November 21, 2025 • 36 mins
In today’s episode, we get real about gratitude — not the surface-level kind, but the kind that’s forged through survival, motherhood, and faith when everything feels heavy. We talk about friendship that arrives right on time, the power of real mentors, and how choosing kindness (even when you’re hurting) can change everything.
We Open Up About:
- Being thankful for peace of mind & sanity
- Having your whole life packed in a car — and still choosing to rise
- Finding a true village when you least expect it
- Knowing when God is positioning you for the next level
- Why paying it forward matters now, not just during holidays
Quote of the Episode:
“This is my step, not my stop.”
Call to Action:
➡️ Share this episode with someone who needs encouragement
➡️ Message us if you want to anonymously bless a family this season
➡️ Practice a small act of kindness this week — and watch how it shifts your spirit
Follow Us:
IG: @WeAre.WomenInBlack | @DezDoesItAll | @SaySomethin_Josh
FB: @WomenInBlack
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_04 (00:00):
Marry a man who wanna be a man and who go and
look at themselves and do aself-audit and say, I need to do
this, yeah.
I need I need to be better.
And I want to be better.
Not just I need to becausesociety says or this or that.
I want to be a better person, Iwant to be a better son, I want
to be a better husband, I wantto be a better friend.
Like you need people like that.
SPEAKER_01 (00:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (00:21):
Yeah, when it comes to marriage, because you want
somebody who can grow with you.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
It does not hurt to be kind and teach your kids
that.
I notice when I do that, whenI've done that, my kids do it.
Yeah.
So that goes back to teachingyour kids.
Like my kids have no problemwith saying, I appreciate our
friendship.
SPEAKER_04 (00:39):
Yeah, I do.
And I know I don't say enough.
She puts up with me because I'mvery stubborn.
Believe it or not, I sit hereall calm, cool, and collected.
I am stubborn.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Working in the city and seeing so many people
outside of your mind makes youso appreciative, so grateful, so
thankful that you are inside.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04):
Woman in Black is where we put down the cape and
pick up the mic, beingauthentically who we are, where
we are, unmasked, unfiltered,and unapologetic.
SPEAKER_04 (01:16):
All right, ma'am.
How was your day?
How was your week?
How was your everything?
My everything.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
It was good.
Um, it was chilling.
My older kids all ditched me.
Um, we don't really celebrateHalloween.
Never did, but I do love whenthe little kids, I love when
everybody gets dressed upbecause that's something that
keeps people together, keepspeople smiling.
So I love that.
Um, so Jace and I, we all wenttrick-or-treating with uh Dez.
(01:50):
There was like only, these wereall elementary kids, right?
Yeah, they were little.
Fifth grade and under.
Fifth grade and under.
We went from pre-K to fifthgrade.
Lord.
And then towards the end, theygot me.
SPEAKER_04 (02:04):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
They got me to the point of the little kids left
and I was with the olderelementary school kids.
And they got to the housessaying, You want us to uh do a
trick and then get the treat?
Or you want to trick before thetreat?
And all the houses are like,Yeah, go ahead.
(02:26):
And I'm over here, like, no,just take the treat.
But it was a good time.
So I'm chilling.
God is good.
I'm chilling, I'm blessed.
I'm a miracle.
That's right.
Oh, how are you?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_04 (02:40):
I slept most of the day because these kids wore me
out last night.
Josh was sitting there, like, Ishe said, I can't talk right
now.
I'm still recuperating.
SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
She was like everything going on around her,
she like I was overstimulated.
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
She was like 100%.
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
I can't believe my eyes were going.
SPEAKER_03 (03:04):
I don't know what it was a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
It was a lot.
And they thought we were gonnakeep walking.
First of all, we you do you knowhow many houses we would have
hit if they didn't do a trick?
Because they won't be extra.
But next year I'ma just pass itout.
SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
Oh, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Well, how?
You just gonna let Jace go tothe neighbors real quick?
SPEAKER_01 (03:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (03:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:28):
No, I'm gonna drop him off with y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (03:32):
I mean, they would love that.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
Yeah, I'm gonna just drop him off with y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (03:36):
Yeah, because this neighborhood.
I mean, that I do appreciatethat though.
Like, we could just go up andaround and around and be done.
But it was cold last night.
And yeah, I was ready.
DJ was like, only one morehouse, okay?
One more house.
I don't want to do this no more.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
Who even cares about the buckets are filled?
We're done.
We did our job.
Yep.
But yeah.
We are ending Halloween.
We are move.
Well, we've been in the fallseason, right?
Yeah.
But now this is usually when wetake the time for Thanksgiving.
Like, what are what are yougrateful for?
I appreciate our friendship.
SPEAKER_04 (04:14):
Yeah, I do.
And I know I don't say itenough.
She puts up with me because I'mvery stubborn.
Believe it or not, I sit hereall calm, cool, and collected.
I am stubborn.
And she be putting that out.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Because one thing I'm gonna do is say something.
SPEAKER_04 (04:30):
And I be like, no, because I don't I don't want to.
But you know, deep down insideyou do.
Like dad, like, so what?
I'm not doing it.
It'd be a hard no for me.
No.
And my sisters, they just goalong with me.
They check me.
Don't give me wrong.
They check me, but they will goalong with me because some parts
(04:51):
of our day could be the same.
Like, yeah, because we don't gotto.
But I'll be like, yeah, right,because we don't got to.
And Joshua looking at me like,but you should.
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
You don't gotta do nothing.
SPEAKER_04 (05:03):
Like that's the type of uh exchange we'll have.
So I'm thankful for ourfriendship.
I have a sister friend.
Um, all the time I've been downhere for five years and I didn't
have a close friendship.
But you know, it's like I metyou, we started like really
chilling and started liking eachother.
(05:24):
It was a slow burn for us.
Like we took a little time, Iguess.
But then when it hit, it likewhen it's like click, click,
click, click, click, poop.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Yeah, because yeah, it didn't happen like just like
that.
Yeah, because I'm I'm a niceperson, but I ain't about to be
trying to get close to people.
SPEAKER_04 (05:40):
Yeah, and I speak to everybody.
I be like, hi, didn't I sit nextto me?
I didn't want to talk about you.
Cause I like I said, I'm toonice.
I be talking, yeah, she did I'mtoo nice.
I be talking to everybody, but Italk to people, but I don't like
befriend people.
She too nice.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
Like she might oh yeah, because I'm sitting over
here, y'all sitting over here,and I am just the person like
hi, keep it moving.
That's what she does.
But no, this one, yeah.
I'm like, so how was she gonnatalk?
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
Yeah, and she be like, they're not our friends.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
No, no, the only time I mix and I'm like, oh,
let's do this.
Because in my mind, I'm like,oh, all my friends, we can do
this together, but they're myfriends.
But this one, oh yeah, becauseI'm sitting over here.
Oh, I bought her son a piece ofthis because he was sitting
right here too.
Girl, if you don't sit yourjolly behind down somewhere, but
(06:38):
it's the season, it ain'tChristmas yet.
Go sit down somewhere and sayingand I'll be mad at Naomi and
Nia.
SPEAKER_04 (06:44):
And I'll be I'll be a part of the problem.
My girls act just like me.
Nia probably got a little morerestraint because she be like,
but Naomi don't have norestraint.
She invites everybody,everywhere, everything.
Lord have mercy.
What am I creating?
But yes, thankful for ourfriendship because that came at
a time where I really neededfriendship, but I didn't know
(07:06):
how to express it.
I don't, I'm very selective withmy who I call friends.
Um, my husband's like, I don'tthink you click with that bird,
I don't think that's gonna work,making it worse.
And then when he was like, he'slike, the only person I can
really see you being friendswith is Josh.
(07:27):
And he called it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
He called it, he did, he put it together with his
big old head.
SPEAKER_04 (07:32):
Big old head.
He called it, but um, and thenmy sister moved down here right
at like as we was getting toknow each other.
It just worked out, it justworked out, but um, thankful for
you know my family.
I have such a close-knitsibling, like sibling
relationships, and I don'talways realize it until I have
(07:54):
conversations with people.
But I speak to at least one ofmy siblings, at least two of my
siblings every week.
I'm talking to somebody.
I'm thankful for the calm thatum I'm getting to and just an
opportunity to settle in to ummy womanhood in another level.
(08:15):
Because I need it.
Like my nervous system neededthis.
So I'm thankful.
SPEAKER_05 (08:21):
Thankful for my thankful.
SPEAKER_04 (08:29):
Yeah, I am.
He is a piece of work.
Me and my husband's just theopposite.
Just put it that way.
That's the easiest way to sayit.
But um, I love him.
Um, and I appreciate him for alleven, you know, we don't always
get it right, but every seasonhe's like, okay, I want to be a
better man.
And he reevaluates himself.
(08:51):
Yeah, my mom told me when I gotmarried, she was like, it's not
you're not gonna have perfectseasons.
She said, But you want to marrya man who wants to be a man and
who go and look at themselvesand do a self-audit and say, I
need to do this, I gotta bebetter.
Yeah, I need I need to bebetter.
And I want to be better.
Not just I need to becausesociety says or this or that, I
want to be a better person, Iwant to be a better son, I want
(09:13):
to be a better husband, I wantto be a better friend.
Like you need people like that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (09:18):
Yeah, when it comes to marriage, because you want
somebody who's gonna grow withyou.
Yeah, and so when my my mommentioned that, and we when we
have our conversations aboutmarriage, growing together.
I like what I hear and stuff,and you gotta do that, and our
marriage hasn't been perfect,you know.
We have our ups and downs, butGod just we know we're supposed
to be together, we know we'resupposed to be together, and um,
(09:43):
but God has given given us graceto tolerate one another.
But um, yeah, I'm just reallyI'm just thankful for my sanity.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
Peace of mind is something that people take so
lightly because working in thecity and seeing so many people
outside of their mind makes youso appreciative, so grateful, so
thankful that you are inside ofit.
(10:16):
Like my first experience withsomeone outside of their mind, I
was I was coming down into thetrain station, and this guy was
trying to use the bathroom whilewe were walking in like on the
(10:36):
stairs, in the corner of thestairs, but he kept waiting.
So I was I'm looking like I'mstill new to the city at this
point.
So what do I do?
He's gonna say, Come on, go! Iwas interrupting him.
I am cracking though.
I was like, all I could do inthat moment was say, thank you,
God.
Like, take the wheel, thank you.
(10:57):
And I be pleading the blood ofJesus so much, because don't
play with me and don't play withJesus.
That's what this lady I befollowing.
Say, don't play with Jesus, shedon't play with Jesus.
I don't play about Jesus and Idon't play play about his blood
that I be pleading over myself,especially in that city.
I know, because Lord, but no,I'm so grateful for peace of
(11:22):
mind, sanity, my family, ourfriendship, um, especially my
kids and my village.
Like, let me tell y'all I'mgoing, I don't, I'm not like a
real mushy person.
It gotta be something that'sgonna make me you know
emotional.
But when I tell you my village,it ain't no village like the one
(11:43):
I got.
Like, ain't no village like theone I got.
When I tell you, I now I can getemotional from my mom, from my
brothers, from my my aunts, myfriends, my co-workers, like
just there's no village like theone I got.
(12:04):
Um God knew beforehand that Iwas gonna be in survival mode as
a mom.
And he did his big one.
Like, y'all could go get avillage all y'all want, but stay
away from mine because theymine.
But he did his big one.
Like, my kids don't missanything.
Not to say that we rely on myvillage for everything, but it's
(12:28):
the thought of we could just bechilling or nothing's going on,
haven't talked to anyone.
Someone will pick up that phone,call, text, y'all okay over
there?
I was thinking about Jace out,he wanna do this or duty, Tyler,
Jalen.
Like, somebody in my village isalways right there.
Like, without me asking foranything, especially my one
(12:51):
aunt, she just be like, Oh, I'lldo this.
Like, it's just like because mymom always says, We see what you
do, we see you doing what you'resupposed to do, going above and
beyond.
So we we're not obligated tohelp you, but we got your back.
And I really I'm so grateful inthis season in my life, and the
(13:14):
next season of my life, I'mgonna be forever grateful for my
village.
Like, I'm so grateful.
Like, even Big Head Boo Boo.
Like, that's my dog.
Like, I'm so I'm just grateful,you know what I mean?
I'm just forever grateful.
I'm grateful that in a timewhere people don't have any
(13:35):
money to go get food, that uh II can afford to go get me and my
kids some food or help somebodyelse if needed.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm just grateful, like I'mjust grateful because what was
sent to kill, shill, anddestroy, what was sent to have
(13:57):
me go crazy, none of that touch.
So I'm just I'm telling you,like, some days all I do is just
say thank you, God.
Like that's just the season ofmy life I'm in right now.
And every day is not perfect,but I just be so if y'all knew
(14:17):
everything I've been through,y'all would be up here just as
grateful, thanking God, shoutingon this couch, everything.
Like, I'm forever gratefulbecause life be life.
SPEAKER_04 (14:29):
That's all I was about to say.
Like, um, I wasn't always in aseason where I could be the
lender and not the borrower.
You know, as an adult, yes,because when I tell you my mom's
goal was to break generationalcurses, that's what she was
really working hard for.
But you know, as someone, youknow, what we're going through
in this environment, my momalways was a worker.
(14:51):
And um I I I feel super blessedthat she gave us that mentality
to that figure it out type ofmentality.
Even when she didn't have, likeshe had started uh a woman's
group called Women in Need whenwe was growing up.
And she would go to health fairsand everything, give out
(15:11):
information for women to findshelters and food and all of
that.
And nobody knew there was apoint where we was in one.
We was in shelter, but we and wedidn't have food, and we was
going to food banks everySaturday and all this stuff.
And my mom, even in that, shegoes, she's trying to help other
people.
As soon as she finds somethingout, she she'll go there, she'll
(15:31):
be like, Oh, can we havebrochures?
I like to let women know what'sgoing on and what they like the
resources they have, and she'llset up shop, and that's what she
did.
And I I'm because my mom's sucha private person.
Sorry, mom, for putting yourbusiness out there.
And my story too, I love you.
But um, be a private person.
I don't know that some peopleeven was aware that she had this
(15:54):
nonprofit, and then as an adult,like my goal was to take what my
mom did and bring it to the nextlevel through women who do it
all, and just giving them thesupport and the resources and
everything, whether it becareer, business, or home, and
the encouragement to go to thenext level.
Um, because there was times as asingle mom where I didn't have a
(16:16):
place to go.
Like, you know, I always had ajob, but there was a time where
I'm like, dang, I got nowhere tolive.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
And I had two kids at the time.
Or I don't got nothing to eat.
SPEAKER_04 (16:26):
Yo, been there.
So when I say I'm thankful, I'msuper thankful.
Like I practice gratitudebecause I know how it is to have
your whole house packed up inyour car and like I don't know
what to do, but I'ma just keepgoing.
I'ma keep going.
And when I say, I ain't gonnacry, when I say God, it was more
(16:49):
than my faith because faithwithout works is dead, but I
knew what God put in me, and Irefuse to have anybody else tell
me who I am when God alreadytold me who I am.
So when times got hard, I stayedthe course, put one foot in
front of the other, and I said,I'm gonna figure this out.
I'll fall on my face and pray,I'll follow my face and cry,
(17:11):
I'll follow my face, get thoseemotions out.
I said, God, give me the plan,give me the strategy, give me
wisdom to get to this nextlevel.
And every time he showed up,every time he showed up, and I'm
super thankful for that.
And I'm glad that I wasobedient, obedient when he told
me to put$10 in somebody'spocket, obedient when he said
put a hundred, a thousand in thein the and it goes up.
(17:33):
When he tells me, I'm I'm gonnaact on it.
Because first of all, the thefinances I gain from being
obedient, they not even minebecause he knew I'm gonna do he
know I'm gonna do right by hismoney.
He said, I'm gonna give it toher because she's gonna do right
by it.
He understands um what it whatit means to sow.
You know what I'm saying?
And so like I I'm thankful thatI I you know how we talk about
(17:58):
the generational cursessometimes.
Thankful for the generation ofgenerational blessing and call.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (18:04):
Because I seen my mom do it.
You know what I'm saying?
I seen her do it, and I seenwhere God brought her.
And so I seen a formula and andI applied it to my life as well.
And uh so gratitude's big.
I look at my home and I'm like,God, thank you.
Because I never imagined this.
(18:25):
I was okay, oh my god, just giveme somewhere to live.
Like, not trying to be funny.
No, but seriously, but yeah,like I needed that.
Like a part of my story, there'sso much, but when I was going
through a transition where Ididn't have a place to live, all
my stuff is in my car, and I hadto, you know, which it was me
(18:48):
and Tristan at the time I waspregnant.
It's a tough story to talkabout, but I had to sleep at my
job.
Can I sleep at my job, y'all?
And I ain't miss a beat.
I didn't think, I I told myself,I said, listen, you ain't gonna
think about where you are.
You gonna keep, you're gonna getup every day, you're gonna get
(19:09):
this done.
I will work seven, six in themorning, actually, to eleven at
night.
It'd be an empty room.
I would go sleep, wake up again,seven, seven in the morning or
six in the morning to eleven atnight, go sleep.
And I was a supervisor, but atthat time, supervisor, I was
making like$17 an hour.
I needed a two-bedroom apartmentin New Jersey.
(19:31):
What two-bedroom apartment?
SPEAKER_01 (19:33):
New Jersey at that.
SPEAKER_04 (19:34):
Yeah, I had to get, I had to stay in somebody's
attic right after that.
So when I got, I I took whateverGod gave me, uh, uh attic.
I was embarrassed.
I said, Ain't nobody come overhere.
And here my friends come, notcaring a bit, up the nurse
stairs.
What you need?
You need help break this up.
If my sister came over there andcleaned up and put stuff down,
(19:55):
all that stuff.
I said, I had your mindset.
This is my step, not my stop.
You know what I'm saying?
And so I was like, all right, wegot about a year at most.
How much money can I save inthis year?
What can I do?
Like, I'll put my budgettogether.
Cool.
Something happened in the city,and God expedited that because I
(20:18):
had to get the heck up out ofit.
SPEAKER_01 (20:19):
Because he can do that.
So while we be planning how whatwe need, God be like, I love her
ambition.
I love that she got this plannedout, but watch what I do for
her.
SPEAKER_04 (20:32):
But it came at a time where I was scared for my
life, I was scared for our life.
I said, I'm not staying anotherday in this town, in this city.
God help me get the heck up outof here.
And I did that, and I've been onmy own since I was 18.
I had my own apartment andstuff, so that little phase, I
(20:54):
just knew that I was gonna getthrough it.
Yeah, thankful that, like again,when you in it, sometimes you
don't realize it.
Like when I was talking tosomebody and they was talking
about being homeless, I'm like,dang, was, but I didn't label
myself as that at the time.
I just was in between houses,right?
SPEAKER_01 (21:11):
Exactly.
But when you sit back and you'relike, dang, I told you a couple
weeks ago, recently, it startedlike a couple weeks ago.
I just been having flashbacks toeverything I've been through.
And I thank God for that.
Yeah, because I never want to bethat person who forgets.
Like, I don't want to keepliving in it and thinking about
it, but I don't want to be thatlady that forgot where she came
(21:32):
from.
Right.
Nope.
Yeah, not at all.
So yeah.
That about it there though.
Listen, you know what?
I also thank God for where I am,right?
I thank God for where I used tobe, and I thank God for where
he's about to take me.
Y'all can say this, right?
And everybody be like, you know,next year I'm gonna do this.
(21:52):
But when I tell y'all 2026 aboutto be it for me, 2026 is about
to be lit.
That's what it's about to be it.
It is about to be lit.
So I thank God in advance forwhere we're about to go.
I thank him.
I thank him for where I am now,and I thank him for where how
far he has brought me.
Like, period.
(22:12):
Yep.
Yeah, yep.
I I'm just listening we live ina world where anything could go
left immediately, and I justthank God for staying afloat.
Yes, God.
I'm just so thankful,appreciative.
And I also want to um showappreciation to mentors because
(22:34):
you guys don't know howimportant it is.
Um and sometimes your menteesmight not always express how
important you are to them, butto the mentors that do it from
just because God placed it onyour heart, it's your purpose,
it's your passion.
We think we are thankful for youbecause each one of my boys are
(22:56):
have been blessed with a mentor.
Um you know what I mean?
So that's big to me.
Like that's like a huge thingfor me.
So I want to take to the timeout and just be thankful for the
mentors.
Yes, they're a part of myvillage, but they need that
acknowledgement.
SPEAKER_04 (23:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (23:13):
Um, those big brothers, those like uncles, or
you know what I mean?
Like, I thank God for y'all.
I really do.
Like, y'all are important.
Keep doing y'all things.
SPEAKER_04 (23:24):
And everybody, it, you know, seasons, right?
And when you position yourself,God will send you um the right
people, uh, whether it's foryour children or for yourself,
right?
Like, um, I'm big on mentorship.
Um, I actually taught a courseon mentorship in corporate,
yeah.
Because it's big.
I started a mentorship programfor um black women and um
(23:46):
clinical research.
Um with one I I didn't do it bymyself.
You know I'm always gonnaacknowledge people um with our
our employee resources.
Um, but that was major to mebecause I I led the effort um to
keep it going and to just putpeople in position.
But for me, uh, I didn't have alot of black women that were
(24:10):
mentors.
There was there's like oneperson and God blessed her to
pour on me when I needed it.
Don't get me wrong.
Um, but like consistent mentor.
There's actually this Jewishguy.
SPEAKER_05 (24:24):
Jeff.
SPEAKER_04 (24:25):
Um and his wife are a blessing.
They continue to speak life intome.
Um, and from a business angleand just exposure to things I
just wouldn't have otherwiseknown.
Right.
Like he seen my business mind,my entrepreneurship mind, and
he's like, yo, like he ain't sayyo, but he's like, You got
(24:47):
something so special becauseI'll go in those rooms and be
like, why don't you guys dothis, did, did, did, that, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
When I tapped in to that again,yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, mentorship isimportant because God sometimes
allows what they go through tobe your lesson and be your
blessing.
SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (25:08):
You know, your mentor, what your mentor went
through, will be your lesson andyour blessing.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
What's your Thanksgiving tradition?
Do you sit around the table andwe all say what we are thankful
for?
Because we don't.
We be all over the place.
Just trying to eat.
Just eat.
My mom gotta say this longbehind prayer.
Yeah.
Every I don't it don't evengotta be Thanksgiving.
She's gonna say the longestgrace every single time.
(25:34):
We'd be like, wrap it up, wrapit up, because she's gonna say
the longest prayer.
But what do you guys do?
It's a Thanksgiving tradition.
Um remember if you are one ofthose people out here that does
not have the huge family, thatfamily you create, whether those
(25:58):
it's those two friends overthere that you have created a
family with, they are important.
Remember to spend time thisholiday season with those who
show up for you, who reciprocatethe same love for you as you do
them, and those who you do notwho do not make you feel
(26:20):
uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_04 (26:21):
Yeah, and send thank you messages, thank you texts.
You don't even gotta go all out.
One year God had me in a spacewhere I sent a thank you
message, like a long thank youmessage to all my aunts and my
siblings, specific to whatthey've done for me in my life.
Yeah, the way they were so happyto be acknowledged.
(26:42):
Yeah, it really, I was like, oh,I'm like, well, thank God for my
video.
You never know what they need.
SPEAKER_01 (26:47):
Yeah, that means a lot.
So get your get a get yourfamily together, whether it's
the family you were born with,the family you created, um, and
enjoy this holiday season.
We all have something to bethankful for.
And you know what?
Pay something forward.
Let's do that, let's challengeeach other to pay something
forward because it's a lot ofkids out here.
(27:07):
Yeah, there's pantries open,right?
Yo, I'm stuck on this, and y'allgonna keep hearing me talk about
this until they give them peopletheir food stamps.
Okay, like for real.
Like, seriously, let's pay itforward, let's donate to a
family.
Like, let's do it now.
Like, let's not wait tillChristmas time.
If you want to send something tous and we donate, we find a
(27:28):
family in need, we can do that.
SPEAKER_04 (27:30):
Yes, because one thing about um not to put it out
there, but women who do it all.
Thanksgiving, Christmas,Mother's Day.
We always find somebody, andmaybe that's why I did what I
did this morning.
What did you just say?
Women who do it all.
My business.
Women who do what?
Women who do it all.
What business?
(27:51):
Okay, and it's like okay, solisten, I'm a serial
entrepreneur because one thingI'm gonna do is make a business
out of something I enjoy.
Don't bear no mind, get to it.
Um, but yeah, yeah.
We need to do that uh thatTikTok are real life because my
friend, and you better let youbetter let it do that.
(28:14):
Women who do it all, I'm gettingit back up and running.
Um, I started it in 2020 and wehave a big Facebook presence
where my goal is just toencourage women who are doing it
all.
You know, I'm not trying topromote that hustle lifestyle,
but if you have to do it, let'sget together and get behind each
(28:35):
other and do it, and let'ssupport one another um what and
whatever level they are in.
But within our group, we wouldhave raffles.
Um, my girl Mo, she would uh doour engagement and um pick uh
raffle winner.
And we have during the pandemic,because of something similar to
this, where some people weren'tgetting things, so we donated
(28:56):
face masks, we donated, um, weblessed like five families with
$500.
But those are the monetarythings.
Yes, those are fun, those areexciting things, but we were
teaching people how to get jobs,right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:09):
We were teaching people how to open up.
That sticks, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (29:13):
We were giving them the playbook, the downloads and
all that, the challenges.
Like, how do you get out of anegative mindset and negative
way of thinking?
Let's do a seven-day challengetogether.
So, those are the type of thingsjust creating community where
women understand that there'sother people out here like you
in whatever phase you're in, andthere's challenges or
communities that could help youpush through it and information
(29:35):
you can receive.
So I'm always for that.
And um had to take a littlebreak to kind of get my own home
in order.
Um, but I'm back at it and I'msuper excited about what this is
gonna grow into.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
If you don't know a family or you want to be
anonymous, send us a message.
Head forward this year, guys.
And not let's not just wait tillChristmas time like that.
Yeah, let's just do it now.
And people are hungry now.
People need them.
SPEAKER_04 (30:03):
Exactly.
I'm oh I'm I'm okay with tellingour story and sharing and stuff,
but everything doesn't have tobe public.
Like this is the first time I'mtelling people what we did and
Women Who Do It All, other thanthe people who was in there
experiencing it.
Right.
You know, because I'm like, thisis my trial, this is my
community, this is my village.
Like, I don't gotta telleverybody what we're doing,
right?
(30:23):
And so, and so if you just wantto be a secret blesser, I don't
care if you had a Dunker Donutsand you're paying it for, or you
see somebody at the register andyou pay for their stuff, you
never know who the people arewho are in need.
Like, sometimes we try to guess,but it could be a next door
neighbor.
They probably look like they gotit all together.
Because one thing my mom did wasmake sure our hair was done and
(30:44):
we had clean clothes on.
People ain't know we werestruggling, okay?
But do what God tells you to do.
Be obedient to what God told youto do and who he told you to
bless.
Because even if they don't needit, let them know I'm I want to
pay it forward.
And maybe they take on thatmindset because if they don't
need it, maybe they'll pay itforward to a family who does.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
And it doesn't always have to be financial,
right?
Yeah.
Um, let's stop walking aroundwith these mean mugging faces
on.
It's okay to smile at people andhold a door for them and ask
people how they're doing today.
You know, because honestly,somebody battling with
depression with a whole bunch ofmoney, they don't need that
(31:22):
money.
Right.
They just need they sometimesthey just need to hear, have a
good day, have a blessed day.
Or your hair is so pretty.
I love you.
You look so beautiful.
Like, let's just throw it, let'sjust piggyback off each other
with these acts of kindness.
It does not hurt to be kind.
And teach your kids that becauseteach your kids to be kind.
SPEAKER_04 (31:45):
One day one of our neighbors had a beautiful dress.
I don't know where she wasgoing.
Ne was like, oh, her dress is sopretty.
I said, let her know that.
I think she would appreciatethat.
Yes.
And so she said, Your dress isso nice.
SPEAKER_01 (31:55):
You look good.
I like that.
I don't care.
I don't care where we are.
If I think you look, I think youwearing that, or I think
special, listen, or y'all couldcall me what y'all want.
If somebody smelled good, I'mlike, you smell good.
I was walking down Broad Streetone day, and this lady smelled
so good.
And she was like, Oh, let meshow you what I got on.
(32:16):
And it was this like um Muslimlike she was like, That's what I
got.
I was like, girl, that smelledgood, and that matches your your
um chemical girl, it's it's foryou.
She was like, Thank you, girl.
Like she was hype.
SPEAKER_04 (32:33):
You know what she walked by this because of this?
Uh-huh.
Because I said that.
And she was like, Well, let metell you how to get my phone and
down to my phone.
Cause I'm like, what is that?
SPEAKER_02 (32:43):
I'm even gonna say it.
Why you smell so good, girl?
SPEAKER_01 (32:45):
Yeah, so like it's okay to acknowledge people and
let them know.
And I I I noticed when I dothat, when I've done that, my
kids do it.
Yeah.
So that goes back to teachingyour kids.
Like, my kids have no problemwith saying, that's a nice
shirt.
Yeah.
That man got a nice shape upover there.
(33:06):
I wonder who cut his hair.
Like, be human.
Exactly.
It's okay to be human.
And it's I think, all right, I'mgonna leave y'all with this.
I'm thankful that I don't have agatekeeping spirit because I
could give you the formula, butthat don't mean you gonna write
(33:28):
it out how I do.
That don't mean you're gonna mixit just like you can't do it
just like me.
Yeah, but I don't have togatekeep it.
I wanna see everybody win.
So I'm thankful not to have thatkind of spirit.
Like, I don't gatekeep, like I'mthe type of person they be like,
your jacket is cute.
Yeah, girl, because I got thisfrom uh Target like four years
(33:49):
ago and it was only$17.
You think they got one now?
I don't know, but you can gocheck.
Go look online.
That's how I'll be yes, likeit's nothing wrong with helping
people.
Like, it's really we all needsomebody.
So in this holiday season, let'sjust not even talk about the
holidays, right?
Let's just go into beingthankful.
(34:10):
Let's be in a season ofThanksgiving.
Because we really are.
So in this season, likeeverybody show gratitude,
appreciate one another, helpsomebody.
We we are all in need in someway, shape, or form right now,
right?
And that's just what it is.
We're in need of something,whether it's a coffee, a bottle
of water, the treadmill at thegym.
(34:32):
We all in need of something.
So help each other.
It ain't gonna hurt you.
I drink Waikiki water.
That blue bottle, it's wellwater.
I used to drink well watergrowing up because we ain't we I
(34:54):
that's what all we that's whatwe had.
That's what we had growing up, awell.
Yeah.
So that's how that's anotherreason.
That's another way for you todecipher, First then, from where
I grew up.
We have wells.
SPEAKER_04 (35:06):
All right, it had city water.
We yes, because I had a well andwe had to put we had to put the
bucket down and pump that down.
SPEAKER_01 (35:13):
Oh, no, we don't gotta do that.
It's connected to the house.
SPEAKER_04 (35:17):
Oh no, we didn't have that when where my mom
lived before we moved to the uhcity, like where I lived before
we moved to the city.
We had like a legit well we hadto put the bucket down.
So if our water, because it wassometimes our water was shut
off.
My mom lost her her mom prettyyoung, and all three sisters
were staying in the house.
(35:38):
The water got shut off, it gotshut off.
We had to go put the water down.
Well, get the well water, put itin tub, pour it, warm it up
first on the stove, and thenpour it inside the tape baths.
Life was whole.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Yeah, well, that happens with us.
That would happen with us if theum hot water tank went or the
well went bad.
We would have to get some water,boil it, like yeah, so yeah,
drinking water and all that,yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (36:00):
But yeah, but that's crazy.
Okay, wow.
Look at that.
We just learned something else.
All right, y'all.
We're gonna let you go.
SPEAKER_01 (36:07):
Have a good Friday.
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
Have a good one.
SPEAKER_01 (36:11):
Bye.
Marry a man who wanna be a man and who go and
look at themselves and do aself-audit and say, I need to do
this, yeah.
I need I need to be better.
And I want to be better.
Not just I need to becausesociety says or this or that.
I want to be a better person, Iwant to be a better son, I want
to be a better husband, I wantto be a better friend.
Like you need people like that.
SPEAKER_01 (00:20):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (00:21):
Yeah, when it comes to marriage, because you want
somebody who can grow with you.
SPEAKER_01 (00:24):
It does not hurt to be kind and teach your kids
that.
I notice when I do that, whenI've done that, my kids do it.
Yeah.
So that goes back to teachingyour kids.
Like my kids have no problemwith saying, I appreciate our
friendship.
SPEAKER_04 (00:39):
Yeah, I do.
And I know I don't say enough.
She puts up with me because I'mvery stubborn.
Believe it or not, I sit hereall calm, cool, and collected.
I am stubborn.
SPEAKER_01 (00:48):
Working in the city and seeing so many people
outside of your mind makes youso appreciative, so grateful, so
thankful that you are inside.
SPEAKER_02 (01:04):
Woman in Black is where we put down the cape and
pick up the mic, beingauthentically who we are, where
we are, unmasked, unfiltered,and unapologetic.
SPEAKER_04 (01:16):
All right, ma'am.
How was your day?
How was your week?
How was your everything?
My everything.
SPEAKER_01 (01:26):
It was good.
Um, it was chilling.
My older kids all ditched me.
Um, we don't really celebrateHalloween.
Never did, but I do love whenthe little kids, I love when
everybody gets dressed upbecause that's something that
keeps people together, keepspeople smiling.
So I love that.
Um, so Jace and I, we all wenttrick-or-treating with uh Dez.
(01:50):
There was like only, these wereall elementary kids, right?
Yeah, they were little.
Fifth grade and under.
Fifth grade and under.
We went from pre-K to fifthgrade.
Lord.
And then towards the end, theygot me.
SPEAKER_04 (02:04):
Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (02:05):
They got me to the point of the little kids left
and I was with the olderelementary school kids.
And they got to the housessaying, You want us to uh do a
trick and then get the treat?
Or you want to trick before thetreat?
And all the houses are like,Yeah, go ahead.
(02:26):
And I'm over here, like, no,just take the treat.
But it was a good time.
So I'm chilling.
God is good.
I'm chilling, I'm blessed.
I'm a miracle.
That's right.
Oh, how are you?
I'm good.
SPEAKER_04 (02:40):
I slept most of the day because these kids wore me
out last night.
Josh was sitting there, like, Ishe said, I can't talk right
now.
I'm still recuperating.
SPEAKER_01 (02:52):
She was like everything going on around her,
she like I was overstimulated.
SPEAKER_03 (03:01):
She was like 100%.
SPEAKER_01 (03:02):
I can't believe my eyes were going.
SPEAKER_03 (03:04):
I don't know what it was a lot.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
It was a lot.
And they thought we were gonnakeep walking.
First of all, we you do you knowhow many houses we would have
hit if they didn't do a trick?
Because they won't be extra.
But next year I'ma just pass itout.
SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
Oh, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Well, how?
You just gonna let Jace go tothe neighbors real quick?
SPEAKER_01 (03:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (03:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (03:28):
No, I'm gonna drop him off with y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (03:32):
I mean, they would love that.
SPEAKER_01 (03:34):
Yeah, I'm gonna just drop him off with y'all.
SPEAKER_04 (03:36):
Yeah, because this neighborhood.
I mean, that I do appreciatethat though.
Like, we could just go up andaround and around and be done.
But it was cold last night.
And yeah, I was ready.
DJ was like, only one morehouse, okay?
One more house.
I don't want to do this no more.
SPEAKER_01 (03:53):
Who even cares about the buckets are filled?
We're done.
We did our job.
Yep.
But yeah.
We are ending Halloween.
We are move.
Well, we've been in the fallseason, right?
Yeah.
But now this is usually when wetake the time for Thanksgiving.
Like, what are what are yougrateful for?
I appreciate our friendship.
SPEAKER_04 (04:14):
Yeah, I do.
And I know I don't say itenough.
She puts up with me because I'mvery stubborn.
Believe it or not, I sit hereall calm, cool, and collected.
I am stubborn.
And she be putting that out.
SPEAKER_01 (04:27):
Because one thing I'm gonna do is say something.
SPEAKER_04 (04:30):
And I be like, no, because I don't I don't want to.
But you know, deep down insideyou do.
Like dad, like, so what?
I'm not doing it.
It'd be a hard no for me.
No.
And my sisters, they just goalong with me.
They check me.
Don't give me wrong.
They check me, but they will goalong with me because some parts
(04:51):
of our day could be the same.
Like, yeah, because we don't gotto.
But I'll be like, yeah, right,because we don't got to.
And Joshua looking at me like,but you should.
SPEAKER_01 (05:00):
You don't gotta do nothing.
SPEAKER_04 (05:03):
Like that's the type of uh exchange we'll have.
So I'm thankful for ourfriendship.
I have a sister friend.
Um, all the time I've been downhere for five years and I didn't
have a close friendship.
But you know, it's like I metyou, we started like really
chilling and started liking eachother.
(05:24):
It was a slow burn for us.
Like we took a little time, Iguess.
But then when it hit, it likewhen it's like click, click,
click, click, click, poop.
SPEAKER_01 (05:31):
Yeah, because yeah, it didn't happen like just like
that.
Yeah, because I'm I'm a niceperson, but I ain't about to be
trying to get close to people.
SPEAKER_04 (05:40):
Yeah, and I speak to everybody.
I be like, hi, didn't I sit nextto me?
I didn't want to talk about you.
Cause I like I said, I'm toonice.
I be talking, yeah, she did I'mtoo nice.
I be talking to everybody, but Italk to people, but I don't like
befriend people.
She too nice.
SPEAKER_01 (05:57):
Like she might oh yeah, because I'm sitting over
here, y'all sitting over here,and I am just the person like
hi, keep it moving.
That's what she does.
But no, this one, yeah.
I'm like, so how was she gonnatalk?
SPEAKER_04 (06:10):
Yeah, and she be like, they're not our friends.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
No, no, the only time I mix and I'm like, oh,
let's do this.
Because in my mind, I'm like,oh, all my friends, we can do
this together, but they're myfriends.
But this one, oh yeah, becauseI'm sitting over here.
Oh, I bought her son a piece ofthis because he was sitting
right here too.
Girl, if you don't sit yourjolly behind down somewhere, but
(06:38):
it's the season, it ain'tChristmas yet.
Go sit down somewhere and sayingand I'll be mad at Naomi and
Nia.
SPEAKER_04 (06:44):
And I'll be I'll be a part of the problem.
My girls act just like me.
Nia probably got a little morerestraint because she be like,
but Naomi don't have norestraint.
She invites everybody,everywhere, everything.
Lord have mercy.
What am I creating?
But yes, thankful for ourfriendship because that came at
a time where I really neededfriendship, but I didn't know
(07:06):
how to express it.
I don't, I'm very selective withmy who I call friends.
Um, my husband's like, I don'tthink you click with that bird,
I don't think that's gonna work,making it worse.
And then when he was like, he'slike, the only person I can
really see you being friendswith is Josh.
(07:27):
And he called it.
SPEAKER_01 (07:29):
He called it, he did, he put it together with his
big old head.
SPEAKER_04 (07:32):
Big old head.
He called it, but um, and thenmy sister moved down here right
at like as we was getting toknow each other.
It just worked out, it justworked out, but um, thankful for
you know my family.
I have such a close-knitsibling, like sibling
relationships, and I don'talways realize it until I have
(07:54):
conversations with people.
But I speak to at least one ofmy siblings, at least two of my
siblings every week.
I'm talking to somebody.
I'm thankful for the calm thatum I'm getting to and just an
opportunity to settle in to ummy womanhood in another level.
(08:15):
Because I need it.
Like my nervous system neededthis.
So I'm thankful.
SPEAKER_05 (08:21):
Thankful for my thankful.
SPEAKER_04 (08:29):
Yeah, I am.
He is a piece of work.
Me and my husband's just theopposite.
Just put it that way.
That's the easiest way to sayit.
But um, I love him.
Um, and I appreciate him for alleven, you know, we don't always
get it right, but every seasonhe's like, okay, I want to be a
better man.
And he reevaluates himself.
(08:51):
Yeah, my mom told me when I gotmarried, she was like, it's not
you're not gonna have perfectseasons.
She said, But you want to marrya man who wants to be a man and
who go and look at themselvesand do a self-audit and say, I
need to do this, I gotta bebetter.
Yeah, I need I need to bebetter.
And I want to be better.
Not just I need to becausesociety says or this or that, I
want to be a better person, Iwant to be a better son, I want
(09:13):
to be a better husband, I wantto be a better friend.
Like you need people like that.
SPEAKER_01 (09:17):
Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (09:18):
Yeah, when it comes to marriage, because you want
somebody who's gonna grow withyou.
Yeah, and so when my my mommentioned that, and we when we
have our conversations aboutmarriage, growing together.
I like what I hear and stuff,and you gotta do that, and our
marriage hasn't been perfect,you know.
We have our ups and downs, butGod just we know we're supposed
to be together, we know we'resupposed to be together, and um,
(09:43):
but God has given given us graceto tolerate one another.
But um, yeah, I'm just reallyI'm just thankful for my sanity.
SPEAKER_01 (09:54):
Peace of mind is something that people take so
lightly because working in thecity and seeing so many people
outside of their mind makes youso appreciative, so grateful, so
thankful that you are inside ofit.
(10:16):
Like my first experience withsomeone outside of their mind, I
was I was coming down into thetrain station, and this guy was
trying to use the bathroom whilewe were walking in like on the
(10:36):
stairs, in the corner of thestairs, but he kept waiting.
So I was I'm looking like I'mstill new to the city at this
point.
So what do I do?
He's gonna say, Come on, go! Iwas interrupting him.
I am cracking though.
I was like, all I could do inthat moment was say, thank you,
God.
Like, take the wheel, thank you.
(10:57):
And I be pleading the blood ofJesus so much, because don't
play with me and don't play withJesus.
That's what this lady I befollowing.
Say, don't play with Jesus, shedon't play with Jesus.
I don't play about Jesus and Idon't play play about his blood
that I be pleading over myself,especially in that city.
I know, because Lord, but no,I'm so grateful for peace of
(11:22):
mind, sanity, my family, ourfriendship, um, especially my
kids and my village.
Like, let me tell y'all I'mgoing, I don't, I'm not like a
real mushy person.
It gotta be something that'sgonna make me you know
emotional.
But when I tell you my village,it ain't no village like the one
(11:43):
I got.
Like, ain't no village like theone I got.
When I tell you, I now I can getemotional from my mom, from my
brothers, from my my aunts, myfriends, my co-workers, like
just there's no village like theone I got.
(12:04):
Um God knew beforehand that Iwas gonna be in survival mode as
a mom.
And he did his big one.
Like, y'all could go get avillage all y'all want, but stay
away from mine because theymine.
But he did his big one.
Like, my kids don't missanything.
Not to say that we rely on myvillage for everything, but it's
(12:28):
the thought of we could just bechilling or nothing's going on,
haven't talked to anyone.
Someone will pick up that phone,call, text, y'all okay over
there?
I was thinking about Jace out,he wanna do this or duty, Tyler,
Jalen.
Like, somebody in my village isalways right there.
Like, without me asking foranything, especially my one
(12:51):
aunt, she just be like, Oh, I'lldo this.
Like, it's just like because mymom always says, We see what you
do, we see you doing what you'resupposed to do, going above and
beyond.
So we we're not obligated tohelp you, but we got your back.
And I really I'm so grateful inthis season in my life, and the
(13:14):
next season of my life, I'mgonna be forever grateful for my
village.
Like, I'm so grateful.
Like, even Big Head Boo Boo.
Like, that's my dog.
Like, I'm so I'm just grateful,you know what I mean?
I'm just forever grateful.
I'm grateful that in a timewhere people don't have any
(13:35):
money to go get food, that uh II can afford to go get me and my
kids some food or help somebodyelse if needed.
You know what I mean?
Like I'm just grateful, like I'mjust grateful because what was
sent to kill, shill, anddestroy, what was sent to have
(13:57):
me go crazy, none of that touch.
So I'm just I'm telling you,like, some days all I do is just
say thank you, God.
Like that's just the season ofmy life I'm in right now.
And every day is not perfect,but I just be so if y'all knew
(14:17):
everything I've been through,y'all would be up here just as
grateful, thanking God, shoutingon this couch, everything.
Like, I'm forever gratefulbecause life be life.
SPEAKER_04 (14:29):
That's all I was about to say.
Like, um, I wasn't always in aseason where I could be the
lender and not the borrower.
You know, as an adult, yes,because when I tell you my mom's
goal was to break generationalcurses, that's what she was
really working hard for.
But you know, as someone, youknow, what we're going through
in this environment, my momalways was a worker.
(14:51):
And um I I I feel super blessedthat she gave us that mentality
to that figure it out type ofmentality.
Even when she didn't have, likeshe had started uh a woman's
group called Women in Need whenwe was growing up.
And she would go to health fairsand everything, give out
(15:11):
information for women to findshelters and food and all of
that.
And nobody knew there was apoint where we was in one.
We was in shelter, but we and wedidn't have food, and we was
going to food banks everySaturday and all this stuff.
And my mom, even in that, shegoes, she's trying to help other
people.
As soon as she finds somethingout, she she'll go there, she'll
(15:31):
be like, Oh, can we havebrochures?
I like to let women know what'sgoing on and what they like the
resources they have, and she'llset up shop, and that's what she
did.
And I I'm because my mom's sucha private person.
Sorry, mom, for putting yourbusiness out there.
And my story too, I love you.
But um, be a private person.
I don't know that some peopleeven was aware that she had this
(15:54):
nonprofit, and then as an adult,like my goal was to take what my
mom did and bring it to the nextlevel through women who do it
all, and just giving them thesupport and the resources and
everything, whether it becareer, business, or home, and
the encouragement to go to thenext level.
Um, because there was times as asingle mom where I didn't have a
(16:16):
place to go.
Like, you know, I always had ajob, but there was a time where
I'm like, dang, I got nowhere tolive.
SPEAKER_01 (16:22):
And I had two kids at the time.
Or I don't got nothing to eat.
SPEAKER_04 (16:26):
Yo, been there.
So when I say I'm thankful, I'msuper thankful.
Like I practice gratitudebecause I know how it is to have
your whole house packed up inyour car and like I don't know
what to do, but I'ma just keepgoing.
I'ma keep going.
And when I say, I ain't gonnacry, when I say God, it was more
(16:49):
than my faith because faithwithout works is dead, but I
knew what God put in me, and Irefuse to have anybody else tell
me who I am when God alreadytold me who I am.
So when times got hard, I stayedthe course, put one foot in
front of the other, and I said,I'm gonna figure this out.
I'll fall on my face and pray,I'll follow my face and cry,
(17:11):
I'll follow my face, get thoseemotions out.
I said, God, give me the plan,give me the strategy, give me
wisdom to get to this nextlevel.
And every time he showed up,every time he showed up, and I'm
super thankful for that.
And I'm glad that I wasobedient, obedient when he told
me to put$10 in somebody'spocket, obedient when he said
put a hundred, a thousand in thein the and it goes up.
(17:33):
When he tells me, I'm I'm gonnaact on it.
Because first of all, the thefinances I gain from being
obedient, they not even minebecause he knew I'm gonna do he
know I'm gonna do right by hismoney.
He said, I'm gonna give it toher because she's gonna do right
by it.
He understands um what it whatit means to sow.
You know what I'm saying?
And so like I I'm thankful thatI I you know how we talk about
(17:58):
the generational cursessometimes.
Thankful for the generation ofgenerational blessing and call.
SPEAKER_00 (18:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (18:04):
Because I seen my mom do it.
You know what I'm saying?
I seen her do it, and I seenwhere God brought her.
And so I seen a formula and andI applied it to my life as well.
And uh so gratitude's big.
I look at my home and I'm like,God, thank you.
Because I never imagined this.
(18:25):
I was okay, oh my god, just giveme somewhere to live.
Like, not trying to be funny.
No, but seriously, but yeah,like I needed that.
Like a part of my story, there'sso much, but when I was going
through a transition where Ididn't have a place to live, all
my stuff is in my car, and I hadto, you know, which it was me
(18:48):
and Tristan at the time I waspregnant.
It's a tough story to talkabout, but I had to sleep at my
job.
Can I sleep at my job, y'all?
And I ain't miss a beat.
I didn't think, I I told myself,I said, listen, you ain't gonna
think about where you are.
You gonna keep, you're gonna getup every day, you're gonna get
(19:09):
this done.
I will work seven, six in themorning, actually, to eleven at
night.
It'd be an empty room.
I would go sleep, wake up again,seven, seven in the morning or
six in the morning to eleven atnight, go sleep.
And I was a supervisor, but atthat time, supervisor, I was
making like$17 an hour.
I needed a two-bedroom apartmentin New Jersey.
(19:31):
What two-bedroom apartment?
SPEAKER_01 (19:33):
New Jersey at that.
SPEAKER_04 (19:34):
Yeah, I had to get, I had to stay in somebody's
attic right after that.
So when I got, I I took whateverGod gave me, uh, uh attic.
I was embarrassed.
I said, Ain't nobody come overhere.
And here my friends come, notcaring a bit, up the nurse
stairs.
What you need?
You need help break this up.
If my sister came over there andcleaned up and put stuff down,
(19:55):
all that stuff.
I said, I had your mindset.
This is my step, not my stop.
You know what I'm saying?
And so I was like, all right, wegot about a year at most.
How much money can I save inthis year?
What can I do?
Like, I'll put my budgettogether.
Cool.
Something happened in the city,and God expedited that because I
(20:18):
had to get the heck up out ofit.
SPEAKER_01 (20:19):
Because he can do that.
So while we be planning how whatwe need, God be like, I love her
ambition.
I love that she got this plannedout, but watch what I do for
her.
SPEAKER_04 (20:32):
But it came at a time where I was scared for my
life, I was scared for our life.
I said, I'm not staying anotherday in this town, in this city.
God help me get the heck up outof here.
And I did that, and I've been onmy own since I was 18.
I had my own apartment andstuff, so that little phase, I
(20:54):
just knew that I was gonna getthrough it.
Yeah, thankful that, like again,when you in it, sometimes you
don't realize it.
Like when I was talking tosomebody and they was talking
about being homeless, I'm like,dang, was, but I didn't label
myself as that at the time.
I just was in between houses,right?
SPEAKER_01 (21:11):
Exactly.
But when you sit back and you'relike, dang, I told you a couple
weeks ago, recently, it startedlike a couple weeks ago.
I just been having flashbacks toeverything I've been through.
And I thank God for that.
Yeah, because I never want to bethat person who forgets.
Like, I don't want to keepliving in it and thinking about
it, but I don't want to be thatlady that forgot where she came
(21:32):
from.
Right.
Nope.
Yeah, not at all.
So yeah.
That about it there though.
Listen, you know what?
I also thank God for where I am,right?
I thank God for where I used tobe, and I thank God for where
he's about to take me.
Y'all can say this, right?
And everybody be like, you know,next year I'm gonna do this.
(21:52):
But when I tell y'all 2026 aboutto be it for me, 2026 is about
to be lit.
That's what it's about to be it.
It is about to be lit.
So I thank God in advance forwhere we're about to go.
I thank him.
I thank him for where I am now,and I thank him for where how
far he has brought me.
Like, period.
(22:12):
Yep.
Yeah, yep.
I I'm just listening we live ina world where anything could go
left immediately, and I justthank God for staying afloat.
Yes, God.
I'm just so thankful,appreciative.
And I also want to um showappreciation to mentors because
(22:34):
you guys don't know howimportant it is.
Um and sometimes your menteesmight not always express how
important you are to them, butto the mentors that do it from
just because God placed it onyour heart, it's your purpose,
it's your passion.
We think we are thankful for youbecause each one of my boys are
(22:56):
have been blessed with a mentor.
Um you know what I mean?
So that's big to me.
Like that's like a huge thingfor me.
So I want to take to the timeout and just be thankful for the
mentors.
Yes, they're a part of myvillage, but they need that
acknowledgement.
SPEAKER_04 (23:12):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (23:13):
Um, those big brothers, those like uncles, or
you know what I mean?
Like, I thank God for y'all.
I really do.
Like, y'all are important.
Keep doing y'all things.
SPEAKER_04 (23:24):
And everybody, it, you know, seasons, right?
And when you position yourself,God will send you um the right
people, uh, whether it's foryour children or for yourself,
right?
Like, um, I'm big on mentorship.
Um, I actually taught a courseon mentorship in corporate,
yeah.
Because it's big.
I started a mentorship programfor um black women and um
(23:46):
clinical research.
Um with one I I didn't do it bymyself.
You know I'm always gonnaacknowledge people um with our
our employee resources.
Um, but that was major to mebecause I I led the effort um to
keep it going and to just putpeople in position.
But for me, uh, I didn't have alot of black women that were
(24:10):
mentors.
There was there's like oneperson and God blessed her to
pour on me when I needed it.
Don't get me wrong.
Um, but like consistent mentor.
There's actually this Jewishguy.
SPEAKER_05 (24:24):
Jeff.
SPEAKER_04 (24:25):
Um and his wife are a blessing.
They continue to speak life intome.
Um, and from a business angleand just exposure to things I
just wouldn't have otherwiseknown.
Right.
Like he seen my business mind,my entrepreneurship mind, and
he's like, yo, like he ain't sayyo, but he's like, You got
(24:47):
something so special becauseI'll go in those rooms and be
like, why don't you guys dothis, did, did, did, that, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
When I tapped in to that again,yeah.
Yeah, but yeah, mentorship isimportant because God sometimes
allows what they go through tobe your lesson and be your
blessing.
SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_04 (25:08):
You know, your mentor, what your mentor went
through, will be your lesson andyour blessing.
SPEAKER_01 (25:13):
What's your Thanksgiving tradition?
Do you sit around the table andwe all say what we are thankful
for?
Because we don't.
We be all over the place.
Just trying to eat.
Just eat.
My mom gotta say this longbehind prayer.
Yeah.
Every I don't it don't evengotta be Thanksgiving.
She's gonna say the longestgrace every single time.
(25:34):
We'd be like, wrap it up, wrapit up, because she's gonna say
the longest prayer.
But what do you guys do?
It's a Thanksgiving tradition.
Um remember if you are one ofthose people out here that does
not have the huge family, thatfamily you create, whether those
(25:58):
it's those two friends overthere that you have created a
family with, they are important.
Remember to spend time thisholiday season with those who
show up for you, who reciprocatethe same love for you as you do
them, and those who you do notwho do not make you feel
(26:20):
uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_04 (26:21):
Yeah, and send thank you messages, thank you texts.
You don't even gotta go all out.
One year God had me in a spacewhere I sent a thank you
message, like a long thank youmessage to all my aunts and my
siblings, specific to whatthey've done for me in my life.
Yeah, the way they were so happyto be acknowledged.
(26:42):
Yeah, it really, I was like, oh,I'm like, well, thank God for my
video.
You never know what they need.
SPEAKER_01 (26:47):
Yeah, that means a lot.
So get your get a get yourfamily together, whether it's
the family you were born with,the family you created, um, and
enjoy this holiday season.
We all have something to bethankful for.
And you know what?
Pay something forward.
Let's do that, let's challengeeach other to pay something
forward because it's a lot ofkids out here.
(27:07):
Yeah, there's pantries open,right?
Yo, I'm stuck on this, and y'allgonna keep hearing me talk about
this until they give them peopletheir food stamps.
Okay, like for real.
Like, seriously, let's pay itforward, let's donate to a
family.
Like, let's do it now.
Like, let's not wait tillChristmas time.
If you want to send something tous and we donate, we find a
(27:28):
family in need, we can do that.
SPEAKER_04 (27:30):
Yes, because one thing about um not to put it out
there, but women who do it all.
Thanksgiving, Christmas,Mother's Day.
We always find somebody, andmaybe that's why I did what I
did this morning.
What did you just say?
Women who do it all.
My business.
Women who do what?
Women who do it all.
What business?
(27:51):
Okay, and it's like okay, solisten, I'm a serial
entrepreneur because one thingI'm gonna do is make a business
out of something I enjoy.
Don't bear no mind, get to it.
Um, but yeah, yeah.
We need to do that uh thatTikTok are real life because my
friend, and you better let youbetter let it do that.
(28:14):
Women who do it all, I'm gettingit back up and running.
Um, I started it in 2020 and wehave a big Facebook presence
where my goal is just toencourage women who are doing it
all.
You know, I'm not trying topromote that hustle lifestyle,
but if you have to do it, let'sget together and get behind each
(28:35):
other and do it, and let'ssupport one another um what and
whatever level they are in.
But within our group, we wouldhave raffles.
Um, my girl Mo, she would uh doour engagement and um pick uh
raffle winner.
And we have during the pandemic,because of something similar to
this, where some people weren'tgetting things, so we donated
(28:56):
face masks, we donated, um, weblessed like five families with
$500.
But those are the monetarythings.
Yes, those are fun, those areexciting things, but we were
teaching people how to get jobs,right?
SPEAKER_01 (29:09):
We were teaching people how to open up.
That sticks, yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (29:13):
We were giving them the playbook, the downloads and
all that, the challenges.
Like, how do you get out of anegative mindset and negative
way of thinking?
Let's do a seven-day challengetogether.
So, those are the type of thingsjust creating community where
women understand that there'sother people out here like you
in whatever phase you're in, andthere's challenges or
communities that could help youpush through it and information
(29:35):
you can receive.
So I'm always for that.
And um had to take a littlebreak to kind of get my own home
in order.
Um, but I'm back at it and I'msuper excited about what this is
gonna grow into.
SPEAKER_01 (29:48):
If you don't know a family or you want to be
anonymous, send us a message.
Head forward this year, guys.
And not let's not just wait tillChristmas time like that.
Yeah, let's just do it now.
And people are hungry now.
People need them.
SPEAKER_04 (30:03):
Exactly.
I'm oh I'm I'm okay with tellingour story and sharing and stuff,
but everything doesn't have tobe public.
Like this is the first time I'mtelling people what we did and
Women Who Do It All, other thanthe people who was in there
experiencing it.
Right.
You know, because I'm like, thisis my trial, this is my
community, this is my village.
Like, I don't gotta telleverybody what we're doing,
right?
(30:23):
And so, and so if you just wantto be a secret blesser, I don't
care if you had a Dunker Donutsand you're paying it for, or you
see somebody at the register andyou pay for their stuff, you
never know who the people arewho are in need.
Like, sometimes we try to guess,but it could be a next door
neighbor.
They probably look like they gotit all together.
Because one thing my mom did wasmake sure our hair was done and
(30:44):
we had clean clothes on.
People ain't know we werestruggling, okay?
But do what God tells you to do.
Be obedient to what God told youto do and who he told you to
bless.
Because even if they don't needit, let them know I'm I want to
pay it forward.
And maybe they take on thatmindset because if they don't
need it, maybe they'll pay itforward to a family who does.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
And it doesn't always have to be financial,
right?
Yeah.
Um, let's stop walking aroundwith these mean mugging faces
on.
It's okay to smile at people andhold a door for them and ask
people how they're doing today.
You know, because honestly,somebody battling with
depression with a whole bunch ofmoney, they don't need that
(31:22):
money.
Right.
They just need they sometimesthey just need to hear, have a
good day, have a blessed day.
Or your hair is so pretty.
I love you.
You look so beautiful.
Like, let's just throw it, let'sjust piggyback off each other
with these acts of kindness.
It does not hurt to be kind.
And teach your kids that becauseteach your kids to be kind.
SPEAKER_04 (31:45):
One day one of our neighbors had a beautiful dress.
I don't know where she wasgoing.
Ne was like, oh, her dress is sopretty.
I said, let her know that.
I think she would appreciatethat.
Yes.
And so she said, Your dress isso nice.
SPEAKER_01 (31:55):
You look good.
I like that.
I don't care.
I don't care where we are.
If I think you look, I think youwearing that, or I think
special, listen, or y'all couldcall me what y'all want.
If somebody smelled good, I'mlike, you smell good.
I was walking down Broad Streetone day, and this lady smelled
so good.
And she was like, Oh, let meshow you what I got on.
(32:16):
And it was this like um Muslimlike she was like, That's what I
got.
I was like, girl, that smelledgood, and that matches your your
um chemical girl, it's it's foryou.
She was like, Thank you, girl.
Like she was hype.
SPEAKER_04 (32:33):
You know what she walked by this because of this?
Uh-huh.
Because I said that.
And she was like, Well, let metell you how to get my phone and
down to my phone.
Cause I'm like, what is that?
SPEAKER_02 (32:43):
I'm even gonna say it.
Why you smell so good, girl?
SPEAKER_01 (32:45):
Yeah, so like it's okay to acknowledge people and
let them know.
And I I I noticed when I dothat, when I've done that, my
kids do it.
Yeah.
So that goes back to teachingyour kids.
Like, my kids have no problemwith saying, that's a nice
shirt.
Yeah.
That man got a nice shape upover there.
(33:06):
I wonder who cut his hair.
Like, be human.
Exactly.
It's okay to be human.
And it's I think, all right, I'mgonna leave y'all with this.
I'm thankful that I don't have agatekeeping spirit because I
could give you the formula, butthat don't mean you gonna write
(33:28):
it out how I do.
That don't mean you're gonna mixit just like you can't do it
just like me.
Yeah, but I don't have togatekeep it.
I wanna see everybody win.
So I'm thankful not to have thatkind of spirit.
Like, I don't gatekeep, like I'mthe type of person they be like,
your jacket is cute.
Yeah, girl, because I got thisfrom uh Target like four years
(33:49):
ago and it was only$17.
You think they got one now?
I don't know, but you can gocheck.
Go look online.
That's how I'll be yes, likeit's nothing wrong with helping
people.
Like, it's really we all needsomebody.
So in this holiday season, let'sjust not even talk about the
holidays, right?
Let's just go into beingthankful.
(34:10):
Let's be in a season ofThanksgiving.
Because we really are.
So in this season, likeeverybody show gratitude,
appreciate one another, helpsomebody.
We we are all in need in someway, shape, or form right now,
right?
And that's just what it is.
We're in need of something,whether it's a coffee, a bottle
of water, the treadmill at thegym.
(34:32):
We all in need of something.
So help each other.
It ain't gonna hurt you.
I drink Waikiki water.
That blue bottle, it's wellwater.
I used to drink well watergrowing up because we ain't we I
(34:54):
that's what all we that's whatwe had.
That's what we had growing up, awell.
Yeah.
So that's how that's anotherreason.
That's another way for you todecipher, First then, from where
I grew up.
We have wells.
SPEAKER_04 (35:06):
All right, it had city water.
We yes, because I had a well andwe had to put we had to put the
bucket down and pump that down.
SPEAKER_01 (35:13):
Oh, no, we don't gotta do that.
It's connected to the house.
SPEAKER_04 (35:17):
Oh no, we didn't have that when where my mom
lived before we moved to the uhcity, like where I lived before
we moved to the city.
We had like a legit well we hadto put the bucket down.
So if our water, because it wassometimes our water was shut
off.
My mom lost her her mom prettyyoung, and all three sisters
were staying in the house.
(35:38):
The water got shut off, it gotshut off.
We had to go put the water down.
Well, get the well water, put itin tub, pour it, warm it up
first on the stove, and thenpour it inside the tape baths.
Life was whole.
SPEAKER_01 (35:48):
Yeah, well, that happens with us.
That would happen with us if theum hot water tank went or the
well went bad.
We would have to get some water,boil it, like yeah, so yeah,
drinking water and all that,yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (36:00):
But yeah, but that's crazy.
Okay, wow.
Look at that.
We just learned something else.
All right, y'all.
We're gonna let you go.
SPEAKER_01 (36:07):
Have a good Friday.
SPEAKER_03 (36:10):
Have a good one.
SPEAKER_01 (36:11):
Bye.
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