Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
The thought of kids
going hungry next month, but we
building a um ballroom for theWhite House, it's just not
making sense to me.
And all to all you people outhere talking about, oh, they
could go get a job, they couldgo get a job.
Let me tell you about the middleclass people who do work and
still need those food stampsbecause they can't afford to
(00:23):
feed their kids.
You get what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
I know it gets heavy
for so many people and they feel
like I don't got nobody.
Like I'm out here by myself.
I don't got a village, I don'tgot you know people who can help
me.
What do you do when you don'thave anybody?
Or at least nobody who can helpthem.
Find a village, create avillage, and create.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (00:43):
The family we grew
up with is so important, right?
But the family we create is somuch more important.
Complete strangers sometimeswill be your biggest support
system.
SPEAKER_00 (00:56):
Woman in Black is
where we put down the cake and
pick up the mic, beingauthentically who we are, where
we are, unmasked, unfiltered,and unapologetic.
SPEAKER_02 (01:08):
How is your your
day, your week, all of that?
Going it, going it.
That's it.
That's all I got for you.
It's going.
It's going.
Life be life in and it be going.
Mm-hmm.
Life in and going.
Like that.
That's it.
So we be carrying a lot of stuffas women.
(01:32):
That's why we're sitting hereunmasked.
In our therapy couch.
On our therapy.
You know, because we be carryinga lot.
What are you currently carrying?
What's the weight that you'recurrently carrying?
It could be positive.
It could be something that'scooling you down.
(01:55):
Like what is it?
Positive weight is good too.
SPEAKER_01 (01:59):
Yeah.
Um I am carrying the weight ofthe kids, obviously.
Um, it's football season.
So although my husband is myhusband, I don't see a lot of
him during football season.
Because when he comes home, he'seating and going to sleep.
You know, the weekends he'swatching film.
(02:21):
So I'm responsible.
I'm so almost solely responsiblefor the house when during
football season.
And the kids try their best.
And so it's like they one seasonwhere they try like they buck
up.
Yeah.
So you know, football season.
Um, and I'm like, you I I I toldhim I said, I think you should
(02:43):
like not coach uh uh in thespring.
Can we we have track off?
No track.
Because track is all Saturdaytoo.
So we'll be like the sameschedule and then track all
Saturday.
But so um that normal stuff, butalso um helping my husband build
(03:05):
out his business, bring it tothe next level, and I got some
uh couple ventures that I'mdoing as well.
Um so that's good weight becauseyou you'll see the fruits of
your labor.
You put in the work and you'llsee the fruits.
Yeah, the heaviest is just beingmom.
And really, I for me that'sheavy because I want to be great
at it.
Like I don't want to be meet amediocre mom.
(03:26):
Like I want my kids to havememories that they they can hold
on to.
And so I I think I put a lot ofpressure on myself to be a good
mom.
SPEAKER_02 (03:37):
Um when you're
already a good freaking mom.
Yeah, like if you don't donothing else for the rest of the
year, your kids gonna havememories to talk about from
2025.
Like, and it's not the memorieswe want them to have aren't
gonna be the memory memoriesthat they remember.
(03:57):
I know, it'd be the dumb stuff.
It's gonna be the dumb stuff.
Like, remember that time mommyparty did the grocery store,
like that.
So it's not well, it's that's asparents, that's what we need to
understand.
It we put so much pressure onourselves because this is what
we want for them, and thenthey're gonna hit us with
remember that time Miss Jocksleyfell down the steps, something
crazy, something wild, like butremember what my kids said about
(04:21):
me.
SPEAKER_01 (04:21):
Oh, yeah.
So I feel like what they doremember doesn't always align
with what I think they're gonnaremember because I think the one
thing that kids want aboveanything else is just time,
yeah.
Like they each want their owntime, yeah.
So even what I did with themcollectively, when I went to DJ
class to paint that pumpkin, hethought that was the grandest
(04:43):
gesture ever in the world.
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
I just you know, it but it's itthose are the things that you'll
reap benefits from for life ifyou know do it right.
I've really been trying to workon myself for a long time.
That's good.
For a very long time.
Every season is something elseI'm realizing I gotta do.
(05:04):
I'm like, oh shoot, and get pastthat.
SPEAKER_02 (05:06):
Because life be life
in.
SPEAKER_01 (05:08):
Yeah, yeah.
But what about you?
What you carrying?
What that weight look like?
SPEAKER_02 (05:14):
Always waiting.
Um, I'm currently battlingsomething within myself, losing
passion for certain things in mylife right now.
So that's really heavy on mybrain, heavy on my heart.
Like, so that's something thatI'm not gonna go too deep in on
here, but it's heavy.
(05:35):
Um because you do stuff, you do,you know, we I I'm I'm so
passionate about everything Ido.
So this area is heavy.
But it might be God, it is Godtelling me it's time to elevate.
It's yeah, mom hood.
Mom hood.
Um I've been thinking a lotlately, like I was looking back
at the Soft Girl era episode andKira said something real strong
(06:02):
that's that that has not left meabout being in survival mode.
We're all so many people are insurvival mode.
That's that's a weight all initself, you know what I mean?
Like, I don't complain a lot.
Um, when I'm venting, I hopethat's not complaining.
I'm just venting about how Ifeel.
I have an experience.
(06:23):
Okay, because I don't want to bea complainer, but you know, the
weight of of doing everythingall the time by yourself, like
that's annoying.
You know what I mean?
Like, I have um one kid about togo to college, got another one
right after him, following upthat wants to go to college.
I got another one who isbattling stuff with like just
(06:48):
having like okay, so I'm gonnabe transparent.
My baby texts my mom and said,my mom, I'm only asking you
because I ain't got no.
If I don't ask you, I don't gotnobody else to ask.
That hurt.
So I'm battling that.
I told you it's always him, it'salways that one.
It's always everybody feel bad.
(07:09):
Yeah, he always makes everybodyfeel bad, but I'm bad, like that
is a heavy weight on me to makesure that I'm always there,
always doing, going above andbeyond.
Because when he says stuff likethat, I'll be like, oh my gosh.
Like so the weight ofeverything, just juggling these
(07:29):
kids, just and again, I willnever discredit my village.
My kids have some great peoplethat come from me, and they have
a few great people that comefrom their other side.
Um, but the weight of all ofthat is just like I'm just
looking for the end, like whenis gonna be lifted off.
(07:52):
So other than that, that's mynot it's not even negative
weight, it's the survivingweight.
Like I'm just out heresurviving.
So that's why I've been tryingto make more time for myself, do
more things that I want to do.
If you don't, if you just carrythat weight and don't try to do
anything for yourself, you'regonna fall.
(08:16):
You're gonna fall and it's gonnahurt.
And thankfully, I'm resilient.
So even when I do fall, I getback up.
But everybody not like me.
You know what I mean?
Everybody not like you.
Like we can get through it.
We don't really be falling.
We might trip.
We might trip, but we don't fallbecause it's not in us to fall.
SPEAKER_01 (08:37):
Because we look at
the world very different.
Yes.
And we have to.
Yeah because people depend onus.
Yes.
Um, and I know it gets I know itgets heavy for so many people.
Like I just feel it like I knowit gets heavy for so many
people, and they feel like Idon't got nobody.
Like I'm out here by myself.
I don't got a village, I don'tgot you know people who can help
(08:58):
me.
What do you do when you don'thave anybody?
Right?
Yeah, what do you do?
Because there's a lot of peoplewho don't have anybody and or at
least nobody who can help them.
You know what I'm saying?
Right.
Y'all got this.
Yep.
Keep being strong, but also finda village, create a village if
you can.
SPEAKER_02 (09:18):
Create because your
village does not the family we
grew up with is so important,right?
But the family we create is somuch more important.
Like a complete strangersometimes will be your your
biggest support system.
Yeah.
Versus the family that you grewup with.
SPEAKER_01 (09:39):
For sure.
SPEAKER_02 (09:40):
So create that
village.
Like, even if your village doesnot have to have my village,
probably got like 40 people,right?
My the the big picture of thevillage, but my main village got
about a good six.
Yeah, there's no number on it.
If you got two people, two goodfriends that y'all all piggyback
(10:02):
off each other, iron sharpsharpens iron.
We're all here for each other tohelp each other lift a little
bit of that weight.
Like, do it, like create thatvillage.
Like, it does not have to be anendless uh number of people on
your village.
SPEAKER_01 (10:16):
Yeah, in your
village, you gotta be able to um
be open to that becausesometimes we get so used to
carrying it all by ourselvesthat we're not open to asking
for help, right?
Um, and I think you know wecause more harm to ourselves
when we don't.
Um we don't ask for help.
But yeah, the weight file up.
SPEAKER_02 (10:36):
Yeah, and then let's
talk literal sense, the weight
of the world right now, becausethe world is crazy, the world is
in shambles right now.
The world, America, we needprayer.
We do, like, what is happening?
(10:57):
The weight of the world is inshambles, like the thought of
I'm just so blessed, right?
So grateful that I'm not waitingfor food stamps and stuff like
that to get by.
But the thought of kids goinghungry next month, but we
building a um ballroom for theWhite House, it's just not
(11:19):
making sense to me.
And all to all you people outhere talking about, oh, they
could go get a job, they couldgo get a job.
Let me tell you about the middleclass people who do work and
still need those food stampsbecause they can't afford to
feed their kids.
You get what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (11:34):
Like, yeah, I'll
bring it a step further.
What people fail to realize alot about some families that are
on uh government assistance.
I'll use Cumberland County as anexample.
There's no trains, buses, ornothing to get them anywhere.
And I mean that with all myheart.
SPEAKER_02 (11:54):
There's buses, but
it ain't taking buses.
SPEAKER_01 (11:57):
You if you're at if
your child gets sick and you
miss one, it's gonna take you anhour for the next one to come
around.
SPEAKER_02 (12:03):
She's so annoying.
SPEAKER_01 (12:04):
But you're gonna be
late.
Yeah.
But no, seriously, there are umrural areas where there used to
be built-up areas where therewere factories and it was
vibrant at a point in time, butbecause of the shift in the
economy and some of these thingsbeing taken away, it's like,
okay, you want we want them tofind a job, but what about the
(12:26):
areas where there are no jobs?
There are areas where therearen't enough jobs for the
amount of people that are thereand moving and uprooting your
family.
Some of us know it's not thateasy.
You're still gonna have to, youstill gotta feed them on your
way, you still need a place tolive, you still need all of
these things.
So it's like a catch 22.
(12:47):
What I would have preferred tosee is, you know, our current
administration talking aboutbringing factories and stuff
back and all that stuff.
How about do it in the reverse?
Bring them back, you know, setpeople up for success.
Yeah, and then if you want tostart phasing people out of this
program, then phase them out,but give them an alternative,
(13:08):
right?
Help, like really help.
And don't come in here under ourpost about well, they've been
helping because they could go toschool or this or that.
Jobs.
There are areas within the USwhere you cannot even, there are
no jobs.
You understand?
No, there are none, no jobs.
There, I don't even know.
Is there even a hospital inBrisbane anymore?
Um, it's the merch, it's anemergency room.
(13:29):
There's no jobs.
SPEAKER_02 (13:31):
It's not a full
hospital, and it's like um the
crisis where they send kids foruh adults and kids for crisis.
So it's just like emergency roomget transferred out.
SPEAKER_01 (13:40):
Yeah, like that's
that's scary to me.
Like, so I I I I look at it alot different because I think
that you know, people feel like,oh, we're gonna solve everything
for this, and they're looking atlife through their lens and
their perspective.
Yes, yeah, but there's so manydifferent situations that's
occurring, and that's only onethat I can speak to because
there are employment deserts,just like they're food deserts.
(14:03):
There's places where you can'teven walk to a grocery store and
stuff like that.
SPEAKER_02 (14:07):
Obviously, there are
really places, especially like
down south.
SPEAKER_01 (14:11):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_02 (14:12):
Oh, certain parts of
Georgia, like stores are like 13
miles away.
SPEAKER_01 (14:17):
Yeah, there's
there's these people like it's
hard.
SPEAKER_02 (14:20):
And then it's just
hard.
And I was I went, um, I waseating lunch one day a couple
weeks ago, and some guys, Idon't know which corporation
they worked for, but they wereeating lunch too.
And I overheard one of themsaying, Um, well, well, let's
just put this like this 60% ofAmerica is living paycheck to
(14:41):
paycheck.
Them people that's livingpaycheck to paycheck, they are a
lot of the times house broken.
So they do need those.
They need regardless, they canbe they're working, but they
still need more because if rentis at an all-time high, rent is
ridiculous.
And with rent, they say in orderto get this two thousand dollar
(15:05):
a month place, we need you tomake three times your income.
If those people made three timestheir income, they won't be
living there, they wouldn't beliving there.
So it's just the weight of theworld, and this is a time where
we need to stick together, helpeach other out, and try to just
lift a little bit of weight off.
SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah, and try to
look at the world through other
people's lenses, especiallythose who are, you know, less
fortunate and who rely oncertain things, ask the hard
questions, like really askyourself those questions or you
know, start a conversation orresearch.
Don't just think, don't justlook at the narrative that
people are spewing to make youbecause a lot of it's
(15:49):
propaganda.
Yep.
Don't look at that.
Like some of us have worked inareas where we see people go
through different things on aroutine basis or lived in those
type of areas, and we're like,oh wow, didn't even realize that
was an issue.
So I I think we just have to bemore educated and be willing and
open to educate ourselves um onwhat's happening in the world.
(16:12):
How do we unload some of this?
Karaoke.
I don't know if I can disagree.
SPEAKER_02 (16:21):
It makes me feel
good.
It makes me feel good music.
That's how I escape.
Music.
SPEAKER_01 (16:27):
Yeah.
Oh girl, so I'm um expanding myvinyl collection.
I know that sounds crazy, but Ihave a record player that Dom
got me like our first Christmastogether.
I opened it, I only bought acouple records for it, but I'm
expanding it because I just needit.
I just want to hear a vinylrecord.
(16:49):
So I ordered um Jackson 5Christmas and Mariah Carey's
Christmas album on vinyl.
I'm gonna be so soup.
I'll let you listen to it when Iget it.
SPEAKER_02 (16:59):
Okay.
Like make like hot chocolate andstuff like that.
SPEAKER_01 (17:02):
Yeah, I just I
should do this video because I
did a hot cocoa.
SPEAKER_02 (17:06):
Can we get a DJ too?
SPEAKER_01 (17:08):
Can we start being
no, uh even though in my past
life I might have been one.
No, for real.
I could see right.
SPEAKER_02 (17:17):
Look at it.
SPEAKER_01 (17:18):
I know because I got
all the stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (17:24):
Yeah, no, that's so
cool.
SPEAKER_01 (17:27):
Yeah, I like that.
SPEAKER_02 (17:28):
That's so cool.
I can't wait to see it.
Yeah, especially me in like mygrandmom and grandpa days.
SPEAKER_01 (17:34):
Yeah, my dad used to
um my dad my dad did anything
involved with music.
He just loved music.
Um, and so it kind of just Iwant I'm I'm in a season where
I'm just trying to slow down,embrace different things about
me that have been sleeping for alittle while.
Yeah, gotcha.
So I'm with you.
He said karaoke.
That's so funny.
Yeah, I just wasn't expectingyou to say karaoke.
SPEAKER_02 (17:55):
Things be things
just happening.
Oh yeah.
Things just be happening.
I don't know why.
Yeah, the weight we carry, youjust gotta unleash.
I'll be sitting here lying if Itold y'all I I had to answer to
un unbagging the weight.
SPEAKER_01 (18:12):
Like, I don't
sometimes I just stop caring.
I and I that might not behealthy.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_02 (18:19):
Did you know that
people who don't care live
longer?
SPEAKER_01 (18:24):
Probably because I
don't be careful sometimes.
I don't know.
Like, and that and I don't betrying to be selfish about it.
I just I know how it feels tocare about everything and
everybody.
SPEAKER_02 (18:34):
So here's the thing
like um y'all be watching the
news all the time and stuff.
I don't me either.
I only know about this stuffgoing on with the food stamps
and stuff because it followedcan I say this?
R.I.P.
Decade Scott.
Did you watch that?
I'm not watching.
Don't watch.
Oh, I'll start telling you aboutit.
Oh my gosh.
(18:55):
So that's how you know thingsjust your algorithm.
It just so that's how I reallyknew about what's going on with
the the nation, the world, andhow we got a new ballroom.
We ain't got no new ballroom,they got a new ballroom, right?
So what?
But yeah, I don't I don't bescared, like I don't be walking
around here scared and living infear.
(19:17):
I just don't.
SPEAKER_01 (19:18):
We gotta we have to
know enough, yeah, to you know,
be on our peace and keep right.
But that's it.
I'm not gonna dig too deep.
SPEAKER_02 (19:25):
I'm not listening to
watch the news anymore, yeah.
And listen, if y'all you gottalive.
So if you gotta make somepayment arrangements or
something, live for real, livebecause just live, like don't
stretch yourself out trying tofollow with what the new what's
(19:45):
on the news and stuff like that.
Live your life, live, take careof your household, live, make
you a few payment arrangementsif you need to go get your nails
done or something.
Do something for yourself.
Like how the way that electricgonna be there, it is it is,
it's gonna be there.
Rob Peter to pay post.
Do what you got.
So many people are living likethat.
Yeah, like I live like thatsometimes, depending on what's
(20:10):
going on in my life.
SPEAKER_01 (20:11):
Like, you know what
might be also a good perspective
on this?
Because I don't I could talkabout this more, but I don't
talk about it a lot.
Um, but having an experienceboth sides, maybe it'd be
helpful.
The world gives this expectationof marriage, like you get
married, you good.
Like that's the end all be all.
(20:31):
Oh, yeah.
Like it just be like, oh, wewhen I get married, everything
gonna be solved, all my problemsgonna be solved.
And then I be like, no, they notactually.
So what you're gonna have is anextra person's feelings, extra
problems, extra problems andtrauma.
Yeah, and you know, it's gonnatake a lot of work to get
through.
(20:52):
But um, I'm just saying thatbecause I know we talk a lot
about our experience, whether itbe what you carry as a single
mom or even what I carried as asingle mom, but I don't really
touch upon the fact that there'ssome married couples, I
shouldn't say married womennecessarily, but married
couples, because somerelationships go through ebbs
and flows.
Like I could think about thetime when um Dom's career came
(21:15):
to an end, and it's like, ohshoot, okay, I gotta pick up
right now.
Like, because it's seasons,okay, okay, I gotta pick up.
And so I think that, andsometimes you think of it that
way, you'd be like, okay, thatshouldn't be a problem.
But when your life goes fromthis to yeah, it's like, oh
shoot, everything changed in aninstant.
SPEAKER_02 (21:35):
That's the part of
the worst, for better or for
worse.
Yeah, and I think when people doget married sometimes in this
generation, right?
They forget about that worstpart.
SPEAKER_01 (21:45):
Oh yeah, they forget
about it because they, you know,
they just think about the rosesand the like, you know, they
look in the social media, yeah.
Social media is like is that whythe divorce rate be stuff?
I think so.
I'm not even gonna let thisconversation go here today.
SPEAKER_02 (22:04):
Don't do it, cuz
because yeah, it'd be them
sassy, the men of sassy.
The women of four they want tobe so strong.
I don't want to be that strong.
I'm the only strong because Igotta be.
Okay, let's throw that outthere.
SPEAKER_01 (22:25):
Right.
Yeah, so that's what I'm tryingto get to say because we gotta
shed light on when it comes tothe marriage part because we we
don't talk about it that often.
And I'm sure there's other womenwho like, girl, I hear right,
yeah.
This over here is a mess too.
(22:46):
It's a lie, and you got enoughof us marry friends and be like,
well, she's y'all in the seasonright now.
For real.
But um, but yeah, and sometimesit's just identity, the weight
of finding a new you, especiallyin like places like marriage or
after having kids.
SPEAKER_02 (23:04):
Well, don't let that
weight carry you, carry it.
SPEAKER_01 (23:11):
I don't say so.
It's like I'ma go to SouthJersey with stick, but most of
the time it's thick, so it don'tmatter.
SPEAKER_02 (23:20):
Don't let the weight
carry you, carry it.
Okay, that's what I'm gonnaleave y'all with.
There you go.
What she said, whatever itmeans, however, you took that,
take it.
SPEAKER_01 (23:30):
Yeah, we all going
through something.
Yes, but you got this.
We're with you.
We're gonna be praying for thiswhole world if you can spare a
coffee.
Yeah, if you can.
I wish we took EVT.
unknown (23:44):
Why?
SPEAKER_02 (23:44):
They ain't got no
more.
The funds is froze, girl.
They didn't froze the people'sfunds up.
The government ain't right rightnow.
We in a shutdown.
SPEAKER_01 (23:53):
They ain't we in the
shut right now.
The crazy part is we in ashutdown, and then the shut one
of the clauses, but why we notopen is because they want to
take the funds.
Right.
So they don't got the funds, andthen if this thing is tied, they
probably still ain't gonna getthe funds.
SPEAKER_02 (24:09):
Exactly.
I seen this lady say thesmartest thing, then I'm gonna
leave y'all.
She said they want to take fromus, let's stop giving to them.
Christmas holiday season isapproaching.
Oh, but let's stop putting thismoney into these stores.
Like the, you know, the likelet's keep it into the small
businesses, and I know that's sohard because everybody loves
Amazon, everybody loves Target,and everybody loves all the
(24:33):
other stores, but she was on tosomething like let's not give
them no money.
This is our money they'replaying with.
SPEAKER_01 (24:38):
Why are we paying
taxes during the government
shutdown?
Because it's a this is a clausein our tax that we don't know,
but I don't remember signing adocument about paying taxes.
Do we have to pay taxes?
Are we okay to pay taxes?
Because I remember so that inthe employment paperwork when we
sign so I don't even mean to befunny, but I'm thinking over
(25:02):
here, like do we have to?
SPEAKER_02 (25:06):
Or I mean we do, but
but why?
Why do we like to this?
Why do we went why we gotta paytaxes if y'all trying to cut
social security?
Y'all trying to cutunemployment.
Like we have a tax pause,forfeit my taxes until the
government opens back up.
That's how I'm no because theyso slick, they'll be done
(25:29):
doubled up on our taxes whenthey reopen.
SPEAKER_01 (25:32):
Yeah, because we
paying their salary and stuff.
They don't want us to take theirsalary, but they sure enough
taking other people's.
SPEAKER_02 (25:39):
God bless America,
yeah, literally, cuz y'all out
here wildin'.
Y'all want to see somethingshake?
He's shaking, he's shaking itup.
SPEAKER_01 (25:51):
It's y'all
president, it's it's y'all
president, right?
Buy us a coffee if you can.
SPEAKER_02 (25:58):
We're about to
water.
SPEAKER_01 (25:59):
I ain't picky right
now.
We shut down.
Right.
We're gonna look back at this infive years.
How many more years he gotoffice?
Three years.
Right.
He what y'all do?
Why y'all vote for somebody whotrying to change the whole
policy for running?
Because I feel like that's whathe's trying to do.
(26:21):
I think there's something.
SPEAKER_02 (26:22):
I know why they
would a lot of them voted for
him, but I ain't getting intopolicy because they ain't want a
black woman, they didn't evenwant a woman, no woman at all.
SPEAKER_01 (26:30):
No, no, because the
woman will fall into DEI for
them.
I don't want no DEI president.
Shut up.
You don't even know what DEI is.
SPEAKER_02 (26:40):
What is what is it?
SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
Y'all don't even
spell it.
SPEAKER_02 (26:44):
I'm so mad that
y'all y'all voted for him.
And you know what?
We're gonna get a lot ofcomments on this one.
And guess what?
We don't care.
And for you people that just belike, um, not another podcast.
Yep, another one, a great one.
Yeah, sick of y'all, but keepcommenting, keep commenting.
We love it.
Oh fart, yo, I can't.
(27:06):
This world crazy, it's it's wedon't even use the R word no
more, right?
Well, y'all is on the spectrum,we is too, but y'all on a
different spectrum.
I'm clearly delete that.
SPEAKER_01 (27:33):
But all right,
y'all.
Have a good night.
SPEAKER_02 (27:37):
We done.