April 15, 2025 • 57 mins
Carrie Spratley joins us to share her powerful journey from young motherhood to author, revealing how God met her in life's deepest valleys and transformed her through trust and surrender. Her testimony of becoming a mother at 21, experiencing miscarriage, and finding purpose through serving natural disaster victims shows how God works through our hardest circumstances.
• Becoming a mom at 21 and navigating feelings of shame and separation from God's best
• Learning to trust God by allowing Him to love through us, even in our darkest moments
• Processing grief after miscarriage and seeing God's restoration through the birth of another son
• Finding purpose through volunteer work with Samaritan's Purse despite being naturally introverted
• Understanding our job as parents is to guide children toward independence, not dependence
• Rejecting mediocrity and embracing God's capacity to do "exceedingly abundantly more"
• Practical steps to discover God's purpose, including writing down kingdom-minded desires
• Recognizing the difference between God's known will (love God, love others, make disciples) and His discerning will for our individual lives
If this episode encouraged you, please share it with a friend who needs to hear this message of hope. Take a minute to leave a review - it helps us spread the hope of Jesus even further.
Get Carrie’s book here: https://amzn.to/3RPSBDH
Join our fb community group and meet your hosts: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BQ6qhcd3A/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Gianina (00:00):
Welcome back to Walk Through the podcast, where we
don't just look back on life'svalleys we walk through them
together, finding God in themiddle of it all.
I'm your host, Gianina, joinedby my co-host, Kiley, and today
we have an incredible guest withus, my dear friend and author
of the book, Who You Choose toBe, Carrie Spratley.
Carrie's story is one ofresilience, faith and victory.
(00:22):
She has faced deep challenges,from miscarriage and autoimmune
struggles to financial loss,emptying the nest and navigating
the heartbreak of having ahomeless adult child.
But through it all, she hasseen God's faithfulness at work.
Today, we'll talk about how Godmeets us in our hardest moments
, what it means to fully trustHim even when circumstances try
(00:44):
to shake our faith, and howCarrie has moved from a season
of valleys into a place ofgratitude and victory.
This is a conversation youwon't want to miss.
So welcome, Carrie.
We're so excited to have you on.
Carrie (00:57):
I'm so excited, honored, to be here with you guys.
Gianina (01:00):
Yeah, this is gonna.
I already know from readingyour book that this is going to
be such a great episode, so I'mreally excited about it.
But I would love for you tojust tell us a little bit about
yourself and your journey withthe Lord, and what that has
looked like.
Carrie (01:13):
Okay, I was raised in a very small town about an hour
from where I live today, whichis where I've lived most of my
adult life.
I became a mom and a wife at avery young age of 21.
I wanted to be a mom for aslong as I could remember.
I was raised in the church andI'm one of those people that
(01:37):
does not ever remember a timewhere I did not have belief in
God.
I truly understood that Ineeded a Savior.
I went to Christian camps andvacation Bible schools and
Sunday school every week.
Any opportunity I had to acceptJesus into my heart.
I just kept saying, yes, I needyou, God.
(02:00):
But it wasn't until I became awife and a mom at such a young
age that my relationship withJesus needed to deepen.
I needed him to help me do allthe things.
So we plugged into our localchurch when I was 23.
And I started to dig in bygoing to Bible studies for women
, become involved with smallgroups and I attended
(02:23):
conferences like Women of Faithand women's retreats through
church.
And then, at age 27, I wentpublic with my faith in baptism
and serving in children'sministries.
And then, as time progressedand I grew in my faith.
My ministries have evolved andhave stepped into more
(02:44):
leadership type roles.
Kiley (02:48):
So, Carrie, can you take us back to one of the hardest
moments and share how you sawGod working through that?
Carrie (02:57):
Yes for me.
So when you're raised to knowthe difference between right and
wrong, raised to know thedifference between right and
wrong, you choose not God's bestfor your life.
There is a lot of cripplingguilt and shame that the enemy
will remind you of, and it wasincredibly painful to face the
reality that I knew God's bestfor me was to be married first
(03:21):
and I didn't make that choiceand that separated me from God.
It separated me from His bestand that was incredibly painful
because I absolutely knew thedifference.
And then I had to face my momand my dad and they were very
gracious and merciful to me inthat time and I'm so grateful
(03:45):
that they embraced me and lovedme and didn't judge me and just
came alongside me and said we'rehere for you.
It was just a really dark timefor, even at such a young age,
to have understood the level ofdepravity of my sin in that
moment but then also understandGod's grace and mercy and to
(04:06):
know that he was still for meand that he was going to
continue to take care of me.
And ultimately it was my lackof trust in Him to trust His
best for my life and His waysbeing best that caused that
chasm between Him and me, and itwas hard.
It was a hard thing to face,but he's so gracious and just
(04:30):
carried me through and justguided me back on the path of
where I needed to be, which Ijust can't imagine not having
that guidance and that love thathe surrounded me with, despite
the fact that I chose outside ofhis best for my life Was that
through how your parents hadreacted to that.
Kiley (04:52):
What was that like for you to experience God in that
time?
Carrie (04:56):
It was you know, being 21 and having that revelation of
understanding that separation,I really felt like I always
thought I was an old soul and soto understand God's grace and
mercy at such a young age Ithought was pretty profound.
I didn't take that lightly.
That I had that understandingof it just wasn't like a
(05:19):
flippant thing for me, like, oh,I'm just going to just move on
with my life.
And I truly wanted to coursecorrect the definition of
repentance is to make a change.
And so I truly wanted to repentand I truly wanted to make that
change.
And so what that looked like forme was seeking him and trusting
him, because I hadn't trustedhim, even though I knew the
(05:40):
truth, I just hadn't trusted him.
And just the way he embraced mewas not really anything I think
I could describe, but it'sprobably one of the more
profound things that happened inmy early adulthood that really
helped put me on the path, tojust reassure me that God is
real and that he loves me andthat he wants his best for me.
(06:01):
When I seek him first, thingswent well.
They went better for me as Isought him and his best for me
when I seek Him first.
You know, things went well.
They went better for me as Isought Him and His best for my
life.
Gianina (06:11):
I think that's such a powerful testimony of when we
make a mistake or we walk on apath that isn't God's best for
our life.
It's like the quicker that wecan realize that God is for us
and he's not mad at us and he'snot angry, he's on our side and
he still wants that connectionwith us and that repentance.
It's like the sooner we canrealize that, the quicker we get
(06:34):
on the right path and we canjust have this journey with him.
Because a lot of times whathappens is and this happened in
my own life too is where youmake a mistake, and especially
when you know better, when youknow better you were raised
differently and it's like a bigthing in your life.
And then you're like, okay,well, God's mad at me and you
(06:57):
kind of feel the shame and carryit.
It's like the longer that you dothat, the further that you step
away from his purpose in yourlife.
So it's really cool that youwere able to.
The further that you step awayfrom his purpose in your life,
so it's really cool that youwere able to and probably some
of that came from your parents,Grace.
When you saw that, it's like,okay, no, I can repent.
Now.
I can turn around now and givehim the best for my life.
That's such a great testimony.
Carrie (07:19):
Another component of I didn't just immediately enter
into.
There was a time where I wasobviously facing being a mother
and not being married.
Eric and I had met in Augustand I was pregnant in October.
So not only was I facing thereality of becoming a mom and
(07:41):
facing the weight of my sin, Iwas also facing the fact that I
was going to be a mom withsomebody that I really didn't
know at like hardly at all, Imean.
We just immediatelyfast-tracked our relationship in
a way that was not God's best,obviously, and it created this,
it really created this momentfor a few months from Eric, um,
(08:08):
I was just so, um, hurting fromthe magnitude of of what I had
done that I just I couldn't evenface him, like I couldn't even
embrace it.
I was like I okay, I'm going tobecome a mom, I'm young, how am
I going to do this?
And you know, and the weight ofof my sin, and and I and I
pushed him how am I going to dothis?
And the weight of my sin, and Ipushed him away.
(08:28):
I just said I just can't, Ican't face you.
It was like facing myself in adouble mirror.
It made it that much harder.
I had to really process where Iwas at, and it took a few
months for me to get there and Ididn't know how I was going to
go forward.
I didn't know if I was going tomarry him or what was happening
with our lives.
(08:48):
And he pursued me and hepursued me and he pursued me and
then finally, god just said Ijust, I just need you to love me
as much as you love her, and Ineed you to trust me and I need
you to let her go.
And so there was this three,four month period of time where
he did let me go and we weren'ttalking or seeing each other and
I was, honestly, I was just sonot wanting to face him or
(09:12):
because it was just a reminderof where I was.
One morning I got up on a Sundayand I was like, okay, I'm going
to go to church, I need Jesus.
And I went to church and Ericwas there.
He was in the row ahead of meat church.
I didn't know that was going tobe, and it was probably the
second most transformative timein my life where God showed up,
(09:33):
because I was really angry andmad and frustrated and, honestly
, I disdained for him when Iwalked in that church building
because he was a part of it,even though it was obviously a
very willing thing, he was apart of it.
And the reality of where we wereand God just washed a love for
(09:54):
him over me, like through me,and he was like you know, you
aren't loving him right now, butI can love him through you if
you let me love him through you.
And it was the mostsupernatural experience I've
ever had in my life where I justimmediately had this love for
him and I just saw himcompletely differently and I was
(10:16):
just so grateful because thatreally was the way it was
designed to be, when you operateout of God's best and you trust
him for a mate for your lifethat he was like okay, I'm
bringing you that mate Now willyou do it the right way?
Will you trust me and let melove him through you?
You know, and here we are, 33years later, with just an
(10:39):
incredible relationship.
I don't know I'm so grateful forthat the way God showed up in
such a supernatural way.
So it wasn't just my parentsbeing patient and loving and
kind, despite where I was at,but that also, god just had to
show up in a supernatural waybecause I was just in so much
(11:02):
shame and regret and just mad atmyself that he had to you.
When that's your heart, youdon't have a love for other
people, when your heart ishurting so bad from the reality
of the weight of our sin how doyou feel like that has impacted
your guys's marriage and kind ofjust the journey over the last?
Gianina (11:23):
you said 33 years.
Is that how long it's been?
Yeah, 33.
Wow, so like walk me throughsome of your guys's journey as a
married couple and your familylife and what that has looked
like.
Carrie (11:35):
Okay, so, you know, obviously we came up mom at 21
and we have our oldest son,jared, and he's a dad now and
married and, um, that's been anincredible blessing.
And then we had, we ended uphaving our second son, um, 20
months later.
So we were married for twoyears and had two kids 20 months
(11:57):
apart and, you know, justimmersed ourself in our church
community because we knew weneeded God to be able to be
married and to be parents andjust everything that we needed,
you know, had to come from Him.
So it was just completedependence upon Him and just
(12:17):
trusting Him and, honestly, justso much grace and mercy about
he.
You know, we sought Him andthen he, you know, was always
there for us, right, as wecontinue to see him and trust
him for our lives, foreverything.
And then, six years after oursecond son was born, we ended up
God just totally changed ourhearts.
We thought we were done withtwo boys and he completely
(12:41):
changed our hearts for anotherchild and he completely changed
our hearts for another child andwe got pregnant and we ended up
losing that baby, which wassuper hard because it was,
honestly, the first time that wereally tried for a child.
The other two just came withouta plan or an effort, and this
third one we actually Godchanged our heart for it, so it
(13:01):
was different in that regardThen.
To lose that was really hard.
It was such a painful thing, butGod was so faithful, we were so
immersed with having acommunity of people around us.
I was in an inductive women'sBible study at the time, so I
was just surrounded by anincredible group of people who
(13:22):
prayerfully just wrapped theirarms around me and comforted me
and God just met us therebecause it really could have
been one of those times that Ithink could have gone into the
depth of sorrow that God justreally met us there and just
carried us fluidly and, you know, just a few months later,
restored us with our third son,later restored us with our third
(13:49):
son, caleb Joshua, who is 24now.
And I'm just so gratefulbecause as hard as it is to have
the pain of loss of a childlike that and then to have this
other human being in our life,that is such a gift and we're so
grateful.
It's just such a beautifulrecovery that he gives us and to
think that I wouldn't have himif I didn't have that loss right
(14:11):
, which is so powerful to bringperspective, to see it that way.
So yeah, I mean, and here weare.
Kiley (14:21):
Here we are Well, and I think even backtracking even
farther the fact that youlistened to God when he said I
know you can't love him rightnow, but let me love him through
you and because you answeredthat you have such an incredible
testimony of a life that he'sgiven you, and I'm sure that
your son, all of them, are goingto see that and it's going to
(14:42):
show up in their lives as well,Absolutely.
Carrie (14:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah, they're just.
They're all great human beings.
God is so thankful it's.
You know, when you have adultchildren, it's such an
interesting dynamic to relate tothem as adults and the
interactions that we have withthem.
They all live within 10, 15minutes of our home and we're
very involved in their lives andI'm just so grateful for that.
(15:11):
That you know that restorationand that you know that good
family bond that God has givenus and you know, uniting us
under his headship.
I'm just so grateful for that'sreally special.
Gianina (15:20):
It's funny as a boy mom and I know Kylie has a daughter
but I'm like I want to pickyour brain on all the things and
parenting, and especially sinceyou do have adult children now
and mine is still so young.
But I guess, like if I couldask one thing, it's what do you
(15:41):
feel has kind of helped youguide them to the Lord most?
Was it hard for you to let goand trust God when they did
become adults?
I couldn't imagine that feelingof like okay, I hope I did this
right.
I hope I taught you enough andprayed enough.
I think sometimes I almost feellike I have this codependence
(16:04):
of.
I feel so responsible for hissalvation and for his future,
and and so I would love to hearyour perspective on how you deal
with that and like how youhandled that as they were
growing up that's.
Kiley (16:20):
That's also a girl mom thing too.
Carrie (16:21):
So there's a lot of layered response there.
I would say there's a sayingthat says tell everyone you know
about jesus and use as fewwords as possible that's good
you know, living our lives byexample, I think, has been a key
part of their upbringing notjust telling them to love jesus,
but actually showing them byexample what it means to love
(16:44):
like Jesus.
And a few years ago our oldestson and his wife.
We were sitting down for dinnerand he said that Eric and I
have he would consider us likethe MVP of ministry and said
that we have given them the bestexample to follow as far as
what it looks like for a lifesurrendered to Christ and
(17:06):
serving and loving people.
That really restored my faith,because trusting God with my
children has probably been oneof my hardest things.
Like if you had said, carrie,do you trust God?
If you asked me at any point inmy life, I would say, yes, I
trust God, but my children isprobably one of the hardest
things.
I have a deep love for mychildren.
I would say, yes, I trust God,but my children is probably one
of the hardest things.
I have a deep love for mychildren.
(17:26):
I don't want to say it'soutside the norm, but I will say
that I think that if somethingwere to happen to them, I don't
know that I would be able torecover pain-wise, and that's a
conversation that I have hadwith God.
Like I told God, you can haveanything in my life, you can
(17:46):
have access to anything, butplease don't let anything hard
happen for my kids and that's areally hard thing to let go and
trust him.
He loves them more than I do, Ido and who they are.
I can lay my head on the pillowat night knowing that by
(18:07):
example, we gave them theexample of what it looks like to
have a life surrendered to Godand I have to trust that because
they still have to form theirown faith.
My youngest son went to Biblecollege in Australia through
Hillsong and even having aministry degree, you would think
well done, right.
(18:29):
There's still a wrestle therewith who they are and they still
have to form their own faithbecause they're raised in our
faith.
But they still have to come toa place where they own it for
themselves and they make ittheir own and they are living it
out in their own life, notbecause we said so, but because
they actually read God's wordand they believe what it says.
Right, and they act upon itbecause God has moved on their
(18:52):
heart instead of us moving ontheir heart through our own
faith.
Right, you can point them toobviously everything by example
and reading the word to them,but they still have to make it
their own, they still have tobelieve it for themselves.
So that's a funny story on that, just real quick.
When my middle son, who justturned 30 a couple weeks ago, he
(19:15):
went into the military when hewas 19.
And he drove from Nevada so welive on the West Coast he drove
from Nevada to Georgia byhimself to enlist in the army
and a couple of weeks after hewas in the army I see this video
on Facebook that he posts andit's him post recovery.
(19:39):
You know how the when you getyour wisdom teeth out, how silly
people act, because they'restill kind of coming out of
their seizure or whatever.
And so whoever drove him homethought it would be funny to
record the video.
And so then my son decides toput it on Facebook and I open up
Facebook and I see him postrecovery and I immediately
called him and I'm like dude,what?
What are you doing?
(19:59):
He's like what do you mean?
I'm all.
You had oral surgery and youdidn't even tell me.
You didn't like I could haveflown out for the weekend and
like to help you recover.
And he's all mom, I am an adult,this is what to do.
And I and I.
For a second I was like okay,you just drove from Nevada to
Georgia, you enlisted in thearmy and three weeks later
you're having oral surgery byyourself.
(20:21):
Good job, mom.
Right, our job is to get themindependent of us, to think for
themselves, to feel forthemselves, to learn who God is
for themselves.
That's our job and, as hard asit is to embrace that, that
really is our job and ourchildren belong to God anyway.
(20:41):
We're just stewarding them fora time, but ultimately, our job
is to get them independent of usand we're to embrace that and,
to you know, have freedom withthe understanding that they
become adults, and it'simportant that they be adults.
Kiley (20:59):
Yeah, that's so hard.
It's really hard.
I mean, I struggle with thatnow because my daughter's 15.
And I honestly, probably on adaily basis, I wonder if I'm
failing her, because there'sjust lots of emotions and one
second she loves me and theother second she's yelling at me
.
But it's like you think aboutwhen you were a teenager and I
(21:22):
probably did the same thing tomy parents and eventually I did.
I lived at home before you know, up until I got married, and
that was the first time I hadever lived outside of the house.
And now you know we live inanother state.
No-transcript.
Carrie (22:10):
Yeah, and great question to ask yourself is God, do I
trust you?
Because that's really what itcomes down to.
They're His right, and so thelevel of trust that we have and
your job, if you can see it thisway, your job is to get her
independent of you.
Your job, Gianina, is to getyour son independent of you.
That's what parenting is ishelping them gain their
(22:32):
independence, and I mean, thinkback to when you were getting
your driver's license or whenyou were exiting the home to go
to college or whatever.
Your 18 milestone.
Look like they're lookingforward to it too, right?
And so if they see us clingingto them and holding onto them
(22:53):
and not really fully trustingGod with them, they're going to
assume that fear that you have,they're going to assume that
lack of trust that you have, andso you have to show them and
tell them I trust God so muchthat I am fully prepared to get
you independent because,ultimately, you belong to him.
(23:13):
And my job is to get youindependent of me to where your
life is, that you're seeking God, you're trusting him with your
life, life and you're moving onall the adult milestones of what
it looks like to become thatadult too, but they're going to
assume our fear.
If we have that fear, they willassume that that will become
(23:33):
part of their life too.
Gianina (23:36):
That's so good, because I do tend to struggle with fear
, particularly when it comes toKingston, and I've noticed in
his younger years or like, let'sjust use this season as an
example, we're in the middle oftornado season right now, and so
we have like crazy weatherevery other day and I get so
(23:56):
terrified.
And even when Kingston wasyounger, I remember one time we
got stuck on a Ferris wheel at acarnival and they had like
three or four different carnivalattendants that were trying to
get us down because it wasstarting to tip and we ended up
having to jump out of it andsomebody having to catch us.
It was just a nightmare.
(24:17):
But anyways, kingston reallywasn't scared until I started
panicking and then, as soon as Istarted panicking, he's like
terrified.
And so it is such a goodreminder and eye opening to
think about.
If I can't trust God withKingston's life and he sees that
(24:37):
, because our kids do see thosethings when we have those fears,
whether we think they can ornot, and how is he going to
trust God with his life?
I feel like I just had a mindblown that moment.
So this will probably be one ofthose defining things that I
can look back on and really askmyself like, okay, I need to
(24:57):
trust God with his life becauseI want him to be able to trust
God with his life.
Carrie (25:01):
Can I just tell you it is very freeing too, because we
weren't meant to carry thatweight.
But that weight is attached toyou until you let it go and you
gain freedom when you fullytrust God with your kids and
trust his authority over theirlife just as much as you trust
his authority over your life,and they'll see that peace.
And really one of the hardestthings it is is to look in your
(25:25):
adult child's face and see fearand see anxiety and see stress,
because they learned so muchright.
They form their lives based offof a lot of the example that we
give them or they'll do.
They make a vow to never belike us.
So it's two ways it can go.
They'll either bow to be likeyou or they'll bow to be
(25:47):
completely unlike you, andreally what we want them to see
is Jesus in us, and then thatvow right is that they see him
in us, and that's the vow thatthey're making is I want that
peace that my mom has.
Gianina (26:01):
That's good, that's really good.
Well, one of the things that Iwanted to ask you about and this
is from reading your book youtalk about your volunteer work
with Samaritan's Purse and howyou really get to be with people
in the midst of some of thebiggest tragedies, and I would
love just to hear yourperspective of when you see
(26:23):
people go through these things.
I know some people probably dohave that kind of like fear and
doom and just uncertainty ofwhat they're going through, and
others probably do have more ofa peace.
That you talk about is how,regardless of your circumstance,
(26:46):
how not to be a victim and howto really overcome and choose
really like the title of yourbook who you want to be, what
direction you want your life togo, and I can see that so much
just in what you've shared, evenfrom finding out that you were
pregnant, you maybe not rightaway, but you made the decision
of no, this isn't going to be mystory, this is going to be my
story and choosing that.
So I would love for you to justshare a little bit about kind
(27:09):
of your observations, maybe alittle bit about the work that
you've done with Samaritan'sPurse or if there's other things
that you've done with, like thewildfires, what that experience
is like, and some things thatyou've observed, maybe with
different people.
Carrie (27:25):
Yeah, it's so countercultural to like who I am
.
I'm a kind of like a textbookclassic.
You know, cross every, t dot,every.
I introvert.
So like the fact that Irealized that God had given me a
heart for people who werehurting in this capacity was
pretty confusing to me.
I was like I don't even hardlygive people eye contact.
(27:46):
You want me to show up inpeople's lives and talk to them
about the level of pain thatthey're in?
It was just very profound butalso kind of cool at the same
time, because I really saw everystory in the Bible that was the
least suspecting people thatGod used and that's really how
he got glorified was the leastsuspecting people, not these
(28:06):
well-spoken, charismatic,outgoing driven people.
God didn't use them.
He used the least suspecting,the least likely.
So I love that part of thestory for sure, and it's just
been such a growth component forme too to choose like who you
talk about, who you choose to be.
I want to be effective for thekingdom, but I really can't be
(28:26):
that if I keep claiming thisperson who doesn't give eye
contact, who doesn't talk topeople, who is shy, all those
things.
I have to choose that why?
Because what matters to Godmatters to me, in order to be
present for people who arehurting.
And for me that meant operatingoutside of my capacity, and
what that meant was allowing God100% in and authority to use me
(28:52):
as a vessel for his kingdom toshow people what it looks like
to be Jesus.
It's one of the cool thingsabout the Samaritan's Purse
organization is, when you servea family, in whatever capacity
it is, if it's tornado or floodor fire, we, as volunteers, will
meet with the homeowner and wepray for them.
(29:13):
We stand in a circle and wepray for them and we say, hi, my
name's Carrie, I'm from Nevada,and they're like, wow, and I'm
in Florida, right.
And so they're like, wow, youcame all the way from Florida.
And it's like, yeah, that'swhat Jesus does, right.
And one of the disasters thatwe served on was a fire, and one
of the things that didn't burnat this particular person's home
(29:35):
was a Buddhist statue.
And one of the things that wedo for the people is we
distribute them a Bible fromBilly Graham.
That is only a Bible.
It's the type of Bible you canget that only Billy Graham has.
It's broken down.
It's got all of the topics thatpeople typically think about,
where you can look it up bytopic and anxiety, and it'll
(29:58):
reference all the verses thatare and it's a really cool Bible
Anyway.
And so you distribute the Bible.
And so we distributed the Bibleto this one homeowner and he
what?
The Buddhist statue that didn'tburn.
And he goes thank you, he's all.
My daughter will appreciatethis.
She's, she's a person of faithand and the uh, our, our team
leader looks at the Buddhiststatue and then he looks at the
(30:19):
guy and he goes well, where areall your Buddhist friends?
And it was Jesus who ascendedupon this family that you know
had lost everything.
Who we choose to be is Jesus.
To people who are, you know,it's like the least suspecting,
the least likely, and it's justsuch a tangible example.
(30:40):
When you show people I have noreason to be here other than God
moved on my heart to be hereand to think about the magnitude
of how that is for people.
Some people are believers, theyare Christians, and we do get
to love on and serve them, butother people they're not, and we
get to show them very tangiblywhat it's like to love them and
serve them and say I'm sorryyou're hurting and I love you,
(31:03):
because God loves you, and I'mjust here as a representative of
him, to you know.
However, I can provide youpeace or comfort.
That's what we do.
It's a really.
It's one of those things that Iobviously never, ever imagined
in my life.
But there was a book I read byBruce Wilkinson.
It's called the Dream Giver.
(31:24):
It's a really short, small book.
I highly recommend it toanybody and it's written in
what's called an allegory form,and in the book it talks about
the things that God has given usa desire for that we don't
necessarily know at any giventime until you start asking him
what desires have you given mefor my life?
The way you made me for yourkingdom, that I can be fruitful
(31:48):
and show people who you are.
And it was in that book that Iwas able to dialogue.
Actually, we read it as afamily to my husband and my
youngest son.
The other two were out of thehouse by then, but it was so
unique to be able to go.
Oh my gosh, I really felt likeGod had given me a heart to
serve people, love on people whowere navigating natural
disaster.
But it just didn't make senseto me.
(32:10):
I was like how is that evenpossible and then to bring it
full circle and to actually dothat.
It's just been such anincredible blessing.
It really was the precipice forwriting my book, because the
level of satisfaction that Iexperienced, that God had given
me in that process of doing thatparticular act of service was
(32:32):
so unique and unlike anythingelse I had experienced in life
that I wanted other people toknow what it's like.
I mean, because I've been onincredible vacations and had
great life experiences.
But this one hit differently.
It hit a spot in my soul that Inever even knew was like empty
right, and I thought I think itwould be tragic if I knew what
(32:54):
that satisfaction was like andkept that to myself.
And so I told God you've givenme this revelation, not just for
me.
Like you want other people toexperience this revelation to
the satisfaction for me, youwant other people to experience
this revelation too, thissatisfaction that you have on
their lives too.
And that's what birthed thebook and the ongoing process of
helping people understand thatthere's just so much more to
(33:14):
this life that matters that isvery countercultural to our
faith, life that is so profoundat the end of our days, right
when we're standing before Godand he's like what did you do
with the time, with the talent,with the resources I gave you?
This is one of those thingsthat gives me confidence to
stand there and hear well done,good and faithful servant.
Gianina (33:35):
Yeah, that's so good.
And just even realizing, in theBible, Jesus always met a need
before he ministered to peoplein salvation.
It was the feeding of the 5,000or different miracles when he
healed the man at the fountainand told him to get up and walk.
You know, it's like he a lot oftimes.
(33:55):
I think we, we want people towant God with like, well, just
come to church.
Just, you just should want Godbecause you should want God,
which they should.
You know, but even Jesus was sokind and he, he just knew.
If I show people the miraclesand if I meet a need and meet
(34:21):
them where they're at, then Ican show them who I am like,
meet the need first and thenshow who Jesus is through
meeting that need.
And so it's such a goodreminder for us too is what
Jesus did.
He didn't just make Facebookposts and preach on a street
corner or from a pulpit.
He went and met people wherethey were and met their needs
(34:45):
and then introduced them tohimself.
Carrie (34:47):
Yeah, the man at the poolside at Bethesda is one of
my favorite stories because hedoes ask him do you want to be
well?
And I think that's such aprofound question.
I've been going to school tobecome a biblical counselor and
that's one of the firstquestions that we're encouraged
to ask people who are wantingcounseling Do you want to be
(35:09):
well?
Because a lot of people saythey want to be well, but are
they willing to go through thesteps of what it takes to
actually become well?
Right, and he laid there forwhat?
38 years and he wanted to bewell, but he just wasn't, you
know, choosing what it took toto get there.
And I do love God's patienceand his kindness in that story
(35:31):
so much.
Gianina (35:33):
Yeah, definitely.
Kiley (35:35):
So, Carrie, I obviously we know that trusting God isn't
easy.
We know it's something thatwe're supposed to do, but
sometimes in that moment, we geton our own way.
So what have you learned aboutsurrendering control, and how do
you handle moments when thatdoubt tries to creep in?
Carrie (35:52):
So I'm a holistic practitioner by career trait,
and so I like to look at thewhole picture.
I think it's really helped meunderstand a lot of things, like
to understand the end game ofwhere we're going, like what we
call our beam of seat judgment,which is our conversation with
God.
I think about each day as I getup and I'm praying and seeking
(36:13):
God and reading the Word withthe understanding of what the
point is to my life and ourlives as Christ followers.
So I think about thatconversation and I think about
the activity that it takes tohave that kind of fruitful
conversation with God, where Ido hear well done, good and
faithful servant, and so likelooking at the whole picture of
(36:37):
whether it's marriage or healthor family.
I think it's important tounderstand the end game.
Where are we trying to go?
How are we trying to finish andfinish?
Well, because God created us asfinishers, but he also created
us to be fruitful and to glorifyhim.
Right, that's our call is toglorify him in anything that we
(36:57):
walk through in life, our job,whether it is a painful loss of
a child or ushering our childrenoff to adulthood, emptying our
nest, that process of who wechoose to be in that that
glorifies him, whether it'spainful or whether it's a joyful
thing.
We have a choice of how werespond to all of these
(37:20):
challenges that we face in life,and understanding the whole
picture of what it is that we'resupposed to be doing and that
conversation that we're supposedto have, and the fact that
we're to glorify him in theprocess gives us some real,
tangible feet to our day,because we can understand that
we are called to be fruitful,we're called to be servants,
(37:40):
we're called to love God, we'recalled to love others, we're
called to make a difference.
So understanding where we'regoing in this process has been a
key, I think, contributor tohow I choose to walk through
life with that understanding ofa bone of contention with me as
(38:01):
far as Christians and my role inother people's lives who are
Christian, who are believers,who are trying to walk this life
out.
I believe I'm called toencourage them in that process
because I think the disservicethat the church has to the
believer is they don't evenunderstand what the end game is.
(38:22):
There's a whole lot ofsurviving.
Even well-intentionedChristians are surviving instead
of thriving because they don'tunderstand their role in this
world.
I remember sitting on thesidelines to a sporting event
when my kids were younger and myhusband is at one game and I'm
at another game and one kiddoesn't even have a parent at
(38:43):
his game.
I remember sitting there going,god, is this really what this
life is about?
Because this is the culturethat I'm being told and sold
that I'm to have my kids andthese sports and these
activities and doing thesethings Is this really what you
want for my life?
And it was when I started tounravel, good question to ask of
(39:08):
me.
Right, that was God who wassaying good question to ask of
me.
And so I think this is part ofmy mission is to make sure that
people understand that theculture that the world is
telling us and selling us isvery different than what God
said we're created to do.
I try to encourage people inmore of those things that truly
matter for the end of days, likefor all of eternity, for that
(39:29):
conversation that we're going toall have with God one day, and
I want people to hear the samething.
I want to hear which is welldone, good and faithful servant.
So understanding the wholepicture is, I think, a very
powerful component that we canhave.
Kiley (39:43):
I think that there's so many people now that go through
life thinking, okay, there hasto be something different.
We can't just be here to run onthe hamster wheel over and over
again, being rushed from hereto here, and it's like what's
the main purpose in all of this.
So I think having thatperspective definitely changes
(40:05):
things and it makes you moreaware of the things that you are
doing, the things that you arespending your time on, the
things that you're listening to,because, like you said, at the
end of the day, it's aboutbuilding the kingdom and it's
about you doing what God hascalled you to do and bring other
people to.
Gianina (40:23):
Yeah, I don't know if you've read this book, but I
just got done reading the bookHeaven by Randy Alcorn, and one
of the things that I love thathe talks about is when we get to
heaven, we're going to get todo so many of the things that we
long to do on earth, liketravel and play baseball with
(40:45):
our kids, and just there's goingto be time for all eternity to
do these things.
We're going to have the newheavens and the new earth where
and so this is a I don't knowwhat that time's going to look
like when we pass away and we'rein the temporary heaven, but
when we're after theresurrection and we're on the
new earth, there's going to beso much time to do those things
(41:08):
that we crave.
Because I'm one of those peoplewhere I want to travel, I want
to see all the things and do allthe things, and you hear people
that are like, well, you haveto see this before you die, you
only have a limited amount oftime, and it's like, no,
actually, well, we're going toget to do those things for all
eternity, but the only thingthat we can do right now that is
temporary, that we won't get todo then is to bring people into
(41:29):
the kingdom of God and so likehow important that is and that
has just been eye opening for me, because it's like I don't have
to travel the world and see abillion places before I die,
because I'll get to see thoseplaces after.
But now my purpose is how do Iit's like the whole saying make
heaven crowded?
How do I bring as many peoplewith me as I can?
(41:51):
So I really love that and Ithink one question I would love
to ask you, carrie, is whatwould you say to somebody that's
like I don't feel like I have apurpose, or maybe they feel
like their purpose right now.
I had a friend one time thatposted something on Facebook
that was like I'm okay with themediocre life, like what's wrong
(42:12):
with mediocre life, you know,and that's okay as far as being
happy where you're at.
But I think there's so manypeople who don't realize they're
made for more.
It's like they think, well,like that's my pastor's job.
Or Carrie, that's your jobbecause God has called you to
write and do missions, and Kylie, that's your job, you know,
(42:35):
because you're doing thispodcast, and so what would you
say to somebody who doesn'tthink that they have more of a
purpose than where they're atright now.
Carrie (42:43):
So there, as a believer, there is God's known will for
our life, and then there's hisdiscerning will.
So his known will would be tolove him, to love others, to
make disciples.
Right, that is our purpose.
Love God, love others and makedisciples.
That's our job.
So when people say I don't knowmy purpose, my response is love
God, love others, makedisciples.
(43:03):
That's what we're here, that'swhat we're created to do.
And then there's thisdiscerning will which is do I
take this job?
Do I go on that vacation?
Those kind of questions to ask.
So there's the lane of God'sknown will for our life love him
, love others, make disciples.
But then the other lane is,like the things that we don't
even realize, that God put onour heart, necessarily because
(43:27):
we're not asking him, we're nothaving that conversation with
him.
That says you know, when I saidGod, is there more to this life
?
There has to be more to thislife, right?
And or when I read that bookand I realized that God had
given me a desire to go helppeople who are navigating
natural disaster, I think thatis a purpose that I can have,
(43:47):
should have, because God gave methe desire for it.
If he gave me the desire for it, he's made a way for it.
And I think when we're actuallytruly believing in what God's
word says like in Ephesians 3,it says now to him who is able
to do exceedingly abundantlymore than we can think, ask or
imagine.
That's not a mediocre life, inmy opinion.
(44:08):
I think that's the enemy that'skeeping people content in a way
that keeps them small and noteffective for the kingdom.
So I would call that person out.
If they're a believer, I wouldsay no, that's not what God's
word says.
God's word says now to him whois able to do exceedingly
abundantly more than we couldthink, ask or imagine.
So a person who is in thatcontentment of mediocrity isn't
(44:32):
really thinking even in therealm of what God is capable of
doing.
And are they even asking Godwhat do you want to do with my
life?
There's what I want to do withmy life, which a lot of people
are just lazy, right.
But when you're truly likethinking in the heavenly realm
and the kingdom realm and therealm of what God desires to do
(44:52):
through us, we would in ourminds we probably wouldn't have
enough energy for it.
But it's not on our energy,it's not on our capacity, it's
outside of our realm, of ourthinking.
It's more than we can thinkabout.
It's more than we could evenask you, even talk about eternal
life and that time.
There it's really hard to wrapour brain around because we have
(45:16):
finite minds that cannotunderstand the concept of what
eternity of glorifying God wouldlook and feel like, because we
can barely operate at that gloryat this level.
Think about what we can't evenask or imagine.
That's what heaven is going tobe like, and I think it's tragic
.
And I think the more peoplelike yourselves and like myself
who are out there proposingthese questions and asking these
(45:38):
powerful questions and gettingpeople to see there is in fact
so much more to this life andyes, it's fleeting and it's
short and we're not promisedtomorrow, but by golly I want to
get it right.
I want to make sure that wherewe all go is the same and that
we're not in this comfortableplace, but we're in this more
than we could think, ask orimagine space every single day
(46:01):
of our lives.
Gianina (46:02):
Yeah, and so if you have someone that is like, okay,
I know God has called me tomore and I have a passion for
helping people, what do I do now?
So like, for example, with you,you realized, okay, god's given
me a heart for people who aregoing through some really tough
(46:23):
times, how did you kind of gofrom that to volunteering with
Samaritan's Purse or otherorganizations that you
volunteered with?
Like, how, how do you findthose opportunities?
I guess, because I thinksometimes as Christians
especially if we're in ministryin any capacity it's kind of
(46:44):
like you wait for somebody tonotice that you're good at this
thing, or you wait for somebodyto give you an opportunity to do
something that you feel likeGod has called you to do, or you
try to knock down doors thatmaybe you're not ready to open
yet.
So, like, what's kind of thebalance there?
How did you take that step?
Carrie (47:03):
So we have this mechanism at the back of our
brain.
It's called the reticularactivating system and it's very
powerful to have our brainacknowledged because our brain
will look for ways to makethings true.
And that's just kind of ascience-y explanation about how
our brain works, right.
And then there's the thingsthat God has for us.
So when I was writing my bookand I wanted to just steward it
(47:26):
well, I hired a coach, and justa Christian coach, and I said
help me get this in the hands ofas many people as, whatever I
can do, I want to steward thisword well, right.
And one of the things that shehad me do was to write a list of
40 things that, if time andmoney were no object, that I had
a desire to do, that would bemeaningful, meaningful things
(47:48):
like for the kingdom, and like,if you can't get to 40, or even
a 30, you have like a blockedflow.
And God doesn't want you tohave a blocked flow, right, he
wants you in full clarity,because the Bible says where
there is no vision, the peoplewill perish.
He has a vision for us and wehave to ask him what that is.
We have to put it down, pen topaper and it was a very tangible
(48:10):
thing that I could do and gookay.
So, god, you're limitless, so Idon't want to be limited by my
limits.
I want your limitless, so Iwant what's possible with you.
I think that you've given me aheart for X, Y and Z, and I just
kept writing things out andyou'd be amazed how many things
in that, since 2019, that haveactually happened.
(48:31):
That might not have everhappened, because I dialogue
them with God and I said you'rethe provider of money, you're
the provider of money, you'rethe provider of time, you're the
provider of the ability.
You're going to make the wayright.
And so it was powerful to putpen to paper so that my mind
would actually look for ways tomake those things true, because
we do have a role.
(48:52):
We have a tangible role.
Food doesn't fall from the sky.
Right.
Jobs don't occur out of nowhere.
We have a role.
We have to have an active rolein the faith.
That's what faith is.
It's stepping out even when wecan't see it.
It's seemingly impossible, andthat's where God works.
Is the seemingly impossible.
And so it's so powerful todialogue with God and say I
(49:15):
think you've given me a heartfor this.
I might be wrong, I might beright, but if you want to make a
way you're the way maker thenmake a way, and I'm your servant
and I'm your vessel and use mefor your kingdom.
So it's a very powerful thingto ask God what do you want to
do with my life?
And then give me the courageand the boldness to walk this
out.
(49:35):
And it's incredible what hewill actually do when we believe
what his word says he desiresto do in and through us.
Like have the audacity to notjust read God's word but believe
God's word and then believethat he is capable of more than
we could think, ask or imagine.
Gianina (49:54):
Yeah, that's so good.
And even realizing that itdoesn't matter what age you are,
you know, start where you're at.
Like I am getting closer to 40and sometimes I'm like did I
waste my best years?
Did I not do enough?
And it's just encouraging toremember okay, as long as I
(50:16):
still have breath and as long asGod still has me on this earth,
there's a reason.
And whether I'm 38 or 58, if Istill have breath in my lungs,
there's something that I can bedoing and a purpose that I can
be fulfilling.
Carrie (50:29):
So, yeah, and you know what that's a lie from the enemy
by the way, that you'rebelieving that you've missed out
on parts of your life.
Don't live that way.
Don't live in shame or regret.
You're accountable for what youknow.
So what you know now you'reaccountable for.
But the enemy wants to keep youin a place of wishing and
(50:49):
wanting and regret.
And that's not from God, right?
That's not who he is.
That's not his perfect love forus.
That's not who he is.
That's not his perfect love forus.
He gives us the desires of ourhearts and we are to be
attentive to those things thathe's put in our path.
Right?
We're to be stewards of what isin our path and to seek him and
trust him and say, okay, god,what's in my path today?
(51:12):
What disciple can I make today?
Like, just do the next rightthing, not looking at the
rearview mirror.
Lot's wife didn't go well forher when she looked back.
Do not look back and wish orregret that you had done things
differently.
You just keep looking forwardevery day.
The next right thing, god, whatcan I do for you, for your
kingdom?
That's fruitful.
(51:32):
That shows people who you are,that is living by example.
For my kids.
That's being an example forother people who are kingdom
minded.
Just keep me fruitful, keep mefocused, keep me honoring and
loving you.
That's the tip.
Kiley (51:50):
So good.
Gianina (51:50):
Yes, that was definitely really good.
So I would love, if you don'tmind, Carrie, if you would pray
for our listeners today, andspecifically if you could pray
for people who feel like eitherthey don't have a purpose and or
they don't know what thatpurpose is, or somebody who does
have those big, god sizeddesires and dreams but doesn't
(52:14):
see how it's possible.
How is this something that Godcan actually fulfill through my
life?
And so maybe they'rediscouraged in that way.
Carrie (52:24):
So, Father, God, we just love you.
We are so grateful that youhave chosen us and we know that
there's nothing that is lost onyou for how you desire us to
walk out our days.
God, you don't keep secretsfrom us.
You don't keep your plans fromus.
We know that everything thatyou have for us is scripted out
in your word, lord, and we justwe trust you with your word.
(52:47):
We know it's true, we know it'slove, we know it's light to our
path, god, and we know that youhave incredible plans for us to
prosper and not harm, but togive us that hope and that
future.
Lord and Lord, we just praythat you would continue to give
us each a spirit of your love,of your patience, of your
gentleness and of your kindness,with the mindfulness that we
(53:10):
are to be fruitful, each andevery day that we want to stand
before you, god, with aconversation where you are
pleased and you are saying welldone, good and faithful servant.
Lord, would you just show uswhat those things are that you
have for us, those discerningwills that you have over our
lives?
(53:30):
Lord, we know that we are tolove you and that we are to love
others and that we are calledto make disciples.
And beyond that, lord, if thereare lanes of this life that you
have for us as a platform toshow other people who you are,
god, we just pray that you wouldgive us the courage and the
boldness to walk those thingsout and that you would not hide
those plans from us.
That's not from you.
(53:51):
You're not a hider.
You are an exposer.
You show us the things that youhave for us, lord.
So we trust you to show us, toreveal to us those things that
you have for our lives.
And, Lord, we just ask for theboldness and the courage that
it's going to take.
We know it's verycountercultural to what our
world is saying to think andfeel and experience and do, God.
(54:12):
But we want to honor you, wewant to honor the plans that you
have for us and we trust thatyou will show us what those
things are, lord.
And we will be patient, lord.
We will be patient with yourtime and your way of revealing
what those things are.
We're not going to have aspirit of discouragement or
defeat in our time and our way.
If it's next week, if it's nextmonth, if it's next year, Lord,
(54:34):
we know that eventually you willcontinue to show us those
things that you have for us, inyour time and in your way,
according to your will.
Lord, we are just so gratefulthat you've called us, that
you've chosen us, that you'veequipped us and that you've
given us the ability we haveeverything we need, lord, right
here, today and now, to walk outthe plans that you have for us,
and we trust you to do that,lord, and we just thank you for
(54:58):
giving us that spirit of not afear or timidity, but of bold
and sound mind that you've givenus, lord, and we just thank you
for that.
So, God, I'm just trusting andbelieving that every heart and
ear that will receive thismessage from this message on
this podcast, lord, that youwill continue to embolden them
for things that you have fortheir lives, and we love you, we
(55:20):
thank you and we praise you inyour precious and mighty name,
Jesus, amen.
Gianina (55:26):
Amen, amen.
One thing I want to add to thatjust a little bit, as you were
praying, that I was reminded ofis the people that are going to
hear those things from God.
You have to be spending timewith God.
You can't just ignore him andgo about your day and expect him
to tap you on the shoulder andbe like, hey, this is what I
(55:47):
want you to do.
The people that we tell oursecrets to are the people that
we have the closest intimaterelationships with and are close
friends, and so if we want theLord to speak to us in that way,
we have to be a friend of Hisand spend time with Him and have
that intimacy with Him, becausewe're not going to know His
desires if we're not spendingtime with Him.
(56:09):
So I just want to encourageanyone who's listening to you,
like, if you feel like God isn'tspeaking to you or you feel
like you don't know what you'resupposed to do number one, spend
time with Him.
Number two, read your Bible,because that's how we get to
know God, that's His Word, andso those two things, if you want
God to share His heart with you, those are things that we have
(56:33):
to be doing too.
Carrie (56:34):
Absolutely.
Kiley (56:36):
Well, Carrie.
Thank you so much for sharingyour heart and your story with
us today.
It's such a reminder that, evenwhen we don't see it, God
really is in the waiting.
He's in the valleys, and he'sin those moments that we least
expect.
If this episode encouraged you,we would love for you to share
it with a friend who needs tohear this message of hope.
(56:57):
Also, if you could just take aminute to leave a review, it
helps us spread the hope ofJesus even further.
Your support means the world tous, and we can't wait to walk
through more powerful storiestogether.
Until next time, keep walking,keep trusting and know that you
are never alone.
Welcome back to Walk Through the podcast, where we
don't just look back on life'svalleys we walk through them
together, finding God in themiddle of it all.
I'm your host, Gianina, joinedby my co-host, Kiley, and today
we have an incredible guest withus, my dear friend and author
of the book, Who You Choose toBe, Carrie Spratley.
Carrie's story is one ofresilience, faith and victory.
(00:22):
She has faced deep challenges,from miscarriage and autoimmune
struggles to financial loss,emptying the nest and navigating
the heartbreak of having ahomeless adult child.
But through it all, she hasseen God's faithfulness at work.
Today, we'll talk about how Godmeets us in our hardest moments
, what it means to fully trustHim even when circumstances try
(00:44):
to shake our faith, and howCarrie has moved from a season
of valleys into a place ofgratitude and victory.
This is a conversation youwon't want to miss.
So welcome, Carrie.
We're so excited to have you on.
Carrie (00:57):
I'm so excited, honored, to be here with you guys.
Gianina (01:00):
Yeah, this is gonna.
I already know from readingyour book that this is going to
be such a great episode, so I'mreally excited about it.
But I would love for you tojust tell us a little bit about
yourself and your journey withthe Lord, and what that has
looked like.
Carrie (01:13):
Okay, I was raised in a very small town about an hour
from where I live today, whichis where I've lived most of my
adult life.
I became a mom and a wife at avery young age of 21.
I wanted to be a mom for aslong as I could remember.
I was raised in the church andI'm one of those people that
(01:37):
does not ever remember a timewhere I did not have belief in
God.
I truly understood that Ineeded a Savior.
I went to Christian camps andvacation Bible schools and
Sunday school every week.
Any opportunity I had to acceptJesus into my heart.
I just kept saying, yes, I needyou, God.
(02:00):
But it wasn't until I became awife and a mom at such a young
age that my relationship withJesus needed to deepen.
I needed him to help me do allthe things.
So we plugged into our localchurch when I was 23.
And I started to dig in bygoing to Bible studies for women
, become involved with smallgroups and I attended
(02:23):
conferences like Women of Faithand women's retreats through
church.
And then, at age 27, I wentpublic with my faith in baptism
and serving in children'sministries.
And then, as time progressedand I grew in my faith.
My ministries have evolved andhave stepped into more
(02:44):
leadership type roles.
Kiley (02:48):
So, Carrie, can you take us back to one of the hardest
moments and share how you sawGod working through that?
Carrie (02:57):
Yes for me.
So when you're raised to knowthe difference between right and
wrong, raised to know thedifference between right and
wrong, you choose not God's bestfor your life.
There is a lot of cripplingguilt and shame that the enemy
will remind you of, and it wasincredibly painful to face the
reality that I knew God's bestfor me was to be married first
(03:21):
and I didn't make that choiceand that separated me from God.
It separated me from His bestand that was incredibly painful
because I absolutely knew thedifference.
And then I had to face my momand my dad and they were very
gracious and merciful to me inthat time and I'm so grateful
(03:45):
that they embraced me and lovedme and didn't judge me and just
came alongside me and said we'rehere for you.
It was just a really dark timefor, even at such a young age,
to have understood the level ofdepravity of my sin in that
moment but then also understandGod's grace and mercy and to
(04:06):
know that he was still for meand that he was going to
continue to take care of me.
And ultimately it was my lackof trust in Him to trust His
best for my life and His waysbeing best that caused that
chasm between Him and me, and itwas hard.
It was a hard thing to face,but he's so gracious and just
(04:30):
carried me through and justguided me back on the path of
where I needed to be, which Ijust can't imagine not having
that guidance and that love thathe surrounded me with, despite
the fact that I chose outside ofhis best for my life Was that
through how your parents hadreacted to that.
Kiley (04:52):
What was that like for you to experience God in that
time?
Carrie (04:56):
It was you know, being 21 and having that revelation of
understanding that separation,I really felt like I always
thought I was an old soul and soto understand God's grace and
mercy at such a young age Ithought was pretty profound.
I didn't take that lightly.
That I had that understandingof it just wasn't like a
(05:19):
flippant thing for me, like, oh,I'm just going to just move on
with my life.
And I truly wanted to coursecorrect the definition of
repentance is to make a change.
And so I truly wanted to repentand I truly wanted to make that
change.
And so what that looked like forme was seeking him and trusting
him, because I hadn't trustedhim, even though I knew the
(05:40):
truth, I just hadn't trusted him.
And just the way he embraced mewas not really anything I think
I could describe, but it'sprobably one of the more
profound things that happened inmy early adulthood that really
helped put me on the path, tojust reassure me that God is
real and that he loves me andthat he wants his best for me.
(06:01):
When I seek him first, thingswent well.
They went better for me as Isought him and his best for me
when I seek Him first.
You know, things went well.
They went better for me as Isought Him and His best for my
life.
Gianina (06:11):
I think that's such a powerful testimony of when we
make a mistake or we walk on apath that isn't God's best for
our life.
It's like the quicker that wecan realize that God is for us
and he's not mad at us and he'snot angry, he's on our side and
he still wants that connectionwith us and that repentance.
It's like the sooner we canrealize that, the quicker we get
(06:34):
on the right path and we canjust have this journey with him.
Because a lot of times whathappens is and this happened in
my own life too is where youmake a mistake, and especially
when you know better, when youknow better you were raised
differently and it's like a bigthing in your life.
And then you're like, okay,well, God's mad at me and you
(06:57):
kind of feel the shame and carryit.
It's like the longer that you dothat, the further that you step
away from his purpose in yourlife.
So it's really cool that youwere able to.
The further that you step awayfrom his purpose in your life,
so it's really cool that youwere able to and probably some
of that came from your parents,Grace.
When you saw that, it's like,okay, no, I can repent.
Now.
I can turn around now and givehim the best for my life.
That's such a great testimony.
Carrie (07:19):
Another component of I didn't just immediately enter
into.
There was a time where I wasobviously facing being a mother
and not being married.
Eric and I had met in Augustand I was pregnant in October.
So not only was I facing thereality of becoming a mom and
(07:41):
facing the weight of my sin, Iwas also facing the fact that I
was going to be a mom withsomebody that I really didn't
know at like hardly at all, Imean.
We just immediatelyfast-tracked our relationship in
a way that was not God's best,obviously, and it created this,
it really created this momentfor a few months from Eric, um,
(08:08):
I was just so, um, hurting fromthe magnitude of of what I had
done that I just I couldn't evenface him, like I couldn't even
embrace it.
I was like I okay, I'm going tobecome a mom, I'm young, how am
I going to do this?
And you know, and the weight ofof my sin, and and I and I
pushed him how am I going to dothis?
And the weight of my sin, and Ipushed him away.
(08:28):
I just said I just can't, Ican't face you.
It was like facing myself in adouble mirror.
It made it that much harder.
I had to really process where Iwas at, and it took a few
months for me to get there and Ididn't know how I was going to
go forward.
I didn't know if I was going tomarry him or what was happening
with our lives.
(08:48):
And he pursued me and hepursued me and he pursued me and
then finally, god just said Ijust, I just need you to love me
as much as you love her, and Ineed you to trust me and I need
you to let her go.
And so there was this three,four month period of time where
he did let me go and we weren'ttalking or seeing each other and
I was, honestly, I was just sonot wanting to face him or
(09:12):
because it was just a reminderof where I was.
One morning I got up on a Sundayand I was like, okay, I'm going
to go to church, I need Jesus.
And I went to church and Ericwas there.
He was in the row ahead of meat church.
I didn't know that was going tobe, and it was probably the
second most transformative timein my life where God showed up,
(09:33):
because I was really angry andmad and frustrated and, honestly
, I disdained for him when Iwalked in that church building
because he was a part of it,even though it was obviously a
very willing thing, he was apart of it.
And the reality of where we wereand God just washed a love for
(09:54):
him over me, like through me,and he was like you know, you
aren't loving him right now, butI can love him through you if
you let me love him through you.
And it was the mostsupernatural experience I've
ever had in my life where I justimmediately had this love for
him and I just saw himcompletely differently and I was
(10:16):
just so grateful because thatreally was the way it was
designed to be, when you operateout of God's best and you trust
him for a mate for your lifethat he was like okay, I'm
bringing you that mate Now willyou do it the right way?
Will you trust me and let melove him through you?
You know, and here we are, 33years later, with just an
(10:39):
incredible relationship.
I don't know I'm so grateful forthat the way God showed up in
such a supernatural way.
So it wasn't just my parentsbeing patient and loving and
kind, despite where I was at,but that also, god just had to
show up in a supernatural waybecause I was just in so much
(11:02):
shame and regret and just mad atmyself that he had to you.
When that's your heart, youdon't have a love for other
people, when your heart ishurting so bad from the reality
of the weight of our sin how doyou feel like that has impacted
your guys's marriage and kind ofjust the journey over the last?
Gianina (11:23):
you said 33 years.
Is that how long it's been?
Yeah, 33.
Wow, so like walk me throughsome of your guys's journey as a
married couple and your familylife and what that has looked
like.
Carrie (11:35):
Okay, so, you know, obviously we came up mom at 21
and we have our oldest son,jared, and he's a dad now and
married and, um, that's been anincredible blessing.
And then we had, we ended uphaving our second son, um, 20
months later.
So we were married for twoyears and had two kids 20 months
(11:57):
apart and, you know, justimmersed ourself in our church
community because we knew weneeded God to be able to be
married and to be parents andjust everything that we needed,
you know, had to come from Him.
So it was just completedependence upon Him and just
(12:17):
trusting Him and, honestly, justso much grace and mercy about
he.
You know, we sought Him andthen he, you know, was always
there for us, right, as wecontinue to see him and trust
him for our lives, foreverything.
And then, six years after oursecond son was born, we ended up
God just totally changed ourhearts.
We thought we were done withtwo boys and he completely
(12:41):
changed our hearts for anotherchild and he completely changed
our hearts for another child andwe got pregnant and we ended up
losing that baby, which wassuper hard because it was,
honestly, the first time that wereally tried for a child.
The other two just came withouta plan or an effort, and this
third one we actually Godchanged our heart for it, so it
(13:01):
was different in that regardThen.
To lose that was really hard.
It was such a painful thing, butGod was so faithful, we were so
immersed with having acommunity of people around us.
I was in an inductive women'sBible study at the time, so I
was just surrounded by anincredible group of people who
(13:22):
prayerfully just wrapped theirarms around me and comforted me
and God just met us therebecause it really could have
been one of those times that Ithink could have gone into the
depth of sorrow that God justreally met us there and just
carried us fluidly and, you know, just a few months later,
restored us with our third son,later restored us with our third
(13:49):
son, caleb Joshua, who is 24now.
And I'm just so gratefulbecause as hard as it is to have
the pain of loss of a childlike that and then to have this
other human being in our life,that is such a gift and we're so
grateful.
It's just such a beautifulrecovery that he gives us and to
think that I wouldn't have himif I didn't have that loss right
(14:11):
, which is so powerful to bringperspective, to see it that way.
So yeah, I mean, and here weare.
Kiley (14:21):
Here we are Well, and I think even backtracking even
farther the fact that youlistened to God when he said I
know you can't love him rightnow, but let me love him through
you and because you answeredthat you have such an incredible
testimony of a life that he'sgiven you, and I'm sure that
your son, all of them, are goingto see that and it's going to
(14:42):
show up in their lives as well,Absolutely.
Carrie (14:45):
Absolutely.
Yeah, they're just.
They're all great human beings.
God is so thankful it's.
You know, when you have adultchildren, it's such an
interesting dynamic to relate tothem as adults and the
interactions that we have withthem.
They all live within 10, 15minutes of our home and we're
very involved in their lives andI'm just so grateful for that.
(15:11):
That you know that restorationand that you know that good
family bond that God has givenus and you know, uniting us
under his headship.
I'm just so grateful for that'sreally special.
Gianina (15:20):
It's funny as a boy mom and I know Kylie has a daughter
but I'm like I want to pickyour brain on all the things and
parenting, and especially sinceyou do have adult children now
and mine is still so young.
But I guess, like if I couldask one thing, it's what do you
(15:41):
feel has kind of helped youguide them to the Lord most?
Was it hard for you to let goand trust God when they did
become adults?
I couldn't imagine that feelingof like okay, I hope I did this
right.
I hope I taught you enough andprayed enough.
I think sometimes I almost feellike I have this codependence
(16:04):
of.
I feel so responsible for hissalvation and for his future,
and and so I would love to hearyour perspective on how you deal
with that and like how youhandled that as they were
growing up that's.
Kiley (16:20):
That's also a girl mom thing too.
Carrie (16:21):
So there's a lot of layered response there.
I would say there's a sayingthat says tell everyone you know
about jesus and use as fewwords as possible that's good
you know, living our lives byexample, I think, has been a key
part of their upbringing notjust telling them to love jesus,
but actually showing them byexample what it means to love
(16:44):
like Jesus.
And a few years ago our oldestson and his wife.
We were sitting down for dinnerand he said that Eric and I
have he would consider us likethe MVP of ministry and said
that we have given them the bestexample to follow as far as
what it looks like for a lifesurrendered to Christ and
(17:06):
serving and loving people.
That really restored my faith,because trusting God with my
children has probably been oneof my hardest things.
Like if you had said, carrie,do you trust God?
If you asked me at any point inmy life, I would say, yes, I
trust God, but my children isprobably one of the hardest
things.
I have a deep love for mychildren.
I would say, yes, I trust God,but my children is probably one
of the hardest things.
I have a deep love for mychildren.
(17:26):
I don't want to say it'soutside the norm, but I will say
that I think that if somethingwere to happen to them, I don't
know that I would be able torecover pain-wise, and that's a
conversation that I have hadwith God.
Like I told God, you can haveanything in my life, you can
(17:46):
have access to anything, butplease don't let anything hard
happen for my kids and that's areally hard thing to let go and
trust him.
He loves them more than I do, Ido and who they are.
I can lay my head on the pillowat night knowing that by
(18:07):
example, we gave them theexample of what it looks like to
have a life surrendered to Godand I have to trust that because
they still have to form theirown faith.
My youngest son went to Biblecollege in Australia through
Hillsong and even having aministry degree, you would think
well done, right.
(18:29):
There's still a wrestle therewith who they are and they still
have to form their own faithbecause they're raised in our
faith.
But they still have to come toa place where they own it for
themselves and they make ittheir own and they are living it
out in their own life, notbecause we said so, but because
they actually read God's wordand they believe what it says.
Right, and they act upon itbecause God has moved on their
(18:52):
heart instead of us moving ontheir heart through our own
faith.
Right, you can point them toobviously everything by example
and reading the word to them,but they still have to make it
their own, they still have tobelieve it for themselves.
So that's a funny story on that, just real quick.
When my middle son, who justturned 30 a couple weeks ago, he
(19:15):
went into the military when hewas 19.
And he drove from Nevada so welive on the West Coast he drove
from Nevada to Georgia byhimself to enlist in the army
and a couple of weeks after hewas in the army I see this video
on Facebook that he posts andit's him post recovery.
(19:39):
You know how the when you getyour wisdom teeth out, how silly
people act, because they'restill kind of coming out of
their seizure or whatever.
And so whoever drove him homethought it would be funny to
record the video.
And so then my son decides toput it on Facebook and I open up
Facebook and I see him postrecovery and I immediately
called him and I'm like dude,what?
What are you doing?
(19:59):
He's like what do you mean?
I'm all.
You had oral surgery and youdidn't even tell me.
You didn't like I could haveflown out for the weekend and
like to help you recover.
And he's all mom, I am an adult,this is what to do.
And I and I.
For a second I was like okay,you just drove from Nevada to
Georgia, you enlisted in thearmy and three weeks later
you're having oral surgery byyourself.
(20:21):
Good job, mom.
Right, our job is to get themindependent of us, to think for
themselves, to feel forthemselves, to learn who God is
for themselves.
That's our job and, as hard asit is to embrace that, that
really is our job and ourchildren belong to God anyway.
(20:41):
We're just stewarding them fora time, but ultimately, our job
is to get them independent of usand we're to embrace that and,
to you know, have freedom withthe understanding that they
become adults, and it'simportant that they be adults.
Kiley (20:59):
Yeah, that's so hard.
It's really hard.
I mean, I struggle with thatnow because my daughter's 15.
And I honestly, probably on adaily basis, I wonder if I'm
failing her, because there'sjust lots of emotions and one
second she loves me and theother second she's yelling at me
.
But it's like you think aboutwhen you were a teenager and I
(21:22):
probably did the same thing tomy parents and eventually I did.
I lived at home before you know, up until I got married, and
that was the first time I hadever lived outside of the house.
And now you know we live inanother state.
No-transcript.
Carrie (22:10):
Yeah, and great question to ask yourself is God, do I
trust you?
Because that's really what itcomes down to.
They're His right, and so thelevel of trust that we have and
your job, if you can see it thisway, your job is to get her
independent of you.
Your job, Gianina, is to getyour son independent of you.
That's what parenting is ishelping them gain their
(22:32):
independence, and I mean, thinkback to when you were getting
your driver's license or whenyou were exiting the home to go
to college or whatever.
Your 18 milestone.
Look like they're lookingforward to it too, right?
And so if they see us clingingto them and holding onto them
(22:53):
and not really fully trustingGod with them, they're going to
assume that fear that you have,they're going to assume that
lack of trust that you have, andso you have to show them and
tell them I trust God so muchthat I am fully prepared to get
you independent because,ultimately, you belong to him.
(23:13):
And my job is to get youindependent of me to where your
life is, that you're seeking God, you're trusting him with your
life, life and you're moving onall the adult milestones of what
it looks like to become thatadult too, but they're going to
assume our fear.
If we have that fear, they willassume that that will become
(23:33):
part of their life too.
Gianina (23:36):
That's so good, because I do tend to struggle with fear
, particularly when it comes toKingston, and I've noticed in
his younger years or like, let'sjust use this season as an
example, we're in the middle oftornado season right now, and so
we have like crazy weatherevery other day and I get so
(23:56):
terrified.
And even when Kingston wasyounger, I remember one time we
got stuck on a Ferris wheel at acarnival and they had like
three or four different carnivalattendants that were trying to
get us down because it wasstarting to tip and we ended up
having to jump out of it andsomebody having to catch us.
It was just a nightmare.
(24:17):
But anyways, kingston reallywasn't scared until I started
panicking and then, as soon as Istarted panicking, he's like
terrified.
And so it is such a goodreminder and eye opening to
think about.
If I can't trust God withKingston's life and he sees that
(24:37):
, because our kids do see thosethings when we have those fears,
whether we think they can ornot, and how is he going to
trust God with his life?
I feel like I just had a mindblown that moment.
So this will probably be one ofthose defining things that I
can look back on and really askmyself like, okay, I need to
(24:57):
trust God with his life becauseI want him to be able to trust
God with his life.
Carrie (25:01):
Can I just tell you it is very freeing too, because we
weren't meant to carry thatweight.
But that weight is attached toyou until you let it go and you
gain freedom when you fullytrust God with your kids and
trust his authority over theirlife just as much as you trust
his authority over your life,and they'll see that peace.
And really one of the hardestthings it is is to look in your
(25:25):
adult child's face and see fearand see anxiety and see stress,
because they learned so muchright.
They form their lives based offof a lot of the example that we
give them or they'll do.
They make a vow to never belike us.
So it's two ways it can go.
They'll either bow to be likeyou or they'll bow to be
(25:47):
completely unlike you, andreally what we want them to see
is Jesus in us, and then thatvow right is that they see him
in us, and that's the vow thatthey're making is I want that
peace that my mom has.
Gianina (26:01):
That's good, that's really good.
Well, one of the things that Iwanted to ask you about and this
is from reading your book youtalk about your volunteer work
with Samaritan's Purse and howyou really get to be with people
in the midst of some of thebiggest tragedies, and I would
love just to hear yourperspective of when you see
(26:23):
people go through these things.
I know some people probably dohave that kind of like fear and
doom and just uncertainty ofwhat they're going through, and
others probably do have more ofa peace.
That you talk about is how,regardless of your circumstance,
(26:46):
how not to be a victim and howto really overcome and choose
really like the title of yourbook who you want to be, what
direction you want your life togo, and I can see that so much
just in what you've shared, evenfrom finding out that you were
pregnant, you maybe not rightaway, but you made the decision
of no, this isn't going to be mystory, this is going to be my
story and choosing that.
So I would love for you to justshare a little bit about kind
(27:09):
of your observations, maybe alittle bit about the work that
you've done with Samaritan'sPurse or if there's other things
that you've done with, like thewildfires, what that experience
is like, and some things thatyou've observed, maybe with
different people.
Carrie (27:25):
Yeah, it's so countercultural to like who I am
.
I'm a kind of like a textbookclassic.
You know, cross every, t dot,every.
I introvert.
So like the fact that Irealized that God had given me a
heart for people who werehurting in this capacity was
pretty confusing to me.
I was like I don't even hardlygive people eye contact.
(27:46):
You want me to show up inpeople's lives and talk to them
about the level of pain thatthey're in?
It was just very profound butalso kind of cool at the same
time, because I really saw everystory in the Bible that was the
least suspecting people thatGod used and that's really how
he got glorified was the leastsuspecting people, not these
(28:06):
well-spoken, charismatic,outgoing driven people.
God didn't use them.
He used the least suspecting,the least likely.
So I love that part of thestory for sure, and it's just
been such a growth component forme too to choose like who you
talk about, who you choose to be.
I want to be effective for thekingdom, but I really can't be
(28:26):
that if I keep claiming thisperson who doesn't give eye
contact, who doesn't talk topeople, who is shy, all those
things.
I have to choose that why?
Because what matters to Godmatters to me, in order to be
present for people who arehurting.
And for me that meant operatingoutside of my capacity, and
what that meant was allowing God100% in and authority to use me
(28:52):
as a vessel for his kingdom toshow people what it looks like
to be Jesus.
It's one of the cool thingsabout the Samaritan's Purse
organization is, when you servea family, in whatever capacity
it is, if it's tornado or floodor fire, we, as volunteers, will
meet with the homeowner and wepray for them.
(29:13):
We stand in a circle and wepray for them and we say, hi, my
name's Carrie, I'm from Nevada,and they're like, wow, and I'm
in Florida, right.
And so they're like, wow, youcame all the way from Florida.
And it's like, yeah, that'swhat Jesus does, right.
And one of the disasters thatwe served on was a fire, and one
of the things that didn't burnat this particular person's home
(29:35):
was a Buddhist statue.
And one of the things that wedo for the people is we
distribute them a Bible fromBilly Graham.
That is only a Bible.
It's the type of Bible you canget that only Billy Graham has.
It's broken down.
It's got all of the topics thatpeople typically think about,
where you can look it up bytopic and anxiety, and it'll
(29:58):
reference all the verses thatare and it's a really cool Bible
Anyway.
And so you distribute the Bible.
And so we distributed the Bibleto this one homeowner and he
what?
The Buddhist statue that didn'tburn.
And he goes thank you, he's all.
My daughter will appreciatethis.
She's, she's a person of faithand and the uh, our, our team
leader looks at the Buddhiststatue and then he looks at the
(30:19):
guy and he goes well, where areall your Buddhist friends?
And it was Jesus who ascendedupon this family that you know
had lost everything.
Who we choose to be is Jesus.
To people who are, you know,it's like the least suspecting,
the least likely, and it's justsuch a tangible example.
(30:40):
When you show people I have noreason to be here other than God
moved on my heart to be hereand to think about the magnitude
of how that is for people.
Some people are believers, theyare Christians, and we do get
to love on and serve them, butother people they're not, and we
get to show them very tangiblywhat it's like to love them and
serve them and say I'm sorryyou're hurting and I love you,
(31:03):
because God loves you, and I'mjust here as a representative of
him, to you know.
However, I can provide youpeace or comfort.
That's what we do.
It's a really.
It's one of those things that Iobviously never, ever imagined
in my life.
But there was a book I read byBruce Wilkinson.
It's called the Dream Giver.
(31:24):
It's a really short, small book.
I highly recommend it toanybody and it's written in
what's called an allegory form,and in the book it talks about
the things that God has given usa desire for that we don't
necessarily know at any giventime until you start asking him
what desires have you given mefor my life?
The way you made me for yourkingdom, that I can be fruitful
(31:48):
and show people who you are.
And it was in that book that Iwas able to dialogue.
Actually, we read it as afamily to my husband and my
youngest son.
The other two were out of thehouse by then, but it was so
unique to be able to go.
Oh my gosh, I really felt likeGod had given me a heart to
serve people, love on people whowere navigating natural
disaster.
But it just didn't make senseto me.
(32:10):
I was like how is that evenpossible and then to bring it
full circle and to actually dothat.
It's just been such anincredible blessing.
It really was the precipice forwriting my book, because the
level of satisfaction that Iexperienced, that God had given
me in that process of doing thatparticular act of service was
(32:32):
so unique and unlike anythingelse I had experienced in life
that I wanted other people toknow what it's like.
I mean, because I've been onincredible vacations and had
great life experiences.
But this one hit differently.
It hit a spot in my soul that Inever even knew was like empty
right, and I thought I think itwould be tragic if I knew what
(32:54):
that satisfaction was like andkept that to myself.
And so I told God you've givenme this revelation, not just for
me.
Like you want other people toexperience this revelation to
the satisfaction for me, youwant other people to experience
this revelation too, thissatisfaction that you have on
their lives too.
And that's what birthed thebook and the ongoing process of
helping people understand thatthere's just so much more to
(33:14):
this life that matters that isvery countercultural to our
faith, life that is so profoundat the end of our days, right
when we're standing before Godand he's like what did you do
with the time, with the talent,with the resources I gave you?
This is one of those thingsthat gives me confidence to
stand there and hear well done,good and faithful servant.
Gianina (33:35):
Yeah, that's so good.
And just even realizing, in theBible, Jesus always met a need
before he ministered to peoplein salvation.
It was the feeding of the 5,000or different miracles when he
healed the man at the fountainand told him to get up and walk.
You know, it's like he a lot oftimes.
(33:55):
I think we, we want people towant God with like, well, just
come to church.
Just, you just should want Godbecause you should want God,
which they should.
You know, but even Jesus was sokind and he, he just knew.
If I show people the miraclesand if I meet a need and meet
(34:21):
them where they're at, then Ican show them who I am like,
meet the need first and thenshow who Jesus is through
meeting that need.
And so it's such a goodreminder for us too is what
Jesus did.
He didn't just make Facebookposts and preach on a street
corner or from a pulpit.
He went and met people wherethey were and met their needs
(34:45):
and then introduced them tohimself.
Carrie (34:47):
Yeah, the man at the poolside at Bethesda is one of
my favorite stories because hedoes ask him do you want to be
well?
And I think that's such aprofound question.
I've been going to school tobecome a biblical counselor and
that's one of the firstquestions that we're encouraged
to ask people who are wantingcounseling Do you want to be
(35:09):
well?
Because a lot of people saythey want to be well, but are
they willing to go through thesteps of what it takes to
actually become well?
Right, and he laid there forwhat?
38 years and he wanted to bewell, but he just wasn't, you
know, choosing what it took toto get there.
And I do love God's patienceand his kindness in that story
(35:31):
so much.
Gianina (35:33):
Yeah, definitely.
Kiley (35:35):
So, Carrie, I obviously we know that trusting God isn't
easy.
We know it's something thatwe're supposed to do, but
sometimes in that moment, we geton our own way.
So what have you learned aboutsurrendering control, and how do
you handle moments when thatdoubt tries to creep in?
Carrie (35:52):
So I'm a holistic practitioner by career trait,
and so I like to look at thewhole picture.
I think it's really helped meunderstand a lot of things, like
to understand the end game ofwhere we're going, like what we
call our beam of seat judgment,which is our conversation with
God.
I think about each day as I getup and I'm praying and seeking
(36:13):
God and reading the Word withthe understanding of what the
point is to my life and ourlives as Christ followers.
So I think about thatconversation and I think about
the activity that it takes tohave that kind of fruitful
conversation with God, where Ido hear well done, good and
faithful servant, and so likelooking at the whole picture of
(36:37):
whether it's marriage or healthor family.
I think it's important tounderstand the end game.
Where are we trying to go?
How are we trying to finish andfinish?
Well, because God created us asfinishers, but he also created
us to be fruitful and to glorifyhim.
Right, that's our call is toglorify him in anything that we
(36:57):
walk through in life, our job,whether it is a painful loss of
a child or ushering our childrenoff to adulthood, emptying our
nest, that process of who wechoose to be in that that
glorifies him, whether it'spainful or whether it's a joyful
thing.
We have a choice of how werespond to all of these
(37:20):
challenges that we face in life,and understanding the whole
picture of what it is that we'resupposed to be doing and that
conversation that we're supposedto have, and the fact that
we're to glorify him in theprocess gives us some real,
tangible feet to our day,because we can understand that
we are called to be fruitful,we're called to be servants,
(37:40):
we're called to love God, we'recalled to love others, we're
called to make a difference.
So understanding where we'regoing in this process has been a
key, I think, contributor tohow I choose to walk through
life with that understanding ofa bone of contention with me as
(38:01):
far as Christians and my role inother people's lives who are
Christian, who are believers,who are trying to walk this life
out.
I believe I'm called toencourage them in that process
because I think the disservicethat the church has to the
believer is they don't evenunderstand what the end game is.
(38:22):
There's a whole lot ofsurviving.
Even well-intentionedChristians are surviving instead
of thriving because they don'tunderstand their role in this
world.
I remember sitting on thesidelines to a sporting event
when my kids were younger and myhusband is at one game and I'm
at another game and one kiddoesn't even have a parent at
(38:43):
his game.
I remember sitting there going,god, is this really what this
life is about?
Because this is the culturethat I'm being told and sold
that I'm to have my kids andthese sports and these
activities and doing thesethings Is this really what you
want for my life?
And it was when I started tounravel, good question to ask of
(39:08):
me.
Right, that was God who wassaying good question to ask of
me.
And so I think this is part ofmy mission is to make sure that
people understand that theculture that the world is
telling us and selling us isvery different than what God
said we're created to do.
I try to encourage people inmore of those things that truly
matter for the end of days, likefor all of eternity, for that
(39:29):
conversation that we're going toall have with God one day, and
I want people to hear the samething.
I want to hear which is welldone, good and faithful servant.
So understanding the wholepicture is, I think, a very
powerful component that we canhave.
Kiley (39:43):
I think that there's so many people now that go through
life thinking, okay, there hasto be something different.
We can't just be here to run onthe hamster wheel over and over
again, being rushed from hereto here, and it's like what's
the main purpose in all of this.
So I think having thatperspective definitely changes
(40:05):
things and it makes you moreaware of the things that you are
doing, the things that you arespending your time on, the
things that you're listening to,because, like you said, at the
end of the day, it's aboutbuilding the kingdom and it's
about you doing what God hascalled you to do and bring other
people to.
Gianina (40:23):
Yeah, I don't know if you've read this book, but I
just got done reading the bookHeaven by Randy Alcorn, and one
of the things that I love thathe talks about is when we get to
heaven, we're going to get todo so many of the things that we
long to do on earth, liketravel and play baseball with
(40:45):
our kids, and just there's goingto be time for all eternity to
do these things.
We're going to have the newheavens and the new earth where
and so this is a I don't knowwhat that time's going to look
like when we pass away and we'rein the temporary heaven, but
when we're after theresurrection and we're on the
new earth, there's going to beso much time to do those things
(41:08):
that we crave.
Because I'm one of those peoplewhere I want to travel, I want
to see all the things and do allthe things, and you hear people
that are like, well, you haveto see this before you die, you
only have a limited amount oftime, and it's like, no,
actually, well, we're going toget to do those things for all
eternity, but the only thingthat we can do right now that is
temporary, that we won't get todo then is to bring people into
(41:29):
the kingdom of God and so likehow important that is and that
has just been eye opening for me, because it's like I don't have
to travel the world and see abillion places before I die,
because I'll get to see thoseplaces after.
But now my purpose is how do Iit's like the whole saying make
heaven crowded?
How do I bring as many peoplewith me as I can?
(41:51):
So I really love that and Ithink one question I would love
to ask you, carrie, is whatwould you say to somebody that's
like I don't feel like I have apurpose, or maybe they feel
like their purpose right now.
I had a friend one time thatposted something on Facebook
that was like I'm okay with themediocre life, like what's wrong
(42:12):
with mediocre life, you know,and that's okay as far as being
happy where you're at.
But I think there's so manypeople who don't realize they're
made for more.
It's like they think, well,like that's my pastor's job.
Or Carrie, that's your jobbecause God has called you to
write and do missions, and Kylie, that's your job, you know,
(42:35):
because you're doing thispodcast, and so what would you
say to somebody who doesn'tthink that they have more of a
purpose than where they're atright now.
Carrie (42:43):
So there, as a believer, there is God's known will for
our life, and then there's hisdiscerning will.
So his known will would be tolove him, to love others, to
make disciples.
Right, that is our purpose.
Love God, love others and makedisciples.
That's our job.
So when people say I don't knowmy purpose, my response is love
God, love others, makedisciples.
(43:03):
That's what we're here, that'swhat we're created to do.
And then there's thisdiscerning will which is do I
take this job?
Do I go on that vacation?
Those kind of questions to ask.
So there's the lane of God'sknown will for our life love him
, love others, make disciples.
But then the other lane is,like the things that we don't
even realize, that God put onour heart, necessarily because
(43:27):
we're not asking him, we're nothaving that conversation with
him.
That says you know, when I saidGod, is there more to this life
?
There has to be more to thislife, right?
And or when I read that bookand I realized that God had
given me a desire to go helppeople who are navigating
natural disaster, I think thatis a purpose that I can have,
(43:47):
should have, because God gave methe desire for it.
If he gave me the desire for it, he's made a way for it.
And I think when we're actuallytruly believing in what God's
word says like in Ephesians 3,it says now to him who is able
to do exceedingly abundantlymore than we can think, ask or
imagine.
That's not a mediocre life, inmy opinion.
(44:08):
I think that's the enemy that'skeeping people content in a way
that keeps them small and noteffective for the kingdom.
So I would call that person out.
If they're a believer, I wouldsay no, that's not what God's
word says.
God's word says now to him whois able to do exceedingly
abundantly more than we couldthink, ask or imagine.
So a person who is in thatcontentment of mediocrity isn't
(44:32):
really thinking even in therealm of what God is capable of
doing.
And are they even asking Godwhat do you want to do with my
life?
There's what I want to do withmy life, which a lot of people
are just lazy, right.
But when you're truly likethinking in the heavenly realm
and the kingdom realm and therealm of what God desires to do
(44:52):
through us, we would in ourminds we probably wouldn't have
enough energy for it.
But it's not on our energy,it's not on our capacity, it's
outside of our realm, of ourthinking.
It's more than we can thinkabout.
It's more than we could evenask you, even talk about eternal
life and that time.
There it's really hard to wrapour brain around because we have
(45:16):
finite minds that cannotunderstand the concept of what
eternity of glorifying God wouldlook and feel like, because we
can barely operate at that gloryat this level.
Think about what we can't evenask or imagine.
That's what heaven is going tobe like, and I think it's tragic
.
And I think the more peoplelike yourselves and like myself
who are out there proposingthese questions and asking these
(45:38):
powerful questions and gettingpeople to see there is in fact
so much more to this life andyes, it's fleeting and it's
short and we're not promisedtomorrow, but by golly I want to
get it right.
I want to make sure that wherewe all go is the same and that
we're not in this comfortableplace, but we're in this more
than we could think, ask orimagine space every single day
(46:01):
of our lives.
Gianina (46:02):
Yeah, and so if you have someone that is like, okay,
I know God has called me tomore and I have a passion for
helping people, what do I do now?
So like, for example, with you,you realized, okay, god's given
me a heart for people who aregoing through some really tough
(46:23):
times, how did you kind of gofrom that to volunteering with
Samaritan's Purse or otherorganizations that you
volunteered with?
Like, how, how do you findthose opportunities?
I guess, because I thinksometimes as Christians
especially if we're in ministryin any capacity it's kind of
(46:44):
like you wait for somebody tonotice that you're good at this
thing, or you wait for somebodyto give you an opportunity to do
something that you feel likeGod has called you to do, or you
try to knock down doors thatmaybe you're not ready to open
yet.
So, like, what's kind of thebalance there?
How did you take that step?
Carrie (47:03):
So we have this mechanism at the back of our
brain.
It's called the reticularactivating system and it's very
powerful to have our brainacknowledged because our brain
will look for ways to makethings true.
And that's just kind of ascience-y explanation about how
our brain works, right.
And then there's the thingsthat God has for us.
So when I was writing my bookand I wanted to just steward it
(47:26):
well, I hired a coach, and justa Christian coach, and I said
help me get this in the hands ofas many people as, whatever I
can do, I want to steward thisword well, right.
And one of the things that shehad me do was to write a list of
40 things that, if time andmoney were no object, that I had
a desire to do, that would bemeaningful, meaningful things
(47:48):
like for the kingdom, and like,if you can't get to 40, or even
a 30, you have like a blockedflow.
And God doesn't want you tohave a blocked flow, right, he
wants you in full clarity,because the Bible says where
there is no vision, the peoplewill perish.
He has a vision for us and wehave to ask him what that is.
We have to put it down, pen topaper and it was a very tangible
(48:10):
thing that I could do and gookay.
So, god, you're limitless, so Idon't want to be limited by my
limits.
I want your limitless, so Iwant what's possible with you.
I think that you've given me aheart for X, Y and Z, and I just
kept writing things out andyou'd be amazed how many things
in that, since 2019, that haveactually happened.
(48:31):
That might not have everhappened, because I dialogue
them with God and I said you'rethe provider of money, you're
the provider of money, you'rethe provider of time, you're the
provider of the ability.
You're going to make the wayright.
And so it was powerful to putpen to paper so that my mind
would actually look for ways tomake those things true, because
we do have a role.
(48:52):
We have a tangible role.
Food doesn't fall from the sky.
Right.
Jobs don't occur out of nowhere.
We have a role.
We have to have an active rolein the faith.
That's what faith is.
It's stepping out even when wecan't see it.
It's seemingly impossible, andthat's where God works.
Is the seemingly impossible.
And so it's so powerful todialogue with God and say I
(49:15):
think you've given me a heartfor this.
I might be wrong, I might beright, but if you want to make a
way you're the way maker thenmake a way, and I'm your servant
and I'm your vessel and use mefor your kingdom.
So it's a very powerful thingto ask God what do you want to
do with my life?
And then give me the courageand the boldness to walk this
out.
(49:35):
And it's incredible what hewill actually do when we believe
what his word says he desiresto do in and through us.
Like have the audacity to notjust read God's word but believe
God's word and then believethat he is capable of more than
we could think, ask or imagine.
Gianina (49:54):
Yeah, that's so good.
And even realizing that itdoesn't matter what age you are,
you know, start where you're at.
Like I am getting closer to 40and sometimes I'm like did I
waste my best years?
Did I not do enough?
And it's just encouraging toremember okay, as long as I
(50:16):
still have breath and as long asGod still has me on this earth,
there's a reason.
And whether I'm 38 or 58, if Istill have breath in my lungs,
there's something that I can bedoing and a purpose that I can
be fulfilling.
Carrie (50:29):
So, yeah, and you know what that's a lie from the enemy
by the way, that you'rebelieving that you've missed out
on parts of your life.
Don't live that way.
Don't live in shame or regret.
You're accountable for what youknow.
So what you know now you'reaccountable for.
But the enemy wants to keep youin a place of wishing and
(50:49):
wanting and regret.
And that's not from God, right?
That's not who he is.
That's not his perfect love forus.
That's not who he is.
That's not his perfect love forus.
He gives us the desires of ourhearts and we are to be
attentive to those things thathe's put in our path.
Right?
We're to be stewards of what isin our path and to seek him and
trust him and say, okay, god,what's in my path today?
(51:12):
What disciple can I make today?
Like, just do the next rightthing, not looking at the
rearview mirror.
Lot's wife didn't go well forher when she looked back.
Do not look back and wish orregret that you had done things
differently.
You just keep looking forwardevery day.
The next right thing, god, whatcan I do for you, for your
kingdom?
That's fruitful.
(51:32):
That shows people who you are,that is living by example.
For my kids.
That's being an example forother people who are kingdom
minded.
Just keep me fruitful, keep mefocused, keep me honoring and
loving you.
That's the tip.
Kiley (51:50):
So good.
Gianina (51:50):
Yes, that was definitely really good.
So I would love, if you don'tmind, Carrie, if you would pray
for our listeners today, andspecifically if you could pray
for people who feel like eitherthey don't have a purpose and or
they don't know what thatpurpose is, or somebody who does
have those big, god sizeddesires and dreams but doesn't
(52:14):
see how it's possible.
How is this something that Godcan actually fulfill through my
life?
And so maybe they'rediscouraged in that way.
Carrie (52:24):
So, Father, God, we just love you.
We are so grateful that youhave chosen us and we know that
there's nothing that is lost onyou for how you desire us to
walk out our days.
God, you don't keep secretsfrom us.
You don't keep your plans fromus.
We know that everything thatyou have for us is scripted out
in your word, lord, and we justwe trust you with your word.
(52:47):
We know it's true, we know it'slove, we know it's light to our
path, god, and we know that youhave incredible plans for us to
prosper and not harm, but togive us that hope and that
future.
Lord and Lord, we just praythat you would continue to give
us each a spirit of your love,of your patience, of your
gentleness and of your kindness,with the mindfulness that we
(53:10):
are to be fruitful, each andevery day that we want to stand
before you, god, with aconversation where you are
pleased and you are saying welldone, good and faithful servant.
Lord, would you just show uswhat those things are that you
have for us, those discerningwills that you have over our
lives?
(53:30):
Lord, we know that we are tolove you and that we are to love
others and that we are calledto make disciples.
And beyond that, lord, if thereare lanes of this life that you
have for us as a platform toshow other people who you are,
god, we just pray that you wouldgive us the courage and the
boldness to walk those thingsout and that you would not hide
those plans from us.
That's not from you.
(53:51):
You're not a hider.
You are an exposer.
You show us the things that youhave for us, lord.
So we trust you to show us, toreveal to us those things that
you have for our lives.
And, Lord, we just ask for theboldness and the courage that
it's going to take.
We know it's verycountercultural to what our
world is saying to think andfeel and experience and do, God.
(54:12):
But we want to honor you, wewant to honor the plans that you
have for us and we trust thatyou will show us what those
things are, lord.
And we will be patient, lord.
We will be patient with yourtime and your way of revealing
what those things are.
We're not going to have aspirit of discouragement or
defeat in our time and our way.
If it's next week, if it's nextmonth, if it's next year, Lord,
(54:34):
we know that eventually you willcontinue to show us those
things that you have for us, inyour time and in your way,
according to your will.
Lord, we are just so gratefulthat you've called us, that
you've chosen us, that you'veequipped us and that you've
given us the ability we haveeverything we need, lord, right
here, today and now, to walk outthe plans that you have for us,
and we trust you to do that,lord, and we just thank you for
(54:58):
giving us that spirit of not afear or timidity, but of bold
and sound mind that you've givenus, lord, and we just thank you
for that.
So, God, I'm just trusting andbelieving that every heart and
ear that will receive thismessage from this message on
this podcast, lord, that youwill continue to embolden them
for things that you have fortheir lives, and we love you, we
(55:20):
thank you and we praise you inyour precious and mighty name,
Jesus, amen.
Gianina (55:26):
Amen, amen.
One thing I want to add to thatjust a little bit, as you were
praying, that I was reminded ofis the people that are going to
hear those things from God.
You have to be spending timewith God.
You can't just ignore him andgo about your day and expect him
to tap you on the shoulder andbe like, hey, this is what I
(55:47):
want you to do.
The people that we tell oursecrets to are the people that
we have the closest intimaterelationships with and are close
friends, and so if we want theLord to speak to us in that way,
we have to be a friend of Hisand spend time with Him and have
that intimacy with Him, becausewe're not going to know His
desires if we're not spendingtime with Him.
(56:09):
So I just want to encourageanyone who's listening to you,
like, if you feel like God isn'tspeaking to you or you feel
like you don't know what you'resupposed to do number one, spend
time with Him.
Number two, read your Bible,because that's how we get to
know God, that's His Word, andso those two things, if you want
God to share His heart with you, those are things that we have
(56:33):
to be doing too.
Carrie (56:34):
Absolutely.
Kiley (56:36):
Well, Carrie.
Thank you so much for sharingyour heart and your story with
us today.
It's such a reminder that, evenwhen we don't see it, God
really is in the waiting.
He's in the valleys, and he'sin those moments that we least
expect.
If this episode encouraged you,we would love for you to share
it with a friend who needs tohear this message of hope.
(56:57):
Also, if you could just take aminute to leave a review, it
helps us spread the hope ofJesus even further.
Your support means the world tous, and we can't wait to walk
through more powerful storiestogether.
Until next time, keep walking,keep trusting and know that you
are never alone.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!