June 10, 2025 • 42 mins
The moments that shatter our world often reveal the most about who God is and how He works in our lives. Dana Stewart's powerful journey through a decade of overwhelming challenges illuminates this truth in ways that will resonate with anyone who's ever felt broken by circumstances beyond their control.
"I remember feeling like a bomb had exploded and that bomb was my life," Dana shares. "And then somebody turned out the light." This vivid image captures just the beginning of her story – a cascade of losses starting with beloved family members, followed by her own mysterious medical emergency that led to a cancer scare, her father's dementia diagnosis, and ultimately her mother's sudden death that thrust her into the role of full-time caregiver.
What makes Dana's testimony so compelling isn't just the magnitude of her challenges, but the intimate way she experienced God's presence through them. When panic attacks left her unable to function and grief threatened to drown her, when her professional identity crumbled and uncertainty clouded every decision, she discovered something profound: God wasn't standing at a distance waiting for her to get up. He was lying right beside her in the rubble.
"I just kind of turned my head and recognized and realized like okay, hold on a second, you're not alone. God was with me on the ground with my face down," she recalls. This nearness of God amid suffering became her anchor, especially as she navigated the complexities of caring for her father with advancing dementia while still processing her own grief.
Dana's story offers wisdom for anyone walking through dark valleys – from learning to receive help with open hands instead of closed fists, to finding peace in surrender rather than control. Her journey reminds us that sometimes the most powerful prayer is simply "Be still," allowing God to fight battles we were never meant to face alone.
Whether you're currently weathering a storm or supporting someone who is, this conversation will remind you that even when the light seems completely extinguished, God's faithfulness remains. Subscribe now and share this episode with someone who needs to know they're not alone in their struggle.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kiley (00:00):
Hey friends and welcome back to Walkthrough.
This is Kiley, and today I amso honored and privileged to sit
down with a really good friendof mine, Dana Stewart.
Dana's story is a powerfultestament to God's faithfulness
in the midst of long seasons ofgrief, loss, caregiving and
identity shifts.
Through 10 years ofoverwhelming challenges from
(00:21):
crippling anxiety and panicattacks to the sudden loss of
her mom and becoming a full-timecaregiver for her dad with
dementia Dana has learned towalk with God in the valleys and
victories alike.
Today she shares with us whatit looks like to lean on God
when she feels anything butsteady.
I know her honesty, strengthand faith will encourage your
heart, just like it hasencouraged mine.
(00:41):
Let's dive into Dana's story.
Well, dana, welcome, welcome,welcome.
I'm so glad that you arewanting to do this with us and
we just appreciate you beinghere so much.
Dana (00:52):
Well, thank you.
Thank you both for having me.
I appreciate you listening andhearing what I have to say.
You have shared that the past10 years have been filled with a
lot of loss and a lot oftransition.
Can you share a little bitabout your story and your
journey with the Lord and howthat's looked?
Sure, my husband and I we'vebeen married almost 22 years and
(01:14):
we had a really good first run10 years.
We were great, we were havingso much fun, we were traveling,
we were watching our friends getmarried, we're spending time
together.
But then we started kind ofexperiencing the things that
sort of come as time goes on.
You have life and people startto pass away, and it started
(01:35):
initially with my grandmother.
So my grandmother passed awayabout 12 years ago.
She was really pivotal in mylife and she was somebody that
was very important to me and shewas my last living grandparent.
So when she passed, it kind ofrocked me a little bit and I
remember just feeling like thiswas the person like she loved me
unconditionally.
She just was a strong, faithfulwoman and I just I kind of knew
(02:00):
that she was always there andthen she wasn't.
That started the downhill slide, of sort of like what we kind
of call this past season.
She passed away and then welost my husband's mom, we lost
my husband's dad, we lost ourdog, which some people might
think is like no big deal, butthat just broke our hearts and
(02:24):
it just kind of seemed to besort of this never ending thing,
and every year that would comearound, we'd be like, okay,
everybody's looking forward toNew Year's, right?
And I never was, because I waslike what's going to happen next
?
You know, what are we going tohave to deal with next?
Then, 20, I guess it was 2016,december, so end of the year.
We were coming home from aChristmas party and I basically
(02:50):
like long story short I fellasleep in the car and I woke up
in an emergency room with ateeny, tiny little nurse sitting
on me and telling me I was okaybecause I was in the hospital
and I had no idea what happened.
I had no idea what was going on.
I just looked at her and I saidwhat happened and she said we
don't know.
She just kind of was looking atme with this look on her face.
I happened to like look down,kind of like towards my feet,
and I saw my husband and he hadthis look on his face that's
(03:14):
seared in my memory and I'llnever forget it.
And it was just he.
It was terror, he was terrified.
And I just looked at him and Isaid what happened and he said
we don't know.
And he said we don't know.
He said we don't know, we'retrying to find out.
And so I did this like littlemini assessment.
I said, well, I can talk, sookay, we're good, I can
understand.
Okay, we're good.
(03:35):
And then I started moving myfingers and my toes.
I'm like, okay, things aremoving.
I probably had a heart attack orstroke, like that was sort of
my thought, and at the time Iwas early 40s.
I wasn't in the range wherethat would be like a typical
thing that would happen, but wedid have some family members
that passed away very early,like in their 40s, from heart
attacks and strokes.
(03:55):
So it wasn't out of the realmof possibility in my genetic
pool, I guess.
Basically.
Then I ended up in the hospitalfor the next couple of days
running a bunch of tests andthen trying to figure out what
happened to me, because therewas zero explanation and all of
the tests came back pretty muchwith nothing, zero reason for
(04:18):
what had happened to me.
I woke up and I had been inacute respiratory failure and
nobody knew why.
I did have some sort ofinfection.
Again, we didn't really knowwhy.
So they did, they put me in thehospital for a couple of days
and then basically we're like,well, we don't know what
happened, but during the testingthey found they did, you know,
(04:38):
cts and MRIs and all thesethings trying to figure this out
and they found a tumor, and thetumor was in my kidney.
They shifted gears at thatpoint and they're like, well,
she's alive, and like whateverhappened doesn't really matter,
because now we're going to focuson the fact that you have
kidney cancer.
And so I was like, okay, like,I guess I have cancer and we'll
deal with it, and I guess thefortunate thing about having
(05:00):
renal cancer, at least in mysituation, was that it was
encapsulated in the kidney andnothing was showing to have
spread anywhere.
So, fast forward January 20,2017, and having major surgery,
the doctor says to me you know,I've been reviewing your scans.
I just really feel verystrongly that we need to try to
(05:20):
save your kidney.
So I was like, okay, well, Itrust you, you know, I trust you
and come to find out.
Like he's a doctor that studiedin Georgetown and he basically
specialized in taking tumors outof people's kidneys.
There are people that, likehave a chronic condition where
they grow kidney tumors and theyhave to have them removed, and
(05:41):
so that was essentially what hedid and like he's the doctor
that quote unquote happens towalk into my room that day, and
so I said okay, so that was theagreement.
And I told him I'm not holdingyou to this, but if you can save
it, cool, that'll be good.
And that was sort of theattitude kind of going in.
I had my surgery in January of2017.
And it ended up being moreextensive than they had
(06:05):
anticipated.
I remember the nurse sayingthat she was going to get the
doctor and he came in and thefirst thing he says to me is
like hey, how are you doing?
And I was like okay, and thenhe said we saved your kidney.
My husband comes in a littlebit later.
I said so what was it?
Because part of the procedurewas they take the tumor out and
(06:27):
then they send it to pathologyand they find out what kind of
cancer it is.
We ran all the tests.
This tumor, basically, wassaying all the markers, all the
indicators were that it'smalignant, that it's kidney
cancer.
That was why we proceeded theway we did.
We fast forward a couple ofweeks and we walk into the
doctor's office and he says so,it wasn't cancer.
(06:49):
I said what do you mean?
Like I just remember sittingthere and I was like, what, what
did he just say?
And he's like, yeah, it wasn'tcancer.
And I said, okay, well then,what was it?
And he said, well, it's anextremely rare benign tumor that
occurs sometimes because very,very rare, very, very rare, and
everything about it says it'scancer, it's called a
(07:09):
metanephric adenoma.
But he's like so the good newsis we really don't have to
follow up with oncology, wedon't have any treatment, it's
gone and it wasn't cancer.
So, miracle, right, the factthat I had this doctor who, like
, knows what he's doing and hasexperience in this area.
He happened to be the doctorthat was there when this major
(07:30):
medical crisis happened to me.
I just knew that it was amiracle.
I knew that God had worked.
It could have been way worse.
So 2017, 2018 comes in, and then2019, and we start to notice
that my dad was starting to havesome challenges with his memory
(07:51):
, and it sort of started offinnocently enough.
There were times I actually wasfrustrated with him because it
would seem to me sometimes thathe would just like ignore me.
At one point I remember havinga conversation with my mom and I
just said it's really buggingme that dad is kind of just
blowing me off, and she kind offlippantly says something like
(08:12):
well, he just doesn't remember.
And I remember like stopping inthat moment and thinking, okay,
wait a minute, we might havebigger problems here.
Prior to everything, sort ofhitting the fan, my dad went out
on a motorcycle because he wasstill riding.
My dad loved his motorcycle andhe was in you know some
motorcycle club and he was doinghis thing and he was
(08:32):
volunteering at the VA, thelocal VA here.
My mom called me and she said Idon't know where your dad is.
I said what do you mean?
You don't know where he is.
She said he left this morningto go volunteer and I haven't
heard from him.
But it's not like him, becauseit's starting to get dark and he
doesn't stay out when it getsdark and I can't reach him on a
cell phone.
I don't know where he's at.
(08:52):
And so I said okay, what do wedo?
Long story short, he ended upmissing for about 36 hours
During that course of time.
Obviously it's totallyterrifying.
I had a friend who was a policeofficer in the area, so I
contacted him and he was lookingfor him too and trying to like
see if he could find him.
We had placed missing personsreports and at the time I was
(09:14):
telling them.
I said he has some cognitiveissues and he's also diabetic.
I don't know how long he's beenwithout his medication, I don't
know when he ate last.
And I ended up going to my mom'shouse the next day he still
hadn't been found.
We did get a tip that he was ina nearby county and we were
able to track him down to wherehe ended up.
He did call my mom at likethree in the morning and said
(09:36):
that he was going to stay in alocal hotel.
There was a hotel right acrossthe street.
He borrowed somebody's phone sowe're like okay, he's okay, but
she didn't think to ask himwhere he was.
I got on the phone and startedcalling the hotels in the area
and I was able to pinpointfinally like where he had been.
But every time I made a call hewas not there anymore, like he
just checked out half an hourago or he just did this.
(09:57):
So I called the policedepartment in that area and
ended up talking to this reallysweet lady and she's like we're
going to put a bolo out andwe'll make sure that the highway
patrol knows and the localsheriffs know, and like all of
these things.
I went to my mom's and just kindof sat with her and I got out.
I just feel so helpless and youdon't know what to do and it
(10:20):
was scary.
I just remember I told my mom,I said, well, you know, we have
to call Lindsay Lindsay's, mysister, and she lives in
Colorado.
Because I said, did you tellher?
She's like no, I haven't toldher yet.
I said, well, we need to lether know.
So I went outside and I calledmy sister and I explained what
had happened and I just rememberpraying to God and I just said
God, just let somebody find him,send angels down to find him or
(10:47):
just surround him by angels tobring him home.
Just let him be safe and helpus find him.
I was sitting in the car andwe're driving down the freeway
and I hear this voice and thisvoice says be still and know
that I am God.
And it was audible as you and Italking right now.
But of course, like it's reallyhard to be still when you're
like stressed, right, but Iheard it and I remember hearing
(11:10):
it and I took note and I waslike, okay, I'll try, I'll try.
So the next day, when I'mpraying this prayer, I said I'm
asking God for help and forangels and whatever way he needs
to make sure that my dad issafe.
So I'm walking back to thehouse after my prayer and I
again the voice just says, bestill.
And I just stopped and I walkedinto the house.
I sat with my mom and about fiveminutes later the phone rings
(11:37):
and it's somebody asking for mymom.
My mom says, yeah, this is me,and it's some lady who she and
her friend were jogging, and mydad was in the neighborhood, not
too far from his house, butdefinitely not where he lived,
and he had laid his bike down.
I think he was just fatiguedand tired and it wasn't really a
crash, he didn't really getinjured, it was just his bike
laid down like right in front ofthem.
And of course they went to himand asked him if he's okay and
he was able to give them thephone number to call my mom and
(12:00):
ask her to come and get him.
That was basically, you know,maybe she'll come and get me,
kind of thing.
And so I ended up speaking tothis girl and she says well, my
friend's a nurse and so she's,you know, making sure he's okay.
And I said please don't let himleave, tell me where you are,
we'll come to you.
We've been trying to find him.
He's been missing for the past36 hours.
I said he is diabetic and hedoes have some cognitive issues
(12:22):
and she's like, okay.
So they ended up ultimatelycalling the paramedics, who came
out and they took him to theemergency room in the area and
that's where we ended upreuniting with him.
And during the course of thatconversation it became really
clear that he had gotten lost.
He didn't know where he was, hedidn't know what had happened.
He couldn't tell us how longhe'd been gone.
(12:43):
He actually thought so he wentmissing on a Friday and he
thought it was Friday and in themeantime he had stayed in a
hotel and eaten food and drivenLord knows how, and he was in a
completely different area thanhe was supposed to be in to
start.
So everything kind of stoppedat that point and he did
(13:03):
recognize that he probablyshouldn't be driving anymore.
So that was a blessing and Idid explain.
I told him, I said, dad, youknow, you scared us to death.
We had no idea where you'vebeen.
And he got really sober, likein his thought, and he says,
well, I didn't mean to do that.
And I said, of course youdidn't.
We know you didn't do that onpurpose, so that happened.
And then March of 2020 rolls inon purpose, so that happened,
(13:27):
and then March of 2020 rolls in,and then we all know kind of
what started there and my momhad been struggling with some
physical issues for a while andshe was just kind of fatigued a
lot and she was trying to get tothe bottom of it and finally
she ended up getting a diagnosisand at the time it's like, okay
, well, at least we know it'swrong and there was treatment.
It's called myelodysplasticsyndrome Again, rare, super rare
(13:48):
, because we like rare things inmy family, apparently and so
it's like a rare condition andit acts like leukemia, but it's
not leukemia.
Ultimately, it's a conditionwhere she loses platelets and
then wasn't regenerating themthe way that normal people do,
and when you don't haveplatelets, like your blood
doesn't clot, so there's somedangers obviously with that.
And so she started treatment in2021.
(14:13):
And around this time I startedreally struggling with my mental
health.
There was a lot happening.
We lived in California, therewas a lot happening at work.
There was just a lot of stresstrying to navigate our job that
we had in the conditions that wewere in, trying to put out
(14:34):
fires and trying to help people.
There was a lot of stress, alot of changes, a lot of trying
to navigate these changes fromafar and it was just a really
stressful time at work.
But then also just recognizingthat my mom was ill, my dad has
significant issues and we'restill trying to figure out
what's going on with that, andthen just kind of like what's
(14:55):
going on, what's happening, howdo we navigate this?
So I knew that changes were onthe horizon, but I didn't know
what that looked like.
It was causing me a lot ofanxiety and the world just in
general was stressing me out andwork was stressing me out and
there was, you know, the stuffgoing on with my parents that's
(15:18):
stressing me out and I startedto have panic attacks.
That was not something I'd everdealt with before.
It sort of shook me because Iwas.
I've always been told that I'mreally strong and I've always
been told that I'm resilient,that I just sort of am able to
take charge in a situation.
It was one of the things my momactually said well, you're
really good in a crisis, dana.
(15:38):
So when I started having theseattacks, it was hard for me
because I viewed it as aweakness.
Okay, and I'll be honest aboutthat.
I viewed it as like this meansthat I'm not capable.
This means that I'm not strongor resilient and I have no
control.
The first time it happened,actually, I just remember
standing in my living room and Iwas feeling very shaky and I
(16:00):
felt like my skin was crawlingand there was buzzing in my head
, like there were bees in myhead All of my coping skills
that I had been using for stressin the past.
Nothing was working.
I called my husband on videoand he was driving and he
actually had pulled over and hewas like hey, what's going on?
And I said I don't know, I'mnot okay, something's wrong.
We talked for a minute and thenI'm like I'm fine, I'm fine,
(16:21):
I'm fine.
And I got off the phone and I'mlike I'm not fine, I'm not okay
.
So I ended up calling my sisterand I told her.
I said I don't know what'swrong and I started sobbing and
she just was like what ishappening?
I was explaining to her this ishow I'm feeling this is what's
going on.
I can't shake it, won't feellike I was having a heart attack
(16:50):
or any of that, but I just Iwasn't in my body.
I said, am I having an anxietyattack?
And she said you're having apanic attack.
A couple of minutes later, likethe door opens and my husband's
standing there, he was justlike something told me I needed
to come home.
I ended up like just basicallylike word vomiting to him all of
this stuff and like he knew youknow the things that were going
on, obviously, but I just waslike I can't function, I don't
know what's wrong.
At that point I started talkingto my doctor and ultimately was
(17:15):
put on an anti-anxiety,anti-depressant medication.
That was really hard for me andagain I viewed it sort of as a
weakness, and not that I haveany problem with people taking
medications.
If it works for you, great, doit, do what you need to do to
help yourself, right, and that'sreally my approach with a lot
of things.
But for me it was a challengeand for me it was really hard,
(17:36):
but I did it.
And at the time then my doctorsaid we're going to pull you out
of work, we're going to put youon leave for three months, and
this was probably May.
At this point now and I'm like,all right, we'll do it.
In the middle of this too, mymom was hospitalized twice.
So she was hospitalized inFebruary of 2021.
And then again in May or Juneactually might have been June of
(17:58):
2021.
She was in the hospital for aweek each time, which sort of
put things into like aninteresting situation, because
my dad remember, he hascognitive delays, right, and she
was telling me he reallycouldn't be left alone, and so
I'm like, well, what do we dowith him?
So I was trying to navigatethat and her being in the
(18:19):
hospital she's supposed to bedoing better, but she's not Her
second hospitalization.
It's like, well, her health istanking and like what's going on
.
And I just remember sitting inthe hospital room with her.
She kind of said a couple ofthings, like you know, I think
maybe we should call theattorney and about the trust
(18:40):
kind of thing, but she didn'telaborate and I said, okay,
we'll do that when you get outof the hospital.
She got discharged from thehospital and I went to see her
on it was after the 4th of Julyand I was there and we hung out
and I took my dad to the store.
I came back and she's like I'mjust tired and I said, okay,
I'll be back Friday.
It was a Wednesday and so Isaid I'll be back Friday.
(19:01):
And then she said, if I go laydown, you're going to leave.
And I said, well, yeah, I'llleave, but I'm coming back, I'll
be back on Friday.
And she said, okay.
So she went and laid down and Ileft and that was Wednesday, it
was July 8th and my phone ringsand I was in my bedroom and I
(19:23):
knew, I just knew.
So I look at my phone and it'smy dad and he said your mom fell
and they've taken her to ahospital.
They won't let me go.
And the paramedics were stillthere.
So the paramedics said I thinkthis is where we're taking her,
and so I said, okay, I'll comeand get you.
And he said, okay, it took me alittle bit of time to get out.
I called my husband and I saidokay, like this has happened and
(19:46):
I'm going to go.
And he said do you want me tocome with you?
And I said, no, you're fine,it's okay.
So we hung up and I was like Igot dressed and I was like
standing in the hallway and Ihear this voice again and the
voice said have him go with you.
And I said okay, and I knew,and I knew why.
Like there's this part, youjust know.
(20:07):
We got in the car, we went andget my dad and we go to the
hospital and ultimately my mompassed away that day.
She basically had a brain bleedand because she didn't have
platelets, she wasn't able toclot.
We don't know if the fallcaused the bleed or if the bleed
caused the fall, but that'sultimately what happened.
So I woke up on a Thursdaymorning, just a normal day, and
(20:28):
I went to bed on Thursday nightand like my whole life was
changed right, and I justremember standing in the
emergency room and I had myhusband take my dad out of the
room.
He was just having a hard time.
The doctors were there andthere was like a team of doctors
, because where she was at isactually a teaching hospital, so
there were a lot of people kindof around and he basically
(20:48):
asked if she was going to everwake up and they said probably
not.
And he was just like okay, andso I told my husband, I said
just, you know, go sit with him.
Go sit with him because hedoesn't want to be here.
I don't want to force him to behere, but like we can't leave
yet either.
Because there were you knowlogistics and things.
And I just remember standing inthe ER and then the ER nurse was
(21:10):
there and she said well, youknow, you can talk to her if you
want to.
And then I just remember I justlooked at her and I said you
know, mom, it's okay, like youcan go, it's okay.
And I said I'll take care ofdad.
I always told you I would.
And I remember the nurse as Iwalked out of the room she came
up behind me I'll never forgetit because it's like the small
(21:31):
kindnesses of people sometimesand she just put her hand on my
shoulder as we were walking outand I remember just being really
stiff because I was like Ican't cry, I can't cry, I can't
lose it.
My dad is losing his wife andhe has these issues and if I
lose it, I can't lose it.
But I still remember that thatwas one of the kindest things.
(21:56):
I just remember standing in thehallway at my parents' house and
I just looked at Jim, myhusband, and I just said I don't
like, what am I going to do?
And what am I going to do?
And I don't know how many timesI said it he just he said just
stop, it's okay.
What he said was how do you eatan elephant?
And I said I don't know, likehow do you eat an elephant, you
know, and he's like one bite ata time.
And I'll tell you that that hasbeen like a slogan that we have
used many times over the pastseveral years when things have
(22:19):
gotten really rough andstressful.
So that day everything shiftedand I went into caregiving mode
and like so I was dealing withmy own like mental health issues
at this point, anxiety, all ofthis stuff, and kind of
uncertainty about where I wasgoing to be going from here.
I was currently on leave fromwork and then my mom dies in the
(22:42):
middle of it.
I just felt really lost and Ican talk about bits and pieces
of that year, but there's a lotthat I really kind of don't
remember and I guess that's aresponse to trauma.
You sort of block things out.
So that started the season thatI guess I would say that I'm
(23:02):
currently in, where I just kindof went into caregiver mode,
dealing with the dementia andsort of coming to terms with
that and watching somebody thatyou love.
That was a very, like vitalperson.
My dad's a Vietnam veteran.
He's a decorated war hero, hehas friends, he rode a
(23:24):
motorcycle.
He kind of had this life andhe's kind of become somebody
that is very different.
In some ways that's been a goodthing.
He's actually really likeappreciative, and not that he
wasn't in the past, but he'smuch more vocal about like his
appreciation and gratitude andthings that he never was before.
He and I, you know, have forgedthis like different type of
(23:46):
relationship that come from mecaring for him and helping him.
I feel like that's been apositive thing, in spite of sort
of the heart breaking parts ofit as well.
Kiley (23:57):
Well, one of the things I want to ask, because obviously
there's been a lot of loss, alot of grief, and not just with
the loss of your mom.
But you were with your job for25 years.
You know, don't do a job likethe one we did without having a
passion for it and so leavingthat job after so many years, I
(24:20):
would imagine that there wouldbe a huge identity shift.
You mentioned that you werelost.
How has God helped you toreveal your identity in the last
couple of years?
Dana (24:32):
So I never found myself to be the person that wanted to
identify myself by what I didfor work, right, people would
ask about work and I'd say youknow, this is what I do, but I
didn't really want to spend awhole bunch of time talking
about it.
Basically, it's like I need toshut it off, because it was a
kind of job that you reallyended up taking home with you,
in your mind, in your heart, andso it was hard to walk away
(24:54):
from it and I just was having ahard time in general, but it
wasn't like I necessarily wantedto leave or wanted to not be
there anymore, and I had clientsthat I'd worked with for the
entire time that I'd workedthere, which was about 23 years.
You have relationships that youbuild and that have grown over
time and you've walked throughsome of the hardest things that
(25:15):
these people have had to dealwith with their children or
whatever and so I did cherishthat and that was really hard.
It was hard for me to leavethat and I had friends at the
office, but there was a supportnetwork there as well that I
felt like I was walking awayfrom and I really did Like who
am I now, what am I doing now?
I'm not this person anymorethat had this job and that did
(25:38):
these things, and I remember alot of times saying, oh, I don't
work anymore and so therefore,like I have nothing to
contribute or nothing to say ina conversation and people would
say, no, you are, you do work,you're your dad's caregiver,
that's work.
Like the loss of that identityfor me was a bigger challenge
than I had figured that it wouldbe and I really did kind of
(26:00):
feel lost in that for a while,where I it's like who am I?
What value do I have?
There was a lot of that, youknow, and then sort of feeling
guilty that that I felt that asa loss, that that it wasn't just
good enough for me to like carefor my dad and like be there
for him because I knew he neededit.
It wasn't that was never aquestion, like it was never a
(26:23):
question that I would providecare for him as best as I could.
My husband was on board and hewas very much like yes, this is
where God wants you to be rightnow.
And I really will say that Ifelt in some ways very calm
about it.
I remember driving home onceand just feeling very at peace
and very calm, like I'm exactlywhere I'm supposed to be.
I really feel that I feel thatthis is where God wants me to be
(26:44):
.
It sucks.
I hate it, I don't want to behere, but like, at the same time
, I'm here and this is where I'msupposed to be, and I felt very
like at peace with thatposition.
I developed some prettysignificant social anxiety for a
while where I couldn't go outin a lot of ways because I just
didn't feel like anybody elsewho can identify with what I'm
(27:08):
going through Nobody.
I didn't know anybody at thattime that was dealing with what
I was dealing with.
Who wants to hear like my woeis me in conversation?
I can't stand being around.
Who else wants to be around me?
Nobody wants to be around mebecause I'm dealing with a lot.
I'm dealing with grief and inmany different forms.
So I just didn't feel like Ihad anything to offer anybody
and so I really struggled inthat arena.
(27:31):
But then my husband likes toremind me all the time.
He's like you're where you'resupposed to be, you're God's
child and God is with you.
You need to remember whose youare, not necessarily who you are
.
And so, therefore, as long asyou're walking in obedience and
as long as you're where Godwants you to be, this is where
(27:53):
you're supposed to be.
That's where your identity iswhen you step out in faith and
when you walk in obedience, evenif you don't know what that
looks like, because I had noidea.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I like to think in picturessometimes, so I remember.
There's two things.
I remember just feeling likeone day a bomb exploded and that
bomb was my life, my whole life, and you know it was my mom
(28:15):
passing, my dad's illness, mymental health issues, my job,
and this bomb just exploded andmy life just went boom.
And then somebody turned outthe light.
And I remember feeling like I'mjust this rebel and I have no
idea where my life went, whereeverything's at.
Remember feeling like I can'teven see the light.
(28:37):
I know that there's supposed tobe a light at the end of the
tunnel, right, because that'swhat everybody tells you, but I
was like there's no light, noteven a pinprick, it's just dark,
there's nothing but rubblearound me.
And I just remember feelinglike I'm just face down on the
ground, and I used to always sayif you're face down, turn
around and look up.
God's in heaven and he's up inthe sky.
(28:57):
And I just remember I can'teven move.
And I kind of just turned myhead and recognized and realized
like okay, hold on a second,you're not alone.
God was with me on the groundwith my face down, and I didn't
even have to look to the side, Ijust knew he was there.
And I remember, after the firstyear, feeling like I don't even
(29:24):
know how I got here.
This happened on this date andit's been a year and I don't
remember, I don't know how I gothere.
And then it was thisrealization and God was like
because I carried you.
So there's another footprintstory where he talks about.
You see, one set of footprintsis because God was carrying you.
But he was with me in the worstpart of my life and I just was
face down and he was next to me.
He didn't even tell me I had tostep out in faith, he just
(29:45):
picked me up and slowly butsurely the light came.
And as time went on, the lightdid get brighter and I was able
to maybe walk a little bit.
But that whole time that he waswith me because I'm his and he
doesn't leave his kids to justlike hang out in the rubble.
(30:11):
So that was kind of the onerealization was that you know
that he has never left, he wasalways with me and that he's
provided for me.
Another thing that came to me aswell and I was talking to my
therapist one day and she saidsomething along the lines of
(30:32):
it's really hard to accept or toreceive if you always keep your
hands closed.
Because I was having a reallyhard time accepting help, asking
for help, knowing what I needed, and she said people want to
help, but you can't receiveblessings if your hands are
closed.
And I said that makes sense,like that made sense to me.
(30:56):
And I looked down and I startedlaughing and all of our
sessions are done on Zoom.
So she's like why are youlaughing?
And I said I said I just lookeddown and these are my hands and
I lifted my hands up to thecamera and they were in fists
and I was literally sittingthere with my hands and fists
while she's talking to me aboutthis.
(31:18):
Again, it was just like youcan't receive anything, you
can't receive help, you can'treceive blessings if you're so
rigid and your hands are closed,and that really resonated with
me and I literally opened myhands.
I started doing that andstarted asking for help or at
least accepting help from people.
That's when the blessings came.
(31:40):
God just really showed up for meemotionally.
He showed up for me in support,you know, from people that I
never would have, never, ever ina million years, would have
thought in ways that I neverwould have thought, in support
for myself, support for my dad,and he's just brought these
people into our lives that havekind of carried us through and
helped us.
I mentioned the be still likethat is something that he
(32:04):
continues every once in a while.
When things get rough or when Istart to think that I have
control over everything, thevoice will come.
The voice will say you know, bestill.
And when I stop and when I'mstill is when I usually hear
from him, and it's usually whenthe blessings come, and I'll
just look and say that was God,because I have to let go.
(32:26):
I have to let go of my feelingof control, I have to let go of
my feelings of inadequacy, guilt, overwhelm, and just let God
handle it, because he does andand he has, and he will continue
to do that and I do believethat walking this walk with my
(32:46):
dad is heartbreaking.
And now there's anticipatorygrief because I know that it's
progressive his condition, andI've seen, I've witnessed that
I've seen over the past fewyears of the decline and I know
that there's more to come.
But I also feel much calmer anda lot more at peace about the
situation in general because Iknow that I'm not alone in it.
(33:10):
I know that God's with me.
I know that he's picked me upand carried me in the past.
I know He'll continue to dothat.
I know that He'll walk with meif I'm able to walk.
I know that He'll carry me ifI'm has shown me over and over
and over again that he'sfaithful and that he'll be there
and that I'm not alone.
Kiley (33:29):
Yeah, you were talking about feeling face down in the
rubble and that image in my mindit's like a little cartoon
image of Jesus standing therewith his arms out and all these
rocks are coming behind him andyou have the person in front of
him with one or two rocks infront of them and it's like oh
my gosh, ouch, jesus, where areyou?
And Jesus is shielding him fromall of these other things that
(33:52):
are happening.
He's like are you okay?
That vision just came to mymind when you were like all I
had to do is for him.
I had to know that he was thereand, yes, there's a lot of
stuff that's been going on, butjust knowing that he's there,
walking through it, like hefeels all of that with you, he
wants to pull you through.
Dana (34:08):
There was a song like the first, like year or so, every
day I would wake up and I wouldplay the song.
It's by Phil Wickham and youprobably know it, but it's
called Battle Belongs.
Gianina (34:18):
Yeah.
Dana (34:19):
Basically, you know, it basically is talking about like
he's before me, nobody can likehurt me because he's there, he's
already like won the battle.
I just had to listen to thatbecause sometimes I just had no
work, I didn't even know what topray for and because I just was
so overwhelmed, I felt like Iwas underwater, I felt like I
was drowning.
Like there were just so manytimes that I felt like I was
(34:40):
just so underwater and that Iwas drowning.
I just would sing that song, Iwould listen to that song, walk
around my house and just singthat song and cry sometimes
because it's like God, I just Idon't even know what to do, but
like the battle is yours, it hasto be yours, because I can't do
this.
Gianina (34:55):
I think it's really cool just listening to your
story and seeing God'sfaithfulness as you're saying it
.
I can see so many times whereGod was in that situation and
God was in that situation andjust how he showed up in
different times that maybe wewouldn't even see it when we're
going through it.
And even particularly, one ofthe things that I thought of was
(35:16):
when you had your cancerdiagnosis and then also when
your dad disappeared for 36hours, just kind of thinking
about how you couldn't evenworry in those times.
Worry wasn't going to doanything.
And the verse in Matthew thatsays who can add a day to their
lives by worrying and nobody canthere was nothing that you
(35:39):
could do or there's no amount ofstress that you could carry
that was going to fix thatsituation, and it was just
through God that there was nocancer and it was just through
God that your father was found,and so it's just such a good
reminder for all of us not tostress, because it really that's
not what's going to be helpfulin that situation.
(36:00):
The times that have been themost helpful for you, from what
I heard in your story, is thetimes that you surrendered, and
it's just it's a great reminderthat worry isn't going to add
time to our lives.
We can't make our lives longerby worrying, but we can make
them more peaceful and impactfuland better for the time that we
(36:23):
are here by just surrenderingto God.
So that's really cool that weare here by just surrendering to
God, so that's really cool.
Dana (36:28):
Yeah, and that's actually it.
It really was when you just letgo.
I really felt like when I justlet go and let God people say
that all the time.
But that's been something thathas really resonated with me,
where it's just be still.
Know that I am God, know thatI've got this, know that I've
got you and I'm not leaving you.
(36:49):
You're my kid and I'm not goingto leave you and I'm going to
take on the brunt of the stonesthat people are throwing, or I'm
going to carry you out of therubble and the tunnel and I'm
going to bring you back into thelight.
That's it.
You just have to let go and letme, and I'm going to bring you
back into the light.
That's it.
You just have to let go and letme.
(37:09):
Let me do it.
Let me do it because I want to,because I love you and you're
my child and I love you, andthat's been really something
that has really, I think, helpedme in maintaining calm.
I still worry.
I worry all the time.
There's just a morepeacefulness and a more sense of
(37:31):
calm now, because I know that,because I know that God has
brought me through and that hewill continue to do so and,
whatever happens, it took awhile to get here.
It wasn't like it just happenedovernight.
It's more of being able to justkind of look back over all of
this and recognize that God hascarried me through and he's been
with me the whole time, evenwhen I felt completely hopeless
(37:54):
and alone, but like knowing thatI wasn't.
Gianina (37:58):
A lot of times we're like okay, so how do we navigate
this current valley or thiscurrent situation that we're in?
And I love what you just said,that you can navigate these
times by looking back and seeingGod's faithfulness in your life
in the past.
And if you maybe just recentlygot saved and you don't know
what God's faithfulness haslooked like in your life,
(38:19):
reading the Bible and seeing hisfaithfulness over and over
again in different situations,we fight these current battles
in our lives by recognizing hewas faithful then.
He's going to be faithful now.
He didn't let me go then.
He's not going to let me go now.
So really good.
Dana (38:35):
Exactly Nail on the head.
There you go.
Gianina (38:39):
So, if you don't mind, I am going to just pray over you
and your family and then justanyone else who might be
navigating a situation like this.
I thought of this while youwere speaking so many times we
need to get your husband likesome type of MVP award, because
there were so many things hesaid that I was like well, he's
(39:00):
such a good partner like this,the way that he stood by things,
and then he just has so muchwisdom and things.
So just let him know we gavehim a little shout out.
Dana (39:10):
I'll flat out say my husband's an angel.
God knew what he was doing whenhe put him in my life.
Gianina (39:15):
And I will never.
Dana (39:16):
Yeah, he's, he's the best.
He's, he's the best.
That's sweet.
You can leave that in.
Yeah, we'll leave that in Well.
Gianina (39:25):
Lord, we just come to you tonight and I thank you so
much for Dana and just her story, the faithfulness that you've
shown over her life time andtime again.
It's such a great example anddisplay of your goodness and who
you are.
And even when we can't makesense of a situation or we don't
understand why something'shappened, we trust you and we
know that you are good.
(39:45):
And I just pray right now overher father, over Stan Lord.
I just pray that peace wouldcarry him all the days of his
life, even if his mind starts tofade or even if his memory
starts to fade.
I pray that your presence wouldremain, that he would have
peace and he would have joy allthe days of his life, and that
(40:08):
that's what his family willremember him for, what his
children will remember him for.
And I pray for Dana as shenavigates this next season of
her life and the current seasonthat she's in, that you would
just continue to give her theselittle glimpses and glimmers of
who you are every single day,that she would know you're with
her, that even when unexpectedthings happen, she can look back
(40:30):
and see that you've been withher this whole time.
And I just pray for asupernatural strength to come
over her and a grace to comeover her, and I pray that, even
as she's pouring out and pouringout so much her and her husband
, jim, as they're giving so much, lord that you would give them
unexpected blessings, eventhings that maybe they don't
think that they deserve, orthings that they don't think to
(40:53):
even look for, but that therewould be just unexpected
blessings pouring over theirlives and that your love would
overflow.
And, lord, I just pray foranybody else who might be
navigating a difficult time likethis, particularly with their
parents.
God, that you would give themhope in this situation.
Lord, I pray that, just asDana's been able to have these
(41:14):
incredible resources, that doorswould just open for them, that
they would be able to get theirparents the care that they need.
You would be with them everysingle step of the way.
And I pray, father, that youwould open our eyes to see you
in the situations where we feellike we're alone.
I pray, lord, that anyone who'slistening to this right now,
god, that we would begin to justfeel your presence, more Holy
(41:39):
Spirit, that you would work inand through us, and that we
would just be able to be thehands and feet of Jesus every
single day In Jesus' name Amen.
Kiley (41:48):
Thank you so much, Dana.
Thank you so much again forbeing here with us tonight.
I'm so excited that we well, wekind of got a chance to even
catch up, because we haven'ttalked in a while.
Dana (41:58):
A little bit.
I know I have to get myselfback out to Tennessee pretty
soon here.
Kiley (42:02):
Yes, please, our house is ready for you your story.
It's such a reminder that evenin the deepest valleys, we're
never walking alone, and I'm sograteful for you for sharing so
openly with us today and forletting us see that it's not
just the struggles but thefaithfulness of God through all
of it.
If Dana's story has resonatedwith you, I encourage you to
(42:25):
take a moment today to pause tobreathe and to remember that God
is right there with you too,even when you can't see it.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of Walkthrough.
Be sure to subscribe and sharethis conversation with a friend
who needs encouragement, andwe'll see you next time.
Hey friends and welcome back to Walkthrough.
This is Kiley, and today I amso honored and privileged to sit
down with a really good friendof mine, Dana Stewart.
Dana's story is a powerfultestament to God's faithfulness
in the midst of long seasons ofgrief, loss, caregiving and
identity shifts.
Through 10 years ofoverwhelming challenges from
(00:21):
crippling anxiety and panicattacks to the sudden loss of
her mom and becoming a full-timecaregiver for her dad with
dementia Dana has learned towalk with God in the valleys and
victories alike.
Today she shares with us whatit looks like to lean on God
when she feels anything butsteady.
I know her honesty, strengthand faith will encourage your
heart, just like it hasencouraged mine.
(00:41):
Let's dive into Dana's story.
Well, dana, welcome, welcome,welcome.
I'm so glad that you arewanting to do this with us and
we just appreciate you beinghere so much.
Dana (00:52):
Well, thank you.
Thank you both for having me.
I appreciate you listening andhearing what I have to say.
You have shared that the past10 years have been filled with a
lot of loss and a lot oftransition.
Can you share a little bitabout your story and your
journey with the Lord and howthat's looked?
Sure, my husband and I we'vebeen married almost 22 years and
(01:14):
we had a really good first run10 years.
We were great, we were havingso much fun, we were traveling,
we were watching our friends getmarried, we're spending time
together.
But then we started kind ofexperiencing the things that
sort of come as time goes on.
You have life and people startto pass away, and it started
(01:35):
initially with my grandmother.
So my grandmother passed awayabout 12 years ago.
She was really pivotal in mylife and she was somebody that
was very important to me and shewas my last living grandparent.
So when she passed, it kind ofrocked me a little bit and I
remember just feeling like thiswas the person like she loved me
unconditionally.
She just was a strong, faithfulwoman and I just I kind of knew
(02:00):
that she was always there andthen she wasn't.
That started the downhill slide, of sort of like what we kind
of call this past season.
She passed away and then welost my husband's mom, we lost
my husband's dad, we lost ourdog, which some people might
think is like no big deal, butthat just broke our hearts and
(02:24):
it just kind of seemed to besort of this never ending thing,
and every year that would comearound, we'd be like, okay,
everybody's looking forward toNew Year's, right?
And I never was, because I waslike what's going to happen next
?
You know, what are we going tohave to deal with next?
Then, 20, I guess it was 2016,december, so end of the year.
We were coming home from aChristmas party and I basically
(02:50):
like long story short I fellasleep in the car and I woke up
in an emergency room with ateeny, tiny little nurse sitting
on me and telling me I was okaybecause I was in the hospital
and I had no idea what happened.
I had no idea what was going on.
I just looked at her and I saidwhat happened and she said we
don't know.
She just kind of was looking atme with this look on her face.
I happened to like look down,kind of like towards my feet,
and I saw my husband and he hadthis look on his face that's
(03:14):
seared in my memory and I'llnever forget it.
And it was just he.
It was terror, he was terrified.
And I just looked at him and Isaid what happened and he said
we don't know.
And he said we don't know.
He said we don't know, we'retrying to find out.
And so I did this like littlemini assessment.
I said, well, I can talk, sookay, we're good, I can
understand.
Okay, we're good.
(03:35):
And then I started moving myfingers and my toes.
I'm like, okay, things aremoving.
I probably had a heart attack orstroke, like that was sort of
my thought, and at the time Iwas early 40s.
I wasn't in the range wherethat would be like a typical
thing that would happen, but wedid have some family members
that passed away very early,like in their 40s, from heart
attacks and strokes.
(03:55):
So it wasn't out of the realmof possibility in my genetic
pool, I guess.
Basically.
Then I ended up in the hospitalfor the next couple of days
running a bunch of tests andthen trying to figure out what
happened to me, because therewas zero explanation and all of
the tests came back pretty muchwith nothing, zero reason for
(04:18):
what had happened to me.
I woke up and I had been inacute respiratory failure and
nobody knew why.
I did have some sort ofinfection.
Again, we didn't really knowwhy.
So they did, they put me in thehospital for a couple of days
and then basically we're like,well, we don't know what
happened, but during the testingthey found they did, you know,
(04:38):
cts and MRIs and all thesethings trying to figure this out
and they found a tumor, and thetumor was in my kidney.
They shifted gears at thatpoint and they're like, well,
she's alive, and like whateverhappened doesn't really matter,
because now we're going to focuson the fact that you have
kidney cancer.
And so I was like, okay, like,I guess I have cancer and we'll
deal with it, and I guess thefortunate thing about having
(05:00):
renal cancer, at least in mysituation, was that it was
encapsulated in the kidney andnothing was showing to have
spread anywhere.
So, fast forward January 20,2017, and having major surgery,
the doctor says to me you know,I've been reviewing your scans.
I just really feel verystrongly that we need to try to
(05:20):
save your kidney.
So I was like, okay, well, Itrust you, you know, I trust you
and come to find out.
Like he's a doctor that studiedin Georgetown and he basically
specialized in taking tumors outof people's kidneys.
There are people that, likehave a chronic condition where
they grow kidney tumors and theyhave to have them removed, and
(05:41):
so that was essentially what hedid and like he's the doctor
that quote unquote happens towalk into my room that day, and
so I said okay, so that was theagreement.
And I told him I'm not holdingyou to this, but if you can save
it, cool, that'll be good.
And that was sort of theattitude kind of going in.
I had my surgery in January of2017.
And it ended up being moreextensive than they had
(06:05):
anticipated.
I remember the nurse sayingthat she was going to get the
doctor and he came in and thefirst thing he says to me is
like hey, how are you doing?
And I was like okay, and thenhe said we saved your kidney.
My husband comes in a littlebit later.
I said so what was it?
Because part of the procedurewas they take the tumor out and
(06:27):
then they send it to pathologyand they find out what kind of
cancer it is.
We ran all the tests.
This tumor, basically, wassaying all the markers, all the
indicators were that it'smalignant, that it's kidney
cancer.
That was why we proceeded theway we did.
We fast forward a couple ofweeks and we walk into the
doctor's office and he says so,it wasn't cancer.
(06:49):
I said what do you mean?
Like I just remember sittingthere and I was like, what, what
did he just say?
And he's like, yeah, it wasn'tcancer.
And I said, okay, well then,what was it?
And he said, well, it's anextremely rare benign tumor that
occurs sometimes because very,very rare, very, very rare, and
everything about it says it'scancer, it's called a
(07:09):
metanephric adenoma.
But he's like so the good newsis we really don't have to
follow up with oncology, wedon't have any treatment, it's
gone and it wasn't cancer.
So, miracle, right, the factthat I had this doctor who, like
, knows what he's doing and hasexperience in this area.
He happened to be the doctorthat was there when this major
(07:30):
medical crisis happened to me.
I just knew that it was amiracle.
I knew that God had worked.
It could have been way worse.
So 2017, 2018 comes in, and then2019, and we start to notice
that my dad was starting to havesome challenges with his memory
(07:51):
, and it sort of started offinnocently enough.
There were times I actually wasfrustrated with him because it
would seem to me sometimes thathe would just like ignore me.
At one point I remember havinga conversation with my mom and I
just said it's really buggingme that dad is kind of just
blowing me off, and she kind offlippantly says something like
(08:12):
well, he just doesn't remember.
And I remember like stopping inthat moment and thinking, okay,
wait a minute, we might havebigger problems here.
Prior to everything, sort ofhitting the fan, my dad went out
on a motorcycle because he wasstill riding.
My dad loved his motorcycle andhe was in you know some
motorcycle club and he was doinghis thing and he was
(08:32):
volunteering at the VA, thelocal VA here.
My mom called me and she said Idon't know where your dad is.
I said what do you mean?
You don't know where he is.
She said he left this morningto go volunteer and I haven't
heard from him.
But it's not like him, becauseit's starting to get dark and he
doesn't stay out when it getsdark and I can't reach him on a
cell phone.
I don't know where he's at.
(08:52):
And so I said okay, what do wedo?
Long story short, he ended upmissing for about 36 hours
During that course of time.
Obviously it's totallyterrifying.
I had a friend who was a policeofficer in the area, so I
contacted him and he was lookingfor him too and trying to like
see if he could find him.
We had placed missing personsreports and at the time I was
(09:14):
telling them.
I said he has some cognitiveissues and he's also diabetic.
I don't know how long he's beenwithout his medication, I don't
know when he ate last.
And I ended up going to my mom'shouse the next day he still
hadn't been found.
We did get a tip that he was ina nearby county and we were
able to track him down to wherehe ended up.
He did call my mom at likethree in the morning and said
(09:36):
that he was going to stay in alocal hotel.
There was a hotel right acrossthe street.
He borrowed somebody's phone sowe're like okay, he's okay, but
she didn't think to ask himwhere he was.
I got on the phone and startedcalling the hotels in the area
and I was able to pinpointfinally like where he had been.
But every time I made a call hewas not there anymore, like he
just checked out half an hourago or he just did this.
(09:57):
So I called the policedepartment in that area and
ended up talking to this reallysweet lady and she's like we're
going to put a bolo out andwe'll make sure that the highway
patrol knows and the localsheriffs know, and like all of
these things.
I went to my mom's and just kindof sat with her and I got out.
I just feel so helpless and youdon't know what to do and it
(10:20):
was scary.
I just remember I told my mom,I said, well, you know, we have
to call Lindsay Lindsay's, mysister, and she lives in
Colorado.
Because I said, did you tellher?
She's like no, I haven't toldher yet.
I said, well, we need to lether know.
So I went outside and I calledmy sister and I explained what
had happened and I just rememberpraying to God and I just said
God, just let somebody find him,send angels down to find him or
(10:47):
just surround him by angels tobring him home.
Just let him be safe and helpus find him.
I was sitting in the car andwe're driving down the freeway
and I hear this voice and thisvoice says be still and know
that I am God.
And it was audible as you and Italking right now.
But of course, like it's reallyhard to be still when you're
like stressed, right, but Iheard it and I remember hearing
(11:10):
it and I took note and I waslike, okay, I'll try, I'll try.
So the next day, when I'mpraying this prayer, I said I'm
asking God for help and forangels and whatever way he needs
to make sure that my dad issafe.
So I'm walking back to thehouse after my prayer and I
again the voice just says, bestill.
And I just stopped and I walkedinto the house.
I sat with my mom and about fiveminutes later the phone rings
(11:37):
and it's somebody asking for mymom.
My mom says, yeah, this is me,and it's some lady who she and
her friend were jogging, and mydad was in the neighborhood, not
too far from his house, butdefinitely not where he lived,
and he had laid his bike down.
I think he was just fatiguedand tired and it wasn't really a
crash, he didn't really getinjured, it was just his bike
laid down like right in front ofthem.
And of course they went to himand asked him if he's okay and
he was able to give them thephone number to call my mom and
(12:00):
ask her to come and get him.
That was basically, you know,maybe she'll come and get me,
kind of thing.
And so I ended up speaking tothis girl and she says well, my
friend's a nurse and so she's,you know, making sure he's okay.
And I said please don't let himleave, tell me where you are,
we'll come to you.
We've been trying to find him.
He's been missing for the past36 hours.
I said he is diabetic and hedoes have some cognitive issues
(12:22):
and she's like, okay.
So they ended up ultimatelycalling the paramedics, who came
out and they took him to theemergency room in the area and
that's where we ended upreuniting with him.
And during the course of thatconversation it became really
clear that he had gotten lost.
He didn't know where he was, hedidn't know what had happened.
He couldn't tell us how longhe'd been gone.
(12:43):
He actually thought so he wentmissing on a Friday and he
thought it was Friday and in themeantime he had stayed in a
hotel and eaten food and drivenLord knows how, and he was in a
completely different area thanhe was supposed to be in to
start.
So everything kind of stoppedat that point and he did
(13:03):
recognize that he probablyshouldn't be driving anymore.
So that was a blessing and Idid explain.
I told him, I said, dad, youknow, you scared us to death.
We had no idea where you'vebeen.
And he got really sober, likein his thought, and he says,
well, I didn't mean to do that.
And I said, of course youdidn't.
We know you didn't do that onpurpose, so that happened.
And then March of 2020 rolls inon purpose, so that happened,
(13:27):
and then March of 2020 rolls in,and then we all know kind of
what started there and my momhad been struggling with some
physical issues for a while andshe was just kind of fatigued a
lot and she was trying to get tothe bottom of it and finally
she ended up getting a diagnosisand at the time it's like, okay
, well, at least we know it'swrong and there was treatment.
It's called myelodysplasticsyndrome Again, rare, super rare
(13:48):
, because we like rare things inmy family, apparently and so
it's like a rare condition andit acts like leukemia, but it's
not leukemia.
Ultimately, it's a conditionwhere she loses platelets and
then wasn't regenerating themthe way that normal people do,
and when you don't haveplatelets, like your blood
doesn't clot, so there's somedangers obviously with that.
And so she started treatment in2021.
(14:13):
And around this time I startedreally struggling with my mental
health.
There was a lot happening.
We lived in California, therewas a lot happening at work.
There was just a lot of stresstrying to navigate our job that
we had in the conditions that wewere in, trying to put out
(14:34):
fires and trying to help people.
There was a lot of stress, alot of changes, a lot of trying
to navigate these changes fromafar and it was just a really
stressful time at work.
But then also just recognizingthat my mom was ill, my dad has
significant issues and we'restill trying to figure out
what's going on with that, andthen just kind of like what's
(14:55):
going on, what's happening, howdo we navigate this?
So I knew that changes were onthe horizon, but I didn't know
what that looked like.
It was causing me a lot ofanxiety and the world just in
general was stressing me out andwork was stressing me out and
there was, you know, the stuffgoing on with my parents that's
(15:18):
stressing me out and I startedto have panic attacks.
That was not something I'd everdealt with before.
It sort of shook me because Iwas.
I've always been told that I'mreally strong and I've always
been told that I'm resilient,that I just sort of am able to
take charge in a situation.
It was one of the things my momactually said well, you're
really good in a crisis, dana.
(15:38):
So when I started having theseattacks, it was hard for me
because I viewed it as aweakness.
Okay, and I'll be honest aboutthat.
I viewed it as like this meansthat I'm not capable.
This means that I'm not strongor resilient and I have no
control.
The first time it happened,actually, I just remember
standing in my living room and Iwas feeling very shaky and I
(16:00):
felt like my skin was crawlingand there was buzzing in my head
, like there were bees in myhead All of my coping skills
that I had been using for stressin the past.
Nothing was working.
I called my husband on videoand he was driving and he
actually had pulled over and hewas like hey, what's going on?
And I said I don't know, I'mnot okay, something's wrong.
We talked for a minute and thenI'm like I'm fine, I'm fine,
(16:21):
I'm fine.
And I got off the phone and I'mlike I'm not fine, I'm not okay
.
So I ended up calling my sisterand I told her.
I said I don't know what'swrong and I started sobbing and
she just was like what ishappening?
I was explaining to her this ishow I'm feeling this is what's
going on.
I can't shake it, won't feellike I was having a heart attack
(16:50):
or any of that, but I just Iwasn't in my body.
I said, am I having an anxietyattack?
And she said you're having apanic attack.
A couple of minutes later, likethe door opens and my husband's
standing there, he was justlike something told me I needed
to come home.
I ended up like just basicallylike word vomiting to him all of
this stuff and like he knew youknow the things that were going
on, obviously, but I just waslike I can't function, I don't
know what's wrong.
At that point I started talkingto my doctor and ultimately was
(17:15):
put on an anti-anxiety,anti-depressant medication.
That was really hard for me andagain I viewed it sort of as a
weakness, and not that I haveany problem with people taking
medications.
If it works for you, great, doit, do what you need to do to
help yourself, right, and that'sreally my approach with a lot
of things.
But for me it was a challengeand for me it was really hard,
(17:36):
but I did it.
And at the time then my doctorsaid we're going to pull you out
of work, we're going to put youon leave for three months, and
this was probably May.
At this point now and I'm like,all right, we'll do it.
In the middle of this too, mymom was hospitalized twice.
So she was hospitalized inFebruary of 2021.
And then again in May or Juneactually might have been June of
(17:58):
2021.
She was in the hospital for aweek each time, which sort of
put things into like aninteresting situation, because
my dad remember, he hascognitive delays, right, and she
was telling me he reallycouldn't be left alone, and so
I'm like, well, what do we dowith him?
So I was trying to navigatethat and her being in the
(18:19):
hospital she's supposed to bedoing better, but she's not Her
second hospitalization.
It's like, well, her health istanking and like what's going on
.
And I just remember sitting inthe hospital room with her.
She kind of said a couple ofthings, like you know, I think
maybe we should call theattorney and about the trust
(18:40):
kind of thing, but she didn'telaborate and I said, okay,
we'll do that when you get outof the hospital.
She got discharged from thehospital and I went to see her
on it was after the 4th of Julyand I was there and we hung out
and I took my dad to the store.
I came back and she's like I'mjust tired and I said, okay,
I'll be back Friday.
It was a Wednesday and so Isaid I'll be back Friday.
(19:01):
And then she said, if I go laydown, you're going to leave.
And I said, well, yeah, I'llleave, but I'm coming back, I'll
be back on Friday.
And she said, okay.
So she went and laid down and Ileft and that was Wednesday, it
was July 8th and my phone ringsand I was in my bedroom and I
(19:23):
knew, I just knew.
So I look at my phone and it'smy dad and he said your mom fell
and they've taken her to ahospital.
They won't let me go.
And the paramedics were stillthere.
So the paramedics said I thinkthis is where we're taking her,
and so I said, okay, I'll comeand get you.
And he said, okay, it took me alittle bit of time to get out.
I called my husband and I saidokay, like this has happened and
(19:46):
I'm going to go.
And he said do you want me tocome with you?
And I said, no, you're fine,it's okay.
So we hung up and I was like Igot dressed and I was like
standing in the hallway and Ihear this voice again and the
voice said have him go with you.
And I said okay, and I knew,and I knew why.
Like there's this part, youjust know.
(20:07):
We got in the car, we went andget my dad and we go to the
hospital and ultimately my mompassed away that day.
She basically had a brain bleedand because she didn't have
platelets, she wasn't able toclot.
We don't know if the fallcaused the bleed or if the bleed
caused the fall, but that'sultimately what happened.
So I woke up on a Thursdaymorning, just a normal day, and
(20:28):
I went to bed on Thursday nightand like my whole life was
changed right, and I justremember standing in the
emergency room and I had myhusband take my dad out of the
room.
He was just having a hard time.
The doctors were there andthere was like a team of doctors
, because where she was at isactually a teaching hospital, so
there were a lot of people kindof around and he basically
(20:48):
asked if she was going to everwake up and they said probably
not.
And he was just like okay, andso I told my husband, I said
just, you know, go sit with him.
Go sit with him because hedoesn't want to be here.
I don't want to force him to behere, but like we can't leave
yet either.
Because there were you knowlogistics and things.
And I just remember standing inthe ER and then the ER nurse was
(21:10):
there and she said well, youknow, you can talk to her if you
want to.
And then I just remember I justlooked at her and I said you
know, mom, it's okay, like youcan go, it's okay.
And I said I'll take care ofdad.
I always told you I would.
And I remember the nurse as Iwalked out of the room she came
up behind me I'll never forgetit because it's like the small
(21:31):
kindnesses of people sometimesand she just put her hand on my
shoulder as we were walking outand I remember just being really
stiff because I was like Ican't cry, I can't cry, I can't
lose it.
My dad is losing his wife andhe has these issues and if I
lose it, I can't lose it.
But I still remember that thatwas one of the kindest things.
(21:56):
I just remember standing in thehallway at my parents' house and
I just looked at Jim, myhusband, and I just said I don't
like, what am I going to do?
And what am I going to do?
And I don't know how many timesI said it he just he said just
stop, it's okay.
What he said was how do you eatan elephant?
And I said I don't know, likehow do you eat an elephant, you
know, and he's like one bite ata time.
And I'll tell you that that hasbeen like a slogan that we have
used many times over the pastseveral years when things have
(22:19):
gotten really rough andstressful.
So that day everything shiftedand I went into caregiving mode
and like so I was dealing withmy own like mental health issues
at this point, anxiety, all ofthis stuff, and kind of
uncertainty about where I wasgoing to be going from here.
I was currently on leave fromwork and then my mom dies in the
(22:42):
middle of it.
I just felt really lost and Ican talk about bits and pieces
of that year, but there's a lotthat I really kind of don't
remember and I guess that's aresponse to trauma.
You sort of block things out.
So that started the season thatI guess I would say that I'm
(23:02):
currently in, where I just kindof went into caregiver mode,
dealing with the dementia andsort of coming to terms with
that and watching somebody thatyou love.
That was a very, like vitalperson.
My dad's a Vietnam veteran.
He's a decorated war hero, hehas friends, he rode a
(23:24):
motorcycle.
He kind of had this life andhe's kind of become somebody
that is very different.
In some ways that's been a goodthing.
He's actually really likeappreciative, and not that he
wasn't in the past, but he'smuch more vocal about like his
appreciation and gratitude andthings that he never was before.
He and I, you know, have forgedthis like different type of
(23:46):
relationship that come from mecaring for him and helping him.
I feel like that's been apositive thing, in spite of sort
of the heart breaking parts ofit as well.
Kiley (23:57):
Well, one of the things I want to ask, because obviously
there's been a lot of loss, alot of grief, and not just with
the loss of your mom.
But you were with your job for25 years.
You know, don't do a job likethe one we did without having a
passion for it and so leavingthat job after so many years, I
(24:20):
would imagine that there wouldbe a huge identity shift.
You mentioned that you werelost.
How has God helped you toreveal your identity in the last
couple of years?
Dana (24:32):
So I never found myself to be the person that wanted to
identify myself by what I didfor work, right, people would
ask about work and I'd say youknow, this is what I do, but I
didn't really want to spend awhole bunch of time talking
about it.
Basically, it's like I need toshut it off, because it was a
kind of job that you reallyended up taking home with you,
in your mind, in your heart, andso it was hard to walk away
(24:54):
from it and I just was having ahard time in general, but it
wasn't like I necessarily wantedto leave or wanted to not be
there anymore, and I had clientsthat I'd worked with for the
entire time that I'd workedthere, which was about 23 years.
You have relationships that youbuild and that have grown over
time and you've walked throughsome of the hardest things that
(25:15):
these people have had to dealwith with their children or
whatever and so I did cherishthat and that was really hard.
It was hard for me to leavethat and I had friends at the
office, but there was a supportnetwork there as well that I
felt like I was walking awayfrom and I really did Like who
am I now, what am I doing now?
I'm not this person anymorethat had this job and that did
(25:38):
these things, and I remember alot of times saying, oh, I don't
work anymore and so therefore,like I have nothing to
contribute or nothing to say ina conversation and people would
say, no, you are, you do work,you're your dad's caregiver,
that's work.
Like the loss of that identityfor me was a bigger challenge
than I had figured that it wouldbe and I really did kind of
(26:00):
feel lost in that for a while,where I it's like who am I?
What value do I have?
There was a lot of that, youknow, and then sort of feeling
guilty that that I felt that asa loss, that that it wasn't just
good enough for me to like carefor my dad and like be there
for him because I knew he neededit.
It wasn't that was never aquestion, like it was never a
(26:23):
question that I would providecare for him as best as I could.
My husband was on board and hewas very much like yes, this is
where God wants you to be rightnow.
And I really will say that Ifelt in some ways very calm
about it.
I remember driving home onceand just feeling very at peace
and very calm, like I'm exactlywhere I'm supposed to be.
I really feel that I feel thatthis is where God wants me to be
(26:44):
.
It sucks.
I hate it, I don't want to behere, but like, at the same time
, I'm here and this is where I'msupposed to be, and I felt very
like at peace with thatposition.
I developed some prettysignificant social anxiety for a
while where I couldn't go outin a lot of ways because I just
didn't feel like anybody elsewho can identify with what I'm
(27:08):
going through Nobody.
I didn't know anybody at thattime that was dealing with what
I was dealing with.
Who wants to hear like my woeis me in conversation?
I can't stand being around.
Who else wants to be around me?
Nobody wants to be around mebecause I'm dealing with a lot.
I'm dealing with grief and inmany different forms.
So I just didn't feel like Ihad anything to offer anybody
and so I really struggled inthat arena.
(27:31):
But then my husband likes toremind me all the time.
He's like you're where you'resupposed to be, you're God's
child and God is with you.
You need to remember whose youare, not necessarily who you are
.
And so, therefore, as long asyou're walking in obedience and
as long as you're where Godwants you to be, this is where
(27:53):
you're supposed to be.
That's where your identity iswhen you step out in faith and
when you walk in obedience, evenif you don't know what that
looks like, because I had noidea.
I had no idea what I was doing.
I like to think in picturessometimes, so I remember.
There's two things.
I remember just feeling likeone day a bomb exploded and that
bomb was my life, my whole life, and you know it was my mom
(28:15):
passing, my dad's illness, mymental health issues, my job,
and this bomb just exploded andmy life just went boom.
And then somebody turned outthe light.
And I remember feeling like I'mjust this rebel and I have no
idea where my life went, whereeverything's at.
Remember feeling like I can'teven see the light.
(28:37):
I know that there's supposed tobe a light at the end of the
tunnel, right, because that'swhat everybody tells you, but I
was like there's no light, noteven a pinprick, it's just dark,
there's nothing but rubblearound me.
And I just remember feelinglike I'm just face down on the
ground, and I used to always sayif you're face down, turn
around and look up.
God's in heaven and he's up inthe sky.
(28:57):
And I just remember I can'teven move.
And I kind of just turned myhead and recognized and realized
like okay, hold on a second,you're not alone.
God was with me on the groundwith my face down, and I didn't
even have to look to the side, Ijust knew he was there.
And I remember, after the firstyear, feeling like I don't even
(29:24):
know how I got here.
This happened on this date andit's been a year and I don't
remember, I don't know how I gothere.
And then it was thisrealization and God was like
because I carried you.
So there's another footprintstory where he talks about.
You see, one set of footprintsis because God was carrying you.
But he was with me in the worstpart of my life and I just was
face down and he was next to me.
He didn't even tell me I had tostep out in faith, he just
(29:45):
picked me up and slowly butsurely the light came.
And as time went on, the lightdid get brighter and I was able
to maybe walk a little bit.
But that whole time that he waswith me because I'm his and he
doesn't leave his kids to justlike hang out in the rubble.
(30:11):
So that was kind of the onerealization was that you know
that he has never left, he wasalways with me and that he's
provided for me.
Another thing that came to me aswell and I was talking to my
therapist one day and she saidsomething along the lines of
(30:32):
it's really hard to accept or toreceive if you always keep your
hands closed.
Because I was having a reallyhard time accepting help, asking
for help, knowing what I needed, and she said people want to
help, but you can't receiveblessings if your hands are
closed.
And I said that makes sense,like that made sense to me.
(30:56):
And I looked down and I startedlaughing and all of our
sessions are done on Zoom.
So she's like why are youlaughing?
And I said I said I just lookeddown and these are my hands and
I lifted my hands up to thecamera and they were in fists
and I was literally sittingthere with my hands and fists
while she's talking to me aboutthis.
(31:18):
Again, it was just like youcan't receive anything, you
can't receive help, you can'treceive blessings if you're so
rigid and your hands are closed,and that really resonated with
me and I literally opened myhands.
I started doing that andstarted asking for help or at
least accepting help from people.
That's when the blessings came.
(31:40):
God just really showed up for meemotionally.
He showed up for me in support,you know, from people that I
never would have, never, ever ina million years, would have
thought in ways that I neverwould have thought, in support
for myself, support for my dad,and he's just brought these
people into our lives that havekind of carried us through and
helped us.
I mentioned the be still likethat is something that he
(32:04):
continues every once in a while.
When things get rough or when Istart to think that I have
control over everything, thevoice will come.
The voice will say you know, bestill.
And when I stop and when I'mstill is when I usually hear
from him, and it's usually whenthe blessings come, and I'll
just look and say that was God,because I have to let go.
(32:26):
I have to let go of my feelingof control, I have to let go of
my feelings of inadequacy, guilt, overwhelm, and just let God
handle it, because he does andand he has, and he will continue
to do that and I do believethat walking this walk with my
(32:46):
dad is heartbreaking.
And now there's anticipatorygrief because I know that it's
progressive his condition, andI've seen, I've witnessed that
I've seen over the past fewyears of the decline and I know
that there's more to come.
But I also feel much calmer anda lot more at peace about the
situation in general because Iknow that I'm not alone in it.
(33:10):
I know that God's with me.
I know that he's picked me upand carried me in the past.
I know He'll continue to dothat.
I know that He'll walk with meif I'm able to walk.
I know that He'll carry me ifI'm has shown me over and over
and over again that he'sfaithful and that he'll be there
and that I'm not alone.
Kiley (33:29):
Yeah, you were talking about feeling face down in the
rubble and that image in my mindit's like a little cartoon
image of Jesus standing therewith his arms out and all these
rocks are coming behind him andyou have the person in front of
him with one or two rocks infront of them and it's like oh
my gosh, ouch, jesus, where areyou?
And Jesus is shielding him fromall of these other things that
(33:52):
are happening.
He's like are you okay?
That vision just came to mymind when you were like all I
had to do is for him.
I had to know that he was thereand, yes, there's a lot of
stuff that's been going on, butjust knowing that he's there,
walking through it, like hefeels all of that with you, he
wants to pull you through.
Dana (34:08):
There was a song like the first, like year or so, every
day I would wake up and I wouldplay the song.
It's by Phil Wickham and youprobably know it, but it's
called Battle Belongs.
Gianina (34:18):
Yeah.
Dana (34:19):
Basically, you know, it basically is talking about like
he's before me, nobody can likehurt me because he's there, he's
already like won the battle.
I just had to listen to thatbecause sometimes I just had no
work, I didn't even know what topray for and because I just was
so overwhelmed, I felt like Iwas underwater, I felt like I
was drowning.
Like there were just so manytimes that I felt like I was
(34:40):
just so underwater and that Iwas drowning.
I just would sing that song, Iwould listen to that song, walk
around my house and just singthat song and cry sometimes
because it's like God, I just Idon't even know what to do, but
like the battle is yours, it hasto be yours, because I can't do
this.
Gianina (34:55):
I think it's really cool just listening to your
story and seeing God'sfaithfulness as you're saying it
.
I can see so many times whereGod was in that situation and
God was in that situation andjust how he showed up in
different times that maybe wewouldn't even see it when we're
going through it.
And even particularly, one ofthe things that I thought of was
(35:16):
when you had your cancerdiagnosis and then also when
your dad disappeared for 36hours, just kind of thinking
about how you couldn't evenworry in those times.
Worry wasn't going to doanything.
And the verse in Matthew thatsays who can add a day to their
lives by worrying and nobody canthere was nothing that you
(35:39):
could do or there's no amount ofstress that you could carry
that was going to fix thatsituation, and it was just
through God that there was nocancer and it was just through
God that your father was found,and so it's just such a good
reminder for all of us not tostress, because it really that's
not what's going to be helpfulin that situation.
(36:00):
The times that have been themost helpful for you, from what
I heard in your story, is thetimes that you surrendered, and
it's just it's a great reminderthat worry isn't going to add
time to our lives.
We can't make our lives longerby worrying, but we can make
them more peaceful and impactfuland better for the time that we
(36:23):
are here by just surrenderingto God.
So that's really cool that weare here by just surrendering to
God, so that's really cool.
Dana (36:28):
Yeah, and that's actually it.
It really was when you just letgo.
I really felt like when I justlet go and let God people say
that all the time.
But that's been something thathas really resonated with me,
where it's just be still.
Know that I am God, know thatI've got this, know that I've
got you and I'm not leaving you.
(36:49):
You're my kid and I'm not goingto leave you and I'm going to
take on the brunt of the stonesthat people are throwing, or I'm
going to carry you out of therubble and the tunnel and I'm
going to bring you back into thelight.
That's it.
You just have to let go and letme, and I'm going to bring you
back into the light.
That's it.
You just have to let go and letme.
(37:09):
Let me do it.
Let me do it because I want to,because I love you and you're
my child and I love you, andthat's been really something
that has really, I think, helpedme in maintaining calm.
I still worry.
I worry all the time.
There's just a morepeacefulness and a more sense of
(37:31):
calm now, because I know that,because I know that God has
brought me through and that hewill continue to do so and,
whatever happens, it took awhile to get here.
It wasn't like it just happenedovernight.
It's more of being able to justkind of look back over all of
this and recognize that God hascarried me through and he's been
with me the whole time, evenwhen I felt completely hopeless
(37:54):
and alone, but like knowing thatI wasn't.
Gianina (37:58):
A lot of times we're like okay, so how do we navigate
this current valley or thiscurrent situation that we're in?
And I love what you just said,that you can navigate these
times by looking back and seeingGod's faithfulness in your life
in the past.
And if you maybe just recentlygot saved and you don't know
what God's faithfulness haslooked like in your life,
(38:19):
reading the Bible and seeing hisfaithfulness over and over
again in different situations,we fight these current battles
in our lives by recognizing hewas faithful then.
He's going to be faithful now.
He didn't let me go then.
He's not going to let me go now.
So really good.
Dana (38:35):
Exactly Nail on the head.
There you go.
Gianina (38:39):
So, if you don't mind, I am going to just pray over you
and your family and then justanyone else who might be
navigating a situation like this.
I thought of this while youwere speaking so many times we
need to get your husband likesome type of MVP award, because
there were so many things hesaid that I was like well, he's
(39:00):
such a good partner like this,the way that he stood by things,
and then he just has so muchwisdom and things.
So just let him know we gavehim a little shout out.
Dana (39:10):
I'll flat out say my husband's an angel.
God knew what he was doing whenhe put him in my life.
Gianina (39:15):
And I will never.
Dana (39:16):
Yeah, he's, he's the best.
He's, he's the best.
That's sweet.
You can leave that in.
Yeah, we'll leave that in Well.
Gianina (39:25):
Lord, we just come to you tonight and I thank you so
much for Dana and just her story, the faithfulness that you've
shown over her life time andtime again.
It's such a great example anddisplay of your goodness and who
you are.
And even when we can't makesense of a situation or we don't
understand why something'shappened, we trust you and we
know that you are good.
(39:45):
And I just pray right now overher father, over Stan Lord.
I just pray that peace wouldcarry him all the days of his
life, even if his mind starts tofade or even if his memory
starts to fade.
I pray that your presence wouldremain, that he would have
peace and he would have joy allthe days of his life, and that
(40:08):
that's what his family willremember him for, what his
children will remember him for.
And I pray for Dana as shenavigates this next season of
her life and the current seasonthat she's in, that you would
just continue to give her theselittle glimpses and glimmers of
who you are every single day,that she would know you're with
her, that even when unexpectedthings happen, she can look back
(40:30):
and see that you've been withher this whole time.
And I just pray for asupernatural strength to come
over her and a grace to comeover her, and I pray that, even
as she's pouring out and pouringout so much her and her husband
, jim, as they're giving so much, lord that you would give them
unexpected blessings, eventhings that maybe they don't
think that they deserve, orthings that they don't think to
(40:53):
even look for, but that therewould be just unexpected
blessings pouring over theirlives and that your love would
overflow.
And, lord, I just pray foranybody else who might be
navigating a difficult time likethis, particularly with their
parents.
God, that you would give themhope in this situation.
Lord, I pray that, just asDana's been able to have these
(41:14):
incredible resources, that doorswould just open for them, that
they would be able to get theirparents the care that they need.
You would be with them everysingle step of the way.
And I pray, father, that youwould open our eyes to see you
in the situations where we feellike we're alone.
I pray, lord, that anyone who'slistening to this right now,
god, that we would begin to justfeel your presence, more Holy
(41:39):
Spirit, that you would work inand through us, and that we
would just be able to be thehands and feet of Jesus every
single day In Jesus' name Amen.
Kiley (41:48):
Thank you so much, Dana.
Thank you so much again forbeing here with us tonight.
I'm so excited that we well, wekind of got a chance to even
catch up, because we haven'ttalked in a while.
Dana (41:58):
A little bit.
I know I have to get myselfback out to Tennessee pretty
soon here.
Kiley (42:02):
Yes, please, our house is ready for you your story.
It's such a reminder that evenin the deepest valleys, we're
never walking alone, and I'm sograteful for you for sharing so
openly with us today and forletting us see that it's not
just the struggles but thefaithfulness of God through all
of it.
If Dana's story has resonatedwith you, I encourage you to
(42:25):
take a moment today to pause tobreathe and to remember that God
is right there with you too,even when you can't see it.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of Walkthrough.
Be sure to subscribe and sharethis conversation with a friend
who needs encouragement, andwe'll see you next time.
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