What if the key to thriving isn’t in pushing harder, but in understanding the ways your nervous system brilliantly learned to protect you? In this episode, we will explore how self-abandonment is an adaptive response many of us found, often in early childhood, to maintain safety, belonging, or connection. Sarah unpacks why this pattern, while protective, can also lead to resentment in our relationships, work, and sense of self.
Through the lens of the nervous system and attachment, she shares how chronic giving without receiving can disrupt our internal balance and impact our emotional, physical, and relational well-being. Drawing parallels from nature's rhythm of give-and-receive, Sarah reminds us that honoring our needs isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. When we stop abandoning ourselves, we start making space for deeper connection, creativity, and vitality.
Episode Highlights
00:00 Intro
00:15 What Is Self-Abandonment?
03:34 Receiving Is a Natural Part of a Child’s Development
06:10 Having Needs is Not a Weakness
07:58 How Self-Abandonment Shows Up in Our Adult Life
13:15 Long-Term Effects of Self-Abandonment
15:37 The “As If” Tool
17:24 Identify and Connect with Your Resentment
21:02 Communicate Your Needs in a Tolerable Way
23:20 How to Stop Abandoning Yourself
24:48 Question #1 - Rescuing Others Isn't Your Job
28:31 Question #2 - Self-Care and Nourishing Yourself
32:01 Question #3 - Getting to Know Your Doer Part
Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:
Want more science-backed tools? Take her free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?” to learn more about your nervous system specific to you. You’ll get a downloadable worksheet and personalized guide to help you feel better in your body and life.
Connect with Sarah on:
Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/
Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/
Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce
Football’s funniest family duo — Jason Kelce of the Philadelphia Eagles and Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs — team up to provide next-level access to life in the league as it unfolds. The two brothers and Super Bowl champions drop weekly insights about the weekly slate of games and share their INSIDE perspectives on trending NFL news and sports headlines. They also endlessly rag on each other as brothers do, chat the latest in pop culture and welcome some very popular and well-known friends to chat with them. Check out new episodes every Wednesday. Follow New Heights on the Wondery App, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to new episodes early and ad-free, and get exclusive content on Wondery+. Join Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts or Spotify. And join our new membership for a unique fan experience by going to the New Heights YouTube channel now!