Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
more control over,
you know, the kids' upbringing.
And I feel like we havedelegated more and more to the
schools and in the beginning wedelegated math and reading to
the schools, and then we startedhaving them teach the kids more
and more stuff and before youknew it, you know they eat
breakfast and lunch at school.
We've delegated two out ofthree of the meals up there and
(00:20):
then they're there for longerand longer.
The school year lasts longer.
Then all of a sudden we'redelegating sex ed to the schools
.
We're delegating teaching themusic to the schools.
We're delegating all theexercise to the schools.
We've completely cut ourselvesout of the equation in raising
our children and I want to be inthe control of that.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We are two full-time
working parents who just made a
crazy decision.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
After four years in
public school, we're
homeschooling our three kids anddocumenting the whole thing.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Never in a million
years did we think that we would
be homeschool people.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Welcome.
This is the well, I didn't seethat coming podcast.
I'm Slate and school's in thekitchen.
Now.
I'm Scotty.
We say start.
When I say so, I'm Sailor, andthis whole podcast was my idea.
This podcast is our real-timejourney, unexpectedly juggling
(01:22):
homeschool jobs, parenting andeverything in between.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Follow along each
week as we document how it's
going and share the good, thebad and the ugly, because we
know some days are going to beugly and we're not holding back.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
We're learning to
expect the unexpected.
So let's get into it, let's go.
So let's get into it, let's go.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
We are leaving public
school after four years and it
feels good to say that out loud.
Finally.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
It feels good to hear
it.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It's just like
something that has been going on
in the background for a reallylong time, and for the longest
time we didn't tell anyone, andwe can go for the reasons why we
didn't.
And we're finally here.
School's about to start backfor everybody and we are
homeschooling and it feels goodto just be committed.
The decision's been made, allof the things have been done in
the background and we are doingit.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
It's also scary.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
It's really scary.
I'm both scared and also reallyexcited and obviously we're
both super, super optimisticabout this, because who isn't?
When you're making a newdecision, you're just like
pumped about it and of coursepeople see the flaws in your
plan and I'm sure we've receiveda lot of that from our family
(02:48):
and friends.
But we're pumped.
But also I am very scared andnervous about this first year
and you know we don't even knowwhat's next.
But this first year we'recommitted to it.
Like we have a plan, we're soexcited, but who knows?
And that's kind of what thiswhole podcast is about.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
But you know, it's
like with anything that you're
scared of.
You know I used to be amusician and you the fear builds
and builds until you get closerto the day of the performance.
But then the day of it startsto wane, and by the time at
least for me, by the time I stepon stage right before I start
singing to wane, and by the time, at least for me, by the time I
step on stage right before Istart singing the fear is gone
(03:30):
and I feel like I'm hitting.
We're definitely on thedownslope for me because we have
a plan, we're so close toputting this into action, and so
I feel so much of the feargoing away because I know what
it's going to look like, or atleast have an idea of what it's
going to look like.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, I feel that
right now, in this moment, I
feel relieved, like we've madethe we've made the decision that
works best for our family andwe're just moving forward with
it.
But I think, and the wholereason for this podcast episode
right now, is that people keepasking us why, why are you
homeschooling?
And it's so hard to answer thatquestion, especially if you're
(04:06):
just chatting with someone likein just like a minute or two.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
they just want to
know why but it'll get way
easier now, because justrandomly handing a person your
podcast card is super normal andnot rude at all, like why did
y'all decide to homeschool?
And you just like smile at themand hand them a card and walk
away.
Is that is that the plan?
No, that is not the plan.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Well, but also, I
mean, I completely understand
that this is not normal, butwhen big things like this happen
, I do have to like think howI'm gonna tell people on my
social media and how I'm gonnacome across across and things
like that, how I'm going toshare this information and kind
(04:48):
of.
What started that too, was justtelling people in real life.
I just don't know what toanswer because it's not one
little reason, it's a million.
And to answer your question,I'm not going to print out
podcast cards and tell people inreal life, but I am going to
obviously link this episodebecause I feel like if people
are interested in why we'rehomeschooling, this is what they
(05:10):
need to hear.
You know, I can't answer it ineven a paragraph, I can't just
answer it when we're justchatting.
I would need like a wholecoffee date to sit down and talk
to you.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
So that's what this
is.
It is, yeah, it's good andyou're right, it's not.
We do need a longer form toanswer the question because then
we probably won't even coverevery single reason on this
podcast, but maybe, at leasthopefully, the major ones on
this episode.
But it is.
It's like that show.
It was kind of depressing, buta million little things.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Yeah, I did like the
idea, though, that everyone's
always like if I'd just donethis, that guy wouldn't have you
know whatever.
But it wasn't one thing, it wasa million little things, and
that's exactly what I've beentelling people.
I just say it's just a millionreasons, it's not one big reason
.
I think people we've told sofar are assuming that maybe
something happened at school orthere's one specific reason
that's driving this, and it'snot so most of the teachers we
had were award-winning teachers.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Literally, they
handed out awards for the whole
county out of I don't knowdozens of schools, and the one
classroom teacher that we had,like several years in a row,
kept winning best in the wholecounty for elementary schools,
and so it wasn't that.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Absolutely.
It was nothing to do with theteachers.
There was no big event thathappened and it caused us to get
really mad and like decide tohomeschool.
So that's what this episode isgoing to be about.
We're going to go back a couplemonths probably like it's been
about 18 months and talk aboutwhat happened and what led to
(06:44):
this decision and all of themillion reasons why, because
there's just there's just notone.
I mean, last summer is when westarted talking about this.
For me and we both hadcompletely different like views
on this at first.
I don't know if it was lastsummer, when you did, probably
the beginning of the summer, butI was very overwhelmed with
(07:06):
school and this year it reallyhaving three kids in elementary
like just kind of did me in, andwhat I mean by that is just so
much chaos from getting them upin the mornings, fighting with
people to get up and make surewe're not late and get dressed
and make sure they have theirspelling words done and their
(07:27):
backpacks and their snacks andtheir lunch packs and there's
money in their lunch account andtheir library books.
You know how it is.
It's just it was getting.
It was really getting to me towhere when summer started sorry,
when summer ended last year Ijust felt I had a lot of anxiety
about starting back schoolbecause I really enjoyed summer
(07:50):
for once like I just enjoyedsince the kids were little.
They had their first summerwhere they were all home, they
weren't in school, and I reallyenjoyed that and I didn't want
them to go back to school.
Because school equals crazinessin our lives and I know that
people say it gets better asthey get older and you're not
(08:12):
always asked for like a millionthings from the teachers and
from the school and there's notlike a million things like book
fair and dress-up days.
I get it, but with three youngkids I was just completely,
really just unhappy during theyear.
I didn't find all of thosedress up days and all of the
(08:32):
craziness fun.
I mean, maybe there's somethingwrong with me, but I didn't.
I found it exhausting andoverwhelming.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
No offense If you're
one of those that really loves
building a foil hat for JohnnyAppleseed Day for your kid.
You know that.
I mean, hey, if you like thatyou go for it.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
I think.
I just think we're living in atime where most moms and dads
all parents do have to work.
Maybe it's not a full time job,but there's so much on your
plate not a full-time job, butthere's so much on your plate
and so you add the job in thereand all the normal home stuff
that we're trying to both juggleand figure out who does what,
and then we'll talk about this alot, I know, in this podcast
(09:14):
kids sports.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh yeah, and that's
the thing is that you know, some
people are doing sports in thesummer, but we really don't.
So another thing I mean sportsand school start back at the
same time, and then that's itOur lives are over.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And I just felt like,
yeah, it was.
It was to the point where itwas not enjoyable at all and I
just felt like we had no familytime whatsoever.
And our daughter actually saidto us which really got to me
because she was right but shesaid the only time you're
talking to us in the morningsyou're yelling at, said the only
time you're talking to us inthe mornings you're yelling at
(09:47):
us.
And at night you're yelling atus telling us, okay, you know,
in the morning, hurry, hurry,hurry, get your shoes on, let's
go, let's go.
We're going to be late, I guess, stressing her out, telling her
like did you get this, did youdo this?
And then our, our nextinteraction is after school,
where half the time, somebody ormore than half the time most
days somebody has something todo and we're like okay, get your
(10:09):
snack, come on, get get yourvolleyball shoes on.
Did you get this?
Did you get that?
And then when we get home, it'slike hurry and eat.
You guys got it, you got toread and you got to do your
smelly spelling test.
And you like there's so manythings to do and oh, you need to
to shower.
You haven't showered in acouple of days.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Like, and then hurry
up and get ready for bed because
if we don't get in bed by thistime, then you're not going to
get enough sleep, because youneed this much sleep.
But we have to get up at 6 30or we won't make it to school on
time the next day.
Yes, yeah, it's, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
She was right,
absolutely right, and I hated
that.
I just I didn't really knowwhat the solution to that
problem was, and I had said onetime before probably well before
that to you that it would be sonice to homeschool in like an
ideal situation, if I didn'thave a full-time job and things
were different.
(10:54):
I would want to homeschool thekids and you thought that was a
horrible idea.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Well, yeah, at the
time I mean but.
But just to follow up on whatyou said about you know sailor
saying that to you, and one timeslate told me he said why are
you always rushing me?
Every day, all day?
You just rush me and I do.
I was rushing, I was like, butwe're always in a hurry.
I don't like that either.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
They're absolutely
right, and I was just stressed
every morning, trying to makesure we're not late and just
just rushing through everysingle day, and I just kind of
got to a point where I was like,is this what we're gonna do
until they leave?
Because people are always likeimagine what their schedule is
like when they're in high schooland I just didn't like it at
(11:39):
all and I didn't know what to doabout it and here's the thing
if we thought our kids were likewe would have struggled through
it until they graduated highschool, we really would have.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
I mean, we sacrificed
for our kids we're not lazy
parents by any means but theywere not happy with it and so
that was the biggest problem islike, why are we killing
ourselves and we're not happy tomake our kids unhappy?
Also?
Speaker 2 (12:02):
It doesn't make sense
.
They weren't happy, I mean, andI think it's important to know
that they, before going intoschool and going to public
school, they were in daycare, sothey're not unfamiliar with the
routine and getting up andhaving a teacher and they, they
all three do well in school.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
Well, they liked
daycare.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Daycare was a party
every day they did they
absolutely loved daycare, butI'm just saying that they
weren't like going intokindergarten with no experience
and then all of a sudden beingunhappy with it.
The first year that our oldestthis was the first year she
hated school and that was asurprise to us, but also to
(12:46):
everyone else, because she'slike the social butterfly and
she was begging to behomeschooled this entire year
and I don't.
She didn't really say exactlywhy at first.
She has since said things thatI think she heard us say, so I
don't know if it's what sheactually thought, because I
(13:09):
asked her I'm like, well, why doyou want to homeschool?
And she just was unhappy atschool and I think it's because
she has ADHD and she has a lotof energy and this year was
third grade and they really cutdown on their like activity and
so they were at their desks alot and she started really
(13:31):
hating it I do think that's ityeah yeah, I always wondered if
that would happen, but I kind ofthought it wouldn't.
because she's always lovedschool like she cries every year
whenever they have to endschool, and because she loves
her teacher, she loves herfriends, we usually have to
escort her out the buildingbawling.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yeah, and it is
interesting because I mean she
is.
She wasn't struggling at schoolat all.
She made straight A's.
She ended up finishingelementary with straight A's.
Every year she was number oneaccelerated reader.
She's good at sports, she'spopular.
There was no reason other thanI think she's just miserable
sitting at her desk for eighthours every day.
Other than what like a 25minute PE or something.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Yeah, they.
They had previously had tworecesses and PE, but as you, as
they get older and they had totake the star test this year, um
, they, they just don't do that.
I think a lot of times theywere trying to check it off the
list since they're supposed togo outside, and they would just
(14:36):
go outside for like five, 10minutes and be like, okay, come
on.
We got to get back in and getto it and she absolutely hated
that.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
And that's not their
fault.
That's coming from the top.
Like they have to cover thismuch material, and the amount
that they're supposed to coveris not realistic in the
timeframe that they haveavailable to them.
Unless nobody ever gets sick,nobody ever acts bad in class,
and every single kid grasps theconcepts the first time that
they're taught.
I mean literally.
(15:03):
There's no other way to do it,and so they're trying to find
extra time to meet thesestandards wherever they can.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Yeah, it's just
pressure on the teachers.
It has nothing to do with themand everything to do with what
they have to do in a day andwhat they have to make happen
before the kids take those tests.
I think that's what it wascoming from from her.
So when all this startedhappening, I wanted to do
something different.
I kind of felt like once shesaid something I was like, oh,
(15:34):
you know, maybe we can make achange, maybe we can do
something different.
That would feel better foreverybody.
We started looking at just likewhat are other options we could
do, and I found like a couplepeople that were doing like a
hybrid option where kids go toschool a couple of days a week
and then they homeschool part ofthe time, but the school gives
(15:55):
you like your work.
So I mean, it is homeschool,but you're not doing a lot of,
you're not doing the curriculum.
So I I was like, oh, that's,that's a really good option.
We looked at just a bunch ofdifferent things and then Sailor
actually was like I don't evenwant to do that.
She wanted to homeschool really, really badly.
And we have two other kids,we're not just talking about our
(16:17):
oldest, so we have Sailor whois going to be going into fourth
grade, slate who's going intosecond grade, andate who's going
into second grade and ouryoungest who's going into first
grade.
After Sailor kind of told usabout being very unhappy at
school, then Slate also startedreally struggling at school, and
for a completely differentreason.
(16:38):
If you have kids, you know kidsare.
They're so different and Ithink as a parent, when you're a
new parent, you think like, oh,this is how I'm going to do it
and you don't really realize howdifferent your kids are, how
different they need to beparented.
And then now realizing thatthey all learn differently and
need different things at schooland everything, and maybe that
(17:01):
your idea of one size fits alllike they're all going to go to
this little school that wepicked out and we moved here for
this school it's notnecessarily going to work and he
is our middle is just extremely, extremely gifted and he's very
smart.
He is not super, super social.
He's like the sweetest, kindestguy in the whole world.
(17:23):
I love him to death, but he iskind of a loner, a little bit
weird, likes different thingsthan other people, which I feel
like makes him awesome.
But he was just hating going toschool every day the first
semester he cried a lot in themornings don't make me go to
school, and that just breaksyour heart as a parent.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Now our youngest,
scotty.
She is the only one that, Iguess, has mixed feelings about
it.
The older two are dead set thatthey want to be homeschooled.
They don't ever want to go backto school.
She has her days, I mean, whereshe's she agrees with her
siblings and she.
Then she has other days whereshe thinks she's going to miss
her friends and, um, you know,so I don't know.
(18:07):
There there's a little bit of amixture there.
It's not a hundred percentperfect, like every kid's
thrilled about it, but she's notagainst it really, and I know
that once she was the only onegoing she would not want to go.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
No, and I mean that's
just not something we're going
to do right now.
We're just going to all trythis.
We're not taking one child toschool and the other two.
But Sailor is just telling herit's because you're in
kindergarten, you'll hate itwhen you get to another grade,
and you know she might be right.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
I mean, kindergarten
sounds great to me right now,
but fourth grade doesn't soundthat fun at all.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
Kindergarten is so
fun.
She had the best kindergartenyear, but she's also hearing
from her brother and her sisterabout all about how awesome
homeschooling will be, and so,yeah, she's a little bit mixed
on that.
So two two out of three arejust like super, super pumped to
homeschool and I think that,especially telling our families
and things like that, they justassumed that like we were
(19:04):
forcing the kids to homeschool,but actually this was definitely
kid driven and something thatthey wanted to do, and then we
had to just kind of workbackwards and figure out how
we're going to actually make ithappen.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
And some of the
things that you know led us here
weren't even things that weexperienced firsthand, which
sounds weird, but some of thethings were things that we knew
are coming up, things thatwhatever is happening in
elementary, a lot of the thingsthat we have problems with with
public school, get worse in thenext grades and up into junior
high and high school and it justkeeps, you know, escalating,
(19:38):
and so there's a lot of issuesthere, too, that we do not want
to have to deal with.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
We were unhappy with
a lot of things in the school
system beyond just being so muchwork, for I feel like me with
like the apps and notificationsall day, every day, and all the
events and everything.
Some of the things that we wereconcerned about were coming up,
like the phone issue.
We were very concerned withwhat middle school would look
(20:04):
like, because some of the middleschool moms you know had
mentioned how all of the kidswere like on their phones all
day, especially at lunch.
They had mentioned that thekids weren't sitting and talking
, they were just like looking attheir phones all day at lunch.
And our kids aren't going tohave phones.
They don't have phones andthey're not going to have phones
until they can drive and atthat point they'll still just be
(20:26):
a simple phone.
It won't be like anything withsocial media or anything like
that.
So I kind of had a lot of feararound that, but I had no idea
that.
You know, just now they passedthat law that they can't take
phones to school.
So I think that that's going tobe amazing.
I'm so glad they did that, butI had a lot of fear on that
because I didn't want our kidsto be left out in that way
(20:47):
because I know how isolated youcan feel in middle school and
high school if you're differentin some way.
But I feel so strongly aboutthem not having access to that
stuff to like ruin their brainand their self-confidence and
stuff, but then also being leftout of school.
It's just, it's hard, you know.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
Yeah, up until we
realized we wanted to do this,
we thought we were stuck withtwo choices Either we cave and
we do give them phones, which weweren't going to do, or we just
accept that, yeah, we're goingto send them every day and, you
know, 90% of the kids are goingto be talking on their phones,
texting each other, probablytalking about them on their
(21:28):
phones.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
They're right there.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
And they won't have,
they won't be able to
participate.
And I've seen that, I've seenit at restaurants.
You know, you see all these,you know middle school girls
come in and they're sittingthere, and there's the one
without the phone and you justshe seems like so left out.
But the people with the phonesare depressed too, so you can't
really win.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
No, you can't, and I
had a lot of fear.
I'm a person that is veryproactive.
I don't know why I'm like this,but I plan more ahead, I think,
than most people do, and Icould just see the writing on
the wall and it was scaring mebecause our oldest, she was
going to intermediate and soonwe would blink and she'll be in
(22:07):
junior high, so the phone thingwas definitely bothering me.
Um, her, some of her friendsalready have phones and I just
know it was going to be a bigissue.
Um, so I love that they madethat change.
But there are other things withthe school that I feel like
just went completely against our, our values at home, so the
phone being one of them.
Really bad food at school, Idon't know how else to put that.
(22:30):
But one of the things that'sreally important to us is that
we feed our kids good food, andwe've been doing that since they
were babies and it's reallyimportant to us.
It's not really important tothe school.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
No, and it's not
really just what's in the
cafeteria, because you can sendyour kids lunch.
Speaker 2 (22:47):
I mean that's and we
do most of the time not always
the best food like.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
maybe like that we
would feed them at home, but
we're usually okay with, youknow, that kind of stuff.
It's the fact that, on top ofthat, almost every day is either
a holiday or a pep rally or akid's birthday in their class or
something, where they'regetting loads and loads of red
dye and sugar.
I mean, that's what they'regiving them is just as much as
(23:12):
they can have.
Here's some red juice, here'ssome red cupcakes and here's
some red candy for every singleoccasion, and there ended up
being like two or three timesper week that there was a reason
that they needed to have all ofthat crap.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Or more.
I mean, that's how most of therewards were given, in the form
of candy or snacks or drinks.
So our kids would come homeevery single day with things
that we don't allow them to have, which is kind of frustrating.
You know, like I, I want to bein control of what my kids can
and can't have, and it was likeevery day we would feed them
like a nutritious breakfast, andthen they would go in and they
(23:48):
would have donuts for everybody,and then it would be someone's
birthday, so then they wouldalso have cupcakes, and then
Taylor would win like somePlinko prize, and then she would
get like.
They would be like do you wanta soda?
And we don't allow sodas, andso it just felt like we couldn't
win there.
You know, and we're all aboutbalance, we let our kids have
those things right, but we feltlike we didn't have any control
(24:11):
left, because they're there mostof the time.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
And not to sound
selfish, but I would love to be
able to say yes sometimes to youknow, can you have some candy?
But I felt like I never could.
I felt like I have to becomethe dad of no, because everybody
else is saying yes all the timeand so I'm like, okay, if I let
them have this at home, thenit's all day, Then, like three
times a day, they're loading upwith sugar and it's going to
(24:34):
they're all going to havediabetes.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, there's.
There's just no balance.
I mean, that's what we'retrying to teach our kids right
Balance, and there's none.
So that was that's obviously abig one to us.
I could go on and on about that, but I won't.
And then another we kind oftalked about is just the
activity level.
Kids need a ton of activity ina day and they're just not
(24:57):
getting it at school.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
And this isn't an
exercise thing.
Our kids are in sports and theyplay at home.
They're getting plenty ofexercise.
It's not about that.
It's about that you can't havea kid sit there for that long
and expect them to be okay withit.
I can't even do it.
I get up from my desk way morethan they're even allowed to get
up from their desk.
So if I was in school, I'd begetting sent to the principal
(25:19):
for how often I get up.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Especially when you
have a kid that's got ADHD and
needs to be up and down a lot.
We don't medicate her right now, and we never have, but in
order to stick to that, we dohave to limit things like red
dye and a lot of sugar and wehave to be a really active
family, because when we do that,she's wonderful, but when we
(25:43):
don't, she's not.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Cause she is on the
line.
I know there's some kids thatavoiding sugar and red dye and
getting exercise isn't enoughand and they're not on the line
where they can not be medicated.
And we're not againstmedication is what I'm saying.
I mean she, she is, she's right, she's on the line where she
can sit there and get A's and dowhat is expected of a kid that
doesn't have ADHD, but it'smiserable for her.
(26:07):
That's the problem.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
She's extremely
unhappy and all of these things
that we're talking about when Iwas thinking about it, and
sending them every single dayfor hours a day.
I'm sending them to a placethat literally goes against all
of my, my big values.
Right, I want my kids to eatwell, I want my kids to get
outside and have a good likebalance in their lives, my kids
(26:34):
to get outside and have a goodlike balance in their lives, and
it's like none of those thingsare being done at school and
that's their life and trainingthem for being adults is.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
you know, schools
were set up to train kids to
work in factories to not thekids to work in factories, but
train them to become adults thatwork in factories.
They were set up on eight hourschedules like factory work, but
that's not the world we live in.
That's not the kind of job Ireally want for my kids.
I don't have anything againstfactory workers.
It's just not where I think anyof my kids are heading.
It just doesn't make sense.
(27:01):
It doesn't train them for thekind of adult that I want them
to be.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Well, and it only
gets worse.
I've talked to middle schoolparents and the kids.
They don't have recess, theydon't go outside, so it's just a
very long day sitting in a desk, and that simply wasn't working
for our daughter with ADHD.
There was not one thing,obviously, that caused all of
(27:25):
this, but we did experience somebullying and things like that,
which is just par for the course.
I understand that's going tohappen, but it sucks when it
happens to your kid Really,really sucks.
All of our kids experience someof it, but I think what bothered
me the most was some of thethings that our young kids were
(27:47):
telling us at school, and it wasusually a result of kids that
were exposed to things that theyshouldn't be exposed to either
from older siblings or from well, sometimes bad parents, or from
youtube, because their parentsdon't get on youtube and they
learn stuff they didn't need tolearn yeah, my daughter kept
telling me stories she was inkindergarten that her friend
(28:08):
told her, and every day herfriend would tell her about what
he saw on youtube, and so oneof the stories was that this mom
and dad were beating theirchild over the head with a
hammer because he didn't cleanhis room, and every day she was
telling me different storiesthat her friend was telling her,
and wondered why our room wasso clean that week.
(28:30):
It is not funny, oh, okay.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
What about the one
that told one of our kids that
their favorite show was Dexter?
And I don't mean Dexter's Lab,I mean Dexter the serial killer.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Also kindergarten.
Long story short.
Things are changing, and Ithink kids are being exposed to
things that they shouldn't.
It is a lot different than itwas when we were in school,
don't you agree?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Some of the things,
and then some of the things that
are not different were bad backthen and they're bad now.
I mean, we have some of thattoo.
That was one of the things thatI'm concerned about is we did
have a kid that tested into GTand it works the exact same way
it did when I was a kid.
They once a week or once everyother week or something like
(29:18):
that, the GT teacher pulls youout and you do these special
extracurricular activities.
And I'm not trying to knock it,they're trying to do something,
but that's not what you need.
The gifted children need to bein a different classroom for all
of their work, and then thekids that need more catch up
need to be in a differentclassroom for all of their work,
and then the kids that needmore catch up need to be in a
different class for all of theirwork, and then all the average
kids need to be in classroomstogether, because then no one is
(29:39):
getting left behind, no one is.
Parents would freak out, I know, because then they're like I
don't want my kid to be in thedumb class, but that's not what
it is.
It's the kids that just needmore help and they could catch
up and maybe move up intoanother class, but they're
getting ignored because theteachers have to teach the kids
in the middle, and so the kidsat the top are the kids at the
bottom.
A lot of times I feel like theyget left behind.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah, absolutely it's
.
It's not set up for a kid thatlike we have a kid that's really
ahead and gifted.
It's just not.
And I think sometimes that'sfine.
They'll go through and gothrough the motions every year
and be fine.
But ours hated school.
I mean, he loves learning, heloves math, he loves reading and
(30:23):
it was getting to the pointwhere he hated school and I did
not want him to hate learning.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
And it's just because
he was bored.
Nothing happened, nothing.
He didn't have, you know, likea mean teacher or anything like
that.
I mean he did get some bullyingfrom other kids, but I think
that was part of it, but mostlyI think it was just because he
was bored.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Yeah, and, and I
hated that all of a sudden, like
he was excited about school andthen over the course of the
year he just ended up hating it.
He was counting down the days.
He kept asking us to homeschoolhim early and it just turned
into a battle every day.
So did you ever think that youwould homeschool your kids?
Speaker 1 (31:02):
No, I used to tell
people all the time that, oh man
, I am, you know, educated, butI'm not a good teacher, and
that's a separate skill set thatI don't have, because I tutored
some in college and I was notgood at it.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
This might sound
really dumb, since we're
homeschooling, but I don't thinkI don't think either one of us
are great teachers.
I don't.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
Okay.
The thing is there's programs,there's a lot of options,
there's different things thatyou can do, so whenever, I think
, most concepts will explain itand they'll understand, and
whenever that doesn't happen,there's more in-depth videos on
that they can watch, or there'sthings that they can read from
the program that we're going tobe using, and if that's not
(31:42):
working, there's plenty of otherprograms to choose from too.
So, I mean, I think that wewill find a way.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
Absolutely.
We, we good team.
When things come up, we justget through it and we're going
to figure it out.
I know we can figure this out.
We never thought we would behere.
I think that that is somethingthat shocked even us.
So we never, ever thought wewould homeschool.
We actually moved here becauseof the schools.
(32:11):
We wanted our kids to go to asmall school and we actually
loved their school.
There's nothing wrong with theschool, I think, just the school
system.
We love their teachers, weloved the community, everything
about it.
It's just, and in my head Iimagined them all graduating
from this high school and itstill kind of makes me a little
(32:37):
bit sad to think that they'renot going to, because you have
something in your head as aparent and that's how you think
it's going to go, and we allknow that it doesn't always go
according to plan.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
I know, I'm like, can
we still just go to football
games there and play sports withthem and walk the stage with
them when they graduate?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
but then do all their
schooling at home.
I mean, I know it's it's it'shard.
That part of it is very, veryhard.
We had this.
We were just like so committedto this school and these people
and these friends and this justcommunity of people, and there
are so many things I love aboutthat that it's hard to just kind
of start over, and that's whatI feel like.
But this wasn't the plan.
But this wasn't the plan, butwe're doing it anyway.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
I think you're
struggling with that part more
than me, because you loved highschool Like you want to go back
and relive high school, butthat's just not the way it is
anymore.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
I know it's like in
my head, I know this is what's
best for them.
I know I it's like in my head,I know this is what's best for
them.
But before, when I made thisdecision, I made it because I
wanted them to have theexperience I had, and I realized
that that doesn't exist anymore.
It's it's not the same at all,but it was so fun.
I love that experience.
(33:47):
I loved school and that's what I, like, imagined that they would
be, and I had a lot of cousinsaround me and my like I was in
high school with my sister and Iloved it and that's exactly
what they would be getting.
They would be going to a smallschool, they could play sports
if they wanted to, they would bewith their cousins and I
(34:08):
imagine like we would have asenior, a sophomore and a
freshman, right, yeah, I justlike I imagine that over and
over again and that's just notthe case anymore and I think
that is hard to like settle with.
I mean, I'm there now, it'sjust it's been a while, but that
was hard for me.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, and there's
other things that are hard for
me about it, but you know, alleverything's changed so much too
.
I mean, more people are getting, you know, I'm not saying that
they're going to go to collegeon sports scholarships, but I'm
just saying if you, even if youare super into sports when we
were kids, that meant playing inhigh school for a good high
school and moving even sometimesto a better high school to play
for a better high school teamIf you wanted to get looked at
by colleges.
But you know, more kids aregetting picked up from select
(34:53):
basketball leagues and selectvolleyball teams for, you know,
college scholarships and stuffthan anything.
So that's not to say thatthat's going to be what our kids
do, it's just that saying.
It's saying that there areplenty of sports options out
there, even if you're not in thepublic school, and so I mean
there's a lot of things you cando, things are different.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
now, that really
wasn't my like.
I don't care if they playsports, it was more for just
like the experience.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
Right, or you know
going, just going to the
football games, or, or being apart of I was in music.
But you know, being a part ofthat group and having those kind
of built-in friends and andknow there's some cool stuff
with that, but yeah, we're notgonna have part of a community
is.
Speaker 2 (35:35):
It's awesome, you
know that a small town feel
small town, friday night,football games, all of that.
I loved it and that's what Ichose for our kids.
It just, you know, that was myplan, but this is a different
plan, so that was a thing thatwe definitely had to get over.
Even though we listed all ofthose reasons why school just
(35:56):
wasn't working for us, it stillwas hard to make that decision.
And then I think the nexthardest part for me was telling
everyone yeah, that was toughand it still is tough, I feel
like you don't care what peoplelike.
I care more about what peoplethink or what they say, and I
feel like you don't.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
I don't care what
people think about me, but I do
care what they think that Ithink about them.
If that's not too confusing, I,in other words, I feel like,
okay, if you start, if you stopeating dairy, people start.
The first thing they think isoh, he thinks I'm crappy Cause I
don't eat dairy, or because Ido eat dairy or whatever.
(36:33):
I mean, if you don't let yourkids have screen time or
whatever, then if they let theirkids have screen time, they
immediately feel judged and like, oh, he must think I'm crappy
because I do.
And no, that's just what we'redoing.
It's just what we think isworks for us.
It's not necessarily what's bestfor anyone else's kid, and so I
didn't want anyone to thinkthat, oh, you like public school
(36:55):
, You're stupid.
No, I mean cause for a lot ofkids it is the perfect situation
.
I mean it's it's free, it'slike built in daycare, because
you have parents that workoutside of the home usually, and
for your kids that fall in theright spots on the bell curve,
it's usually set up just right.
So for a lot of kids it's great.
Speaker 2 (37:14):
For the longest time.
It was the only option.
For us too, and a lot offamilies, it is the only option.
We're not coming from a placeof judgment, but that was not
the reason why it was hard forme to tell people.
For me, it was the judgmentfrom other people and we've had
a fair share of that.
No one has taken it very well.
(37:35):
I won't say no one.
A few people have, but we'vemostly been met with.
Well, what if you change yourmind?
What will you do?
Or what are you going to doabout prom?
Well, they'll probably bebehind.
Or how are they going to havefriends and we haven't really
been met with?
Oh, that's great guys.
It's been a, it's been a lot ofnegativity and I knew that was
(37:58):
going to happen, so I wasprepared for it.
But it still stings, it stillhurts.
Speaker 1 (38:03):
Yeah, I mean, and we
had thought about all that stuff
.
So we know that none of thatstuff is a concern.
And you know, I was luckyenough to, when Slate was doing
Ninja, almost all the parents inthere were like homeschool
parents for some reason.
I don't know how it worked outthat way, but so I got to talk
to them a lot and actually allof their kids were ahead.
Most of their kids that were 15were already in college, and so
(38:26):
, yeah, I wasn't really worriedabout them getting behind or the
socializing Everyone bringsthat up.
I'm not really worried aboutthat, because are they really
socializing at school?
Anyway, I mean, we'll, we'll,we'll talk about that more later
, but yeah, so I don't, I don'tcare if anyone thinks I'm dumb
for doing it, as long as theydon't think that I think they're
dumb for not doing it, cause Idon't, I don't think that at all
.
Speaker 2 (38:46):
We have in the past,
and every day, every year, we do
things that most people don't,and I feel like people think
we're weird sometimes because wedon't really do what everyone
else is doing, and this is justadds one more tick to our, to
our weirdness but we've beendealing with that since way
(39:08):
before we decided to homeschool.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
We do a lot of things
differently than other people
and people think we're weird,but it works for us.
Speaker 2 (39:14):
I know it does work
and we're still going to do it,
but it gets.
It gets to me Like I don't liketo be the weirdo you know I
don't and I definitely don'twant to put that on my kids and
them feel weird.
I, right now they, they don'tsee homeschooling as a bad thing
like we did.
I feel like when we were kidsit was kind of a negative word,
(39:35):
like it just wasn't as commonand it is now and they actually
know a lot of homeschool kidsand they play sports with them
and so to them it's like they'renot embarrassed by it.
But some of the responses we'regetting that you know it's,
it's obvious what they thinkthat our kids will be weird.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
Yeah, I mean there's
less of a stigma than there was
maybe when we were kids, butthere's still a stigma, a big
one.
Like they think that I mean, Ieven saw.
We just watched the show theother day and I laughed, cause I
don't get offended by stuff,but this girl had the ugliest
dress on and her friend goes ohmy God, you look like you're
homeschooled, and we just wejust laughed, and that's
(40:16):
everyone's perspective.
I think the world's changing.
I think in another 10 or 20years, that whenever it becomes
more normalized and people seeyou out in the wild working your
job and they're like oh, you'rehomeschooled and you don't seem
weird, then I think people willfinally start to come around.
Speaker 2 (40:33):
But that does lead me
to say that this we we don't
even know if this is permanent.
We're just, we're just, wethink this is going to be a
better fit for our family andwe're trying it out Like and
we've been telling people thatwe're not like married to it.
You know, we were married topublic school and look what
happened.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
Didn't work out.
Yeah, I mean, we're not thatstubborn.
I am stubborn, but we're notthat stubborn.
If we get to the end of aschool year and it's like yo
crap, they're dumber than theywere when we started.
We're terrible teachers.
We were right.
We'll send them back, for sure.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
So right now.
We're just thinking about thisyear and what's working for our
family right now or or maybe ourkids will get so tired of us.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
They'll be like
please send us back to school,
and then maybe we will.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (41:17):
Maybe.
I know there will be a lot oftogetherness, so that'll be
interesting.
What is our plan for workingand all of that?
And that has been somethingthat we have been working on.
It wasn't overnight.
We had to adjust our work andwe had to adjust our work
schedule and our business to beable to even try homeschooling.
Speaker 1 (41:37):
We're still working,
but we're figuring out how
that's going to work.
Speaker 2 (41:41):
We own a CPA firm, if
you don't know, and we made
some changes this tax seasonwith the way our processes
worked so that we are mostlyworking remotely with all of our
clients.
Now we were already like a bigpercentage of our clients are in
different states and differentcities, so you know we email,
(42:01):
call, do everything with ourcomputer, not as much in-person
stuff anymore.
But we had to kind of let go ofthat in-person stuff, the
lingering stuff.
So we tested that out this pasttax season, just in preparation
of all of these changes, and itworked, it went well, and so
(42:22):
now it will be possible for usto work, both working full time
and homeschooling the kids.
It's possible.
We don't know how.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
you know how it's
going to go, but we did have to
make a lot of changes in our ourwork to but if you're
interested in homeschooling andif you're listening to this
podcast, you probably alreadyknow this is one of the things
almost everybody knows abouthomeschool.
But the kids are probably doingtwo hours a day, or maybe three
, but they're not doing eighthours of school.
(42:51):
So if anyone's wondering, howare you possibly going to run a
business and then also be afull-time teacher but you're not
I mean two hours and some ofthat you know they'll even be
working on their own or readingstuff on their own.
And go back and add up theamount of time that they spend
on math, reading history andscience at school and you'll see
(43:13):
that they're only spendingabout two hours at school as
well.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
That was one thing I
was actually surprised when we
started doing our initialresearch was that a lot of
people are homeschooling andworking full-time.
I thought you either had tohave one person dedicated to it
or, I guess, some sort of likepart-time job or something to
make it work.
But there are a lot of peoplehomeschooling right now with
(43:36):
full-time jobs.
Now they have to be flexiblewith it, but I've even seen
people that are working fulltime and then they just do
schooling like Friday, saturday,sunday, and so they do have to
do, you know, more than the twohours, but you know it's working
for them.
So I was surprised.
I thought we were oh, look at us, we're trying to do something
(43:56):
that's never been done and thatwas not the case, but we are
going to have a whole episode.
We haven't recorded that oneyet, but all about our schedule,
um, how we're going to do it,just to give anybody ideas of
how you could do it and workfull-time flexibility we're
really looking forward to.
We love to travel and so wedon't know what the next few
(44:20):
years hold for us, but we knowthis year we are going to get to
travel with the kids whileother people are in school,
which is really nice, just havemore family time and, yes, it's
going to be hard not getting asmany breaks from the kids, but I
am looking forward to likehaving this year with them.
Every year year that passes by,I'm just like amazed at how
(44:41):
fast it goes by, and with ouroldest turning 11 on her next
birthday, I just feel like it'stoo fast now.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:49):
I couldn't get it to
go fast enough earlier and now I
like it makes me sad, like that.
She's so old.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Right, and when I
mean when we first started
talking about it, I was like man, we're going to be around the
kids a lot.
But you're right, it'sdifferent, because all the time
we were around them it's alwayslike rushing them to get
something done, which makes themmad at us and makes us mad
because they're not hurrying andwe're always running late and
we're always just angry at eachother.
But when everything calms down,it's like when we're in the
(45:22):
summer and everything's chill,it's just it's better, I mean
they're.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
It's just more fun to
be around them.
I think they like us better too, so it wasn't quality time that
we were spending with them.
That's the problem.
Speaker 1 (45:27):
So we were their
wardens, not their.
We were just bouncing around.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
We know it's not
going to all go according to
plan.
We know that we have all ofthese high hopes for what is to
come and we're going to have ourgood days and our bad days,
just like when the kids are inschool.
Speaker 1 (45:43):
But we'll be here to
tell you all the things we do
wrong.
So if you ever decide to godown this road, then you won't
have the same things.
You'll find your own things todo wrong instead.
Speaker 2 (45:52):
This episode was
really just supposed to be about
what led us to homeschooling.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
And we better make
the other ones shorter, and no
one will listen to them yeah,probably not probably lost, like
a lot of people already.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
I don't know.
I just felt like I wanted toshare everything.
I didn't just want to be like.
This is the reason wehomeschooled, and it just be I.
Just every time I answer thatquestion with someone, I just
felt like I want to say more,like I want to explain myself.
I'm not crazy.
I want you to know all thethings.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I still feel like
there's things I didn't say.
I feel like I've said morereasons why it's not than
reasons why we are, but I just Idon't want anyone from where
we're leaving from to think thatI don't know like that we don't
like them or something we'renot leaving on bad terms of the
school.
Speaker 2 (46:36):
I, every single time
I had to tell someone at the
school I got emotional becausethe teachers were sad and the
kids, the kids are sad, theirfriends are sad and I was just
like are we making really likeour kids?
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Yeah, they really
like our kids.
Speaker 2 (46:48):
Our kids are good
kids.
They did well in school andtheir teachers love them and so
it was so hard telling them, butthey made me feel so much
better actually, because everyteacher that I had a
conversation with made me feelso much better.
Actually, because every teacherthat I had a conversation with,
when I just kind of told themwhat was on my heart about it
and that I'm looking forward tolike having the time with the
kids, even if it doesn't, evenif we don't homeschool forever,
(47:11):
like I'm looking forward tohaving them right now, they said
do it.
Do that because of coursethey're all moms like they want
their kids back, like they wantthat time back, and they would
have done the same thing.
Speaker 1 (47:22):
So that's the
craziest part is, yeah, we we
actually had the least negativereactions from teachers.
That's funny, huh.
I don't think that any of themare experiencing what, in their
heads, they hoped teaching wasgoing to be like they're just
they're.
They're doing the best thatanybody could possibly do in a
situation that they're put injust they're.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
They're doing the
best anybody could possibly do
in a situation that they're putin.
So it's not any of thosereasons.
Of course you've listed amillion.
We love everybody, we love theprincipal, all the things, but
why homeschool?
I have a whole list writtendown here to just wrap it up.
More time with the kids.
You know we're avoiding thephone battles at school, which
that isn't even a thing rightnow.
I hope that lasts.
(48:06):
More time for the kids to dothings that they like to do.
We're going to start teachingthem Spanish.
We're going to do some pianolessons, things that we just
didn't have time to do becausethey're at school all day.
We get to travel more.
We get to do what's right forour gifted kid and we get to do
what's right for our ADHD kidand we can kind of tailor
everything to what they need,not just like the school system.
We can have slower mornings.
(48:27):
I literally live for weekendmornings with them, so to be
able to let everybody wake upslowly is like top on my list
and closer relationships withthem.
I feel like as they get olderthey grow closer to their
friends.
So I'm glad that we have extratime with them to grow our
relationships with them andtheir relationships with each
(48:49):
other, and lots more outsidetime.
We're starting our day gettingoutside, so I think that's going
to be a huge improvement forour oldest and we can really
focus on healthy eating.
They're going to get in thekitchen with us.
We're going to be able to makelunches at home.
No more packing lunches andwashing those things like.
We can really focus on thehealthy eating.
And no standardized tests.
(49:10):
They absolutely hate them.
We hate that.
It stresses them out so much.
So that's a plus for me,feeling like I'm just fighting a
daily fight every day to getthrough all the school stuff.
I'm looking forward to nothaving that and the bullying.
And then, obviously, whatpeople don't want to say is I
hate that we all have to live infear of school shootings right
(49:30):
now, and that is definitely onthe pro list for me is I don't
have to worry about the kids atschool and there be a school
shooting.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
And and for me it's
it's a general thing that has a
lot of specific items attachedto it.
That's being in more controlover, you know, the kid's
upbringing.
And I feel like we havedelegated more and more to the
schools and in the beginning wedelegated math and reading to
the schools, and then we startedhaving them teach the kids more
(49:59):
and more stuff and before youknew it, you know they eat
breakfast and lunch at school.
We've delegated two out ofthree of the meals up there and
then they're there for longerand longer.
The school year lasts longer.
Then all of a sudden, we'redelegating sex ed to the schools
.
We're delegating teaching themusic to the schools.
We're delegating all theexercise to the schools.
We've completely cut ourselvesout of the equation in raising
(50:20):
our children and I want to be inthe control of that.
Speaker 2 (50:24):
No, I agree, I want
to be involved in those things.
I know it's not going to goaccording to plan.
Maybe we've said that too much,because I feel like there's a
lot of people doubting us.
This episode was really justgoing to be about what led us
here, and I know it was kind oflong and chaotic chaotic but I
do feel like we were able to sayour piece.
We have a lot more episodescoming your way.
(50:46):
This all, the whole reason thispodcast exists and you're
listening is because ourdaughter had an idea to start a
homeschool podcast and she wantsto learn how to edit and she
they're going to be on thepodcast with us.
We listen to a family podcast,so I'm sure that's where her
idea came from.
The episodes coming willdefinitely.
This will be our start andyou'll get to see the messy
(51:09):
middle.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
And if you're looking
for instructional things and
stuff like that, there will beplenty of that as well
Instructions on what we're doing, how we're doing it, the actual
specifics, because there's nota lot of podcasts out there
talking about that.
I mean, there's plenty ofpeople that talk about why they
want to homeschool and that'swhat this episode was about but
there's not very many that arelike this is exactly what we do,
(51:31):
this is the program we use,this is how we, this is our
schedule.
You know how fast we're goingto go through the curriculum.
I mean all of these things, allthe nitty gritty details.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
We have listened to a
lot of homeschool podcasts and
this is not going to be like anyof those.
We are going to tell you howit's going, what's working,
what's not working.
If we switch curriculums, wewill let you know what we don't
like about one, what we do Ifour kids start struggling with
homeschooling because a millionreasons.
We will share that on thispodcast.
(52:00):
This is just our real lifejourney of homeschooling this
first year, so we're going toshare the good, the bad and the
ugly.
Next episode we're going totalk more about our schedule and
trying to figure that out,because that has been hard.
When you want to do a millionthings with your kids and you
only have a few hours in the day, it's becoming a little harder
(52:21):
to schedule that and a full-timejob and workout and you know
all the things.
Speaker 1 (52:27):
There's not enough
day left at the end of the
schedule.
Speaker 2 (52:29):
No, so we're getting
a little overzealous on the
schedule, but we will share thaton the next episode for sure.
Speaker 1 (52:37):
This was a long one.
They won't all be this long,but we hope you tune into the
next one and learn everythingyou can about this process.
Speaker 2 (52:44):
So that's a wrap for
our very first episode of well,
this wasn't the plan.
Podcast.
Speaker 1 (52:49):
We did it.
Speaker 2 (52:50):
We did it and it
wasn't the plan, so perfect.
Speaker 1 (52:54):
No, it was definitely
not the plan.
Speaker 2 (52:57):
It was not the plan,
all right, see you next time.
Not the plan.
It was not the plan, all right,see you next time.
Bye, bye, okay, here's the deal.
We just dropped our first threeepisodes.
If you laughed, nodded along oryelled same at any point,
please do us a favor leave areview or hit the subscribe
(53:17):
follow button or share it with afriend bonus points if you do
all three.
It really helps more than youknow, especially when we're just
getting started.
So let's get this littlepodcast out into the world.