Ep 18: Clown Behavior — Why Men Don’t Shoot Their Shot (and Should They?)

It’s spooky season, and Grace and Vikki showed up in full clown glam (aka dressed as their exes) to tackle a haunting modern mystery: why don’t men approach women in bars anymore? 🤡

This week, they unpack listener submissions, debate whether women actually want to be approached and share some of the best (and worst) bar pickup attempts ever witnessed. From fear of rejection to ego death, it’s a chaotic mix of hot takes, laughter, and unsolicited dating advice.

Moral of the story? If you see us at the bar in clown makeup, say hi — we don’t bite (unless you’re a red flag).
⭐ Rate us 5 stars or we’ll haunt your Hinge.

Episode Transcript

(00:05):
Thank you so much. How can I?
I swear to God if this doesn't come off my face before work
tomorrow. All right, happy episode 18.

(00:30):
Today Grace and I decided to getinto the spooky season and dress
up like our exes. I hate you so much for this.
I love this so much. I'm questioning all my life
choices right now. So I've decided that I'm so
unstable today that instead of drinking alcohol, I'm going to

(00:53):
drink a Diet Coke during the filming of this episode, since
clearly if I have enough willpower to do my face like
this for the public on a school night at that, I do not need to
be drinking alcohol. Stop.

(01:14):
Scary. Vicky's going to have
nightmares. Me.
Tonight also, if you're like, doyou still have a boyfriend in
this moment? Because like, I'm by myself.
The only thing that's about to be really fucking scary is when
I have to take my dogs OUT. I'm not going to say the word
because they're going to lose their shit.
And I'm like walking around the apartment complex looking.

(01:36):
Like keep your makeup on, please.
And he wasn't scared by it. I he was like, wait, can I have
the same makeup? And I was like, yeah, sure.
I literally drew his makeup too.I'll show you our our family
photo today. Cute.
Well, I was doing my makeup. Stop it.
And they put on masks. Well, we're all clowns here.

(02:04):
Welcome to episode 18. Welcome back to your secret.
Save of the day we are on episode 18 and today we are
feeling. Spooky.
Spooky. I was trying to come up with a
clown pun but I couldn't. Yeah, a clown pun.
I can't take myself seriously. I know.

(02:24):
Every time I'm drunk. Every every time I look so.
Go ahead. Every time I look at us or me,
I'm like, I mean, you know. Sometimes we're blinded by by
our exes now when we look at them, we react like like the way

(02:47):
that we look right now. This is what I see when I think.
About them, Yeah, yeah, I said Iwasn't going to drink because I
decided if I had the energy to do my makeup like this, that
clearly I'm already unstable enough that I don't need
alcohol. But yeah, I need alcohol.
Yeah, I was like, I need a fat glass of wine.

(03:09):
It's so funny because every timewe laugh it's just like 118.
All right, cheers. Episode 18 Clowns.
Cheers. Cheers.
To all the clowns and to all theclown behavior of men.
So like we do want to talk or. Do you want me to talk?

(03:35):
Well, Vicki, who did you go see in concert?
Last night, the Jonas Brothers. So no, I'm I'm so glad you
brought this up because I had a mental note in my brain that I
forgot about until you brought this up that I was going to talk
about how I'm so fucking vain. So I was like watching the show

(03:56):
and I was like, OK, they're so hot, whatever.
And here's me. Obviously there's no chance of
me ever marrying a Jonas Brother.
Let me be very clear, 2 are already married, one has kids.
I'm like, you know, if I ever did marry a Jonas Brother, let
me check their height. So in the middle of the concert,
I'm looking up each of their heights like a fucking stuck up

(04:17):
ass bitch that I am. And my new one tommled up is
Kevin and he's married. That was not cute.
He's not cute. 7 is too cute. I love all of them equally.
I mean, I love Joe the most and.So no, Nick was the one.
When I was younger, I thought Nick was the hottest.
And then I looked him up yesterday and he's 57, which

(04:37):
means he's an inch shorter than me.
So that's the palm behavior right there.
I know I like I see there's traps of them all the time,
which I posted one of Joe yesterday unabashedly because I
saw the general brothers on Sunday and I was like 10 feet
away from them and it was the most amazing two hours of my

(04:59):
life. But I.
So Grace went with her boyfriend.
I went with a friend of mine butI was watching girls who brought
their boyfriends and or husbandsat the concert.
Like this is 100% like a girls girls concert.
Like it's all girlies. Like if a husband or boyfriend
was forced to come along. Like most of them that I

(05:20):
observed were just like sitting in their seat with their arms
crossed while their girlfriends just like swooned over the Jonas
Brother that. Was literally me because he
didn't know any of their songs, but he knew because we had All
American Rejects open for us, which I think is the same for
you. Right.
Yeah, we had them, yeah. So he knew some of their songs
and then he knew our guest was Yellow Card.

(05:41):
So he knew at Ocean Ave. by them, but he didn't know any of
the Jonas for their song. I've been listening to them
since I was like 13 years old. So I am screaming my heart out
for two hours. Like I'm like laying all over
him when it's like a sensual song.
And I'm like, are you having thebest time?
And he's like, yeah. Yeah.

(06:01):
But he said he was like, I will admit he's like, they are like
really good. Like their vocalist was like,
they were great, they sounded great, the show was great.
It was very wholesome. Cried.
You can cut out her name. I don't have a fake name for
her, but she cried during the concert and I had to give her
like a nice big hug. But no, I actually knew a lot

(06:24):
more songs than I realized. And I think it's because you and
I have been best friends since we were 13.
And I'm, I'm looking back now atall the times that we were in
the car together and you were blasting the Jonas Brothers,
especially like what, What a mangot to do.
And I was just like, I fucking hate this song.
It's so annoying. And then last night, I'm like,
what? A man got like a fucking cloud.

(06:48):
It's an amazing concert if you and a fun fact.
I'm going to see them again in like 3 weeks.
So Grace is obsessed. I went to my first Jonas
Brothers concert. It was actually pretty good.
They're all too short for me. I know I've seen so many people
comment on their thirst traps and they're like God knew if

(07:08):
they gave them like tall jeans or like if they were tall that
they would be unstoppable. And I was like, you're damn
straight, you're so right. Like Joe would be even cockier
if he was 6 foot but he's like 5-8 I think.
No, he's 510. I looked it up.
Oh, OK. Silty China.
No, he came out and was like, let me guess, the one in all

(07:30):
black is the one your favorite? And I was like, maybe.
And so anytime I'm like trying to take a video of him, he's
like next to me pushing my phoneaway.
He's like, stop that. I'm right here.
Like like fucking around. He's like, I don't like him.
I like the other two. And I was like, because I think
he's hot. He was like, maybe.
So today's theme. Clown behavior.

(07:55):
Clown behavior. So for episode 18 we are talking
about men and why men are such clowns that they don't approach
women in the bar anymore. No one shoots their shot.
The only men who actually shoot their shot look like this.
True. True.

(08:16):
The ones who have the audacity. Audacity.
In 5-7. And poor according to our
friends. Also, I think it's so fucking
funny that you're obsessed with the Jonas Brothers because
you're also dating a short king and he is a short king, but
you're a short queen so you can date the shorties.
I am 58. Everyone stay out of my tall.

(08:37):
Pool true. I'm 54 and Mr. W is 5-10.
That sounds right. So same height as Joe Jonas.
Yeah. So Speaking of men not hitting
on women in bars, do you think we could walk into a bar dressed
like this? Like Pennywise a fucking clown?
Do you think we would still get hit on?

(08:58):
So I dressed up like Pennywise once for Halloween with my ex.
It was like a last minute impromptu Halloween costume.
I had a white leotard because that's a totally normal thing
for a person to have, just like a white like bodysuit.
And I went to, I went to the craft store and I got like red
cotton balls and like stuck it on the bodysuit.

(09:18):
And then I did the Pennywise makeup and like pigtails.
And he wore a yellow rain jacketthat he already owned.
And we went and picked up a red balloon.
And I was getting picked up by so many guys.
And he literally tied the balloon to my wrist and was
like, I'm keeping this on you because I think you're going to
go home with somebody else. And I looked like Pennywise.

(09:39):
I was Pennywise. Well, I mean, then there's hope,
I guess. I don't know.
I believe, you know, having you heard those things where it's
like guys are more likely to approach girls when they're not
all dolled up. Like they like it when girls are
out at the bar and like casual attire.
It's the sweatpant theory, Like you always have the best nights
when you go out and you're just like, I don't really care what I
look like and you're like in sweatpants or whatever.

(10:01):
Yep. I've had many men like when I go
to Centennial because obviously I just like roll out of my bed
and like go over there and they're like, you know, I just
love your confidence that you come out here in your shorts and
your sweatshirt and your messy hair.
You're like not even trying. I'm like, I'm just going to
drink my ranch water. Give me a rumble.
Not the rumble. I also think that it has to do

(10:24):
with, like, their own insecuritybecause when women are like,
dolled up and like, pretty, I feel they are more intimidated
by that because they're like, oh, that woman knows that she's
fucking hot and yeah, there's more of a chance of rejection on
their end. Yeah, and I can speak to this
because maybe it was, gosh, 3 or4 weeks ago now.

(10:44):
I went out with the girls and wewent on.
Every time I look at us, I just can't take a fucking shot and
shut up. I'm trying to tell a story.
Can you? Finish your story.
So I went out to the bar with the girls and I wore it was that
really cute green MIDI. I'm mini dress the one for
modern soul with like it was like a very like silky tight

(11:09):
fitting mini dress. I did my hair, I did my makeup.
I have on these tall boots like I looked hot and anyway I saw
this guy and I kept making eye contact with him.
So guys, even when you think youmake the first move and he come
up to talk to us, just know we were eye fucking you first and
that's the whole reason you feltlike you could approach.
So I've been looking at this guylooking at this guy and they're

(11:30):
about to leave him and his friend and then I've talked to
this guy. So his friend tells me later
that like he told this is the tally man.
He, his friend was like, yo, Cali man, that girl keeps
looking at you, you need to go upstairs.
And anyway, I saw him looking atme.

(11:52):
I'm looking at him. I'm like, hi.
And we just sort of like talking.
But I, I was giving him so much shit that night because I'm
like, you were obviously lookingat me all night.
I was looking at you. It was very clear.
But had I not said something to you, you would not have
approached me. And he was like, I know.
And I was like, why? Why?

(12:13):
You're hot. You're hot.
Clearly you could feel my energy.
I was vibing. You were vibing.
So what's the deal? What do you say on behavior?
Oh, I mean, we went home together and we hung out.
We've. We've hung out about.
Four times since So life update I guess for for the rest of the
clowns. Not you A listers.

(12:36):
Not you A Listers, just the clowns I'm kind of seeing.
I would call it three to five men consistently.
Go on. They're just they're all so
different. But I'm low key proud of myself.
I'm only dating a couple people and it's not one night standards

(12:57):
like it's repeats of the same people.
I thought you were going to say and they're all dumb and I was
about to be like hell yeah, but you said they're all different.
Like if I could mesh them all together and make them one
person. So I'm like, I need to make a
list of who they are so I can try to describe them to you and
what they meet and what they don't meet.
But the first one is Cali man. So Cali man is The Who wouldn't

(13:19):
approach me at the bar, but I approached him.
Great personality, we get along great, sex is good.
He's a little short, still taller than me, little short,
hot bod, hot face, good job. So that's the first one, but we
live and we, you know, hang out regularly, whatever.
The other one is a recycle from last year that I've seen on and

(13:39):
off that this girl who I'm no longer friends with and she was
a bitch and she was like he's too boring for you blah blah
blah. Anyway, my theory is that this
girl just never wanted to see mehappy and and if she was single,
she wanted me single. If she's taken, she wants me
taken. Doesn't matter who the guy is,
wasn't about me anyway, gave himanother shot.
Sex is great, very sweet. He's a little shy and a little

(14:03):
dorky. So we went to Atlanta together
this weekend for the Georgia Tech Virginia Tech game.
And so we met up with our friendElena, who you guys all know
from episode 10. And, you know, we're having fun.
We're dancing at this place, which like, he's kind of a
nervous person. And I like, I can tell, like
even having him out in that situation with me was outside of

(14:25):
his comfort zone. But he kept being like, I'm so
drunk, I'm so drunk. And I he kind of like seemed
like he was stumbling on me. I was like, OK, we got to go.
Like this is annoying. So I was kind of giving him the
cold shoulder in the Uber back to the hotel and and like we get
into the bedroom. I'm like, I'm tired.
I'm going to bed late night. And he's I can tell that he's

(14:46):
anxious attachment. I can tell that.
He's anxious. Attachment because I was like, I
was kind of being a not a bitch,but I was just like, I'm over
it. I'm annoyed.
Like I wanted to keep dancing and hanging out with my friends.
You were too drunk. I had to go home and it was
giving me PTSD to my ex-husband.So you remember when my ex used
to get so sloppy drunk that his hair would fall in his face and
he would like slur really bad, which this guy wasn't doing

(15:11):
that, but he kept kind of rocking into me anyway.
So he wants to clear the air that night.
So we talked about it and I was like, you just seemed really
drunk. And this is like so endearing,
but Loki so embarrassing. He was like, I was just trying
to dance. And I guess him dancing with
him, like it kind of felt like he would have stopped because he

(15:34):
doesn't have, you might have to cut this out because I was like,
I felt so bad because I was grilling him for being drunk and
he was like, I was just trying to dance with you and hang out
with your friends. Like you wanted me to like, what
have I done wrong? And he got a little emotional.
Granted, we were like drinking. And I was like, can you just

(15:57):
like have sex and not speak of this ever again?
And not. So that happened.
That's the number 2 item 3 also has a podcast.
Sports guy. We get along great.
What 1000% date him. He has good penis, whatever, all
the things. He travels a lot.

(16:18):
He travels a lot. And he's also not looking for a
girlfriend. Like I can tell he's very much
in his like I'm focused on my business, my stuff, whatever
era. But yeah, we hung out last night
after the concert. So there's that one.
And then there's this guy I met at Centennial.
He is not my type at all. Ex military, older, older, cute

(16:40):
dogs. Go home with him every now and
then. Great sex.
That's it. Wouldn't date him, wouldn't date
him. Loser ass apartment.
Loser ass apartment. And then who's the fifth one?
Oh, he's not really a fifth one yet.

(17:06):
This. We're keeping that in so he
knows who he was forgotten about.
No, he was the 1:00 today that Iposted the screenshot on our
story. That was like, you haven't
scared me off yet and I'm like, you're the one.
Oh yeah episode. And anyway, we had a really fun
night together and we discoveredwe are both twins.
Our birthdays are like 5 days apart.

(17:29):
Yeah, and anyway, this was when me, Rescue Girl and Sarah went
to the night we met and it was like the NOTD concert or
whatever. But I met this guy and I went
home with him and it was a totalvibe.
And all the friends were like, you guys were so in love.
Like this was the guy that Sarahwas like, you're so into him.
And I was like, did it seem thatway?

(17:50):
Oh yes, I you're like. Oh, I just did that with
everyone. That's me flirting.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess I gave the perception
that I was in love. He's been, you know, messaging
me a lot and wants to hang out, and I'll probably hang out with
him again. Like the sex is fine.
So that's my life update. I'm seeing a couple guys
consistently. I would say there's like a top
three. None of them are all the way

(18:11):
there for me, but I'm still off dating apps.
So I've been off dating apps fora while now and I swear to you
ever since I deleted my dating apps, it's like every single guy
that I've met since I moved to Nashville has been like sliding
into my D Ms. I don't know if I'm just posting too many fire
like insta stories or what the deal is, but like I'm getting

(18:32):
texts from all of these guys. Like even guys that like I would
have considered like we mutuallyghosted each other like over a
year ago just out of the blue, out of the blue.
It's like a couple a week and I'm just like, what is
happening? It's like as soon as I delete my
dating apps, it's like all thesepeople are coming back into my
world and I don't want any of them.
I don't. Know when I can't even remember

(18:53):
guy #5 I don't want Guy on the dating app.
Yeah, I just, I'm waiting for someone to get me excited and I
don't like like, like I just want like just like I just want
like crazy intense, like sexual chemistry passion, like, Oh my

(19:14):
gosh, like instant attraction. But I just I don't know that
that exists anymore in this day and age of dating.
I don't know what else to say about that.
It's it's weird dating now because when I think about my
ex-husband, it was all again fast, furious, like very intense
from the start, quick feelings, quick dating, quick moving in

(19:36):
together. Which in hindsight, I guess
that's a little manic, so maybe I should enjoy the.
You should enjoy the the slow ride the slow.
Dating and I'm like, you know, none of these guys are like
putting super pressure on me to be exclusive right now or, you
know, going out when we can. We're all busy, we all have
jobs, have our lives, and I see them when I can and that's it.

(19:58):
And maybe, you know, the more consistently I hang out with one
of them, maybe, maybe I'll feel love.
And I won't forget about him. You're.
Going to have to cut that. My God, wait, so that's why guy
#2 Atlanta man, That's why he cried because he was like, I was

(20:18):
just trying to dance but he justhad 0.
Rhythm. Yeah.
And he was just like, I'm putting myself out there for you
because, like, I'm an outgoing person.
Yeah, and he's just, he's not. And he's a little shy and a
little sweet, which, you know, does like endear me a little
bit. Like afterwards I felt really
mean just because I know he's trying.
I know that's like outside of his comfort zone to begin with.

(20:42):
Stopping a bitch. Yeah, so I felt really bad, but
I'm also kind of like, don't be a loser.
Do better, Do better. Don't be a loser and do better.
You'll get there. Yeah, I'm just, I'm just dating.

(21:03):
So tomorrow night for the plot. So we're starting a new series
for the plot. I'm just going to start trying
things that you guys want me to do, like go on random dates or
maybe you want me to try a pick up line or on someone like just
tell me what you want me to do. I'm going to fucking do it for
the plot. But tomorrow night I signed up
for Thursday night dating, whichThursday is.

(21:23):
They like host events every Thursday for singles.
They do it in all major cities. They have them all over the
world in different major cities.So I'm going to my first singles
dating event tomorrow night at 7:00 PM so stay tuned.
I'm so excited for this. I thought it was like 2 weeks
ago and I was like Oh my God, you didn't even tell me about

(21:44):
it. You no.
It's tomorrow, it's tomorrow. Like it's not even happened.
Yeah. I was like, oh.
I'm not even gonna be able to get this clown makeup off my
face and I'm gonna have to fuck go there looking like this.
And this guy I used to talk to bartender man, we haven't seen
each other but we are still talking regularly.
And he's like a good friend of mine.
He I told him about it and he was like, I've always wondered
what those are like. Like is it just going to be like

(22:05):
a bunch of fucking losers there?Like are there actually going to
be like hot people there, peoplethat can talk there?
And I was like, I don't know, I'm going to throw myself out
there by myself. So y'all stay tuned.
So that's my life update, still single.
If any of these guys asked me tostart like dating them
exclusively I'll probably vomit and have to ghost them.
So tis the season. Tis the season.

(22:28):
I'm not ready. Commitment.
Don't know her? Nope, not ready.
So sorry. I keep thinking I'm ready and
then I'm like Nope, I'm not. I'm not ready, please don't ask
me. Don't force it if you're not
ready. No, and I'm not and I just, I
worry if I do that, it's going to give me anxiety or I'm going
to feel pressure. It's like I want to wait until I
feel like I'm ready for it and like I can only commit to that

(22:49):
person. So, but as you should like as I
continue to date them more consistently that I'm like for
the moment because I'm like, I was just like, I hope when the
moment is right that I'm ready and one of them is like, it's
just, it's gonna feel right, butI'm just.
For like the exclusive talk? Or like, yeah, like exclusive or

(23:12):
being a boyfriend, girlfriend, even exclusive right now if
someone, if one of them was like, I don't want you fucking
other people. Bye you'd.
Be like ghost. Listen here, you clown.
Anyway, I talked so much, I'm over myself.
What's what's your life update? And then let's talk about this
content because we got some goodcontent.

(23:33):
OK, my life update since we havelast talked I'm currently in Mr.
W state because I'm you know, living here for the month and
it's fucking freezing. And today we went to a pumpkin
patch and I have right on. So my hands were like ghost
white and it was it was fun but also at the same time was
terrible. And I got a really cute pumpkin

(23:54):
but I digress. My mom texted me today because
he drinks a lot of soda. This is here's a Marianne moment
for you guys. We haven't had one in a really
long time. So she texted me and she goes,
how's Mr. W doing with his soda consumption since you've been
there? I said oh it's about the same.
She said darn he will live longer, live more healthier and
have better sex if he stops. And I said mom, she goes I'll I

(24:17):
could explain more but I won't. I guess you just got to wonder
if he likes sex. She's like Mr. Debbie needs to
stop drinking that room temperature Diet Mountain Dew.
And that was the first thing sheever said to him.
When she met him, he was like, oh, yeah, I drink Mountain Dew.
And she's like, you know, it depletes your sperm count,

(24:38):
doesn't help your Dick. I was like.
Mom, I was like. I'm going to throw myself out
this window. Other than that, work has been
held. It's been so busy.
I really don't have that big of a life update.
I've been really boring. I mean, besides going to see the
Jonas Brothers, like front row and living the best two hours of
my life. I really haven't, you know, done

(25:00):
much. I've been really super boring.
Oh. That's the way I feel too.
Yeah, but fun fact, when this episode comes out, Vicki and I
will be together. It's not to get real spooky.
And we're going to a football game together.

(25:21):
And the last time we went to a, a Titans game together, we had
to get Ivs like like into our arms Ivs before we went to the
game because we were so fucking hungover.
And my brothers were making fun of us for and I was like,
listen, you don't understand howhard we drank last time.
Yeah, so we have a full jam packed weekend.
So Grace is flying in on Friday to Nashville.

(25:43):
So is Friday the 18th? Yeah, the 17th.
Whatever, same thing. Yeah, so she gets in Friday,
October 17th, and we are ditching Mr. W So I'm meeting
Mr. W for the first time ever inperson.
I've met him very briefly on FaceTime, but I've never met him
in person and they're going to be staying in my apartment, so

(26:04):
things are about to get wild. Yeah, now you get to hear me
having sex. I'm going to make him go fuck me
on the kitchen counter. Honestly it's a great counter.
It's a really Big Island. I highly recommend.
There's plenty of space, but you.
Cannot say anything to him abouthim being a short king though.

(26:26):
I will punch you in the face because I know you and the
moment you wear heels, you're going to walk up to him and be
like. OK, I'm not going to do that.
OK, so I've, I've decided I've made too many men upset telling
them that their Dick isn't big enough for me.
And like, I want to be very clear that like, just because

(26:49):
it's not big enough for me doesn't mean that it's not great
for somebody else. I'm not saying you guys have
micro penises. I want to be very, very clear
about that. It's not a micropenis situation.
It's just not a Jumbotron. It's not a billboard.
It's not a billboard and some girlies like that, I don't know.
So but I was thinking to myself,I was like, I really need to

(27:10):
stop body shaming men because it's nothing wrong with their
Dick. Like their Dick is great.
Like I know girls that they're like, oh, I don't want that
massive thing like get that thing away from me because they
say it hurts. So like your Dick is normal.
And I don't many girls that are like Nope, I don't even want it
that thick that whatever. And I'm just like, yeah, it
couldn't be me, but I feel really bad for like body shaving

(27:30):
men. I don't do it more.
I'm trying to be a nice person. Oh my God, I think I've sent it
to you before but it's that memewhere it's like me trying to be
a nice person and then it's my friend sending me a text.
Why are her eyes so far apart? And I was like, how many times

(27:50):
have I've been like we need to be better people. 10 minutes
later go this bitch. No, anyway, or we're going to
dinner with a friend for her birthday on Friday night and
then we're probably going to be at La Jackson, so that'll be
like a cute dressed up girly night.
Saturday we're going to be doingsports things.

(28:10):
Sports things probably with the girls, maybe the guys go golfing
and leave us the fuck alone. And then?
Mr. WS already pissed that we'reditching him for dinner.
He's like, yeah, so me and the boys, AKA my brothers who are
coming slash live in Nashville. He's like we're he's like, yeah.
Well, me and the boys in the group chat have already decided
like what we're going to do for guys night.
I said, you have a group chat with all of them.

(28:32):
He said, yeah, of course I do. I was like you.
And I'm just like, Oh my God, this man has a group chat with
my brothers now. I'm like, he's like, does that
upset you? I'm like, does it annoy me a
little bit? Yes.
Does it upset me? No.
It actually makes me very happy because they've never liked any
of my boyfriends. But the fact that they actively
text you unprompted without including me all the time, like

(28:53):
all of them do, that have met him, I'm like OK OK, it's
official now. You're in the fam.
Which I told them they could meet up with us afterwards.
They just can't come to girls dinner.
Right, which is what they'll do.Because they're idiots.
Yeah, LILO sponsor us. So it's my friend's birthday and
all my friends I get them my favorite vibrator for their

(29:14):
birthday. Did you buy her one?
I did, I did. Since she's my neighbor, I'm
going to give it to her before we go out because I don't want
her to have to walk around with a vibrator all night while we're
in Chowtown. What a conversation starter
while we're out at the bar trying to wing woman her and she
just, she's like, look what I have with me.

(29:34):
And she's kind of funny when shegets drunk that I'm like, I
could totally mind you ripping it out.
But Leela, we love you. The sonar cruise, amazing, We
love you. Please sponsor us and make us
famous. Thank you for giving us all the
orgasms that our men can't. Clown season.
Clown behavior, anyway. So let's discuss theories on why

(29:59):
we think men don't approach women in the bars anymore, or
not even in the bars, just out in the.
World in public organically so #1 fear of.
Rejection. Agreed.
I also think like the app culture, like we talked about
last episode and the whole DM culture, it's easier and it ties

(30:21):
back into fear of rejection. It's easier to get rejected via
phone than it is via person. Yep 1000% I mean between the
apps. I mean, guys, you guys are
notorious for this, using old photos.
And I know girls sometimes do this too, and you get really
pissed off when a girl catfishesyou.
But I've been catfished so many times.

(30:42):
They don't look like they're pictures.
It's like from four or five years ago.
Yes. With women, it's like a picture
that's like a year or two old. With men, it's like 5 to 10
years old. One time one of my micropenis
stories, his photos were like 7 years old because he like showed
up to my door and I was like, isthis the same person?
Because this man had. Brought a mother fucking

(31:03):
kidnapped. I'm thinking I was like, what?
The fuck is this? But phones DM culture it's
easier just to message someone online.
The hashtag me too awareness. Men are afraid to sexually
harass women. Which they should be.

(31:26):
I don't. I've heard men say that before
where they're like, oh, I can't even approach women because
they're going to call harassmentor rape.
And I'm just don't harass or rape her and you won't be
accused of that. I don't know.
A decent human being? No is a full sentence,
motherfuckers. Don't be creepy.

(31:48):
I don't know. Common sense, I fear, is not in
their. I just don't think it's
practiced because it doesn't have to be.
And that's where it comes acrossas creepy and not natural or
organic. Like most of the guys I meet,
sadly, I have to be the one thatapproaches them.
And the ones that approach me, most of the time, I'm not

(32:09):
interested in them. Yeah, I was like, I don't know
what to tell you guys like get the confidence of the ugly guys
because they be approaching us like no, ever.
It's the hot 1 social approach. I'm like, you look so fucking
hot. I'm I fucking understand out of
you and you're still approached the.

(32:32):
The non attractive ugly ones. I'm sorry guys, just there's
ugly men, there's ugly women. Sorry, they don't.
They don't know social anxiety. Social anxiety knows them.
Literally. Literally they're always the
ones with the cringiest pick up lines too.
Yes. What is the cringiest pick up
line you've ever gotten? I don't know.

(32:55):
You go first. I'll say one comes immediately
to mind. I was in the grocery store and
I, I walked into the grocery store.
I went over to the produce and II'm like, do something.
I happened to make eye contact with some dude and he like
smiles and I just like, you know, give that polite, no teeth
smile back where you're just kind of like, you know, So then

(33:17):
I'm going, yeah, going about my day shopping.
He comes up to me later on and he's like, oh, hey, I think my
friend knows you. I saw a picture of you guys
together on her Facebook. And mind you, this man is
shorter than me. He was probably like 5-3.
And I said, are you trying to pick me up?

(33:39):
And he was like, he's like, no, I'm not hitting on you, I swear.
And I said, let me guess. You are saying that you have a
picture of me and your friend, but you're going to turn the
camera and it's going to be my face because it's going to be
facing. I mean, he's like, no, no, no.
He's like, I just want to like show you like this picture.
Like you and her are like the most beautiful girls in the
world. And I want you a picture like
the most beautiful girls in the world.

(34:00):
And I was like. OK, so then so gross.
So then he turns so that I take the phone from him and it's
literally me in the camera. And I hand it back to him and I
said, ha, good one. His name was like Chitty or
Chitty or something like that. And he's like trying to ask me
out. And luckily I didn't even have
to lie. I said I'm going to be out of

(34:21):
town for the next two months. Like I have vacations.
I have army duty. I've been like, I'm moving, I'm
moving, I. Said I'm moving to Alaska, so
and he was like, can I get your Snapchat?
I said yeah, sure. So we get exchanged Snapchats.
I immediately blocked him and then I saw him later on as we're
checking out and I was like, oh,I hope you didn't try to
Snapchat me because I immediately blocked.

(34:45):
You, yeah. But I'm also like, I'm that type
of girl where the moment they start trying to hit on me or
come up with a pick up line I immediately cut them down.
I'm like, no. See, and I'm like, that's why we
do like, I like it. I'm like, hit on me, Vicky.
Is like this is Vicky is like the golden retriever that's like

(35:07):
yes, pet me more and I'm the black cat that's in the
background that's hissing at youlike don't come near me with
like my hackles raised like Vicky, like La La and I'm like.
See This is why men don't approach girls at bars because
you're the one that is fucking like barking at them and mean
mugging them and then the sweet girls like me that actually want
you to approach them who are smiling and I fucking the shit
out of you. You don't come up to me because

(35:28):
I guess you think I'm a bitch. I don't know, maybe I'm just.
I will try. No, you're not ugly.
I will try to be better about itthis weekend, I promise.
I was like, don't scare off my man.
I won't because I'll be, you know, focused on, like, there'll
be other things going around, but the moment I feel his vibes
are off, I'm going to become scary.

(35:48):
And that's just me protecting you.
It's spooky season. Just let me get murdered.
No. How fucked up would that be if
we. Literally went out and got.
Murdered by clowns. That would be our fucking luck.
Wait, wait, wait. OK, I feel like we still haven't

(36:09):
even talked about this topic. OK, but back to men approaching
women, I feel like what we said earlier, men are confident until
they see a hot ass woman in heels and then I guess they're
just intimidated by it or what? You know, I just.

(36:30):
Think that they don't have to doit they so we put this on our
Instagram and we asked men you know why don't you or what makes
you feel like you can when you have I just almost threw up in
my mouth. And I heard it.
I was like. All right, so we posted on our

(36:52):
Instagram this week because Grace and I were curious, you
know, why don't men approach girls at bars and have dating
apps really kind of stunted it? And I think they have because
men, again, it's a lot easier for you to click yes on a dating
app because, you know, you won'teven know if we ex you, You
won't know if we ex you. If we're even active on the app

(37:15):
and you might message us, we won't respond.
It wouldn't matter. You know, if you eventually get
us out on a date off of a datingapp, then that's a different
story. But it's just, it's a lot easier
for men to approach women on dating apps.
And women are so eager on datingapps too that it's like, I guess
why bother approaching people inbars?

(37:35):
And it's frustrating to me because I put in a lot of effort
to look pretty at the bar, especially when I'm out with the
girls because I'm like, that wasa really good dress and I looked
really cute. And you know, there's a time and
a place for a guy to approach a girl.
And I don't know why y'all don'tdo it.
I don't know why y'all don't do it.
But the question was why don't men approach girls in the bar

(37:58):
anymore? And I said, if you still
approach a girl in the bar, whatmade you feel confident in doing
so? So we got a handful of responses
about this. So one of my friends said for
why don't you approach girls in the bar anymore?
He said You're my friend's cock blocking me.

(38:21):
Which are men really cock blocking each other?
No, and he was like, it's alwaysmy ugly friends, that cock block
that's like, fuck. Not the ugly.
I'm not allowed to approach girls because I'm out with my
ugly friends and they don't. They like cock blocked me and I
was like what? Oh my God, that's so.

(38:43):
I feel like that's vastly different for women.
If some if like one of our girlsis like, yo, I kind of want to
go after that guy. We're all like, fuck yeah, do
it. Do you need help?
You know what I mean? Like we're like, OK, we're
behind you. I know another person said the
apps have made men lazy. Agreed.
Agreed. The apps have men made men lazy

(39:05):
and I think I got 3 or 4 responses like that that just
said you know apps have made it easier and I'm less afraid of
getting rejected if I message a girl on an app versus if I do it
in person. So someone said.
I said earlier. I know it just said apps are
just easier because it's way more yes, slash no.

(39:27):
Were you rejected or not? And I said so do you rely on the
app and don't approach in public?
This is for science. This is me baiting this man to
get an answer. He said guys generally fear
rejection, but I'll still go up to girls in public if I feel
welcome. He said like the subtlest green
light gesture all come up. He said oh look, general

(39:49):
drifting in my direction lookingbored.
So probably answers nothing. Have a good day.
But no, I mean I don't know if women need to spell it out more.
I mean if I am. If I'm making direct eye contact
with you over and over again or like my group is inching closer

(40:11):
to your group like approach approach.
Yes, yes. I keep seeing all these things
on TikTok where girls are like basically giving out business
cards with their Instagram handles and walking around with
signs being like please approachme because it's.
Right. Or wearing shirts that like,
yes, I'm single, talk to me. And it's because men don't have

(40:32):
to approach women in public anymore because they can get
whatever they want off of the dating app.
And it's. Sad.
I don't want their egos bruised.Lordy, lordy, lordy.
I'm like, I don't want my ego bruised either.
I mean, there's been plenty of times I've approached guys in a
bar and I've been like, you're really cute.
And he's like, I have a girlfriend.
I was like, OK, won't go there, won't go there.

(40:56):
Goodbye, goodbye. I move on so bad.
Like I didn't go home and cry about it.
Like, I don't know man, just getthere.
Interesting because I've there have been times where guys hit
on me in the bar and I'm like, you know, appreciate the hit.
I love the confidence boost for myself.
Thank you. But I'm in a relationship.

(41:17):
I have a boyfriend and a lot of them won't take that as a no.
They'll go so we can't be friends.
God. Dude, get the fuck.
Out of my face. I get that all the time.
Get out all the time all the time.
Like what other responses did weget?
I got one that said I don't approach women because 99.99% of

(41:38):
y'all are a pain in the ass in the long run and I don't want to
start that over again. And yes, I'm aware I'm at least
half the problem. This is a guy he had no I told
this guy he had a small Dick andthis was like, I think I told
him a couple weeks ago that he had a small Dick and well.

(41:58):
Wonder that was his answer he was talking about.
You not about me. He was like damn I thought I was
big. I was like you check a lot of
the other boxes but not that andhe said Ouch.
I said it's not you it's a good size I just don't know if it
would be enough for me long term.
He said LMAO damn I'm like I hate to break it to you.

(42:19):
There's plenty of white men withmassive cocks.
Like, yeah. Anyway, this is me.
I said I have a problem in all caps.
It's like I just like I was withbig Dicks good jobs.
Not asking for much. This is what he said.
He said. This is him manslating to me.

(42:42):
He said no you don't. You just like to be controlled
and dominated and told what to do.
Your outlet is sex. If you opened yourself up to a
genuinely good man, good career,high performer and forgot about
him needing a 12 inch cock, you'd be more fulfilled.
You've just never dated someone like that.
Oh at work I outperformed 99.9% of the population and I'm sure

(43:06):
your personality than you. He said I'm single at 40 because
my standards are fucking high. I don't settle and won't.
I don't need to and he said. So you're basing your dating
life now off of a lying, manipulative, cheating, law
breaking ex? You don't need a big Dick.
Doesn't. Everybody.
No, that's what he said. You don't need a big Dick.

(43:27):
You need a man. Oh, I hate this dude.
I hate him so much. Oh.
God, what a he sounds like a small Dick, man, from all of
that. Yeah, all of what you just said.
I'm like, oh, he's very insecureabout his Dick, which means he

(43:47):
has a small Dick, right? One of my brother's friends
responded to it and he was. He said the text box doesn't
have enough space so I have to DM you guys.
I was like, OK. Here we go.
There he goes and I was shocked that he responded because he
messaged me first and he goes why the fuck can't I message in
this? And I said, I don't know, it's

(44:09):
on our story, Never mind. That happened.
Every single guy that messaged me was like, I can't type in the
text box. And it's because it has limited
characters. And every single man who
messaged me was typing a book, abook about, you know,
approaching women in Boston. Mansplaining, yeah, yes, but
this is what he said, he said. I feel like due to the rules and

(44:30):
regulations of society today, asa male, it's difficult to gauge
how welcome our approach will be.
Unfortunately there are men out there who have ruined the
innocence of these interactions for the rest of us.
These are the men that can't respect the word know or respect
the curb. Their persistence leads to women
having to become more intense toget the point across.
Agreed. Yep.

(44:50):
Thankfully we live in a society now that women have more of a
voice and I think even the misogynistic peanut brain males
know this to some level. When he said that, I was like.
He. Goes but back to the point,
because of these interactions, sometimes women feel the need to
immediately save the time and gozero to 100 with a curb.
That's me, which for some guys is part of the game.

(45:14):
But for others that need to workup some confidence or get a
drink or two of liquid courage and before making the approach,
the response can be absolutely crushing.
So then guys now also try to save the time and go zero to 100
and then they don't even shoot their shot.
Second question about confidencein the approach, how the girl
handles eye contact prior to theapproach.

(45:35):
If a if eye contact is made and it's held by both parties for
two to four seconds, it's a it'san opaque green light for the
approach. I mean, I, I contact all the
time like if you see me doing double box like get the fuck
over here, yes. And then he goes, he goes, now
if they throw a smile in there, that's a green light.

(45:57):
And he goes and if I and if I contact her shorter or quickly
aborted red light. No go.
So I was. Like, well, thank you for.
Learning men are men are basing whether or not to approach us
based on what we do with our eyes.
Yes, I guess we just have to like.

(46:19):
Loudly stare at them. Next time, next time, just go.
Honestly, for the plot. For the plot.
Please do that this weekend. I will literally pee my pants.
Get it on record it, record it. I will.

(46:40):
We have to do it. No problem going up to guys in
the bar, especially if I've had a couple drinks.
I'm like, I mean, you've seen meapproach mini men in the bar.
All my friends have seen me approach mini men in the bar
and. Literally, that's how I know you
like someone because of the way you do eye contact.
I'm like, oh, Vicky's going in. I don't put the moves down, I
don't care. I, I know it immediately.

(47:02):
It's so funny. And then another person DM Ed
me, but it's a girl, she's two years older than us.
And she said, dude, only youngerguys come up to me.
I mean it's been a long time, keep going.
But she said she said it's been a long time because I don't
really go out that much anymore.But the last time somebody came

(47:25):
up to me it was a 25 year old and I've been picked up by 25
year olds unknowingly because I thought they were at least 2829.
Then I found out way too late that they were 25 lol.
But seriously, no dudes are going up to girls at bars
anymore. I think it bruises their ego too
much if they are rejected. No.
Which I. That is so valid about the

(47:45):
younger guy thing. Those are the only like, OK, the
only guys that approach me either are ugly and just have
the audacity. They just have the audacity and
that gross, like confidence thatthey just believe that they can
pick up any woman, right? Or they're super young.
Like, I can think about this guythat I met at Mother's Ruin of
all places last year is maybe like my first two months living

(48:08):
in Nashville. And I went home with him and he
like, gave me his full name. Whatever.
He's kind of famous. He like kind of does some stuff
in the music industry and he told me he was 28 at the time I
was 30. So I was like, OK, socially
acceptable. So I Google him and I'm like,
you are far too famous to be lying to me about your age.
He's fucking 24, which I'm like,he's really hot.

(48:35):
I'm like, but if he had told me he was 24, would I have gone
home with him? Probably not.
Probably not. Probably not.
But after the fact, I was like, dude, you're giving me your full
name. You're far too famous.
Like I I found your page. I see your birthday like.
Oh my gosh, I love that. Did did you have anyone that

(48:55):
responded to the girl question? I did, but we did on the actual
page. OK last one from the guys this
guy so I had dating apps and I went to Saint Pete as you guys
know on a solo trip. I matched with this guy in Saint
Pete never met up with him but he still like follows me on
Instagram and like respond to a lot of our content.

(49:16):
His response was a lot of girls have gotten more defensive and
rude. I yeah, look at the state of
men. Yeah, so in response to this
question, several people were like, yeah, women are bitches.
Some that's why we don't approach.

(49:38):
Some were like self aware inside, you know, we're a little
nervous to approach or we're afraid of rejection.
And some were just like apps just make it easier.
Sorry, I'm going to go for the easy shot.
It's kind of the summary of whatI had here.
But I did learn that which I already knew this.
Like, I mean, I don't know how hard I have to I fuck a guy to
get him to fucking come over. I still have to fucking initiate

(49:58):
but. I feel like the men who said
it's because women are bitches are the ones who are so insecure
about themselves. Yeah, yeah, or just just can't
take no for an answer. Yeah, when you were like, no, is

(50:19):
a complete sentence and I'm like.
Yes, bitch, it is. OK, let's see what the girlie
said. So similar to the guys, we asked
a follow up question to the girls and the question was if
you've been approached at the bar by a guy, were you receptive
to it? Yes or no?
So guys, you're telling us that you're nervous to approach us so

(50:41):
we asked the girls you know should do you want to be
approached? Yes or no?
First one said I love talking tostrangers.
Same same. I fucking love talking to
strangers so this. Is my friend from Charleston and
every time we go out I don't know what it is about her aura.
She has a fiance. She would never like ever do

(51:04):
anything no but every time we goout all of a sudden she is just
becoming best friends with like 3 people and I'm just like do
you know them? She's like no we just started
talking and then it's like I waslike oh their wife died because
of this. They have sciatica you know they
doing this and like it just lists off all of these things.
I'm like how do you know all of this?

(51:24):
I was just talking to him like they just told me.
Everything. So she's like, yes, approach me.
I want to talk to strangers all night.
Yes. Another person said.
Yes, I want to be approached at the bar.
They weren't creepy. Yo, I feel that.
I don't feel that this girl thatshe's the one that said this.
And I think we had a prompt for something about like craziest

(51:47):
thing someone's ever sent you ona dating app.
And this the girl, a guy told her or swiped up on her story or
something, approached her and was like damn girl does that
pussy. Piss something along those
lines. I was.
Like. No, back when I was on dating

(52:10):
apps, I've I've a bunch of single girlfriends here in
Nashville and we were all on dating apps and I was out with
one of my friends and she was like, oh, I'm excited about this
guy. He might meet up with us
tonight. And she like showed me his
profile and he had sent us the same pick up line be more
original. I think it was one of those
like, oh, I want to like something about bodies and

(52:32):
curves. I want to like drive all over
those curves. I don't know.
OK. Do you want to be approached in
the bar? It says if you were approached
by a guy, were you receptive to it?
No, because they were ugly and poor.
Maybe girls are bitches. This is why guys don't want to
approach us. No, you're worth ladies.

(52:57):
Keep doing the good work. The last response said, yes, I
appreciate being approached. I'm receptive to receptive to
it. And I love the confidence, which
I'm someone who's very attractedto confidence too, that I mean,
even the ugliest guy I could endup with because they have, you

(53:19):
know, a great personality, whichis some clown behavior, I guess.
But I like like the confidence. Like if you're confident enough
to come out to me, especially intoday's day and age where no men
like men infrequently do this. The only men that do are the
ones that like they don't have ashot with you anyway, so they're
just going to shoot it regardless.

(53:41):
That's. It yeah, And that's it.
And there's a line between when it's cute versus when it's
creepy. And I feel like a lot of guys
don't know how to tow that line and they tow into creepy and not
like cute and confident. Yeah, I just, I don't think I've
been approached enough. And maybe it's because I just

(54:02):
get into impatient and I'm I I just end up approaching first
anyway. OK, so for men, if you have the
confidence to go up to a woman, just don't be creepy.
Don't like hover over them if they give you eye contact for
more than three to four seconds or they do a double tape look at
you green light. Go for it.

(54:23):
Go, you know, bring bring a compliment in like, Oh my God,
you're, you look beautiful tonight.
I love the way like your confidence is flowing, you know,
and if you approach a group, I'mI'm giving you these tips, my
dudes. And if you approach a group,
make sure you're bringing some friends too.
You know, like the other girliesprobably also might be single.

(54:45):
So you know, plus that way they can distract safe members.
Safe members? Yes.
Yeah, and so I went out guy #5 who I forgot about.
I went out to to. Night.
How many times have you seen him?
Just once, but we've been talking since though, so he's

(55:06):
not. I'm just.
Not yet. OK.
Yeah, I don't know. That's why you forgot him.
I thought you guys had seen eachother like four or five.
Times No, no, no. But anyway, so I was out with
two of my girlfriends and we were out dancing that night and
we saw a group of three guys by themselves and one of my friends

(55:26):
was like, they look like they'd be fun.
Let's go be friends with them. So we just, the three of us went
up to these three guys and here I am at 8:00 PM doing splits in
the middle of the fucking dance floor with this guy trying to
teach a guy how to do splits. It was just like, it ended up
being just like kind of a casualfriend vibe.
And now we have our own Instagram like group chat with
all six of us. It's like 3 guys, 3 girls, no

(55:50):
pressure. The only person who hooked up
with someone was me and that other guy in the group.
And like even still, you know, we're just like in a friend kind
of zone. But yeah, that was like us being
like, hey, these guys look cool,let's go be friends with them.
So it's like, why can't guys do that?
And that's the way to do it. Just show up with like a friend
vibe and I can guarantee that girl will be like, get in my

(56:12):
pants. Vicky can occur.
Can concur to that because I remember one time, the first
time I visited you in Nashville,we went out with a group of
girls and one guy started hitting on you.
I think he was like some type offame.
Wait, is this the famous singer?We met him at Mother's Ruin.
Yes. Oh my God, this is all coming

(56:35):
together. Oh my God, yes.
And then? That was that.
Night. Oh my God.
And then me and the girl you're not friends with we're
distracting his short ass best friend.
Yeah. Because he like, he actually
approached me. And that's why I was like, this
is how I know you weren't actually 28 because you were
like 2425 approached me and liedto me about your age.

(56:56):
But he was, you know, confident enough, cute.
Like we were doing eye contact and he was, he approached me and
like I was out with all girls that night and yeah, it was
cool. I appreciated it, obviously.
Like, he was a cool dude. We still talking right now and
then whatever. That's so funny.
But that's another episode. It's another.

(57:17):
Episode. Thanks for coming to episode 18.
Thank you for sending and stories per usual.
I feel like the more we do it, the more listener submissions
we've been getting. So thank you all, A Listers.
We love you and appreciate you so, so much, Hearts.
Well, so what's the moral of thestory?
I feel like we never have a goodconclusion.

(57:39):
We did some research. I still don't think guys
approach women enough, period. Guys, be a little bit more
confident. We want to talk to you.
I want to talk to you. I don't know.
This is, this is what my traineralways says and what people I
see people say it on social media all the time.
They're like, you have to be comfortable with being

(57:59):
embarrassed. Like you need to get comfortable
with being embarrassed. Like it's not that big of a
deal, I promise. And then my trainer always says
to me, get comfortable with being uncomfortable, which I'm
like, OK, yeah. Which I've taken that to heart
and everything in my life now. I'm like, OK, I'm going to be a
little embarrassed about this, but maybe it's going to pay off.

(58:20):
Yeah, you know, so you, that's what you got to do.
You got a 5050 chance. I mean, what's the worst thing?
I mean, is it going to really ruin your night if you're like
out of the bar and you come up to a girl and she's like, no,
I'm not interested. I will say, like girls, this is
some advice for the girls. You don't have to be mean.
You don't have to be overly mean.
And I know that was some feedback that we got from men

(58:42):
was that, you know, women can bemean.
And I have witnessed women be really mean to guys that
approach them and you and. But I'm not mean until they.
Until they cross the line, right?
But that's the thing. There are some women that right
off the bat they're just like, Nope, you're fucking ugly.
Leave me alone. Like I'm out with my girls.
Like you don't have to be like abitch right off the bat.

(59:05):
Because like you're ruining it for the girls that do want to
get approached because there area lot of girls that are not
approachable. I will say that there are a lot
of girls that are not approachable, which I'm like,
girl, if you're not interested, just say like, I mean, again,
like men deserve to get snapped at.
If you're like, I have a boyfriend and they keep pushing,
that's different. That's different.
If you're like, I'm not interested and this person won't

(59:26):
stop and they're like becoming to the point of harassment.
No, but girls, if a guy comes upto you and you're like, you
know, you're really pretty, can I buy you a drink?
You can just be like, I'm so sorry.
Like I'm not interested. Like you can be nice.
You don't have to. Like a lot of girls will just be
like, no, fuck you, get the fuckaway from me.
And it's like that would ruin mymood if I was out of the bar, if

(59:48):
I approached a guy and he was like, fuck you, you ugly bitch,
like cry. Like, don't you ever make eye
contact with me again? I don't want your 3 to 5
seconds. I mean, I've gone up to guys who
like ended up having a girlfriend and.
You know, they were nice to me about it.
So I think ladies need to do better that if you want to

(01:00:09):
reject a guy that's come up to you, like be nice about it.
Be nice about it until you have to be mean about it because
you're scaring them off. Well, that's just like a good
piece of advice in general to everybody.
Be nice until you have to be me,you know?
Right. It's like assume positive
intention is what I would say for both sides.
Like can we just assume positiveintention in each other and it's

(01:00:33):
not meant to be like have the balls to just say like, I'm not
interested, guys, don't push it,OK, I'm not, you're not
interested. I'll walk away.
I'll go approach somebody else. Whatever, move on.
I think that's and I think that's like the biggest issue is
so many women have these horror stories of being like I said, no
five times and they just won't leave it alone.
And so now the moment a man takes interest in them, they're

(01:00:55):
like get the fuck away from me, which I totally get.
I totally. Get it, but like fix your
trauma. Fix your trauma.
Men fix themselves, fix your shit.
If a girl says no, fucking move on.
There's probably there's always.Women are always going to
outnumber a men at the bar. Move on to the next one.
Which I've actually seen happen before.
I literally watched this guy go from table to table hitting on

(01:01:18):
women until he was accepted. Then some girl came up to us
because he came up to my table and he tried to talk to us and
the guy was trying to hit on my red headed best friend and we
were like, no, thank you. So he walked away to the next
table and these two girls came up to us and was like, oh, hey,
did he just try to hit on you? We're like, yeah, we've watched

(01:01:38):
him like go from table to table and she goes, oh, cool.
Well, he raped our friend last night.
I was like, oh. OK, good to know.
And then he walked up to this lady, she probably was like 45.
And she immediately was like, hell yeah cuz he couldn't have
been more than 30. I was like oh God, lady.

(01:02:00):
Oh no. But she was all into it.
So I was like. You know to.
Each their own. The next guy that approaches
you, don't assume it's going to be a bad situation and
immediately shoot them. Don't.
Assume the worst. Don't assume the worst.
OK, first. Impressions.
First impressions. I feel like an evil villain in
this swivel chair while I'm talking with my hands while I'm.

(01:02:21):
Talking to you. Fucking cloud makeup.
All right, let's wrap this up. Okay, we may have been dressed
like clowns, but the real joke is the lack of Riz.
From men trying to pick up womenat the bar.
This is I'm going back to these young men.
I'm not an advocate for Gen. Z, but Gen.
Z has the RIZ they have. There is.

(01:02:41):
And I think it's because of these TikTok challenges and
things like that where it's like, we're going to do all this
funny shit on camera. And that's why I, like young
guys are like, they're more confident to do it because they
just post their entire life everywhere.
Anyway, Yeah. I will say I think all of my
little brothers are all Gen. Z.
They have 0 issues going up to women at the bars.

(01:03:02):
Like they have no confidence issues about it.
And to me as a sister, I think it's funny to watch.
Yeah. And I've, I've literally seen
them get rejected before. Not very often, which is because
of the confidence that they go up to.
And they're nice about it. And, you know, and like when
they are rejected, they're like,oh, OK.
Like, so sorry, you know, like, have a great night and they walk
away, which is the way you're supposed to do it, right?

(01:03:24):
And a lot of times their friend will see that they did that and
their friend will go up and hit on them and then they end up
taking that girl home. And I'm just like.
That's the way to do it, yeah. Like it wasn't the 1st.
One you wanted, but you still. Got a home run, you know.
Yeah, and I'm like, I love your brothers, but all of them are
bald and all of them spit game and all of your brothers have

(01:03:45):
hot wives. Like, like, that's what I'm
saying. I'm like, all of their wives are
hot, they're all fucking bald, but I'm like, they spit game.
They're must. They're confident they go up.
They aren't. Yeah, yeah.
What an ick for you. To it is an ick for me.
Like I love my sister-in-law so much.

(01:04:06):
They picked very well. But yeah, men, take a page out
of my brother's book, I'll have them write books for you guys.
Yeah, add it to the parenting book, add it to the pick up
lines and we'll all just be barefoot in the kitchen.
It'll be a it'll be A1 all for one book and come seeing

(01:04:26):
parenthood, how to parent your child, how to pick up a woman
dating, you know, all those, allthose good stuff.
Last thing, so I told you that all these men have just started
like resurfacing in my life. Nola Mann that I've seen on and
off for over a year. He called me like out of the
blue, which I was like he never calls me.
This is very weird. So I answered it and I could

(01:04:49):
tell he was very in his feels like about me and like the last
time we saw each other. And I was like you know I want
to continue this conversation but I got to go teach, got to
get in my zone and within like 2minutes of hanging up he
messaged me and he was like can we have a baby together?

(01:05:09):
And I'm just like, I feel like Ispoke this into existence
because it wasn't the last episode.
It was the episode before that. I was like crashing out and I
was like, I'm going to quit my fucking job and I'm going to
have New Orleans man babies. And I like, I know he does not
listen to the podcast. Like I guess I spoke it into
existence and he felt the need to like say that to me.

(01:05:31):
And I'm not going to lie, guys, I considered it.
I considered it. Please don't.
What did he say? I feel like I have to read this.
So I hang up the call. This is what the message says.
This is Sunday, October 5th at 2:30 PM.
I'm about to start teaching Jazzercise at 3:00 PM he's

(01:05:51):
called me. We talked for like 5-10 minutes.
I'm like I got to get ready fromclass, hang up.
Would you have a baby for me? That's what it said.
I said a baby is a big deal, butmaybe if we were serious about
each other and he was like, I want 1 and I was like how soon?
He said whenever you're ready anyway, he's like, let's just

(01:06:12):
start our love romance and be over with it.
He said I know that's crazy. I'd support you and the baby and
the nanny. I'm like, oh, support me and the
nanny. OK?
He's really found me in. And then he hits me with and I
love you, Vicki VIKKY. Didn't even.
Spell it right. I would have just.

(01:06:33):
I just would have responded withlike the correct spelling of my
name with an asterisk and nothing else.
Yeah, I I just didn't respond. OK.
Talk to you later. I haven't talked to him since.
I don't know what to say to that.
But I like honestly, I was like,you know, would it be so bad to
just like marry a rich guy and not work and have a baby?

(01:06:56):
Anyway, thanks for coming to episode 18.
Catch me on the next episode andsee if I'm pregnant.
That's some clown behavior. To catch our costumes for
episode 19. We don't know what they'll be
yet, but I'm sure they'll be just as great as our our clowns.
Yeah, it's spooky season, so Grace and I just again felt it

(01:07:19):
was so appropriate to dress up like our exes tonight.
Ellie, Ellie, bye.