May 14, 2025 • 27 mins
What if getting laid off wasn’t the end of your career story—but the beginning of something more aligned?
In this powerful first installment of a multi-part series on unexpected job loss, Dr. Caroline Sangal shares the truth about what really happens when the rug gets pulled out from under you. From the shock and shame to the silence and identity confusion, this episode explores the emotional side of layoffs that most people avoid—but almost everyone feels.
Whether it happened recently or years ago, if you’re still carrying the weight of a layoff, this episode will help you pause with purpose and begin writing your next chapter with clarity and confidence.
What We Cover:
- Why layoffs feel so personal—even when they’re not
- The emotional symptoms no one talks about
- How to begin healing and reclaiming your story
- What to say (and not say) to someone who’s been laid off
- Thought reversals that can shift your whole perspective
- Caroline’s personal story of loss, uncertainty, and transformation
- Why this moment might be the very opening you’ve been waiting for
Free Resource: Download The Pause, a gentle reflection guide to help you process your experience and begin moving forward with clarity: https://nextsuccesscareers.com/the-pause
Keywords: layoff support, job loss recovery, career transition, coping with job loss, life after layoff, rebuilding after layoff, emotional impact of layoff, career clarity, job search journey, identity after job loss, you are not your job, next career move, authentic success, thought reversal, mental health and career, career coaching podcast, next success method, your next success podcast, mini layoff reflection guide
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Watch full video episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NextSuccessMethod/
Learn more about Next Success www.nextsuccesscareers.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caroline (00:02):
What if losing your job isn't the worst thing that
happened to you, but the verymoment that started to unlock
your true next success?
We've been taught to fearlayoffs as if our identity lives
inside our job title.
But maybe that belief is what'skeeping you stuck.
Because here's what I've seen,some of the most fulfilled,
(00:24):
successful professionals thatI've ever worked with got there
because of a layoff, not inspite of it.
So before you spiral, panic, orsettle for the first safe offer,
take a deep breath.
You are not broken, you are notbehind, and you are certainly
(00:45):
not alone.
Today, we're having a realconversation about what to do
after the rug gets pulled outfrom under you.
How to begin rebuilding and whythis just might be the turning
point that changes your life.
Have you ever wondered, is thisit?
(01:08):
That question is the beginningof Your Next Success.
I am Dr.
Caroline Sangal, and thispodcast is your space to pause,
reflect, and create the careerand life you were made for.
We explore real stories,intentional transitions, and
(01:28):
practical insights to help youstep into alignment, purpose and
peace.
in this episode, we are diggingdeep into why getting laid off
can expose what wasn't workingand open new possibilities, the
identity crisis that often hits,and how to begin rising from it.
(01:49):
Why your first step isn't to fixit, but to feel it, and how
honoring what hurts is the startof something real.
How to support someone you lovethrough this kind of disruption
and hold space for what comesnext.
And you'll hear some realstories of transformation that
began with a layoff and why thisone moment doesn't define you.
(02:13):
This episode kicks off apowerful multi-part series on
what to do after a layoff,because your next chapter
deserves more than panicapplications.
So you've been laid off mayberecently.
Maybe it's been a few months, ormaybe it's been years and you
(02:35):
still might be carrying theweight of it.
Maybe you saw it coming.
Budget cuts, market shifts,restructuring.
Maybe it blindsided you like itdid me.
Maybe it's left you questioningyour worth, your value, your
choices, your whole career.
(02:55):
Being part of a reduction inforce.
Now, that's the kinder way tosay layoff.
It's not just the loss of apaycheck, it's a hit to your
identity, a shock to yournervous system.
And if you're feeling like yourfooting has been ripped out from
under you, you're not alone.
(03:17):
What happens after a layoff israrely talked about in a real
honest way.
It's often coated in shame, insilence, in assumptions.
But today we are pulling backthe curtain and let me say this
as clearly as I can.
(03:37):
This moment, the uncomfortable,uncertain, honestly painful
moment is not the end of yourstory.
It's an invitation to risedifferently, stronger, clearer,
more aligned.
And if you let it, this can bean amazing turning point of your
(03:59):
career.
Let's talk about what reallyhappens after a layoff and how
this moment might be the veryopening to finally creating a
life and career that you love.
This is Your Next Success, andtoday we are answering the
question after a layoff, nowwhat?
(04:21):
We've all been told to believethat being laid off is one of
the worst things that can happenin your career.
That it means you failed, thatyou weren't valuable, That
something was wrong with you.
But what if that's not true?
What if this didn't happen toyou, but for you.
(04:44):
To shake you awake?
To show you what wasn't workingand to unlock something better.
Because when we start to realizethat life is happening for us,
we stop being victims of ourcircumstances and start being
architects of our future.
And maybe that's where you areright now.
(05:04):
You're driving towards the nextchapter and you've got a choice.
Carry the pain like a burden.
Or see it as part of the storythat is shaping you into someone
stronger, wiser, and morefulfilled.
In my twenties, I was driven byego and ambition, and when I
(05:25):
heard about anyone getting laidoff, I admit, I assumed it was
because they had failed.
Truthfully, I thought onlypeople who didn't do things
right were laid off.
I was pregnant with our firstchild when my husband was laid
off, and honestly, I wasrelieved because while the world
(05:49):
tells you layoffs aredevastating, and yes they are in
many ways.
For me, in that moment, it gaveme peace of mind.
Not that there's ever a goodtime for a layoff, but I
remember how it didn't seem tomake any sense.
Just weeks before that, myhusband celebrated his 10 year
anniversary with that company.
(06:11):
They had a reception.
They gave him this beautifulglobe on a stand, and then
shortly after, news broke thatthe company was acquiring a
European firm.
His role?
It was being moved overseas, butnot him.
Just like that, he was part of areduction in force.
(06:32):
So why did I feel at peace whenI found out my husband got laid
off?
At the time I was pregnant withour first child.
Now with all the extra emotionspregnant ladies have, you'd
think I would've panicked.
But if I'm being honest, I wasrelieved because his layoff gave
me peace in an unexpected way.
(06:54):
It gave us both a chance toreimagine what life could look
like.
I knew our baby wouldn't have tobe in daycare with strangers.
I knew he'd be home with someonewho was gentle, patient, fun,
and truly loved being withchildren.
See, my husband has thisincredible, genuine connection
(07:16):
with kids.
He has so much fun being in thepresence of children.
He doesn't just tolerate them.
He sees them, talks to them,plays with them in a way that
makes them feel understood andhe loves it.
It's just who he is.
So my husband was excited to bea stay at home dad.
I kept working and pushing toclimb the invisible corporate
(07:37):
ladder.
I was leading breakthroughinnovation development projects,
developing new fatigue andfracture test methods.
I supervised two technicians andI traveled for work.
My husband and our baby wouldtravel with me, and then we'd
hang out in the hotel togetherafter I was done with my
meetings.
I even commercialized astructural adhesive that brought
in over a million dollars in thefirst six months.
(08:00):
I won awards.
I was contributing, and it wasexciting.
Then when I was pregnant withour second child...
have you ever had a day thatfelt like it unfolded in slow
motion?
There are days where you barelyremember what you ate for
breakfast.
And then there are days sovivid.
(08:21):
It's like watching a movieyou've seen before.
You know the ending, but youstill feel every single scene.
That was January 9th, 2009 forme.
I came in early that morning andas I walked around the corner
towards my cubicle, there hewas, my boss's boss.
(08:43):
Can I see you for a minute?
Sure.
I said, and I went to my cubicleand I took my lunch and jacket
off the guest chair.
No, let's meet in the conferenceroom.
Do I need to bring anything?
Nope.
Well, I grabbed a steno notebookand a pen just in case and we
walked outside the huge room,filled with cubicles and started
(09:04):
walking down the long hallway.
With gray, rubber, texturedfloors, white walls, fluorescent
lights, and that hallway seemedextra long that morning.
We went to the smallestconference room, far away from
everyone else.
As I approached the door, I sawthe HR lady was there and she
(09:25):
was sitting across the table,and my boss was there and he was
seated on the left.
There was a paper on the table,face down, like an exam.
Don't touch it until you're toldto flip it.
And then it was a bit of a blur,but above the noise of the heat
being forced out of the duct inthe ceiling, I heard projected
(09:46):
sales are down 40%.
We are making a 10% reduction inforce, and I was one of 300
getting this news.
And in that moment, it didn'tmatter that I had just
commercialized that adhesivethat was doing exceptionally
well.
It didn't matter that I'dcontributed meaningfully for
nearly seven years, and itsurely didn't matter I was
(10:09):
pregnant.
Then as I left the room with amanila envelope in hand.
Sandy, the amazingly sweetexecutive assistant who was kind
and viewed a little like she waseveryone's mom.
She was waiting there for me,and she gave me a box that had
previously held printer paper,and I had five minutes to gather
(10:31):
whatever I wanted and put it inthat box.
Now, Sandy looked heartbroken,and yet black runner style
stopwatch in hand, she was doingher job.
She told me she'd go through therest of it and ship it to me,
and then I had to give my badgeback and she walked me right
back down that super longhallway and someone else was now
(10:54):
in that room.
Sandy had to walk me all the wayto the door and make sure it
shut and locked as I left, I wasout.
Just like that.
On my way out to the parking lotwhile carrying my box, a friend
of mine was making her way inbecause she was a little later
than normal, and she asked aboutthe box and I felt this wave of
(11:18):
embarrassment and shame surroundme.
So I said something quick andwitty, and she carried on
oblivious.
And then I heard birds chirpingtheir beautiful song.
And I remember angrily thinking,how can you be singing?
I just lost my job.
My husband is a stay at homedad, and this isn't something to
(11:40):
sing about.
I put my lunch back on the frontseat of the minivan, and I got
in on the other side.
I sat stunned for a moment, andthen the tears fell.
I called my husband and I toldhim what happened, and he was so
compassionate.
(12:00):
And he said, well, stop sittingthere.
Turn on the van and come onhome.
We love you.
Apparently when our pottytraining toddler heard the news
that mommy didn't have a jobanymore, he had an accident in
his pants.
Even the tiniest member of ourfamily felt the visceral ripple.
(12:25):
It had been just days beforethat he didn't want me to go to
work.
And I had said I had to, so wecould live in our house and have
food.
Imagine what your life would belike if your career aligned with
who you are, what you do best,and actually fueled the life you
(12:47):
want.
At Next Success, we support allages and stages through career
transitions from studentsexploring majors or careers to
job seekers actively searchingor re-imagining their next move
to professionals committed toself-awareness and leadership
growth.
Stay connected and explorewhat's possible at
(13:07):
nextsuccesscareers.com andfollow@nextsuccessmethod on
LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram,and Facebook.
You are listening to Your NextSuccess with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Let's continue the journey toyour authentic success.
(13:27):
That layoff, humbled me, shookme, and then it opened a door.
A few days later, I knew we hadto be adults and figure things
out.
So one evening I looked at myhusband and I said, okay,
someone's gotta get a job.
And I vote not it.
(13:48):
'cause he'd been home for almostthree years at that point.
So now it was time for him toreimagine what came next and so
I asked him if you could doanything, what would you do?
He admitted that although he haddone well as a chemical
engineer, he didn't really likeit much.
He said he had always foundsupply chain fascinating.
(14:08):
He thought maybe it would be funto get an MBA.
And so I said, well, what do youneed to do to get an MBA?
And he said, first I have totake the GMAT.
So as I was sitting there withmy laptop, I searched and I
found the next available testingdate in our area.
I signed him up and I paid, itwas for the following Saturday.
(14:29):
He protested, I can't do itSaturday, and I said, seriously,
what else do you have going on?
He was worried about the costand I told him I already paid.
It was like$250 and I remindedhim since I had a few months of
severance, it wasn't likeanything was different yet, so I
told him, think of it like apractice run, something to build
(14:50):
momentum.
He studied all week, took thetest, did okay, and then he
retook it a few weeks later andcrushed it.
He got his MBA.
And he's worked in supply chainroles with a major construction
equipment manufacturer eversince, and he's thriving.
He enjoys what he does, and itall started with a layoff and a
(15:15):
bold question of what would hewant to do if he could do
anything.
This reminds me of a story Oprahonce shared.
Now to the outside observer whodoesn't know her story.
It appears as though she'swildly successful, put together,
does great things for the world.
She is powerful, influential,well connected.
(15:37):
And if you didn't know, you mayeven assume that she'd always
been successful and came from agood family.
I went to a conference Oprah puton an early 2020 before the
pandemic.
It was called"2020 Vision YourLife in Focus".
And she told more of her storyand I had never heard it before.
(15:58):
She talked about her childhoodbeing marked with trauma,
neglect, physical abuse, sexualabuse, and so many horrible
things.
And much of it happened when shelived with her mother.
And so then she talked about howin late 2018 her mother was very
ill and dying.
(16:19):
Now while Oprah was travelingfor hours to make it there, she
kept thinking about all the painshe had experienced and all the
things that happened to herbecause of her mother.
Now, Oprah really wanted to lether have it and tell her once
and for all how much pain andhurt she had caused.
(16:42):
Then as she walked into thehospital room.
And heard the beeping of theheart monitor and all the other
hospital sounds, something cameover her.
Something shifted.
A wave of peace and gratitudesettled in, and she realized,
(17:04):
had all of those things nothappened, she wouldn't have
become who she was.
Oprah had spent decades withanger and rage about all the
things that had happened to her.
And in this final moment withher mother, she was able to
(17:24):
genuinely forgive her, and sherealized those things happened
for her because it shaped whoshe became.
It made her who she is.
She said Everything thathappened, happened for me.
And when I heard that, it landedhard, and I felt something
(17:49):
shift, because losing your jobcan feel like a betrayal, like
something done to you.
But what if you flip the script?
What if this happened for you?
To bring you back to yourself?
To redirect your energy?
To open the door you would'venever chosen, but that leads to
(18:12):
everything you actually want?
My layoff, it shook me, humbledme, had me questioning
everything.
It made me question my worth, myidentity, everything I thought
I'd earned.
I had been working so hard.
I was leading innovation, I wascontributing.
I was doing everything right orso I thought.
(18:34):
And then just like that, I wasno longer needed.
It was one of those momentswhere the walls around your
confidence collapse, whereeverything gets quiet and your
brain spins with thoughts like,am I not good enough?
Was I wrong about everything?
It felt so personal, even thoughI know it wasn't.
(18:56):
But now, from this vantagepoint, years later.
I can look back and say withouthesitation, I'm so glad I
experienced the trauma of thatlayoff because that moment
cracked open a new path.
One I couldn't have seen if Ihad stayed on the trajectory I
was on.
(19:17):
Now listen, maybe that wordtrauma made you bristle a
little.
Maybe you're thinking, come on,it is just a job people go
through.
Worse.
Now, quick note, I am not amental health professional.
What I'm sharing here comes frompersonal experience, deep
research, and supportinghundreds of people through
career transitions.
And I believe that talking aboutthe things that most people want
(19:40):
to hide or forget, talking aboutit openly, honestly, and without
shame, it helps us all to heal,grow, and move forward.
So if anything in this episodehits home for you, I invite you
to explore it with curiosity,not judgment.
You are not alone in this,because a lot of people,
(20:01):
especially those of us inscience, tech, and other high
pressure fields, we minimize, wepower through.
We try to think our way pastwhat we're actually feeling, but
mental health is health and yes,trauma shows up in more ways
than we think.
Layoffs can trigger grief,identity confusion, shame,
(20:24):
financial fear, relationshipstress, even physical symptoms
like fatigue or insomnia.
But instead of acknowledgingthat, most people try to outrun
it.
Here's what trauma experts sayto move through something hard,
you have to first rememberbefore it happened, who you
(20:45):
were, what your life lookedlike.
You don't freeze frame youridentity in the worst moment.
You widen the lens and then youmove forward because this layoff
is part of your story, but it isnot your whole story.
(21:06):
In hindsight, it happened forme.
Before the layoff, I had beenwondering how I could be the
kind of mom that I wanted to bebecause I would leave shortly
after my child got up and Iwould return when he was winding
down and getting ready for bed.
Then I'd wake up, get ready,kiss him, work, come home,
(21:29):
dinner, bath, bedtime, hang outwith my husband, go to bed,
repeat.
I read to him when I could.
On weekends I was exhausted, andon Monday it started all over
again.
And as I looked around and I sawwomen in higher positions, like
I thought I wanted, I rememberbeing concerned because they
(21:51):
were at work all the time.
And I had this disconnect.
How could I be all the thingsthat I wanted to be?
How could I be a present mom, aloving wife, and a successful
corporate ladder climber?
The layoff gave me space.
I got to be with my kids.
(22:12):
When they went to school, Ivolunteered so often, many
people thought I worked there.
I got to be present for more ofmy kids' waking hours.
And it gave me time to reflectupon what I truly enjoyed.
Now, if you're the one listeningtoday, and your partner or
(22:32):
someone you care about is theone who's been laid off, here's
something important.
This is your moment to remindthem that they are not their
job.
They are still the brilliant,capable, thoughtful human you
chose before the job title,before the paycheck.
Look'em in the eyes and say, youare amazing.
(22:55):
I believe in you, and this isjust one chapter, not your whole
story.
Give them space to feel, togrieve, to breathe.
Don't jump into fix it mode.
Just be there.
Reassure them that this doesn'tchange how you see them.
(23:15):
That kindness can mean more thanyou'll ever realize.
And if it was you that was laidoff and you're starting to
doubt, remember you have a 100%success rate at surviving hard
things and challenging days, andyou will survive this too.
(23:35):
Have you ever read a book sogripping that you couldn't put
it down even though you alreadyknew how it ended?
Like Harry Potter and theSorcerer's Stone, Harry, Ron,
and Hermione, they sneak pastFluffy, that three-headed
growling, devilish, big sharpteeth drooling dog guarding the
trap door that led to theunderground protection of the
sorcerer stone.
(23:56):
That whole sequence with trialslike Devil's snare, the flying
keys, the life-size chess game.
And more.
It's one of the first time Harryfaces, real danger, and chooses
to keep going.
The stakes are massive, the fearis real, and when you read it,
it feels like your heart isabout to beat out of your chest.
(24:20):
And it's a powerful metaphor.
As you're reading, you think theterrifying dog is the thing to
fear, but it's just the firsttest on your way to something
greater.
If you got laid off, you mightfeel like you are staring down a
three-headed dog right now.
Something huge and terrifying,but just like Harry, what's on
(24:41):
the other side isn't justdanger, it's discovery.
And as you're reading, somewherein your mind, you remember,
wait, this can't be how it ends.
There's still chapters left.
He's the main character.
His story isn't over.
And friend.
Neither is yours.
(25:03):
Courage isn't the absence offear.
It is the decision to keepgoing.
Fearless isn't no fear, it'sfear less.
Losing a job might feel like theend of everything, but it's not.
It's a chapter, maybe a darkone, maybe one that you'll
reread years from now with tearsin your eyes, but you're still
(25:26):
here.
Still breathing, still holdingthe pen.
Before you go, if this episoderesonated with you,
I want to invite you to take onesmall, meaningful step,
especially if you've experiencedan unexpected job loss.
I created a free resource justfor this moment.
(25:47):
It's called The Pause.
A gentle reflection guide forunexpected job loss.
Inside you'll find thoughtfulprompts, quiet reframes, and
simple ways to reconnect withwho you are, even beyond your
job title.
Because clarity doesn't comefrom panic, it comes from
presence.
(26:08):
You can download it now usingthe link in the show notes.
So give yourself that gift.
It's free, and it's waiting foryou And if you already know this
moment is calling you tosomething deeper.
Don't miss the full job searchroadmap experience.
We go much further inside thatprogram.
But today, just start here.
Download the guide, sit with thequestions, and reclaim your
(26:30):
story.
Okay, friends, keep goingforward.
Turn the page because the bestpart of your story is still
ahead.
There are days that pass withouta trace.
You don't even remember what youhad for breakfast.
And then there are the days thatmark you.
Days that feel like they happenin slow motion.
(26:53):
When I think back to that longhallway, the birds outside, the
stunned drive home.
I remember everything, the smellof the paper box, the look on
the admin's face, the way Icouldn't even form many words
when I saw my friend.
That day is still etched in mymind, but it doesn't define me.
It became part of a biggerstory, one that's still being
(27:16):
written.
And if today is your layoff day,know this.
This is not the end.
It's not even close.
It's a moment.
And what you do next can changeeverything.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to YourNext Success with Dr.
(27:37):
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
What if losing your job isn't the worst thing that
happened to you, but the verymoment that started to unlock
your true next success?
We've been taught to fearlayoffs as if our identity lives
inside our job title.
But maybe that belief is what'skeeping you stuck.
Because here's what I've seen,some of the most fulfilled,
(00:24):
successful professionals thatI've ever worked with got there
because of a layoff, not inspite of it.
So before you spiral, panic, orsettle for the first safe offer,
take a deep breath.
You are not broken, you are notbehind, and you are certainly
(00:45):
not alone.
Today, we're having a realconversation about what to do
after the rug gets pulled outfrom under you.
How to begin rebuilding and whythis just might be the turning
point that changes your life.
Have you ever wondered, is thisit?
(01:08):
That question is the beginningof Your Next Success.
I am Dr.
Caroline Sangal, and thispodcast is your space to pause,
reflect, and create the careerand life you were made for.
We explore real stories,intentional transitions, and
(01:28):
practical insights to help youstep into alignment, purpose and
peace.
in this episode, we are diggingdeep into why getting laid off
can expose what wasn't workingand open new possibilities, the
identity crisis that often hits,and how to begin rising from it.
(01:49):
Why your first step isn't to fixit, but to feel it, and how
honoring what hurts is the startof something real.
How to support someone you lovethrough this kind of disruption
and hold space for what comesnext.
And you'll hear some realstories of transformation that
began with a layoff and why thisone moment doesn't define you.
(02:13):
This episode kicks off apowerful multi-part series on
what to do after a layoff,because your next chapter
deserves more than panicapplications.
So you've been laid off mayberecently.
Maybe it's been a few months, ormaybe it's been years and you
(02:35):
still might be carrying theweight of it.
Maybe you saw it coming.
Budget cuts, market shifts,restructuring.
Maybe it blindsided you like itdid me.
Maybe it's left you questioningyour worth, your value, your
choices, your whole career.
(02:55):
Being part of a reduction inforce.
Now, that's the kinder way tosay layoff.
It's not just the loss of apaycheck, it's a hit to your
identity, a shock to yournervous system.
And if you're feeling like yourfooting has been ripped out from
under you, you're not alone.
(03:17):
What happens after a layoff israrely talked about in a real
honest way.
It's often coated in shame, insilence, in assumptions.
But today we are pulling backthe curtain and let me say this
as clearly as I can.
(03:37):
This moment, the uncomfortable,uncertain, honestly painful
moment is not the end of yourstory.
It's an invitation to risedifferently, stronger, clearer,
more aligned.
And if you let it, this can bean amazing turning point of your
(03:59):
career.
Let's talk about what reallyhappens after a layoff and how
this moment might be the veryopening to finally creating a
life and career that you love.
This is Your Next Success, andtoday we are answering the
question after a layoff, nowwhat?
(04:21):
We've all been told to believethat being laid off is one of
the worst things that can happenin your career.
That it means you failed, thatyou weren't valuable, That
something was wrong with you.
But what if that's not true?
What if this didn't happen toyou, but for you.
(04:44):
To shake you awake?
To show you what wasn't workingand to unlock something better.
Because when we start to realizethat life is happening for us,
we stop being victims of ourcircumstances and start being
architects of our future.
And maybe that's where you areright now.
(05:04):
You're driving towards the nextchapter and you've got a choice.
Carry the pain like a burden.
Or see it as part of the storythat is shaping you into someone
stronger, wiser, and morefulfilled.
In my twenties, I was driven byego and ambition, and when I
(05:25):
heard about anyone getting laidoff, I admit, I assumed it was
because they had failed.
Truthfully, I thought onlypeople who didn't do things
right were laid off.
I was pregnant with our firstchild when my husband was laid
off, and honestly, I wasrelieved because while the world
(05:49):
tells you layoffs aredevastating, and yes they are in
many ways.
For me, in that moment, it gaveme peace of mind.
Not that there's ever a goodtime for a layoff, but I
remember how it didn't seem tomake any sense.
Just weeks before that, myhusband celebrated his 10 year
anniversary with that company.
(06:11):
They had a reception.
They gave him this beautifulglobe on a stand, and then
shortly after, news broke thatthe company was acquiring a
European firm.
His role?
It was being moved overseas, butnot him.
Just like that, he was part of areduction in force.
(06:32):
So why did I feel at peace whenI found out my husband got laid
off?
At the time I was pregnant withour first child.
Now with all the extra emotionspregnant ladies have, you'd
think I would've panicked.
But if I'm being honest, I wasrelieved because his layoff gave
me peace in an unexpected way.
(06:54):
It gave us both a chance toreimagine what life could look
like.
I knew our baby wouldn't have tobe in daycare with strangers.
I knew he'd be home with someonewho was gentle, patient, fun,
and truly loved being withchildren.
See, my husband has thisincredible, genuine connection
(07:16):
with kids.
He has so much fun being in thepresence of children.
He doesn't just tolerate them.
He sees them, talks to them,plays with them in a way that
makes them feel understood andhe loves it.
It's just who he is.
So my husband was excited to bea stay at home dad.
I kept working and pushing toclimb the invisible corporate
(07:37):
ladder.
I was leading breakthroughinnovation development projects,
developing new fatigue andfracture test methods.
I supervised two technicians andI traveled for work.
My husband and our baby wouldtravel with me, and then we'd
hang out in the hotel togetherafter I was done with my
meetings.
I even commercialized astructural adhesive that brought
in over a million dollars in thefirst six months.
(08:00):
I won awards.
I was contributing, and it wasexciting.
Then when I was pregnant withour second child...
have you ever had a day thatfelt like it unfolded in slow
motion?
There are days where you barelyremember what you ate for
breakfast.
And then there are days sovivid.
(08:21):
It's like watching a movieyou've seen before.
You know the ending, but youstill feel every single scene.
That was January 9th, 2009 forme.
I came in early that morning andas I walked around the corner
towards my cubicle, there hewas, my boss's boss.
(08:43):
Can I see you for a minute?
Sure.
I said, and I went to my cubicleand I took my lunch and jacket
off the guest chair.
No, let's meet in the conferenceroom.
Do I need to bring anything?
Nope.
Well, I grabbed a steno notebookand a pen just in case and we
walked outside the huge room,filled with cubicles and started
(09:04):
walking down the long hallway.
With gray, rubber, texturedfloors, white walls, fluorescent
lights, and that hallway seemedextra long that morning.
We went to the smallestconference room, far away from
everyone else.
As I approached the door, I sawthe HR lady was there and she
(09:25):
was sitting across the table,and my boss was there and he was
seated on the left.
There was a paper on the table,face down, like an exam.
Don't touch it until you're toldto flip it.
And then it was a bit of a blur,but above the noise of the heat
being forced out of the duct inthe ceiling, I heard projected
(09:46):
sales are down 40%.
We are making a 10% reduction inforce, and I was one of 300
getting this news.
And in that moment, it didn'tmatter that I had just
commercialized that adhesivethat was doing exceptionally
well.
It didn't matter that I'dcontributed meaningfully for
nearly seven years, and itsurely didn't matter I was
(10:09):
pregnant.
Then as I left the room with amanila envelope in hand.
Sandy, the amazingly sweetexecutive assistant who was kind
and viewed a little like she waseveryone's mom.
She was waiting there for me,and she gave me a box that had
previously held printer paper,and I had five minutes to gather
(10:31):
whatever I wanted and put it inthat box.
Now, Sandy looked heartbroken,and yet black runner style
stopwatch in hand, she was doingher job.
She told me she'd go through therest of it and ship it to me,
and then I had to give my badgeback and she walked me right
back down that super longhallway and someone else was now
(10:54):
in that room.
Sandy had to walk me all the wayto the door and make sure it
shut and locked as I left, I wasout.
Just like that.
On my way out to the parking lotwhile carrying my box, a friend
of mine was making her way inbecause she was a little later
than normal, and she asked aboutthe box and I felt this wave of
(11:18):
embarrassment and shame surroundme.
So I said something quick andwitty, and she carried on
oblivious.
And then I heard birds chirpingtheir beautiful song.
And I remember angrily thinking,how can you be singing?
I just lost my job.
My husband is a stay at homedad, and this isn't something to
(11:40):
sing about.
I put my lunch back on the frontseat of the minivan, and I got
in on the other side.
I sat stunned for a moment, andthen the tears fell.
I called my husband and I toldhim what happened, and he was so
compassionate.
(12:00):
And he said, well, stop sittingthere.
Turn on the van and come onhome.
We love you.
Apparently when our pottytraining toddler heard the news
that mommy didn't have a jobanymore, he had an accident in
his pants.
Even the tiniest member of ourfamily felt the visceral ripple.
(12:25):
It had been just days beforethat he didn't want me to go to
work.
And I had said I had to, so wecould live in our house and have
food.
Imagine what your life would belike if your career aligned with
who you are, what you do best,and actually fueled the life you
(12:47):
want.
At Next Success, we support allages and stages through career
transitions from studentsexploring majors or careers to
job seekers actively searchingor re-imagining their next move
to professionals committed toself-awareness and leadership
growth.
Stay connected and explorewhat's possible at
(13:07):
nextsuccesscareers.com andfollow@nextsuccessmethod on
LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram,and Facebook.
You are listening to Your NextSuccess with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Let's continue the journey toyour authentic success.
(13:27):
That layoff, humbled me, shookme, and then it opened a door.
A few days later, I knew we hadto be adults and figure things
out.
So one evening I looked at myhusband and I said, okay,
someone's gotta get a job.
And I vote not it.
(13:48):
'cause he'd been home for almostthree years at that point.
So now it was time for him toreimagine what came next and so
I asked him if you could doanything, what would you do?
He admitted that although he haddone well as a chemical
engineer, he didn't really likeit much.
He said he had always foundsupply chain fascinating.
(14:08):
He thought maybe it would be funto get an MBA.
And so I said, well, what do youneed to do to get an MBA?
And he said, first I have totake the GMAT.
So as I was sitting there withmy laptop, I searched and I
found the next available testingdate in our area.
I signed him up and I paid, itwas for the following Saturday.
(14:29):
He protested, I can't do itSaturday, and I said, seriously,
what else do you have going on?
He was worried about the costand I told him I already paid.
It was like$250 and I remindedhim since I had a few months of
severance, it wasn't likeanything was different yet, so I
told him, think of it like apractice run, something to build
(14:50):
momentum.
He studied all week, took thetest, did okay, and then he
retook it a few weeks later andcrushed it.
He got his MBA.
And he's worked in supply chainroles with a major construction
equipment manufacturer eversince, and he's thriving.
He enjoys what he does, and itall started with a layoff and a
(15:15):
bold question of what would hewant to do if he could do
anything.
This reminds me of a story Oprahonce shared.
Now to the outside observer whodoesn't know her story.
It appears as though she'swildly successful, put together,
does great things for the world.
She is powerful, influential,well connected.
(15:37):
And if you didn't know, you mayeven assume that she'd always
been successful and came from agood family.
I went to a conference Oprah puton an early 2020 before the
pandemic.
It was called"2020 Vision YourLife in Focus".
And she told more of her storyand I had never heard it before.
(15:58):
She talked about her childhoodbeing marked with trauma,
neglect, physical abuse, sexualabuse, and so many horrible
things.
And much of it happened when shelived with her mother.
And so then she talked about howin late 2018 her mother was very
ill and dying.
(16:19):
Now while Oprah was travelingfor hours to make it there, she
kept thinking about all the painshe had experienced and all the
things that happened to herbecause of her mother.
Now, Oprah really wanted to lether have it and tell her once
and for all how much pain andhurt she had caused.
(16:42):
Then as she walked into thehospital room.
And heard the beeping of theheart monitor and all the other
hospital sounds, something cameover her.
Something shifted.
A wave of peace and gratitudesettled in, and she realized,
(17:04):
had all of those things nothappened, she wouldn't have
become who she was.
Oprah had spent decades withanger and rage about all the
things that had happened to her.
And in this final moment withher mother, she was able to
(17:24):
genuinely forgive her, and sherealized those things happened
for her because it shaped whoshe became.
It made her who she is.
She said Everything thathappened, happened for me.
And when I heard that, it landedhard, and I felt something
(17:49):
shift, because losing your jobcan feel like a betrayal, like
something done to you.
But what if you flip the script?
What if this happened for you?
To bring you back to yourself?
To redirect your energy?
To open the door you would'venever chosen, but that leads to
(18:12):
everything you actually want?
My layoff, it shook me, humbledme, had me questioning
everything.
It made me question my worth, myidentity, everything I thought
I'd earned.
I had been working so hard.
I was leading innovation, I wascontributing.
I was doing everything right orso I thought.
(18:34):
And then just like that, I wasno longer needed.
It was one of those momentswhere the walls around your
confidence collapse, whereeverything gets quiet and your
brain spins with thoughts like,am I not good enough?
Was I wrong about everything?
It felt so personal, even thoughI know it wasn't.
(18:56):
But now, from this vantagepoint, years later.
I can look back and say withouthesitation, I'm so glad I
experienced the trauma of thatlayoff because that moment
cracked open a new path.
One I couldn't have seen if Ihad stayed on the trajectory I
was on.
(19:17):
Now listen, maybe that wordtrauma made you bristle a
little.
Maybe you're thinking, come on,it is just a job people go
through.
Worse.
Now, quick note, I am not amental health professional.
What I'm sharing here comes frompersonal experience, deep
research, and supportinghundreds of people through
career transitions.
And I believe that talking aboutthe things that most people want
(19:40):
to hide or forget, talking aboutit openly, honestly, and without
shame, it helps us all to heal,grow, and move forward.
So if anything in this episodehits home for you, I invite you
to explore it with curiosity,not judgment.
You are not alone in this,because a lot of people,
(20:01):
especially those of us inscience, tech, and other high
pressure fields, we minimize, wepower through.
We try to think our way pastwhat we're actually feeling, but
mental health is health and yes,trauma shows up in more ways
than we think.
Layoffs can trigger grief,identity confusion, shame,
(20:24):
financial fear, relationshipstress, even physical symptoms
like fatigue or insomnia.
But instead of acknowledgingthat, most people try to outrun
it.
Here's what trauma experts sayto move through something hard,
you have to first rememberbefore it happened, who you
(20:45):
were, what your life lookedlike.
You don't freeze frame youridentity in the worst moment.
You widen the lens and then youmove forward because this layoff
is part of your story, but it isnot your whole story.
(21:06):
In hindsight, it happened forme.
Before the layoff, I had beenwondering how I could be the
kind of mom that I wanted to bebecause I would leave shortly
after my child got up and Iwould return when he was winding
down and getting ready for bed.
Then I'd wake up, get ready,kiss him, work, come home,
(21:29):
dinner, bath, bedtime, hang outwith my husband, go to bed,
repeat.
I read to him when I could.
On weekends I was exhausted, andon Monday it started all over
again.
And as I looked around and I sawwomen in higher positions, like
I thought I wanted, I rememberbeing concerned because they
(21:51):
were at work all the time.
And I had this disconnect.
How could I be all the thingsthat I wanted to be?
How could I be a present mom, aloving wife, and a successful
corporate ladder climber?
The layoff gave me space.
I got to be with my kids.
(22:12):
When they went to school, Ivolunteered so often, many
people thought I worked there.
I got to be present for more ofmy kids' waking hours.
And it gave me time to reflectupon what I truly enjoyed.
Now, if you're the one listeningtoday, and your partner or
(22:32):
someone you care about is theone who's been laid off, here's
something important.
This is your moment to remindthem that they are not their
job.
They are still the brilliant,capable, thoughtful human you
chose before the job title,before the paycheck.
Look'em in the eyes and say, youare amazing.
(22:55):
I believe in you, and this isjust one chapter, not your whole
story.
Give them space to feel, togrieve, to breathe.
Don't jump into fix it mode.
Just be there.
Reassure them that this doesn'tchange how you see them.
(23:15):
That kindness can mean more thanyou'll ever realize.
And if it was you that was laidoff and you're starting to
doubt, remember you have a 100%success rate at surviving hard
things and challenging days, andyou will survive this too.
(23:35):
Have you ever read a book sogripping that you couldn't put
it down even though you alreadyknew how it ended?
Like Harry Potter and theSorcerer's Stone, Harry, Ron,
and Hermione, they sneak pastFluffy, that three-headed
growling, devilish, big sharpteeth drooling dog guarding the
trap door that led to theunderground protection of the
sorcerer stone.
(23:56):
That whole sequence with trialslike Devil's snare, the flying
keys, the life-size chess game.
And more.
It's one of the first time Harryfaces, real danger, and chooses
to keep going.
The stakes are massive, the fearis real, and when you read it,
it feels like your heart isabout to beat out of your chest.
(24:20):
And it's a powerful metaphor.
As you're reading, you think theterrifying dog is the thing to
fear, but it's just the firsttest on your way to something
greater.
If you got laid off, you mightfeel like you are staring down a
three-headed dog right now.
Something huge and terrifying,but just like Harry, what's on
(24:41):
the other side isn't justdanger, it's discovery.
And as you're reading, somewherein your mind, you remember,
wait, this can't be how it ends.
There's still chapters left.
He's the main character.
His story isn't over.
And friend.
Neither is yours.
(25:03):
Courage isn't the absence offear.
It is the decision to keepgoing.
Fearless isn't no fear, it'sfear less.
Losing a job might feel like theend of everything, but it's not.
It's a chapter, maybe a darkone, maybe one that you'll
reread years from now with tearsin your eyes, but you're still
(25:26):
here.
Still breathing, still holdingthe pen.
Before you go, if this episoderesonated with you,
I want to invite you to take onesmall, meaningful step,
especially if you've experiencedan unexpected job loss.
I created a free resource justfor this moment.
(25:47):
It's called The Pause.
A gentle reflection guide forunexpected job loss.
Inside you'll find thoughtfulprompts, quiet reframes, and
simple ways to reconnect withwho you are, even beyond your
job title.
Because clarity doesn't comefrom panic, it comes from
presence.
(26:08):
You can download it now usingthe link in the show notes.
So give yourself that gift.
It's free, and it's waiting foryou And if you already know this
moment is calling you tosomething deeper.
Don't miss the full job searchroadmap experience.
We go much further inside thatprogram.
But today, just start here.
Download the guide, sit with thequestions, and reclaim your
(26:30):
story.
Okay, friends, keep goingforward.
Turn the page because the bestpart of your story is still
ahead.
There are days that pass withouta trace.
You don't even remember what youhad for breakfast.
And then there are the days thatmark you.
Days that feel like they happenin slow motion.
(26:53):
When I think back to that longhallway, the birds outside, the
stunned drive home.
I remember everything, the smellof the paper box, the look on
the admin's face, the way Icouldn't even form many words
when I saw my friend.
That day is still etched in mymind, but it doesn't define me.
It became part of a biggerstory, one that's still being
(27:16):
written.
And if today is your layoff day,know this.
This is not the end.
It's not even close.
It's a moment.
And what you do next can changeeverything.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to YourNext Success with Dr.
(27:37):
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
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