Episode 3: Adrian’s Rolling Her Eyes at Us From the Afterlife

Grief is weird, messy and sometimes… kind of hilarious? In this episode, Grace and Vikki open up about losing Adrian and how that heartbreak unexpectedly made their friendship even stronger. From chaotic adventures together to Adrian’s legendary inability to take a shot without immediately throwing up, they share the raw, funny and painfully honest side of grief.

But don’t worry—it wouldn’t be Your Secret Is Safe with A without some truly ridiculous stories.

Laughter, tears and maybe a little regret—this episode has it all. Grab a drink (just don’t throw it up in a sink) and join the convo.

Learn more about the Adrian Newcomb Memorial Scholarship: https://www.newriverunited.com/page/show/7101004-adrian-newcomb-memorial-scholarship-

Donate: https://www.gofundme.com/f/adrian-newcomb-memorial-scholarship

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome back to your Secret safewith a episode 3 take 2.
Sorry for being a drunkard yesterday.
I just had a sad day. I felt like I needed a good cry
and I thought the wine would getme there.
Just ended with me and Zeus eating ice cream together on the
floor. I wanted to fucking murder you

(00:21):
because I could just hear you slurping on your ice cream and
then I was just listening to Zeus.
Slurping. On his napkins or whatever that
was near him. And both of you need to stop
before my misophonia makes me gohomicidal.
Yesterday was my bad. We're going to do better today.
Today is a new day, as long as you own your mistakes, which I

(00:44):
do, so sorry. Apologies to Grace for being
drunk. I think Spreadsheet Man was a
fan though because we had a little bit of sexy time over
over FaceTime last night. Well, WhatsApp because he he has
a green phone, if you know what I mean.
Literally the entire thing yesterday was just us singing so

(01:06):
poorly out of tune, which I we're definitely going to add
some of that to the blooper reelfor episode 3.
Horrendous. Yeah, singing is not my calling.
I can dance, kind of, but I'm tone deaf as fuck.
Oh girl, me too. Welcome back to your Secret Safe

(01:29):
with a Today's episode might be a heavy one, but don't worry,
we're going to find a way to make you laugh through those
tears. Maybe we'll see Vicki shed a
tear or two. We're going to dive into grief,
friendship, and the absolute kookiness of losing someone you
love. Yep, and of course, we have some
ridiculous stories to lighten the mood.
Today we're talking about Adrian, the one who, you know,

(01:52):
we dedicate this podcast to yoursecret safe with A and she's
taught us that life's too short to take anything for granted.
So now we're going to share those funny stories that
basically, you know, shaped our childhood.
And basically how the loss of Adrian kind of shaped both of us
and our friendship and the past five years of our lives.

(02:12):
And I think it kind of goes intoher loss, kind of goes into
almost probably every single choice we've made in the past
five years. Oh yeah.
Whether it was a good choice or a bad choice, always in the back
of our mind. Would Adrian do this?
Yeah, she was. Yes, always in spirit.
It's like if Adrian would support this, should I do it?

(02:34):
The answer is always yes. Yes, you should.
She was one-of-a-kind. It's hard to put into words, but
she definitely made us stronger as friends.
There's definitely some stories we can share, funny ones,
emotional ones. We talk about vag and our
tattoo, our three dots we have going on over here, but I

(02:55):
believe there's a reason she wasthe A and she was in the middle
of us because she truly did holdus together.
There were definitely times in our trio where we were fighting
for whatever the reason, maybe someone's mad at someone.
It's usually everyone's mad at me because I was being a slut.
Different reasons like that. But whenever we would get upset

(03:16):
with each other, we would alwaysmark out the dot of the person
that we were exiling. It always had to be two verse
one, right? My favorite is when we would be
out at a party and one of us would say something like a mean
joke to another one and we wouldlike hold up our wrist and just
be like and cross out that dot that you were, whatever dot you

(03:39):
were. Which I mean, goes to show
exactly how our friendship is. We got these tattoos at Beach
Week Myrtle Beach when we were 18 years old.
And before we got these tattoos,we actually used to draw them
onto our wrist daily with a Sharpie.
You remember that? Yes.
I we probably have some type of chemical disease or whatever or

(04:03):
cancer from having permanent sharpie on our wrist every
single day for an entire year straight before we finally got
it tattooed. Yeah, and when we finally did,
Adrian almost posted out. You went first, I went first.
And then you went next and then Adrian was like, oh, I don't
know if I can do things. They're like bitch.

(04:25):
Bitch you better sit down in a job forsaken chair because I
just permanently. Inked.
Myself for you. I think it was like $60.00 a
tattoo. And I remember like, as it was
happening, thinking to myself, like, this man is literally just
eyeballing circle dots onto our wrist.
Like there was no stencil. There was no measuring.

(04:45):
There was no like, you know, letme map this out first.
He's just like, give me your wrist and starts like circling.
All of our dots were all different sizes.
I ended up getting mine like redone like a little bit.
Yours are like big now. Mine are just like super faded.
Yeah, to help even out the dots.Like my first dot is huge
because the dude just was free balling circles, no stencil.

(05:08):
And I mean we went to some shitty shop in Myrtle Beach, SC
so you get what you pay for I guess.
One thing about. We're both so tired.
Yesterday was like cracked out, cashed out, and today we're just
like. I have a cup of coffee.
Well, it's half CAF because you know, I have to go to sleep, but

(05:29):
I have a cup of coffee because Iwas like, I need to get some
fucking energy in me. When I was driving to go get my
sad girl meds. I was like blasting idiom
because I was like, come on, Grace.
Like we got to go. We got to go.
Like we got to get this energy pumped.
I'm just like waiting for my period to start today.
I have a little bit of anxiety of yesterday's results, a little

(05:50):
bit of anxiety after my conversation with Spreadsheet
Man. He seems to be acting normal but
I'm just like I'm embarrassed. What did he say about it today?
What do you mean? We're not going to address it,
We're just going to move on. It never happened if I.
Don't remember, never happened. Yeah.

(06:11):
I don't know if things seem positive, but yeah, Adrian was
the life of the party. The reason that we're refilming
is because yesterday I was mimicking her hot and how she
takes shots. So this episode is going to be
about wardrobe changes and how Adrian would change outfits 20
times. And then, you know, that scene

(06:31):
from the Grinch where he's like,oh, and he like, thinks he looks
so good. He's like, that's it.
I'm not going. That's Adrian.
And that was me yesterday. I was like, I look ugly.
I don't want to record. Well, yesterday I was George
Washington. Today I'm bald.
With no tequila shots. The silence is loud.

(06:53):
The silence is tough. But Speaking of tequila shots,
the one thing we could always count on Adrian for was being
the life of the party, even though the bitch could not
handle a fucking shot to save her goddamn life.
She would like, take a mini sip and like almost immediately
puke, like run to the bathroom. And I don't know what she was

(07:14):
thinking every single time, maybe nothing.
But she just she would always choose to throw up in the sink
instead of, you know, the trash can or the toilet.
And we lived in an apartment together and I remember one time
having to plunge the sink because of how much vomit was in
it. And I was like, this is like a
new level of repulsive I was. Going to say it was usually her
idea to take the shots too. She'd be like, Oh my God, like,

(07:37):
should we order shots? And me and Vicki are very big
shot people. So we're like, hell yeah, let's
get shots. We would take ours.
And she's like trying to run away or back away from getting
out of taking the shot. And I'm just like, bitch, get
the fuck back over here. Yeah, I'm like, I don't know why
she tortured herself like that, because she was so bad at it.
And like, I don't know. I don't know.

(08:00):
She could not handle it. To save her life, we should have
started giving her like juice. Water shots or something.
Yeah. Well, I mean, we were also
ripping like straight tequila. I'm like, maybe like the
girlies, we could have gotten a shooter.
Maybe I should have gotten a lemon drop.
Or like our friend Ellie, I'm ona kamikaze.
I'm do you. Remember how one time, Speaking
of kamikazes, we were at a bar in Richmond and she knew we were

(08:23):
there and she called the bartender and told him to make
us kamikaze shots? I was like you fucking dumb.
Bitch, yeah, they just showed upat our table and he's like, she
wouldn't come out with us because she's one of those
people that like when she's in bed or in a bathtub, like
there's no shot you get her to leave her house.
Like, not at all. I mean, the first time that you
and I, like, looked at our vaginas up close was I think in

(08:45):
Charleston or something. Why don't I remember this?
I remember this because I, you asked me, we were talking about
vaginas or something and I was like, I've never really seen
yours. And you were like, I've never
really seen yours. We were like, you know, let's
just show you how vaginas like you were like that size.
I was like yours too. Were we sober?

(09:10):
I think so. That makes it worse.
Like we've definitely been in some compromising situations,
but I mean, even like the beach week orgy and I was about to.
Say that I was about to be like,even like the.
Even while we were getting fucked next to each other in the
tub at beach week, I did not seeyour vagina the way I saw your

(09:31):
vagina. That way.
I met Priscilla for the first time.
Did she curl back? I didn't touch it.
You and I could never have a threesome together.
No, never. But it's funny because every
time we get drunk, we're like, oh, maybe one day we'll have a

(09:53):
threesome together and then we're sober and we're like,
that's a terrible idea. Yeah, no, no, I I've had plenty
of threesomes, but I don't know,can't do it with you, Grace.
Sorry. That is fine.
That's a best friend line that we do not need to.
Cross. Yeah.
Like are we going to make out all night?
Yes, yes, 1000% but that's aboutit.

(10:13):
No, I'm like our shower orgy. It was me, Grace and Adrian of
course, and three guys from our high school all just like in a
bathtub making out naked and fucking doing whatever.
And then shortly after, we all went, like, streaking on the
beach. And US wise girls, US wise women

(10:35):
were like, you know, we should stop doing this.
And our guy friends kept going. We were, you know, day drinking.
So we're out on the beach naked at like, 7:00 PM in Myrtle
Beach. Like Hammer.
It's like hammer. So fucked up.
It's summertime and our guy friends got arrested for public
nudity and there's a news article to this day, if you if
you Google their names, you see all of their mug shots.

(10:58):
And the funniest part about thatarticle is when the police like
came up on them, they ran into the ocean and everyone put their
swim trunks on except for one ofour friends who did not have
his. So he had to come back out of
the water naked and they made him wear a trash bag and.
The best part is when they finally got released from jail
the next day or got bailed out, he came back and was like, yeah,

(11:21):
I was in the back seat with my trash bag on and I'm soaking wet
from the ocean. So he's like, I'm just sliding
back and forth because there's no seatbelts in the back of the
cop car. Jesus Christ, what a monumental
moment. I'm like, thank God we left when
we did. We would have been on that too.
Absolutely. But I also remember when
everyone was streaking or when everyone was taking their

(11:42):
clothes off and the boys ran away.
I remember looking up and looking at them and being like,
that's way too much effort. I'm not sprinting in the sand
like that and stayed with you guys.
So my lazy, my laziness saved me.
Yeah, like, no, I'm not going torun.
So I'm gonna just sit here naked.
Yeah, literally. I'll be here when you get back.

(12:02):
Yeah, have fun. We had 0 inhibitions that week.
Release your inhibitions like. Inhibitions.
All that time we all took a tripto Wilmington.

(12:25):
Oh my God, yes. Let's talk about that, OK?
So let's talk about it was our senior year of high school and
we we had two girls that were close to a senior year, but then
we ended up not being friends with them anymore.
Yeah, it was a badge C for a little bit.
Yeah. Which makes no sense.

(12:45):
Badge C. She just no.
We should have known when the acronym didn't work, but So we
all went to Wilmington, NC together for senior year, spring
break and. She was a huge One Tree Hill
fan, so like the purpose of thistrip was to go around to all the
One Tree Hill film filming locations.

(13:07):
And it made me laugh because a bunch of our guy friends were
also there that week and it's were seniors in high school.
We the three of us were fucking degenerates.
And so of course, me having older siblings, allegedly, they

(13:30):
allegedly bought me alcohol And so I brought it with us and I
stuffed it in my giant suitcase.And so the girl we went with,
her mom, would always try to actlike she was super cool and fun
and like, didn't care if we drank and all of this stuff.
Nah, she was a controlling psychopath.

(13:51):
And she one night she was like, oh, like, let me make you like
margaritas or daiquiris while you girls get ready and stuff.
We're like, Oh my God, hell yeah, let's do it.
She put half a shot in. Each Oh God, I was so drunk, so
drunk off that half a shot, it'slike I never had liquor before.

(14:12):
And I remember we all took a sipof it and we're sitting in like
the living room area of the hotel room and we all like look
to each other and we're like, what the fuck is this like?
I'm like, didn't we go into our bags and pour some extra on top?
Are we you're trying to do like Elrod style?
Like if you've ever been to Elrod's, you know the margaritas
have like a layer of tequila on the top.

(14:34):
Uh huh. I think we tried to get some
more alcohol, but the girl's momand sister kept like watching us
and we couldn't get away with it.
Some of these photos are crazy. I've definitely untagged myself
from some of these because I'm just like, what even are these?

(14:54):
Oh my gosh, here we go. So yeah, that was the weekend
we're going to, wasn't it? Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna
black out faces. Also, do you see that comment
that says badge? It's like people new.
Oh yeah, we everyone called us badge.
For those of you, I mean, this will not be going up, but we're

(15:17):
swiping through old Facebook photos and a picture of me with
my high school ex-boyfriend justpopped up.
We there was one night we went to go hang out with the boys and
they were, I think like 20 minutes from our hotel.
And we met them downtown. And then the girl's mom was
like, well, I'm going to go backto the hotel, you guys can stay

(15:37):
downtown, whatever. And the boys were like, well, we
don't want to stay. Like, let's go back to our house
and drink. And we're like, OK, yeah.
So we stuffed 7 people in a fiveperson tiny little car and we
ended up, no, Adrian and Vicki ended up going into the ocean
later that night and I was like,I don't want to get wet.
We don't have any extra clothes.And it was March.

(15:59):
It's still freezing in Wilmington and the water was
freezing. Yeah, we went swimming.
I put my toes in and I was like,I'm I'm not doing that, but the
girls mom can just pick us up and me, Adrian and Vicki, we
basically decided we're like, we're the three of us are not
being separated for the rest of this trip.

(16:20):
Like wherever we go, we are sitting 123 lane 123.
So the three of us crowded into like the very back third row and
the mom is in the front of the car screaming at us.
She's like, how many people fit in a five person car?

(16:40):
This is we're going back to Earlon the seatbelts.
Here we go, Earl, do not listen the.
Three of us were dead silent like we were.
Not wait, you need to go to the picture.
There's a picture where like we're all sitting on the porch
at the boys house and we do not look well, it's not that one,
but that was the trip. But we.

(17:07):
Part of the trip we didn't have enough towels so Adrian used a
giant red fitted sheet. As her towel.
So that's Adrian. Keep going.
So the three of us are like dying in the back seat and we're
not saying anything. And at one point the girl goes,

(17:31):
my mom asked you a question and we're it's like we're doing a
thing where you're trying not tolaugh.
So you're holding your face and I can't remember if it was Vicki
or Adrian. One of you finally go 5 like
you're trying not to laugh. And the mom goes and how many
did you have in the car? And I almost lost it at that.

(17:52):
And I think, Vicki, I think it. Was me.
I was the one who answered. I crack under the pressure like
5. You were like 7.
I couldn't do it. And we made Adrian and I didn't
want to sleep with the girl, so we made Vicki sleep with her on
the pull out couch. Cruel, cruel, unusual punishment

(18:15):
yet again. Sorry.
And then later that night, the three of us, it wasn't even like
a queen bed, it was a full bed. And the three of us smashed
together and we made Adrian be the middle.
Because she's because she's the A.
Every time we all slept together, she was just like, I
hate being in the middle. I'm like, I snore, I can't.
I'm like the worst person you could ever possibly sleep with

(18:38):
and. I was such a light sleeper and
Adrian would like, she'd like cuddle up next to you.
But I remember her feet were freezing from the water and she
kept touching my legs with her toes and I was like, stop doing
that. And like, find a man who lets
you put your your cold toes on him.

(19:01):
My favorite part about this is that I was kind of dating that
guy, but then I'm wearing some adifferent guy's sweatshirt the
entire week. I mean, true, we're about to be
dead on the porch. Stay tuned.
Yep, that's what I'm like tryingto text.
I'm like, I'm in trouble. You're just called Adrienne.

(19:24):
Like what the fuck? I have red face from drinking
alcohol. All the brunettes.
My face here being like, are youeffing kidding me right now?
I think was this the night that we got in trouble or was it the
previous night? No, it was this night.
That was just always our life. Like we'd always bring a fourth
person in or something. We'd always hang out with other

(19:45):
people and then usually very quickly and we'd be like, we
don't fucking like this. And we would do whoever we were
with and then go do our own badge things.
Right, because badge forever, Henrietta.
And Adrian's middle name was. Is Henrietta, and we would
always make fun of her for it. Whenever she would do something

(20:06):
we didn't like or she'd do something stupid, we'd be like
Henrietta, and she gets so mad at us.
That's beach week, Myrtle Beach.Look how.
Tan we are. I know.
Oh my gosh. Because we went to.
Dirty Dicks. Dirty Dicks and Dicks.
Plus resort or whatever Dicks I don't know.
Dicks, Dave's Divers, I don't know whatever, but Vicki says

(20:29):
stole my makeup from the dollar store and then Adrian and I are
sitting next to each other and mine says lost my virginity to
her fingers and Adrian's hat says didn't feel like a virgin.
Yeah, if you've ever been to Myrtle Beach, you know exactly
what we're talking about. There's all these gimmicky
places. This was, oh this was right

(20:51):
after our friend asked us to come to her batch party.
I think we our friend invited, invited us to in a big group
chat and then me, Adrian and Vicki texted off to the side and
we were like, OK, so are you guys actually going?
Cuz I'm not going if you're not going in this text thread.
I literally say I didn't confirmI was coming until the two of
you did. Yeah, and then Grace and I went

(21:13):
because Adrian was dead. No, we didn't.
Well, we ended. Up we went to Virginia Beach and
said because it was COVID and and.
We ended up being bridesmaids. Yep, we ended up being
bridesmaids and Adrian's honor because Adrian was supposed to
be the bridesmaid. But no, that Virginia Beach

(21:34):
trip, that was the one where I was like taking solo tequila
shots and like going and sittingwith random people at the bar.
And then I got I got bounced outof the bar like the bouncer
literally like carried me out. And then Grace went home and had
sex with the bouncer. They I'm.
Sorry, I was well at first I waslike flirting so he wouldn't

(21:56):
kick us out and then I was like,oh, he's flirting back.
I was like. I was like, he's kind of cute.
You're like, don't kick her out.She's grieving.
Don't kick her out and then you.You had fallen like 5 or 6 times
and the the last time you took your shoes off and threw them
and fell and I like, I like turned and looked at him and he

(22:17):
said she's got to go. Sorry, I was.
Like not right? You're like, this is fair.
This is, this is casual thinkingbehavior.
Like at this point, like, no, I was hurt.
I was down bad for two days. Yeah, because the next day we
were all supposed to go to the beach together and I was down
bad too, but not as bad as you because throwing up all day.

(22:38):
And we basically just slept until 3:00 or 4:00 PM.
And they finally came back from the beach.
And then I rallied and went backout, but Vicki stayed in.
Oh yeah, Yep, still throwing up.That was a good time.
And then I came back the next day.

(22:58):
Well, no, you went and hooked upwith the bouncer.
Again, Yeah, I went and hooked up with the bouncer and then the
next morning everyone was texting me, me like you need to
freaking hurry up and get here because we're leaving soon.
Also I just found this while I was like walking out the door my
mom make it like a couple monthsago like found this letter from

(23:19):
Adrian that she had given me andso I keep it.
It's a birthday card and it saysall hell I got 9 lives, I can
spare a few and it's like a cat smoking a joint.
I love that. And it says it's your birthday,
do stuff you're not supposed to do.
And she hit me with the ye exclamation point.
Happy birthday my love. I'm so glad we are friends.

(23:41):
Let's celebrate 18 love. Adrian Newcomb.
PS Billy says happy b-day. Billy.
But yeah, no, I keep this on my stand.
Oh I love that so much. That's so cute.
I'm not gonna cry. I like Freddy today.
I don't want to mess up my makeup.
So would you hate that Sometimeswhen you have good makeup and

(24:03):
you're like, fuck, I have to go to sleep, I don't want to waste
this makeup. Yeah, that was me yesterday when
we tried to record the first time and I did.
What do you? Mean we did record.
We recorded for two hours of Vicki basically just singing and
complaining about her exes. Oh my, in Texas.

(24:24):
Actually none of my exes live inTexas.
Maybe I should go to that state?Oh no.
How about the time that I was house sitting slash pet sitting
and I threw the biggest rager? We were not conspicuous at all.
Literally I was like, guys, we're going to throw this party.

(24:45):
And I was like everyone like park down the street, like don't
park in front of the house, likewalk in, be sneaky, like biggest
rager of the year. But I was pet sitting.
These dogs, they were Newfoundlands.
If you know what a Newfoundland is, it's like a giant furry
black dog dog and there's literally a photo of Adrian
using one of these dogs as a pillow like drunk and eating

(25:07):
potato chips, like laying on thefloor on top of this dog.
While also wearing White Bunny. Slippers.
Oh yeah, she went out in slippers that night.
I don't even know what I was wearing.
The fact that I got paid for that house sitting gig is wild
because like, I was cleaning up vomit out of the couch.
I was. We fucked that house up.

(25:28):
We fucked. That house up and I think I had
sex. With like four people that
night, Woof. I used to teach their daughter
dance and I had a really good reputation.
You remember the other day when this girl who was a couple of
years younger than us, like, sawthat we started the podcast and
she was like, this is such a full circle moment.
I learned everything from you. I'm just like, yeah, I'm like,

(25:52):
that is a scary thought. I'm like, girl, are you OK?
Are you OK? I remember that night she took
the OR she was wearing the slippers out and it was like
their kids or something and Vicki told her if you take these
out cannot get ruined and you have to bring them.

(26:13):
I think it ended up raining or something and the slippers were
ruined. I think Vicky tried to put them
in the wash and it didn't work. I think you ended up just
throwing them away and pretending like you just never
saw them. Yeah, no one ever said anything
about the slippers, but if anyone knows, Adrian's like 5
feet tall and has, like, baby feet.
So she was like this girl I usedto babysit, she was wearing her

(26:37):
slippers. And yeah, that's how the night
ended. I'm like, yeah, I don't ruin
those. My favorite would be.
We would go out together during high school and we would just
wear the wildest fucking outfitspossible.

(26:59):
Like we would just throw together whatever we could find
and we would think it was so funny and so cute.
And when I look at it now, I'm just like what was wrong with?
Us. You're like, what was this
outfit? I don't even know.
Just typical millennial behavior.
My gosh, look at this. Baby picture of her.

(27:19):
Oh, she's so beautiful. She had.
Not gonna cry. Vegas blue eyes.
They were like blueberry saucers.
Yeah, trying as her bitches. Like that and her hair was
always like super unruly and shedidn't brush it or wash it or do
anything to it which was 99% of the time it she literally would

(27:41):
look like a lion. Yes, she was a lion.
She was fierce babes. I remember this super dark
eyeliner she used to layer. Yeah, that was a bad phase.
One thing about Adrian, she always had a good time wherever
she went. Hell, yeah.
I think about all those times wewere at parties at Pheasant Run
because she had an older brotherwho lived there.

(28:03):
She was the best. We were like on the roof, we
were dancing. Adrian's parents were like, they
were the scapegoat house. Like I used to tell my parents
I'm going to Adrian's because her family was like never
around. I remember sometimes Adrian and
I would text each other or like my mom would be texting Adrian's
mom, but sometimes it would be like us.

(28:26):
And so our moms started like thecode word with each other.
And if the code word wasn't in the text message, then they knew
it wasn't our moms. And Adrian and I figured it out
really well. And what, like years later, my
mom was talking to me about it and I was like, what was the
code word? And she said, oh, it was if we

(28:47):
didn't say hey girl in the text message, then we knew it wasn't
one of us. I said, yeah, I figured that
shit out. The second text message I saw,
because you got I was like, why are they randomly just saying
hey girl to each other? I was like.
And then I. Realized like, that's not like a
normal thing. Hey, girl.
Yeah. And sometimes it would be like
oh blah blah blah blah blah blahblah and then a random hey girl

(29:09):
at the end. Parents are so sly.
I don't even, I don't even thinkmy, I mean, I haven't really
asked my mom these days. I kind of surprised my parents,
but I'm just like, you totally knew.
You totally knew. I think they very much did.
Probably like ignorance is for us.
Yeah, right. Our childhood stories, there's
so many. I wish, like, I wish I

(29:30):
remembered more. I just feel like it was so long
ago. It was so long ago.
It's been five years since she'sbeen gone.
Oh that was when she came to visit me and my ex-boyfriend in
DC. We got drunk McDonald's and
there's like a video of us like jamming out eating French fries
in her car and her blue blueberry Prius.

(29:51):
Oh my gosh, I miss the blueberryPrius.
There's an old man, I don't knowif he exists anymore because I
don't see the car anymore, but he had the same car as Adrian.
And so whenever I would be driving around our town and I
would see it, I would always think it was her and I would
always like, speed up and start waving aggressively at the

(30:11):
person and then realize last minute, oh wait, that is not
Adrian. That is random man.
I forgot we went on a cruise ship together.
Oh. I forgot about the cruise.
Yeah, so her boyfriend at the time.
So when Adrian and I were roommates we got this cat
together and I'd messaged her something about the cat and like

(30:33):
she never responded or something.
I was really upset about it and Grace told me your ex-boyfriend
threw the cat off the balcony inthe snow and that's why Adrian
didn't want to tell me about like, how the cat was.
He definitely had anger issues, I'll say that much.
Yeah. Remember, like she we literally

(30:54):
like the day before she died, we're all texting.
It was you, me, her, and we're all like Merry Christmas.
And then the next day she posts.It's like the ATV.
She's having drinks, she's having fun.
She posted like she puts a post up for her boyfriend because
it's her, his birthday and the reason they're all, you know,

(31:14):
hanging out. And that was it.
Yeah, because she wasn't coming home for Christmas, which was
like the first time in years. But the rest of our friend group
from high school, we're all getting together that weekend
for like a little reunion. And so we were, I think our guy
friend, he had texted us asking if we were all going to be

(31:35):
there. We, Vicki and I said yes.
But I was like, no, I'm staying in Colorado with my boyfriend
and it's his birthday, too. Plus, because I think the
previous Christmas they had cometo Blacksburg.
That's when I met the boyfriend.Yeah.
And I have a video of her from that night where I tried to make
her take a tequila shot at Champs and she's literally

(31:59):
holding it. And she's like, do do, do, do,
do like, like dancing with it. She would always do these like
little, tiny little like dances with like her hands.
She's like, and like make noise like that.
Yes. I loved it when she would do
that or whenever she'd be excited about something.
She wouldn't say yeet or yay, she'd say ye.

(32:20):
Why? That's what said by letter.
Like literally that is what's inhere.
Do you see where it's like? Ye yeah.
Oh gosh, it always made me laugh, her little mannerisms.
That night with the white TS, I don't know what we were doing
that night with the white TS, but we had on neon bras.

(32:41):
Yeah, it was. That was when we went to the
paint party in Radford. Was this the paint party night?
I think so because we definitelyhave photos later with the
T-shirts off and just the neon bras on.
No, we that's that was Halloween.
This one was, it was a highlighter party at, at that 18

(33:02):
and up club or whatever. Someone rented it out and
someone was like one of our friends was like deejaying it.
And so we pregame at Adrian's house.
Mr. Spreadsheet Man mentioned this place to me the other day.
It's right behind Benny's Pizza.It's not 18 and plus Club
anymore, but it used to be. We went there for like a
highlighter party or something. We're like, the shit's lame.

(33:26):
We can't drink here. And then we who?
And then we brought some of our guy friends back to Adrian's
with us because I think her parents were out of town or
doing something. So we basically just had free
reign of the House again. Again, surprise.
Remember when Adrian got sent away to the farm after throwing

(33:46):
her party? That's what.
It was. That is what I was trying to
think of. She was.
Literally gone for like an entire summer.
Like she threw a party at her parents house and they were like
well goodbye, go live with your aunts and uncles and work on the
farm. They literally sent her away for
a summer of hard labor in between junior year and senior
year of high school and I remember she came back.

(34:08):
It was stepping out weekend and we all met up on the grassy hill
right across from Greens and like screamed when we saw each
other and immediately started crying.
It was like long We missed her so much.
I know. You and I were getting into
shenanigans that summer, though,because we were, you know, up
the street from each other. Yeah, because that was the
summer, you and I, That was the summer I lost my virginity.

(34:31):
We got arrested and thought thatwas when.
You lost your virginity. Who did you even lose your
virginity to? Oh, you told me this.
Yeah, he's an Eskimo with you, me and Adrian.
Yeah, no, because the dude I lost my virginity to, he and I
were in the same house that night and it was 4th of July

(34:55):
night. I remember this Vicky is with
her high school boyfriend at thetime and their room and I'm in
the guest room and him and I arehaving sex and this guy that I
had was dating previously accidentally comes into the room
and sees us having sex and the song Cat Daddy is playing in the

(35:19):
background like. Cat Daddy.
Super, super loud. And he does like the whole like,
dance motion where you look likeyou're doing, like where you
have a wheelchair and he, him and I lock eyes.
He's like cat daddy. And I was just like, I like
turned my head away. I was like, I'm going to kill
myself. And then the next morning Vicki
and I walk out into the living room and I was like, Oh my God,

(35:41):
I'm kind of sore. And she's like, why are you
sore? I said.
Oh my God, I lost my virginity. And she's like, Oh my.
God. I know, and then you go.
I lost my anal virginity. I cannot believe you would say
that. What am I wearing?
It's like, what is that? I'm like, let me wear this work

(36:02):
appropriate blouse with a that'shot pink with a sparkly silver
skirt. No, that was the thing when we
were like freshmen and stuff in college, it was all about.
The pencil skirt, the peplum top, the chunky necklace.
We basically wore business casual out to parties which is
just so insane to me. Insanely high heels that like

(36:25):
we're not just a high heel, theyalso had the fucking platform on
your toe. What is in her hair?
She has a paintbrush in her hair.
Oh my God, I clearly removed myself from that tag, but like
what? Oh my God, Adrian is such a

(36:50):
fucking goofball. Like the shit she would do and
she just did not care. Or she would do it, then she get
anxious about it, then she'd be like yeah, fuck it.
Like what even is this? I'm appalled to have ever
existed. Oh, this is when she was at
William. No, wait, fuck.
What's it called, Mary? Washington Yeah.
I had to go rescue her after herfirst year.

(37:12):
She had an awful roommate. She was like, all the soccer
girls are bitches. And I went and picked her up and
I locked my keys in the car and we had to call her locked back.
Then it was my old green Ford Escape.
And I locked my keys in the car.And she was like, you want to go

(37:32):
to the food hall while we wait? I was like, hell yeah, like,
let's just go get some food. Do you remember it was the day
she was leaving for Mary Washington.
You came and picked me up because we went to go say
goodbye to her because we both went to college locally.
And before we're we even see Adrian, like Vicki and I are all
already sobbing hysterically. And then we show up and the

(37:55):
three of us are just hugging andcrying like we're.
Never gonna see each. Other again, was this the
Kabuki? Day where we're like.
No, that kabuki was for my birth.
Your birthday. I think it was my birthday.
If it was Kabuki, it was for me.OK, so August 15th it was your
birthday. It was my birthday and we also

(38:16):
went. I think it was like our last.
Graduation like a little hoorah.Yeah, it was my birthday and our
last dinner together before we all left for like college quota,
Dang. The belted dresses were like
such a vibe. And this picture of Vicky and I
both have belted dresses on. Vicky has the big, thick belt,
and I have like a little thin yellow belt.

(38:37):
I literally look like Beetlejuice in this picture.
But this was just her, just like, it was right before.
She literally was like getting in the car and leaving.
And we're just sobbing hysterically, the three of us
hugging. And her parents were like, oh,
that's so sweet. And then eventually they're
like, OK, girls like. Wrap it up.
We need to go and we are just like, no, this just made me

(39:02):
laugh. And then I went and visited
Adrian when she was up in Mary Washington one time, one of the
guys that lived in the Pheasant Run apartment, him and I drove
up to Mary Washington, got Adrian, and then we drove up to
DC where one of our friends wentto George Mason.
Is that what it's called? Yeah.

(39:22):
And we partied up at George Mason for the weekend and Adrian
and I were so excited to be together again.
That and this guy had like an older Mustang.
So there wasn't like a SEC. There was a second row, but you
had to like climb into the back of it.
And I was like, well, I don't want to sit in the front by
myself. So of course, in true fashion,

(39:43):
we both sat in the back and had like large McDonald Cokes and we
put a bunch of vodka in them andwe just drank.
Not a vodka coke. I think it was like an hour to
DC from Mary Washington, from Fredericksburg, Yeah.
And so we drank that hour just like getting hammered car.

(40:05):
So then we show up to our friend's apartment and we are
fucked up already. And then her friend or our
friend had like red sparkling wine or something.
So Adrian and I drink that. But we were so drunk that we
ended up throwing up literally everywhere.

(40:28):
I threw up on the floor, Adrian threw up on top of the mini
fridge. Our friend only had a twin bed,
so Adrian and I slept back-to-back and like she threw
up against the wall and it went down the wall and I threw up
like against the bed and it wentdown the bed and onto the floor.

(40:51):
And we drank red stuff so it literally looked like someone
got murdered all over the room. And we woke up the next day and
we were both just like what is happening?
And we had throw up like all over our shirts.
The worst is when you wake up with chunks in your hair.
Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about.

(41:11):
The three of us could not handlenot being together.
I literally felt like we were going through withdrawal when
Adrian left in Washington. So we would Skype.
This is back when Skype was a thing our freshman year of
college. And we would Skype each other,
if not every day, probably at least three to four times a

(41:35):
week. And it was never like a 15
minute, oh how are you doing call.
We would be on there for like 2 hours just talking and making
funny faces. We were big bow girls back in
the day. I'm a bow girl now.
Like a classy like big bow with like.

(41:55):
You can. I mean, I was a big bow girl in
high school just because I was acheerleader.
But I feel like you can pull those.
I feel like you can pull those off.
Every time I see them I'm like oh maybe this would look cute
with me but I feel like my vibe now is just not.
You're too dark. I'm too.
I'm golden retriever. I can pull off a bow.
Yeah, I feel like if I were to wear one, I would have imposter

(42:17):
syndrome. But the picture we're looking
at, it was the last party of thesummer.
My parents were out of town finally for the first time in my
entire life, and my older brother, who's four years older
than me. We told my parents that we had
to work and it was stepping out weekend, which is like a big St.
festival where we're from, and neither of us had to work.

(42:40):
I took off that weekend. I was like, I'm not working this
weekend. Was this when you were at the
Aquatic Center? The Aquatic Center.
Grace was a lifeguard. It was the fucking worst.
But so I invited all of our highschool friends and because it
was like our last two were all together before everyone went to

(43:00):
college. And then Andrew invited his
friends who they were all. In college.
Yeah, they were all in college. They were all 2122.
And per usual, it just ended up getting out of hand because
people told people who told people, right?
But it was one of the most fun parties of the summer.

(43:21):
I had such a good time. And of course, Adrian, Vicki and
I always had to have, like, we always had to coordinate our
outfits no matter what. So whether it was with a bow or
color or something. Or braids.
Or yeah, just the general vibe had to be the same.
Yeah. And so in this picture, the

(43:43):
three of us all have a side parton the same side with like a
giant bow on the side that matched.
Our outfit correct, correct. What a time to be alive on not
the digital cameras. Every now and then you bring out
the digital camera and low key the photos are fire.

(44:04):
Bring it back, bring it back. Bring it back, bring it back.
I'm going to bring it with me when I come see you in a few
weeks. But woo, yeah, this the picture
we're looking at is OG 2012 bright.
I'm literally wearing a sparkly tank top.
Like you remember the sparkle tank top phase where it's just
like full sequin with like hot blue shorts?

(44:25):
Wait. What is it, 1490?
My God it's so weird here. My laugh is disgusting.
Like literally someone off me. 14/9.
Remember how she had a photo of Wayne Rooney on her ceiling?
I was like he literally looks like he could be your brother.
Like you could not be attracted to this because Adrian and Wayne

(44:47):
Rooney are both very short lighthaired Hobbit types.
Yes, and they both have like sandy blonde hair with bright
blue eyes. They both have freckles like
Wayne Rooney, oddly enough looksa lot like her real life brother
So. This is an ick that like you
have a photo of. Like I remember sleeping in bed

(45:08):
with her and looking up at WayneRooney do.
You remember the one time she was really, really drunk and she
rolled over or she was dreaming about Wayne Rooney and she
rolled over and said something and someone was like, Adrian,
what'd you say? And she goes Wayne Rooney and
then rolled back over. This bitch was obsessed with our

(45:31):
man I. Just don't understand.
He's not even all that. No, whenever I look at him I
literally think of her brother. We we have to talk about the
braids. OK, so our thing was to always
to always have braids in and it was like Adrian's staple.

(45:56):
Like Adrian always had a braid or whatever.
And we would always, a lot of times if it wasn't the front of
our hair, like braiding our bangs back, it was usually like
we would have a braid like in the back of our hair.
Like a fucking rat tail. Yeah, basically a rat tail.
Adrian used to do like the Skrillex hairstyle, so he she
would have the side part with her hair over one way and then

(46:18):
it would be like braided back tight on the other.
So it was kind of like we shavedour heads.
Yeah. And so for senior year prom,
Adrian and True Adrian Fashion decided to do 2.
I think I braided it but I was like the intent was for her to
pull it back like mine. So if you're looking at this

(46:41):
photo, I have double braids too but I pulled mine back into like
1/2 pony with curls. She left hers down, she left
hers down and then she threw herhair back so it just looks like
she's got 2 little braids right here.
And they're so bad because she didn't if it would have been

(47:02):
good if she had like taken all of her hair and pushed it to the
front, but she didn't. She pulled all of her hair to
the back and then left just her two straggly rat tail braids in
the front. And then but it wasn't braided
all the way down to the end. So she had like an inch or two
of hair. So she had already curled her

(47:22):
hair. So her ends are like curling
everywhere and it just it looks insane.
And it's just so funny because like, Vicki and I's hair looks
good and then. I look good.
I was so hot senior year prom. I look good.
I can't believe that Dee wore a whole white suit though.
That is trash. Wasn't it like 3 or 4 of them?

(47:45):
We're like, we're going to wear white suits for senior prom and
we're all like, OK, dude. I have no idea.
I just know that my dress is fire.
I like fire. Of course, in true grace
fashion, me and my date wore allblack.
Yes, mine was like a pageant dress, but it's so pretty, So
pretty. Like look how good that dress
is. I love the big yeah big brooch

(48:07):
type thing. Like on her hip.
It was an ombre dress, like blueand it goes down to light.
My mom still has this dress because she.
Still does. I bet you still fit in it.
Oh, I wish honestly, these days I might, you know, I.
Can guarantee you probably stillfit in it.
Oh, I probably like hottest shit.
Too. That's what you should wear to
the wedding. No, I'm going to be classy.

(48:31):
That calls too much attention. But no, my mom has kept every
single like important dress of my life since I was born, to the
point where she also has all of my dance costumes from age 4 to
age 18. That's wild.

(48:52):
So if I ever, ever, ever have a daughter, she will 1000% be
playing dress up with all of my awful dance costumes over the
braids are too bad. I can't.
I can't. God, I thought it was fat here.
I'm so fucking skinny in. This no, the body dysmorphia
that people in their 30s feel. It's like when I think back to
high school, I was like, I was the fattest piece of lard to

(49:14):
ever exist. And now today I'm like, well,
must be nice. I'm like damn I wish I was still
a size 3. Right.
Honestly, I could probably fit in that now.
I definitely think you could. I've lost so much weight.
I'm like. Yeah, look how skinny my face
and neck look. I wish.

(49:35):
This is when she was like hatingon her prom dress and her hair
and she was like, I'm not going.And we're like, you know, let's
just all snuggle here and stay. Yes.
The hair with the little like the little.

(49:56):
Curly cute hair. It's Adrian pouting in bed,
refusing to go to prom. You have to post it.
That's what she's literally sucking her thumb, refusing to
get up. I remember Vicki and I were so
mad at her because at first we're like, haha, OK, funny
Adrian, you always do this. And then she was like, no, like,
I'm legit not going. And we were like bitch, get the

(50:18):
fuck. Out of bed.
This is my favorite picture fromthis knife.
Yeah, I was like. Come out and she's like knife.
She threatened us with a knife. Just like my ex-boyfriend one of
them. Whoa.
She was so fucking funny anytimewe went somewhere and she did
not like her outfit. Yeah, that was literally me

(50:39):
yesterday changing my outfit 8 times.
Can't get over when we were low rise low rise jeans with the
extra crop top like. Like, see, for me, I'm like, am
I fat here? Or is that just my like arched
back and my uterus like stickingout over my jeans like a normal
human being? I think it's you just being a
normal human being and being a woman that has a uterus.

(51:02):
Damn, nothing like the FUPA though I hate.
We're all got a big one now. Does Mr. Dubby like it?
OK, yes, he loves my body. Every time I take off a piece of
clothing, like it could be like a sock sock, he's just like, I'm
like, can you calm down? Like thank you for loving my

(51:23):
body, but I need you to chill. See that's so nice.
I'm like with my ex, it was always you're too fat, you have
bad style, you lack confidence. The audacity of him saying that.
He was like, you never wear lingerie and you know you don't
act sexy enough, but I'm just like, OK.

(51:44):
Why don't you suck my Dick? Like I believe he was
projecting. Like the fact that anyone ever
has called me not confident is alittle scary.
Like I wouldn't say I'm the mostconfident person ever.
Like everyone has their insecurities but the person you
love shouldn't be the person that makes you feel the worst
about yourself. Yeah, your husband shouldn't be
telling you that you're fat. Remember when we used to cone

(52:07):
people? Yes, we, the three of us thought
it was the funniest thing in theworld.
And so our local library, I mean, now that we're admitting
those 15 years later, our local library had a bunch of cones.
Like street cones. We're talking like the orange
like cones. And they had it in one of in

(52:28):
front of one of their driveways to make sure people didn't park
there. And we probably stole it 1015
times. We used to steal these rubber
cones and we would either sneak them into people's houses, put
them on top of their cars, like just do ridiculous things.
But these cones, I even did thisin college.

(52:49):
My freshman year I snuck one into Pritchard and I don't know
what happened to it but people would just come out to their
cars and find like random orangecones on them.
One time we found an abandoned couch on the side of the road
and we were like you know what this would be really funny if we
took this to this guys house. So we were in my old court

(53:11):
escape. Adrian and Grace are like
holding on to this couch for dear life because like literally
like 1/4 of it is in my car and the rest is staking out the
back. Like we tried to go vertical and
like they're holding on to this couch so it doesn't fall out of
the back of my car. We're just like driving main
streets and blacks with like a fucking couch half outside of my
car and then we put it in this dudes driveway to block him in.

(53:36):
The fact that we were like, thiswould be so funny if we did
manual labor and move this couch.
And I was like, I'm like, who can I hire to move this couch
for me, literally? Because I remember we were
driving around that night, therewas like nothing to do.
No one was doing anything. We were.
So it's so. Boring.
We were like, we got to do something.
We are stone cold sober and we see the couch on this and we

(53:57):
always did it to this one guy. I don't know why but he was
known for being grumpy sometimes.
So we're like we're only. Let's make his day worse.
Let's put a couch behind this. Oh my God, and one time we stole
one of those giant like big circle cones that you see on the
side of highways that sometimes are filled with concrete or

(54:19):
water. Those shits are heavy as fuck.
You know what, we move that shit.
Honestly, if I could go back to high school and realize how much
I was the Hulk like I wish I hadthat strength today.
Right, my shoulders and my arm muscles were fucking batshit,
but we his car was unlocked so we.

(54:39):
Just the cone. In the back seat.
But his mom was taking his car the next day to work.
So she goes outside at like 6:00AM because she's a doctor, and
she gets in the car and just sees a giant cone in the back
seat and she's like. Those things are bigger than
they look when you pass them on the highway.
You're like me. It's minuscule when you carry 1.

(55:00):
Like you can't even wrap your arms around it.
It was. Yeah, it was the size of Adrian
and. It was literally a chode.
Literally, it wasn't. Literally a chode.
But I mean the girth is where itmatters.
The girthy cone. Remember that photo of her in
the yearbook where she's she would kill us for showing this,

(55:21):
where she's like head butting a soccer ball and she's like.
Yes, my favorite soccer story because Adrian played varsity
soccer in high school. Adrian was the best soccer
player ever and she does have a scholarship.
People should donate to it. She does.
They do it once a year now. It's the Adrian Memorial Soccer
Scholarship and it goes to a senior who is going to college

(55:44):
for soccer. She was a striker, she was a
rock star, like Adrian was the best soccer player.
She beat the district record foramount of goals in a season or
per a player, I can't remember which one, our senior year of
high school, which I was like, yeah, that's our best.
I'm like go aids babes. But my favorite soccer story of

(56:04):
her is they were playing some like asshole team and this girl
ran over to Adrian because Adrian was about to score.
And the girl took both hands theback of Adrian's jersey and like
threw her down, no flag, no flag.
And so Adrian was also pissed. So like a few minutes later,

(56:24):
that same girl runs by Adrian. Adrian sprints up to her and
just kicks her in the back of the shit.
And. Immediately got a red card and
her she like she walks off the field and her coach at the time
was like, you know what? I can't even be mad like.
That's so her honestly. Like she deserved it.

(56:47):
She deserves it. Our feisty little lion.
She was feisty. Hell yeah, she was.
She was also like, I wouldn't say a people pleaser, but she
was just so nice to everyone that she probably had like 15
people that called her their best friend.
And she's like, she's like, yeah, they're nice, but like, I

(57:09):
don't think they're my best friend.
And. I'm like, right, because we're
your best friend. Yeah, I'm like, don't worry, we
know. Like it's badge forever.
So we talk about how I got banned from Tinder for posting a
spicy photo. So Adrienne has this photo on
her Instagram and she's like jumping on this mountain and it

(57:30):
says like, get your ass into nature or something.
Like that or not free or something.
Like I feel free get your ass into nature and it's very
aesthetic. So I just recently took some
nude photos out in the snow. 1 is like my booty and I'm like,
it's just my booty like peace sign throwing it up.
And one is me like sitting on this snowy ass rock with like

(57:51):
only wearing earmuffs. And I posted that on Tinder, I
got blocked for it, I posted it on my Instagram, and I
eventually deleted it because mymom was like upset or whatever.
But honestly, looking back at that post, like Adrian was maybe
24. Also, Adrian is not like a curvy
person. She's a very athletic body.

(58:13):
So me posting it at 30 with my not athletic body, like I'm a
curvy, I'm a curvy girl. Like I got curves in the right
places and it's very obvious. I was like even the intent of
this was not to be slutty. Like it looks fucking slutty.
Well, Adrian had a booty for days because she was an athletic
person, but her boobs were inverted.

(58:35):
She had none. Yeah, but she still pierced
them. Yeah, all three have pierced
nipples. Fun fact.
Fun fact, but. Adrian and I went together to
get our nipples pierced and. See, I don't.
I never go with anyone. I have to go alone.
I've convinced so many people toget their nipples pierced that
I've gone with so many people. I, I got Ili's nipples re

(58:56):
pierced because you remember shegot dumped and her ex said they
tasted like Bo. So she, she took her nipple
piercings out. And as a parting gift before I
moved to Nashville, I was like, I'm going to pay for you to get
your nipples re pierced. Hell yeah.
And we did it. We did it.

(59:17):
Hooray. Adrian and I went to ancient art
and it was when Vicki was still there.
Oh, ancient art. Yeah, that's where I got mine
done the first time. Honestly, when they Pierce your
nipple, it's a fucking hook. It's not straight.
It's like a was yours a hook? Mine was straight.
Oh no, mine may use like a like.It looks like a fish hook, like

(59:38):
it was a curved. No, mine was a straight needle
and they just like clamp push through.
I don't know who fucking CaptainHook, Jack Sparrow bullshit you
got, but I remember when Adrian and I went because I have much
bigger titties than Adrian does.And the lady was like, OK, take

(01:00:00):
off your shirt so I can measure your nipples.
She measures Adrian's first. Adrian has, like, the tiniest
bar. And then she looks at my titties
and she goes, oh, yeah, you're going to need the big bar and,
like, takes out the biggest bar they have.
And I was like, well, all right,then.
And then, of course, Adrian almost pussied out because I was
like, OK, I'll go first. Like, I'll show you.
It's not that bad. And then?

(01:00:22):
Major's like, well, I don't know, I said.
You better sit. You better mother fucking chair.
No, well hear me out. So the first one feels great.
Adrenaline, adrenaline, adrenaline.
Like you don't feel a thing. The second one fucking hurts
because the adrenaline has been gone.
But like I believe that boobs should be symmetrical.
Yeah, absolutely. People who only get one of them

(01:00:44):
like girls. That only have one boob pierced.
It's like, girl, what like. I don't like that.
No, like you have one clip Pierce that sure, but like don't
like Pierce one boob like boobs should be like.
Wow, wow. Like if you have one, you need
the other. It's a duo.
Absolutely. I I almost got my clip pierced

(01:01:05):
after I got my I was really close to doing it but then I was
researching it and it's like a if they Pierce it wrong you will
lose like all sensitivity in your clit and you can't have
orgasms. And I was like, I am not taking
that chance. That is a risk.
That is a risk I'm not willing to take.
Your mom is so invested in your orgasms that it is like, maybe

(01:01:28):
it's healthy. It feels a little unhealthy to
me. But Prince's mom was like.
It's a little overbearing. I would.
Say that her mom was asking her if Mr. W gives her orgasms.
Yeah, I was laying in bed minding my own business 1
morning and my mom walks into myroom and she lays in bed and

(01:01:48):
she's like, I have an important question for you.
And I was like, oh, fuck, OK, here we go.
What do you want? And she was like, so do does Mr.
W give you a good, not just an orgasm, a good orgasm every time
you guys have sex. And I was like, mom, are you
fucking getting me? She was like, it's an important
thing to talk about. I said, yes, our sex life is

(01:02:11):
very healthy. Yes, he gives me a good orgasm
every time we have sex. She goes, oh, good.
Because if a man doesn't can't give you a good orgasm every
time you have sex and the relationship is doomed from the
start. And I was like damn OK.
Which I mean my mom has been married for 45 years and has 11
children so she probably knows alittle something something about

(01:02:33):
that. And she also did this to my
sister-in-law. When my sister-in-law married my
brother like 15 years ago, she pulled her aside before her
wedding day and talked to her about sex and was like, you
know, make sure you pee after sex.
Like all of this stuff. She taught my sister-in-law
about oral sex. Mind you, this is my mother

(01:02:55):
telling my sister-in-law, who ismarrying my brother, her son,
and she's telling my sister-in-law how to give a
fucking blowjob. I mean, does she need to be
educated? I don't, I mean I would assume
not like, do you? Think that your son, her son
came to her and he was like mom,my future wife can't give me ABJ

(01:03:16):
and Marianne took it upon herself and she was just like
this is how you do it girl bound.
No, I do not think that's what happened.
But my mom just she doesn't haveany filter whatsoever.
She says what comes to her head and it's never in like a
malicious way. It's always in a She wants to

(01:03:41):
make sure that you have all the tools in your toolbox to make
it. Vicky, did your parents ever
give you a sex talk? I feel like no.
No. I didn't think so by the.
Time they thought I wouldn't have sex for a long time and
then so my mom thinks that I lost sex.
I mean sex. I lost my virginity to my high

(01:04:03):
school boyfriend until I told her recently that.
That was not the case. Right.
And at the time I was like, oh, I'm worried about pregnancy and
blah blah, blah. Like there was no sex talk
because they were like not expecting it for a while.
But my mom finally asked me if IAnother good Marian story for
you. But my mom asked me if I was a

(01:04:24):
virgin. I lied to her and told her I had
lost it to my high school boyfriend.
But I had already had sex with two different two other people
at the time. And then she's like, oh, did you
guys use a condom? Because I wasn't on birth
control? So I said yes we did.
And she was like having sex witha condom feels like fucking a
balloon. I'm 17 at the time and I'm in

(01:04:47):
the car with her and I just turned and looked at her and I
was just like, Oh yeah, mom, like, Oh my God.
OK, so to go back to Episode 2 last week we talked a lot about
micro penises. And small Dicks, small Dicks,
small Dicks, small Dicks. One of our listeners sent in.

(01:05:09):
A. Very funny story.
Hold on let me see if I can findit.
About a micro penis encounter she had in college and it is
wild. It had me screaming OK so this
is how she goes. I remember him being so small I

(01:05:30):
could fit his Dick and both balls in my mouth.
And one time after a party I wassober because I wasn't drinking
but then decided to get blackoutdrunk after we had and then we
had sex but I had a tampon in 'cause I was on my period and
neither of us noticed. dot dot dot dot dot.
So I woke up the next morning and was like damn I think I had

(01:05:52):
a tampon in last night and I don't remember taking it out.
Dot dot dot dot dot And sure enough, I had to go fishing for
my tampon. I know someone who fucked with a
tampon in and it got like stuck up there and then they put
another one in and this person pulled out like 3 at once.

(01:06:15):
It's like they just kept coming.How did they not need to go to
the emergency room? I have no idea like.
You know. Like when the magicians that
pull the things out of the hat and it's like that she just kept
finding them and like. That's wild.

(01:06:39):
It is so wild, like things can get lost up there.
I believe it, I believe it, whatever.
Anyways, back to our main topic,which grief, of course, you
know, losing Adrian, it definitely hit us hard.
If you were around us for that first year or two, it was.

(01:06:59):
Rough. It was a rough time, but I think
we've grown a lot from it. I feel like you can tell just
from episodes 1-2 and three already, and especially from the
memories we've shared and how it's brought Vicki and I closer
and it's just, it's something we'll never forget.
I mean, we're always going to bebadge no matter.

(01:07:22):
Badge forever. Yes, no matter where Adrian is.
But we miss her. Exactly.
It's a tough subject to talk about, but it's when we all face
in different ways and sometimes it's through those losses that
we learn the most about ourselves and each other.
I believe that Adrian is the reason I am free today.

(01:07:47):
Like my ex when she died, first and foremost, he never liked
her. He never liked her.
If she had been alive when I gotengaged, it never would have
happened. And I was in a vulnerable state
when I got married. And right before I was about to
move to Nashville, I went back to my hometown.
I was like, I want to visit her.And he was like, fuck her.

(01:08:08):
I'm just like, he apologized fora later later.
But I'm just like, that is the most cruel thing a person can
do. But we've trauma bonded, have
we? And we've laughed and probably
scared a few of you away. Speaking of, we've noticed some

(01:08:29):
of you have unfollowed us on Instagram, so how dare you?
I know we went from 2:06 to 2:05so whoever the fuck you are.
You better fucking refollow us, bitch.
We'll. Find you and we will make you
follow us. We will break into your phone
and we will make you refollow us.
Yeah. You're probably not a micro

(01:08:50):
penis and you decided on follow because of your insecurities.
And you know what? That's not our problem, boyo.
Yeah, maybe fix your Dick. Yeah, do better.
Do better anyways, we hope you felt a little less alone

(01:09:13):
listening to this and maybe you know, shared a laugh or two and
as we share our stories with you, it's.
I am alone. I am alone.
No you're not bitch. You have me.
How dare you you? Remember when I said I was going
to drink responsibly? Another bottle down.
Another bottle down. Let the bodies hit the floor.

(01:09:35):
Let the bodies hit the floor. OK, so thank you for coming to
your secret safe with a If you love us, like subscribe, follow
podcast is on Apple, Spotify andAmazon and.

(01:09:55):
YouTube. And YouTube.
Oh, we're everywhere. We're everywhere because we're.
All in this together, bum bum bum.
But anyways, we hope you come back.
But I got the vibe it's giving Zac Efron.
I love Zac Efron, but next week we're going to flip the script.

(01:10:17):
Well, not next week. In two weeks we're going to flip
the script a little bit because we're going to talk about
threesomes and favorite trios. So if you if you have a good
threesome story, or maybe you and two of your girlfriends or
two of you and your two best friends have good funny trio
stories, DM us. Let us know.

(01:10:39):
Slide into those DMS, send us those stories.
Because 3 is never a crowd and we want to get weird.
Someones yucks might be your yums is all I'm going to say.
IA listener reached out today because they have some stories
they want to share and I was like tell us whatever you're
comfortable with. We listen and we don't judge.
We will not yuck your Yum because what you like may not be

(01:11:01):
but what I like but but it may be what someone else likes and
maybe by listening to this they can feel more secure and what
their kinks are and what they like.
Embrace your kinks honestly likeif someone does not match your
energy like get the fuck on likeit will not work out like 20
year old meme was like, oh you know what I don't need good

(01:11:24):
Dick. I don't need to have an orgasm
whatever. Like I'll be cut him off.
Cut him off because your secretssafe with a unless it's too
funny not to share. Be sure to like us.
Follow us. Subscribe.
Share your stories. Subscribe.
So until next time. Hell yeah, Illy.

(01:11:46):
Illy bye. Beetlejuice.
Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice.
Stop. OK, but anyways, please are you

(01:12:13):
done? Yeah.
One more for good measure. Room for one more room.
For one more. You are my.