May 21, 2025 • 32 mins
What if that fog you’re feeling after losing your job... isn’t failure, but grief?
In this tender and powerful episode of Your Next Success, Dr. Caroline Sangal pulls back the curtain on the emotional aftermath of a layoff—the identity unraveling, the shame, the numbness—and why trying to “stay positive” too soon can actually keep you stuck.
You’ll discover:
- The 5 hidden losses that silently weigh on you after a layoff
- How the 5 stages of grief show up in your career journey (yes, even denial and bargaining)
- Why skipping grief doesn’t save time—it steals your clarity
- A powerful exercise to begin reclaiming your voice, values, and vision
Ready to pause and reflect?
Download The Pause: A Gentle Reflection Guide https://nextsuccesscareers.com/the-pause
It’s soft. It’s grounding. And it’s here to help you process this moment with grace—not guilt.
Because grief isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. And you?
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
Keywords: grief after layoff, emotional recovery after job loss, mental health after layoff, what to do after getting laid off, career grief, identity loss after job, stages of grief job loss, layoff trauma, healing after job loss, how to recover from a layoff, Dr. Caroline Sangal, Your Next Success podcast, job transition support, layoff reflection guide, the pause reflection guide, rebuilding after a layoff, job loss advice, career clarity after layoff
Subscribe to Your Next Success so you never miss an episode.
Watch full video episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NextSuccessMethod/
Learn more about Next Success www.nextsuccesscareers.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Caroline (00:03):
If you've recently been laid off or if you're
staring down a transition thatyou didn't ask for, you might
feel this pressure to be okay,to bounce back quickly, to
update your resume, to tell yourfamily and friends"I've got
this" to go full speed aheadbecause slowing down feels like
(00:23):
failure, but what if that urgeto power through is actually
keeping you stuck?
What if trying to stay positivetoo soon isn't strength, but
spiritual suppression?
Because skipping the griefdoesn't save you time.
It steals your clarity, and Iget it.
(00:45):
Grief is messy.
It's not what we post about onLinkedIn.
No one tells you to honor yourheartbreak after a restructure.
But you can't build your nextsuccess if you're still carrying
the silent shame of the lastchapter.
Today, I wanna talk about thepart no one prepares you for.
(01:07):
Not the resume or the interviewprep or the job boards, but the
emotional aftermath, thedisorientation.
The spiral, the numbness, theidentity unraveling that happens
when your career gets ripped outfrom under you.
This episode might feel tender.
(01:27):
It might feel real.
It might feel like someonefinally named what you've been
trying to carry all by yourself,and that's the point.
Because this part, it matters.
Have you ever wondered, is thisit?
That question is the beginningof Your Next Success.
(01:52):
this podcast is your space topause, reflect, and create the
career and life you were madefor.
We explore real stories,intentional transitions, and
practical insights to help youstep into alignment, purpose and
peace.
Tune in and begin your nextsuccess.
(02:16):
let's talk about what you'rereally going through and how to
move through it with power,purpose, and peace.
In this episode of your NextSuccess, we are digging into
what happens emotionally after alayoff or a major job
transition.
Why grief after job loss is realand necessary.
The five hidden losses no onewarns you about.
(02:38):
How unprocessed grief canquietly sabotage your next move.
The five stages of grief.
Yeah.
They show up in careers too.
And a powerful reflection thatcan help you move from confusion
to clarity because your worthdidn't disappear with your job
title and what you feel rightnow.
(02:59):
It isn't weakness, it's thebeginning of something new.
What if what you're experiencingisn't a breakdown, but a natural
necessary step in becoming whoyou're meant to be next?
We tend to think grief onlyhappens when we lose a loved
one, but losing a job.
(03:21):
Especially one that shaped yourroutine, your identity, and your
sense of purpose.
It can hit just as hard.
You might think you're not beingstrong by brushing it off,
moving on, staying positive,jumping into job boards the next
day.
So if you're feeling all overthe place, if one day you're
hopeful and the next you'respiraling, that's not weakness,
(03:43):
it's grief.
And understanding it might justgive you the power to move
through it.
Because here's the truth,skipping the grief doesn't save
you time.
It steals your clarity.
Because the pain, the shame, theidentity unraveling, it all has
something to teach you.
(04:05):
You don't need to stay in griefforever, but you do need to walk
through it.
Today we're talking about thepart no one wants to talk about,
the emotional aftermath oflosing your job, the grief, the
fear, the pressure to perform orbounce back immediately.
Let's talk about the grief aftera layoff and how to come out
(04:27):
stronger on the other side.
When I was laid off, I expectedto feel stressed.
What I didn't expect was theidentity crisis.
I expected to feel worried,maybe even embarrassed.
I didn't expect the flood ofemotions.
I didn't expect to stare at mycomputer screen for three hours
(04:47):
straight, unable to even open asingle job board.
I didn't expect the brain fog,the shame, or the strange
emptiness in the middle of theday.
The tension in my chest.
I wasn't just unemployed, I feltuntethered, and no one talked
about that part.
Layoffs aren't just logical,they're emotional, and yet we're
(05:11):
often encouraged to powerthrough to keep our heads up, to
slap on a brave face and sendout resumes like nothing
happened.
People said things like, you'llbounce back.
You're so accomplished, you'llbe fine.
And my personal favorite, thisis probably a blessing in
disguise.
A layoff isn't just a change inemployment.
(05:32):
It is a rupture.
It messes with your sense ofself, your rhythm, your
security, your story.
And unless we name it, unless wehonor it, we risk recreating the
exact same pain in a differentjob.
So if you've been feeling tired,foggy, unmotivated, embarrassed,
angry, jealous, numb.
(05:55):
Let me say this clearly.
You are not broken.
You are grieving, and griefisn't just for death.
It's for anything that mattered.
Here's the truth.
Losing your job can trigger deepgrief, and that grief deserves
space.
Let's walk through what thisreally looks like so you can
(06:17):
stop blaming yourself and startreclaiming yourself and healing.
You already know you lost yourjob, but here are five things
you may not have realized youare also grieving.
Number one, the loss ofidentity.
You were someone there.
You had a role, a title, a clearanswer when someone asked, what
(06:39):
do you do.
Now?
It's murky and you may feelinvisible.
Number two, the loss of routine.
Your days had structure, arhythm, a reason to get up.
Now, mornings feel strange.
Evenings feel long timestretches in weird ways.
(07:00):
Number three, loss of community.
Coworkers you saw every day,maybe people who were part of
your daily life are suddenlygone.
No more casual check-ins, nomore.
Did you see that email?
It's quiet now.
Number four, loss of status orsafety.
(07:21):
Even if your job didn't defineyour worth, it probably provided
security.
There's embarrassment, there'suncertainty.
Maybe you're wondering whatpeople think or what happens if
this lasts longer than youplanned.
Number five, loss of momentum.
(07:41):
You were on a path.
Maybe you had goals, a growthplan, a vision for your next
move, and now.
The GPS is blank.
If any of these hit home, it isnot just in your head.
That disorientation, thatsadness, you can't quite name.
That's grief and the good news,once we name it, we can start to
(08:05):
move through it.
Grief isn't just about death,it's about losing anything that
mattered, and for a lot of us,our career mattered.
Our role, our schedule, our workfriendships, the title, the
parking spot, the daily routine.
It gave us structure andmeaning.
(08:27):
When that's gone, it is a kindof grief, and yet most people
never talk about it.
We power through.
We tell ourselves to get overit.
We apply for 15 jobs to feelproductive.
We pretend we're fine.
But just like any loss, if younever slow down to feel it, you
(08:48):
risk carrying it with you inways you don't even see.
I've worked with so many peoplewho took the first job that came
next because they wanted to stopfeeling so uncomfortable.
They wanted relief, but sixmonths later, they were stuck
again because they didn'treflect, they didn't heal, they
(09:12):
didn't grieve.
So if you are feelingunmotivated, confused, ashamed,
jealous, angry, numb, tired,foggy, that's not laziness.
That's grief, and it makessense, and you are not alone.
(09:33):
You may have heard of the fivestages of grief, denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, andacceptance.
They were first introduced bypsychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler
Ross, to describe how terminallyill patients process the reality
of death.
But these stages also show up inany kind of deep loss, including
(09:54):
one where you lose the job,rhythm, identity, and future you
thought you had.
Let's walk through them, not asa checklist, but as real
emotional landscapes that youmight find yourself moving
through or circling back to atany point.
Number one, denial.
This can't be happening.
(10:17):
You stare at the email, or youreplay that conversation in your
head.
You scroll job boards like arobot, you feel numb or weirdly
detached.
You might distract yourself withbusy work organizing files, or
rewriting your resume 12 times,obsessively cleaning the house,
(10:39):
or you might do nothing at all.
It's all normal.
Denial protects your system fromthe full weight of the reality.
It's your mind's way ofcushioning the blow.
We've been told that denial isavoidance, that it means you're
not strong enough to facereality.
That if you're still numb, stillspinning, still not ready to
(11:01):
update LinkedIn, you're somehowdoing this wrong.
But what if that's a lie?
What if denial isn't a sign ofweakness, but the intelligence
of your nervous system, doingexactly what it was designed to
do.
To keep you safe.
To give you a moment.
(11:22):
To create just enough spacebetween the impact and the
meaning so that you don'tcollapse under the weight of it
all.
See, when the layoff happens,your brain doesn't just receive
the news.
It experiences a threat.
The identity you held, thestructure you followed, the
(11:42):
security you leaned on, suddenlygone.
And in that moment, your bodydoesn't ask, what's my next
step?
It asks, am I safe?
And if the answer isn't clear,it does the next best thing.
It buys you time, it slowseverything down.
(12:04):
It says not yet.
Let's breathe first.
That's denial.
It's a pause, a holding pattern,a sacred stall that allows your
soul to catch up with yourcircumstances.
So if you've been feelingfrozen, don't shame yourself.
(12:26):
Honor the wisdom behind thestillness.
It's not that you're broken,it's that your system is wise.
And it knew, you needed a momentto land.
The trick, don't unpack and livethere, but don't rush the exit
either, because once your breathreturns, once your footing
(12:49):
steadies, you'll move.
And when you do, it won't bebecause someone told you to.
It'll be because you're readynot to run, but to rise.
What if denial isn't a sign ofweakness, but your nervous
system trying to keep you safewhile you catch your breath?
(13:10):
Let it.
Just don't stay here forever.
Number two, anger.
This isn't fair.
You trusted them.
You gave your best.
You made sacrifices, and nowyou're out.
You might rage at the company,your boss, HR or snap at your
(13:33):
partner, or you stew inresentment over a coworker who
stayed.
Anger isn't just about blame.
It's often pain in disguise.
It says, I cared.
Let yourself feel it.
Punch a pillow, take a drive,journal.
(13:53):
Move it through you.
I once worked with a brilliantscientist who screamed into a
towel every day for a week afterher layoff.
Then she started sculpting.
That sculpting turned into aside business.
The anger became art, andeventually her joy.
We've been told to suppressanger, to keep it quiet, to make
(14:16):
it polite, to smile and say it'sfine.
Even when we are screaminginside.
But what if that's backwards?
What if anger isn't a problem tofix, but a signal that something
meaningful was violated?
What if your rage isn'tirrational, but deeply
intelligent?
(14:37):
Because anger only shows up whensomething mattered.
It's the emotional flare thatsays, I gave something here.
I cared.
I sacrificed, I believed.
You don't get angry about thingsyou've never invested in.
You don't burn with emotion overthings that you never loved.
(14:59):
So if you're angry, it means youshowed up.
You gave your time, your energy,your ideas, your presence, you
went all in, and now your systemis trying to reconcile.
How could they let me go?
Why didn't it matter?
Where do I put this fire?
(15:21):
Here's the truth.
Anger is energy.
It is passion without a place toland, and it is not a sign that
you've lost control.
It's a sign that something deepwithin you still wants to fight
for meaning, still wants tocreate, still wants to matter,
but here's the shift.
(15:42):
Don't waste that fire burningbridges, use it to forge what's
next.
Rage.
Then write.
Cry, then create.
Yell into a towel, then sculptyour next chapter from the
ashes.
Anger doesn't make youunprofessional, it makes you
human.
(16:02):
And when you channel it, thatheat becomes power.
Imagine what your life would belike if your career aligned with
who you are, what you do best,and actually fueled the life you
want.
At Next Success, we support allages and stages through career
transitions from studentsexploring majors or careers to
(16:25):
job seekers actively searchingor re-imagining their next move
to professionals committed toself-awareness and leadership
growth.
Stay connected and explorewhat's possible at
nextsuccesscareers.com andfollow nextsuccessmethod on
LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram,and Facebook.
nextsuccesscareers.com You arelistening to Your Next Success
(16:48):
with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Let's continue the journey toyour authentic success.
Number three, bargaining.
Maybe if I adjust, this is themental hamster wheel.
If I had spoken up more, if I'dworked weekends, if I take a pay
cut, maybe they'll rehire me.
(17:09):
You rewrite history trying tomake it make sense, or you panic
apply to anything with apaycheck.
What if your worth was never inquestion?
You didn't fail.
The system did, or theeconomics.
Or the timing.
You are not broken.
You're just between chapters.
(17:30):
Bargaining is your mind graspingfor control.
Let it, but don't let it steer.
What if bargaining isn't aboutthe past, but your need for
control in the present?
You replay the scenes, theemails, the choices.
If only I'd worked harder.
(17:51):
If I hadn't taken that vacation.
If I reach out and say the rightthing, maybe they'll take me
back.
This is bargaining and we'vebeen taught it's desperation,
that it's weak, that it's stuckin the past.
But what if that's not true?
What if bargaining isn't reallyabout undoing the past, but
(18:12):
trying to make sense of a futurethat you didn't ask for?
Because here's what your brainis doing, it's looking for the
exit ramp from uncertainty.
It's trying to regain control.
It's saying, if I can just findthe missing piece, I'll feel
safe again.
(18:32):
But here's the truth, it's notthat you did something wrong,
it's that your nervous system isbegging for solid ground.
You're not weak, you are notnaive.
You are human.
Bargaining is a bridge betweenwhat was and what now.
(18:54):
It's the part of the story wherewe still think we can rewrite
the last chapter before werealize we are actually holding
the pen for the next one.
So let yourself question, letyourself wonder, but then ask,
what do I really want next?
What would it look like to buildsomething that I don't need to
(19:17):
beg to belong to?
Because you weren't meant toshrink and plead.
You were meant to rise andchoose.
Number four, depression.
I can't do this.
This is the valley where thingsfeel dark, slow, heavy.
(19:39):
You might sleep too much or notat all.
You lose track of time.
You stop answering texts.
You might cry randomly or feelnothing at all.
This isn't weakness, it's griefsettling in your bones.
This low is not the end, it'sthe clearing.
(20:03):
The fog that forces you to slowdown, look inward, and prepare
for something new.
You don't need to fix it.
You need to move through itmoment by moment.
What if this isn't depression,but deep processing that your
brain finally has space for.
(20:24):
You feel slow, foggy,unmotivated.
Like the world is moving andyou're underwater watching it
happen.
You scroll job boards but can'tmake yourself click apply.
You stare at the laundry and itjust stays there.
You wonder if maybe you're justlazy Now, if maybe this is who
(20:46):
you are, but what if that's notit?
What if what you're callingdepression isn't a sign that
you're falling apart, but asignal that your brain is
finally safe enough to feel whatit couldn't feel before.
Because while you were pushingthrough performing and holding
(21:08):
it all together, you nervoussystem was storing it.
And now without the pressure ofdaily deadlines, without the
calendar packed with a back toback meetings, without the mask
you wore every day just to keepup.
The truth, finally has space tospeak.
(21:29):
This isn't collapse.
It's processing.
It is your body doing what itwas designed to do when the
danger passed.
Let the grief out.
You don't need to fix yourself.
You don't need to hustle yourway back to productivity.
(21:50):
You just need to be here for aminute to feel it, to honor it,
to listen, because this isn'tthe end, it's the clearing.
It's the space before therebuild, and the fact that it
feels heavy, means it mattered.
You mattered.
(22:11):
Number five, acceptance.
It happened, now what.
This is when the fog starts tolift, you don't have all the
answers, but you're notresisting the truth anymore.
You start asking betterquestions.
What kind of work lights me up?
What parts of the job were neverreally me?
(22:34):
What does success look like now?
A former client of mine said.
I didn't just get my old jobback.
I got myself back.
That's acceptance.
It's not passive.
It's powerful.
What if acceptance isn't givingup, but rising into who you are
(22:55):
meant to be?
We hear the word acceptance andwe think it means surrender,
resignation, settling forscraps, but that is not it.
Acceptance isn't a white flag,it is a turning point.
It is the moment you stopwasting energy, wishing the past
(23:16):
were different, and startreclaiming your power to shape
what happens next.
Not because the pain is gone,not because you're suddenly okay
with how it all ended, butbecause you've decided this
moment will not define me, Iwill.
Acceptance doesn't mean youliked how it happened.
(23:38):
It means you've stoppedresisting the truth.
And from that place of radicalclarity and self-trust, you can
begin again.
This time more you than everbefore.
It's not passive, it's not soft.
It's one of the fiercest thingsyou'll ever do.
(24:01):
To say, I am still here.
I'm still breathing, and I getto choose what happens now.
That's not giving up, that'sbecoming.
Now, it's important to knowthese stages aren't linear.
They don't come up in order.
You might circle back, skipahead, freeze for a while.
(24:21):
That's normal.
Grief doesn't follow rules, butit does follow energy.
And as long as you keep showingup with curiosity, you're gonna
keep moving forward.
Now, let's ground this insomething tangible.
If you're listening to thisright now and nodding along,
this next piece is for you.
When your life shifts suddenlyyou need a moment to integrate,
(24:45):
to connect the dots between whoyou were and who you're
becoming.
So here's a powerful, gentlereflection exercise.
Take out a sheet of paper.
Write a letter to yourselftitled then and now.
Start with, before the layoff Iwas...
describe your days, what youbelieved, what you wanted, what
(25:08):
you tolerated.
Then after the layoff, I feel...
let it be raw, honest, messy.
And finally going forward, Iwant...
Not what you think you shouldwant.
Write what your gut says.
(25:29):
Write what your soul whisperswhen the world goes quiet.
It doesn't have to be polished.
You do not have to solve it alltoday, but let yourself see the
shift.
Honor the whole experience.
Name the shift, it gives youback your power.
It helps you stop running fromthe discomfort and start
(25:52):
listening to what it's trying toshow you.
You've been through a lot.
Let this be the moment you stoppretending you're fine, and
start honoring what's real.
Because when you do that, youstop running and start healing.
Think about it like this.
(26:13):
It is not just a job you lost.
It was a relationship, aroutine, a rhythm, a version of
yourself that had a home.
And it ended, but you didn't getto decide when or how.
You didn't get closure.
You didn't get to choose.
That's not just hard.
It's haunting.
It can feel like a breakup thatyou didn't see coming.
(26:34):
You're standing there holdingthe pain, the questions, the
loose ends.
If you had chosen to walk away,it would still sting, but at
least you'd have your reasons.
You'd have your dignity.
But when the decision is madefor you, it can feel like
betrayal, a rejection, a gutpunch.
(26:57):
But what if this ending wasactually a beginning?
Maybe it ended because it wasn'tthe right fit for you anymore.
Maybe it ended because it wasn'tright for you anymore.
We are taught to chase loyalty,to hold on, to make it work even
(27:17):
when the world no longer worksfor us.
So when a job ends not by yourchoice, it feels like rejection.
Like someone ripped awaysomething before you were ready.
Like a verdict on your value.
But what if life stepped in?
Not to punish you, but toprotect you.
(27:41):
What if you were never meant tostay?
What if your spirit had outgrownthe space?
Your gifts had outpaced therole.
And life, kind, fierce, andunflinching stepped in to do
what you wouldn't.
Maybe the layoff wasn't adetour.
(28:02):
Maybe it was a divine coursecorrection.
Maybe it ended because stayingwould've kept you small.
What if it's a forced pause soyou could see what you stopped
seeing.
That you were meant for more?
That the version of success youbuilt wasn't your version.
(28:23):
And what if you can nowunderstand with certainty you
were meant for more.
You get to choose again.
You're not being cast out, youare being called forward.
The grief isn't just for whatyou lost.
It's for all the potential thatyou didn't get to realize there,
(28:46):
and maybe, just maybe, youweren't meant to stay, you were
meant to grow.
And now, you get to choose whatyou want to explore next.
If you're still with me and youare feeling this episode in your
(29:06):
bones, here is what I want youto do today.
Grab your journal or downloadthe free workbook in the show
notes.
Answer these prompts.
What stages of grief am Icurrently in?
What emotions have I been tryingto suppress or ignore?
What have I been blaming myselffor that might not actually be
(29:27):
mine to carry?
What would compassion look likefor me.
Right now.
And then ask yourself, whatsmall act of kindness can I
offer myself today?
Who can I talk to that willreally get it?
(29:48):
What am I ready to let go of?
And what am I open todiscovering?
You don't need a 12 point plan.
You need one small move thatsays, I'm still here.
And I am still becoming.
Today we talked about whyskipping grief after a layoff
(30:09):
doesn't save you time, it stealsyour clarity.
The five hidden losses that mostpeople don't name, but
definitely feel the five stagesof grief and how they uniquely
show up in a career transition.
Why emotional overwhelm doesn'tmean you're broken.
It means something mattered.
And we talked about a simple,powerful reflection exercise to
(30:31):
begin reclaiming your voice,values and vision.
Remember to download the freereflection workbook linked in
the show notes.
It's gentle, it's structured,and it's here to help you
process this moment in a waythat builds clarity, not shame.
And if you know someone elsewho's grieving a layoff right
now, send them this episode.
(30:53):
You never know what sentencemight set someone free.
And if this is your first timehere, this episode is one of a
multi-part series (30:59):
after the layoff, now what?
So be sure to check out theother episodes.
Be sure to follow, subscribe,whatever you need to do so you
can get notified of our content.
Because in this season, we arenot just fixing resumes, we are
rebuilding lives from the insideout.
(31:19):
You are not crazy.
You are not weak.
You are not broken.
You are experiencing somethingvery real and very human.
This grief, it's the bridgebetween who you were and who
you're becoming.
And while it might not feel likeit yet, there is another side to
(31:44):
this.
The anger, the sadness, thenumbness, the anxiety, they are
all signals that you are wakingup.
You didn't lose your spark.
You're just in the dark part ofthe tunnel, and even here, you
are still moving.
So give yourself permission togrieve, to not have the plan
(32:06):
yet, to breathe.
Because you're not justrebuilding a career, you're
remembering who you are.
We're gonna start designingwhat's next, but for now.
Take a breath, pause.
Be here.
(32:27):
Feel what's real and know thisis part of the process.
You are not done.
You're just getting started.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to YourNext Success with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
(32:49):
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
If you've recently been laid off or if you're
staring down a transition thatyou didn't ask for, you might
feel this pressure to be okay,to bounce back quickly, to
update your resume, to tell yourfamily and friends"I've got
this" to go full speed aheadbecause slowing down feels like
(00:23):
failure, but what if that urgeto power through is actually
keeping you stuck?
What if trying to stay positivetoo soon isn't strength, but
spiritual suppression?
Because skipping the griefdoesn't save you time.
It steals your clarity, and Iget it.
(00:45):
Grief is messy.
It's not what we post about onLinkedIn.
No one tells you to honor yourheartbreak after a restructure.
But you can't build your nextsuccess if you're still carrying
the silent shame of the lastchapter.
Today, I wanna talk about thepart no one prepares you for.
(01:07):
Not the resume or the interviewprep or the job boards, but the
emotional aftermath, thedisorientation.
The spiral, the numbness, theidentity unraveling that happens
when your career gets ripped outfrom under you.
This episode might feel tender.
(01:27):
It might feel real.
It might feel like someonefinally named what you've been
trying to carry all by yourself,and that's the point.
Because this part, it matters.
Have you ever wondered, is thisit?
That question is the beginningof Your Next Success.
(01:52):
this podcast is your space topause, reflect, and create the
career and life you were madefor.
We explore real stories,intentional transitions, and
practical insights to help youstep into alignment, purpose and
peace.
Tune in and begin your nextsuccess.
(02:16):
let's talk about what you'rereally going through and how to
move through it with power,purpose, and peace.
In this episode of your NextSuccess, we are digging into
what happens emotionally after alayoff or a major job
transition.
Why grief after job loss is realand necessary.
The five hidden losses no onewarns you about.
(02:38):
How unprocessed grief canquietly sabotage your next move.
The five stages of grief.
Yeah.
They show up in careers too.
And a powerful reflection thatcan help you move from confusion
to clarity because your worthdidn't disappear with your job
title and what you feel rightnow.
(02:59):
It isn't weakness, it's thebeginning of something new.
What if what you're experiencingisn't a breakdown, but a natural
necessary step in becoming whoyou're meant to be next?
We tend to think grief onlyhappens when we lose a loved
one, but losing a job.
(03:21):
Especially one that shaped yourroutine, your identity, and your
sense of purpose.
It can hit just as hard.
You might think you're not beingstrong by brushing it off,
moving on, staying positive,jumping into job boards the next
day.
So if you're feeling all overthe place, if one day you're
hopeful and the next you'respiraling, that's not weakness,
(03:43):
it's grief.
And understanding it might justgive you the power to move
through it.
Because here's the truth,skipping the grief doesn't save
you time.
It steals your clarity.
Because the pain, the shame, theidentity unraveling, it all has
something to teach you.
(04:05):
You don't need to stay in griefforever, but you do need to walk
through it.
Today we're talking about thepart no one wants to talk about,
the emotional aftermath oflosing your job, the grief, the
fear, the pressure to perform orbounce back immediately.
Let's talk about the grief aftera layoff and how to come out
(04:27):
stronger on the other side.
When I was laid off, I expectedto feel stressed.
What I didn't expect was theidentity crisis.
I expected to feel worried,maybe even embarrassed.
I didn't expect the flood ofemotions.
I didn't expect to stare at mycomputer screen for three hours
(04:47):
straight, unable to even open asingle job board.
I didn't expect the brain fog,the shame, or the strange
emptiness in the middle of theday.
The tension in my chest.
I wasn't just unemployed, I feltuntethered, and no one talked
about that part.
Layoffs aren't just logical,they're emotional, and yet we're
(05:11):
often encouraged to powerthrough to keep our heads up, to
slap on a brave face and sendout resumes like nothing
happened.
People said things like, you'llbounce back.
You're so accomplished, you'llbe fine.
And my personal favorite, thisis probably a blessing in
disguise.
A layoff isn't just a change inemployment.
(05:32):
It is a rupture.
It messes with your sense ofself, your rhythm, your
security, your story.
And unless we name it, unless wehonor it, we risk recreating the
exact same pain in a differentjob.
So if you've been feeling tired,foggy, unmotivated, embarrassed,
angry, jealous, numb.
(05:55):
Let me say this clearly.
You are not broken.
You are grieving, and griefisn't just for death.
It's for anything that mattered.
Here's the truth.
Losing your job can trigger deepgrief, and that grief deserves
space.
Let's walk through what thisreally looks like so you can
(06:17):
stop blaming yourself and startreclaiming yourself and healing.
You already know you lost yourjob, but here are five things
you may not have realized youare also grieving.
Number one, the loss ofidentity.
You were someone there.
You had a role, a title, a clearanswer when someone asked, what
(06:39):
do you do.
Now?
It's murky and you may feelinvisible.
Number two, the loss of routine.
Your days had structure, arhythm, a reason to get up.
Now, mornings feel strange.
Evenings feel long timestretches in weird ways.
(07:00):
Number three, loss of community.
Coworkers you saw every day,maybe people who were part of
your daily life are suddenlygone.
No more casual check-ins, nomore.
Did you see that email?
It's quiet now.
Number four, loss of status orsafety.
(07:21):
Even if your job didn't defineyour worth, it probably provided
security.
There's embarrassment, there'suncertainty.
Maybe you're wondering whatpeople think or what happens if
this lasts longer than youplanned.
Number five, loss of momentum.
(07:41):
You were on a path.
Maybe you had goals, a growthplan, a vision for your next
move, and now.
The GPS is blank.
If any of these hit home, it isnot just in your head.
That disorientation, thatsadness, you can't quite name.
That's grief and the good news,once we name it, we can start to
(08:05):
move through it.
Grief isn't just about death,it's about losing anything that
mattered, and for a lot of us,our career mattered.
Our role, our schedule, our workfriendships, the title, the
parking spot, the daily routine.
It gave us structure andmeaning.
(08:27):
When that's gone, it is a kindof grief, and yet most people
never talk about it.
We power through.
We tell ourselves to get overit.
We apply for 15 jobs to feelproductive.
We pretend we're fine.
But just like any loss, if younever slow down to feel it, you
(08:48):
risk carrying it with you inways you don't even see.
I've worked with so many peoplewho took the first job that came
next because they wanted to stopfeeling so uncomfortable.
They wanted relief, but sixmonths later, they were stuck
again because they didn'treflect, they didn't heal, they
(09:12):
didn't grieve.
So if you are feelingunmotivated, confused, ashamed,
jealous, angry, numb, tired,foggy, that's not laziness.
That's grief, and it makessense, and you are not alone.
(09:33):
You may have heard of the fivestages of grief, denial, anger,
bargaining, depression, andacceptance.
They were first introduced bypsychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler
Ross, to describe how terminallyill patients process the reality
of death.
But these stages also show up inany kind of deep loss, including
(09:54):
one where you lose the job,rhythm, identity, and future you
thought you had.
Let's walk through them, not asa checklist, but as real
emotional landscapes that youmight find yourself moving
through or circling back to atany point.
Number one, denial.
This can't be happening.
(10:17):
You stare at the email, or youreplay that conversation in your
head.
You scroll job boards like arobot, you feel numb or weirdly
detached.
You might distract yourself withbusy work organizing files, or
rewriting your resume 12 times,obsessively cleaning the house,
(10:39):
or you might do nothing at all.
It's all normal.
Denial protects your system fromthe full weight of the reality.
It's your mind's way ofcushioning the blow.
We've been told that denial isavoidance, that it means you're
not strong enough to facereality.
That if you're still numb, stillspinning, still not ready to
(11:01):
update LinkedIn, you're somehowdoing this wrong.
But what if that's a lie?
What if denial isn't a sign ofweakness, but the intelligence
of your nervous system, doingexactly what it was designed to
do.
To keep you safe.
To give you a moment.
(11:22):
To create just enough spacebetween the impact and the
meaning so that you don'tcollapse under the weight of it
all.
See, when the layoff happens,your brain doesn't just receive
the news.
It experiences a threat.
The identity you held, thestructure you followed, the
(11:42):
security you leaned on, suddenlygone.
And in that moment, your bodydoesn't ask, what's my next
step?
It asks, am I safe?
And if the answer isn't clear,it does the next best thing.
It buys you time, it slowseverything down.
(12:04):
It says not yet.
Let's breathe first.
That's denial.
It's a pause, a holding pattern,a sacred stall that allows your
soul to catch up with yourcircumstances.
So if you've been feelingfrozen, don't shame yourself.
(12:26):
Honor the wisdom behind thestillness.
It's not that you're broken,it's that your system is wise.
And it knew, you needed a momentto land.
The trick, don't unpack and livethere, but don't rush the exit
either, because once your breathreturns, once your footing
(12:49):
steadies, you'll move.
And when you do, it won't bebecause someone told you to.
It'll be because you're readynot to run, but to rise.
What if denial isn't a sign ofweakness, but your nervous
system trying to keep you safewhile you catch your breath?
(13:10):
Let it.
Just don't stay here forever.
Number two, anger.
This isn't fair.
You trusted them.
You gave your best.
You made sacrifices, and nowyou're out.
You might rage at the company,your boss, HR or snap at your
(13:33):
partner, or you stew inresentment over a coworker who
stayed.
Anger isn't just about blame.
It's often pain in disguise.
It says, I cared.
Let yourself feel it.
Punch a pillow, take a drive,journal.
(13:53):
Move it through you.
I once worked with a brilliantscientist who screamed into a
towel every day for a week afterher layoff.
Then she started sculpting.
That sculpting turned into aside business.
The anger became art, andeventually her joy.
We've been told to suppressanger, to keep it quiet, to make
(14:16):
it polite, to smile and say it'sfine.
Even when we are screaminginside.
But what if that's backwards?
What if anger isn't a problem tofix, but a signal that something
meaningful was violated?
What if your rage isn'tirrational, but deeply
intelligent?
(14:37):
Because anger only shows up whensomething mattered.
It's the emotional flare thatsays, I gave something here.
I cared.
I sacrificed, I believed.
You don't get angry about thingsyou've never invested in.
You don't burn with emotion overthings that you never loved.
(14:59):
So if you're angry, it means youshowed up.
You gave your time, your energy,your ideas, your presence, you
went all in, and now your systemis trying to reconcile.
How could they let me go?
Why didn't it matter?
Where do I put this fire?
(15:21):
Here's the truth.
Anger is energy.
It is passion without a place toland, and it is not a sign that
you've lost control.
It's a sign that something deepwithin you still wants to fight
for meaning, still wants tocreate, still wants to matter,
but here's the shift.
(15:42):
Don't waste that fire burningbridges, use it to forge what's
next.
Rage.
Then write.
Cry, then create.
Yell into a towel, then sculptyour next chapter from the
ashes.
Anger doesn't make youunprofessional, it makes you
human.
(16:02):
And when you channel it, thatheat becomes power.
Imagine what your life would belike if your career aligned with
who you are, what you do best,and actually fueled the life you
want.
At Next Success, we support allages and stages through career
transitions from studentsexploring majors or careers to
(16:25):
job seekers actively searchingor re-imagining their next move
to professionals committed toself-awareness and leadership
growth.
Stay connected and explorewhat's possible at
nextsuccesscareers.com andfollow nextsuccessmethod on
LinkedIn, YouTube, Instagram,and Facebook.
nextsuccesscareers.com You arelistening to Your Next Success
(16:48):
with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Let's continue the journey toyour authentic success.
Number three, bargaining.
Maybe if I adjust, this is themental hamster wheel.
If I had spoken up more, if I'dworked weekends, if I take a pay
cut, maybe they'll rehire me.
(17:09):
You rewrite history trying tomake it make sense, or you panic
apply to anything with apaycheck.
What if your worth was never inquestion?
You didn't fail.
The system did, or theeconomics.
Or the timing.
You are not broken.
You're just between chapters.
(17:30):
Bargaining is your mind graspingfor control.
Let it, but don't let it steer.
What if bargaining isn't aboutthe past, but your need for
control in the present?
You replay the scenes, theemails, the choices.
If only I'd worked harder.
(17:51):
If I hadn't taken that vacation.
If I reach out and say the rightthing, maybe they'll take me
back.
This is bargaining and we'vebeen taught it's desperation,
that it's weak, that it's stuckin the past.
But what if that's not true?
What if bargaining isn't reallyabout undoing the past, but
(18:12):
trying to make sense of a futurethat you didn't ask for?
Because here's what your brainis doing, it's looking for the
exit ramp from uncertainty.
It's trying to regain control.
It's saying, if I can just findthe missing piece, I'll feel
safe again.
(18:32):
But here's the truth, it's notthat you did something wrong,
it's that your nervous system isbegging for solid ground.
You're not weak, you are notnaive.
You are human.
Bargaining is a bridge betweenwhat was and what now.
(18:54):
It's the part of the story wherewe still think we can rewrite
the last chapter before werealize we are actually holding
the pen for the next one.
So let yourself question, letyourself wonder, but then ask,
what do I really want next?
What would it look like to buildsomething that I don't need to
(19:17):
beg to belong to?
Because you weren't meant toshrink and plead.
You were meant to rise andchoose.
Number four, depression.
I can't do this.
This is the valley where thingsfeel dark, slow, heavy.
(19:39):
You might sleep too much or notat all.
You lose track of time.
You stop answering texts.
You might cry randomly or feelnothing at all.
This isn't weakness, it's griefsettling in your bones.
This low is not the end, it'sthe clearing.
(20:03):
The fog that forces you to slowdown, look inward, and prepare
for something new.
You don't need to fix it.
You need to move through itmoment by moment.
What if this isn't depression,but deep processing that your
brain finally has space for.
(20:24):
You feel slow, foggy,unmotivated.
Like the world is moving andyou're underwater watching it
happen.
You scroll job boards but can'tmake yourself click apply.
You stare at the laundry and itjust stays there.
You wonder if maybe you're justlazy Now, if maybe this is who
(20:46):
you are, but what if that's notit?
What if what you're callingdepression isn't a sign that
you're falling apart, but asignal that your brain is
finally safe enough to feel whatit couldn't feel before.
Because while you were pushingthrough performing and holding
(21:08):
it all together, you nervoussystem was storing it.
And now without the pressure ofdaily deadlines, without the
calendar packed with a back toback meetings, without the mask
you wore every day just to keepup.
The truth, finally has space tospeak.
(21:29):
This isn't collapse.
It's processing.
It is your body doing what itwas designed to do when the
danger passed.
Let the grief out.
You don't need to fix yourself.
You don't need to hustle yourway back to productivity.
(21:50):
You just need to be here for aminute to feel it, to honor it,
to listen, because this isn'tthe end, it's the clearing.
It's the space before therebuild, and the fact that it
feels heavy, means it mattered.
You mattered.
(22:11):
Number five, acceptance.
It happened, now what.
This is when the fog starts tolift, you don't have all the
answers, but you're notresisting the truth anymore.
You start asking betterquestions.
What kind of work lights me up?
What parts of the job were neverreally me?
(22:34):
What does success look like now?
A former client of mine said.
I didn't just get my old jobback.
I got myself back.
That's acceptance.
It's not passive.
It's powerful.
What if acceptance isn't givingup, but rising into who you are
(22:55):
meant to be?
We hear the word acceptance andwe think it means surrender,
resignation, settling forscraps, but that is not it.
Acceptance isn't a white flag,it is a turning point.
It is the moment you stopwasting energy, wishing the past
(23:16):
were different, and startreclaiming your power to shape
what happens next.
Not because the pain is gone,not because you're suddenly okay
with how it all ended, butbecause you've decided this
moment will not define me, Iwill.
Acceptance doesn't mean youliked how it happened.
(23:38):
It means you've stoppedresisting the truth.
And from that place of radicalclarity and self-trust, you can
begin again.
This time more you than everbefore.
It's not passive, it's not soft.
It's one of the fiercest thingsyou'll ever do.
(24:01):
To say, I am still here.
I'm still breathing, and I getto choose what happens now.
That's not giving up, that'sbecoming.
Now, it's important to knowthese stages aren't linear.
They don't come up in order.
You might circle back, skipahead, freeze for a while.
(24:21):
That's normal.
Grief doesn't follow rules, butit does follow energy.
And as long as you keep showingup with curiosity, you're gonna
keep moving forward.
Now, let's ground this insomething tangible.
If you're listening to thisright now and nodding along,
this next piece is for you.
When your life shifts suddenlyyou need a moment to integrate,
(24:45):
to connect the dots between whoyou were and who you're
becoming.
So here's a powerful, gentlereflection exercise.
Take out a sheet of paper.
Write a letter to yourselftitled then and now.
Start with, before the layoff Iwas...
describe your days, what youbelieved, what you wanted, what
(25:08):
you tolerated.
Then after the layoff, I feel...
let it be raw, honest, messy.
And finally going forward, Iwant...
Not what you think you shouldwant.
Write what your gut says.
(25:29):
Write what your soul whisperswhen the world goes quiet.
It doesn't have to be polished.
You do not have to solve it alltoday, but let yourself see the
shift.
Honor the whole experience.
Name the shift, it gives youback your power.
It helps you stop running fromthe discomfort and start
(25:52):
listening to what it's trying toshow you.
You've been through a lot.
Let this be the moment you stoppretending you're fine, and
start honoring what's real.
Because when you do that, youstop running and start healing.
Think about it like this.
(26:13):
It is not just a job you lost.
It was a relationship, aroutine, a rhythm, a version of
yourself that had a home.
And it ended, but you didn't getto decide when or how.
You didn't get closure.
You didn't get to choose.
That's not just hard.
It's haunting.
It can feel like a breakup thatyou didn't see coming.
(26:34):
You're standing there holdingthe pain, the questions, the
loose ends.
If you had chosen to walk away,it would still sting, but at
least you'd have your reasons.
You'd have your dignity.
But when the decision is madefor you, it can feel like
betrayal, a rejection, a gutpunch.
(26:57):
But what if this ending wasactually a beginning?
Maybe it ended because it wasn'tthe right fit for you anymore.
Maybe it ended because it wasn'tright for you anymore.
We are taught to chase loyalty,to hold on, to make it work even
(27:17):
when the world no longer worksfor us.
So when a job ends not by yourchoice, it feels like rejection.
Like someone ripped awaysomething before you were ready.
Like a verdict on your value.
But what if life stepped in?
Not to punish you, but toprotect you.
(27:41):
What if you were never meant tostay?
What if your spirit had outgrownthe space?
Your gifts had outpaced therole.
And life, kind, fierce, andunflinching stepped in to do
what you wouldn't.
Maybe the layoff wasn't adetour.
(28:02):
Maybe it was a divine coursecorrection.
Maybe it ended because stayingwould've kept you small.
What if it's a forced pause soyou could see what you stopped
seeing.
That you were meant for more?
That the version of success youbuilt wasn't your version.
(28:23):
And what if you can nowunderstand with certainty you
were meant for more.
You get to choose again.
You're not being cast out, youare being called forward.
The grief isn't just for whatyou lost.
It's for all the potential thatyou didn't get to realize there,
(28:46):
and maybe, just maybe, youweren't meant to stay, you were
meant to grow.
And now, you get to choose whatyou want to explore next.
If you're still with me and youare feeling this episode in your
(29:06):
bones, here is what I want youto do today.
Grab your journal or downloadthe free workbook in the show
notes.
Answer these prompts.
What stages of grief am Icurrently in?
What emotions have I been tryingto suppress or ignore?
What have I been blaming myselffor that might not actually be
(29:27):
mine to carry?
What would compassion look likefor me.
Right now.
And then ask yourself, whatsmall act of kindness can I
offer myself today?
Who can I talk to that willreally get it?
(29:48):
What am I ready to let go of?
And what am I open todiscovering?
You don't need a 12 point plan.
You need one small move thatsays, I'm still here.
And I am still becoming.
Today we talked about whyskipping grief after a layoff
(30:09):
doesn't save you time, it stealsyour clarity.
The five hidden losses that mostpeople don't name, but
definitely feel the five stagesof grief and how they uniquely
show up in a career transition.
Why emotional overwhelm doesn'tmean you're broken.
It means something mattered.
And we talked about a simple,powerful reflection exercise to
(30:31):
begin reclaiming your voice,values and vision.
Remember to download the freereflection workbook linked in
the show notes.
It's gentle, it's structured,and it's here to help you
process this moment in a waythat builds clarity, not shame.
And if you know someone elsewho's grieving a layoff right
now, send them this episode.
(30:53):
You never know what sentencemight set someone free.
And if this is your first timehere, this episode is one of a
multi-part series (30:59):
after the layoff, now what?
So be sure to check out theother episodes.
Be sure to follow, subscribe,whatever you need to do so you
can get notified of our content.
Because in this season, we arenot just fixing resumes, we are
rebuilding lives from the insideout.
(31:19):
You are not crazy.
You are not weak.
You are not broken.
You are experiencing somethingvery real and very human.
This grief, it's the bridgebetween who you were and who
you're becoming.
And while it might not feel likeit yet, there is another side to
(31:44):
this.
The anger, the sadness, thenumbness, the anxiety, they are
all signals that you are wakingup.
You didn't lose your spark.
You're just in the dark part ofthe tunnel, and even here, you
are still moving.
So give yourself permission togrieve, to not have the plan
(32:06):
yet, to breathe.
Because you're not justrebuilding a career, you're
remembering who you are.
We're gonna start designingwhat's next, but for now.
Take a breath, pause.
Be here.
(32:27):
Feel what's real and know thisis part of the process.
You are not done.
You're just getting started.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to YourNext Success with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
(32:49):
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
Popular Podcasts
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com