Ep 10: Green Flags, Red Flags, and the Beige in Between (Feat. Alayna)

Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Hello, hello, welcome back to another episode of Your secret
Safe with a Vicky. What episode is this?
It's episode 10, Can you believeit?
Yay. And today we have a very, very,
very special guest on with us, Elena.
Hey fam, how's it going? I'm just excited to be here

(00:25):
secret. The real secret is is that I've
actually been on here before, just only the real ones knew it
was me. If you knew, you knew.
If you knew. You knew, or if you actually
listen, fuckers. Yeah, with her parents giving
amazing advice for their 35 year.
Marriage. Yeah, they've been together for
40 years. Which?

(00:47):
Is insane. That's the age of my boyfriend.
40. Yeah, that's how I'm together.
He's nine years older than me. I sometimes don't think when we
all like get together as a group, I sometimes still think
that we are like 21. Like just all. 21 yes.

(01:11):
Like when we were together recently, I was like, oh, we're
still 22, let's go and get backed up.
I literally, I literally see guys out and I'm like, I think
they're our age. Like, I think in my brain, like
I'm still like, anytime I'm in Blacksburg, I'm like, oh, I'm
between the ages of 18 and 21. And then I realized these are
like literal children and I could be their mom.

(01:33):
Yeah, it doesn't occur to me until when we go home for
Thanksgiving and we all end up at River Mill.
And then this little itty bitty child came up to me and was
like, Oh my God, Elena, it's you, Miss Elena, do you remember
teaching me swim lessons? And I was like, I'm going to go
home, It's time to go not to Miss Elena.

(01:58):
Miss Elena, it is time to go. Time to go wrap it up.
Oh my God, River Mill close. Like they're dead.
What? Yeah.
So my brother used to work at Hokie House and I asked him
about it. I was like, what the fuck
happened to River Mill? And he said something with like
their sales, they were selling too much liquor and compared to
their food sales, so they shut them down.

(02:19):
And I was like, that makes no sense.
Or a literal bar. There was also only two people
that worked there at all times. There was the bartender and then
there was the bouncer. And then every four hours they
switched, or maybe 2 once they got busy.
Right after Adrian died we went to River Mill and I was taking
an Irish carve on with Vicki's ex-husband and it wasn't sitting
right. So I was like I'm going to go

(02:40):
throw this up. So I went to the bathroom and
made myself throw up. And I guess one of the two
people that worked there, the woman, she's like shitting while
I'm throwing up. And she's like, you realize that
I work here, right? And I'm like, why would I
fucking know that? I'm sitting in a stall and so
are you. And I was like, oh, no, I was
like, sorry. I just like something didn't sit
right. So I was like trying to get

(03:01):
myself to throw up. She's like, well, you need to
leave. I was like, OK.
And then I walked out of the bathroom and the bouncer
standing right there, I was like, he's like, you have to
leave right now. And like grabbed me and escorted
me out. And I was like, I have one of
three people in this bar. Yeah, they were real strict
about it. They were also so rude every

(03:22):
time. I went in there, they also
smelled like ass. And then every single time, like
the last time that we all went for Thanksgiving, I was
literally like, yo, we have got to leave.
Like I can't breathe. It smells like ass and that's
like it smelled awful. Like it just, it just smelled
like they left shit in there forweeks.

(03:43):
I think it ended up being that like a pipe ended up like
busting or something or like it froze.
I think it was like one of thosereally cold winters where it
froze. That makes sense.
But you know, good ol River Milland God, isn't it great that
we've all known each other since7th grade?

(04:06):
That's. So wild.
Whatever I think about it, I'm like, I've known these people
for half my life or longer than half my life at this point.
Like 13. Yeah.
And no, it's crazy. And it's crazy to think about
that. We all, like our parents all
still live within like a mile ofeach other, right?
But it's also so convenient whenwe go home and we just like,
pick each other up. Like ride my bike around the

(04:30):
neighbor that's in between me and Vicki.
He would always come pick me up.Or like when there was always a
snow day, a bunch of the guys would go and stay at his house.
How they got there I don't know,because half of them really
lived out in the middle of nowhere and.
Then. Like his, like his house was

(04:50):
like the center of it. And so like they would come pick
me up in their trucks and then take me to their house like
after a snow day. And then we would end up
watching fucking Coach Carter like it was no tomorrow on
repeat. Love that movie though.
And it is their fault, but you're watching.
That's the one with Samuel L Jackson, right?

(05:12):
Yes. OK, that's basketball.
Never seen it. That was like, you know what is
like? My favorite part was always my
favorite part about the two of you being Adrian's best.
First is that you bitches hated sports.
Hate sports. I just did other things.
Like I love that you're like so into soccer now and like I love

(05:33):
that you're in women's sports. I actually wore my like
everybody watches women's sportsshirt today to work and
everybody's like, wow, I love that, but I was like, I love
that Graces and this she hated that shit.
She hated sitting on those. Fuck it y'all hated sitting on
this fucking steel ass. Stadium stairs.
Well also all of our teams minusour soccer teams fucking sucked.

(05:56):
Do you know how annoying it was cheering for a football team
that lost terribly every single year?
And basketball. Hey, hey, hey.
I mean, I love you, but we were not.
Good. I played tennis, so I don't know
what anyone's talking about. Grace ran track for a little
bit. That Grace was a cheerleader and

(06:17):
Grace was literally like anytimethat I would get failed, she'd
be like fuck you bitch to the girl that would fail me.
Or if I would like get in a little scuffle, she'd be like
fuck her up later, get her little pop pop.
I had your back from over there.Like, I'll come over here

(06:37):
though. She's like, fuck him up.
It was the funniest thing. So I did always have Grace at my
home games. That's crazy to me that like
Grace was the cheerleader and I would not you.
I know it's like Grace does not give cheerleader energy.
I do, but I wasn't. Well, because if you guys didn't
know, dance was all Victoria spoke of.

(06:59):
Yes. Yes.
I feel like calling you Victoriais only what I'm like, bitch.
You're like bitch. Oh, I do the same thing.
She does something and I'm like Victoria and you have to say
every single syllable. You got to enunciate.
You're like this fucking bitch. Scolding her like a parent.
Oh, my goodness. Well, I haven't done anything
wrong recently. I just broke up with my

(07:20):
boyfriend. I don't make a face at me.
Elena. I saw him.
What do you mean you saw him? Because we were at the same
concert on Saturday and Rufus duSoul.
Whatever the fuck that is. Grace, EDMDJ, whatever, they've
been around for a while, they'reAustralian.
Fun fact, 10 out of 10. If you listen to some of their

(07:42):
songs you would know who they are.
But. That's your beige flag.
What? That I love EDM but so I went to
the concert with two girls from college and I told them the
breakup story I was like, he's going to be there I'm sure I'll
run into him of course saw him almost immediately because we

(08:03):
were all in the pit together andevery time we would move my
friend, she would like turn and look and be like he's right
there like I swear to God I was like there's no.
Way so worried for you all weekend.
Yeah, I was like, if he gets anycloser to me, I'm literally
going to point and scream at him.
But he kept, he would like, like, I would move a few people

(08:24):
over and then I would look and Ijust see his large looming body
and I'm like. Why are you near me?
Not the looming body. God, I mean, that was his body.
I mean, he just loomed, you know?
You know, sometimes you put looks to the side when you think
that someone is going to give you everything else.
Look at my exes. You think I don't?

(08:46):
I didn't do that either. OK, this one was not that ugly.
You've had. Worse.
I've had worse. Thank you.
Thank you. Let's defend him.
Let's defend Mr. Spreadsheet. The one that you had in college.
Tip me and my boy, my ex-boyfriend beat up.
I'm so sorry he had horsey. He was so gummy.
It was. Like oh God, he his teeth threw

(09:08):
up. Gang sods like his were awful.
He God, I hate you. Talk about a hatred for a
motherfucker. I hated them.
I. Forgot that you guys because
didn't he say some racist ass shit to your ex and you guys
were like. Not only that, he was.
Beating me up in the bathroom. He was, yeah, he was beating
Vicki in the bathroom. But I heard it and I came in and

(09:30):
I was like, oh fuck no. And he took a swing at me and
missed and I yelled at my ex whowas at the house party with me
and we both just came in fuckingswinging on him.
Like it was literally like curb stopping.
I like Vicky's probably traumatized because I yanked her
out of the bathroom and like sheprobably got a big ass bruise
for me just like yanking her outand literally throwing her

(09:53):
against the wall like get the fuck out.
And I went ham. I was like, it was my foot, like
don't, don't, don't on this man's chest.
And my ex was like oh God crazy toxic I.
Think I just I think I. Just Black Flag, red, flag red.
Flag, red flag flag on the plane.
I don't know, that was like I still stayed with him like a
year or something after that. You.
Moved in and I was so pissed at you.

(10:15):
I was like bitch, we beat that man's ass and you still went
back to him. Not only did you go back to him,
you full on moved away into thathouse.
Yeah, I make really, really poordecisions.
So when you went with your ex-husband, I was like, maybe
he'll, I was like, can you just not touch her because I'm known
to fight the last one? So but me and your ex-husband,

(10:40):
we got along fairly well. I will say that until one of the
last parties where I really did almost fight him too, but I
almost fought a lot of. People was on the Bachelor.
Party. Yeah, that was bad.
By the end of that weekend, I was like.
I'm so done with all of you motherfuckers.
I I'm not I blacked out so hard I told everyone I had a

(11:02):
boyfriend. You looked at me and said do you
want to meet my boyfriend and then showed me his penis.
And I was like, oh, OK. And you're like, this is my
petite Prince. I'll call him that right now and
FaceTime to him. And was like, hey, petite
Prince. And I did, and he answered, and
he probably still will to this day.

(11:23):
I love that for you. I was like so emotionally done
with that weekend that I I was like silent for a solid 10 days
and I didn't drink for like 3 months after that.
I was like, you talking about a break?
I need a break that. Weekend was so exhausting.
There's just so many of us and we just did so much and then.

(11:47):
We did a lot. Monday morning I had to fly out
at 5:00 AM for a week for a worktrip and I was like, I'm gonna
kill myself. It also wasn't as bad as our
friend's wedding and the Virginia Beach wedding breath.
Yeah, we found out about your bankrupt of a boyfriend.
Oh. Yeah, Mr. Bankrupt.
Yeah, Mr. Bankrupt hated him. Everyone did.

(12:08):
And me and the person, me and my, my bestie that I drove back
with, we sat in the car for fivehours silent because when we
were so hungover, we were like, how are we driving?
And meanwhile, like, that's onlya halfway drive for me.
So like, she lives in Charlotte.The wedding was in Virginia B

(12:30):
Yeah. Do you remember that that
restaurant that we went to, we all ordered those fat ass
mozzarella sticks from that place that we went.
Cuz I did, cuz I didn't come in.I forgot Grace wasn't allowed to
go. Grace wasn't allowed to go.
That shit was funny as fuck. I was like this bitch gonna
break up with this man in a week.

(12:52):
I think it was 2 days. I think I broke up with him like
a few weeks later. It was either that wedding or
the wedding we had the weekend later I got an e-mail being like
your rent check bounced. And because I was, I remember
this because I had a key for theplace and it was like $5300 and
I was just like, what the? Fuck.

(13:13):
Well, because my like my bestie,she grew up around Folly because
her parents have a cry. So like, and her sister went to
College of Charleston. So like they know the area like
really well now. So when she told me and showed
me where Mr. Bankrupt lived and told me that his apartment was
$5000 a month, I was like how ishe doing all of this?

(13:37):
And for the first three months he lived there.
He had a $2500 apartment in Richmond still.
I forgot about that. It's so wild.
Oh. My God, what a time to be alive.
I'm like, we've gone on a tangent.
Did we even give a life update? How was everybody's day?
No. OK, life update, Vicki, you go

(13:58):
first. I don't want to tell you because
you're going to judge me. Why did you hang out with
bartender man? We met in person for the first
time last Wednesday. And bartender man, OK, I'm with.
We so we matched on Hinge beforeI started dating Mr.
Spreadsheet. But now that Spreadsheet and I
are over he replied to my story about my ass tattoo and he's

(14:25):
like oh I get tattoos here all the time whatever.
So we agreed to go on a date last Wednesday and then we hung
out Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,Saturday, Sunday, Monday and we
just took a break last night. Did you hang out today?
No, he's going to come over, I think after this episode.

(14:45):
But yeah, no, we're having very,very, very, very good sex.
Damn bitch, that pussy a break. She's sore but no the sex has
been amazing. That bitch had a 72 hour time
span, God damn. Yeah, at.

(15:07):
First she. Was like, I'm not going to go On
this date. I was like, no, get back out
there, go on a date. And then she's like, Oh my God,
it's going so. Low.
I was like, we're. Going to fuck this man I already
know. He has one of those loser ass
apartments that I talk about in like episode like.
Two wait, what's a loser ass apartment?
It's when I talk about how I can't do the poor phase anymore

(15:27):
that I need to be with. Like I mean, he doesn't have
roommates or anything like that.It's just like a small apartment
and like he's had other jobs before.
He's just like in between gigs and bartending and I'm trying
not to be judgmental even thoughI am a fucking slut.
I'm also a prude ass bitch when it comes to dating people.
This is a fun Adrian story too. I remember that house that she

(15:51):
stayed at when she went to tech and it was that brick house.
Yeah, it was on like. It was by like Harding Ave.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and she lived with, like,
all of those, like, Marines who are going back to college.
Yeah, 'cause she was dating thatone like military dude, Yes,
yes. And we, that's when everybody's

(16:11):
got into that fucking that game.And it was almost said.
Stomp. Not Stomp the one with all the
cups chandelier yes, I almost said ceiling fan.
Same thing. That is not it.
But that's the same concept and I remember.
I don't remember what Vicki did.I think you kept fucking up

(16:34):
every time. And I remember Adrian not just
look at each other like this bitch is so fucking dumb.
And I'm different at being like Victoria, like, Oh my God, like
get your shit together. And you would just be like, do
you know that Vicky has that onething where she's like, yes, she

(16:54):
goes like this, yes, yes, that we could do that.
And she, I don't remember, Adrian, just be like, just get
the fuck out of here. So I'm determined that I'm like.
After like a tailgating day, like I think we were still in
college, so it was like me and Grace at Radford down the street

(17:14):
from each other. And then we'd come visit all
these fuckers at Tech and in ourother Radford bestie who we grew
up with and what? Like It was the old time that we
saw each other. And we would not only go out on
a Thursday like you and I would end up at Sharky's at Radford
for $2.00 double S Hell yeah. Then we would end up at Sharky's

(17:38):
in Blacksburg on a Friday and wewould all go out together on a
Friday and we would pregame at my besties apartment.
Oh yeah, because she was always the closest downtown.
And then we'd all go out and do unhinged things and then come
back. I.
Would never. I remember we a bunch of people

(18:01):
went to like a noon game and we stayed out till fucking 6:00 AM
and then we all got up and for anoon game.
I woke up to like one of our really good guy friends and we
were laying on my besties bed and we were fully clothed shoes
on still, but we were like snuggled like this and we both

(18:22):
woke up and he was like lanes get your shit together we're
going to tailgate. And I was like I can't move and
he was like throw up and come onand I did I went and I threw up.
I remember I went through up came out and none other than
fucking you 3 you and guys and Adrian coming in with bottles of
champagne and being like get thefuck up we're going.

(18:46):
And I was like thank God I vomited and it was the whole
day. Then we ended up at her house
and we played chandelier and then we would go back out that
night. But you know what the crazy
thing was is that I could bounceback on Sunday.
How do? We do that.
I like, I think we then on Sundays we went to River Mill

(19:07):
and then I would like have to make my way back.
We would have to make our way back to Radford, yeah.
I thank God. Radford was only 20 minutes away
from tech because. If it was any long, if it was
any farther, I would have died. I would have just crashed into a
tree. Because when I think about 20
minutes here in Atlanta, sometimes I want to die.
But given that like 20 minutes is still only like 3 miles away

(19:29):
but it takes that long is insane.
That makes me want to throw up I.
Hate that. Yeah.
And then here's Vicki taking 10 minutes to Broadway.
OK. But here to go full circle.
I will agree on like the poor side of phase in the sense of
like not getting your shit together.
Like he he had his shit together.

(19:51):
I'm trying not to write him off.Grace was like don't fall in
love. And I was like, but he's cool as
shit and has really hot tattoos.And also bartenders in these
cities make mad money. Well, Vicki also falls in love
with every man that looks at her.
Well, that's just Vic. She's a romantic.
I am a romantic. I'm naive.

(20:13):
Sure. Let me live my life, let me live
my life and I'm just having really great orgasms.
We're not putting any pressure on it.
No, I texted her the other day and she was like, guess what I'm
doing? I said you're hanging out with
bartender. She's like, yeah, I am.
I said don't fall in love. And she goes, I know the rules.
I'm like, doesn't mean you're going to follow.
Them when we met Mr. Spreadsheetwe were literally sitting there.

(20:34):
I remember I asked Grace the next day I was like was IA Dick
for not talking to this man? I was like I barely said like 2
words to him and I just was likehe's here for tonight.
That was my thought process was just like, he's here for tonight
and I remember just be like justtake it fucking slow.
Well, you were right. You were right not to get to

(20:54):
know him because it only lasted a couple weeks after that.
Yeah, because Elena was like, did we intimidate him too much?
I was like, well, I mean, I did threaten him multiple times that
I would if he hurt you. So yeah.
We did say that. We did say that a lot.
We were just like, I mean, we'llfuck you up.
Like that's not a problem because I was literally like I
beat 1 bitch ass boyfriend of ours.

(21:16):
I'll beat another and this time I ain't got back up.
It'll just beat me. Which is just, yeah, it's just
comical. I don't know why I keep going
through this. I should just never date again.
What's the best, You know, it's always the funniest part too, is
that like when you go through these breakups, like when I said
that TikTok and you were just like, well, this is what Mr.

(21:37):
Spreadsheets doing right now. And I was like, bitch, it's been
like 2 hours since I've talked to you last.
Like what do you mean that all of this happened?
It is so wildly impulsive, like the way my relationships change
from like in a matter of like minutes, it's like.
Broke up with this man in an International Airport while

(21:58):
moving your baggage. Like please keep your fucking
real. My favorite part is that I was
like what happened? What happened?
And she was like call Grace. And I was like, I want to call
grace. Call tell me like what are you
talking about? Like you're like, and then it's
just like these mass mounts of text messages being like, this
is what happened. I was like, can I get a voice

(22:19):
note? Like y'all know my ADHD cannot
handle this. I was just like, what is
happening? That she was like, yeah, I broke
up with them in the at the Barbados airport and I was like,
you couldn't even have made it to like Charlotte when.
I feel it and I like. I never got it on international
soil like US soil. It doesn't count because it was
out of the country. It's literally, it's like word

(22:40):
vomit, Elena. I was like, I can't hold this
shit in. And it was.
It was just too much. She was like, yes, I broke up
with him in the Delta lounge at Barbie in the Barbados airport.
As I was looking at a palm tree whisking by, I was.

(23:00):
Like and then I had to leave because he started making a
scene and I went to go buy a double.
I was dying but also very concerned for your safety at the
same time. Oh, me too.
I was like, is this man gonna like Merc her in the middle of
the Delta Lounge in Barbados? Are we gonna have an
international crime on our hands?

(23:20):
Yeah, that. And I was just like, why is not
a stewardess intervening, Like interfering, intervening,
intervening. I don't know.
It's just like what is happening.
There's something about those I words, by the way.
So I used to say like the sayingis ignorance is bliss, but I
used to say innocence is bliss, which is also true.

(23:47):
Victoria, please be for fucking real.
This bitch could not get a saying right to save.
Her life. No, there used to be a saying.
Used to stay all the time. And I was like, she's so fucking
dumb. But like, but the best thing
about Vicki is that, like, she was stupid smart when it came to
like, academic. Yeah.

(24:08):
And then she'd walk down the hallway pigeon toed at all.
And you're like pigeon toed straight like Oh my God.
And she just be like. Stripping over herself in her
fucking rainbows ribbons. That she had in her hair.

(24:29):
Don't got the ribbons, I wore them.
Too. You know, you remember that like
hairstyle that we all had that like went like this, like Adrian
had that shit like no other, like on a regular regular.
It looks like she sprouted a tail, that's how tight it would
be and she would like slick. She had the OG slick back and

(24:50):
then just like a tail on the side of her head.
And then when we played soccer and she had it to the head, like
to the side, and she thought it would be cute, just braided it.
Who are those fucking? Braids look, the braids were a
thing in the sports in you know,in between 2008 to like 2013

(25:12):
fourteen the braids were in. I mean, they're still kind of
in, if you're a Paige Becker's fan anyways, full.
Circle tangent. I'm fucking a bartender.
It's amazing. He's fun.
That's it. That's all I'm doing right now.
I'm not in love. I'm not in love.
I'm not dating anyone. She'll have a boyfriend by next
episode. No, I'm just like fucking him

(25:33):
exclusively and that's it. And hanging out with him every
single night since I've met him.This is also so funny because I
went to there is this place in Atlanta, it's called Seed
Atlanta. She does these plantini events
where she does like she'll give away a free plant, but you buy
espresso martinis and like there's a full on bartender

(25:54):
there or it's like free espressomartinis, buy a plant kind of
thing. And it's a black woman owned
business here in Atlanta. It's great, it's wonderful.
But then she had a sale this week and that was like $10
plants and it was like certain plants of certain sizes.
And I went there and you know me, I could chat to a fucking
tree and I was chatting up with her about reality TV and I was

(26:15):
chatting up with her bartender about drinks.
So I followed him on Instagram and then he DMD me today and he
was like we should go out sometime.
But I was like, oh. Is this your date Thursday?
I just know it's on a Thursday so but I haven't heard back from
him today. But I also I'm a terrible texter
if I'm for real for real about it.
Oh, Sam, voice note Me, call me.All day.

(26:38):
I don't want any of that. I just don't respond.
So my fam airport texts were notappreciated.
Why does Grace have 500 messagestoo?
No, I currently I have 198 unread text messages.
Good night. Nope.
Good night. I think to myself, if I leave it
unread and I'll go back and respond, no, no.

(27:01):
I never. Know I clear my notifications
religiously. I had a boy in my bed and like I
had some unread hinge notifications and I wasn't even
messaging someone. I just had to like click on it
to like clear it and he was like, you really can't like stay
off of hinge for one minute. We just had sex.
I was like it's not about you. It's about the notifications.

(27:22):
I would have tried to look. At him and been like, well,
maybe if you weren't so disappointing.
No, the sex is good. I just I had to clear my phone.
This wasn't with bartender. Bartender, I would never.
You don't knock everybody until they start actually showing red
flags. Exactly.
Oh Vicky, have you seen any red flags besides this loser ass
apartment? I'm going to keep my you know

(27:42):
what? I think I've learned my lesson.
I'm going to keep my personal life private until I'm ready to
be in love again and talk about it publicly.
OK, so next week. I'll say next week.
I'm going to keep it private. Like I said, the sex is great,
the vibes are great. Again, let's take it slow.

(28:03):
Yeah, so slow. I mean, anal on the third date
is slow, fisting on the 4th is kind of slow.
Anal is not did. You say pissing.
Fisting. Oh.
Fisting. Got it.

(28:28):
We're done. Drop Mike.
I'm so fucking dead. No, he's awesome.
He's great in every way. Great.
How's how's your week? How's Mr. W?
Well, wait, did I tell you aboutthe hotel fiasco, Elena?
Yeah, yeah. So I'm currently in my second
hotel and the state where Mr. W lives because the first one

(28:51):
looked like somebody was going to break in and kill me.
So that's sick and he's supposedto come over tonight.
I told him I was recording this so he wasn't allowed to come
over until I was done. And he was like, well let's get
dinner and drinks. And I said I can't, I have to
record the girls. And then he said something to me
this morning. He woke me up and he was like,
do you want Dunkin' Donuts? I said yes, I do.
And he? Dunkin over Starbucks any day.

(29:13):
Agree. Agreed.
And he went and got me a large iced coffee from Dunkin' Donuts.
And then he got back and he saidwhy are you still in bed?
I'm like, it's only 8:00 AM. He was like get up, we have to
work. I was like fine.
OK, wait. It was piss pouring the rain
here Monday. I set my alarm like 6:00 AM and

(29:34):
I was just like, OK, like got toget up.
Medusa looked at me like, bitch,I'm not going outside.
And I said, you know what, if you're not going outside, I'm
not going outside. So we fell back asleep, no
alarm. I woke up at 9:30 and I was like
well guess I'm working from hometoday.
Vicki called me on my way to himyesterday.

(29:55):
I was like, oh, what are you doing?
I like, are you working from home?
She's like, you know, yeah, OK, so we're both not motivated.
Today, well, no, because bartender left yesterday
morning. He went to the gym.
I was still working from home. I just I needed to hit the reset
button. I took like a sleeping pill at

(30:15):
6:00 PM last night and like passthe fuck out because I was like
not with it because I'm too busysexting this man and.
You're too busy, fucking bitch. That pussy's tired.
It is tired but. She needs to go to sleep.
She needs to breathe, No? Judgment, though, love you.

(30:37):
My God, he just messaged me. He was like what is this episode
about? And I was like no I was like red
flags, green flags, beige flags and he was like you don't have
any red flags so far I think. Is this sarcasm?
Yeah. But he's like, you don't have
any red flags so far. I'm like, you're full of shit.

(30:58):
You're right, I'm perfect. I'm a walking.
Red flag. Clearly he has his rose colored
glasses on. Green flag, Self aware, self
aware. This episode's topic Give it
away, Grace. So today we're going to talk
about each of the beautiful flags when you see in dating.
So green flags, red flags and this new thing called beige
flags, which became like a huge thing on TikTok.

(31:21):
But green flags are basically like wholesome behaviors that
make you swoon with that you seein a guy.
Red flags obvious, they're toxicity, they're fucking nasty
behavior. And then beige flags are like
weird quirks that they do that make you just kind of go huh so.
Some of them are cute, yeah, some of them are cute.

(31:42):
And some of them you're like, I twitch.
I was telling Vicky this earlierbut Mr. WS Beige flag he likes
to drink room temperature Mountain Dew.
Oh, excuse me, room temperature.Diet Mountain Dew.
He doesn't want it cold. He doesn't want it warm.

(32:02):
He wants it room. Temperature.
I thought you were going to go with warm water.
And I was like, well, yeah, Grace, he's 40.
I bet he doesn't. I need a mash's peas for him
tonight. Does he do a squeeze a lemon?
Yeah, but he does. He's all old.
No, I'm just kidding. Mount room temperature of
Mountain Dew is wild. Diet Mountain Dew.

(32:24):
It's disgusting. He had one out today and.
He I'd say beige flag that's. All and he went downstairs into
his office and I was, I saw it on the counter and I was like.
And I took it and poured it out.It's like one thing if you have
it on your like counter and thenyou go back to it and like pour
it over a glass of ice that but that and you should tell him

(32:49):
that Mountain Dew shrinks his sperm count.
That's fine. We don't want kids well.
I thought you wanted one at somepoint in time.
Never. Never.
You remember when Vic? She said I'm going to have 4
kids. She said there are tots with
like 2 rails in her goes. I'm going to have 4 kids and you

(33:10):
guys are going to be the God moms and this is what's going to
happen when I marry Mr. Spreadsheet.
And I was like, hey bitch. Someone please, just like never
let me speak ever again you. Know what you know what's crazy
though, is that like you definitely learned a lesson
because I think that's the firsttime I've ever you talked like
that's not a first time like forme, for Grace saying that she
never wants kids. She's always really said that,

(33:32):
but I thought that she like, like changed her, not like
changed her mind, but was like, oh, I can see myself having a
kid with him. Yeah.
Like with Mr. W like I think it was the first time that you were
ever like because you were always like, fuck no, I don't
want kids. I hate kids.
Your ex-husband. But with him, you were kind of
like, oh, I think I could do this, but.

(33:53):
Well, it has a lot to do with, Imean, he was a great person
until he wasn't, let me be clear.
Like, he treated me like a queenand like everyone thought he was
very normal, very loving. And he was.
And then, you know, you break upwith someone in the airport and
they lose their shit. I broke up with him before the
trip. I told him I didn't want to go.

(34:13):
And he was like, well, we had fun in Mexico City when we were
just friends. Before the audience.
You broke up with him two weeks before.
And he literally told her no. He said no.
You can. You can fall back in love with
me on the track. This is what I said.
I was like, begging is unbecoming.

(34:35):
You should have been a real citygirls, which you should have
done. You know what I have not taught
you well enough? It's my problem is the main
problem is that you once you laid it in Nashville, block
delete and that like you should have kept it going and then when
you laid it in Nashville, that'swhen you could have all
communication. I think the crazy is part of not
only you breaking up with him inan International Airport Delta

(34:57):
lounge is that he started calling your ex-husband this
job. I.
Would she send me that text message?
I was like this. Is fake.
This is not real. The guy I'm seeing right now,
no. He listened to the first episode
of the pod and he was like, thisis like a confessional.
For real. And you know, sometimes I think

(35:17):
about this too, like if our group of friends had a reality
TV show, how quick we cancelled we.
We would be cancelled the first episode.
OK, if it doesn't work out with bartender man, I'm going on Love
is Blind 1000%. You should you should apply for
that shit Nashville episode yet?I don't think so.
No they didn't. Fucking DC.

(35:39):
They're doing another Atlanta one.
I was trying to sign up for it for shits and gigs but God that
fucking questionnaire is like 102 questions and I'm like I
don't have the patience for this.
That's too much. I applied for the bachelor and I
got disqualified because my divorce wasn't finalized.
Nikki, I think you would be a lot of fun on Love Island, I

(36:01):
think. I would be too.
She'd be so chaotic, she would totally get a villain at it.
There's not a villain. You guys think I'm a villain?
No, but I'm saying they would edit you that way.
Y'all are. Mean.
Either people would like I thinkeither people would love you.
This is the problem. You are nice.
So like they would it would you'd have.

(36:23):
People it's confusing because then it's like I do something
fucking wrong and people are like what the fuck?
Exactly you're. Nice.
You would make those those editors work for their jobs.
You always reminded me of Sammy's sweetheart from Jersey
Shore. Thank you so much.
Bitch you'll ever meet. Yes.
Are you? Friends with her or not?

(36:44):
Yet, no, Dennis, there's somebody asked Vicki that she'd
be like, why is that your business?
And he's like, I'm your husband.Because we're married.
Because we live together. Green flags, red flags, beige
flags. All right, Elena.
What is the most unhinged beige flag you've encountered?

(37:08):
OK. The unhinged 1 is definitely,
it's been a thing here. Part of it I'm like, OK, I can
get with this. Part of that.
I'm like sad eye, but it's like men who have feminine toiletries
in their bathroom. So it's like, clearly you have
multiple partners, but then you want to be like, you don't want

(37:28):
that person to have the same thing.
And it's just like if you have aall cotton tampons and they are
rating in different sizes, you got multiple bitches in here.
OK, you just don't know about that.
And then they're quick to be like, I have sisters.
I grew up with sisters. And it's all red flag.
This is not beige. Well, it ends up becoming a red

(37:50):
flag, but some. But at the beginning, this is
like when it's a first hookup kind of thing.
You're like, OK, somebody gets serious.
It's like, why are you continuing feed?
Like why? Why are you?
You don't. Buy different tampon sizes for
different days. No, I do.
But, she's saying, in a man's bathroom.

(38:11):
In a man's bathroom, a single man's bathroom.
Why do you have all that right? And like, why, like why do you
have a guest drawer? We've had the exclusive dog when
I'm first there and we just getting our rocks off.
I'm like, I know that's fucking right.
You know how to take care of a lady.
What's my goodie bag? Yes, thank you for my goodie

(38:32):
bag. Appreciate it.
Got to steal a couple of these. The beige 1 was like he always
had a hair tie for me. This one guy dated.
That's kind of cute. Though he bought hair ties for
me and like if you know me like I've always had long hair that I
have not had this short of hair in.
Years. Like years my hair has always

(38:53):
been in my ass crack and foreverand so like he always but I
think it ended up being like a fetish like he would started to
like when he started to braid myhair.
I was like, oh, we, we are Mr. Grey or I'll.
Just say we're entering, we're entering 50 Shades of Grey
territory. And he could cook.
But then I was like, you redo myhair for the bedroom and I'm
like, now we have 50 Shades of grey only in a whole another

(39:16):
level. So maybe I should have ran, but
I think I just left him on red. He's one of the 195 text
messages. All right, give me some beige
flags, Vicki. Beige flags, Bartender said My
beige flag is Diet Coke in the morning when I'm hungover.

(39:37):
That's not that's like a hangover cure, though.
That's not a beige. You.
Thank you. You.
Don't know, beige flag for me is, or maybe it's an ick, I
don't really know. Wearing thong flip flops for
guys, yeah OK. The ones that like the Old Navy
ones, yes, but like the rainbow ones, not as much.
Yeah. I mean, if they're at the beach
it's fine, but even still, 'cause you see.

(39:57):
Men in just regular sandals, notlike like Yeezy slides, Nike
slides. You still see them in that.
And sometimes you see them with socks on the beach with some
slides on, which is wild. I've seen people in full ass
Jordans and like tall socks on the beach.
I'm like, what are you doing sand all up in those shoes?
Mine is that I am definitely like call me.

(40:19):
I do do phone calls, I do voice notes like it is my own podcast.
I send voice notes to my coworkers and if they're about
the day and they're 5 minutes long, they're like, Oh my God, I
can't wait to listen to this on my walk.
Or like I'll send it to 1 friendwho lives in New York and she's
like oh I can't wait to listen to this on my train ride home.

(40:40):
Me and my Co worker we send eachother voice notes back and
forth. If I open my phone and I see one
from her and it's like 3 minuteslong, I'm like.
Oh yes, no, I am a solid, I'm a solid 5 miner because the way
that my ADHD brain works, yeah, that's, that's what it is.
Also, I love listening to ASMRS.I hate that stuff, I can't stand

(41:03):
it. I kind of like it too.
Hi, there's something about it. I like pimple popping videos.
Oh. Yeah, Victoria, I do love pimple
popping. Videos But there's this one girl
and she's based in Canada and she like always gets like the
crunchiest food and she'll get all those like crunchy candies
as well or the Gushers and the candy pops and stuff like that.

(41:27):
More beige flags I uncooked pasta and uncooked potatoes.
Vicky Space flag is when she puts her hands up at her face
when she gets embarrassed or when she.
Does that that frog face when you do your makeup?
Got this one. Yes, I always love to go through

(41:48):
Reddit threads about stuff that we talk about.
Like this person said, he's obsessed with his gas mileage.
He talks about it all the time. Drive slowly on the freeway,
slower than I would drive so he can get an extra quarter mile
out of his tank and then sends me texts with gas prices.
Petite Brands loves talking about his job, like obsessed
about talking about his job and like how he wants to like do

(42:11):
better at it. And I'm like, oh, this is so
weird. It's so wholesome.
It's so awesome. Mr. Miami, the guy that I
started dating after him, I alsolike calling him Mr. Pinterest,
not Mr. Miami, because he works for Pinterest.
Like recently, like some of the guys I've dated, they always
love talking about their job. This is like beige flag, but

(42:32):
like green flag. But like when they start getting
into it too much, I'm like it. Turns into a red flag yeah do I
have any beige flags being perfect that's annoying not
reading my text messages yeah I mean people consider that a red
flag your. Beige flag is that you answer
Instagram messages. No, I literally told someone

(42:53):
that they the other day, they were like, I'll text you and I
won't hear from you. But if I Instagram message you,
I'll get a response like at least within a few hours.
I said yeah, if you want to get a hold of me, you better
Instagram message me. Otherwise you will not hear from
me. Hilarious.
Or I feel like if I call you, you'll.
Answer Yeah, you just have to call me twice because my phone's
always on Do Not Disturb. So you red flag.

(43:16):
And you're lucky, but if you're calling me, I always, I mean
fucking trauma from our friends.If you're calling me, I'm like
fuck someone. Someone's dead, yeah.
So I've got like that is me and our group that when I start
randomly calling at certain hours of the like night or day.
Like I can call one of our besties in Nova and she like

(43:39):
during certain parts of the day,'cause I know like when her
schedule is, but if I call it a certain time at like night,
she's just like, what's wrong? Who died?
What is it? When on the morning that we
found out about Adrian, she. Texted me and I was like this is
not a text message pic well. So she called me at 10 AM and I

(44:01):
was like, why is she calling me so early?
Maybe she's excited to see me tonight.
And then she told me. And I was like, what do I do
with myself? And then I called Vicki.
And then I called and then I drove home.
I immediately called Vicki. Vicki was bawling.
And I was just like, where are you?
In her work closet. Yeah, and she was just like, I'm
at work. I was like, go home now.

(44:21):
I was so traumatized. I like could not work at that
property for like months where Iwas like I can't be in the store
like no I'm like. The craziest thing about that
too for me was that I was datingsomebody very exclusively for
almost 2 years and his mom was going through terminal cancer

(44:42):
and she was like in stage 4 at that time.
And his birthday was January 4thand Adrian died on the 20 6/6.
And then like his birthday happened and then his mom died a
week after that. And then my birthday is January
31st and. Then Kobe died.

(45:03):
Kobe died in the helicopter crash a month after Adrian.
Yeah, it was the month anniversary of her death that he
died in the helicopter crash. And I was just like, cool.
I think we texted all texted each other.
We were like fuck 2020 this is shit.
Then the world shut down later and we were all like, fuck this,
This shit was awful. And then you know what's even

(45:24):
crazier is that later in 2020, we hired this new sales girl.
her and I connected on like a spiritual level on things.
And she was like, honestly, I knew 2020 was going to be awful
because my boyfriend died on NewYear's Eve.
And wasn't Adrian's funeral on the, what, 30th?

(45:46):
It was like right before New Year's Eve?
Yeah, I think it was like the 30th.
Her boyfriend died on New Year'sEve 'cause he was a really bad
sleepwalker. He fell asleep in the back of a
car and walked out of the car onthe middle of, like, LA Highway.
Like, they were going like 85 miles an hour and he walked out.

(46:06):
That is such a wild way to die. Yes in instantly passed and she
her and I like we're talking about like all of that how we
knew cuz I was like girl tell meabout it and I like told her and
so like we connected how she's doing well because we both left
that job that's. Kind of what happened with me, a
girl I worked with, her dad had passed away I think like 2

(46:29):
months before Adrian did. And like, we had started to
become friends. And then Adrian died.
And I remember I sent her a picture.
I bought like 2 boxes of bulb rock and like 2 bottles of wine.
And she lives like half a mile from me.
And I was like, hey, do you wantto come over and help me drink
this? And we just like, sat on my
couch and like, cried together and got drunk.

(46:49):
Yeah. You know, it was crazy.
So that New Year's Eve, I came back and I saw somebody that we
grew up with in Atlanta in this nightclub that we were at.
She does not seem like an Atlanta type person.
I was like, what are you doing here?
And she immediately came up and she just started crying.
I was like, we cannot cry in this middle of this fucking club
right now. And we were we were sobbing.

(47:11):
We started crying in this club. And then I get back and my
roommate was like, are you OK? I was like, no, like I'm not OK.
Like one of her besties in like the most horrific fucking way to
the whole time. I just remember, like me and you
being at Sharky's, been waiting on Vicki and just being like,
why the fuck did this happen? We were just like,

(47:33):
indestructible. What was your what was your red
flag story about Adrian? My way of knowing Adrian is that
she, we grew up, we grew up playing soccer together and at
first she was there from when like they were really young.
I don't remember if you guys remember this or not.
Adrian left at one point becauseher family moved to Canada.
Yes, I remember her telling me about that.

(47:54):
She's like yeah, I left for like2 years because Billy decided to
go to Canada. Yeah, he had a job or something.
Adrian and I were both forwards and like she was center.
I was left or like we would change it out and so like we
were always like close in practice or like we grew up
playing soccer together and she was feisty as fuck.

(48:16):
We would literally like we woulddefinitely like hit check
bitches on the fucking field. And I remember like people, but
people always try to grab Adrianlike they would she was.
So like she was like, sure, but she was full muscle.
Yes, and they would always try to grab her.
And I remember one time they tryto grab her jersey and she was

(48:37):
like she started swinging her arms.
I was like, oh hell, I was like,I was like, damn, I'm about to
have to get in a fight for Adrian cuz I was like, this is
crazy. And so like that.
I remember like soccer stuff, like she would be so feisty and
she'd be like, let's go fuck bitches up today and like.

(48:58):
Our. We were really good at.
Soccer. And she was like, yeah.
Her little 5 foot ass bucket at people.
And then, like, people really started like trying to like,
hurt us because we kept scoring on them bitches like 10 to
nothing by the first half, like,oh, yeah, we would win by
slaughter roll every single time.

(49:19):
And I remember they kept trying to just grab her.
And I was like, why? I'll try to grab her.
And it would be like to the point where you had to like Pat,
like we would have to pass the ball, like sit like at least
five times to other people before we even tried to take a
shot on goal. Like not even try to score.
Like just even like take a shot.And even then you had to start
shooting outside of the 16. Like you weren't allowed to

(49:42):
score inside penalty box or anything.
Like you had to shoot outside ofthe 16 after 5 passes because
that's how bad we were beating people.
We always just grew up playing soccer and like doing dumb
things like at soccer tournaments and like doing
stuff. She would always like do stuff
with oranges like always, you know, like that orange thing
that like you'd like filled yourmouth out and like it covers

(50:02):
your teeth. That was like always Adrian.
And then put the. Peel.
Yeah, the PO and we won the soccer tournament and I was all
the way in the back and then I kept flipping the trophy the
wrong way. And like the I just remember her
being like, you're so fucking stupid.
Flip it in the front. And but I could not hear

(50:23):
anybody. And I remember her being like,
bitch flipping it. But there's literally a picture
somewhere on Facebook where likethe trophy is facing towards my
face, like the front of the trophy and like the rest of
everybody's holding it differently.
Red flag would be that you'd getso pissed so quick if you were
like, wrong about something. And you try to argue with her.

(50:44):
About it and you try to argue with her about it.
And so this one time she was arguing about like relationships
because I can't remember who shewas dating at the time, but this
was this was when we were in themiddle school, but in high
school because our gym fell. It probably started with AG.
OK, maybe it was that, but I think she was like talking to me

(51:06):
and two other guys that were in our grade.
And she was like, no, like, thisis a real thing.
That, like, love is real. I'm obsessed with him.
And I was like, oh, my God, cutelittle girl.
Like, you know, we're 16, young and in love.
And at the time, like, one of our friends, his parents were
going through a divorce because his dad was cheating on his mom.

(51:30):
Same Charlotte. And she was just like Love's not
real. Love's a joke.
This is bullshit. And she was like, no, it is
real. Like this is a thing.
And like they were starting to get into it like really hot and
heavy and me and this other guy were definitely like, OK, you
guys like break it up right? Like it's fine, it's OK.
And she turned to him, the guy that she was arguing with and

(51:54):
was like, just because your dad kept cheating on your mom and is
a piece of shit doesn't mean that love isn't real.
And I was like, oh, my God. And then we could all sit at the
lunch table together that day. And I had to be like, no, I was

(52:16):
like, AIDS, you fucked up. Like, you should probably
apologize. But those were some of the
funniest ones. And then like the one like in
college when we finally all could like drink together out in
the open and we played Chandelier like no other and she
was so fucking competitive. Oh my God, yes.

(52:39):
It kept kicking Vicky out. I never wanted to be on her team
because I was like, I'm not thatcompetitive.
I always wanted to be on her team because I was like, I know
a win. And then when we played beer
pong and she would be like, elbows, elbows.
I like to crossover she. Like hello.
Like she would like, turn her back.

(53:00):
She had like eyes in the back ofher head.
I'm like, oh, Adrian, it's not that serious.
Yeah, and she'd be like, that shit was so funny.
But oh God, I just remember thisis a little bit on the spiritual
side of things. I remember like a year after her
passing, it was I took a couple girls to Folly and we stayed at

(53:20):
my besties condo and it was us like talking about like our
friends who had passed. And I was just like, you know
what's crazy is that I had a dream about Adrian.
You know, growing up, all we didwas play soccer and I was just
like, I went to a soccer field and there was Adrian just like
trying to shoot PK's. And it was all because I

(53:41):
remember this bitch would alwaysget nominated to shoot PK's and
miss but she didn't just miss like she hit a field goal like.
No, yeah, she, because she wouldkick it too hard.
Because I remember, I vividly remember one game in high
school, they're like, oh, Adrian, like you're a forward,
you're a striker, you go do it. And she would just like run up

(54:01):
and punt it. I'm like.
She did it was right there, but she would it would go through
field goal and then everybody would be like food goal.
She'd get so pissed. Adrian bitch like hit a corner,
but I remember like I was on a soccer field and then I would
just realized that it was Adrianand I was like AIDS.
I was like, Oh my God, I like I miss you so much.

(54:22):
And she was just like, I'm OK, Lane's like I'm good, I'm here.
Like she's like, I promise I'm doing OK.
And another person who is with us.
She's also a spiritual girly, our lovely little Pisces, and
she was just like, that's so crazy because I also had a dream
of Adrian, but we I can't remember what they were doing.

(54:43):
Probably I think their connection was like they'd go to
the junction a lot. And so like she was like, that's
so funny. Like we were at the junction and
I saw her and talked to her, butit's.
So cute I It's funny because I had a dream like that about her
too. I was at my apartment.
Me and Vicki were laying in bed together, and she had, like,
walked into my bedroom. And then her mom walked in, and

(55:05):
then her boyfriend at the time walked in, and we're all like,
what are you doing here? Like, you're not supposed to be
here. Like, you don't belong here.
And she, like, cuddled into bed between me and Vicki and was
like, no, I'm right where I'm belong.
Like, I'm home. I'm OK.
Yeah. I love that dream.
I always think about it, all those fun spiritual ones, but
her green. Flag I'm like you guys only

(55:26):
have. Nice dreams about her spider.
Literally like me envisioning her getting like fucking
decapitated getting ejected off an ATVI.
Will say one time I had a dream that we were in our middle
school and I walked into the front office and I was like
Adrian, what are you doing here?And she was wearing like, a

(55:47):
white power suit and she, like, turned around and had like,
really weird, like, black eyeliner around her eyes, and
her eyes were red. And I was like, I, like, woke
up. Like that's like the only kind
of weird dream I ever had about her.
Adrian was queen of the eyeliner.
That was her beige flag. That fucking eyeliner.
I was talking to someone about this the other day.

(56:09):
It was me, bitch. It was the under eye eyeliner.
But the under eye eyeliner, she never did the full eye.
It was like she'd stop halfway and it was just like a thick
coated line. And I'm like home girl blend
blend. The things that we did in high
school with our makeup. Other I say this is a red flag,
but this is just me because I'm not a romantic because like

(56:30):
Adrian, she did the same thing that Vicki does where she's
like, I'm in love with him. Every person that she meets, and
I remember one guy she was dating.
Do you remember the guy that shedated that worked at 6:20?
Two, I'm going to say yes. But so her in 622 N man, they
went to I think Asheville to seeThe Lumineers and she said that

(56:51):
they took Molly and before that trip she's like, yeah, I think
I'm going to break up with him. So then they go to the trip
they're in the she's like they played.
I think Ophelia. She's like we're on Molly and I
turn. And look at him and I'm like.
I love. You.
I was like, you literally told me on Friday on your way down
there that you were going to break up with him.
And she's like, well, now we're dating.
That's why her and Vicki were biffles.

(57:13):
Oh yeah, loves every meet man they meet.
I will say that's their green flag.
They always got a open heart. And then there's me and Grace.
Cold, dead and shriveled. I remember we one of our, we
were at Sharky's and I think it was after Adrian's like think
and then somebody brought like one of their girlfriends who was

(57:36):
super young and we were like, I don't think she was even allowed
to drink yet at Sharky's. She like just turned 19 and.
We all made fun of him for it. Yes, but she said something and
me and you looked at each other and we both go, This is why we
can't be near each other. And I know it's like Vicki just

(57:56):
being like Oh my God, she's so nice and we're like no, she's
fucking not. Like the bitch can't even drink
at Sharky's. Like not even a good fake
Blacksburg people just we just get it.
We're just a different breed. And it's like, just like us
growing up together, like we didnot care about who drank what or

(58:17):
this or that. I believe Blacksburg people are
different because the river flows backwards like the Nile.
What are you talking about the New River?
Yes, it goes backwards. It's like one of the only two
rivers that goes backwards. So like a positive thing, Is
that what you mean by that? No, it means we're fucked the
fuck up. That's what it means.
It's fine. Did you find the statistic?

(58:38):
I just sent it to you guys and it turns out it's bullshit.
So we're just crazy for no good.That's also one of Vicky's
flags. Believes anything on the
Internet like a 70 year old man.Come on, Boomer.

(59:00):
No, but read it. There's actually like, it's like
a good point. It says Fact Check is the New
River one of the few rivers thatflows N But it's not that
unique. I'm like, OK, so there's no
problems. The New River and the Nile are
the only rivers that flow N Manystudents heard this often as a
child growing up in Southwest Virginia.

(59:20):
But the New River is not one of only a few rivers that flow N,
not by a long shot. You're right on the flowing
north part. Thank you.
How did this tale become common currency in West Virginia
classrooms? Southern propaganda, yes.
Old white man Old white. Man, but apparently there's

(59:41):
other rivers that are just as unique as us.
Wasn't your dad a science high school teacher?
Yes. I did not learn this from him.
I did not. But.
Then technically go under geography.
I would think it's more geography than my dad taught
chemistry. He's not talking to me about the
Nile and the New River. That's why that fire gets

(01:00:03):
flamed. I think he knows all about it.
That's why she's. So passionate.
Also, she's just a true Aries. Taurus.
Oh, I keep forgetting that I think there's still a cus.
I just don't believe it. I think you're.
I'm a Cus birthday but I don't believe I'm an Aries she's. 100%
of Taurus, I'm a Leah. I'm an Aquarius and that's why
because Grace and I are sister sides.

(01:00:25):
I'm like Leo, best friend, yes. Leo, ex-husband, no.
He was a Leah. Thought he was a Virgo.
No, he's a Leah. My my bank ex-boyfriend.
Red flag. Was a Scorpio.
I think spreadsheet was a cancer.
That makes so much sense. Yeah, makes.
Yeah, because he was like, he always made the joke.
He's like, like I am in everybody's life.

(01:00:47):
And I was like, turns out to be true.
Look. Yikes.
Hey, what Mr. W is Scorpio Two, It's probably the sexist Fire
Mickey. Which is an eel.
I don't want to hear about that.Whatever I hear about your

(01:01:08):
fucking Red Room Christian Gracepissing.
In my mouth bullshit. This is friendship.
Red flag is that you can't talk about your sex life because
she's like Oh my God, you guys stop and I'm like, bitch, you
are butt ass naked on somebody'sfront porch on broad daylight.
I don't know you fucking lying. Please be for fucking.

(01:01:29):
Real. I can like I should.
I was like I should have been penis and you're like Oh my God
I'm like you have had like 6 this month please shut the fuck
up like. I'm holier than thou.
That's. Vicki's red flag.
She's a freak in the bed, but she is such a.
Prude. Otherwise rude.

(01:01:50):
I'm just like girl, fuck you first.
Off make it make sense. I'm like, I've had sex with this
man for a solid year and a half.I'm like, you going to come at
me? It's probably just because it
was the biggest she's ever seen.I'm just fucking with you.

(01:02:12):
Y'all are wild wild. Well also this is also all your
opinions because every time you'll just be like whatever.
His Dick wasn't that big. I've had sex with Caucasians one
this one Caucasian I had sex with here.
That Dick was massive. He was like God damn but he

(01:02:33):
ended up being real annoying like he was on my.
They're always annoying. What big Dicks are annoying?
No white men with them. Yeah, he was like, oh, when can
I see you? Like I think my mom was visiting
one time and he was just like, so when can I see you?
Like get away from your mom for a few What?
First off, red flag. Don't ever tell me to leave my

(01:02:54):
mom somewhere so I can come havesex with you.
You want to. Know a red flag?
It was right after Adrian died and this dude and I had gone on
like 1 date I think. And then obviously I ghosted
because my best friend died and he like messaged me and was like
going off on me. And I was like, listen dude, not
that I owe you an explanation, but my best friend just died.

(01:03:16):
So I'm kind of dealing with that.
And he was like, well you shouldhave just told me and like
confided in me and like we can get through this together.
I'm like, I've met you one time for three hours of my life.
I do not need to fucking confidein you and get through this with
you. Yeah, immediately blocked him.
People's like narcissism of whatever the fuck that is of

(01:03:37):
people like trying to grieve. I messaged my college
ex-boyfriend, the one that you and your boyfriend beat up after
Adrian died, and I was like, howdare you not even say you're
sorry for me? I'm like a girlfriend too.
Oh, one of our friends messaged her up Marine ex-boyfriend after

(01:03:58):
it happened was like. Adrian's Marine ex-boyfriend.
OK, I don't know if you know. I can't.
He. I.
Can't remember if he responded, but wait.
I remember this but continue. And he was just like, OK, yeah.
That was it and we're all like sick.
You only dated for like 5 years literally last year but OK.
I just remember him being another cunt.

(01:04:19):
Yeah. And he was cool at first.
Then he was just like, Oh my God, he's.
I think that's one of the times I was like, Adrian, This is why
we don't date people with PTSDS by the time they're 25.
There's no reason for somebody to have PTSD by the time they
are 25 because they chose to be in the military.
They had other options. One Halloween, it was like the

(01:04:41):
last Halloween they were together.
They got drunk and got into a fight at TOTS because they were
always fighting. He left and literally busted out
a shop window in downtown Blacksburg and got arrested.
There was like a second or thirdtime getting arrested and got
kicked in. He threw my.
Hat off the balcony and killed it.
Yeah, see. Can't see it.

(01:05:02):
He was wild and then met some girl in the corps.
They she graduated from the core.
They got married. They'd only been dating for like
3 months and like moved to Hawaii and has like fallen off
the face of the earth. I mean, he deserves to be
falling off the face of the earth.
True. So, wild times.

(01:05:23):
What else were what else were some actual green and red flag
discussions we were supposed to talk about?
Hype up the underrated green flags like keeping promises,
loves dogs but doesn't use them for dating clout and knows how
to apologize. It seems like a red flag to me.
Doesn't use them for dating clout like a dog but I thought

(01:05:45):
not saying. Does use them for dating clout?
Sorry I was like that. Sounds like a red.
Flag. My old roommates in college used
to use Charlotte for that in allof like the brothers I was a
sweetheart for. They would literally come over
and take photo shoots with Charlotte for like their
Tinders. Like you guys are all fucking
idiots. God, that's when.
Tinder was like such as the bestpart about it being in like

(01:06:07):
Radford and Blacksburg is like you knew everybody.
So like the fact that you see them on Tinder was 10 times
funnier and then just saw a little party.
But always swipe the people thatlike I knew from high school one
time before I met Mr. W actuallyand I had hinged for like a
month I saw fucking on there. OK.

(01:06:29):
You should have swiped right on him.
Just I did. We did.
And we're like, Oh my. God hey, what's up?
No, your wildest 1 was. Oh, I forgot you were into that
with the. So about it.
No, I don't know what I don't know it was after.

(01:06:50):
OK, so the person that I woke upnext to a bed was oh, that's
what was the story. I don't.
I was like, I can't remember whoit was for the reason I thought
it was. No, it's we like all got drinks
at P KS and then there was Gracetelling us that she hooked up
us. I forgot about that until this
moment and I'm like living for the three players.

(01:07:13):
We went on a a lunch date and I was like OK loser and we went to
Gilly's and then I went out of town for Vicki and I's girls
weekend and then I came back into town for like 4 days before
I left on my road trip. And I was like no like I mostly

(01:07:34):
did it because I was like curious.
I don't want to see how this goes.
And I mean like it went well I guess.
And at one point. I will say.
This as soon as it was done, I'mlike laying on the bed and I'm
about to like get up to like getdressed and he's like.
Yeah, so I have like a. Really early morning tomorrow
and like and I looked him and I was like, yeah, I'm not spending

(01:07:55):
the night. And he's like, OK, cool, cool.
I was like. I love how like it was.
So weird. I was like.
OK. Like please.
Yeah, no, Those green flags workfor me though, OK.
This is a good one. What is your I should have
walked away but didn't. Moment, Elena.
Haw fuck, there's a ton. I'm not gonna lie.

(01:08:17):
There's a ton. But I, my last relationship was
when, so how I got Medusa, I was, he had another dog and I
just took over. And it was when like he started
to like not come home as much but said that he was working.
And I literally like had I trained the dogs, like they only
listened to me 'cause he wasn't home.

(01:08:39):
So like they were Barbarians with him.
They were fucking psychopaths and this one over here thought
she was in the WWE and would jump off couches off the like.
She literally would drop off this top of the couch onto her
sister and I was like, you are apsychopath and I should have

(01:09:01):
known. With Medusa, it's really a two
in one. So he always got mad at me that
the dog slept in the bed with melike when he was working at
night. And so he tried it one night and
yeah, working ended up being working.
And so he tried it one night. Medusa took a shit next to his
head. Should have known then.

(01:09:24):
My girl was trying to tell me something a long time ago so.
Valid. And another one was that I went
to my best friend's wedding in Mexico and I came back to sick
dogs and like, not pie. And I was just like, how the
fuck did this happen for four days?
Like I was gone for four days. How did all of this just like
fuck up? And I ended like, now I know

(01:09:46):
it's 'cause he was definitely with other women and left them
in the crate for a longer than 12 hours and all these other
things. And I just was so sick and I was
pissed. I was like, should have left.
It should have left just becausethe dogs really, really shared
it with me. Is this the dude that has like 4
kids? Oh, who had four kids?
I don't know if I did. Oh no.
I the last time we saw each other, I swear to God, so he's.

(01:10:08):
The one that was cheating on me and this girl kept calling me up
like work while I was at work. Well, one was that he found out
that his kid that he thought washis was not his.
That's it. That's what I'm thinking of that
it wasn't his. And then she came back to us
while we were dating was like, hey, I have stage 4 cancer.

(01:10:28):
Can you guys be the legal guardians?
And he said yes. So Elena thought she was about
to be a whole stepmom. Yes to a six to like a 14 year
old and a 7 year old. Yes.
And then I kept getting I got Adm and I got a phone call from
two different random girls. Long story short, found out that
he was cheating and so he calls me because the girl like the

(01:10:52):
baby Mama, she ended up actuallydying.
Dying in a motorcycle accident. Yes.
Yeah, she died in a motorcycle accident.
And so he had the kids and then while he was up there, he ended
up getting in a car accident andwas like, I need help.
And I was like, cobble you all the bitches.
Yeah. And so then recently I was on
that good old already the same guy and somebody posted him and

(01:11:13):
was one of the girls that I knewthat he was cheating on me with
because she finally gave out allof his details and his cousin
was on there and was like confirming stuff.
Well, then she put back on therethat she was like there's
another girl that he posted and his cousin confirmed that it was
like who they all thought that was his girlfriend.
Well, he ended up getting her pregnant and she miscarried

(01:11:34):
because she found out that he was cheating on her.
She got so stressed out and because she got so stressed out
and then I saw that he fucking posted that that and so we
posted on like threads because it popped up on my Instagram
feed, which is a feature I fucking hate, by the way.
So annoying. Hate it.
And he ended up saying a Happy Mother's Day.
You would have been a great mom with an Angel emoji.

(01:11:57):
I was like, you are a sick bastard.
I. Should have left.
I should have left that relationship so long ago when he
like would have stopped coming home when he would get mad that
the dogs wouldn't listen to him that like if I did something and
he but he would do it and he would get mad at me for doing it
like hated it. Also dogs know like when I was

(01:12:19):
dating Mr. Bankrupt, my parents golden retriever Jackson who's
like sweet as can be would not go near him, would bark at him,
like would not be in the same room as him.
And I'm like Jackson was trying to tell me.
Yeah, Medusa stopped trying to go near him.
And then, yeah. And then there's this one guy
that I saw, like, very briefly, very, like, went out with a

(01:12:40):
couple times. We hung out at night one time,
and she would not go near him. And I was like, I'm tired.
I'm gonna go to bed. I was like, I'm gonna listen to
my dog more. Absolutely.
I think there's just like the little, like it's just like,
always listen to your gut. Yes, your intuition.
Yeah, yeah. It's just always listen to the
woman's intuition. Vicki, when did you know that

(01:13:04):
you should have left earlier? When which relationship?
Your ex-husband. Yeah, do your ex-husband.
That's always a good one. I should have laughed when we
broke up like 2 months in after I moved there and I stayed for
eight years feel. Like you liked Richmond though
for a while. Never.

(01:13:25):
You never liked Richmond? No I moved there for him and I
told him when I moved to Richmond that like this could
not be my forever home and I would have to move somewhere
else for job opportunity and he always told me he'd be able to
do that until I turned down 3 promotions.
Crazy. So did you like Nova better than
Richmond? Yeah.

(01:13:46):
I was so sad when I left Nova. Yeah, she always talked about
how much she missed Nova. How do you do you like Nashville
over Nova? Yeah, I just like my Nashville
life, who I am here always something to.
Do I love when Vicki's single? She's so much fun.
It's always a wild time. I'm so my little brother is
going up and staying with her because he's thinking about

(01:14:07):
moving to Nashville because his twin is stationed outside of
Nashville and I'm so nervous forhim.
Why? Because.
Vicki did not have sex with her brother.
I will kill. You, I I know you would kill me.
I always I'm. Exclusively fucking a bartender
but this is. I said this is also like in a

(01:14:28):
month from now, so we'll see. Is this the one that's into
Cougars? They all are.
Isn't that like a Molluscus thing?
Yes, they all are. And I told her I was like, they
have the last name Molluscus. They are off limits.
I'm like that is my only rule for you so.
Grace is into Cougars, Mr. W 40.He's a young. 40 family trait

(01:14:53):
baby. Wait how old are your parents?
Like how many years apart are they?
Five. My dad's five years older than
my. One that's not that bad.
Because they met when my dad wasgetting his master's attack.
What a time. What's another one?
Love bombing, yay or nay? No.
Vicki. Loves it out.
Well, yeah, it's a red flag for me.

(01:15:15):
I hate it. I'm like, you know, I'm like
poke. Your chest out.
Pick up a good like absolutely not.
And he's like, Oh my God, this is the nicest thing anybody ever
seen. And I'm like.
OK, it's someone who comes from an abusive relationship.
I love being love bombed, but that is.

(01:15:36):
Yeah, but I would say love bombing is a sign of abuse.
I know, I know, I know, I know. That's OK.
That should have been her red flag for Mr. Spreadsheet.
Oh for sure 100%. Have you ever caught anyone
cheating on you through Venmo? Not through Venmo, I think it

(01:15:57):
was Snapchat. Everyone cheats through
Snapchat. Yeah.
I swear to God, that's why they created it.
It was like those two, like fractures.
Yeah. Because it was like, this is
when 'cause this Snapchat still,this is so funny because I
somehow like, I guess like one of your things popped up like I
got a Snapchat notification of yours grace And I guess it was

(01:16:18):
like you post it or something And then it started to like
tweak out and sending you stuff.And I was like, I'm too old to
know how to use Snapchat And I was like, what the fuck is this?
And but it was like when Snapchat was really lit with
like best friends, like how manystreaks?
And like, and you can see really, you can see who each
other's best friends are. Yeah, And it started to get like

(01:16:40):
real nitty gritty to it all. And I was just like, why is this
a thing? And I found out.
And then she was also like tweeting, like sub tweeting me.
That's when like Twitter was like real, like real about it.
And then she was sub treating mehow like she should have never
been like the other woman or something, Like she should have

(01:17:02):
been the woman, something like that.
And meanwhile she was an R like my RA, like she lived on the
floor above. So yeah.
And so he cheated on me with herlike while I was sleeping below,
which is a wild story to think about.
And then that's when Yik Yak gotbig and.
Like, Oh my God, yeah. Friends started posting about

(01:17:23):
how she was a whore and she tried to get all these people
expelled and they were like, youcan't get us expelled.
If it's true. Like there was some girl was in
there. She's like it's not slander if
it's true. You did hook up with him.
Everybody knows if. It's true.
That's so fucking funny. Yeah, like this is, this is real
stuff. But it was like she was, but I
think she got mad that it was like she was a fat whore or

(01:17:45):
something. She's like, I'm not fat, I'm 62
or some weird shit like that. It's crazy.
Yeah. Also, like she was trying to
hook up with locals. So like, she was not from the
540 at all. And she was trying to hook up
with like locals there. And I was like, you're hooking
up with local. Like people from Radford and
Pulaski like and would get obsessed with them and when.

(01:18:06):
But like the guy who she like, Iknew him for forever, the guy
that she kept trying to hook up with.
But like one night she like broke his window, like breaking
in and like what he was telling us about it, but we didn't like
put two and two together until my ex cheated on me with her.
And like I was like, Oh my God, that was her because he was
like, yo, that's that crazy bitch.

(01:18:27):
I kept trying to tell you about him.
So he that's the most fucked up part.
He goes, I didn't use fucking somebody because she stopped
trying to break in my goddamn door and I was like, fuck you.
First off. He's like, sorry, Elaine, I
didn't mean it like that, but it's OK.
The lick back came back anyways because then one of the other
girls that he cheated on me withwho he's now married to now and

(01:18:50):
I will never forget this as longas I live.
We were at TOTS and nothing fucking good happens.
I hate TOTS. Well, First off I was like why
are you in my city? Like get out of my town, my bar
like y'all have Radford. I will take Blacksburg like stay
out of Blacksburg like fuck off.And I'd get so irritated about
it. And then every time that like he

(01:19:11):
wasn't there with her, he would like follow me back to the like
the besties crib and like, and then all of our guy friends were
obsessed with him. And then like any time that he
was by himself with all of our guy friends, of course I said
hi, but I didn't stick around oranything.
Yeah, why would you? Cuz like, why would I?
And that's when I had like all my nose piercings too.

(01:19:31):
I was going through my nose piercing stage and I was like, I
looked like Grace, my step up onmy nose.
I was like, I'm fully throw it in.
He was like, you're changing so much.
I was like, yeah, I'm going through a breakup still.
Like, yeah, I was like, you moved on quick.
I don't move on that quick. And I was like, and people knew

(01:19:52):
us like it wasn't like at Rafford.
Like if you didn't know him, youknew me.
If you didn't know me, you knew him, right?
It was a very public thing and it was not cool.
So then I would just get pissed off because I'm like, why the
fuck are you in Blacksburg? Just stay in Rafford like.
Hannah Radford, but I think he they ended up like moving to
Blacksburg at one point for something.
Can't remember, but I didn't no,I don't know where they live

(01:20:16):
now. So we were at TOTS one night and
well before that to backtrack, it was when Big House was lit
and she was friends with fucking.
Random. So random.
She was friends to him and he always loved me.
We always got along in high school and it was me and the big
ass board. Well I was always with him.

(01:20:37):
Just remember vividly me sittingat the bar and he came and
hooked up to us and he like introduced me to her and I was
like I know her. I know exactly what this is.
And she was like, she was like, Lenny's like, I don't want you
to think I hate you. Like she was like, I know who
you are. I know you know who I am.
I was like, I don't. I was like, I heard of you.
I was like, I know where you've been, but I don't know who you

(01:20:59):
are. And she was just like, I just
like bunch didn't know. Like I don't have any hate
towards you, like. Everybody.
Would she? I hate.
Towards you I was like, I don't have hate towards you either
like he's the problem. But she didn't realize that she
was the other girl like she had no idea.
So until I like I told her and then she like we had to get
along. It was cool.
It was fine. Like she it was whatever cuz I

(01:21:20):
at that point I was past it. It was like 2 years.
I was like whatever, I'm over this and so and she ended up of
course, falling in love with me because who would not who
couldn't, who couldn't resist, who could have not want to be my
bestie, But she she's a sweet girl.
She's super nice. I think they're married, young
and in love. They got apparently multiple
babies now so praised them. Fast forward bag they we were at

(01:21:44):
tots and you know, I talked to them or whatever.
I catch a cute sweet like I don't it doesn't need to be a
full conversation. And then like I see, of course,
because our guy friends are our guy friends.
They loved him always talking tohim.
And like I said, it was very public.
People knew us and all I see is two of our guy friends over with

(01:22:06):
him and then just arm starts swinging like out of fucking
nowhere. It was a full blown fight.
And so I went over because I'm like why is he fighting at the
IT was like why The Who the why is he going to fuck?
So I'm like because I was like I've already beat this man's ass
in the street before I'm going to beat it here and Todd's like
why is he fighting my 2 best friends?
And so I was like what the hell.And then I just see his now

(01:22:29):
wife, she got dragged and I meany'all dragged by those fucking
bathrooms by her hair by one of these girls that went to our
high school. They're much older than us.
So like I knew who the girls were because I saw who it was.
I was like Oh my God why are they grabbing her up like that?
But I knew that the girl like, who she was dating.
So I was like, Oh my God, like my ex is fighting her boyfriend.

(01:22:52):
And I knew him and I was like, Oh my God, like it has to be
that. But she got dragged and I saw
these other girls come in. I thought she was like with some
girlfriends too, like, not just my ex.
And she got dragged by her hair from the fucking bathroom of the
top of tots all the way to like those tables.
Yeah, her hair getting Molly, like literally getting whopped

(01:23:14):
upside her fucking head. And I broke them up.
I was like what are y'all doing?Like get off of her.
And then I started yelling at these random girls because I
thought they were her friends. I was like fuck you bitches,
y'all can't help her fight. Like y'all can't get in there.
They were just some random girlsand I got her up, I fixed her
up. I was like girl you better go
fight back. And she was like, I'm not a
fighter like I don't do this. And I felt so bad for her.

(01:23:35):
And I like saw the 2 girls and Iwas like why was she fighting
them? And I was just like this only
means one thing. But we start walking out and I
realized that like our two guys,my friends didn't get in the
fight with him or whatever. Somebody fucked him up.
Somebody fucked my ex up. And I was just like Oh my God.
Like he was Garma. And she just she really just got
scratched and like her hair pulled.
But she came down and she started as she started with to

(01:23:56):
one of the cops. She was like I would have
pressed charges. I was like I'm out.
I was like y'all have fun. We're like we're out.
We were like y'all guys like what the hell.
And then I went to TOTS 2 weeks later, they did not come back.
I was like, maybe that's what did it.
And it was this guy that we all went to high school with and he
was like, I beat your, your ex'sass two weeks ago.

(01:24:16):
And I was like, for what? He was like, fuck him.
I knew what he did. I knew who that girl was.
You're wild. You're fucking wild.
I was like, me and that girl arecool.
Like we're all cool. And I was like for what?
And shoot, they were like. You told me they.
Were like, she said something slick and the I said that that
was your ex-boyfriend and that that was the girl that he

(01:24:36):
cheated on you with. So we just started swinging and
I was like, I was like, that's the first up.
So I gotta stay out of town. But Oh my God, there's there's
been some red flags. I think I'm getting better at it
now though. How?
About seeing red flags. That's how I feel.
This is the life of ADHD. I'm so tired.

(01:25:01):
OK, well thanks for coming to Episode 10, Elena, and for being
our first. Guest on the pod, love you.
We love you and thanks for listening.
You know where to find us everywhere you get your podcasts
and all of our social medias. Bye guys.
Ili ili tired. I'm Pam.

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