September 26, 2025 • 33 mins
Breaking generational curses isn’t easy — but it’s necessary. In this episode, we talk about the cycles we’ve seen in our families and how we’re learning to set boundaries, heal, and build something different for the next generation. From addiction to procrastination to family secrets, nothing’s off the table.
We also honor the good our parents and grandparents did and remind ourselves that breaking curses doesn’t mean forgetting their wins. It means taking the best, leaving the rest, and building something new.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
And I always break this down to my brothers.
I I say mommy was not raised tobe a mom because she was raised
by her dad and her grandma.
So it's like she was kind ofraised to be a grandma.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_03 (00:14):
I think that the black family dynamic has changed
over time.
And you can see like we we don'tall grow up in the same
communities anymore.
Like people are moving, whetherit be for work, whether it be
you know for climate.
Because they just peace.
SPEAKER_02 (00:33):
And she just was like kind of trying to figure it
out on her own.
Yeah.
And then also her mom was not amom.
Ugh.
I'm I'm and God is working onme.
Literally because I mean thatfrom the bottom of my food.
SPEAKER_03 (00:53):
When it comes to yelling, back in the day,
African American parents triedto prepare their kids by putting
certain things in place insidethe house, but when they left
the house, they wouldn't break.
Certain types of structure hadto be in place as a survival
mechanism.
(01:19):
Alright, listen.
All right, before we getstarted, let's do a quick
check-in.
How are you?
How's your week?
Ladies, are you okay?
Are you okay?
SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
I wasn't this week.
My week was like blah.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
We had those days sometimes.
SPEAKER_02 (01:37):
I know I had to pick myself up.
Actually, I didn't do it bymyself.
I attended um it's I think it'scalled the Hub their Bible
study.
Because she wasn't giving mewhat I needed.
Listen, I I can only give itwhen I got it.
And my mom was just like,mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And they actually answered thephone.
(01:57):
Well, she did.
But but yeah.
She was playing the devil'sadvocate, and I didn't want to
hear that.
But I actually didn't need tohear any of it.
I needed to be in fellowshipwith the word because when we're
feeling like blah, that's whenwe need to dig deep into the
word.
But I almost had um slightlymild food poisoning last week.
(02:21):
Yeah.
And then this week, my crown inmy mouth.
I got some stuff going on, butGod is good.
All the time.
All the time.
unknown (02:35):
And all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (02:36):
How was your week?
Um, well, I was recovering fromlast week where I was, ooh,
child, I was going through it.
Okay.
I was going through it.
Josh was there for me last week,though.
See how that worked, y'all?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (02:54):
I gave her just what she needed.
Then when it was my turn.
Lizon, she didn't give it back.
Don't say it like that.
Don't say it like that.
She was taking everybody's sidebut mine.
SPEAKER_03 (03:09):
I know.
That's how she perceived it.
I was giving her a differentoutlook.
I was holding, I was holdingspace for what it could
potentially be so she can makean informed decision.
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (03:26):
She ain't seen it like that though.
But one thing I will always beis honest, and I I have empathy
for people, so I'm gonna tellher, well, and then she can make
her own decision.
But she ain't need that in themoment.
That's not what she needed.
So I wasn't the right person forher in that moment.
SPEAKER_02 (03:48):
Shout out to my mentor.
Because this is my day.
It's all right.
I forgive you.
SPEAKER_03 (03:55):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
I brought her MMs today, too.
She brought me MMs.
SPEAKER_03 (04:02):
And we got we have to give our friends grace.
SPEAKER_02 (04:06):
Don't look at me like that.
She side-eyed me.
Anyway, how was the rest of youryour week?
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
How was your today?
My week has been busy.
Um, which is probably why Ididn't have space.
Um work was busy.
So just trying to check thingsoff my list to get things done.
And uh have some thinking space.
(04:35):
Reconnect with my husband.
That's important.
They married though, but theycan do that all they like.
No comment.
But yeah, uh, this week isbetter than last, and that's all
(04:57):
I can ask for right now.
One step at a time, one day at atime.
Um, trying to get back inequilibrium because I'm
recovering from some stuff.
All right.
But let's talk about it.
What's our topic for today?
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
We're gonna talk about let me stop this cycle.
Breaking generational curses.
Let's stop.
We gotta stop it right here.
What's today?
If you haven't done it already,stop today.
What do you think some commongenerational curses are?
(05:37):
Um for me, a generational curseis this is just for me, by the
way.
The the thought that yourfamily, you have to forgive your
family through everything.
So you don't you can't you youyou're gonna forgive them,
(05:57):
right?
But that does not mean that Ihave to keep allowing you to
come around me with thosenegative behaviors.
And you know, like I forgive youfor me, but the thought of like
my grandma would say, Everybodygotta come around.
No, it's okay to set boundarieswith your family.
So the generational curse wouldbe to set those boundaries
(06:20):
because back then we didn't knowabout boundaries.
Uncles was doing whatever theywanted, aunts was doing what
they wanted, the people wasdoing what they wanted, and we
was all sitting around likenothing was going on, and all
the families were having theirlittle side conversations, but
it just nobody put it to an end,like nobody called anybody's
bluff.
Should I say that?
SPEAKER_03 (06:39):
Yeah, you could say that back in the day.
We can forgive, absolutely, butkeep boundaries in place to
protect your heart, protect yourmind, and we ain't gotta keep
secrets no more.
SPEAKER_02 (06:55):
Well, that's that part.
You do something to me or mykids, we calling the cops,
right?
And you going to jail, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:03):
Cause back in the day, everybody got a story,
right?
Yes.
Back in the day, I feel likewhat occurred was a lot in the
black culture was like, we'regonna pray through this.
And Lord knows I'm not againstprayer, but we have to use
wisdom too.
(07:24):
Exactly.
If somebody is harming somebodyor whatever, because some people
just gossipers, sometimes youneed to remove them, set your
boundary, protect your corefamily, and keep things moving.
So, I mean, I I had to gothrough cycles of forgiveness
myself.
Um, but yes, I I keep boundarieswith certain certain situations,
(07:48):
healthy boundaries.
SPEAKER_02 (07:49):
And you know, like you said, pray, right?
Because that's what we'resupposed to do.
But the Bible also said faithwithout works is dead.
So I'm gonna act on it.
I'm gonna act on it, yeah, andI'm gonna get myself away from
you.
SPEAKER_03 (08:05):
Right.
That's another generationalcard.
SPEAKER_02 (08:09):
Addiction.
That was one in my family.
SPEAKER_03 (08:16):
Yeah, that's hard.
Yeah, that's a real personal onefor me.
That hits home for me for sure.
I'm not ready to go there inthis conversation, but I agree.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Yeah, I don't want to go there either.
But you asked me a question andI gave you one because it's uh
today I don't want to crybecause I was upset all week
long.
I even went through the thing oflike missing my grandpa, and you
know, I lost my dad, and then Ijust had my two grandpops, my
uncles, my brothers.
But my grandfathers were like mydog, especially my mom's dad.
(08:54):
No, I can't even do that.
They both had a different typeof way of showing their love for
me.
So my maternal grandfather, hewas just loud.
He was gonna love you out loud,cuss you out, and call you
grand.
Don't don't talk to mygranddaughter like that.
Like, just love you out loud.
(09:14):
So I found myself this week,like, well, I'm going through
all this mentally.
I wish I could just call mypapa.
You know, so I don't want tocry, so I don't really want to
talk about addiction, butgenerational curses, you gotta
break that.
Addiction is heavy and hard.
(09:35):
One thing I told my brother thatwe had to break is
procrastination.
Because, sorry, mom, my mom usedto procrastinate, and I don't
know why she procrastinated somuch.
Like, I don't know why.
And I would tell my brother, myone brother, my baby brother,
(09:56):
he's older than me, but he's mybaby brother.
He always gets mad and say, Mom.
Wait, pause.
You gotta explain that.
Because what?
No, because he he's sensitive.
So you just call him a baby.
I probably shouldn't have saidthat.
Like what?
But yeah, like my baby, my bigbaby brother.
(10:17):
Like, he's older than me, but inmy mind, I'm older than him.
This is hilarious.
So he he gets when he getsupset, sometimes gets in this
tangent, and I had to break itdown and like we just gotta be
different.
Like, don't just say what you'regonna do, do it.
Because my mom a lot of timeswould do that.
(10:39):
And I found myself doing that alot because you have all these
plans in your head, but whathappens is we overplan and we
just do too much, and one timewe try to carry more than we
can, we try to load ourselveswith more than that we can bear,
basically.
And um, my mom did that a lot,and then we'd be like, Well, we
thought you said, We thought youdid.
(11:00):
So I try to do different.
No, try, no, I do different.
So I think that's why now I justbe like, I gotta do this, I
gotta do this, and I make sureuh I do it.
Cause it bothered me.
SPEAKER_03 (11:12):
Talking about that, when we think about generational
curses, we put a lot of pressureon ourselves to not be like what
we seen.
And sometimes it shows out asprogress and getting things
done, other times it shows outas anxiety or I haven't arrived
yet.
And when you see that, sometimesthe element of gratitude
(11:35):
disappears.
Like, and we gotta constantlyjust remind ourselves that we
are not our parents.
That's it.
And we could break thosegenerational curses.
We have the ability to choosehow we want to move throughout
our lives, and once we name itand we understand it, then we
could choose different.
SPEAKER_02 (11:54):
And you know what?
Shout out to our parents becausethey only did what they knew.
unknown (11:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
So we're a step ahead.
And in my mom's case, I alwaysand I always break this down to
my brothers.
I I say mommy was not raised tobe a mom because she was raised
by her dad and her grandmom.
Majority her grandmom, so it'slike she was kind of raised to
be a grandmom.
Does that make sense?
(12:21):
But you see how you laugh, itmakes you feel better.
And like that, she was raised tobe a grandmom.
Listen, if that's what you needto tell yourself to get the
raised because that makes y'allfeel better.
Because she didn't have her mom.
Right.
And then you gotta also thinkabout she because she didn't
have her mom, she just was likekind of trying to figure it out
(12:44):
on her own.
Yeah.
And then also, her mom was a wasnot a mom.
Ugh.
I'm I'm and God is working onme.
Because I mean that from thebottom of my foo.
Keep it there.
Because they know exactly how Ifeel, but anyway, she my mom's
(13:07):
mom was not there for her.
So my mom was just figuring itout.
So that's what I always try tolet them know.
Like, all we could do was bebetter than what we saw.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And she wasn't a bad mom becausewe had just about everything we
needed, you know.
So Yeah.
It's tough.
It's it's hard.
I um yell yelling.
SPEAKER_03 (13:27):
Yelling?
SPEAKER_02 (13:28):
Yelling was one what a generational curse that I try
to break.
I still find myself yellingsometimes.
SPEAKER_03 (13:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:36):
And then I always tell my son, the oldest one, I'm
like, if you ever hear metelling like my mom, let me
know.
So I could just stop.
Yeah, just hold me accountablebecause yelling is my mom yelled
a lot.
But her dad, I just told you herdad was a loud talker.
So she don't think it's yelling,she thinks she's just talking
(13:57):
loud.
And then I gotta bring her backto reality.
SPEAKER_03 (13:59):
And that might be the case.
I feel like some things are yousaid no, no, Debbie yelling.
Correction, Debbie.
Um, I think when it comes toyelling, I I learned or I read
somewhere that back in the day,African American parents tried
(14:20):
to prepare their kids by puttingcertain things in place inside
the house.
So when they left the house,they wouldn't break.
Meaning.
Gotcha.
Well, that makes sense.
Right.
Yeah.
So that makes sense.
When you go out in the world andyou living in a Jim Crow era and
someone pointing at you andyelling down at you and why this
(14:40):
and da-da-da, da-da-da.
You can handle it now becauseyour parents prepared you.
And so you won't allow them tobreak your children.
Unfortunately, during that time,certain types of structure has
it been placed as a survivalmechanism.
Yeah.
It's hard for us sometimesbecause we didn't live in that
(15:01):
era.
But we also found new tools andnew ways to parent and teach our
kids how to protect themselves,what conversations to have with
our kids before they leave thehouse.
But yeah, I have read that andthat resonated with me.
It gave me a differentperspective.
SPEAKER_02 (15:18):
Yeah, thank you for that.
Yeah.
Because sometimes, but sometimesyou can't even talk to these
kids off.
Sometimes you gotta go.
Because they don't listen whenyou be like, hey little Johnny,
can you can you take thatupstairs?
Yeah, you gotta be like, I said,take that toy upstairs right
now.
Sit down.
That gentle parenting don't workin this.
(15:39):
It does not work.
It does not work.
I was trying to do it with thefootball team last week.
Guys, then I had to say, I hadto step away from them because I
was like, do y'all hear me?
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
They won't be like, we got Coach Dom and Coach
Dennis.
SPEAKER_01 (15:57):
Coach D.
The female version of it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:59):
I was trying to have so much patience.
SPEAKER_03 (16:03):
The level of patience.
But you know what?
They had a good time.
Yeah, they did.
I'm glad they had a good time.
Um, and I just realized that Ican't do that job.
I don't want to do that job.
Just not for me.
Nope.
I'll play my part, play myposition.
Gotta give kudos to thosecoaches.
Like, it's really a calling.
Yeah.
(16:23):
It's a calling.
But yeah, generational cursesare major.
We just gotta learn how tonavigate them and how to kind of
move forward because when yousaid that one, I'm still dealing
with it internally.
I know you could feel it,probably.
SPEAKER_02 (16:41):
Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (16:42):
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
I'm still dealing with it now.
SPEAKER_03 (16:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
To this day with my brother.
SPEAKER_03 (16:49):
So yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:50):
I um yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:52):
Sorry.
My family definitely.
I still have to heal to get pastthat, right?
Like I have to heal past whatI've seen and what I've
(17:13):
experienced due to familymembers being addicted.
Um, I forgive.
I forgive.
Um but there's still somedeposits of hurt that I have to
recognize.
Certain things are not my fault.
You know, I have to be okay withthat.
I have to understand thateverybody had to go through
(17:36):
their own stuff.
Because I was taking on stufflike I like it was like you're
just a superhero.
Yeah.
Because you are thinking.
Yeah.
I tried to.
SPEAKER_02 (17:47):
But you gotta know when to put your cake down.
SPEAKER_03 (17:50):
For real.
SPEAKER_02 (17:50):
Because I'm preaching to the car.
SPEAKER_03 (17:54):
Listen, by the way.
If there is anybody who had tolive in a house with someone who
was addicted to something andthey pull themselves out of it,
I give them so much credit.
SPEAKER_02 (18:08):
Yeah, that's the part.
You just said it.
Being able to pull yourself outof it.
Because I have some familymembers, right?
Who the parent, both parents onon, you know, are addicted to
something.
But you got this, these onesthat say, you know, I'm not
touching that.
And they they strived orstriving.
(18:31):
And then you have the other sidethat fell into the same traps.
So kudos to the ones that gotout, and kudos to the ones that
might have dipped dipped in alittle bit and still got out.
unknown (18:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (18:45):
You know what I mean?
Like, but but also what I wantto say is what I saw growing up
compared to what my brothers mayhave seen throughout the family,
throughout things going onaround our family.
Mind you, my family's huge, um,is different.
So my ver my version and theirversion's completely different.
SPEAKER_03 (19:08):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (19:09):
So I'm thinking sugar and all everything's
sweet.
And they might be like, yeah,that's because she X, Y, and Z.
SPEAKER_03 (19:19):
And that's 100% accurate because my family has
the same story, you know?
And so I get it.
And I seen both sides.
Yeah.
And so it was like, it was likeI had to explain to some of my
siblings, like, yeah, it wasn'talways like that.
And but sometimes I even feelbad because I feel bad that they
(19:40):
didn't get to experience that.
You know what I'm saying?
And it's like almost I've I usedto feel guilty that I
experienced this side, thisawesome side, and I kept trying,
and they didn't.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, how would you feel if yourdad is physically here but
didn't show up to yourgraduation?
Yeah, that's that's hard.
(20:01):
And I had, and but he showed upto mine.
unknown (20:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (20:04):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
And me and my siblings have agreat relationship.
And I will say, my mothercovered us with the blood of
Jesus, and my and my dad, he wasa believer.
He was a believer, he just gotcaught up.
You know what I'm saying?
And his battle and his owndemons.
SPEAKER_02 (20:18):
Yeah, his own demons, his own demons that was
hard to shake.
But you you it's hard, and youjust said something that
resonated because um, like I'mprobably so my generation of
cousins that I'm around, like atmy uncle's house and stuff,
they're not my first cousins,they're my second cousins.
(20:41):
So I'm in the first generation.
So when when you're saying youwish that they could have seen
what you saw, this even goesback to our generation of my
timing of like just being aroundmy grandpop and my grandmom.
They didn't get that, you theydidn't get the feel, they didn't
get the the this is how thefamily is built, this is what
(21:03):
we, this is how we carryourselves.
They didn't get that.
So when I come around, right,that generation, I expect them
to think exactly how I thinkbecause that's how I was brought
up.
And then I gotta be clicked backright in.
And my brothers and my oldercousins be like, remember,
that's not our generation.
(21:24):
They didn't get to experiencethe love and stuff from grandmom
and grandpa like like we did.
So that resonated with me.
It's not a curse, but it's justlike, dang, we um we did
experience different memoriesthat others didn't, and you just
wish you could, they could havebeen right there with you to get
that love and get thatunderstanding.
SPEAKER_03 (21:45):
But yeah, and then some people just don't have
that.
Like my maternal grandparentspassed away when um I was fairly
young, so I didn't have um likeI never call nobody Nana or Mam
or anything like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, my dad's parents very mucharound, um, but when I hear
(22:07):
people talk about therelationship they had with their
grandparents, I'm like, huh,mine was a little different.
Yeah, we we don't all grow up inthe same communities anymore.
Like people are moving, whetherit be for work or whether it be,
you know, for climate or to thesuburbs or to the city, like
it's just so much um migration,yeah, and and because they just
(22:31):
want peace and peace.
SPEAKER_02 (22:36):
Because Lord, I love my family to death, but Lord,
whoo, peace.
I ain't trading nothing and noone for my peace, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:48):
That part, um, yeah, so that's uh that's interesting.
But y'all let us know, likewhat's your family dynamic?
Because I'm curious now.
SPEAKER_02 (22:56):
And what's a generational curse that you're
trying to break, or you'rebreaking, you're currently
breaking, or that you've broken,and now you've got a new system
going on for your family.
Listen, before we go, my onecousin, he definitely broke a
generational curse.
Like his dad used to fry fishreally, really good, like cook
(23:17):
really good.
And and he's my first cousin.
His dad is my first cousin.
He used to cook out of a um likea food truck kind of thing.
My cousin leveled up.
You hear me?
Yeah, got he had threerestaurants at one time.
It was either two or three.
It had his dad right there withhim.
I was like, now that's how youdo it.
SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
So let me ask you then, mm-hmm.
Because some of these things welooking at as generational
curses, but look at it this way.
That wasn't a curse though,yeah.
Because look at it this way.
He was taught something and hejust brought it to the next
level, right?
Yes.
So he built on what his dadtaught him in the opportunities
that came his way.
(23:55):
His dad was intelligent enoughto at least deposit in him that
you're gonna take this and makesomething out of it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but the same thing, evenwhen we talked about addiction,
I know people who have parentswho was addicted and they went
and opened up a treatment centeror this or that.
That's the positive aunt becausemy dad's sister, like she she,
(24:18):
first of all, she is cover,anointed, everything.
But when she walks it and sheYou just gave me chills, like
when I tell you, oh Jesus, Icould start talking I could
start speaking in tongue thingabout um my aunt.
But um what what we with theenemy that was gonna take us
(24:39):
out.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
What oh, and what he what he wants us to just believe
is a curse.
SPEAKER_03 (24:44):
We can girl, change because the motivation, yes,
look at God, the mo honey, themotivation, yeah, because I knew
how for me personally, I knewhow brilliant my dad was, and I
knew how many people didn't getto experience that.
And I was like, I'm not, I'mwhat the enemy thought was gonna
(25:05):
kill me.
SPEAKER_02 (25:06):
Look, because you are here, friend.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
I don't know what this means.
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
I don't know, they be doing that.
Am I doing it right?
They be like, clock it.
Hold on, maybe my hands too.
Clock it.
I be feeling like they justchanged this, like, because
that's what they that's whatthey do at like the poetry.
Yeah, maybe they did, and theyjust like we're gonna do this
now.
I think they do that too,because I went to see someone a
(25:35):
couple years ago and they weredoing this.
So whoever from TikTok stole,they stole it from tell us where
this came from and what it weahwe need to know that too,
because we're getting a littleum mature, yeah, wise.
SPEAKER_03 (25:48):
So we don't know, but anyway, honey, yeah.
Oh, I need a dad just nowbecause for a minute, dear, I
was struggling.
I was struggling, I was becauseit's such a it's so heavy for
me.
Yeah, especially when you'reliving in it when you were so
young and tried to get yourfather out.
SPEAKER_02 (26:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:10):
When you personally tried, but you gotta let that
go.
I do need to let it go, but whatI will say is that it's a great
motivator.
SPEAKER_02 (26:18):
It is, but don't blame yourself.
SPEAKER_03 (26:20):
Yeah, I it yeah, I think I moved past the blame.
Okay.
I think what's heavy for me,one, I miss him.
Right.
Of course.
And two, I didn't I know there'ssome people out there who could
empathize with me, but it wasthe passing that was hard for
(26:41):
me.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
Yeah, okay.
All right, guys.
SPEAKER_03 (26:44):
Yeah, it was that part.
SPEAKER_02 (26:46):
Okay.
We're gonna wrap it up.
We're gonna leave it right.
SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
Yeah, we're gonna leave it right there.
Another time we're gonna talkabout that.
Another time we'll talk aboutthat because I wanted to punch
somebody in their face.
She's looking like she's gonnapunch me.
SPEAKER_01 (27:01):
But the girl is up in the hood.
Who did it?
Oh did it, stop, don't tell mestop.
We pulled around.
We pulled her out.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
Look at her.
SPEAKER_01 (27:14):
That's how I know.
SPEAKER_02 (27:16):
We pulled her out.
She up now.
SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
I'm done.
She is up, she is up.
I'm done.
Back to my corporate and I said,Come on, what's next?
SPEAKER_02 (27:26):
We are not corporate here.
We ain't corporate here.
We took the no capes are off,shoes are off, toes is out,
everything.
She and all pants off because Igot shorts on.
I'm halfway to my make it womanera.
Make it woman era.
Make it era loading.
Yes, it's loading.
SPEAKER_03 (27:47):
That's funny.
All right, let's jump.
Let's jump ahead.
Um, just do you want to leavethe people with anything?
Because we talked about a lot.
I think we gotta leave them withsomething.
SPEAKER_02 (27:59):
Keep breaking those curses and don't look at
everything as a curse.
Take it to the next level.
Yep.
Change that, turn that for himupside down and do something
about do something with it.
Like, if there's one thing Icould have changed, my whole
family knew my brother, mydad's, my uncle's construction.
(28:22):
Take it to the next level.
Like, construction co.
My last name, construction co.
Yeah.
So don't give up.
It's hard, but keep changingthem curses.
I don't even want to keepcalling it curses.
SPEAKER_03 (28:37):
Nah, we're gonna find a new new word for it
because, and we gottaacknowledge if I could just the
old ways.
Yeah, but I'm gonna add to whatyou said.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm gonna we got to acknowledgewhat our parents did accomplish,
right?
Um, whether as a family or not.
Like I have to acknowledge thatmy family opened a business and
(29:01):
it was it was a truckingbusiness, underwood transco.
So when you said constructioncode, I was like, girl, my
parents did that.
My dad, my dad did that.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
My granddad did that on my mom's side.
SPEAKER_03 (29:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:14):
My the people on my dad's side, they did.
SPEAKER_03 (29:17):
You still working on it.
Yeah, it's coming.
And so when we have toacknowledge what they did
accomplish, because I sat hereand I was hurting over what my
dad didn't do.
But I have to say that mygrandmother and her business
acumen, and my dad and hisbusiness acumen, you know, they
(29:39):
they tried and they got somethings off the off the ground
despite you know what else wasoccurring.
Right.
So sometimes I have to sit backand say, okay, maybe it wasn't
as successful as it could havebeen, or or whatnot, but they
did it, they did it.
unknown (29:55):
Period.
SPEAKER_03 (29:56):
They put that deposit down and said, and
y'all, y'all.
Gonna open businesses too.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And you know what?
Shout out to my uncle.
Shout out to your uncle.
My mom's side.
That's the one that after mypapa passed away, they built the
compound on my pop up'sproperty.
So that's generational wealth.
So shout out to you, UncleSapeda.
I'm throwing his name out there.
My Uncle Sapeta.
Don't play with him.
(30:21):
Because guess what?
SPEAKER_03 (30:22):
He so yeah, he likes, and and what y'all gonna
do next.
Yep.
You know what I'm saying?
And I just got chills.
Because they model in a way.
Yep, they are.
They model in the way.
And and sometimes we gottareally think about that though.
So take away from this thatdon't dwell on a negative.
Don't dwell on what your parentsdidn't do.
There you go.
(30:43):
Yeah, but make sure youacknowledge what they did do and
what generational curses theybroke.
SPEAKER_02 (30:48):
And maybe that's a conversation you need to have if
your parent is still living.
That might be a goodconversation.
Like, mom, like mom or dad, likewhat was it like?
Yeah, what did you do differentfrom your parents?
Yeah, because my mom because youraised all your kids, girl.
No, that's you did somethingthat your mom didn't do.
(31:12):
She didn't.
That is a my mom raised all herkids.
I know, I know.
What her mom didn't?
You're right.
So shout out to my mom.
Yes, because Lord Jesus, thatwas my mom.
If I if I didn't know, she didbecause I was serious.
SPEAKER_03 (31:32):
That's why it was so funny.
Shout out to my mom.
But shout out to your mombecause she did her big one
without the instruction manual.
You know what I'm saying?
And shout out to my mama becauseshe raised some great kids.
And she did.
And that word of God is in thebelly of my mom.
And she prayed over us everysingle night.
(31:54):
She put that oil on our head inour sleep when we wasn't sure
what we was gonna do for.
SPEAKER_02 (32:00):
My kids are looking at me crazy for doing that now.
I know, right?
I don't care.
Y'all gonna understand later.
Shout out to our parents forinstilling the word of God.
Because one thing we do know isGod in his word, and we don't
play by him.
Yeah.
So shout out to them.
For real.
And sometimes I don't want tohear it at all.
(32:22):
But I also be schooling herbecause I come out with the
Josh's version of the Bible.
Like this is how we're gonnabreak it down.
SPEAKER_03 (32:29):
We're gonna hear her version because I know it's
funny.
SPEAKER_02 (32:31):
Because I'm a I'ma interpret it just how y'all can
understand.
That's what the generationneeds.
That's why Kurt Franklin was sogood.
Exactly, because God was like,hey yo, hey yo, look, because
that's what he said.
Grab that stone.
Grab that stone, that one rightthere, pick it up.
(32:52):
Go cast it, throw it.
But yeah, so that's it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (32:59):
All right, ladies, tell us about what y'all y'all
parents broke or what y'allbreak in.
SPEAKER_02 (33:06):
And uh yeah, we can't wait to hear it.
And don't forget to tell us whatit means and where it came from.
And I always break this down to my brothers.
I I say mommy was not raised tobe a mom because she was raised
by her dad and her grandma.
So it's like she was kind ofraised to be a grandma.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_03 (00:14):
I think that the black family dynamic has changed
over time.
And you can see like we we don'tall grow up in the same
communities anymore.
Like people are moving, whetherit be for work, whether it be
you know for climate.
Because they just peace.
SPEAKER_02 (00:33):
And she just was like kind of trying to figure it
out on her own.
Yeah.
And then also her mom was not amom.
Ugh.
I'm I'm and God is working onme.
Literally because I mean thatfrom the bottom of my food.
SPEAKER_03 (00:53):
When it comes to yelling, back in the day,
African American parents triedto prepare their kids by putting
certain things in place insidethe house, but when they left
the house, they wouldn't break.
Certain types of structure hadto be in place as a survival
mechanism.
(01:19):
Alright, listen.
All right, before we getstarted, let's do a quick
check-in.
How are you?
How's your week?
Ladies, are you okay?
Are you okay?
SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
I wasn't this week.
My week was like blah.
SPEAKER_03 (01:36):
We had those days sometimes.
SPEAKER_02 (01:37):
I know I had to pick myself up.
Actually, I didn't do it bymyself.
I attended um it's I think it'scalled the Hub their Bible
study.
Because she wasn't giving mewhat I needed.
Listen, I I can only give itwhen I got it.
And my mom was just like,mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
And they actually answered thephone.
(01:57):
Well, she did.
But but yeah.
She was playing the devil'sadvocate, and I didn't want to
hear that.
But I actually didn't need tohear any of it.
I needed to be in fellowshipwith the word because when we're
feeling like blah, that's whenwe need to dig deep into the
word.
But I almost had um slightlymild food poisoning last week.
(02:21):
Yeah.
And then this week, my crown inmy mouth.
I got some stuff going on, butGod is good.
All the time.
All the time.
unknown (02:35):
And all the time.
SPEAKER_03 (02:36):
How was your week?
Um, well, I was recovering fromlast week where I was, ooh,
child, I was going through it.
Okay.
I was going through it.
Josh was there for me last week,though.
See how that worked, y'all?
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (02:54):
I gave her just what she needed.
Then when it was my turn.
Lizon, she didn't give it back.
Don't say it like that.
Don't say it like that.
She was taking everybody's sidebut mine.
SPEAKER_03 (03:09):
I know.
That's how she perceived it.
I was giving her a differentoutlook.
I was holding, I was holdingspace for what it could
potentially be so she can makean informed decision.
SPEAKER_00 (03:25):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (03:26):
She ain't seen it like that though.
But one thing I will always beis honest, and I I have empathy
for people, so I'm gonna tellher, well, and then she can make
her own decision.
But she ain't need that in themoment.
That's not what she needed.
So I wasn't the right person forher in that moment.
SPEAKER_02 (03:48):
Shout out to my mentor.
Because this is my day.
It's all right.
I forgive you.
SPEAKER_03 (03:55):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (03:58):
I brought her MMs today, too.
She brought me MMs.
SPEAKER_03 (04:02):
And we got we have to give our friends grace.
SPEAKER_02 (04:06):
Don't look at me like that.
She side-eyed me.
Anyway, how was the rest of youryour week?
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
How was your today?
My week has been busy.
Um, which is probably why Ididn't have space.
Um work was busy.
So just trying to check thingsoff my list to get things done.
And uh have some thinking space.
(04:35):
Reconnect with my husband.
That's important.
They married though, but theycan do that all they like.
No comment.
But yeah, uh, this week isbetter than last, and that's all
(04:57):
I can ask for right now.
One step at a time, one day at atime.
Um, trying to get back inequilibrium because I'm
recovering from some stuff.
All right.
But let's talk about it.
What's our topic for today?
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
We're gonna talk about let me stop this cycle.
Breaking generational curses.
Let's stop.
We gotta stop it right here.
What's today?
If you haven't done it already,stop today.
What do you think some commongenerational curses are?
(05:37):
Um for me, a generational curseis this is just for me, by the
way.
The the thought that yourfamily, you have to forgive your
family through everything.
So you don't you can't you youyou're gonna forgive them,
(05:57):
right?
But that does not mean that Ihave to keep allowing you to
come around me with thosenegative behaviors.
And you know, like I forgive youfor me, but the thought of like
my grandma would say, Everybodygotta come around.
No, it's okay to set boundarieswith your family.
So the generational curse wouldbe to set those boundaries
(06:20):
because back then we didn't knowabout boundaries.
Uncles was doing whatever theywanted, aunts was doing what
they wanted, the people wasdoing what they wanted, and we
was all sitting around likenothing was going on, and all
the families were having theirlittle side conversations, but
it just nobody put it to an end,like nobody called anybody's
bluff.
Should I say that?
SPEAKER_03 (06:39):
Yeah, you could say that back in the day.
We can forgive, absolutely, butkeep boundaries in place to
protect your heart, protect yourmind, and we ain't gotta keep
secrets no more.
SPEAKER_02 (06:55):
Well, that's that part.
You do something to me or mykids, we calling the cops,
right?
And you going to jail, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (07:03):
Cause back in the day, everybody got a story,
right?
Yes.
Back in the day, I feel likewhat occurred was a lot in the
black culture was like, we'regonna pray through this.
And Lord knows I'm not againstprayer, but we have to use
wisdom too.
(07:24):
Exactly.
If somebody is harming somebodyor whatever, because some people
just gossipers, sometimes youneed to remove them, set your
boundary, protect your corefamily, and keep things moving.
So, I mean, I I had to gothrough cycles of forgiveness
myself.
Um, but yes, I I keep boundarieswith certain certain situations,
(07:48):
healthy boundaries.
SPEAKER_02 (07:49):
And you know, like you said, pray, right?
Because that's what we'resupposed to do.
But the Bible also said faithwithout works is dead.
So I'm gonna act on it.
I'm gonna act on it, yeah, andI'm gonna get myself away from
you.
SPEAKER_03 (08:05):
Right.
That's another generationalcard.
SPEAKER_02 (08:09):
Addiction.
That was one in my family.
SPEAKER_03 (08:16):
Yeah, that's hard.
Yeah, that's a real personal onefor me.
That hits home for me for sure.
I'm not ready to go there inthis conversation, but I agree.
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Yeah, I don't want to go there either.
But you asked me a question andI gave you one because it's uh
today I don't want to crybecause I was upset all week
long.
I even went through the thing oflike missing my grandpa, and you
know, I lost my dad, and then Ijust had my two grandpops, my
uncles, my brothers.
But my grandfathers were like mydog, especially my mom's dad.
(08:54):
No, I can't even do that.
They both had a different typeof way of showing their love for
me.
So my maternal grandfather, hewas just loud.
He was gonna love you out loud,cuss you out, and call you
grand.
Don't don't talk to mygranddaughter like that.
Like, just love you out loud.
(09:14):
So I found myself this week,like, well, I'm going through
all this mentally.
I wish I could just call mypapa.
You know, so I don't want tocry, so I don't really want to
talk about addiction, butgenerational curses, you gotta
break that.
Addiction is heavy and hard.
(09:35):
One thing I told my brother thatwe had to break is
procrastination.
Because, sorry, mom, my mom usedto procrastinate, and I don't
know why she procrastinated somuch.
Like, I don't know why.
And I would tell my brother, myone brother, my baby brother,
(09:56):
he's older than me, but he's mybaby brother.
He always gets mad and say, Mom.
Wait, pause.
You gotta explain that.
Because what?
No, because he he's sensitive.
So you just call him a baby.
I probably shouldn't have saidthat.
Like what?
But yeah, like my baby, my bigbaby brother.
(10:17):
Like, he's older than me, but inmy mind, I'm older than him.
This is hilarious.
So he he gets when he getsupset, sometimes gets in this
tangent, and I had to break itdown and like we just gotta be
different.
Like, don't just say what you'regonna do, do it.
Because my mom a lot of timeswould do that.
(10:39):
And I found myself doing that alot because you have all these
plans in your head, but whathappens is we overplan and we
just do too much, and one timewe try to carry more than we
can, we try to load ourselveswith more than that we can bear,
basically.
And um, my mom did that a lot,and then we'd be like, Well, we
thought you said, We thought youdid.
(11:00):
So I try to do different.
No, try, no, I do different.
So I think that's why now I justbe like, I gotta do this, I
gotta do this, and I make sureuh I do it.
Cause it bothered me.
SPEAKER_03 (11:12):
Talking about that, when we think about generational
curses, we put a lot of pressureon ourselves to not be like what
we seen.
And sometimes it shows out asprogress and getting things
done, other times it shows outas anxiety or I haven't arrived
yet.
And when you see that, sometimesthe element of gratitude
(11:35):
disappears.
Like, and we gotta constantlyjust remind ourselves that we
are not our parents.
That's it.
And we could break thosegenerational curses.
We have the ability to choosehow we want to move throughout
our lives, and once we name itand we understand it, then we
could choose different.
SPEAKER_02 (11:54):
And you know what?
Shout out to our parents becausethey only did what they knew.
unknown (11:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
So we're a step ahead.
And in my mom's case, I alwaysand I always break this down to
my brothers.
I I say mommy was not raised tobe a mom because she was raised
by her dad and her grandmom.
Majority her grandmom, so it'slike she was kind of raised to
be a grandmom.
Does that make sense?
(12:21):
But you see how you laugh, itmakes you feel better.
And like that, she was raised tobe a grandmom.
Listen, if that's what you needto tell yourself to get the
raised because that makes y'allfeel better.
Because she didn't have her mom.
Right.
And then you gotta also thinkabout she because she didn't
have her mom, she just was likekind of trying to figure it out
(12:44):
on her own.
Yeah.
And then also, her mom was a wasnot a mom.
Ugh.
I'm I'm and God is working onme.
Because I mean that from thebottom of my foo.
Keep it there.
Because they know exactly how Ifeel, but anyway, she my mom's
(13:07):
mom was not there for her.
So my mom was just figuring itout.
So that's what I always try tolet them know.
Like, all we could do was bebetter than what we saw.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And she wasn't a bad mom becausewe had just about everything we
needed, you know.
So Yeah.
It's tough.
It's it's hard.
I um yell yelling.
SPEAKER_03 (13:27):
Yelling?
SPEAKER_02 (13:28):
Yelling was one what a generational curse that I try
to break.
I still find myself yellingsometimes.
SPEAKER_03 (13:35):
Okay.
SPEAKER_02 (13:36):
And then I always tell my son, the oldest one, I'm
like, if you ever hear metelling like my mom, let me
know.
So I could just stop.
Yeah, just hold me accountablebecause yelling is my mom yelled
a lot.
But her dad, I just told you herdad was a loud talker.
So she don't think it's yelling,she thinks she's just talking
(13:57):
loud.
And then I gotta bring her backto reality.
SPEAKER_03 (13:59):
And that might be the case.
I feel like some things are yousaid no, no, Debbie yelling.
Correction, Debbie.
Um, I think when it comes toyelling, I I learned or I read
somewhere that back in the day,African American parents tried
(14:20):
to prepare their kids by puttingcertain things in place inside
the house.
So when they left the house,they wouldn't break.
Meaning.
Gotcha.
Well, that makes sense.
Right.
Yeah.
So that makes sense.
When you go out in the world andyou living in a Jim Crow era and
someone pointing at you andyelling down at you and why this
(14:40):
and da-da-da, da-da-da.
You can handle it now becauseyour parents prepared you.
And so you won't allow them tobreak your children.
Unfortunately, during that time,certain types of structure has
it been placed as a survivalmechanism.
Yeah.
It's hard for us sometimesbecause we didn't live in that
(15:01):
era.
But we also found new tools andnew ways to parent and teach our
kids how to protect themselves,what conversations to have with
our kids before they leave thehouse.
But yeah, I have read that andthat resonated with me.
It gave me a differentperspective.
SPEAKER_02 (15:18):
Yeah, thank you for that.
Yeah.
Because sometimes, but sometimesyou can't even talk to these
kids off.
Sometimes you gotta go.
Because they don't listen whenyou be like, hey little Johnny,
can you can you take thatupstairs?
Yeah, you gotta be like, I said,take that toy upstairs right
now.
Sit down.
That gentle parenting don't workin this.
(15:39):
It does not work.
It does not work.
I was trying to do it with thefootball team last week.
Guys, then I had to say, I hadto step away from them because I
was like, do y'all hear me?
SPEAKER_03 (15:51):
They won't be like, we got Coach Dom and Coach
Dennis.
SPEAKER_01 (15:57):
Coach D.
The female version of it.
SPEAKER_02 (15:59):
I was trying to have so much patience.
SPEAKER_03 (16:03):
The level of patience.
But you know what?
They had a good time.
Yeah, they did.
I'm glad they had a good time.
Um, and I just realized that Ican't do that job.
I don't want to do that job.
Just not for me.
Nope.
I'll play my part, play myposition.
Gotta give kudos to thosecoaches.
Like, it's really a calling.
Yeah.
(16:23):
It's a calling.
But yeah, generational cursesare major.
We just gotta learn how tonavigate them and how to kind of
move forward because when yousaid that one, I'm still dealing
with it internally.
I know you could feel it,probably.
SPEAKER_02 (16:41):
Oh, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (16:42):
It's okay.
SPEAKER_02 (16:44):
I'm still dealing with it now.
SPEAKER_03 (16:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:46):
To this day with my brother.
SPEAKER_03 (16:49):
So yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (16:50):
I um yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:52):
Sorry.
My family definitely.
I still have to heal to get pastthat, right?
Like I have to heal past whatI've seen and what I've
(17:13):
experienced due to familymembers being addicted.
Um, I forgive.
I forgive.
Um but there's still somedeposits of hurt that I have to
recognize.
Certain things are not my fault.
You know, I have to be okay withthat.
I have to understand thateverybody had to go through
(17:36):
their own stuff.
Because I was taking on stufflike I like it was like you're
just a superhero.
Yeah.
Because you are thinking.
Yeah.
I tried to.
SPEAKER_02 (17:47):
But you gotta know when to put your cake down.
SPEAKER_03 (17:50):
For real.
SPEAKER_02 (17:50):
Because I'm preaching to the car.
SPEAKER_03 (17:54):
Listen, by the way.
If there is anybody who had tolive in a house with someone who
was addicted to something andthey pull themselves out of it,
I give them so much credit.
SPEAKER_02 (18:08):
Yeah, that's the part.
You just said it.
Being able to pull yourself outof it.
Because I have some familymembers, right?
Who the parent, both parents onon, you know, are addicted to
something.
But you got this, these onesthat say, you know, I'm not
touching that.
And they they strived orstriving.
(18:31):
And then you have the other sidethat fell into the same traps.
So kudos to the ones that gotout, and kudos to the ones that
might have dipped dipped in alittle bit and still got out.
unknown (18:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (18:45):
You know what I mean?
Like, but but also what I wantto say is what I saw growing up
compared to what my brothers mayhave seen throughout the family,
throughout things going onaround our family.
Mind you, my family's huge, um,is different.
So my ver my version and theirversion's completely different.
SPEAKER_03 (19:08):
Yep.
SPEAKER_02 (19:09):
So I'm thinking sugar and all everything's
sweet.
And they might be like, yeah,that's because she X, Y, and Z.
SPEAKER_03 (19:19):
And that's 100% accurate because my family has
the same story, you know?
And so I get it.
And I seen both sides.
Yeah.
And so it was like, it was likeI had to explain to some of my
siblings, like, yeah, it wasn'talways like that.
And but sometimes I even feelbad because I feel bad that they
(19:40):
didn't get to experience that.
You know what I'm saying?
And it's like almost I've I usedto feel guilty that I
experienced this side, thisawesome side, and I kept trying,
and they didn't.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, how would you feel if yourdad is physically here but
didn't show up to yourgraduation?
Yeah, that's that's hard.
(20:01):
And I had, and but he showed upto mine.
unknown (20:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (20:04):
Like, you know what I'm saying?
And me and my siblings have agreat relationship.
And I will say, my mothercovered us with the blood of
Jesus, and my and my dad, he wasa believer.
He was a believer, he just gotcaught up.
You know what I'm saying?
And his battle and his owndemons.
SPEAKER_02 (20:18):
Yeah, his own demons, his own demons that was
hard to shake.
But you you it's hard, and youjust said something that
resonated because um, like I'mprobably so my generation of
cousins that I'm around, like atmy uncle's house and stuff,
they're not my first cousins,they're my second cousins.
(20:41):
So I'm in the first generation.
So when when you're saying youwish that they could have seen
what you saw, this even goesback to our generation of my
timing of like just being aroundmy grandpop and my grandmom.
They didn't get that, you theydidn't get the feel, they didn't
get the the this is how thefamily is built, this is what
(21:03):
we, this is how we carryourselves.
They didn't get that.
So when I come around, right,that generation, I expect them
to think exactly how I thinkbecause that's how I was brought
up.
And then I gotta be clicked backright in.
And my brothers and my oldercousins be like, remember,
that's not our generation.
(21:24):
They didn't get to experiencethe love and stuff from grandmom
and grandpa like like we did.
So that resonated with me.
It's not a curse, but it's justlike, dang, we um we did
experience different memoriesthat others didn't, and you just
wish you could, they could havebeen right there with you to get
that love and get thatunderstanding.
SPEAKER_03 (21:45):
But yeah, and then some people just don't have
that.
Like my maternal grandparentspassed away when um I was fairly
young, so I didn't have um likeI never call nobody Nana or Mam
or anything like that.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, my dad's parents very mucharound, um, but when I hear
(22:07):
people talk about therelationship they had with their
grandparents, I'm like, huh,mine was a little different.
Yeah, we we don't all grow up inthe same communities anymore.
Like people are moving, whetherit be for work or whether it be,
you know, for climate or to thesuburbs or to the city, like
it's just so much um migration,yeah, and and because they just
(22:31):
want peace and peace.
SPEAKER_02 (22:36):
Because Lord, I love my family to death, but Lord,
whoo, peace.
I ain't trading nothing and noone for my peace, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (22:48):
That part, um, yeah, so that's uh that's interesting.
But y'all let us know, likewhat's your family dynamic?
Because I'm curious now.
SPEAKER_02 (22:56):
And what's a generational curse that you're
trying to break, or you'rebreaking, you're currently
breaking, or that you've broken,and now you've got a new system
going on for your family.
Listen, before we go, my onecousin, he definitely broke a
generational curse.
Like his dad used to fry fishreally, really good, like cook
(23:17):
really good.
And and he's my first cousin.
His dad is my first cousin.
He used to cook out of a um likea food truck kind of thing.
My cousin leveled up.
You hear me?
Yeah, got he had threerestaurants at one time.
It was either two or three.
It had his dad right there withhim.
I was like, now that's how youdo it.
SPEAKER_03 (23:34):
So let me ask you then, mm-hmm.
Because some of these things welooking at as generational
curses, but look at it this way.
That wasn't a curse though,yeah.
Because look at it this way.
He was taught something and hejust brought it to the next
level, right?
Yes.
So he built on what his dadtaught him in the opportunities
that came his way.
(23:55):
His dad was intelligent enoughto at least deposit in him that
you're gonna take this and makesomething out of it.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, but the same thing, evenwhen we talked about addiction,
I know people who have parentswho was addicted and they went
and opened up a treatment centeror this or that.
That's the positive aunt becausemy dad's sister, like she she,
(24:18):
first of all, she is cover,anointed, everything.
But when she walks it and sheYou just gave me chills, like
when I tell you, oh Jesus, Icould start talking I could
start speaking in tongue thingabout um my aunt.
But um what what we with theenemy that was gonna take us
(24:39):
out.
SPEAKER_02 (24:40):
What oh, and what he what he wants us to just believe
is a curse.
SPEAKER_03 (24:44):
We can girl, change because the motivation, yes,
look at God, the mo honey, themotivation, yeah, because I knew
how for me personally, I knewhow brilliant my dad was, and I
knew how many people didn't getto experience that.
And I was like, I'm not, I'mwhat the enemy thought was gonna
(25:05):
kill me.
SPEAKER_02 (25:06):
Look, because you are here, friend.
SPEAKER_01 (25:11):
I don't know what this means.
SPEAKER_02 (25:14):
I don't know, they be doing that.
Am I doing it right?
They be like, clock it.
Hold on, maybe my hands too.
Clock it.
I be feeling like they justchanged this, like, because
that's what they that's whatthey do at like the poetry.
Yeah, maybe they did, and theyjust like we're gonna do this
now.
I think they do that too,because I went to see someone a
(25:35):
couple years ago and they weredoing this.
So whoever from TikTok stole,they stole it from tell us where
this came from and what it weahwe need to know that too,
because we're getting a littleum mature, yeah, wise.
SPEAKER_03 (25:48):
So we don't know, but anyway, honey, yeah.
Oh, I need a dad just nowbecause for a minute, dear, I
was struggling.
I was struggling, I was becauseit's such a it's so heavy for
me.
Yeah, especially when you'reliving in it when you were so
young and tried to get yourfather out.
SPEAKER_02 (26:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (26:10):
When you personally tried, but you gotta let that
go.
I do need to let it go, but whatI will say is that it's a great
motivator.
SPEAKER_02 (26:18):
It is, but don't blame yourself.
SPEAKER_03 (26:20):
Yeah, I it yeah, I think I moved past the blame.
Okay.
I think what's heavy for me,one, I miss him.
Right.
Of course.
And two, I didn't I know there'ssome people out there who could
empathize with me, but it wasthe passing that was hard for
(26:41):
me.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_02 (26:42):
Yeah, okay.
All right, guys.
SPEAKER_03 (26:44):
Yeah, it was that part.
SPEAKER_02 (26:46):
Okay.
We're gonna wrap it up.
We're gonna leave it right.
SPEAKER_03 (26:49):
Yeah, we're gonna leave it right there.
Another time we're gonna talkabout that.
Another time we'll talk aboutthat because I wanted to punch
somebody in their face.
She's looking like she's gonnapunch me.
SPEAKER_01 (27:01):
But the girl is up in the hood.
Who did it?
Oh did it, stop, don't tell mestop.
We pulled around.
We pulled her out.
SPEAKER_02 (27:13):
Look at her.
SPEAKER_01 (27:14):
That's how I know.
SPEAKER_02 (27:16):
We pulled her out.
She up now.
SPEAKER_03 (27:18):
I'm done.
She is up, she is up.
I'm done.
Back to my corporate and I said,Come on, what's next?
SPEAKER_02 (27:26):
We are not corporate here.
We ain't corporate here.
We took the no capes are off,shoes are off, toes is out,
everything.
She and all pants off because Igot shorts on.
I'm halfway to my make it womanera.
Make it woman era.
Make it era loading.
Yes, it's loading.
SPEAKER_03 (27:47):
That's funny.
All right, let's jump.
Let's jump ahead.
Um, just do you want to leavethe people with anything?
Because we talked about a lot.
I think we gotta leave them withsomething.
SPEAKER_02 (27:59):
Keep breaking those curses and don't look at
everything as a curse.
Take it to the next level.
Yep.
Change that, turn that for himupside down and do something
about do something with it.
Like, if there's one thing Icould have changed, my whole
family knew my brother, mydad's, my uncle's construction.
(28:22):
Take it to the next level.
Like, construction co.
My last name, construction co.
Yeah.
So don't give up.
It's hard, but keep changingthem curses.
I don't even want to keepcalling it curses.
SPEAKER_03 (28:37):
Nah, we're gonna find a new new word for it
because, and we gottaacknowledge if I could just the
old ways.
Yeah, but I'm gonna add to whatyou said.
Okay, go ahead.
I'm gonna we got to acknowledgewhat our parents did accomplish,
right?
Um, whether as a family or not.
Like I have to acknowledge thatmy family opened a business and
(29:01):
it was it was a truckingbusiness, underwood transco.
So when you said constructioncode, I was like, girl, my
parents did that.
My dad, my dad did that.
SPEAKER_02 (29:11):
My granddad did that on my mom's side.
SPEAKER_03 (29:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (29:14):
My the people on my dad's side, they did.
SPEAKER_03 (29:17):
You still working on it.
Yeah, it's coming.
And so when we have toacknowledge what they did
accomplish, because I sat hereand I was hurting over what my
dad didn't do.
But I have to say that mygrandmother and her business
acumen, and my dad and hisbusiness acumen, you know, they
(29:39):
they tried and they got somethings off the off the ground
despite you know what else wasoccurring.
Right.
So sometimes I have to sit backand say, okay, maybe it wasn't
as successful as it could havebeen, or or whatnot, but they
did it, they did it.
unknown (29:55):
Period.
SPEAKER_03 (29:56):
They put that deposit down and said, and
y'all, y'all.
Gonna open businesses too.
SPEAKER_02 (30:01):
And you know what?
Shout out to my uncle.
Shout out to your uncle.
My mom's side.
That's the one that after mypapa passed away, they built the
compound on my pop up'sproperty.
So that's generational wealth.
So shout out to you, UncleSapeda.
I'm throwing his name out there.
My Uncle Sapeta.
Don't play with him.
(30:21):
Because guess what?
SPEAKER_03 (30:22):
He so yeah, he likes, and and what y'all gonna
do next.
Yep.
You know what I'm saying?
And I just got chills.
Because they model in a way.
Yep, they are.
They model in the way.
And and sometimes we gottareally think about that though.
So take away from this thatdon't dwell on a negative.
Don't dwell on what your parentsdidn't do.
There you go.
(30:43):
Yeah, but make sure youacknowledge what they did do and
what generational curses theybroke.
SPEAKER_02 (30:48):
And maybe that's a conversation you need to have if
your parent is still living.
That might be a goodconversation.
Like, mom, like mom or dad, likewhat was it like?
Yeah, what did you do differentfrom your parents?
Yeah, because my mom because youraised all your kids, girl.
No, that's you did somethingthat your mom didn't do.
(31:12):
She didn't.
That is a my mom raised all herkids.
I know, I know.
What her mom didn't?
You're right.
So shout out to my mom.
Yes, because Lord Jesus, thatwas my mom.
If I if I didn't know, she didbecause I was serious.
SPEAKER_03 (31:32):
That's why it was so funny.
Shout out to my mom.
But shout out to your mombecause she did her big one
without the instruction manual.
You know what I'm saying?
And shout out to my mama becauseshe raised some great kids.
And she did.
And that word of God is in thebelly of my mom.
And she prayed over us everysingle night.
(31:54):
She put that oil on our head inour sleep when we wasn't sure
what we was gonna do for.
SPEAKER_02 (32:00):
My kids are looking at me crazy for doing that now.
I know, right?
I don't care.
Y'all gonna understand later.
Shout out to our parents forinstilling the word of God.
Because one thing we do know isGod in his word, and we don't
play by him.
Yeah.
So shout out to them.
For real.
And sometimes I don't want tohear it at all.
(32:22):
But I also be schooling herbecause I come out with the
Josh's version of the Bible.
Like this is how we're gonnabreak it down.
SPEAKER_03 (32:29):
We're gonna hear her version because I know it's
funny.
SPEAKER_02 (32:31):
Because I'm a I'ma interpret it just how y'all can
understand.
That's what the generationneeds.
That's why Kurt Franklin was sogood.
Exactly, because God was like,hey yo, hey yo, look, because
that's what he said.
Grab that stone.
Grab that stone, that one rightthere, pick it up.
(32:52):
Go cast it, throw it.
But yeah, so that's it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (32:59):
All right, ladies, tell us about what y'all y'all
parents broke or what y'allbreak in.
SPEAKER_02 (33:06):
And uh yeah, we can't wait to hear it.
And don't forget to tell us whatit means and where it came from.
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