Ep 14: Zodiac Signs: The Stars Made Us Do It

The stars have aligned… for chaos. In this episode, Grace (our resident Leo) and Vikki (our stubborn Taurus) roast their own zodiac signs, spill on dating compatibility disasters, and confess which signs they’d cancel completely. From main character syndrome and nap addictions to petty astrology opinions, we’re dragging ourselves—and you—through the horoscope drama.

🎧 Tune in now and don’t forget to rate us 5 stars—because Grace’s Leo ego needs it and Vikki’s Taurus energy will fight you if you don’t.

Episode Transcript

(00:04):
We are live. We are live with your secret
safe with a I'm Vicki. This is Grace.
Welcome to Say. Oh God, I'm just.
Oh, OK, We're we're there. Yeah, this is the most like
Thursday, Tuesday of my life. I feel like I'm just like if

(00:25):
work could be anal sex. This was anal with no Lube the
last two days. Ow Yikes.
I just feel like I have been spread so thin and I'm so busy
and. Literally, you're being.
Spread thin. Literally.
Literally. What is it, Hannah from Love

(00:48):
Island? You know what I'm talking about.
OK, we'll have to pull up this clip so you don't think that I'm
stupid as crap. But no, it has been a work week.
It has been a period week. So I'm on my period right now.
I don't know if you do this, butI habitually do this.

(01:10):
I am on a Nuva ring for birth control and I had strep throat
earlier this month. And sometimes antibiotics can
make birth control like not effective.
So I had some questionable sex over the last month where I was
like having sex while I was on an antibiotic and not being
safe. So I took out my nuva ring and.

(01:32):
You not being safe. OK, me not being safe anyway, I,
I, you take out your Nuva ring and your period's supposed to
start. And I kid you not, I do this
every single month. I do this every single month.
I take out my Nuva ring and I expect my period to start
immediately. It'll be like 2 days, three

(01:53):
days. And I'm like, you know what?
I'm pregnant. This is it.
This is the moment. And I'm literally over here
Googling like the closest state where you can get an abortion
because it's illegal in Tennessee.
I'm peeing on a stick and I always keep pregnancy tests in
my bathroom and I don't know if you do this but I do this.

(02:15):
I always get juked out about which line is the one that means
you're pregnant. I always panic because I always
keep a pregnancy. I keep a pregnancy test on me at
all times even though I have an IUD.
But like I've been on the pill. I've had the Nuva ring before
too. I always keep one on deck just
in case because having a baby that's not in my jurisdiction.

(02:37):
No, but I have to always look itup at the like the directions.
I'm like, is it one line or two lines?
And I'm like, is this line? And I'm like, Oh my God, is
there actually a faint line in there?
I'm like God, I'm pregnant. Literally, literally me like a
couple days ago because it's there's the circle and then
there's the Oval. And if you get 2 lines, you're

(02:59):
pregnant. But in my mind, there shouldn't
be any lines. Like if there's nothing that
you're picking up, there shouldn't be any lines.
But the, the Oval is like the test line.
That means that like it's the control.
And then it like fucking worked.But every time I pee on a stick,
I kid you not, I I never see thefirst line because that's the
one that means you're pregnant. I see the second line and every
time I see it appearing I'm likefuck, today is the day.

(03:19):
And then I'm like, wait, this still means I'm negative.
So one of my friends, they foundout they were pregnant and I was
like asking them about it and they didn't even take a
pregnancy test. They just went straight to the
doctor and she was like, I was afew days late and I just knew
immediately. She's like, I've had, she's
like, there have been times before where I'm like, Oh my

(03:40):
God, I'm pregnant. She's like, but this time it
felt different. She's like, I knew for a fact.
And she went straight to the doctor and was like, give me a
pregnancy test. Give me like I need 100% if I am
or not. And they're like, yeah, you are.
And she's like. So did she have it or did she
get an abortion? She's kept it, but like I was

(04:01):
asking her about I was like, so you just like knew.
And she's like my body felt different.
She's like, I just like it. I just knew.
I just felt different and I was like, damn.
OK, I do not claim this energy. Get this.
Get this negative energy away from me.
I'm. Bleeding.
I'm like I'm actively bleeding so we are good.
I am not pregnant. I'm on my period yet again and I

(04:22):
wasted a pregnancy test yet again.
Like literally peed on a stick and I kid you not an hour later
my period started. It was like, let me just use up
your pregnancy test fund just for funsies.
Mine always does that we're likeif I am going to start like
within the week of my period andI have sex like it jump starts
my period like it comes early and I'm like cool thanks

(04:45):
anyways. Great intro, Great intro.
We're just talking about period.It's and how we're not having
kids even though last episode wethought it was a good idea to
give you parenting advice. No.
Speaking of last. Episode people that like this
episode a lot. I had a friend who has kids and
they were like, I know you and Vicki don't have kids, but she

(05:07):
was like, you guys can actually give some pretty solid parenting
advice on the last episode. She's like, I mean, you were a
great odd. So like that doesn't surprise
me. And she's like, and everything
you guys said, she's like, I wasnodding along like Yup, Yup,
facts. And I was like, OK, all right,
so watch out for our parenting book.

(05:27):
Yeah, we'll parenting brought toyou by the badge.
Welcome back to your secret safewith a We are at episode 14 and
we're The only thing more unhinged that our dating lives
is the fact that we may or may not believe in Mercury in

(05:48):
retrograde or microwave and Gatorade, whatever however you
say it. Yeah, I'm like, what is the
saying? Mercury is in retrograde?
I swear I've seen so many funny ones that are like is Mercury in
lemonade again or something but OK, you believe in it.
I believe in tequila and taking naps.
What the fuck is this? Well, that's.

(06:16):
What? No, stop.
Sometimes I swear to God like this is not ChatGPT, this is you
just writing dumb shit to make me say like the dumbest fucking.
Lie, it's ChatGPT like I input what I want the episode to be
about. And then?
Because like I have like a like an agent with it now.

(06:36):
Sometimes I'll input our transcripts and be like, no,
make it sound more like on us. And I just say send me like an
outline of a script. Sometimes it'll give me lines,
sometimes it doesn't. And this time it gave me.
These lines, so it's saying I don't believe in Mercury and
retrograde, but I do believe in tequila and taking naps.
Which you do. That's literally 2 of like your

(06:58):
personality traits. OK, yeah.
I mean, I'm a Taurus. What do you expect?
Exactly, you are a Taurus, you guys are professional nappers,
while I'm a Leo and it's Leo season which means I'm always
the main character. I'm like, this is Grace's time
to be the main character. It is her birthday on Thursday.

(07:19):
The day, all right, it's the day.
Before this episode comes out, so.
Yeah, August 14th. It's Grace's birthday.
Like I said in the last episode,Leo best friend, Yes, Leo
husband, no, no, no, no. So this episode we are talking

(07:40):
about Zodiac signs and what theymean, who you're most compatible
with, whether it's a friendship,a relationships.
I never really believed in signsand what it meant.
I think it's because I'm a twin and when I think about my twin
brother, he and I could not be more different.

(08:01):
But I also believe that gender plays a role in the Zodiac sign
and the way that you behave. So I don't know.
I've seen some, there's been sometimes recently that I'm just
like, you know, maybe I do believe in this, that Mercury is
in lemonade. So while microwave is in the

(08:21):
Gatorade, I have two two guy friends, one is gay, one is
straight and they're both AugustLeo's.
And it's funny because the straight 1 is very different
from me, but the gay one, him and I have a lot in common.
And I'm like, I wonder if that'sbecause like it plays a role in
like gender roles. Like do you know what I'm trying

(08:44):
to say? Yeah, like.
Being more fluid. Being more fluid, I can see that
and like, yeah, but no, I have alot of friends that really like
believe in this stuff and they want to know like they're like,
what's your sun and your moon and your rising?
And I'm like, I don't know. And they're like, text your mom

(09:06):
immediately. When were you born?
Where were you born? Like all of these things like to
help you figure it out. I have a couple friends that use
like the Zodiac like not dating apps but like kind of dating
apps. Hold on, there's an app called
Costar. Yes, this is the one I'm
thinking of. And I used to have it because
like some it'll give you like daily affirmations based on like

(09:29):
your sun sign, which is like your main one.
Yeah, a lot of people use that. And I have two of my friends, 1
specifically. She very much like is into this.
And my sister-in-law has a really good friend and she will
be like, Oh no, there's a type of blood moon in the ether of

(09:51):
the waxing Crescent. And I don't know, like the
terminology. And she's like, I can't make it.
Like it's telling me that I needto stay home.
And I'm like, I need to start saying that I'm a super crystal
astrology girly so I can start using those as my excuses.
Yeah, I know. I'm like an excuse to stay home.
I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's probably nicer than

(10:13):
when I'm just like, I don't wantto go and I'm not coming.
Well, maybe that's just part of your side as a Leo.
Oh. True, true.
Or maybe that's your moon, right?
So like if you have your main asyour sun sign, maybe because I
feel like a lot of the time you do want to be social, at least
with the right people. But then like, maybe your moon

(10:34):
is like, no, maybe your moon is on its period.
I think my SO I can't. I think my moon is cancer.
Which is funny because my dog Charlotte?
Her rising sign? Is cancer?
I have to look this up. Oh my gosh.
I'm pretty sure my moon is Scorpio.

(10:54):
Which is funny because like, I traditionally do not get along
with Scorpio women. Yeah, my Mr. Bank wrote my
ex-boyfriend. He is a Scorpio and then in my
current boyfriend Mr. W is also a Scorpio.
Oh, that's interesting. Right, but I feel like they're
two opposite ends of Scorpios. Yeah, see, Mr. Spreadsheet was a

(11:18):
Cancer and my ex-husband was a Leo.
OK, so your son is Taurus Moon and Scorpio, Mercury and Taurus.
You have a lot of Taurus placements in Africa, Scorpio, I
don't know what any of that means, but usually when you have
like a predominant sign, I don'tknow.

(11:44):
She's educated enough to talk about this.
We might have been more educatedto talk on parroting.
I should have made my friend, myfriend that lives in New York.
I should have made her join because she is like very versed
in all of this. Wait.
I just want to know my three main ones like my sun, moon
rising. OK, so your rising sign is
Libra. Yeah, I really am a sensitive

(12:10):
gangster God. You're 11,433 days old.
Sounds so old when it's like in days and not years.
I'm the crypt keeper. OK, so yeah, Taurus Libras
rising Scorpio of Moon. OK, what are you?

(12:34):
Oh. This is my This is my Co star
message for my birthday. 32 is ayear you make the same mistakes
again and again for. Mistakes.
This year, your task is to stop shrinking yourself into spaces
that are too small for you. You're bigger and better than
you, yet know. When someone tells you you're
great, agree with them. As you head into this next year,

(12:56):
recognize are all kinds of livesworth living.
You decide which you want moves.OK, let's do life update and
then we can dive into compatibility.
Life Update The last episode I talked about how I was treating
myself to a solo trip to Florida.
I did that. It was excellent.
I stayed at the dawn, which is like the Pink Palace and.

(13:19):
It was so cute I didn't realize it was like a legit pink palace.
Yes, it's legit like a pink palace.
It's like the cutest resort on Saint Pete Beach by far.
And I'm, I don't know, as soon as I got off like the plane and
I saw a palm tree, it was like instant serotonin.
Like, I definitely felt healed. I walked on the beach, I did
sunrise walks every morning. I went on 2 Hinge dates when I

(13:43):
was in Florida. Well, 2 1/2, we'll call it 2
1/2. You in your half?
2 1/2 first one Thursday night. He was a lawyer.
Honestly, I feel like I talk about my job a lot.
This person talked about his jobmore than I did.
Lawyers are like they're notoriously known for talking

(14:05):
about their job. Yeah, yeah.
He's like a personal injury lawyer.
Oh. My God, does he have one of
those stupid billboards? Please tell me yes.
No, but he works for a big company that has one of those
stupid billboards. But anyway, we went on a date.
He's like, we do a couple fun places, whatever.

(14:26):
The next day I was at the beach by myself and I was like on the
phone with someone and I was talking about my divorce.
And these four girls who are amazing and awesome, like
overheard me talking about my divorce.
And one of the girls in the friend group had like, also
gotten divorced and they like, sent me a drink and now we're
all like, besties. And I went to dinner with them.

(14:47):
I was wondering who you went to dinner with and I was like, oh,
that's fun. Yeah, I know.
So I met these four girls and they they live in Saint Pete.
But they were like, we've never stayed at the Dawn because as we
live in Saint Pete, so we're doing a staycation even though
we live 15 minutes down the road.
And they just, like, got a room at the Dawn for the weekend.
They're between the ages of 26 and 31.

(15:08):
And I just, like, went to dinnerwith them.
And then, like, the night after,we were, like, dancing with the
saxophone player in the lobby ofthe Dawn.
But one of my Hinge dates, he came and met me at the beach,
and he dropped the N word. Yeah.
And they heard it. Yeah, your face right now.

(15:31):
And I was like, did you just saythe hard R?
And he was like, Oh yeah, my friend and I say that to each
other all the time. Yes.
He's 40. And was like dropping the N word
around me and these random girlson the beach.
And he was like, did I ick you? And I was like, yes, like 1000%

(15:52):
yes. So that's why it's a half
because like we hung out on the beach for maybe 30 minutes and I
was like, I gotta go like this is not it Cuz I was hanging out
with him cuz he was like, I wantto take you on a boat on Sunday.
And I was like, I guess I'm gonna hit.
But when he dropped the N word Iwas like, I will not be going on
this boat. Like, absolutely not.

(16:13):
My God. Yeah.
Fuck is wrong with people? I'm not going to go into a rant.
Yeah, he said it a couple times,just like casually.
The first time he said it like Iwas so like starstruck that I
was just like, what is happeningyou?
Have to do like a double take where you're like, that wasn't

(16:34):
real. I heard something.
No. And it was just, yeah.
And then the last guy I met, he was actually really sweet.
And he he was like, you know, ifyou ever decide to move to
Florida, we should hang out. And he was really nice.
No, but I don't know. I kind of missed 42 of the time

(16:55):
I was there. And like, we messaged the whole
time on and off. I know in the last, like,
episode, I talked about how I was going to, like, dead him
because like, he didn't he didn't reciprocate my feels, but
I called him out. I called him out for not
reciprocating the feels. It went really well.
Good. It went really well and he was
like, you know, what did he say?I feel like I have to read the

(17:17):
receipts. I also told him his dog looks
like Jabba the Hutt. Oh, that was funny though.
It was so funny. OK, this is what I said.
And so he was asking me how the Don was because he was the one
who recommended it to me and he was like I'd be bending you over

(17:40):
the balcony and I was like I'll send you pics for inspiration.
And I was like also has anyone ever told you that you're really
hard to read lol. And he was like no not ever.
Although I am a little defensiveabout diving into relationships
sometimes to avoid getting hurt.Also I don't want to come across
as too needy. I was like totally
understandable. We can just keep it casual.

(18:00):
I know we're both busy people. So I'm like, fuck you.
I'm a he was like, I would like to be in a relationship, but I
know how dating is these days and so forth.
And I'm very loyal when I'm all in with someone.
I really like you and I want to get to know you better and see
where this goes. But also no pressure or
anything. I was like, oh, I was like,
yeah, I talked shit about you onthe podcast, podcast.

(18:23):
And I was like, and please don'tever listen if you ever want to
actually like me. It is not for your ears.
Oh. My God, you're going to go viral
someday. But.
We can help. Yeah.
Anyway, I was like, yeah, I, I talked on the podcast about how

(18:44):
you said something that rubbed me the wrong way and that I'm
never talking to you anymore. And I was like, oh, and I
definitely talked about your Dick too.
And I was like, you get a rape review.
And he said, wait, what did I say?
And I like sent him the screenshot.
So basically what he's what I said is if we keep hanging out
regularly, I'm going to catch feels lol.
It's like the monkey hiding. And he responded with haha, take

(19:06):
it slow. And then like that's where I
left things goodbye. And anyway I sent him the
screenshot and I like highlighted the message because
he was like what did I say? And I was like, this comment
almost got you ghosted. I was like, never mind.
The vibes are all in my head andI will never message him again.
He was like oh I meant let's like spend time together and get
to know each other better. I guess it came across wrong in

(19:26):
text. I'm feeling the same.
I'm feeling the same vibes aboutyou as you do about me.
Why didn't he say that men are fucking stupid?
Yeah, I was like, it did not come across that way via text.
So I was like, yeah, so I'm on the pod.
I'm like, I like him, but I'm not talking to him anymore.
And he's like, well, you took itthe wrong way.

(19:46):
You may need to edit and redo the podcast.
Nope, I was just. Like.
This is what I said. I said I just need to remember
next time that you're old and don't text regularly.
I forgot that your bedtime's 7:00 PM.
He's like, I feel like I'm youngthough.
He apologized and he was like, no, like I feel the vibes that

(20:08):
you feel. And I was like, then fucking say
that, motherfucker. Literally cod.
But anyway, we found out a couple times since it's fine.
He hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend or anything so keep
my eyes open. He hasn't.
Proclaimed but he's absolutely in love and obsessed with me yet
so. I don't feel enough obsession

(20:30):
and like, OK, hear me out. The sex is good, but like it's
just sex. It's not a lot of foreplay.
Like I don't think he does a lotof foreplay because like he
doesn't have to because he has areally good Dick.
Either that or maybe he only does it with people that he's
really like emotionally connected to or like intimate
with. And like the sex is still really

(20:52):
good, but like it's not, it's not freaky enough for me.
Like you can have a big Dick andnot be freaky.
Oh yeah, because they don't do as much because they have a big
Dick and they know they can get away with not having to do as
much work. Just like how, I don't know if
you ever heard this. Like girls who are really,

(21:14):
really fucking hot usually are kind of boring in bed because
their hotness gets them in the door.
And then all they have to do is starfish and the guy can be like
look at this hottest bitch I fucked.
Yep, exactly. And I don't know, he's got his
life together. And like this is the thing.
It's like I go back and forth. It's like the people that are
freaky in bed don't have their fucking shit together and then

(21:35):
the people that have their shit together, like this guy at least
has a big Dick. So like that got him through the
door. But like I just, I don't want to
have to coach you to be freaky. Either you are or you aren't.
And like, I feel like by now I would have seen it and like, I
just, I don't know, I don't get enough freakiness.

(21:57):
But like, I'm still dating him and he's really sweet and nice.
And then I go into my head and I'm just like, maybe, you know,
that's enough. Like I'm still having orgasms.
Like I'm still having orgasms. Like maybe I don't need someone
to choke me out and spit in my mouth and like, I should just be
happy that I'm getting orgasms on a big Dick and that he has a
good job and like wants to care for me.

(22:17):
Like is that enough? But that's what you did with
your previous marriage. You're like.
Yeah, no, but he had a small Dick.
OK, Yeah. But you were like, oh, I I'll be
stable with this person. You know, like you still had the
same line of thinking. Yeah.
And you're like, I can I this isenough.
Like I can settle for this. See, this is me being a tourist

(22:39):
because tourists do value like stability.
They value loyalty. They value you know, like this
is my old school brain but wantsthe new school sex life.
Which there's nothing wrong withthat.
You can have both. Yeah, I just, he doesn't even
have a single tattoo. I know.

(23:00):
That's so annoying. When Mr. W and I first started
chit chatting, one of the first questions I asked him was, do
you have any tattoos? And he was like, yeah, I've too.
I was like, OK, good. We can continue then, yeah, but
that's life update. We're not dating.
We are still like going on dates.
It's not exclusive. I deleted Hinge 2 days ago.

(23:24):
You did. Yeah, I was just like having
mindless conversations with men and quite honestly, I was
getting them confused and I didn't remember who I had told
what. And like, I just, I've had such
a hard work week and like, it isa chore.
It is a chore to keep up with like multiple conversations.

(23:45):
And I've just like decided that like I'm going to hang out with
42. I'm sure I'll go to bars and
meet whoever else. But like I don't, I don't have
it in me to keep up with multiple Hinge conversations
right now. So I just got rid of it.
I'll probably download it in like a week and I'll be like
someone validate me for my hot bikini pic.

(24:06):
But people do that on Instagram anyway.
So I'm like, maybe I don't need it.
When? Well, two things.
One, when I was single, that's why I like I deleted hinge after
I think I don't know, like a month.
I was like this shit is for the birds.
I fucking hate everyone on here and I am.
It's atrocious the type of men that like you on hinge.

(24:28):
I'm like, OK, I know I'm not like a fucking 10, but I don't
need twos and threes liking me. I can at least pull A5 or A6.
You can do better than that. But I just like I literally have
on my Hinge profile, like not just here to hook up, like
obviously I'm going to hook up with them, but it's like like

(24:48):
like I literally felt that I'm like, what are you looking for?
And they're like just sex. And I'm like, OK, I'm already
getting just sex. Like that's nothing different
for me. It's like I'm not like sex
deprived. Like I can assure you I'm fine.
So if like that's all you're after, then I'm not even going
to entertain it. Right, like I need you to bring
more to the table, right? So yeah, that's it.
And my other thing I was going to say is, yeah, I saw that

(25:09):
bikini pic and I was like, oh, Vicky's feeling herself today.
Yeah, I'm feeling myself all thetime now.
Oh, and I debted Bringles. I told him.
He gave me the ick. Yeah, because I remember our
last episode, you told him you're like, I need you to hear
more often, and you're not giving me what I need from you.
And he was like, yeah, I'm not like other guys.

(25:32):
Update I went out this weekend with my friend Rachel.
We went to the Dolly Parton musical and afterwards we went
out on the town and he was out and he was like, come meet up
with me and my friends. It is him and six girls.
Yeah. And I think I told you before
that he's like, they're my sisters, my cousins, like,

(25:53):
whatever. No man in his right mind, like,
surrounds himself with, like, six to seven girls that he's
all, like, platonic with. Like, honestly, if he was
fucking them, like, that would have made more sense to me than
him being like, oh, no, we're just friends.
And I was like, all these, like,girls that are five years
younger than you that, like, some of them are your cousins
and, like, related to you. Like, where are your Bros?

(26:15):
Like, why are you not out with your guy friends?
Like, this is so weird. Anyway, he grew his hair out a
little too long, and he had, like, this douchey hair out the
back of his hat and was surrounded by all girls that,
like, he introduced me to. And half of them were mean,
mugging me. And I was like, this isn't going
to work. Yeah, I know.
So, yeah, I sent him some reallymean things.

(26:41):
And then this is what I said. I said I don't like the long
hair and you were drunk and being weird.
He said what long hair? And I was like, and being
surrounded by your girls, isn't it?
I'm not interested anymore. He said perfect.
I was like, yeah, I'll lose my number.
Like actually he said 10, four. I was like, you axed me, Major.
He said perfect again. I like how you just keep coming

(27:01):
back to. And he's like, OK, and you're
like and another thing and. Another thing the next day he
texts me pool day question to mark after I post my bikini pic
and I said yeah but you're not invited.
He said OK. Did he not think you were
serious when you're like I got the major ick.
Also I fucking hate you. Also, I fucking hate your hair

(27:22):
and I hate all your friends. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't think I could be more clear.
Maybe next time. God, men are so fucking stupid.
OK enough of my life update. I can tell you a million things.
Homeboy never texted me back yesterday AKA ex-husband and
never to be heard from again. Shocker.

(27:43):
It's time to lawyer up. Let's see our My Life update
since the last episode you tell.People, you weren't moving in.
Oh, right. So I'm not moving in.
Well, in September, I'm not moving in, but I we've pushed
the timeline back a few months, but we're fine.
Although it's really funny because I went to go visit one
of my friends this past weekend and she was like, yeah, me and

(28:06):
another one of our friends were talking and we were all like, is
Grace OK? Like are her?
And Mr. WI was like, I promise, all of you, we are perfectly
fine. It's just like, you know, it's
Vicki and I catch up. So a lot of times I'm telling
her the more intense stuff that I like haven't texted her or

(28:26):
whatever, although him and I kind of got into it on my way
down on my way down to he like. We're going to get into the
signs. We're going to get into the
signs and see what this is all about.
But it's the same conversation over and over and over again.
And it's him bringing it up and I keep being like, what do you

(28:47):
need from me? I'm trying to make an effort.
I'm going to therapy. I'm working on my shit.
And what did he say to me? He said something like, I just
need you to do more or somethingalong those lines.
I can't really remember because he was like a little drunk from
being out with his friends and Iwas driving.
So I was tired because it was 11/30 at night.

(29:08):
And at one point I just kind of lost it because we just kept
talking in circles and I was like.
I'm drew my egg. I don't know what you mean from
me. Anymore and he was like you
don't have to yell at me I was like I'm gonna kill you that's.
What I'm going to do? But we're fine.

(29:29):
Afterwards, he explained what heneeded and I was like, and then
I explained to him more in depthwhat happened between me and Mr.
Bankrupt. And he kind of realized he was
like, oh, a second. Yes, all of my previous
boyfriends have fucked with my head in significant ways.

(29:52):
That is why I'm not open arms telling you like being
vulnerable with you from the getgo because they've all used my
feelings and emotions against meto manipulate me and to get
their way. Yeah.
And so finally he, I think he finally realized.
Oh, why I am the way that I am. But we're fine.

(30:16):
I promise everybody we're we arehunky Dory.
He actually just texted me and told me he's not going to send
me my birthday present because he wants to give it to me, a
person. I'm like, no, I want my birthday
present now. And that's just me being a brat
because I'm a Leo. Yeah, that's your main character
energy. I went to the doctor last week
also because I've been having migraines at the wazoo and super

(30:36):
fun. I'm getting a brain MRI next
week so hopefully like fingers crossed Grace doesn't have
cancer. I'm not being a massive ass
tumor, a bitch, like in the bestway possible.
Like, you know, those tumors that are like benign and crazy
on Grey's Anatomy. But it's like a fun surgery

(30:56):
story, like one of those. Oh, thanks.
I hope I don't. I like part of me is like, I
hope there is something so I canbe like, this is what's wrong
with me. I've been chronically I'll for
the past few years. Like now I know what's wrong
with me. And then the other part is like,
I don't want to be shaving my head.
I don't want to be doing chemo. Do you think I could?

(31:18):
I really do think, yeah, you do.I really think you could.
Yeah, so that's super fun. Hopefully I don't have cancer.
You got to cut that part. I hope you have a giant fucking
tumor. No, that's.
Fucking. Funny.

(31:38):
But I went to Charleston this past weekend, and we didn't
drink much, but we ate a bunch of, like, D9 gummies, and we
went to dinner Sunday. And at one point I was like, oh,
OK. Like the gummies, like, come,
I'm come. Like, I hit my high.
Like, now I'm going to come down.
No, it just kept peeking and peeking and peeking.

(31:59):
And at one point I was like, am I climbing Mount Everest?
Because I feel like I'm going tofucking keel over.
I was so high. And then we went to the brewery
next door. Obviously.
Great choice. Yeah, and we were like 1 of 10
people in the brewery and we're just like cackling to each
other. But this weekend I'm going to
New York for my birthday. Yay.

(32:21):
And you're meeting Mr. W? No.
Oh, who are you going with? My friend Ariel, she lives in in
New York. Yeah, well.
That's gonna be fun. I'm super excited.
She does marketing for music venues and musicians.
And so I told her I was, I literally want to go out in a

(32:42):
cute dress for my birthday dinner and I want a sunset
rooftop, like DJ set concert. And she was like, OK, done and
done. And she sent me like an
itinerary. And I was like, yeah, I can't
wait. She's like, I'm we'll go to the
beach this day. We'll do something fun this day.
And I'm like, OK, sounds good because I am turning 32 and I
just feel so icky about turning 32.

(33:04):
I. Don't know why I'm excited.
Every year has gotten better forme.
I'm like 31 is already iconic. 30 was like a big game changing
year for me. Like no, I'm excited for 32 and
I'm excited for your 32nd. I got you some.
I got you some thingies for whenyou come to Nashville.
Oh, thanks my. My brother might come.

(33:24):
I invited him today. I was like, oh hey, I'm going to
Nashville. Is he staying with me or Michael
or? No, he's staying with Michael
Boys. Boys room and girls room.
I still don't have a bed for you.
Bitch, get me a bed. I don't want to sleep on the
couch and I don't want to sleep in your sex bed.
I don't have sex. I'm celibate.
When was the last time you had? Sex Saturday night.

(33:47):
Exactly, although this is a longtime for you.
No, this doesn't. It doesn't count because he
couldn't stay hard. So Friday night.
Who couldn't stay hard? Not 4242 always stays hard.
This is someone else. Who?
Just some random guy. OK, good.
Just. Asking a question?

(34:14):
No, he's just a friend. He was.
Your hackles are raised. Anyway, no, he really is just a
friend. Like he was like trying to kiss
me that night. I was like, I kind of like
someone else. Like I don't really like this
will go nowhere. I just want to make sure, you
know, that he's like, I'm probably too drunk to get a
boner anyway. But yeah, he was too drunk.
But I slept in his apartment, so.

(34:36):
Oh, you went over to his place? Yeah, it was across from the
bar. Oh, that's convenient.
It was. You know.
Very convenient, OK. Let's talk about compatibility.
Supposedly Leo's that's me are amazing with Libras, Aries and

(34:56):
Gemini's and I've never dated any of them.
None of those signs. Not a single one.
Libras, Aries and Gemini's. I'm looking at your list.
You have not dated any of those signs.
No, apparently I like Scorpios though.
Yeah, you've 2 Scorpios, a Taurus, a Leo, a Cancer, and an

(35:22):
Aquarius. Which is so interesting because
one of our good friends, she's an Aquarius and we get along
great. Once again, the men versus women
of the signs. I agree.
I agree. Like one of my best friends,
she's a Gemini. Yeah.
Yeah, which is funny because I've never dated a Gemini man.

(35:45):
Yeah, it's, it seems like you would be compatible with my
situation. He's an Aries, my cheater
boyfriend is an Aries, and that's who you're compatible
with. Oh see, I don't know if I would
get along with him after like knowing everything about him.
Right, but like, if you didn't know that about him, apparently

(36:07):
your signs would mesh. Yeah, we'll see.
You're compatible with Virgos and Capricorns.
And I've never dated any of those.
Well, you dated a Capricorn in high school.
What does it count? Does it?
I mean, it was a long relationship.

(36:28):
It was a long relationship, but like, that was like the
relationship that got me known as a home wrecker because I did
not know that he had a fucking girlfriend.
Like when you started? Dating.
Yeah. When I when I met him at Young
Life, did I know that he had a girlfriend?
No. Shocker finding a cheater at at
a church, yeah. But they were they were broken

(36:53):
up, they were on a break. And then it was the debate of he
was like, do I stay with Vicki or do I go with her?
And he took me from friends. He chose me.
He chose me because we're chose me.
Pick me, love me. Oh my God.
But that was a long relationship.

(37:14):
But my longest was a few years. We met sophomore year and dated
through my senior year. Part of my senior year cuz he
went to college. Yes, yes, because I remember
going and spending the night in his dorm room with you.
And do you remember his ugly assroommate trying to hook up with

(37:34):
me? And I told him no.
So he took the blankets from me and I had to sleep freezing on a
twin mattress. Or like I like had to share the
twin mattress with him. So he was at the top side and I
was at the bottom side like curled into myself freezing.
Good times. Good times, good times.

(37:55):
Funny enough, I ended up meetingthat roommate like a year or two
later when I rushed at Radford because he was in a fraternity
and that fraternity he was in, we had a bunch of like they were
like close to my sorority and I was like, oh, I remember him.
He tried to hook up with me and I told him no and then he got
mad at me. Typical.

(38:17):
Typical man. So Vicki is a Taurus, and I'm a
Leo, which we have already established.
So for Vicki, she's the second sign of the Zodiac.
I don't know what that means, but she's ruled by Venus, the
planet of beauty, love and pleasure.
OK, All right. Which heavily influences its
grounded yet indulgent nature. Commonly, Taurus is associated

(38:41):
with being steady, sensual and stubborn.
Vicki, your core strength, excuse me, just had a stroke.
Your core strengths are your reliable and lawyer.
You are reliable and loyal. Unlike my brain say the word

(39:02):
loyal because you're like, is this false?
The cancer in my brain is like, we're not, you can't say that,
reliable and loyal. So you're known for keeping your
word and being a steady present in relationships and
friendships. I would say yes in friendships.
Yeah, I would say that. I mean, I am reliable and I am
loyal. Like I would have gone to the

(39:23):
end of the earth, earth for my husband, regardless of like what
was happening behind the scenes.So I mean, I supported his
business. Like, whatever, I'm not going to
go there. I was loyal in the ways that
mattered. You're patient and persistent,
so you work methodically towardsgoals without rushing, valuing
steady progress over quick ones.I'd say yeah.

(39:43):
Especially like with how career driven you are.
Grounded and practical. Prefer realistic plans over wild
gambles, making them dependable decision makers.
Absolutely 100% you appreciationfor comfort and beauty.
You enjoy life's pleasures, goodfood, art, music and cozy
environments. 100% definitely strong.

(40:06):
Work ethic once committed, they are incredibly determined and
consistent. Absolutely 100% Victoria
adventure. I'm like, I live for my job, I
live for my job. I will work very, very hard.
What are my challenges? So you just told me I'm great,
so. I brought you up, time to break

(40:27):
you back down. So your potential challenges
Stubbornness. So you're a fixed sign, so you
can resist change even when it'sbeneficial.
I don't know about that. Well, I mean like.
I feel like I'm a chameleon and I let people change me.
Like I don't feel like like if Ihad been stubborn and I wouldn't

(40:49):
have been with my ex. Well, you were stubborn about
leaving. Yeah, it's because I was like,
worried about being judged. As a fuck, you're possessive, so
your loyalty can sometimes tip into control or jealousy.
See, this is something that's really hypocritical about me is

(41:11):
like, I get very jealous, which is like crazy to people because
like, I don't know, I'm like, I I think it's weird when they get
jealous of, like, things with me.
Yeah. They're just like, how can you
even say that? Like some guy will be like, oh,
I was talking to a girl and he'slike, you literally just told me
you fucked five guys last week and you're getting mad at me

(41:33):
over messaging this one girl. I'm like, right?
Exactly. Do as I say, not as I.
Do right, right. OK.
Resistance to risk. Caution can make them miss
opportunities that require bold moves.
I don't think you have any resistance to risk.
I think I do. I thought it was risky leaving
my ex now now I yeah, now I don't.

(41:57):
But like at the time. OK, comfort zone dependence.
You can sometimes get too comfortable with routine and
avoid shaking things up. Right, my routine is having
someone in my bed that holds me say get lonely.
Caught so your personality vibe is the dependable.

(42:21):
Think of that you as a dependable anchor, someone who
won't abandoned ship when the waters get rough but who also
loves a bit of indulgence in life.
They're sensual yet practical, romantic yet realistic, and
deeply value stability and love.Work and home life 100% I would
say. That very much a stability
driven person. Mm hmm.

(42:42):
Like the idea of not having a job like stresses the fuck out
of me. There are some days where I'm
like I could do without one. No, no, no, no, no, no.
All right, enough about me. Let's talk about you.
Leo is ruled by the Sun, which makes it the sign most
associated with warmth, vitalityand self-expression.

(43:04):
I see you. Self-expression.
Are you warmth? Maybe not, maybe not.
They're often seen as bold, yes,magnetic, yes, and deeply loyal,
yes, but also proud and sometimes a little dramatic.
You are dramatic. Ever.

(43:27):
You're like, OK, I'm just going to pack up my whole life and
move to California for six months.
It didn't work out. Time to go across the.
Country. Yep, Yep.
All right, your strengths, your confident and charismatic.
So Leo's naturally draw attention without even trying.
People are often inspired by their energy love.

(43:49):
I get that at work a lot. People always tell me that.
Interesting, loyal and protective.
Fiercely devoted to friends, families and partners.
They'll stand up for loved ones no matter what.
I do see that you're such a family person.
And I'm fiercely protective overmy people.
I will I always tell the people in my life I'm like I will

(44:10):
always be a bad guy and someone who's treating you wrong story
because I know you're in the right and I will protect you
till the day I die so. So you.
Fuck with my people and I'm going to fuck you the fuck up.
Let's say it says you're generous and warm hearted.
You love to make others feel special, often going out of your
way to help. And like, honestly, I see that

(44:33):
because of how many like Bachelorette parties you've done
and like you're a very like giftGibby, like person and like very
girly girl in that way with likethoughtful gifts, which is like
surprising to me because I'm notthat way at all.
And I like I love sending my friends flowers.

(44:54):
I just because it's always like just like a cute nice pick me
up. It's not something that you have
to, it's not like a tchotchke you have to put on a shelf
somewhere. It's just like, you know, like,
hey, I'm thinking of you. I send you flowers all the time.
I know it's so sweet. You're ambitious and driven and
you want to be recognized for your work and make an impact in
whatever you do. I think you are not ambitious.

(45:20):
I hate. I mean, I don't want to.
Hate work? You want to be like fucking
social media famous. But that's The thing is I don't
want to be famous. I just want to be wealthy.
If I could be wealthy without the side of famous, then yes.
Do I get a little hit of serotonin when I get have a

(45:41):
video that pops off? Absolutely.
Has it happened to me yet? No.
Well, I mean, like I've had two,but ambitious and driven in the
corporate sphere, It's very hardfor me to be that way.
Yeah, but I fake it till I make it.
You're like, fuck the resistance.
What is it? Fuck the patriarchy.

(46:02):
That's episode, yeah. Exactly.
Creative and expressive. Natural performers and
storytellers who thrive in environments where they can
shine. I do see creative and
expressive. It's funny because most Leo's
are always like, they're like ohthey love attention, they want
attention and yes I do like attention but it's not like when

(46:23):
I walk into a room I don't want all eyes on me.
It's more of the people in my circle.
I want attention from them. Does that make sense?
Yes. Like my people is where I want
my attention from. All right, let's talk about your
challenges. Your pride and stubbornness can
have trouble admitting when they're wrong.

(46:46):
See, I like to think of you as more stubborn than me.
Oh, 100%. But I'm the twist, I'm supposed
to be the bull. I don't know.
I mean, I definitely like, I've gotten better about admitting
when I'm wrong, but the problem is I'm always right.

(47:06):
What is that? What are their shirts that are
like? Sorry for having great tits and
right opinions. Like yes that's.
The shirt I need. It says attention seeking might
feel undervalued if they're not getting enough recognition.
I don't feel like you're an attention seeker.
I feel like I'm an attention seeker.
Yeah, we definitely swap in thatrole, yeah.

(47:28):
Dramatic reactions. You are your mother's daughter.
That's all I would say. Hey, you are Mary Ann to the T
Emotions can run high and they don't always hide.
That is what is. No, every emotion I feel

(47:49):
immediately comes across my face.
I have never gotten any better at it.
And I just like have stopped trying to like hide, mask my
emotions. Like when I am on camera at
work, I literally stare at myself in the corner because I'm
like, all right, don't make a face, don't make a face, don't
make a face. Because I'm like, I need to
control my face so people don't think I'm like, you know, So

(48:15):
usually I'm off camera if I can be, and then I can actually pay
attention because I'm not worried about what faces I'm
making. Interesting.
Now we're we're like an on camera culture company, always
camera on. We're half and half and they're.
Trying to make it more camera. Last one says the need for

(48:36):
control. You prefer to take the lead and
can clash with equally strong personalities.
I see it a little bit. I would say like I have a
control problem, but when there's like situations or when
we're things that need to be planned or if there's a group
when we're trying to make a decision and no decision is
what? The fuck are we doing?

(48:56):
This is what we're doing. Yes, I usually I am the one that
speaks up and I said, OK, we're going to do this and we're going
here. Executive decision.
If you don't like it, you shouldhave like, Oh well, too bad.
Yeah, you took too long. Like, we're making a decision,
we're moving, Let's go, OK? It says think of Leo as the
radiant leader of the Zodiac, someone who lights up a room.

(49:19):
So you're going to fucking die, is what I hear this is.
It's like whenever someone dies,they're just like, She lit up
the room. No, if I ever get murdered and
there is a documentary about me,you have to be that bitch that
comes on there and is like, she probably did get murdered by
this person because they probably tried to hit on her and
she fucking lost. Her shit on them and you're

(49:40):
going to be like, yeah, Vicki got murdered for doing some dumb
shit because she's dying as fuck.
Yeah, she opened her legs once again, decided she wanted to be
a hoe, and here we are. Does she need?
Does that mean she should have been murdered?
No. You light up the room, you
thrive on connection, and you inspire others with passion and
optimism. You're not that optimistic, but

(50:01):
you love deeply. You protect fiercely and aim
high in everything you do. I see it to some point I think I
just I like. I'm having a hard time reading
this because my ex-husband is a Leo and I just don't keep this
like this is what he thinks he is with his fake persona.

(50:23):
I see that 100% it always makes me laugh because he always tried
to tell or say that he was like loyal and stuff but I'm like you
talk shit about every single person that you know behind
their back. Right, like the biggest shit
talker. This aim high and everything
they do reminds me of my sorority because our one of our

(50:44):
mottos was aim high. LITP shout out Phi sig.
The fact that Grace is in a sorority and I wasn't.
The fact that Grace was a cheerleader and I wasn't.
Yeah, I was. You know, I've lived a lot of
lives. Yeah.

(51:05):
All right. So who are you most compatible
with? Supposedly I'm supposed to be
most compatible with Libras, Aries, and Geminis, but I
haven't dated any of those. But I will go through the signs
that I have dated and how like Third Dynamics are.
So one of my ex boyfriends is a Scorpio, my current boyfriend's

(51:25):
a Scorpio. So our dynamic is supposed to be
intense and magnetic, which definitely I feel like when I
started dating both of them, it was like an immediate
attraction, like an immediate like passion, you know?
Do you know what I mean? Pros.
Both are passionate, loyal, and protective in relationships.

(51:46):
There's a strong pool. Leo's charisma meets Scorpio's
mysterious depth. Well, Mr. Bankrupt's mysterious
depth was that he was mysteriously bankrupt and was
lying to me about it. Dad.
But I feel like Mr. W there we're definitely passionate and
loyal with each other and I feelvery protective over him

(52:09):
especially whenever he tells me stuff about his ex-wife like I
am immediately I just want to like go find her because I'm
like how dare you do this to him.
But cons power struggles can be frequent.
Leo seek open admiration while Scorpio perverse emotional
control and privacy which is definitely.

(52:30):
I struggled with this with Mr. Bankrupt because he loved like
secrecy and privacy and he lovedemotional control.
I feel sorry for his ex-wife because he turned her into a
fucking. Crazy person?
Yeah, I don't think she's that crazy.
Now. The longer I've known him, I'm
like, I don't see it. I was talking to someone about
this the other day. I was like, you know what?

(52:52):
I too would have thrown all of his clothes out the windows and
lit them on fire if I had to deal with his ass.
For eight years, I dealt with itevery year and a half.
I would have done the same thing.
Yeah. So.
And he always tried to, like, have emotional control over me,
and that never worked. That's why I'm like, my
conspiracy theory is that he secretly hated me.

(53:13):
And for him, it was just like a game of trying to, like, control
me. But anyways, overall, high
chemistry, but requires mutual respect and compromise over
control, which Mr. W and I definitely mutual respect.
And we definitely compromise over control, but me and Mr.
Bankrupt did not. So OK.

(53:33):
Yeah, I dated a cancer. My cancer ex-boyfriend.
He literally was a cancer. Cancer in your life?
Mine too. Yeah, he cheated on me a brick
ton, so that was fun. So the dynamic is protective and
nurturing versus bold and expressive.
I definitely would say we were not protective and nurturing,
but we were definitely bold and expressive.

(53:55):
Cancers can soften Leo's more fiery edges, while Leo's
confidence can draw Cancer out of their shell.
Cons Leo's need for social spotlight can make Cancer feel
neglected, and Cancer's moodiness can puzzle Leo.
Which is funny because I feel like that was the opposite of
our relationship. I felt like need for the social
spotlight and all of these otherthings it made me feel.

(54:17):
Neglected and so. Then I was, but you know,
fabulous and overall works best when Leo's appreciate cancer's
emotional depth and cancer respects Leo's knee to shine.
But she never respected me. But I did give him room to feel

(54:39):
his emotional depth with me He was as a child and he told me
that and he didn't tell me untillike towards the end of our
relationship. And I was like homie you need to
go to therapy for that. But anyways, I dated a Taurus a
few years ago. I'm a Taurus, this is about us.
OK, so fixed fire meets fixed earth.

(55:02):
Pros both value loyalty, luxury,and commitment.
Definitely Taurus admires Leo's flair and Leo appreciates
Taurus's stability. Except my Taurus was not stable.
Cons Stubbornness is a major challenge.
Neither like to budget 100%. Him and I, we would not budget
on anything. Taurus may find Leo's

(55:24):
extravagance impractical, while Leo may find Taurus too slow
moving. So this is my ex too.
So you dated a Taurus and you'rea Leo and I'm a Taurus and I
dated a Leo and these two workedtogether and we were dating them
at the same time. Same time it was.
It was a time to be had, let me tell you, but overall strong

(55:49):
potential for a lasting bond if they can compromise on pace and
spending habits. Spending habits.
I'm losing money, yeah. Maybe, you know, microwave and
Gatorade astrology. All of that does have some
points. I don't know I'm I'm trying to

(56:11):
decide if I can get behind this or not.
Because like, sometimes it's like, Oh my God, yeah, that's to
AT. And then other times I'm like,
no, right, right. And last but not least, Leo and
Aquarius. So opposite sides of the Zodiac
wheel. Leo brings warmth and passion,
while Aquarius brings innovationand independence.

(56:32):
Mutual fascination keeps things interesting.
I will say we never could let each other go during our weird
thing. Aquarius's detached style can
frustrate Leo's need for affection 100% and Leo's
intensity can feel overwhelming to an Aquarius.
It can be a power couple if theyrespect their differences.

(56:54):
Leo's heart means Aquarius's mind.
Well, we never were a power couple, so he just used and
abused me. I love that, good for you.
OK. Oh, it's my turn.
We already talked about Taurusesand Leo's.
This is my ex-husband. He was a Leo, I was a Taurus.
It didn't work out. It is what it is Taurus and

(57:17):
Aries. So my cheater boyfriend is an
Aries my situation ship. It says our dynamic is the study
earth versus impulsive fire. He's a ginger.
I mean, I guess that's kind of a.
OK, bride of Chucky. I mean, I am steady.
I I wouldn't consider him impulsive.

(57:38):
I kind of felt like he was also steady, which kind of attracted
me to him because I felt like myLeo ex-husband was not steady.
Pros. It says Aries bring spontaneity
while Taurus provide stability and they can balance each other
well. I don't know continuous.
When you guys saw each other? This wasn't even a real

(58:02):
relationship, it doesn't count. So it's cons Aries might see
Taurus is too slow moving. Everyone says we're fucking
slow. I'm not a fucking turtle, not a
tortoise. It is a Taurus and it says while
Taurus may view Aries as reckless or impatient, no I feel
that as my ex-husband. I didn't think of him as I.
It's OK. I'm going to put my situation

(58:23):
ship on a golden pedestal and hecan do no wrong, so I'm not
going to agree with any of this.Overall passionate at first but
requires mutual adaptation to last.
I will say we were very passionate.
We neither of us could adapt. I wasn't saying in Virginia he
is not moving to Tennessee. It is what it is.

(58:45):
Taurus and Scorpio. So 42 year old is a Scorpio.
Says we're the opposite signs onthe Zodiac wheel.
Deep loyalty, intense attraction, and shared
possessiveness creates a strong bond.
Power struggles can emerge. They do both this like

(59:05):
compromise. Emotional intensity can be
overwhelming. I don't know him well enough to
see if that's even a thing overall.
No overall magnetic and transformative connection when
trust is solid. I don't know him enough to say
any of this is true. I've no idea.
Hasn't been magnetic. I mean, the Dick is magnetic.
I'm magnetized by his Dick. And the trust is the trust is

(59:32):
there when it's solid. It is because I'm stable.
It's it's the curved in the right way not because it's been
broken. I just could not imagine having
to explain to a girl oh the reason why my Dick do like this
is because a girl sat on it and broke it.

(59:57):
Yeah, OK, Taurus and Cancer. Mr. Spreadsheet was a Cancer, it
says. Earth and Water and Harmony.
The only thing I ever hear aboutCancers is how emotional they
are. And when he had his emotional
saga, yeah, I was like, yeah, that that explains it.

(01:00:21):
Yeah, it says both value security, home life and
emotional loyalty. I will say we had a lot of like
the same future values, which iswhy I felt like we moved quickly
because we did have a lot of thesame mutual goals.
So I do agree with that. So this is also my college
ex-boyfriend. He's also a cancer.
So I've dated 2 cancers and bothof them brought these things to

(01:00:45):
me and both of them are VirginiaTech frat boys.
Cons can become two insular. What does that mean?
What does that mean? Or resistant to change?
Taurus's practicality may occasionally clash with Cancer's
mood swings. The mood swings are real.
The mood swings are real, it says.

(01:01:07):
One of the most naturally compatible matches.
Stable, affectionate and endearing.
Insular means ignorant of or uninterested in culture's ideas
or people's outside of 1's own experience.
I feel like college boyfriend was like that for sure.
Feel like you also said the N word.

(01:01:30):
Just I just can't. I can't either Taurus and
Capricorn, but this is my high school boyfriend.
Earth. Young Life.
Young Life. Both are practical, ambitious
and committed. Shared values make for an easy
understanding. I can assure you in high school
we are not talking about our values.

(01:01:53):
All you guys are talking about where where are you guys going
to have sex and where you can get drunk.
Yeah, we did as parents. Hot tub.
We did go to Catholic Church together.
May lack spontaneity or emotional expressiveness if both
focus too much on work or routines.
We were in high school, this doesn't mean shit to me.

(01:02:20):
Exactly. You lack spontaneity because you
were focusing too much on your routine.
It only matters and serious posthigh school college
relationships is what I feel. I talked about my high school
one. Oh my God, I forgot about.
I don't. Know she got a whole boyfriend

(01:02:42):
but she was with for over like ayear.
I was with him for like 2 years and I called him Oh my God
oopsie my bad sorry. I think he was also an Aquarius.
Yikes. Oh no, he was a.
Capricorn, not one of your signs?

(01:03:06):
Oh, no, wait, I think I'm supposed to be compatible with
Capricorns, aren't I? No.
I thought it said Aries. Oh yeah, you're compatible,
Capricorns. I'm.
Compatible with Capricorns? I'm supposed to be in love with
my high selects boyfriend is what this is telling me.
Oh my God it's OK, I completely forgot about my high school
boyfriend that I spent two yearswith.

(01:03:26):
Sorry. I hope you're doing well.
Meanwhile I'm texting Mr. Bartender gone rehab man.
What is he? When is your birthday?

(01:03:49):
Time of birth and place. Also, I'm just kidding.
He's gonna be mad at me that I forgot.
Oh, September 7th. This is a new sign.
Wait, is that a Virgo? Yes, horses are supposed to be
with Virgos and Capricorns. I'm not going to be with him.
He has bad style. I just, I won't say anything.

(01:04:17):
I'll let my face say it. That's not good.
So I told him 42 year old that we aren't compatible.
So he was like, I was like, oh, we're doing a Zodiac signs
episode. We're doing a Zodiac sign
episode. And he was like, oh really?
What is a Scorpio? And I said, it says we aren't
compatible, babe. He's like, what are you?

(01:04:39):
It's like he doesn't believe that we're not compatible
because I'm gaslighting the fuckout of him.
All right, So I don't feel like I learned anything about Zodiac
signs. I don't feel like I know who I'm
compatible with. I believe I'm compatible with
tequila. Yeah, that's valid.
And naps, because that's my sun moon rising because.

(01:05:00):
With the rising tequila. A sun, sun, moon rising.
That's like you wake up, you take a tequila shot.
You are rising when you're at the pregame, so you take a
tequila shot and then your moon.You take a tequila shot and go
to bed. I'm a triple T, I'm a triple

(01:05:21):
tequila. TTT God I.
Need you what? My cramps hurt, I want to get
fucked, but I don't like any of these men.
So we made really cute stickers.So everyone, if you pay for

(01:05:41):
shipping, I'll send them to you.AKA just send me a stamp.
Send you a stamp. No.
So we got stickers. We're going to, I'm going to
post them up all around Nashville, especially in like
the bathrooms where the drunk girlies are going to scam
things. You guys are going to love it.
I'm I'm littering them, OK, I'm not going to litter them, but

(01:06:02):
I'm sticking them everywhere, all over New York when I go.
Yeah, no, I'm going to take thema lot different places.
I think me and 42 year old are going to go out of town for
Labor Day. Oh, are you going to go?
I have dog coverage. I was like, we should go back to
the dawn together because I was being sweet.
But if he doesn't, you know, take enough initiative to make

(01:06:24):
plans. I'm just going to go by myself
because I'm a I'm a queen that can pay for her own shit.
As you should. Thanks for coming to another
episode of Your Secret Safe witha.
We hope you enjoyed today's chaotic talking about Zodiac
signs. We really never reached a
conclusion on who we are actually compatible with because
it's all over the place. So do you really believe in it

(01:06:46):
or not? I.
Don't know. We're going to have to put an
Instagram poll and like honestly, I just, I think
Mercury is in retrograde tonight.
So I just don't believe in anything.
My Gatorade is in my microwave, so it's not in the cards.
It's not in the stars for me. All right, I'm going to bed.

(01:07:08):
I'm going to eat chicken Nuggetsand go to sleep.
Farewell, Ellie. OK, I'm going to go stuff my
face with Chipotle. Ellie, Ellie 14 Peace.
Fuck you, peace, fuck you. OK anyways, Ellie, everyone.
Bye. Cancel us please.

(01:07:34):
Wait, what is that High School Musical song?
It's that movie that. Once again, your descriptions of
things. It is that.
Movie with that girl. That has Zac Efron in it, and
it's about the most. It's about this musician.
I'm not a musician magician. Oh, oh, the greatest showman.

(01:07:57):
Yes. Thank you.
OK, so Zendaya and Zac Efron sing a song that's like
something about the stars. It's.
We're talking about Zodiac signs.
Hold. On Let me find it, rewrite the
stars. That's it.
Yes, OK. And they're like and we.
Rewrite. The star.
Yeah. OK.

(01:08:19):
Yeah, OK.