July 9, 2025 • 28 mins
Today we’re diving deep into what it means to reach for control in your life and career and how often that’s actually holding you back from what you truly want.
We explore why questioning your path might be more normal, and more important, than you’ve ever given yourself credit for. We’ll also look at how to begin listening to that quiet voice inside you, your gut, intuition, or maybe God that’s been gently nudging you all along.
In this episode, you’ll hear about:
- The illusion of control and why it’s so tempting to chase
- How reacting vs. responding changes everything about how you navigate uncertainty
- Why feeling restless or questioning your career is often a sign you’re exactly on time for your next evolution
- The predictable turning points when most people start asking if they’re still on the right path
- How to start noticing what your body and soul are telling you — so you can live more aligned, more alive, and more fully yourself
If you’re feeling an ache for something more, this episode is here to help you slow down, pay attention, and take the next small step toward what truly matters to you.
Want support as you explore what’s next? Visit nextsuccesscareers.com or reach out directly. I’d love to hear your story, your questions, and what you’re dreaming about.
Subscribe to Your Next Success so you never miss an episode.
Watch full video episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NextSuccessMethod/
Learn more about Next Success www.nextsuccesscareers.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Today we are exploring whathappens when life reminds us how
little we actually control, whyquestioning your path might be
more normal and more importantthan you've ever given yourself
credit for, and how to startlistening to that quiet voice
inside that's been nudging youall along.
Caroline (00:27):
Welcome to Your Next Success, the podcast that helps
you break free from paths thatno longer fit and step into the
life and career you weredesigned for.
I am Dr.
Caroline Sangal, and around herewe don't believe success is one
size fits all.
We believe it's personal,powerful, and deeply aligned
(00:48):
because the goal isn't toimpress the world.
It is to live fully as theperson you were created to be.
Before we dive in, I want toinvite you to simply be here for
a moment.
Maybe take a deep breath, inthrough your nose and then let
(01:08):
it all go.
Today we are talking about theillusion of control.
How easily we fool ourselvesinto believing that we can
manage, predict, safeguard everypart of our lives, but it's also
about something even moreintimate, how we respond, not
just react.
(01:28):
How we learn to truly listen tothat still small voice inside
that's been whispering:"thisisn't it" long before the
external storms ever came.
By the end of this conversation,my hope is simply that you'll
feel a little more clear aboutwhat's truly yours to shape and
(01:53):
what isn't.
And maybe just maybe you'll feelinspired to start nurturing what
has been quietly waiting insideyou all along.
It's humbling, isn't it?
How easily we believe that weare in control.
That floods literal ormetaphorical happen somewhere
else, to someone else until theyare right at our doorstep,
(02:19):
forcing us to see how fragileour illusions really are, and
it's not just nature thatshatters our illusion of
control, it's the layoffs youdidn't see coming.
It's the relationship thatblindsides you, the diagnosis
that reroutes everything.
We try so hard to build ourlives to be secure, predictable,
(02:42):
protected, but control is such adelicate thread, and what I want
to explore is how that's notentirely bad news because while
we may not control the rivers orthe storms or the twists of
fate, there is something farmore profound that is ours to
(03:02):
shape.
As I was planning out thisepisode, I came across a story
on LinkedIn.
It was from Dan Zadra's book,Five: where will you be five
years from today?
Now I admit I haven't read thewhole book, just this fragment
that someone posted, butsometimes a fragment is enough
to lodge itself deep inside ofyou.
(03:25):
It goes something like this.
Picture an old man lying in aquiet room.
He knows he's near the end ofhis life.
His breath has that slow unevenrhythm that tells you there
aren't many left.
The room is dim.
Sunlight is trying to reachthrough the curtains.
(03:47):
There's a faint scent of flowersfrom visitors who came to say
goodbye.
He's alone with his memoriesuntil suddenly the room begins
to fill and at first he thinksmaybe these are friends from
childhood coming to sit with meone last time, and he tries to
smile, reaching out a tremblinghand.
(04:09):
But then one by one, they stepcloser and he sees that their
faces are unfamiliar and theybegin to speak.
"We are your dreams.
We are your ideas.
We are your talents.
We are your untapped potential."Their voices are soft, but
(04:30):
somehow fill every corner of theroom.
They're calm, not angry, notaccusing, but there's a sadness
there too.
"We came to you because only youcould bring us to life." Take a
moment and let that sink inbecause we all have them, don't
(04:54):
we?
The things that knock on ourhearts in quiet moments.
The things that whisper, Hey,remember me, I'm still here.
And then these figures, thesepossibilities lived only in him.
They say something that sends achill through his already fading
body,"And now we must die withyou because you never acted on
(05:21):
us." Can you imagine?
To come to the end of your daysand realize that all of those
ideas, those secret hopes, thatart, that difference you were
meant to make, dies with you?
Because no one else could livethem for you?
(05:42):
Who's standing in the corners ofyour mind right now?
What unlived dreams are quietlywatching, hoping that you'll
notice them before it's toolate?
Is it a book that wants to bewritten?
A place that keeps pulling atyour heart, begging you to come
explore?
(06:03):
A business that could servepeople in ways only you can?
A relationship that needstending or one that needs to
finally be released so you canboth breathe?
And here's something even moreprofound.
Maybe it's not about doing atall.
Maybe it's about becoming thecalmer, kinder version of you
(06:28):
who laughs more easily.
The parent who's truly present,the human who's less tangled in
proving, performing, andchasing, because all of that,
that's inside of you too.
Waiting, hoping that you willmake space for it to come alive.
(06:50):
So just notice for a moment whatarises in you as I say this?
Is there a tightness in yourchest, a flutter in your
stomach, a warmth, a grief, aspark?
All of those are signs thatsomething inside you is stirring
(07:10):
something still alive, stillpossible, still yours.
If you were lying there likethat old man and your dreams
gathered around you, what wouldthey say?
Would they thank you for givingthem breath, for letting them
out into the world?
(07:31):
Or would they look at you withsoft, aching eyes and whisper:
"now we must go with you,because you never chose us."
This isn't meant to scare you,it is meant to remind you that
there is still possibility,still choice, still meaning to
(07:52):
be uncovered right here and now.
You are still here, stillbreathing, still entirely
capable of saying yes to what'swaiting.
And maybe this is exactly whyI've been so drawn lately to the
work of Cortney McDermott.
She is someone I had theprivilege to meet almost two
(08:13):
months ago at the Women Life andScience Conference I attended in
Greenville, South Carolina.
Cortney was the keynote speakerthat day and her energy and her
clarity cut through all thenoise I didn't even realize I
was carrying.
Since we met she's become afriend and a mentor, someone
whose ideas keep finding theirway back to me exactly when I
(08:34):
seem to need them the most.
Cortney is known all over theworld for guiding people into a
new life- expanding relationshipwith their own minds and bodies.
She shared her work on stageslike TEDx Mindvalley, Oxford,
even on Richard Branson'sprivate island, inviting people
(08:56):
to trust their intuition, leadfrom within and step into spaces
of possibility that they may nothave explored otherwise.
What I love is how she combinesneuroscience, timeless wisdom,
and grounded practice so thatpeople don't just hear new
ideas, they actually feel them,start to embody them, and carry
(09:20):
them forward into how they leadand live.
In her bestselling books, giveYourself Permission and Change
Starts Within You.
She speaks directly to thisspace.
Your dreams, your talents, yourhidden longings, they are not
waiting on perfect timing.
They're waiting on you.
Waiting on you to give yourselfpermission, to pause long enough
(09:44):
to listen.
To decide maybe for the firsttime in a long time that you
don't have to keep living by oldscripts.
It's okay to question, to pivot,to choose again.
Cortney often says that it allstarts inside, not out there in
(10:05):
your circumstances.
Not with who finally recognizesyou or how the market moves or
what your industry does next.
Real lasting change startswithin you and the beautiful
hard truth is only you can openthat door, because once you give
(10:26):
yourself that permission, onceyou start listening, the next
piece is just as vital.
How do you actually respondinstead of just react?
How do you trust that stillsmall voice inside long enough
to let it guide your next step.
(11:31):
Welcome back to the Your NextSuccess podcast.
So after Cortney's reminder thatpermission starts inside, you
might feel something stirring.
A quiet urgency, maybe even abit of panic and here's where
most people slip right back intoold patterns because when we are
(11:52):
confronted with how fragile lifereally is, when we see how
easily everything can change,our brains often default to
reacting.
We scramble.
We grasp for any illusion ofcontrol, and we think"I have to
fix everything right now.
(12:12):
Maybe if I double down at work,I'll feel safe again.
Maybe if I just keep pushingthis uneasy feeling down, it'll
eventually go away." Reaction isfast, tense, and it is driven by
fear, urgency that gnawing sensethat if you don't do something
this instant, it might all fallapart.
(12:34):
It's like standing in a floodand trying to push the water
back with your bare hands,frantic, exhausting, hopeless.
But responding?
Responding is something entirelydifferent.
Responding is slower.
It's rooted.
It doesn't ignore the reality ofthe storm, but it also doesn't
(12:56):
let the storm dictate your soul.
Responding means choosing yournext move from a calm wise place
inside.
The part of you that knows whatactually matters, that sees the
bigger picture, and that truststhat you can weather it.
So how often have you beenreacting when what you really
(13:20):
needed was to respond?
Responding starts withlistening, not to the chaos
outside, not to the noise ofeveryone else's expectations,
but to that still small voiceinside you.
Some people call it gutinstinct, some call it
intuition.
(13:41):
For me, it feels like God'swhisper.
It's subtle.
It's easily drowned out by to-dolists, social media, the
constant dopamine hits ofstaying busy.
But if you get quiet enough, ifyou give even a sliver of space,
it's still there.
Maybe it's saying,"This isn'tit.
(14:04):
You were made for more.
Why are you spending so much ofyour precious life chasing
someone else's dream?" Slowdown.
Come back home to yourself.
So just pause and notice whatcomes up, what comes up in your
body as I ask.
(14:25):
What about your dreams, yourlongings?
What about the possibility ofchoosing a new way?
Do you feel something tighten orlighten?
Is there a tug in your heart, aflutter in your belly?
Because often your body knowslong before your mind catches
(14:47):
up.
I've seen this over and overwith people that I work with,
high achievers, leaders,parents, dreamers, students.
They come to me because on theoutside they're holding it all
together, but on the insidethere is a quiet ache.
A sense that they've beenreacting their entire lives,
(15:09):
checking boxes, hitting goals,and trying to control everything
so that they feel safe and yetsomehow still feeling strangely
unsafe because reacting doesn'tbuild security.
It just creates more spinning.
And maybe in all that doing,they haven't actually stopped to
(15:31):
ask what they really want.
Maybe they don't know what'snext, or they've been following
someone else's definition ofsuccess, a version that never
really fit but felt safer thanquestioning it.
What about them?
Their voice, their thoughts?
Their vision for what life couldbe, and what about you?
(15:54):
Your voice, your thoughts, yourdreams, and your vision for what
life could be?
Responding on the other hand,it's where everything starts to
change.
Responding, invites you topause, to feel, to listen, to
decide what actually matters andmove from there.
(16:17):
I want to show you how all ofthis, the reacting, the quiet
ache, the wondering what istruly yours, ties into something
almost everyone wrestles with.
Questioning your career, yourpath, your very definition of
success.
Because maybe right now you arein a season of questioning.
Maybe it feels like uncertaintyor even like failure.
(16:39):
But what if it's none of those?
What if it is simply the doorwayto something far more aligned?
Let's lean into this next layertogether, because maybe right
now you may be feelingunsettled, like you're standing
in a hallway between what's beenand what could be.
(17:00):
Maybe you've been questioningyour career, wondering if the
ladder you've been climbing iseven leaning against a wall that
you truly want to scale.
Or maybe it's bigger than that.
Maybe it's your entire life'srhythm that feels off, like
something important is missing,even if you can't name it yet.
(17:22):
Here's what I really want you tohear and take in at the deepest
level.
Feeling unsettled, questioningyour path, wondering if all this
striving is really leadingsomewhere meaningful, doesn't
mean something's wrong with you.
It doesn't mean you failed.
It doesn't mean you'reungrateful.
(17:43):
It actually means you are awaketo your own life.
You care enough to payattention.
That you are exactly where youneed to be to start exploring
what could be even more aligned,more alive, and more fully
yours.
Because the truth is,questioning your path, including
(18:05):
your life and career is part ofbeing fully alive.
In all my research about careerchanges I've learned questioning
your career is normal.
And it happens at remarkablypredictable times.
We can call them turning points.
Now, these are natural cycleswhere life seems to pause, look
you in the eyes and say,"are yousure?
(18:28):
Do you wanna keep going thisway?
Or is it time to shift?" Formany people, this questioning
starts at around 18, when you'resuddenly expected to pick a
major, a path, an entire future,then it hits again around age
22.
You're fresh out of school, andwhen you move from ideas into
reality and realize, wait, isthis really what I want?
(18:51):
Is this who I want to be?
And then it continues everyseven to 10 years.
It's like a built in lifereview, and it shows up whether
your life looks wildlysuccessful on paper or is still
a work in progress.
These moments aren't failures.
They are invitations.
(19:12):
Sometimes they arrive afteryou've achieved something big.
The job title you chased foryears, the milestone house, the
long anticipated income level,and then instead of the lasting
fulfillment that you expected,there's this quiet, almost
embarrassing letdown.
"Is this all?
Is this it?" Or it happens whenyour kids reach new stages, they
(19:37):
start driving, they graduate,they move out, and suddenly you
are standing in a quiet kitchen.
Realizing you poured so much ofyourself into raising them, that
you lost pieces of your ownidentity along the way.
Or maybe it's driven by a changeyou didn't choose.
A layoff.
A reorg, an industry shift thatleaves your once sought after
(19:59):
skills, feeling dated overnight,or a health scare that makes you
and your own mortalityuncomfortably real.
I've seen this again and againwith the people that I've worked
with, high performers, leaders,people who, from the outside,
look dialed in, accomplished andsecure.
But inside there's a gentle orsometimes screaming question,"is
(20:26):
this really what I want?
Is this the impact I am meant tomake?
Is this how I wanna feel dayafter day, year after year?" And
here is what's so achinglyhuman.
Most people assume that ifthey're questioning things, then
they must have screwed upsomewhere, or worse that they're
(20:46):
ungrateful because with all oftheir accomplishments, shouldn't
they just be happy?
Seriously?
Other people would give anythingto have what they have.
what if this questioning is yournext evolution?
What if this stirring, thisrelentlessness isn't a problem
to be fixed, but an invitationto be followed?
(21:08):
What if it's your soul's way oftapping you gently on the
shoulder and saying,"Hey, I havemore for you, but you'll need to
let go of some old pieces toreceive it." This is why these
moments feel so unsettling,because questioning threatens
the identity you've carefullybuilt, the plans that you've
(21:29):
clung to, the safety that you'vetried so hard to manufacture.
But it's also exactly where allthe real magic starts when you
can choose to respond, not justreact to truly listen, not just
numb out, to move forward from adeep place of alignment instead
(21:50):
of habit or fear.
So let me just ask you softly,what stage of life are you in
right now?
What dreams or questions havebeen circling your mind lately?
Maybe at 2:00 AM when you're tootired to hold the guardrails up.
What would it look like to honorthat curiosity instead of
(22:12):
shoving it down?
Because if this is you, knowthat you don't have to keep
sleepwalking through a life thatdoesn't quite fit anymore.
You can pause, reassess,realign, and the beautiful
truth.
You can do this at any age, anystage, with any amount of past
success or failure behind you.
(22:34):
It is never too late to askbetter questions, to pivot, to
begin again.
And yes, the answers ultimatelycome from inside you.
They always do.
But I've also learned thatsometimes it helps to talk
through it with someone, someonewho has walked this road with
many others who can hold a safespace for you to unravel old
(22:58):
patterns or offer a frameworkthat helps you see yourself more
clearly.
So here's your gentleinvitation.
If you ever want to explore yourlife and career more deeply,
whether it's through an honestconversation or with tools that
can help you uncover anddiscover what's next, I would be
honored to walk alongside youbecause this is your one life.
(23:20):
You are still here, stillbreathing, still entirely
capable of saying yes to what'swaiting.
So let's go even closer to theheart of all of this because
we've talked about reactingversus responding about
questioning your career, yourpath, your life.
But how do you actually knowwhat's right for you?
(23:40):
What's next?
What's real versus another shinydistraction?
You start by listening to thestill small voice inside you.
Call it your gut, yourintuition, your inner knowing,
or for some of us it'sunmistakably the quiet whisper
of God.
It's been there your entirelife, gently nudging you when
(24:00):
something doesn't feel right.
Lighting up when something didfeel right.
It's the tiny tightening in yourstomach when you're about to say
yes to something that you knowisn't aligned.
It's the soft open expansion inyour chest when an opportunity
feels perfectly timed, even ifit scares you a little.
But here's the thing.
(24:21):
most of us have gotten reallygood at ignoring it because
listening often means facingdiscomfort.
It might ask you to changecourse, to leave something
familiar, to admit that whatyou've built as shiny and
impressive as it may look onLinkedIn, isn't actually feeding
your soul, and that'sterrifying.
(24:43):
So we drown it out with endlesspodcasts, social feeds, wine at
night, busyness that looksproductive, but mostly keeps us
from sitting still.
Because stillness is where thevoice gets loud.
Stillness is where you hearthis, isn't it.
You are capable of so much morethan this safe little box.
(25:03):
It's time.
So just take a moment with meright now.
Maybe even close your eyes ifthat feels safe.
Take a slow breath in and let itgo.
Ask yourself quietly, what haveI been pretending not to know?
(25:25):
Where has my gut been guiding methat I keep ignoring?
What gentle invitations have Ibrushed off as impractical, too
risky or not for me?
Because here's what I believeand what I've seen over and over
with people that I work with.
Your soul is endlessly patient.
It'll keep tapping you on theshoulder again and again
(25:47):
offering gentle coursecorrections and whispers like
try over here, maybe that door,say yes this time! It will try a
thousand small ways to get yourattention before life has to get
loud.
And then, even when storms riseand illusions of control get
stripped away, it's not always apunishment.
(26:09):
Sometimes it's the only way leftto clear the noise so that you
finally listen.
So you'll finally remember whatyou actually wanted and who you
actually are.
So just keep noticing what yourbody is telling you, even as we
close today, maybe there's atightness, maybe there's a
lightness.
Maybe there's something thatjust quietly says, yes, pay
(26:30):
attention here.
Today we explored what it meansto reach for control and realize
how little we actually hold.
We talked about reacting versusresponding and how so often our
frantic doing is just a way tokeep from feeling what needs to
be felt.
We unpacked what it means toquestion your life and your
(26:51):
path, not as a failure, but asthe most natural human
invitation to grow.
And we circled all the way backto that still small voice inside
you.
The one that's been there allalong, waiting for you to
finally listen.
And if at any point you feelready to explore this more,
whether it's simply through areal honest conversation or by
(27:13):
using some of the gentleframeworks that help bring all
of this into clearer focus, I'dbe honored to hold that space
with you.
You can find me atnextsuccesscareers.com or just
reach out directly.
Truly, I love hearing people'sstories, their raw questions and
the tender edges of the dreamsthat they're not sure they're
allowed to name.
(27:34):
So thank you for being heretoday.
Thank you for listening, notjust to me, but to yourself,
because that quiet voice insideyou, it's patient, it keeps
nudging you toward what's mostfully, beautifully yours and if
you are willing, slow down, getstill and trust it.
Until next time, keep askingwhat's true for you.
(27:57):
Keep listening and keep becomingexactly who you are meant to be.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to Your Next Success with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
Today we are exploring whathappens when life reminds us how
little we actually control, whyquestioning your path might be
more normal and more importantthan you've ever given yourself
credit for, and how to startlistening to that quiet voice
inside that's been nudging youall along.
Caroline (00:27):
Welcome to Your Next Success, the podcast that helps
you break free from paths thatno longer fit and step into the
life and career you weredesigned for.
I am Dr.
Caroline Sangal, and around herewe don't believe success is one
size fits all.
We believe it's personal,powerful, and deeply aligned
(00:48):
because the goal isn't toimpress the world.
It is to live fully as theperson you were created to be.
Before we dive in, I want toinvite you to simply be here for
a moment.
Maybe take a deep breath, inthrough your nose and then let
(01:08):
it all go.
Today we are talking about theillusion of control.
How easily we fool ourselvesinto believing that we can
manage, predict, safeguard everypart of our lives, but it's also
about something even moreintimate, how we respond, not
just react.
(01:28):
How we learn to truly listen tothat still small voice inside
that's been whispering:"thisisn't it" long before the
external storms ever came.
By the end of this conversation,my hope is simply that you'll
feel a little more clear aboutwhat's truly yours to shape and
(01:53):
what isn't.
And maybe just maybe you'll feelinspired to start nurturing what
has been quietly waiting insideyou all along.
It's humbling, isn't it?
How easily we believe that weare in control.
That floods literal ormetaphorical happen somewhere
else, to someone else until theyare right at our doorstep,
(02:19):
forcing us to see how fragileour illusions really are, and
it's not just nature thatshatters our illusion of
control, it's the layoffs youdidn't see coming.
It's the relationship thatblindsides you, the diagnosis
that reroutes everything.
We try so hard to build ourlives to be secure, predictable,
(02:42):
protected, but control is such adelicate thread, and what I want
to explore is how that's notentirely bad news because while
we may not control the rivers orthe storms or the twists of
fate, there is something farmore profound that is ours to
(03:02):
shape.
As I was planning out thisepisode, I came across a story
on LinkedIn.
It was from Dan Zadra's book,Five: where will you be five
years from today?
Now I admit I haven't read thewhole book, just this fragment
that someone posted, butsometimes a fragment is enough
to lodge itself deep inside ofyou.
(03:25):
It goes something like this.
Picture an old man lying in aquiet room.
He knows he's near the end ofhis life.
His breath has that slow unevenrhythm that tells you there
aren't many left.
The room is dim.
Sunlight is trying to reachthrough the curtains.
(03:47):
There's a faint scent of flowersfrom visitors who came to say
goodbye.
He's alone with his memoriesuntil suddenly the room begins
to fill and at first he thinksmaybe these are friends from
childhood coming to sit with meone last time, and he tries to
smile, reaching out a tremblinghand.
(04:09):
But then one by one, they stepcloser and he sees that their
faces are unfamiliar and theybegin to speak.
"We are your dreams.
We are your ideas.
We are your talents.
We are your untapped potential."Their voices are soft, but
(04:30):
somehow fill every corner of theroom.
They're calm, not angry, notaccusing, but there's a sadness
there too.
"We came to you because only youcould bring us to life." Take a
moment and let that sink inbecause we all have them, don't
(04:54):
we?
The things that knock on ourhearts in quiet moments.
The things that whisper, Hey,remember me, I'm still here.
And then these figures, thesepossibilities lived only in him.
They say something that sends achill through his already fading
body,"And now we must die withyou because you never acted on
(05:21):
us." Can you imagine?
To come to the end of your daysand realize that all of those
ideas, those secret hopes, thatart, that difference you were
meant to make, dies with you?
Because no one else could livethem for you?
(05:42):
Who's standing in the corners ofyour mind right now?
What unlived dreams are quietlywatching, hoping that you'll
notice them before it's toolate?
Is it a book that wants to bewritten?
A place that keeps pulling atyour heart, begging you to come
explore?
(06:03):
A business that could servepeople in ways only you can?
A relationship that needstending or one that needs to
finally be released so you canboth breathe?
And here's something even moreprofound.
Maybe it's not about doing atall.
Maybe it's about becoming thecalmer, kinder version of you
(06:28):
who laughs more easily.
The parent who's truly present,the human who's less tangled in
proving, performing, andchasing, because all of that,
that's inside of you too.
Waiting, hoping that you willmake space for it to come alive.
(06:50):
So just notice for a moment whatarises in you as I say this?
Is there a tightness in yourchest, a flutter in your
stomach, a warmth, a grief, aspark?
All of those are signs thatsomething inside you is stirring
(07:10):
something still alive, stillpossible, still yours.
If you were lying there likethat old man and your dreams
gathered around you, what wouldthey say?
Would they thank you for givingthem breath, for letting them
out into the world?
(07:31):
Or would they look at you withsoft, aching eyes and whisper:
"now we must go with you,because you never chose us."
This isn't meant to scare you,it is meant to remind you that
there is still possibility,still choice, still meaning to
(07:52):
be uncovered right here and now.
You are still here, stillbreathing, still entirely
capable of saying yes to what'swaiting.
And maybe this is exactly whyI've been so drawn lately to the
work of Cortney McDermott.
She is someone I had theprivilege to meet almost two
(08:13):
months ago at the Women Life andScience Conference I attended in
Greenville, South Carolina.
Cortney was the keynote speakerthat day and her energy and her
clarity cut through all thenoise I didn't even realize I
was carrying.
Since we met she's become afriend and a mentor, someone
whose ideas keep finding theirway back to me exactly when I
(08:34):
seem to need them the most.
Cortney is known all over theworld for guiding people into a
new life- expanding relationshipwith their own minds and bodies.
She shared her work on stageslike TEDx Mindvalley, Oxford,
even on Richard Branson'sprivate island, inviting people
(08:56):
to trust their intuition, leadfrom within and step into spaces
of possibility that they may nothave explored otherwise.
What I love is how she combinesneuroscience, timeless wisdom,
and grounded practice so thatpeople don't just hear new
ideas, they actually feel them,start to embody them, and carry
(09:20):
them forward into how they leadand live.
In her bestselling books, giveYourself Permission and Change
Starts Within You.
She speaks directly to thisspace.
Your dreams, your talents, yourhidden longings, they are not
waiting on perfect timing.
They're waiting on you.
Waiting on you to give yourselfpermission, to pause long enough
(09:44):
to listen.
To decide maybe for the firsttime in a long time that you
don't have to keep living by oldscripts.
It's okay to question, to pivot,to choose again.
Cortney often says that it allstarts inside, not out there in
(10:05):
your circumstances.
Not with who finally recognizesyou or how the market moves or
what your industry does next.
Real lasting change startswithin you and the beautiful
hard truth is only you can openthat door, because once you give
(10:26):
yourself that permission, onceyou start listening, the next
piece is just as vital.
How do you actually respondinstead of just react?
How do you trust that stillsmall voice inside long enough
to let it guide your next step.
(11:31):
Welcome back to the Your NextSuccess podcast.
So after Cortney's reminder thatpermission starts inside, you
might feel something stirring.
A quiet urgency, maybe even abit of panic and here's where
most people slip right back intoold patterns because when we are
(11:52):
confronted with how fragile lifereally is, when we see how
easily everything can change,our brains often default to
reacting.
We scramble.
We grasp for any illusion ofcontrol, and we think"I have to
fix everything right now.
(12:12):
Maybe if I double down at work,I'll feel safe again.
Maybe if I just keep pushingthis uneasy feeling down, it'll
eventually go away." Reaction isfast, tense, and it is driven by
fear, urgency that gnawing sensethat if you don't do something
this instant, it might all fallapart.
(12:34):
It's like standing in a floodand trying to push the water
back with your bare hands,frantic, exhausting, hopeless.
But responding?
Responding is something entirelydifferent.
Responding is slower.
It's rooted.
It doesn't ignore the reality ofthe storm, but it also doesn't
(12:56):
let the storm dictate your soul.
Responding means choosing yournext move from a calm wise place
inside.
The part of you that knows whatactually matters, that sees the
bigger picture, and that truststhat you can weather it.
So how often have you beenreacting when what you really
(13:20):
needed was to respond?
Responding starts withlistening, not to the chaos
outside, not to the noise ofeveryone else's expectations,
but to that still small voiceinside you.
Some people call it gutinstinct, some call it
intuition.
(13:41):
For me, it feels like God'swhisper.
It's subtle.
It's easily drowned out by to-dolists, social media, the
constant dopamine hits ofstaying busy.
But if you get quiet enough, ifyou give even a sliver of space,
it's still there.
Maybe it's saying,"This isn'tit.
(14:04):
You were made for more.
Why are you spending so much ofyour precious life chasing
someone else's dream?" Slowdown.
Come back home to yourself.
So just pause and notice whatcomes up, what comes up in your
body as I ask.
(14:25):
What about your dreams, yourlongings?
What about the possibility ofchoosing a new way?
Do you feel something tighten orlighten?
Is there a tug in your heart, aflutter in your belly?
Because often your body knowslong before your mind catches
(14:47):
up.
I've seen this over and overwith people that I work with,
high achievers, leaders,parents, dreamers, students.
They come to me because on theoutside they're holding it all
together, but on the insidethere is a quiet ache.
A sense that they've beenreacting their entire lives,
(15:09):
checking boxes, hitting goals,and trying to control everything
so that they feel safe and yetsomehow still feeling strangely
unsafe because reacting doesn'tbuild security.
It just creates more spinning.
And maybe in all that doing,they haven't actually stopped to
(15:31):
ask what they really want.
Maybe they don't know what'snext, or they've been following
someone else's definition ofsuccess, a version that never
really fit but felt safer thanquestioning it.
What about them?
Their voice, their thoughts?
Their vision for what life couldbe, and what about you?
(15:54):
Your voice, your thoughts, yourdreams, and your vision for what
life could be?
Responding on the other hand,it's where everything starts to
change.
Responding, invites you topause, to feel, to listen, to
decide what actually matters andmove from there.
(16:17):
I want to show you how all ofthis, the reacting, the quiet
ache, the wondering what istruly yours, ties into something
almost everyone wrestles with.
Questioning your career, yourpath, your very definition of
success.
Because maybe right now you arein a season of questioning.
Maybe it feels like uncertaintyor even like failure.
(16:39):
But what if it's none of those?
What if it is simply the doorwayto something far more aligned?
Let's lean into this next layertogether, because maybe right
now you may be feelingunsettled, like you're standing
in a hallway between what's beenand what could be.
(17:00):
Maybe you've been questioningyour career, wondering if the
ladder you've been climbing iseven leaning against a wall that
you truly want to scale.
Or maybe it's bigger than that.
Maybe it's your entire life'srhythm that feels off, like
something important is missing,even if you can't name it yet.
(17:22):
Here's what I really want you tohear and take in at the deepest
level.
Feeling unsettled, questioningyour path, wondering if all this
striving is really leadingsomewhere meaningful, doesn't
mean something's wrong with you.
It doesn't mean you failed.
It doesn't mean you'reungrateful.
(17:43):
It actually means you are awaketo your own life.
You care enough to payattention.
That you are exactly where youneed to be to start exploring
what could be even more aligned,more alive, and more fully
yours.
Because the truth is,questioning your path, including
(18:05):
your life and career is part ofbeing fully alive.
In all my research about careerchanges I've learned questioning
your career is normal.
And it happens at remarkablypredictable times.
We can call them turning points.
Now, these are natural cycleswhere life seems to pause, look
you in the eyes and say,"are yousure?
(18:28):
Do you wanna keep going thisway?
Or is it time to shift?" Formany people, this questioning
starts at around 18, when you'resuddenly expected to pick a
major, a path, an entire future,then it hits again around age
22.
You're fresh out of school, andwhen you move from ideas into
reality and realize, wait, isthis really what I want?
(18:51):
Is this who I want to be?
And then it continues everyseven to 10 years.
It's like a built in lifereview, and it shows up whether
your life looks wildlysuccessful on paper or is still
a work in progress.
These moments aren't failures.
They are invitations.
(19:12):
Sometimes they arrive afteryou've achieved something big.
The job title you chased foryears, the milestone house, the
long anticipated income level,and then instead of the lasting
fulfillment that you expected,there's this quiet, almost
embarrassing letdown.
"Is this all?
Is this it?" Or it happens whenyour kids reach new stages, they
(19:37):
start driving, they graduate,they move out, and suddenly you
are standing in a quiet kitchen.
Realizing you poured so much ofyourself into raising them, that
you lost pieces of your ownidentity along the way.
Or maybe it's driven by a changeyou didn't choose.
A layoff.
A reorg, an industry shift thatleaves your once sought after
(19:59):
skills, feeling dated overnight,or a health scare that makes you
and your own mortalityuncomfortably real.
I've seen this again and againwith the people that I've worked
with, high performers, leaders,people who, from the outside,
look dialed in, accomplished andsecure.
But inside there's a gentle orsometimes screaming question,"is
(20:26):
this really what I want?
Is this the impact I am meant tomake?
Is this how I wanna feel dayafter day, year after year?" And
here is what's so achinglyhuman.
Most people assume that ifthey're questioning things, then
they must have screwed upsomewhere, or worse that they're
(20:46):
ungrateful because with all oftheir accomplishments, shouldn't
they just be happy?
Seriously?
Other people would give anythingto have what they have.
what if this questioning is yournext evolution?
What if this stirring, thisrelentlessness isn't a problem
to be fixed, but an invitationto be followed?
(21:08):
What if it's your soul's way oftapping you gently on the
shoulder and saying,"Hey, I havemore for you, but you'll need to
let go of some old pieces toreceive it." This is why these
moments feel so unsettling,because questioning threatens
the identity you've carefullybuilt, the plans that you've
(21:29):
clung to, the safety that you'vetried so hard to manufacture.
But it's also exactly where allthe real magic starts when you
can choose to respond, not justreact to truly listen, not just
numb out, to move forward from adeep place of alignment instead
(21:50):
of habit or fear.
So let me just ask you softly,what stage of life are you in
right now?
What dreams or questions havebeen circling your mind lately?
Maybe at 2:00 AM when you're tootired to hold the guardrails up.
What would it look like to honorthat curiosity instead of
(22:12):
shoving it down?
Because if this is you, knowthat you don't have to keep
sleepwalking through a life thatdoesn't quite fit anymore.
You can pause, reassess,realign, and the beautiful
truth.
You can do this at any age, anystage, with any amount of past
success or failure behind you.
(22:34):
It is never too late to askbetter questions, to pivot, to
begin again.
And yes, the answers ultimatelycome from inside you.
They always do.
But I've also learned thatsometimes it helps to talk
through it with someone, someonewho has walked this road with
many others who can hold a safespace for you to unravel old
(22:58):
patterns or offer a frameworkthat helps you see yourself more
clearly.
So here's your gentleinvitation.
If you ever want to explore yourlife and career more deeply,
whether it's through an honestconversation or with tools that
can help you uncover anddiscover what's next, I would be
honored to walk alongside youbecause this is your one life.
(23:20):
You are still here, stillbreathing, still entirely
capable of saying yes to what'swaiting.
So let's go even closer to theheart of all of this because
we've talked about reactingversus responding about
questioning your career, yourpath, your life.
But how do you actually knowwhat's right for you?
(23:40):
What's next?
What's real versus another shinydistraction?
You start by listening to thestill small voice inside you.
Call it your gut, yourintuition, your inner knowing,
or for some of us it'sunmistakably the quiet whisper
of God.
It's been there your entirelife, gently nudging you when
(24:00):
something doesn't feel right.
Lighting up when something didfeel right.
It's the tiny tightening in yourstomach when you're about to say
yes to something that you knowisn't aligned.
It's the soft open expansion inyour chest when an opportunity
feels perfectly timed, even ifit scares you a little.
But here's the thing.
(24:21):
most of us have gotten reallygood at ignoring it because
listening often means facingdiscomfort.
It might ask you to changecourse, to leave something
familiar, to admit that whatyou've built as shiny and
impressive as it may look onLinkedIn, isn't actually feeding
your soul, and that'sterrifying.
(24:43):
So we drown it out with endlesspodcasts, social feeds, wine at
night, busyness that looksproductive, but mostly keeps us
from sitting still.
Because stillness is where thevoice gets loud.
Stillness is where you hearthis, isn't it.
You are capable of so much morethan this safe little box.
(25:03):
It's time.
So just take a moment with meright now.
Maybe even close your eyes ifthat feels safe.
Take a slow breath in and let itgo.
Ask yourself quietly, what haveI been pretending not to know?
(25:25):
Where has my gut been guiding methat I keep ignoring?
What gentle invitations have Ibrushed off as impractical, too
risky or not for me?
Because here's what I believeand what I've seen over and over
with people that I work with.
Your soul is endlessly patient.
It'll keep tapping you on theshoulder again and again
(25:47):
offering gentle coursecorrections and whispers like
try over here, maybe that door,say yes this time! It will try a
thousand small ways to get yourattention before life has to get
loud.
And then, even when storms riseand illusions of control get
stripped away, it's not always apunishment.
(26:09):
Sometimes it's the only way leftto clear the noise so that you
finally listen.
So you'll finally remember whatyou actually wanted and who you
actually are.
So just keep noticing what yourbody is telling you, even as we
close today, maybe there's atightness, maybe there's a
lightness.
Maybe there's something thatjust quietly says, yes, pay
(26:30):
attention here.
Today we explored what it meansto reach for control and realize
how little we actually hold.
We talked about reacting versusresponding and how so often our
frantic doing is just a way tokeep from feeling what needs to
be felt.
We unpacked what it means toquestion your life and your
(26:51):
path, not as a failure, but asthe most natural human
invitation to grow.
And we circled all the way backto that still small voice inside
you.
The one that's been there allalong, waiting for you to
finally listen.
And if at any point you feelready to explore this more,
whether it's simply through areal honest conversation or by
(27:13):
using some of the gentleframeworks that help bring all
of this into clearer focus, I'dbe honored to hold that space
with you.
You can find me atnextsuccesscareers.com or just
reach out directly.
Truly, I love hearing people'sstories, their raw questions and
the tender edges of the dreamsthat they're not sure they're
allowed to name.
(27:34):
So thank you for being heretoday.
Thank you for listening, notjust to me, but to yourself,
because that quiet voice insideyou, it's patient, it keeps
nudging you toward what's mostfully, beautifully yours and if
you are willing, slow down, getstill and trust it.
Until next time, keep askingwhat's true for you.
(27:57):
Keep listening and keep becomingexactly who you are meant to be.
Keep going.
You're not done yet.
Thanks for listening to Your Next Success with Dr.
Caroline Sangal.
Remember, authentic success isyours to define and includes
aligning your career to supportthe life you want.
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