration of life.
You know, they brought Scott'sbody home.
They showed up and fixed myfence that was down from the
hurricane, bought me a computerso that I could work from home.
They brought, they made a mealtrain for me.
They started a GoFundMe for me.
It was just amazing to see, likehow many people just showed up.
(40:35):
So that's what I would say islike I had a lot of people that
didn't show up and when I them,you know, months later, I was
like what's up with that?
What is up with that?
Like I thought that you wouldbe running through the door and
they were like Well, no, I justI saw that you had so many
people and I didn't want to beone of those people, like I
(40:55):
wanted to wait and be like oneof the people afterwards and it
kind of hurt and like for me tohave to say where, where were
you?
So I would just say like, evenif you don't know what to say,
just your physical presence,just a text message sending a
meal, sending a prayer, sendinga gift in the mail.
(41:16):
I got so many just random thingsin the mail.
Flowers, you know, in the mail.
I got so many just randomthings in the mail.
Flowers, just little, tinythings, just people checking on
me.
I have one friend who even now,this Friday will be six months,
which is crazy but she willtext me randomly throughout the
week and say how is your grieftoday?
And most days I can say it'sokay, it's manageable, but other
(41:40):
days I'm like it's really heavy.
And then she's like let's gograb a coffee or do you want me
to come and sit with you andy'all?
Even if she doesn't physicallycome here, she is at least still
offering her heart, offeringher prayers, and that has just
been so beautiful to have.
People just want to come andsit and spend time with me and
(42:03):
talk about Scott, and talk aboutthose memories and think about
the good times and reminisceabout how he brought them so
much joy or held their baby inthe nursery, and so all of those
things are definitely preciousgifts.
So don't feel like you don'twant to show up because you
don't know what to say.
You don't have to have theright words, you don't have to
(42:27):
have any words, literally justlike being a warm body.
When you're feeling that kindof loss and that kind of void is
such a gift to just havesomebody physically present with
you.
One more thing I would like toadd is, if you're not plugged in
in a church, please get pluggedin in a church.
Don't just walk in the door andwalk out without talking to
people, without getting involved, without serving.
Get to know the people at yourchurch.
(42:49):
Get to know your church family.
Get in a small group, serve asa greeter.
Get to know your church family,because if you're not walking
through something right now, Ican tell you that that day is
going to come and you're goingto need them.
You're going to need yourchurch family.
So don't do life without them.
Yeah 100%.
Gianina (43:07):
Well, Carmen, would you be willing to just pray for our
listeners and specifically ifthere's anybody who is maybe
walking through a similar seasonas you?
Absolutely.
Carmen (43:19):
Heavenly Father, I just want to lift up everybody that's
under the sound of my voice,Lord.
I thank you, lord, for yourHoly Spirit.
I thank you that you're ourcomforter.
Lord, thank you that you're ourstrength, you're our provider.
Lord, I just ask that you wouldbe with each precious friend
who is listening to this podcastright now.
Lord, I ask for you to fillthem up with your peace, a peace
(43:40):
that surpasses allunderstanding.
Lord, I just thank you for thegift of their life.
I thank you for the gift oftheir community, lord, and I
just ask that you would comfortthem and that you would cover
them with your wings, lord Jesus, and thank you so much for your
goodness and for the promise ofheaven.
Lord, thank you so much for thathope that one day there will be
(44:01):
no more crying and no more pain.
Lord, thank you that you countevery tear.
You are so good.
God.
Thank you for being such a goodfather to us.
Thank you for loving us and forpursuing us.
Thank you that you leave the 99to come after the one.
Lord, thank you so much foryour love.
Lord Jesus, we love you so much.
It's in your holy name we pray.
Amen.
Gianina (44:21):
Amen.
Kiley (44:23):
Well, thank you so much, Carmen, for sharing your story
and for being here with us.
It really it's just a beautifulstory that continues to unfold
and I just I really appreciatethat you've shared that with us
today.
Carmen's journey is a testamentto the truth that even in our
deepest pain, god is present.
He's near, he's working andhe's redeeming.
(44:45):
Her story reminds us thatbeauty can truly come from the
ashes and that even in loss,there is victory in Christ.
If today's episode spoke to you, we'd love to hear from you,
share your thoughts, connectwith us and let's continue this
conversation.
And if you know someone whoneeds encouragement in their own
valley, please share thisepisode with them.
You never know how God mightuse it to bring hope and healing
(45:08):
.
As always remember, no matterwhat valley you're walking
through, you are never alone.
Thanks for joining us onWalkthrough and we'll see you
next time.
Welcome back to Walk Through, where we step into the
valleys of life with faith,knowing that God walks with us
through it all.
Today we have an incrediblymoving conversation with my
beautiful friend, carmen Bates.
Just five months ago, carmenlost her husband of nearly 17
years in a tragic car accident.
In the midst of unimaginablegrief, she has experienced God's
(00:21):
peace, provision and the powerof prayer like never before.
Her story is one of deep loss,yet also victory witnessing her
husband overcome addiction,experiencing restoration in
their marriage and seeing Goduse his testimony to impact
lives.
Carmen's faith reminds us thatsometimes God carries us over
the storm, lifting us on wingslike eagles.
I know this conversation willencourage and challenge you, so
(00:45):
let's dive in.
Hey, carmen, how are you doingtoday?
Carmen (00:49):
Hi guys, I'm doing great .
I'm so excited to be here withy'all.
Gianina (00:53):
Yeah well, we're definitely excited to have you
and, honestly, when I firststarted thinking about this
podcast and different gueststhat I would want to have on to
share, you were one of thepeople I first thought of and I
was a little bit hesitantbecause, I'm like man, this is
such a fresh loss that I didn'tknow how willing you would be to
(01:13):
share.
Truthfully, that is what thisis all about is just like
learning and walking throughthings together in the midst of
it, even when it's not prettyand even when it's not tied with
the bow and positive emotions.
So I'm really really thankfulthat you are open to sharing
your story.
So thank you so much for thatbravery, and I would just love
(01:35):
to open up with just you tellingme a little bit more about
yourself and how you came toknow Jesus and just kind of
where you're at now in yourjourney.
Carmen (01:43):
Sure, okay.
Well, I just want to say I'm sohonored that you thought of me.
Like you said, this is stillvery much raw and the grief is
still very real, but I just haveseen that if I am an open
vessel and just share my walkthat I'm going through, the Lord
will use that in so many ways.
So I am super grateful.
(02:05):
I actually grew up in thechurch and have amazing parents
who have always loved the Lordand always instilled that in me.
I would say that probably when Iwas around 20 years old, I was
in college and I was going tochurch every Sunday, but that
was about the extent of my walkwith Christ.
(02:26):
I had lost my best friend achildhood best friend in a car
accident.
She was killed by a drunk driverand I still remember that day
that I made the decision that Iwas mad at God and I wasn't
going to do what he asked me todo anymore.
Like why am I going to live mylife for you when you took the
best thing in my life?
So I was very angry with theLord for a while and, like most
(02:47):
college kids, I decided I wasgoing to start living that party
life and just having fun andnot worrying about a sin in my
life, and I would say that Istill went to church on Sunday
just to check that box because Ihad been raised that good
Christian girl, but in my heartI was not seeking after the Lord
at all and I was in such abroken place, like going from
(03:11):
relationship to relationshipthat when I met my husband he
was so broken in his own sin andaddiction and abandonment from
his parents that it was almostlike his brokenness matched my
brokenness and his crazy matchedmy crazy.
We were just, you know, webonded right away and fell in
(03:31):
love very quickly.
But today, you know, I'm in acompletely different place.
Kiley (03:35):
So if you can tell me a little bit about your story with
Scott, like, obviously we'regoing to dive into the season
that you're in right now, butyou know how did you guys find
yourself back with walking withthe Lord after meeting each
other at you know thatparticular point in your life?
Carmen (03:58):
That is a great question , so I'm so glad you asked that.
So we were probably dating fortwo years when we found out that
we were pregnant with mydaughter, savannah, and Scott
was actually getting ready toenlist, to go to the army, and
so my mom panicked and shebasically told my husband you
need to marry my daughter andmake a woman out of her.
(04:18):
So we did.
We planned a wedding in lessthan a week.
It was beautiful, and the nightbefore he was supposed to get
sworn in y'all.
I cried and I begged him not togo, so he ended up not going
and staying, and I'm so gratefulfor that because who knows, you
know how he would have if hewould have come back, even
because we were in war at thattime.
It was in 2006,.
(04:40):
2007 is when we got married.
And then, after Savannah wasborn, we got married really
quickly and I grew up Catholicand he grew up Southern Baptist.
So, y'all, there is nocompromise there.
You know it's not an easycompromise at all.
So we just decided that we justweren't going to go anymore,
(05:01):
which breaks my heart to say now.
But yeah, I would not recommendjumping into a marriage like we
did, without having thatconversation about what that's
going to look like.
Even though he grew up in aChristian school and reading his
Bible and I grew up Catholic.
It's completely different.
We struggled a lot in ourmarriage at the beginning.
Not only did we have Savannah,but then we had baby Molly right
(05:24):
after that like back to back.
They're 19 months apart.
So if I can tell you that therewas turmoil in our marriage,
that is saying it lightly wefought all the time.
There was still some of thatpartying and drinking and stuff
going on.
Scott actually got really badinto drugs at one point and I
didn't even know.
(05:45):
He came and confessed that tome one day that he had been
doing drugs for the last sixmonths and had no idea.
Immediate response was Iforgive you.
And so we tried to work throughthat and eventually it got to
the point where I was just likeI'm done, like I cannot do this
(06:05):
anymore, and he begged me likeplease just give me one more
chance.
And I remember in that momentthinking what's the point?
Like why?
What is going to be differentthis time?
And he vowed to me that he wasgoing to stop doing drugs and we
were going to start going tochurch and I was like okay, yeah
, right.
Like where are we going to go?
And he said we're going to goto Gateway and that next Sunday
(06:26):
we did.
He took me to Gateway and wenever stopped going.
He woke my butt up every Sunday.
It wasn't very long since westarted going there.
He loved the preaching and Iloved the worship music.
I'd never experienced anythinglike it.
Somebody came up behind uswhile we were in line for coffee
and they were like oh, theydon't have enough volunteers
today.
And I couldn't get our kiddochecked in for child care and my
(06:49):
husband was like well, that'snot right, we just got to drop
off our kids.
Being the man that he was, hewas like any excuse to get out
of the sermon that day.
He was like I'll go volunteerin the nursery.
So y'all we did.
For probably eight years weserved in the nursery together
and the Lord truly restored ourmarriage there, in that room
with us three-year-olds everySunday, and it's so beautiful
(07:10):
and I'm so grateful for thatthat's such a testament to
praying without ceasing becausewe've talked in a couple of the
episodes already about how Goddoesn't always answer our
prayers when we think he's goingto.
Kiley (07:26):
Sometimes it takes months or even years, and I think that
is such a just a huge testamentto your faith, that that he is
walking through that with youand that he'll bring you to the
same place at the right time,and that's just beautiful,
absolutely.
Carmen (07:42):
Thank you so much.
So I was going to tell y'allthat we were there at that
church for over 10 years and Ithink it'll be two years ago.
In April, my daughter actuallymy oldest daughter came to me
and asked us if we could startgoing to this other church, city
Mark, and I was not happy aboutit.
I'm like I'm a women's Biblestudy teacher, like the Lord is
using me, you know, and I reallywrestled with the Lord.
(08:05):
But we prayed about it and wediscerned it, and Scott was like
I would rather the girls beexcited about going to church
than having to like bribe themon Sunday mornings with
Starbucks.
Yeah, we switched over to ournew church and that summer I
think it was 2023, my daughter,savannah, was able to go to camp
, church camp with this newchurch.
We didn't really know anybodythere.
(08:26):
She had a couple of friends,but the pastor got up on stage
and just looked down at her andshe was sobbing just in tears,
and so he was just compelled andmoved by her and he actually he
pulled her up on stage andasked her friends to come
alongside her, and they all laidhands on her and asked her what
was wrong, and so she admittedto them that her dad had started
(08:48):
drinking a lot lately and thatshe had so much anger and
unforgiveness toward him and shejust didn't know what to do
with that.
And so everybody there in thatroom prayed for my husband,
y'all.
And somebody sent me a pictureof that moment and it's oh my
gosh.
I'm just so grateful thatsomeone captured that moment.
(09:09):
I was able to show it to myhusband and he said why do I
feel like that's about me?
And I just believe that thatwas the Holy Spirit prompting
him.
We had recently set a healthyboundary with his parents.
That had really hurt us and asmuch as we had prayed about that
and felt peace about it, it sethim into a tailspin.
(09:31):
He just had so much hurt fromthem.
But obviously the point was notonly just to protect him from
getting hurt, but it was nowgoing on to our children getting
hurt by their grandparents andwe cannot keep doing this.
So it was a healthy boundarybut unfortunately, yeah, it just
really sent him into a deepdepression.
And the only way that he couldnumb it, you know, he promised
(09:51):
me he'd never do drugs again andhe didn't.
But the drinking really got kindof scary.
It got out of control, and so Iwould love to say that he
immediately went and got help,but it took probably about four
months before he made the verybrave decision to go and check
into a 30-day rehab and headmitted to me that this wasn't
(10:12):
the first time that he's been torehab, but this was his first
time completing all the stepsand I was like shocked, like
what made it different this time.
And he said this is the firsttime I've ever wanted to live a
sober life and actually beenable to see my future being
sober.
He said I'll never forget that.
He said I checked all the boxesand I said what does that mean?
(10:33):
And so he said I'm finallygoing to get the trauma therapy
for my childhood that you'vebeen asking me to do for years,
and this really changedeverything for our family.
He got out of rehab a year agoin December, and we were able to
spend our first sober Christmastogether.
Over the next eight months in2024, we were living in answered
(10:55):
prayer.
Every time someone asked how wewere doing, how our marriage
was doing, how Scott was doing,I didn't give the usual like
good you know answer that wenormally give.
I just couldn't wait to telleveryone how great God was for
answering my prayers.
Yeah it was sober, our marriagewas restored and, like most
importantly, our daughters wereable to heal that relationship
(11:18):
with their daddy.
After his struggle, he wasreally just walking in true
freedom and I'd never seen himwalk in that before.
He was reading his Bible everyday, making gratitude lists and
sharing them with me, like itwas just truly surreal.
Gianina (11:33):
Yeah, that's so powerful, and I think one of the
things we talked about how weneed to see people who are
addicted to things as the personfirst and not as their
addiction, and so I just thinkthat's such a powerful testimony
where you saw Scott and you sawhis heart and who he truly is,
(11:55):
rather than just looking at himwith this label of an addiction
that was over his life, andbecause of that, god allowed you
to see something in him andbring it forward and pray for
him and your daughters as well,and so that is just such a
powerful testimony of reallytruly seeing people the way that
God sees them and not the waythat the world sees them.
(12:18):
For sure, that's so beautiful.
Thank you, yeah, yeah, that'sreally cool.
So tell me about just the lastyear, kind of what that journey
has looked like, and I know thathe was starting to work and
just have different things goingon in his life.
So if you want to share thatpart of your journey, too Sure.
Carmen (12:39):
So it was last is the end of May.
Gosh, we had just beenstruggling, living paycheck to
paycheck for so long and, justyou know, living paycheck to
paycheck for so long and, justyou know, barely making ends
meet.
And here he is, like readingGod's word and he's like I know
that God has great plans for me.
I know that he basically he was.
He was tired of just survivingand he wanted us to thrive.
Like he just wanted to becomethat amazing provider for us.
(13:02):
And he got the opportunity togo work out of state as an
electrician with a family friendand if y'all know my husband,
you knew what a big deal thiswas.
Because he, as much of a socialbutterfly as I am, he is like
complete opposite.
He wants, he's a homebody.
He like has his spot on thecouch, he just wants to be here
(13:22):
and the four walls with justjust us.
Like he just wants to be within the four walls with just just
us.
Like he just wants to be withhis girls.
Like everyone else is like Idon't want to hang out with
those people.
And so this was huge for us forhim to like.
You know the 30 days in rehab,that was the longest he'd ever
been away from us, and so whenhe made this decision, it was a
huge sacrifice.
We didn't know.
(13:43):
They said it was probably goingto be a three to six month job
and we were like what?
But when we sat down pen topaper, we were like this could
really change our lives, and sowe prayed about it and he
decided that he would go.
And so in June it was the dayafter my birthday, actually May
29th he left to go to Arkansas.
He was actually living in MoonLake, mississippi it's right
(14:06):
there on the border of Arkansasand Mississippi and he lucked
out.
He got this little tiny home.
He didn't have to live in ahotel and y'all.
It was literally lakefrontproperty, so beautiful.
He woke up in the morning andthere was the sunrise over the
lake and the birds chirping, andit was just so gorgeous and so
peaceful and, I believe, just sohealing that he got to go and
(14:28):
experience that just being inthe middle of nowhere, with
nobody out there and terriblephone reception.
Most of our communication hadto be in text message, and so we
were able to communicate a lotof things in text and going back
now, it's so beautiful to beable to read those words.
What a gift.
But he was there for probablytwo months and he flew down in
(14:51):
June for my daughter's 16thbirthday party.
We had a huge bash.
We decided to make it a bigdeal.
We'd never done anything likethat and it was so much fun.
He was like, oh no, I'm coming,there's no way I'm missing that
.
Like it was so important to him.
And then 4th of July he also gotto come home for like four days
and my daughter was like, let'sgo float the river, like here
(15:13):
in Texas, that's like you do.
And I was like we cannot affordto do that.
And he was like, are youkidding me?
Our teenager wants to spendtime with us.
We're going to go, I'll take it.
And so we did.
And you know they grumbled, ofcourse, but I, you know, I took
pictures of us and I'm just.
It was just so beautiful to beable to have those, you know,
beautiful memories together.
That was our last.
We didn't know, but that wasgoing to be our last family
(15:34):
vacation.
So he finished out July workingin Arkansas and he ended up
driving back because they hadpromised him that he was going
to be making all this overtime,60 hours a week, 80 hours a week
, and here he was barely making40.
We're paying rent in two places, like it just wasn't making
sense.
So he actually came home forthree weeks and it was right
when the girls were gettingready to go back to school.
(15:55):
He took them back to schoolshopping.
He took my youngest daughter,molly, to get registered for
high school and pick up all herschedules for high school.
It was just such a beautifultime and I feel like what a gift
it was to get him home forthose three weeks, cause I
really feel like there was, hewas different, like our marriage
was different, like, I think,just us being separate for those
(16:17):
two months and like me havingto like take out the trash and
kill the bugs and having tosleep in my bed without him, it
just, I think, gave us more oflike a gratitude for each other.
And what a gift that was tojust be able to spend those
three weeks together.
And he ended up.
He was applying for jobs likecrazy, like when he got home he
(16:38):
was like I'm not going to settle, I'm going to find, you know, a
really good job here, and youknow I don't want to be away
from y'all.
But the offers he was gettingwere just not what he wanted.
And so when his boss called himand said, hey, we're actually,
we just worked a 50-hour week.
If you want to come back out,we're actually working the hours
that we promised you.
And so, as hard as it was, weprayed about it and we were like
(16:59):
, ok, you're going to go backout for 30 days, like, we've
been through this, we know wecan do it, let's do it again.
And he got packed up and he wassupposed to leave on Wednesday
morning and this was Tuesdayafternoon.
He had me pull out my phone andhe was like, hey, calculate
this and calculate that.
And what I didn't know was hewas trying to figure out if he
drove all night and took a napwhen he got there in the morning
(17:21):
.
If he went in at noon, he couldadd I think it was you know an
extra six hours of overtime tohis first paycheck.
And he was really worried weweren't going to have money for
rent the next week.
So he had been cooking thisbeautiful roast all day y'all.
This is like a Christmas roasthe loved to cook for us.
And about 20 minutes before itwas done he was like, okay, I'm
(17:43):
going to go.
And I was like what, you're noteven going to wait to eat?
And he said, no, baby, I madethat for y'all.
So before he walked out the doorhe had a beautiful
heart-to-heart conversation withmy daughters.
I am a hugger y'all.
If you've ever met me, if youever meet me, I'm going to.
There's no handshakes, there ishugs, and my husband is not the
(18:04):
huggy person and so he would,you know, be real sweet to me
and he would let me hug him aslong as I wanted, but normally
if I lingered too long I wouldget the little shoulder tap.
You know, like that's good,we're done here, that's enough.
And we would both laugh andy'all.
That day was different, like hejust let me hold him as long as
I wanted, and I'm so gratefulfor that.
(18:30):
My daughter was sitting rightthere and we kissed each other
goodbye and I mean it was a goodkiss y'all.
She said, ew, gross, but thatwas her last image of her
parents together and I'm sograteful for that.
He got on the road and I wasable to call him a couple of
times that night.
I had to work the next day.
You know it's the middle of theweek, you know.
So I was like, well, I'm goingto call you.
You know it's your phone.
(18:51):
You know, make sure you'redrinking, you're active.
And I called him probably atfour o'clock in the morning it
was the last time I woke up andI was like how are you doing?
He's like I'm good.
And I was like, oh yeah, he'slike I'm hopped up on Red Bull
and I remember making some kindof you know like wife nagging
comment about him drinking thatpoison.
Yeah, that's not good for you,but whatever keeps you awake.
(19:19):
So I told him before I hung up,because it was he was driving
in the woods and you knowthere's spotty reception and I
just said please, please, please.
He said he was an hour away andI was like please, just text me
whenever you get there.
You know, don't call me andwake me up.
I was like I just want to knowthat you made it safely, because
my alarm won't go off till sixand I didn't want to be woken up
again.
And he was like, ok, and youknow we said I love you and
(19:40):
goodbye.
When I woke up that morning Ihad my phone and just felt, you
know, a pit in my stomachbecause there was no text
message and I just said, ok,lord, he's just really tired.
He just went straight to bed,and so I didn't say anything to
the girls, I just got them readyand took them to school.
And every day I do the Biblerecap with Tara Lee Cobble and I
(20:01):
listen to her little podcastwhen I leave the girls school,
her little podcast when I leavethe girls school.
And that day I just rememberbeing so anxious, like wanting
to trust the Lord, but also soanxious at the same time.
And she said something thatmade me just like stop and I was
like wait a second.
What did she just say?
And I hit repeat on it and Iactually listened to it three
times and I'm going to sharethat with y'all.
(20:23):
She said God's presence is withus, no matter what happens.
If we can remember who God isand how much he loves us,
awareness of his nearness is theantidote to fear.
Not only is he the God of gods,but he is your father, he loves
you, he's with you and he'swhere the joy is.
(20:44):
And I found so much comfort inthat, so much comfort, in fact,
that when the Lake City PoliceDepartment called me an hour
later to say they had to comeand talk to me and tell me
something in person.
I knew, I know that mysituation's like it doesn't look
good or sound good to the world, but I just I know that God's
(21:04):
word said that he is likeworking all things for good for
those who love him and arecalled to his purpose.
I have no idea like what hisplan is for my life, but I do
know whatever it is, whateverthat looks like, it's better
than what I thought it would beand I trust him.
Gianina (21:52):
Yeah, that's so powerful.
I think I remember sharing thatwhen you were going through
that loss, I had three or fourfriends, other situations, and I
truly believe that is just theLord that was on your life.
And another thing that I wantto point out is you had such a
beautiful community that God hadjust surrounded you with, and
(22:14):
that was something that wasreally inspiring to me, just to
see how many people wererallying around you.
And so I think that's reallygreat and also just in you
sharing that story, thinkingabout God's faithfulness, just
the redemption of it.
You got to see Scott'sredemption story here on this
(22:35):
earth and on this side ofeternity, and not just his
redemption story, but yourredemption story in your
marriage and in your family, andGod's faithfulness in that that
Scott wasn't taken before yougot that chance and before.
Like God, God's timing is soperfect in that he just knew
(22:57):
that he wanted this to be yourstory, so that that's something
that you could share.
So, um, wow, that's definitelyso, so powerful.
And I know you mentioned thiswas kind of a little tidbit that
you had mentioned on socialmedia that I saw there was
someone who was there with Scottwhen it happened I don't
(23:17):
remember on my Facebook pagebecause it's so miraculous.
Carmen (23:21):
While he was there in Arkansas working those two
months, I was the precious wifethat I am.
I was constantly asking him,reminding him, have you found
the church yet?
And he was like, babe, I'm outin the middle of nowhere,
(23:43):
there's no church.
And I'm like, really, there's achurch somewhere?
I don't want to hear that.
And he's like, well, I'mwatching, you know, watching
Pastor Matt on YouTube.
And I was like, well, that'sgreat, but you need to get
inside of a church, like youneed to find community.
It's so important.
And so the last Sunday that hewas there, he actually said hey,
I talked to one of the guys outat work, augie.
(24:05):
He invited me to church andI'll never forget y'all, my
sweet little Southern Baptisthusband was like it's a
Pentecostal church, that's thesame as Methodist, right, it's
like tried to stifle my laugh.
But I was like, yes, baby, it'sthe same, but it's just a
little bit dressier.
Just know, just put on somenice slacks.
(24:25):
And you know, don't wear yourhat.
And you know, fix your hair.
I am not about to say anythingright now, that's going to stop
him from being apprehensiveabout walking in that door.
So he went to church that dayand, y'all, it was an all black
church and he was so amazed bythe worship music and I don't
(24:45):
know if y'all you know Imentioned it earlier but I love
worship music and my husbandlike not that big on it but he
is, so he loves me so much.
He recorded the singing becausehe was so moved by it and I
actually have recordings of him.
He just, you know, veryrespectfully put his phone down
and it's just basically an audiorecording.
But man, just, you can justfeel the Holy Spirit in that
(25:10):
place.
It feels like you're watching amovie, just so beautiful.
And after he passed I went backand listened to those
recordings and I felt the HolySpirit tell me that God healed
him in that church and that'swhy he came home different.
And that's why he came homedifferent.
But that day there was apreacher and it was his first
(25:31):
time preaching at that church.
He was actually a minister andhe hadn't gotten his pastoral
doctorate or whatever that'scalled yet.
But he, you know, he said thatScott kind of stuck out, and so
he went up and said hi to himand met him before he left.
That day Scott even came homeand told when he was here.
He told the neighbor, like theneighbor's husband came over
(25:52):
after he passed and he was likeoh yeah, he told me all about
that church.
I was like he did, I justthought he was coming home to
tell me about it.
But it impacted him so muchthat he actually told our
neighbor a couple weeks laterabout how amazing that church
service was.
So praise God for that.
But yeah, I was told by theLeague City Police Department
that Scott fell asleep at thewheel and tree and died
(26:12):
instantly.
And I was fine with that storybecause I was like he didn't
suffer.
And that's actually the sameway that my best friend died was
killed by the drunk driver.
And the next day I got a textmessage from Scott's coworker
and he said did you know?
It was the pastor that foundhim.
And I said what Call me?
And so the pastor.
(26:34):
I ended up getting on the phonewith him and talking to him for
an hour.
But it's a crazy story.
He has like a real job that hegoes to, you know, monday
through Friday and he has to getup on the road super early.
Oh, this was an hour away fromwhere Scott was supposed to be.
Pastor Fred was driving down theroad to his job and he was
already late and he felt past avan on the side of the road and
(26:57):
he thought maybe they had like aflat tire or something.
But they were, you know, out onthe side of the road and he was
like I'm not going to stop,like I'm going to keep going
because I don't want to be latefor work.
And so he kept driving and theHoly Spirit kept telling him
turn around, turn around.
And he said the third time heheard turn around, he felt it in
his guts Like it was justripping him apart, like he could
(27:18):
not ignore it.
And so he turned back aroundthinking he's just going to
change this guy's tire, no bigdeal.
But he bought all the car andthe man standing on the side of
the road, who nobody knows whohe was, by the way pointed and
said there's a truck down in theravine and they need help.
He couldn't even see his truckfrom the road.
So Pastor Fred went down and hesaid that when he got to the
(27:39):
truck he was kind of in shockand didn't know what to do.
He'd never come upon the sceneof an accident before, and so he
said he couldn't talk.
And then after a few minutes hejust was, you know, shouted
hello, is everyone okay?
And Scott answered him back,and so he tried everything he
could to like open the door, butit was jammed.
So he went and got a crowbarY'all.
(28:03):
He smashed the back window outof the truck just to crawl
inside and be with my husbandand lay hands on him and pray
over him.
He prayed the blood of Jesusover him.
He claimed miraculous healingover him and he stayed there
with him, talking with him andpraying over him, until the
medical personnel arrived.
His sister had a vision or adream, but she didn't tell him
about it until the next day whenshe found out all of this
happened and she said that herdream was that he was going out
(28:26):
into the woods and there wasguard dogs barking and trying to
keep him out of the woods.
And she said there wassomething lodged in his throat
so he couldn't speak.
And once my younger brothertalked to Pastor Fred, he said
well, you didn't know this, butScott struggled with some demons
, and so we believe that thatdream that she had was prophetic
, that the enemy was sendingthese demons to keep him here
(28:50):
and there was a fight betweengood and evil.
And the Lord didn't want Scottthere by himself.
He didn't want him to die alone.
He loves Scott so much and heloves me so much that he not
only sent someone to be therewith him at the hour of his
death, but he sent a man of Godthat he knew in Arkansas to be
there and be able to pray withhim at the hour of his death.
But he's, then, a man of Godthat he knew in Arkansas to be
there and be able to pray withhim.
(29:10):
And since I heard that y'all, Ijust have so much peace that
when Scott's spirit left thisearth, that he was able to look
down and see this, not only thathe wasn't alone, but that God
sent a man of God that he knewto be with him at the hour of
his death Like how can I be madat God?
And right after Pastor Fred leftthe scene, he picked up the
(29:32):
phone and called Augie, of allpeople, and said hey, I don't
know if y'all are missing anyoneon the job site.
I just, you know, passed anaccident and it was a red, it
was a truck from with Texaslicense plate.
And Augie was like no, you know, we've got everybody here this
morning.
And the boss that hired him,the family friend, was standing
right there and said what colorwas the truck?
He knew that Scott was on hisway.
(29:52):
So had he not picked up thephone, we would have never known
that beautiful God story.
Wow, and I'm so grateful forthat because Pastor Fred told us
that he believes that Scott'slife had to be taken so that his
story could be shared and thata thousand souls could be saved.
(30:14):
Hmm and I've already seen somany people who are atheists
tell me that they're praying.
I've had friends say you'vechanged my beliefs.
I've had people say I bought myfirst Bible.
My sister's husband went backto church after 26 years of not
being in church.
It's just so real and sopersonal to just see God keep
(30:39):
showing up, and showing up, andshowing up.
Gianina (30:42):
Yeah, and you know it's crazy.
Today, as I was praying forthis episode and praying over
you, one thing that I just kepthearing the Holy Spirit say, I
just felt God say like Carmen isheld, like she's being held by
me, she's being held by the HolySpirit.
And so it's just hearing thesestories and your heart and your
(31:05):
perspective and the things thatpeople have said to you.
I almost picture it like you'rejumping off a cliff and there's
just this net that catches youand it's just holding you, like
even there's nothing that youhave to do to try to keep
yourself up, you're just beingheld by this net that is just
surrounding you.
(31:25):
And I wanted to share that.
But I also wanted to encourageyou in that that if there ever
does come a point where you feellike you have to be strong and
you feel like you have to holdit all together to just let go,
like don't, don't be afraid tojust jump off that cliff,
because there's going to be anet that is holding you up.
(31:46):
So just, I know, as momsespecially, we have this fear
that if we let go, are our kidsgoing to be strong, are their
hearts going to be okay?
I have to be strong for them.
But just I truly feel like Godis holding your whole family
just in the same way that heheld Scott in those last moments
(32:09):
and in the last year or lastfew months of his life.
He was so faithful in thatmoment that he's going to
continue being so faithful inevery moment in your guys' lives
moving forward.
I mean just to trust him inthat.
Yeah Amen, that is so beautiful.
Kiley (32:31):
And I think sometimes it's good for your kids to see
you almost fall apart from timeto time, because it is still
very much a real raw grievingsituation and sometimes they
need to break down too and ifthey think, well, mom, mom is
strong, she's gonna get throughthis.
So I can't show any emotioneither.
Sometimes you just have to tolet it go.
I do have a question, becauseobviously this is still very new
(32:53):
do you ever struggle with thethought that, like you know, all
of this changed in yourmarriage, all of this changed in
your marriage, all of thischanged in your husband's life?
And like, why didn't you getmore time with him in that
moment?
Like, do you, do you strugglewith those feelings?
Or I mean, I understand thatfaith and that peace that you
(33:14):
feel, but I also know that youknow grief comes in different
waves and so, for people who arelistening, who may not be there
yet, if you do struggle withthat, like what would be your
encouragement to them?
Carmen (33:28):
I have fallen more in love with Jesus than I have ever
loved him before, and it's likeI believe that the Lord had to
cut me in order to heal me, andthere's so many things that I
have been talking to the girlsabout lately.
I'm sorry that me and your daddid not model a healthy
(33:50):
relationship, that I stayed whenmost women probably would have
left.
But the Lord told me I'mhealing him and so I trusted the
Lord and I continue to pray forhim and do I wish that I had
more time with him and hissobriety Absolutely, but at the
same time, like my suffering onearth is nothing compared to the
(34:12):
glory that I'm going to have aneternity in paradise with him.
Gianina (34:15):
Mm-hmm, he was almost my.
Carmen (34:18):
God.
He was my comfort, he was mysecurity, he was my strength, he
was my protector, he was myprovider.
(34:43):
And God is showing me over andover again that he wants to be
those things for me.
He is those things for me andhe will never let me down.
He will never fail me.
He is perfect at all of thosethings.
And what a gift it is that I'mable to now love god as my
husband.
Yeah, even to the point whereI'm able to look forward to
(35:08):
years down the road and praythat, once I am fully healed,
that the lord will bring me anew husband who I will never
have to pray for his faith yeahand I will never have that
relationship again, because he'shealing me in so many ways that
I didn't even know I needed tobe healed in.
(35:28):
I don't know if that answeredyour question.
Kiley (35:29):
We've talked multiple times about how, you know, this
life is really hard sometimes,but we know that it's temporary
and all of it.
You know God uses all of it forhis glory and I think this is
such a testimony that you haveand the fact that it's bringing
more people to God, even thoughit's in a way that you, you know
, would not have desired in thefirst place.
(35:50):
Just the fact that you know allof what you've heard so far
from people who have beentouched by your story, people
who have been touched by yourstory, it's a big deal.
We're growing the kingdom andthat's what God wants.
He created us to be inrelationships with each other
(36:12):
and in relationship with Him,and so that's why he gives
everybody that choice, and so ifpeople hear your story and they
come to God because of it, thenthat's huge.
Carmen (36:20):
Yeah for sure.
I'm so grateful that, I mean,the Lord could have taken him in
his sickness, and what ablessing that the Lord took him
at his best, like there's noopportunity for him to relapse
and break my daughter's heart.
I just feel like that was sucha gift.
We don't, we don't know.
We don't know what that wouldhave looked like if he would
(36:42):
have stayed here on this earthstruggling.
But now he's fully healed.
He gets to be with Jesus.
Gianina (36:50):
That's such a beautiful story of redemption and
truthfully, I mean, that is thegospel and that is what Jesus
came for.
And so what do you think issomething that you hope others
would learn from Scott's storyand how God redeemed him?
Carmen (37:07):
Just that, if you're walking through a similar season
, that you just cling to hispromises.
God's promises are true, andthey're just as real for me as
they are for you.
Like there's nothing specialabout me.
Your tears are falling.
Let them fall.
You know the Bible promises oneday he will wipe away every
(37:29):
tear.
Death shall be no more.
There will be no more mourningor crying or pain.
This pain is temporary, butheaven is forever and I just
truly believe that, asChristians, what we're walking
through, the Lord will use itfor good.
If you are willing to be hisvessel, and the Bible says he
(37:51):
will comfort you with his love,not so that you can be comforted
, but so that you can comfortothers with his love.
So what a gift that we're ableto share the good news of Jesus
and the hope of heaven Evenwhile we grieve.
Joy and grief can coexist.
Gianina (38:06):
Yeah, that's so good and that's a theme that we've
been feeling is joy and griefcoexisting, and I think a
beautiful part of that is we canbring our grief to the Lord and
he grieves with us, he weepswith us and I think, even with
Scott in those last momentsthere were probably things that
(38:29):
he grieved that he would miss,and I truly believe that the
Lord was there with him in thosemoments and grieved with him
and wept with him.
And so now, on the other sideof eternity, like you said, he
has that healing and he has thatfullness.
And it's really really hard forus while we're still here on
this side of eternity, but justknowing that, ultimately,
(38:52):
everything that the enemy meantfor evil, god, will turn it
around for good for those wholove him, that's really really,
really powerful.
Kiley (39:00):
Yeah, thank you so much, and I want to ask because this
is we're not only walkingthrough this with you, but the
people who are listening to thisare also walking through
something similar with otherpeople, and so what I wanted to
ask was it's kind of twofold.
So what would you say tosomeone who's navigating a
(39:20):
similar season and also whatwould you say to the people who
are supporting somebody who'sgoing through that season?
Because you know, janinamentioned earlier that she just
saw your community show up foryou and we've talked about how,
when people are going throughcertain things, their community
around them doesn't always knowhow to approach the situation.
(39:42):
They don't always know how tohelp.
So what would you say to thosepeople who know somebody who's
going through something similarabout how they can ultimately be
there for them?
That is a great question.
Carmen (39:54):
I can tell you that I am so grateful that we were at
this new church because theytruly stepped up and they were
the church.
I mean everything that we wereat this new church because they
truly stepped up and they werethe church.
I mean everything that youwould want them to be like.
They were that for me.
And not only that, but I alsohad my.
I had my other church of 10years.
We were surrounded by twochurch families and I mean they
(40:14):
helped me pay for thecelebration of life.
You know, they brought Scott'sbody home.
They showed up and fixed myfence that was down from the
hurricane, bought me a computerso that I could work from home.
They brought, they made a mealtrain for me.
They started a GoFundMe for me.
It was just amazing to see, likehow many people just showed up.
(40:35):
So that's what I would say islike I had a lot of people that
didn't show up and when I them,you know, months later, I was
like what's up with that?
What is up with that?
Like I thought that you wouldbe running through the door and
they were like Well, no, I justI saw that you had so many
people and I didn't want to beone of those people, like I
(40:55):
wanted to wait and be like oneof the people afterwards and it
kind of hurt and like for me tohave to say where, where were
you?
So I would just say like, evenif you don't know what to say,
just your physical presence,just a text message sending a
meal, sending a prayer, sendinga gift in the mail.
(41:16):
I got so many just random thingsin the mail.
Flowers, you know, in the mail.
I got so many just randomthings in the mail.
Flowers, just little, tinythings, just people checking on
me.
I have one friend who even now,this Friday will be six months,
which is crazy but she willtext me randomly throughout the
week and say how is your grieftoday?
And most days I can say it'sokay, it's manageable, but other
(41:40):
days I'm like it's really heavy.
And then she's like let's gograb a coffee or do you want me
to come and sit with you andy'all?
Even if she doesn't physicallycome here, she is at least still
offering her heart, offeringher prayers, and that has just
been so beautiful to have.
People just want to come andsit and spend time with me and
(42:03):
talk about Scott, and talk aboutthose memories and think about
the good times and reminisceabout how he brought them so
much joy or held their baby inthe nursery, and so all of those
things are definitely preciousgifts.
So don't feel like you don'twant to show up because you
don't know what to say.
You don't have to have theright words, you don't have to
(42:27):
have any words, literally justlike being a warm body.
When you're feeling that kindof loss and that kind of void is
such a gift to just havesomebody physically present with
you.
One more thing I would like toadd is, if you're not plugged in
in a church, please get pluggedin in a church.
Don't just walk in the door andwalk out without talking to
people, without getting involved, without serving.
Get to know the people at yourchurch.
(42:49):
Get to know your church family.
Get in a small group, serve asa greeter.
Get to know your church family,because if you're not walking
through something right now, Ican tell you that that day is
going to come and you're goingto need them.
You're going to need yourchurch family.
So don't do life without them.
Yeah 100%.
Gianina (43:07):
Well, Carmen, would you be willing to just pray for our
listeners and specifically ifthere's anybody who is maybe
walking through a similar seasonas you?
Absolutely.
Carmen (43:19):
Heavenly Father, I just want to lift up everybody that's
under the sound of my voice,Lord.
I thank you, lord, for yourHoly Spirit.
I thank you that you're ourcomforter.
Lord, thank you that you're ourstrength, you're our provider.
Lord, I just ask that you wouldbe with each precious friend
who is listening to this podcastright now.
Lord, I ask for you to fillthem up with your peace, a peace
(43:40):
that surpasses allunderstanding.
Lord, I just thank you for thegift of their life.
I thank you for the gift oftheir community, lord, and I
just ask that you would comfortthem and that you would cover
them with your wings, lord Jesus, and thank you so much for your
goodness and for the promise ofheaven.
Lord, thank you so much for thathope that one day there will be
(44:01):
no more crying and no more pain.
Lord, thank you that you countevery tear.
You are so good.
God.
Thank you for being such a goodfather to us.
Thank you for loving us and forpursuing us.
Thank you that you leave the 99to come after the one.
Lord, thank you so much foryour love.
Lord Jesus, we love you so much.
It's in your holy name we pray.
Amen.
Gianina (44:21):
Amen.
Kiley (44:23):
Well, thank you so much, Carmen, for sharing your story
and for being here with us.
It really it's just a beautifulstory that continues to unfold
and I just I really appreciatethat you've shared that with us
today.
Carmen's journey is a testamentto the truth that even in our
deepest pain, god is present.
He's near, he's working andhe's redeeming.
(44:45):
Her story reminds us thatbeauty can truly come from the
ashes and that even in loss,there is victory in Christ.
If today's episode spoke to you, we'd love to hear from you,
share your thoughts, connectwith us and let's continue this
conversation.
And if you know someone whoneeds encouragement in their own
valley, please share thisepisode with them.
You never know how God mightuse it to bring hope and healing
(45:08):
.
As always remember, no matterwhat valley you're walking
through, you are never alone.
Thanks for joining us onWalkthrough and we'll see you
next time.
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