Ep 13: No Script, Just Chaos (Life Updates, Parenting Hot Takes & Politics?)

Lucky number 13 came with zero planning and maximum chaos. Grace and Vikki ditched the script and went full unhinged—from reflecting on exes’ birthdays and wild dating escapades to parenting advice from two women without kids (but plenty of opinions).

We also cover therapy breakthroughs, relationship icks, and even a quick dive into politics (because apparently that’s who we are now). Oh, and yes… there’s a curved dick story in here too.

If you’re here for candid, hilarious life updates and the kind of oversharing you didn’t know you needed—this episode’s for you.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts and don’t forget to rate us 5 stars!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
So I'm drinking a happy dad. I wonder what that's like.
Dad started my first therapy appointment on Friday.
She was supposed to tell me about your parents.
Well, my dad is emotionally unavailable and shows 0

(00:22):
emotions. It just kind of grunts at you.
And my mom is so over the top. And I'm kind of like in between
those two. And she's like, oh, and what do
you do when like you like are feeling things?
What do you do? I said I revert into myself and
I run away. She's like, oh OK, all right.
I said oh also I live with my parents.
Don't know if I told you that. And she's like no, no, you
didn't. I was like sick.

(00:48):
Welcome back to your secret safewith a welcome back.
Girls, gays, and days Mickey episode 13.
Yeah, lucky number 13. Lucky #13 So Grace, those who
don't know, Grace puts in all the effort and the leg work to

(01:09):
generate our topics that we talkabout on the podcast.
Basically anytime we're about torecord, I get plopped down, she
pulls up this little screen and she's like, this is what we're
talking about today. Here's the general script and
then you just talk today. There is no script.
We are out of topics. Grace was like, Dang, I only I
only plotted through episode 12.So maybe episode 13 will just be

(01:34):
the unhinged episode. And I'm just gonna, I mean, if
you guys think episodes one through 12 are unhinged, maybe
this one will be even worse because those actually have like
a script and a plot and a theme.And this one, it might just be,
you know, let's see what shit dumb like dumb shit Vicki can
say today. The theme of episode 13 is that

(01:55):
there is no theme, which I feel is, you know, on par with it
being lucky number 13. You know, right.
I don't know why I thought I I swear to God, I thought I mapped
out till 13. I'll start again for number
episode 14. I'll have a, I'll have a script
for 14 that will kind of follow that we never actually.
Followed over a week late. We have no script everyone.

(02:19):
Today it is my ex husband's birthday.
He's 32. Happy birthday to him.
Silence is deafening. Also I'm recording in bed and I
forgot my mic and my headphone so I'm using my ear pods.
Episode 13 I was talking to someone today and Facebook

(02:39):
memories. Facebook memories did me dirty.
So not only is it my ex husband's birthday, this time
five years ago, I was also getting engaged.
I got engaged July of 2020. Yikes.
In Savannah, GA. In Savannah, GA Yikes.
But yeah, my Facebook memories posted today and I was like,
Dang, this was a tough one to look back on because it's like

(03:02):
every birthday with him for the last eight years.
And then I stopped scrolling. But the episode, I mean, as I
was scrolling down Facebook memories, it's like birthday,
birthday, birthday, birthday. And then it gets to high school
and it's when my favorite died and my grandpa to be a good day
for me. July 29th was never intended to

(03:23):
be a good day. I was like this is when my
grandpa died, this is when my ferret died.
This has been my ex husbands birthday.
It's also when I got engaged. I was like, you know what?
An anniversary, friends. God, right, Yeah, You said
Facebook memories. My Snapchat memories always
fucking get me in. Oh God some of the ones you send
me of me I'm just like you literally just massacred my day

(03:46):
and you're like I sent you this so you can see how much better
you look. I could still ruin my day.
No. OK, so how long?
5 No, Five years ago, what, fouror three years ago, I can't
remember, Vicki and I went to Boston with her ex-husband and
my ex-boyfriend and we went to aRed Sox game because I'm a big

(04:09):
Boston sports fan. And I guess technically we went
for his birthday, but whatever. We, I sent Vicki.
Sorry, I am not with it today. I'm not either.
I send. Let me start my train of thought
again. I send Vicki Snapchat memories

(04:29):
of us in Boston for her ex husband's birthday and it was us
at the Boston Red Sox game and we.
Looked terrible, like looking at.
Those I'm like, I'm so glad thatwe were going through it
together, but holy shit. Yeah, that was three years ago.
That was also the trip that he screamed in my face at the bar

(04:50):
'cause I didn't realize he had broken out and like a rash on
his face, 'cause he used to get.That oh, Mr. Bankrupt, when he
drank some alcohol 'cause that'syour fault.
Yeah, And he was sitting underneath a red light in the
bar and he was like, is my face right?
It feels scratchy. And it's like, no, I don't see
anything. Like, you look fine.

(05:11):
And then a few months later, he went to the bathroom and then
came back out and it's like screaming at me in the bar and
was like, I fucking asked you. And I look like a fucking idiot.
Like all this stuff. And the couple who were so nice
that we just met the girl like is consoling me, who I literally
we'd known her for 24 hours. I still follow them on Instagram

(05:31):
and they have the most beautifulbaby and like the happiest
marriage and I'm like, I'm like,no way.
They just announced that they are having their second kid.
Aw, I was just going to say thatlike he has the same birthday as
my ex-husband and I wish this other person the happiest
birthday ever, but not my ex-husband.
And like it's crazy. I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe we should do an episode on

(05:51):
like astrology signs and and youknow.
Yeah, because it's Leo season, baby.
Yeah, so my ex-husband and Graceare both Leo's.
Leo best friend, yes. Leo husband, no.
No. I will say August Leo's are

(06:11):
superior to July Leo's. Yes.
And our husband is on July Leo and Grace is in August Leo.
Yes, I'm the better of the two, but yeah, she back to the story,
she said. Your boyfriend's really mean and
I don't like him. And I was like, yeah, me
neither. I.
Don't like him? That was also the trip that his
cards kept getting declined and I didn't realize it.

(06:34):
Yeah and my ex paid for everything who also has no
money. We really knew how to pick them.
Vicki texted me today and she goes we should take a shot for
to celebrate and in my head I'm like, celebrate what?

(06:55):
What could we possibly be celebrating?
And then she goes, oh, his birthday?
I said fuck out of here bitch. No, we're not celebrating his
birthday. Are you kidding?
Me. No.
I sent those memories to someoneand they were like, so do you
wish him happy birthday? And I was like, did you?
No. OK, good.
Why would I ever do that? He wished me happy birthday back

(07:15):
at the end of April. I think that was one of the last
messages he sent me. I don't even think I responded
thanking him, but I guess it wasreally kind of him to wish me a
happy birthday. Because he's just such a
selfless person. Yeah, I am not selfless.
I will not be wishing him a happy birthday.
I hope he rots and has 8 horrific birthdays for the eight

(07:39):
years that he put me through. I didn't even realize it was his
birthday until you texted me. Me either I.
Was like. OK, I'm gonna get with it.
I'm gonna take your shot. And like, what is that?
High School Musical or she's like?

(08:07):
You mean? That Yep, that's the one.
That's what I was thinking of. Oops, I did it on social media
times and oversharing your stocking online backfired.
Liking an Instagram post from 2013?
Accidentally sharing the wrong story?
Your own oops moments from content or relationships.
The only thing that would be, I guess, an oops moment, but I
don't even consider it an oops moment is when I posted my naked

(08:29):
butt on Instagram in honor of Adrian.
The oops moment I immediately thought of was I was stalking A
Lieutenant I thought was cute inmy in my unit for the Army.
And I thought I was on my regular news feed, but I was
still on his profile. And I was just like La La la.

(08:51):
And I was like, that's a cool picture and I liked it.
And then I was like, wait. And it was a picture from
November of 2013. And at the time I think it was
like 2016. And I was like, motherfucker.
And I immediately unliked it. And I was like, hopefully he
never brings us up. Jump Scare.

(09:11):
So that's the end of episode 13.Well, I guess we can go.
Let's go into our life update. Don't have a life update?
Yeah, huh. You have Mr. 42 year old.
No, I think I'm going to end things with him.

(09:33):
What? I have to talk about it.
Yes. Did you get the ick?
No, actually the opposite. A life update.
So about a month ago I went on adate with this guy who is 42.
We went to 3rd and home which overlooks the Sound stadium and

(09:57):
we like watch the Sounds game. We flirted, had good
conversation, whatever. He walked me to my car, gave me
a kiss goodnight and like afterwards I was like, you know
that was, you know, nice but like it was too nice right?
Like I thought he was too nice. There wasn't enough like,
banter. Oh my God, yeah.
I just like it. Wasn't he?
It was too wholesome for me for a first date.

(10:19):
So anyway I like told my friend Sarah about it and she was like
oh did you go out with XYZ? So she went out with him like 6
months before I went out with him and nothing ever happened
with them because she doesn't put out on dates like I do.
She like takes her dog on walks around Centennial Park and I'm
like do you want to have sex? And she's like she's she doesn't

(10:44):
put out on 1st dates but. He's like, get in my bed.
Well, if the sex isn't good, I already know it's going to be a
deal. Breaker.
That's what I'm saying. That's what I always say.
I'm like you, test drive a car before you buy it.
Right, right. So anyway, Sarah told me she
goes on a date with him and I was like so why didn't it work

(11:04):
out with you guys? And she was like, I think he's
too nice. And I was like, that's what I
thought too. And at that moment in time we
had a conversation about like don't discount the nice guy cuz
he might surprise you in the bedroom.
So I don't see him again. Fast forward a month later,
we've still been like texting onand off as a little drunk run
night. And he was like, oh, hang out
with me. And I was like, oh, I'm already

(11:25):
on a date and he's like, oh, do you sleep with him?
And I was like, yeah, the Dick was disappointing.
He's like, I've never gotten anycomplaints.
Like said every guy ever. Like any guy that's like, I've
never gotten any complaints. It's like, right, because women
don't fucking speak up and they're not going to tell you of
a shrimp Dick. Like that's not a thing.
So I'm like, whatever. He's like I've never had any
complaints. But anyway, I agreed to go out

(11:46):
on a date with him this past Thursday and I'd had like the
longest work day ever. I went and taught an hour long
jazzer size class. We go out for drinks.
We go to this new bar called close Company and it's so loud
in there and I'm 31 and he is 42.
He's like, it's kind of loud in here.
I was like, I can't hear myself think.
So like we went like to somewhere quieter, like the old

(12:07):
farts that we are like it's too loud here.
We can't talk to each other. But now we had a really good
date. And then he was like, you should
come back to my place. We go and meet his French
bulldog and we kind of start hooking up and the Dick I'm like

(12:28):
do like this long and probably that thick around but then like.
Curved like a banana. Like my sink.
Yeah, I feel like it is like he well, he's too.
He's 42. He's not up here sending Dick
pics like the fucking like he's a he's an adult.

(12:50):
If a 42 year old is sending you a Dick pic like run no.
I was just saying Mr. W is 40 and doesn't send me a Dick pic
which is fine. Right.
But no, I've never had a curved Dick that is long and girthy.
Like usually when I see a curvedDick, it's one of those skinny
pencil Dicks. And it's not like like it's

(13:11):
curved probably because it was so skinny that some girl bounced
on it and it bent the wrong way.Not because it was like
intentionally meant to be that way.
It's just like your Dick is so fucking skinny that some girl's
going to ride it rough and it just got stuck that way because
it's not stable enough for anyone to be riding.
So that's my experience with curved Dicks.
This Dick is like, this is not abroken Dick.

(13:35):
Not a broken Dick. It's it is.
Kind of broken pussy. No, it's curved in the best way.
Like sometimes it like goes sideways one way or the other.
It like curves up. So when you're on top of it,
it's like hooking into your like, G, Yeah, God.
Damn. Like I can't usually come

(13:58):
without like significant foreplay first.
Like Nope, that's nothing's good.
Like I can come without anythingon that thing.
Like that thing is good. So anyway, the Dick is great,
the sex is great. He has a nice apartment
overlooking like the river in Germantown.
We woke up like to the sunrise and him giving me like a back
massage and like holding me. And I was like, this is like,

(14:20):
nice and wholesome. But we hung out this weekend and
he met a few of my friends. And of course, all my friends
are like, yeah, So that curve because I told them which, like,
good for him. He was like, not even rattled by
my friends talking about like, how good I think his Dick is.
I said something to him the other day and he didn't, like,

(14:40):
reciprocate the feels enough. So now I have to ghost him.
Oh my God, Ricky. I was like, did that.
I was supposed to get dinner with him and I was like, I have
to record the podcast. I'm busy.
This is what I said. It wasn't anything bad, but now
it has me being like, man, he doesn't like me as much as I

(15:01):
like him, which means I'll neverspeak to him again.
You fucking dumb. Bitch.
Oh, that's why he said he was like, let's do something Tuesday
night as like sounds good, we can hang out one more time
before our trips. He was like looking forward to
it. I was like me too, I was like
you were a good sport last nightwith my friends and he was like,
they were fun. I really enjoyed hanging out

(15:22):
with you and I was like if we keep hanging out regularly I'm
going to catch feels lol He saidhaha take it slow and then I
didn't respond. See.
Wouldn't that turn you off too? Yeah, I would be like, OK, I'm
ghosting you now. You hate me.
Never. Speak to him again, right?
And he sent that back within like 5 minutes and I was like ha

(15:44):
ha ha take it slow. So I maybe it's like sarcasm and
I'm reading into it too much, but I didn't respond to him.
So then he texts me the next dayand he's like have a fun Monday
morning. I was like you too.
Now he's like chasing me and like texting me more 1st and I'm
being like standoffish. Yeah.

(16:05):
You probably say what I needed to say in that moment.
He probably realized with him, like texting me more.
He probably realized like, oh, that probably wasn't the right
thing to say. Yeah, so I don't know, I think
I'm just gonna let it fizzle. The Dick was really good,
though, and he's a really cool person.
I If you're not gonna be obsessed with me from the jump,
then like it's never gonna work out.

(16:29):
You fucking? Toxic ass bitch.
Well why don't you like revisit?Don't like really talk to him
when you go to Florida and then revisit when you come back.
I just think I'm never gonna message him again.
And if he like pursues it enoughand realizes like, oh, I pissed
her off, then like good. That's how I feel right now.

(16:54):
It's not like I was only talkingto him.
It's not like I'm exclusively seeing him or anything like
that. I want a little bit more like,
wow. And in that moment, he didn't
give me wow. I was like, oh, so you're
disinterested in me? I will never fucking talk to you
again. I even paused my hinge in my
brain because I was being a little delusional.
And I was like, I'm not going totalk to these random guys on

(17:15):
hinge because I'm hanging out with this guy consistently.
We've hung out four Times Now. So I was like, I'm going to
pause my hinge. And then he didn't reciprocate
enough. So I immediately unpaused my
hinge and changed my location toSaint Pete.
I'm going to say Pete this weekend.
I got 30 likes in 2 minutes. So you got exactly what you

(17:38):
needed, some validation. Exactly, now I'm now I'm
revalidated and I was like who gives a fuck I don't need this
42 year old anyway so. Oh my God, whatever happened
with Pringles? Man I said some toxic shit to
him too. So Pringles, man.
Do tell Victoria. Do tell the pod.

(18:02):
No bringles man. So we were supposed to hang out
the weekend after the podcast hehad COVID.
The weekend after that we finally hang out.
I have strep, he still comes andlike hangs out with me even
though like I have strep he stays for the weekend, goes
home, whatever. I'm texting bringles I'm like

(18:24):
even town. He said no I wish working 1/2
day tomorrow Boo. I sent him like a little sad
face and he was like I know I need a non sick night with you
and I was like perhaps you don'treally live here though that's
tough for me. He's like, I can be there
anytime you let me. Why did I think he lived in
Nashville? So he used to have an apartment
in Nashville, but what he does for work, he basically lives in

(18:46):
Kentucky, like during the work week.
And then he's back in town in Nashville in the weekends.
But like, here we go. This is what I said.
He was like, you can have me here anytime you want.
I was like, yeah, weekends. He's like Thursday to Sunday.
And I was like, your girl has weekday needs and intimacy needs
and needs to feel wanted. You go silent too often.

(19:07):
That's not being toxic, that's communicating your feelings.
He said I can make that happen. Just been super busy with work
this week and last week. Then you got sick and I got sick
and I was like I hear ya all so busy but for the right people I
make time. I like you but I'm also still
seeing other people who seem more interested in making time
for me honestly. He said I gotcha.
I was like Yep, I told you I wanted a boyfriend and

(19:28):
commitment and I don't think that's you and me.
He said definitely is me. And I was like, right, but not
you and me. And and he was like, why not
you? I was like, I need more
attention than you can give. Yeah, I need more attention than
you can give. He said, sorry, I'm different
than a lot of guys. I work very hard, very career
driven. That doesn't mean I don't care.

(19:48):
And I was like, I am also working hard and career driven,
but I still prioritize a person I want.
I was like, sorry, I'd have dreams.
So being a bitch. He said, all good, we can talk
tomorrow. I said no, I think I've said
what I need to. I need someone who's intentional
with what they want. And I don't like being the one
to instigate these combos. It's not for me.
And he said, OK. Then he proceeded to like my
bikini pic and we'll never talk about it again.

(20:16):
And that's. That yeah, so, so yeah, I mean,
I would say in the last, like since I broke up with Mr.
Spreadsheet, I've maybe met 3, 31/2, four guys that I would
consider like, oh, I would actually see myself dating half
because it's like, no, because Ionly gave him a head.

(20:40):
I didn't fuck him. So it's a half.
OK, girl math. It was good in my mouth, but if
it wasn't good elsewhere then half.
True, true. I don't know, I think I'm
realizing the people that I likethat I would commit to don't
want to commit to me. Like when I think about 42 year
old and the way that he behaves,it's like or even Mr. Bringles,

(21:00):
man, I'm like, I feel like they need somebody who on the outside
looks more put together. It's not the girl with the sex
podcast or like like they want someone a little bit more.
Yeah, like docile and aren't going to say things and like
that's just I'm sorry. That's just not me.
It's like neither. Yeah, it's like, what is it,

(21:21):
little Bible thumping Sarah Anns?
Yeah, that's what they want. Yeah, we're not Sarah Anns.
Never and never will be. Maybe I'm writing them off, but.
But also you're so valid in the way that you said I cuz he when
he was like, oh, I'm not like other guys.
I'm like literally everything that you said after you said I'm

(21:41):
not like other guys. I've probably heard from 50
different men. They all say that I'm just
really career focused and like Ineed to focus on that.
I'd like me. To preach to me, I had to set a
calendar reminder to call my husband when I was working
because I forgot he existed. Like trust me, there's no one
who understands career more like.
And also all these men are like mid 30s or 42, they're in their

(22:05):
40s and they're all like, I'm just trying to figure out my
dating goals. Homie, you're halfway to death.
You should have figured it out by.
Now, yeah, I know the the three people I would like have gone on
dates with that I'm like, oh, I could actually like see myself
doing more than you with sex. One is 31 is 34 and the other is
42. All over the board.

(22:27):
Yeah but I don't know I'm like 42 year old didn't say what I
needed in that moment so I'm gonna slowly ghost him until he
realizes he fucked up and bring goals.
I was like you know I'm not evengonna give you a shot because
you're not giving me the attention I need.
And then there's all the men that I have 0 interest in that
text me non-stop that like will give me all the attention I need

(22:52):
but it's like I don't want it from them.
Them. Yeah, I feel that.
Wait, are you gonna see a tall bed guy when you're in Saint
Pete? I was originally supposed to
stay with him and then he stopped responding.
So typical say Tarantino's. I'm still coming there.

(23:13):
I sent him my flight information.
I like, booked the swanky hotel just for myself.
It's this hotel. I'm Saint Pete Beach.
That 42 year old was like, I've always wanted to stay here and I
was like, bet I'm gonna go stay here without you and probably go
fuck. You should send him a really
like a really good picture one day.
I mean like, wow, this hotel is amazing.

(23:37):
Yeah, yeah. Is Saint Pete on the Gulf side?
It's Tampa. OK, that's what I thought.
This is the I just, I I thought it was Tampa, but I couldn't
remember. Yeah, some of them complimented
my Tampa tattoo yesterday. Yeah.
So I think I'm going to go back to that tattoo shop.

(24:01):
I really want to get like a downthe spine tattoo.
So I think and she did really good line work.
So I think I'm going to go back there.
I want to go to that neighborhood we went to.
I I couldn't tell you the name of anything that we went to.
OK. I don't even know what hotel we
stayed at. I just kept getting in the
Ubers. Oh Lord, well I'm staying on

(24:25):
Saint Pete beach. I fly in Thursday like midday
and then I fly out early Sunday morning because your girl
teaches Jazzercise every Sunday afternoon.
I was not about to skip my Jazzercise class, so I'm just
gonna be there Thursday night. All day Friday at the beach, all
day Saturday. Yeah, I changed my Hinge
location to Saint Pete Beach andyour girl is getting blown up

(24:47):
right now. Blown up.
Did you love the bikini picture that you just posted?
Oh. Yeah, it's on there.
Oh, yeah. OK.
I figured so I figured so also I'm obsessed with that top.
I've always wanted to buy one but I was too fat for it.
But now that I'm not, I'm like Ineed to get one. 01 Wrong move.
The Nip is out. Good for picks, not for reality.
It's a a laying bikini, not a moving bikini, Yeah.

(25:12):
Well, I mean it when you when you're going somewhere that you
don't know anyone, everything's a moving bikini.
I can't wait for the drunk Facetimes I'm gonna get from
you. I just know they're gonna be top
tier. I'm here is my idea for Florida
for my solo vacation to Florida.It's gonna go one of two ways.
One, I'm just gonna like, cry inthe hotel and sleep the whole

(25:35):
time and just have like a decompress moment.
Or two, I'm going to meet some crazy guy and be violently
unhinged all weekend and come back and feel sick as shit.
So it's one of two ways. I'm leaning more towards #2
'cause you're going to get bored.
See I don't know, part of me is like maybe I should just be

(25:57):
wholesome and even though 42 year old pissed me off, maybe I
shouldn't fuck other people. I mean, you could always talk to
them. No, no, I already said I was
like, oh, if we hang out too much I'm going to get fields and
he's like take it slow. I'm like, I'm like, OK, slow.
You mean non existent? You mean I'll never communicate

(26:17):
to you again? I was like, I'm like.
I'll go play in traffic then. So you fucking hate me.
I keep seeing those memes on Instagram and TikTok and it's
like when my boyfriend tells me no and it's me immediately going
oh, so you fucking hate me? And that's what I say to Mr. W

(26:39):
all the time. See I don't think he hates me I
just like I didn't get what I needed from him in that moment
and now there's no recovering and I will forever remember this
and I'm I'm a grudge holder big time.
Me too. I just like, it's really hard
for me, Like when I feel something and that it's like
like I can't let it go. I can't let it go.

(27:02):
Yes, that's why we talk about the same topics that piss us off
when we're together or on the phone over and over and over
again and just rehash it and then we feel so much better
afterwards, you know? Really, I don't feel at all
better. OK, well, I feel a little bit
better afterwards. So yeah, maybe I'll meet my,

(27:25):
maybe I'll meet my Florida loverthis weekend and I'll move to
Saint Pete and start my life over yet again.
Because honestly, it's been pretty good.
Every time I've hit the redo button on my life, it's gotten
better. But you've only been in
Nashville for a year. Give it some more time.
Oh no no no, no, no. It's not that I don't love
Nashville. I'm just saying like so I was
with my college boyfriend. It was devastating when I ended

(27:48):
things with him. I was single for a couple
months. I met my now ex-husband and I
will say my life with my ex-husband was better than with
my ex-boyfriend. And then I left him and I'm in
my Nashville life, which is alsobetter.
So it's like sometimes when people are scared to leave, like
that was kind of a big deciding factor for me leaving him as I
was like, you know, I felt like it was the end of the world when

(28:09):
I left my ex-boyfriend who I wasliving with.
And guess what? My life got 1000 times better.
And then it's like I thought it was the end of the world leaving
my ex-husband and guess what? My life got 1000 times better.
So I'm just like when in doubt, start over because it's always
going to get better. At least it has for me, which
maybe that's really toxic adviceand some people you're going to
start over and you're going to fucking hate yourself and regret
it. But like impulsive me, it feels

(28:31):
great about her decisions. OK, so I went out to the bar on
Friday night, which I think I talked about it in episode one
or two. Nothing good happens at Mother's
Ruin. Mother's Ruin.
Correct. So I ended up at mother's ruin
and I see this guy who's kind ofcute and like we're walking by
each other making eye contact and my friend is like go and
talk to him. So I walk up to him and I was

(28:52):
like, and he's like, hi. He's like, I know you, right?
And he's like, yeah, I was like,we don't know each other.
And he's like, no, just like, thank you for coming over here.
Whatever. Like I go up to random guys in
the bar all the time. Anyway, we get each other's
like, Instagram. He tells me he lives in
Nashville, but he's moving back to California.
And I sent him some really unhinged messages because I was

(29:14):
kind of drunk, because he was like, come over.
And I was like, I don't hook up with people that like don't live
here. And he's like, well, I live here
for like now, whatever. I was like talking to him about
Dick size because this is what'simportant.
And he said, I think you will bejust fine.
I was like, you heard what I said, if it's small, I'm not
coming. He said, aren't you a forward

(29:35):
one? I was like divorced.
I know what I like. I don't usually entertain men
who don't leave here or leaving.And small is a no.
I wasted eight years with small so and he said you think I have
a microdick 3 incher? Haha, Nah.
I said yeah, but no girth, no chance.
And you said I'm proud of what Igot.

(29:58):
Don't know what to tell you. I was like, we'll see.
It's been violently disappointing in Nashville.
Cute face though. I'm like butter facing this man.
It was like some of you coming over.
No, I can't read you. I was like, I'm believing in the
big. And he said, well, I ain't
Johnny Sins so. And I said farewell, Johnson to
the porn star. And that's like a massive Dick.

(30:18):
And he was like, well, I ain't Johnny Sins so.
So I was like, farewell. I remember the farewell, but.
And he's like, damn, this has been fun.
And I was like, right, if you don't have a porn star Dick,
don't fucking talk to me. That's what I mean by high
expectations. And that's why I'm like, when
these men are like, oh, I've never been disappointed.
I was like, no, Like no. Yeah, because we get

(30:40):
disappointed all the time. 42 meets the Johnny Sins category.
Damn. The Mazda 3 man, did you guys
have sex or did you just suck his Dick?
I just asked his D and he you can't say you can't say that.
I just asked his D and he why. Can't you say suck his?
Dick, 'cause that's inappropriate.

(31:02):
Are you fucking kidding, Bitch? Shut the fuck up.
So you. Sucked his Dick.
I asked his D and. I hate you.
See this is the weird thing about me is sometimes I can be
so prude and like bashful over like the dumbest.
Over the weirdest. Shit sucked his Dick SCZ.

(31:26):
If I don't say SEX. What's it say?
What did I say? I said that in an earlier
episode. It's like.
You were like if I really. Spell it out, it doesn't count.
Yeah. So we say S, your D or SEX.
If you spell it out, it doesn't count.

(31:46):
Bitch, they were in you both ways.
So yeah, it does. Anyway, Mazda 3 also has a
Johnny Sins level Dick. So does tall bad man.
That's why I was like, dude, I'mcoming to Saint Pete.
You're really letting me down. OK.

(32:07):
I can't believe he listened to the pod.
He's like, I think I'm the tall bad guy.
I was like, ow. I like that he figured it out
out of all of our names too. At least he he knew he was an,
umm, loser apartment. Guy, well, if he was on the
negative list then like Oh yeah,loser apartment guy, that's bad,

(32:29):
that's my life update. We could just do a whole episode
about my life update and I it's like a member of all of this.
This is when I went on that datewith that like pot sports
podcaster guy. Oh yeah, I forgot about him.
He was like, you have a good following.
You need to sign an NDA before like we have.
And I was like, I'm not doing that.

(32:53):
And he's like, don't talk about me.
I'm like, I'm 1000% gonna talk about you.
Especially now, now that you've said I had to sign a fucking
NDA. Yeah, no, but he was like, wait,
how old is HE38-O? He looks 45.
Anyways, I will leave you with this.
He, he was like going down on meand he invited his like fellow

(33:16):
sports podcaster guy into the bedroom while he was doing that.
And he was like watching whatever.
And then afterwards he was like,I saw you whispering to him
about me. Why would you invite him in the
room? And I was like, I was
incapacitated and I did not invite anyone in the room.
You were the what the fuck? How dare you make me say those
things? I got to find out.

(33:39):
God before we dive into my life update 7 years ago today, Adrian
and I were in Richmond. She was there for like a few
days when I only came in for theday because I was at army
training, but we all went to PBRtogether.
Is that the engagement? Yes, so Adrian's brother.
So PBR. It's just like a bunch of picnic

(34:01):
tables outside. And I look over Adrian's brother
slides an engagement ring on hisgirlfriend's finger.
And I think they had only been dating for like 3 months at the
time. And I go, Did you just propose
to her? And he was like, yeah, I said,
that's all you're going to do. He goes, yeah, I said, I don't

(34:23):
think so. Take that ring off her redoing
this. I was also really drunk at this
point. And I made him, like, get down
on one knee. And I was like, yeah, like,
cheering. And right before that, Adrian
had met that girl that morning. And right before that, he pulled
her across the OR, like, around the corner of the building and
was like, hey, I'm going to propose to her today.
I just wanted to let you know, Ihope you like her.

(34:45):
And Adrian was just like, yeah, great.
I think they ended up, they ended up breaking up.
They were always like on and off.
OK, my life update. It's not as fun as Vicky's.
There's nothing fun about mine. So I went on family vacay with
Mr. W, He went with my family and he brought his kid with him

(35:07):
and I was up there for a week. The first few days I spent with
him and then the last few days Ispent with we spent with my
family. And I have a bunch of nieces and
nephews, but I haven't been around children or like a child
for 24/7. Like literally 24 hours a day,
seven days a week in a really long time.

(35:27):
Yeah. And I was fucking exhausted by
the end of the week. I had to take a nap the day
before I left. I slept for like 2 days after I
got home because on the back endI was with all my family and my
16 nieces and nephews for four days straight cooped up in a
house together. And I'm, I have a big family.
So it's just constant yelling and laughing and cooking and

(35:50):
cleaning and drinking and, and playing and it's just, it's a
lot of fun, but it's fucking exhausting.
And Mr. W and I kind of got intoit once or twice during the trip
just because of things that I had noticed.
And he said he was going to workon them.

(36:11):
And I said you fuck them better and then spoil alert.
We have moved our timeline for moving in together.
So I'm not moving up there at the end of September.
It's probably going to be in January now, which is probably
the worst time to move up there,but whatever.
And also, I had my first therapyappointment after this whole

(36:38):
trip. I'm like talking to we.
We went over the session becausethe session's 55 minutes.
We went over by 10 minutes. So it was an hour and 5 minutes.
And right before we're about to hang up, she goes, yeah, I don't
think you should move in with him.
Bye. See you in two weeks.
Click. OK.
Sick. I think she wanted to leave you

(37:00):
with those thoughts to ponder onbefore your next session.
Yeah, for sure. And something happened today and
I was like oh fuck, I need to bring this up to my therapist
and I already forgot what it was.
I was like, oh, I need to write this down.
Already slipped out of my mind. It's gone and.
That's the thing every time thatthey're like, like I've tried
therapy and like it's not for me.

(37:22):
I half the time I get there and I'm like, I don't even remember
what I wanted to talk to you about.
So like writing down notes is like very valid.
This is like the same thing I did with my ex.
I was like, I want to tell you all these things in this moment
that I forget. And if I don't write it down,
then I'll never say it. Yeah, so I decided today I was
like, since I already forgot what I wanted to talk to her

(37:44):
about, I'm going to start a therapy note in my notes section
on my phone. So that way, 'cause I don't know
why she said two weeks maybe to let me ponder because this is my
first time ever doing therapy. And I in my head, I was like,
oh, I probably won't even have that much to talk about, but I
felt like I did not take a breath during the session and.

(38:04):
Did you cry the whole time? No.
I thought I was going to cry, but I didn't cry at all.
I didn't get weepy at all. And at one point I, I'm like
talking about something and I stopped and I said I don't know
where I was going with that. I don't remember your question
and I'm just kind of talking outmy ass now and she starts
laughing and she's like, it's OK, I'll bring you back.

(38:26):
I was like, I was hoping I wouldfind my thought eventually.
So I just stopped talking and I didn't know where I was going
with it. But I like her a lot.
I gave her a five star rating good under our first session.
And my next appointment is rightbefore I'm supposed to go visit
Mr. W again, but I don't know ifthat's going to happen.
So we wouldn't have any free time together.

(38:47):
And that was another reason why him and I got kind of got into
it is because we had zero free time together.
Like there was one night when wewere up at the lake house with
my family and his son was asleepand we're like whisper whisper.
We weren't fighting but like kind of like Whisper tipping
with each other because he had to be quiet.

(39:08):
And it was the first time we hadbeen able to have an adult
conversation in like 4 days and I was.
Like and he was like. Just like I was like, you need
to be quiet. You're going to wake him up.
Geez. Yeah, I was like, what the fuck?
Sometimes I'm like I would be fine being a stepmom but it's

(39:33):
how do I say this? In those moments it was really
fucking hard, I'll tell you thatmuch.
Well, it's just like I'm not perfect at parenting.
Like my mom had a home daycare, sure.
But like there definitely is a level of like, I mean, part of
why I left my ex is his sister had an oopsie baby and I felt
like the way the child was beingraised by his mother was not the

(39:56):
way that I would want my kids tobe raised.
And that was very eye opening tome.
Well, he's probably being raisedexactly the way that your ex
husband's being. Right.
Well, that was like a whole fight is he was like, well, it's
free childcare, you know, like Iturned out OK.
And I'm like, I'm not saying youdidn't turn out OK.
I'm just saying this child, likeif we ever had a kid together,

(40:18):
hypothetically, it would be like100% of you and 0% of me.
Just how this entire relationship has been.
It's all about you, you, you andwhat you want.
And he's like, oh, well, it's free child care.
And I was like, OK, like a lot of things are free.
If you make so much money, then like, why are why do we care
about this? Let's, you know, let's do what
makes sense for both of us. But anyway, I think I told you

(40:40):
about the salad moment. Maybe.
So we were having a family dinner at his parents house and
my ex nephew can you call it that?
An ex nephew of mine. He really likes salad.
So his my his grandma, my mother-in-law put salad on his
plate. He forks it into his mouth,

(41:02):
spits it back into his hand and throws it into the communal
salad bowl that everyone is likeserving out of.
And they all laugh and proceed to eat the baby spit up salad
that's in the bowl. Including my now ex-husband.
And he's like oh he's just a kidit doesn't matter he doesn't
care. But I'm just like the germs, the

(41:24):
behavior that was so repulsive to me.
It's one thing for a kid to do something like that, but for the
rest of the family to laugh about him, think that it was OK.
That was a very eye opening moment.
I could never procreate with this person.
We literally talked it to death that I was like, this was the
most repulsive behavior I've ever seen.

(41:46):
And like, again, kids will be kids.
Kids are fucking gross. I'm not like I'm not born to
changing diapers or kids doing gross things since the time I
was born until the age of 18. And I like taught dance to
toddlers. Like I know how to change
diapers. I babysat.
Like it's not about that. It was about the behavior.
And that's why when you tell me about like your relationship

(42:07):
with Mr. W and his kid and it's like you don't agree on the
parenting style. That's something that like I
would be a stepmom all day, but if you're going to let your kid
behave in a way that is so like off putting and egregious to me
that I can't get past it becauselike kids, kids have bad
behavior. Like every time I go in the
airport and I see a family with like like a single mom flying

(42:31):
with her kids, like they're I'veseen that them that are well
behaved and then I've seen the ones that are like unhinged
fucking trolls that are ruining everybody's day.
Right. And that whole salad thing, he
got a laugh out of it, so he thinks it's OK.
So he's gonna continuously repeat that behavior until it
is. Corrected.
I'm like, you're 3-4 years old, you're doing this now and it's

(42:54):
like if you're comprehending this at this age and you guys,
oh, he's just a kid. It doesn't matter.
And like, between that and his family, like chain smoking
cigarettes around him, I was just like, I can't.
Yeah, and you can only use the excuse of he's just a kid until
a certain age, and then at that point I'm like, OK, now he's not

(43:14):
just a kid. He's a little fucking shit head.
Like he's a little terrorist. And if you don't clock that
behavior at a certain point in their lives, it is you then have
to like overcorrect and it turnsinto a freaking nightmare of
overcorrecting. Like I have friends with kids.
I'm one of 11, I have 16 nieces and nephews.
Like I have seen all of my siblings go through it.

(43:36):
And it sucks in the beginning, but then it's so well worth it
when they get a little bit older.
Because now all my nieces and nephews, like yes, they still
have their moments of like throwing a tantrum or whatever,
but they're few and far between.And that's OK.
Like we all have like our crash outs and our bad days.
I do as an adult, but they're all well-rounded kids now
because my siblings and my friends put in the effort of

(43:59):
when they were young. They're like, no, you cannot do
this. This is right, this is wrong.
When I say no, that's a full sentence.
You will not do that again. And I enjoy hanging out with
them because they're good kids and they're not little
terrorist. Right, not us giving parenting
advice. I'm not saying we're perfect.
I'm not saying we're perfect, but like like first and

(44:22):
foremost, it would take a lot for me to have a kid with
anyone, for me to have a kid with anyone and sacrifice my
career and like. My body.
My body and like for me to procreate, like there is a lot
of things that have to be right with the person that I'm going
to do it with in order for me tobe in.
And something that was very likeeye opening to me is like our

(44:45):
parenting styles were never going to be the same.
Not to mention, like I was raising my husband.
I didn't need to be raising two kids.
He's like, we should have a kid.And I was like, why?
You're in Egypt 3-3 weeks out ofthe year, you're doing whatever.
I'm like, you're not here for me, let alone the kid.
I might as well just be a singlemom now.
So we'd all hate the single moms.
Single moms are like the punching bag for everyone.

(45:05):
Yeah, and they're the strongest people in the world.
But I think I said this to you one time.
I was like, I'm so glad you never had a kid with him because
it would have ruined your life like so much more than he like
already had ruined your spirit. I was like, because it would
have fallen on to you to be the parent and the disciplinary and

(45:26):
you would have had to do all of the hard shit while he would
have been like, oh, it's so cool.
Like I have a kid. Like, look how great of a dad I
am. Like how he is for everything.
I'm such a good person. As Taylor Swift said, he amassed
his narcissism with his altruism.
OK. So which he learned from my
ex-boyfriend Mr. Bankrupt. Like once you would have had

(45:49):
that child I know he would have pushed for you to quit your job
and would have pushed for you tobe a stay at home mom even
though he doesn't work at all. So like he could have easily
been a stay at home dad or he would have want the kid to be
with its grandma while they're chain smoking next to it.
Right. And it just would have.

(46:10):
Like there was no, like every time I contemplated with him
about having a kid, I was like, there was no when that made
sense for me to have the baby with him.
There was no like, yeah, no. Yeah.
And because he would have wantedto be like, I'm the cool fun
parent and he wouldn't have wanted to be like the bad guy or

(46:33):
do any of that type of stuff, which every parent has to.
It's not fun being the bad guy, but you have to do it.
Yeah, so. This is our parenting advice
type. Any advice?
Not before you tap it. Grace and I don't use condoms.
That's why I got an IUD. Oh, but grace.

(46:55):
Oh, but grace that only Texans babies, not STD's.
Oh my God. OK, Speaking of babies, Mr. W
went golfing with a bunch of hisfriends and his brother Saturday
and he calls me on his way home and he's drunk and we're talking
about stuff and somehow babies, I think maybe we were talking

(47:17):
about his kid or something and he was like, oh, like you, you
don't want to have a kid with me, which we have both decided,
like very solidified that we will not be having kids
together. I told him that was my biggest
thing. I said if you want to have a kid
with me, said I'm not the one. And if you want another kid, go
find someone else because it's not me.

(47:38):
And he's always said, well, I don't want to be 75 while my kid
is graduating high school. I'm like valid so.
And he I like, part of me was like, are these like thoughts
you've had? Because like, we do have a good
relationship and I know I'd be agood mom.
But are you saying this because you kind of think that like
maybe you are on the way of like, oh, maybe we should have a

(48:01):
kid together because that shit is not happening.
And then I watched a TikTok today that validated my
feelings. Because we take all our mental
health advice from TikTok. Well, a lot of.
Girls in the comments were talking about all the guys who
say, oh, yeah, I don't want kids.
Like, we don't have to have kids.
Or when they say they're fine with you not having kids, in

(48:24):
their head, they're really just like, OK, I can.
I'll just convince her later. And then like, if that's just
more, I don't think so. No.
I mean like we already live suchbusy lives.
See, this is the thing 42 is like, yeah, I want kids but so
here's a red flag. He is the youngest brother of

(48:45):
three. None of them are married. 464442
never been married. I was telling this to my jazz
ladies and they were like, is hea mama's boy?
Are they all mama's boys is whatthey suggested and and he's the
youngest 1 and I was like, maybeyou just have poor role models
or like he he did say he was dating this girl for a while.

(49:08):
She like, moved in with him to his place in Spring Hill and
like, quit her job and was like,let's renovate this and buy all
of this. And he's like, so you just like
you moved in with me and now youexpect me to pay for everything
just like on the drop of a dime.Yikes.
Which for the record, he does not let me pay for anything.
He literally like bought wine for me and my friends and like

(49:32):
came out with us after we were already a couple drinks deep,
like kind of drunk. Like he was very thoughtful with
everyone and got along with everyone.
So it's like, it's a shame that you don't like me.
That's different than me moving in together.
I mean, like, hey, I want to completely renovate this house.
That's like. That's what I'm just saying.
I want to like, I want to just like validate that just because

(49:54):
he didn't want to pay for this girl's like lifestyle that like
he does pay for me, he doesn't like.
Yeah. Which like I told him, it makes
me uncomfortable that he pays for me.
I don't know what you do when you're single.
When I'm single, I don't let guys pay for me.
Not that I mean, I'm going to put out anyway.
Maybe I should let guys pay for me because like, I'm sure in

(50:14):
some women's mindset, it's like,oh, if I let him pay, then he
expects something. But I still don't let them pay
and I still don't think they expect.
Something now that I think about, I don't know if I've ever
gone if I go Dutch on a bill with a date, that means you will
never see me again. Yeah, like I'm.

(50:36):
That is my way of being like this was fucked and I don't want
him to be able to be like, whoa,they pay for a gate me, me, me.
Like one time I went on a date with this dude.
We went to Buffalo Wild Wings and we were just like talking
about stuff. And he was like really cute in
his pictures. He's cute in person, but his

(50:58):
personality over text messages to his personality in person, I
was like who the IT was like very different.
And his personality in person was fucking annoying.
And he had one of those haircutswhere it's shaved all around
except for right here. It's like long.
So he'd like put it in like a little like bun right here.
So it was so gross. I know.

(51:19):
And he wrote a note on my motorcycle.
I was very mentally ill in this part of my life.
And at one point we are, I thinkit's towards the end of the day
and he's talking about what kindof dog he wants.
He's like, oh, you're golden. So cute.
It's like, oh, thanks. He's like, I've always like
thought about like getting a Husky.

(51:39):
I was like, Oh my God, like I could never do like with the
howling and the barking or whatever.
He's like, well, they're just like women.
I said, what the fuck does that mean?
He's like, oh, well, they're always talking and like, they're
always so loud and like, they never know when to stop.
And he like, and he laughs and Ilooked at him and I said, yeah,
I don't think so. And then he's like, oh, I'll

(52:00):
walk you to your car. I said, no, you don't need to.
I'll walk myself to my car. And then I blocked him as soon
as I, like, I literally got in my car and he tried to, like,
give me a kiss. And I, like, leaned away and I
got in my Jeep and I could tell he was still trying to give me a
kiss because he was, like, rolled the window down.

(52:20):
So I, like, rolled it halfway down.
I was like, yeah. He was like, oh, I had a fun
time. Like, I'll talk to you later.
I was like, yeah, totally. And then as I'm driving out of
the parking lot, I said block. Yikes.
Yeah, I've definitely had some guys say some offensive thing.
I I'm not the one to say something offensive too.
All of that to say is I made himpay for my dinner because I was

(52:45):
like you're so fucking annoying and I'm never going to see you
again. If I know I'm never going to see
them again, I'm going to make them pay for my dinner.
No yes I usually always made them pay for my dinner.
And like it's not like I would ever get anything expensive.
Like I would get like 1/2 salad or something.
There was this one dude I remember and.
For the lady, perhaps. A salad, perhaps not.

(53:09):
Perhaps. Not.
All the steak smothered an onions smothered an onions I.
Watched that the other day and Iwas like fuck this movie so
good. But this one guy we went to the
cellar and he was like let's get2 pizzas.
He got us a bottle of wine, he got an appetizer, and I was

(53:31):
like, I can't eat all of this. And I think I ended up eating
like. Maybe 2?
Slices no thank God because I was broke as fuck during this.
I remember this and I was like, I hope he pays for this because
my car. Is getting declined we.
Will not be swiping that we willbe doing dishes in the back but

(53:54):
he paid for it all. This was also the dude that I
literally undressed in front of him so I was like we would on
like 3 dates. At this point I was like I want
to fuck and I undressed in frontof him.
We laid in bed and all he did was hold my hand while we slept
and then we never spoke again. I bet he had a micro penis and
he was too scared to show you. Maybe, I guess I do intimidate

(54:18):
men. So thanks for coming to episode
13 of our life Updates and parenting advice from 2 girls
who have no kids. You know what?
My mom had a home daycare for 30years.

(54:39):
When my twin brother and I were born.
She quit her accounting job and she started a home daycare.
Back in the 90s, you could have six kids, not including your
own. So there were like 8 of us like
in this house growing up from when we were like newborns.
My mom retired, I'm 31 now. She retired about a year and a
half ago, so she took care of babies in her house for like 30

(55:01):
years. And it's always been like, I
believe that I would be a good parent for the right person.
Like I learned a lot through her.
She is a great mom. We don't always see eye to eye,
huh? So are you going to cry?
No, I'm not going to cry. I don't like, I don't fucking
cry. I'm in my hater era.

(55:22):
Person I know. I'm not weepy.
I'm not weepy because the 42 year old did not reciprocate my
feelings. So now I'm just on a rage fit.
And no. But my mom is a great mom and
she's great with all of these kids.
And like she is a well renowned like child daycare and so many
people always want to like go see my mom for her home daycare
stuff, which I think is amazing and I think what she does is

(55:43):
amazing. I never would have the patience
for what she does. Never in a million years.
I learned a lot through her likeon how to parent and take care
of babies. And I do like babies.
Do I want 1 coming out of my uterus?
No because my body is hot as fuck right now so I'm like fuck
y'all I don't want this baby coming out of my belly because

(56:04):
I'm getting so much attention, OK?
And I know people are people whoare into babies are like that's
so selfish. Like you don't want to ruin your
body. And I'm like, I don't want to
ruin my body. I don't want to be a parent.
The see look at the state of theworld D the United States of
America has the highest what is it mortality rate for women who

(56:30):
are pregnant. I'm fucking good, I don't need
to. Also they literally just
harvested a baby from a dead woman because they wouldn't let
it. Die.
Why would this always turn political?
I'm sorry, I can't help it. You know how I feel about
bodies, even a topic for politics.

(56:52):
Exactly what happened to the right of privacy?
I'm not a feminist. I'm kind of a bad liberal, a
feminist. Todd, everyone's a feminist.
OK, but. Unless you're actively go
whatever, you're a bad feminist,you are one because you're very

(57:12):
career driven. You live alone, you're
independent. That is all because of feminism.
No it's OK, I just lost my braincells.
It's from fucking all these losers.
It's from fucking all these Republican ass men.
They're sucking it out of you. Yeah, they're just like
inseminating me with Republicanism.

(57:38):
I live in Nashville, what do youexpect?
I know is. Mr. W Liberal.
Kinda. He's, well, he's from a swing
state and he I know he voted forObama because, you know, he's
old. Other than that, he didn't tell

(58:00):
me who he voted for in this election because I said if it
goes away, I don't want it to go.
I said I will break up with you over.
That. And so, yes.
OK, there is a different pause. There's a difference between
being like a hardcore Trump supporter and voting Republican.
Yeah, but now you can't really differentiate the two because

(58:21):
he's taken over the Republican Party.
So I have some moderate beliefs because I'm fine.
I'm fiscally moderate but like, that's fine.
I live in a state where there's no abortion, which is also
fucking terrifying. And most people, like, if you

(58:43):
look at the polls of people throughout the United States,
most people like, I think it's like 60.
I could be talking out of my ass.
Someone correct me. 60 to 70% ofpeople, like, they learn more
moderate, like most people are more purple because, you know,
they're like, OK, we shouldn't be spending all this money, like
our government money on shit that we don't need to.

(59:03):
Like they are more like fiscallyresponsible, but they also
believe in like, their rights and liberties for everyone.
They're like, yeah, the government shouldn't be telling
people what they can and cannot do with their bodies or what
they do in the privacy of their own homes, right?
But we have such extremism on both the left and the right now
that it's so hard to get a moderate candidate like they

(59:28):
they won't win. Right.
So yeah, this episode was about I'm not opposed to dating
someone Republican. I can't be here in Nashville
because like a lot of people are, but if they like, like I

(59:48):
definitely dated guys or talked to guys that are like, Oh yeah,
I don't believe in abortion. And I'm just like, that's
fucking insane. That is fucking insane.
Like I could never be with a person like that.
Never, ever, ever. But Speaking of Republican boys,
do you know how many people in my family, when I was with them
last week, came up and was like,do Vicki and Michael have a

(01:00:09):
thing? What?
Because he was because he was featured on our episode, episode
12, and because he like lives inNashville.
So they saw him like in your apartment in the background.
And I was like, no, you fucking idiot.
He was just staying with her while he like his Elise started.
And they're like, OK, well, I said all because you saw one
video of the three of us chatting you.

(01:00:32):
This is how rumors happen in my family.
No, I got so much hate for my friends and like guys, I was
talking to you that were like, who's this guy in your
apartment? Like all my friends are like,
who is this man? And I was like, they were like,
can he have a seat? Why is he standing behind you?
And I was like, because he walked into the room.
It's like he's staying in my guest bed.

(01:00:56):
He's basically your little. Brother, like people need to
chill the fuck out. All that to say, 13, it was kind
of a roller coaster. We went from life updates to
parenting parent advice. To.
Politics so. That's what is unique.
But yeah, thanks for coming to another episode of your secret

(01:01:18):
safe with a. We hope you enjoyed the roller
coaster of episode 13. You can listen to us wherever
you get your podcasts, Spotify, Apple, Amazon.
Our episodes are on YouTube if you want to watch them.
I still need to upload episode 12 but they are on YouTube if
you want to watch them instead of listen and follow us on
Instagram and subscribe on YouTube.

(01:01:40):
I will let you guys know how my trip to.
Saint Pete Solo goes. I'm literally going by myself.
I booked this bougie ass hotel for myself.
I'm in my queen era and I think I'm going to have a great
vacation. I'm going to go to Jazzercise,
of course. I'm going to go to Jazzercise.
Of course, Florida, of course, probably do some water.

(01:02:01):
Oh, and and Vicki and I are going to be.
Together at the end of August. Are we actually this time?
Last time we spoke this into. Existence.
We both got the flu and fucking died.
So I'm a little but yeah. So stay tuned.
For episode 14 and farewell everybody if you don't have a

(01:02:24):
Johnny Sins level Dick. Yeah, so remember your.
Secret's always safe with a illyilly.