Work From Bed Friday
A committed couple of 30+ years in conversation about marriage, sex, and connection through the lens of contemporary books and media that have ignited their marriage, sex, and connection. Every Friday. From bed.
Episodes
Amy & Tommy make it to Chapter 6 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are and dive into more of the science of sex (what a fun job!) and more of Nagoski's metaphors (THIS is a restaurant.)—both of which are a little bit mind-blowing. Becoming aware of the dangerous sexual myths embedded in our culture is mind-blowing too. Be prepared. Also, turns out Tommy is a good feminist and Amy is a broski dude-man.
Mentioned in this ...
Our culture plants many of the weeds that choke our sexual garden. In this chapter of Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph. D., Amy and Tommy discuss cultural context and the "clusterfuck of mixed messages" that effect our sexual well being.
Fifty Shades of Gray by E L James
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
I Feel Pretty starring Amy Schumer
Coming off a celebration of their magical 22nd wedding anniversary, Amy & Tommy dive into a rollicking discussion of Chapter 4 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are.
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Sentinel Hotel
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D.
Burnout by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA
Original Music:
Song: Women Only Like Me For My Mind
Artist: Rick Real and The Warmth
The most important sex organ is...the brain!! Even so, Amy & Tommy can't help but start with the clitoris and the fact that it's been largely ignored until the 90s. The NINETEEN NINETIES. Soon enough they move on to Chapter 3 of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are, the author-described "nerdy chapter," chock full of brain science. Don't worry, Amy & Tommy find several reasons turn up the spice level, including examining t...
Amy & Tommy begin to connect the dots: have our favorite stories from childhood and teenhood shaped our romantic and sexual selves? Emily Nagoski explains as much in Chapter 2 of Come As You Are. Nagoski first blows the mind with the explanation of the dual-control model: we've all got sexual accelerators and sexual brakes. And not all of us are Lamborghinis! But then, there's CONTEXT. Nagoski is a terrific tease and the antici...
Baby gherkin clits and shameful pudendums. Shleimige flüssigkeiten and pillow talk. Hard AND wet. It's all here in Amy & Tommy's discussion of Chapter 1 of Emily Nagoski's groundbreaking book, Come As You Are. Beginning at the beginning, In Chapter 1, Nagoski guides her readers through genital development from the point of conception through adulthood. We all have the same parts, just organized differently. All incredible!
What IS our human-ness? Is it the SOUL? Or is it the BODY? What is it that reminds us that we aren't supercomputers and that AI-generated bots aren't human? Amy & Tommy dig into that question as they open up Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are for in-depth discussion.
Amy confuses the beloved San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen with an artist at the paper, Warren Goodrich. No matter. We just gotta keep on talking.
Me...
Welcome to Season 3 of Work From Bed Friday! Inspired by the feminist podcasting duo Amanda Montei and Tracy Clark-Flory of Dire Straights, Amy & Tommy try an AI experiment—in the name of research, of course. Eye-opening, spicy, fascinating, and ultimately disturbing, they discuss the experience candidly, wondering what effect this technology will have on our future love, sex, and connection as a culture.
Mentioned in this...
Amy & Tommy welcome their first podcast guest EVER—Stasia Savasuk! Stasia is a somatic coach and the founder of Stasia's Style School and other empowering courses for women. Stasia first introduced Amy to All About Love by bell hooks. Stasia's transformative experience with the book is what inspired Amy to give it to Tommy which ultimately led to the breakthrough in their marriage.
It's like an episode-long Let's Mak...
Closing in on the end of Season 2, Amy & Tommy discuss I Love Dick, the 1997 cult feminist classic by Chris Kraus. Lucky for them, the book was made into a fabulous television series in 2016. They discuss both of these works, digging into themes of art, desire, femininity, the patriarchy. The conversation is long and rambling and juicy—following Chris Kraus's lead!
Mentioned in this Episode:
What would bell hooks say about AI? Can we imagine her angels as AI bots? How does this chapter's discussion of The Divine figure into the overall philosophy of love? Amy & Tommy jump into all the big questions: the Divine, the cosmos, the Tarot. And AI.
This episode discusses the final chapter of All About Love by bell hooks and leads into the completion of Season 2! Stay tuned for a brief discussion of I Love Dick by ...
Intending to start the episode with a discussion of Esther Perel's AI therapy session, Amy & Tommy soon realize that it's a can of worms that need to be opened at a later date! Instead, they remember a favorite podcast episode and the birth of their crowdsourcing efforts: Does Size Matter? Then, it's on to Chapter 12 of All About Love by bell hooks and a discussion of healing and redemptive love but Amy and Tommy veer off into ...
Amy & Tommy celebrate their first "pod-iversary" AND the completion of 50 full length episodes with some bubbly, some memories of their first year podcasting, and later, messages from happy listeners.
But never fear, they have not forgotten about Chapter 11 of All About Love by bell hooks. The chapter is entitled "Loss: Loving into Life and Death" and Amy and Tommy dive right in with their own ideas of how love figures into our ...
Amy & Tommy's scrappy DIY podcast production catches up with them—this was the first episode in which they desperately needed an intern! At least to remind them of last episode's "cornerstones of romantic love." But do not fear! Here are all FOUR cornerstones of romantic love that have emerged over the last two episodes:
- Talk talk talking. Keep the channel OPEN.
- Treat the relationship as a third thing.
- Authenticity. Get ...
What are the secrets to enduring romantic love? Amy & Tommy look for guidance from bell hooks in Chapter 10 of All About Love, but find little there. They offer up their own ideas though, and yearn for a long-term study along the lines of Magnificent Sex that survey people who self-identify as having magnificent romance. Great idea, right?
Thank goodness "Heated Rivalry" is showing us some juicy romantic love!
<...
Amy & Tommy had waaaaay too much to say about Episode 5 of Heated Rivalry. So much, in fact, that they had to make this monster episode into two parts: this episode focuses on Heated Rivalry (typically just the weekly Titillating Tidbit) and their discussion Chapter 10 of All About Love will drop as a separate episode next week. In the meantime, they giddily discuss the romance, the love, the coming out of the penultimate episo...
Amy & Tommy's obsession with Ilya & Shane may be overshadowing their deep dive into All About Love by bell hooks. But they push on, overlaying this seminal text over the cultural reality of 2026. After all, love is love. And apparently, sex is sex. And always hot. Except when it's not. Listen to the end for a look into the Olympics and "Crotchgate."
Who knew that watching hot hockey romances in Heated Rivalry would be a fitting companion for Chapter 8 of All About Love by bell hooks?? So many parallels! Also, some welcome spice for the deep dives into love and community. Amy & Tommy discuss the cultural primacy of the nuclear family and its erosion of our ability to love. It's not as contradictory as it seems: we place so much importance on finding and keeping romantic lov...
It's another love sandwich: spicy analysis of the viral hockey lovestory/softporn series, "Heated Rivalry" on one slice, a reader lovenote on the other slice, and the meat? Deep talk about Chapter 7 of All About Love by bell hooks: greed and the ways in which love cannot thrive or even exist in a world driven by greed. Whoa. Amy & Tommy knock the dated examples while being legit blown away by the resonance with our presen...
As our country navigates this this very difficult moment, the words of bell hooks resonate in their prescience. She understood the road that we were, and are traveling. How do we practice a love ethic as a society? How can we stand strong in a love ethic while disinformation, disregard for basic human rights, and a general lack of love abound?
It helps to talk about it. And also to watch a viral hockey love story. Join...
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