Episode 4: Three's Never a Crowd

Ever found yourself in a threesome, waking up mid-cuddle wondering how you got there? In this week’s episode of Your Secret’s Safe With A, we’re diving deep into the wild world of trio dynamics—whether it’s friendships, flings, or full-on thruples.

From spicy stories about vibrating nipple clamps and unexpected p*nis pumps to emotional confessions and threesomes gone hilariously wrong, we’re sharing it all. Plus, we’re talking about the real stuff—how feelings sneak in, boundaries get blurred, and why communication is everything (especially when there are more than two people involved).

Grab your headphones—this one’s juicy. 👀

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Coming coming to you live from my uncircumcised penis.
Yeah, I'm the hoodie up it's giving uncircumcised.
Maybe, maybe I'll, maybe I'll pop out later today.
Yeah, maybe. We haven't done this in so long

(00:25):
because we were doing so good, like filming in advance and then
I got the flu and then you got the flu and this was supposed to
be our in person episode and I'mso sad we're not together.
No, me too. Jesus, I know.
I last week I was like, no, I'm gonna, I'm gonna make it to

(00:46):
Nashville. Maybe I'll feel better on Friday
that I'm laying in bed on Friday.
I was like, if I get in a car for six hours right now, I'm
gonna fucking crash and kill myself so.
No shot, you're like wishful thinking but.
I know I was like so determined,OK.
Also, what do you think about this sweater?

(01:08):
I like it. I meant to tell you that.
Isn't it cute as shit So modern soul.
It's based in Richmond VA, they're online only woman owned.
Please link them here by all of her stuff.
That's the only good thing that came out of my marriage is his
cousin who has a fabulous boutique so.

(01:28):
One of my favorite leather jackets is from there.
Every time I wear it, people arelike, that jacket is such a
vibe. I'm like Madden Soul in
Richmond. I don't think she still has it
because it's from last season, last year's.
Sometimes she restocks. I'm like, hey, you remember that
dress from three years ago that I'm obsessed with?
I want another one. Also, I just want to preface

(01:51):
this podcast by saying any and all stories that you hear on the
podcast today are in the past. They're in the past.
I am exclusive. Big news for Vicks.
I don't have to scream like that.

(02:11):
Yeah. So I'm seeing one person
exclusively for the first time since I got separated.
I know and. But no, me and Mr. Spreadsheet
are exclusive. I love that so much.
How did the conversation happen?Which conversation?
Exclusively. Oh my God, this is perfect.

(02:35):
No, because I had someone message me the other day and she
was like, maybe you can talk about on your podcast getting
asked for advice because she's like, how and when do I bring up
being the being exclusive conversation?
And I was like, well, first of all, remember, if you don't know
them that well, you don't owe them anything.
Right. And second of all, I was like, I

(02:56):
would wait like a few weeks justto see like, do you truly like
this person? Do you want to be exclusive with
this person? Is it going well?
Are you going on dates? Are you vibing?
And if yes then broach the topic.
But how did you guys do it? So, well, first, when we were in
Mexico City together, we made a pact to delete all of our dating

(03:17):
apps at the same time. So that happened, He deleted
his, I deleted mine. And we both agreed like, no,
we're only going to talk to eachother.
And then the last time he was inNashville, he was like, so we're
exclusive. And I was like, yeah.
And I was like, what does that mean?
Because I've never, I've never had someone ask me that.
It's always been like, hey, justmove in with me and be my

(03:39):
girlfriend and then my wife and rushed all of your life
decisions. But we're exclusive.
I taught a Jazzercise class and he came to the class and at the
beginning of the class I told them that my boyfriend was going
to come. We are not official.
We are not official yet. Bitch, we.
Both know that's coming this weekend.

(04:00):
Paulie's you're. Going to a wedding with him.
No, we're exclusive and I'm onlyseeing him, only talking to him.
But no, I, I call him my boyfriend because I don't know
how you explain to 60 year old women, like 30 of them in a
jazzercise class. This is my man friend that isn't
my boyfriend. But we're only having sex with

(04:20):
each other and he lives in Virginia and we randomly decided
to go to Mexico City for a week and now it's kind of serious,
but not like you can't say that.Oh yeah, it was so cute.
They all like cheered when he came into the class.
That's so cute. Yeah.

(04:41):
And then he sent me a like photoafter the class and it's me like
stretching. And he's like this position
later and I'm like, This is why we vibe.
I. I guess I didn't finish the
exclusive question. Oh yeah, not an expert because
obviously until this moment I'venever been exclusive.

(05:13):
But I know it's funny. It's like I always want to be
with him and it's the first timeI've actually taken it
seriously. But you know, so is everything.
As he should, Queen. Wait, so was he just like one
day? Like, yeah, I'm not seeing
anyone else and you're not seeing anyone else.
Honestly, I don't remember. I think I was kind of drunk when

(05:34):
he asked me. But like I literally I messaged
him yesterday and I was like onemonth of just your Dick and he
was like great. I was like, that probably came
off wrong, but this is a big accomplishment for me.
No, what am I, friends that I saw the other weekend?
She was like, how's Vicki doing?Like with everything?
I said, oh, she's doing great. She is thriving.

(05:57):
I was telling her about you and spreadsheet man and cuz she
knows your history and she was like she was like oh wait, who
is he? And I was like wow.
I was like she deleted her app. She's like not talking to anyone
else. I was like, she's really into
this one guy. And they were like.
They were like, I'm so proud of her.
Me too. It's like a monumental moment.

(06:20):
You got fans out there just. Like I got fans, everyone
supports Mr. Spreadsheet, all mydads are size.
Ladies are like, Oh my gosh, he's so cute.
And they're like, he's so nice. And he came to the class.
I was like, yeah, next time he'sgoing to take the class.
There's a couple of women that their husbands take class with
them and honestly, they crush it.
But yeah, he's going to have to take a class.

(06:42):
I would love to see that. I just want to show everyone the
most beautiful bouquet of flowers I've ever received in my
life. They're so pretty.
They're so pretty and they got dropped off at the office where
I live and they knew that I'd been sick with the flu.
And one of the employees was like, hey, someone said

(07:03):
Victoria, get well soon flowers.And someone else was like, Nope,
bitch. These are these are like, I love
these flowers. Well, actually.
Meanwhile, she had like a package of wrapped roses from
the grocery store on her desk. And I'm like, I have this
luxurious, beautiful bouquet. My bouquet is currently on the

(07:25):
floor because I didn't have roomon my desk.
Is that cute? Yeah.
Let me see yours. Hold on.
Us committed women in our flowers.
Here she is. Oh, it's so pretty.
And it came with a little teddy bear and a box of chocolates.
Heck. Yeah, Heck yeah.

(07:47):
It was on like the, you know, the foyer in my parents house.
It was, it was on that and I waslike dying in bed upstairs.
And then I checked my phone and my mom had taken a picture of it
because the card is like happy Valentine's Day, babe.
Hope you feel better. I love you.
And so my mom sent it into my family group chat and she goes,
oh, Grace is a babe. And she got Valentine's Day

(08:11):
flowers And all my sisters were like, I was like.
Fuck all of you. I'm like, my card made me cry.
It said. You deserve this and so much
more. Hey, you're so cute.
I love it. Yeah, we're to Lulu.
I love being delusional. My I told you this, but my

(08:32):
sister-in-law, she was listeningto I think episode 2 where you
talk about the per the dude thatlike took out your.
Neighboring. Earth control.
And she was like, that shit makes me livid.
I said yes, I have a long list of men that I would just love to
talk to for Vicki's sake, but I won't and I would end up in

(08:53):
prison. Yeah, you, you support me more
than I support me. I know.
I'm working on it. Anyways, let's.
Get into it. All right, let's get into topic.
Topic 4. What is this?
Episode 4 of topic four? Topic 4.
No topic. I mean episode 4 Topic 3

(09:17):
threesomes. Welcome back to your Secret safe
with a I'm Grace, And today we're diving into the wild,
messy, sometimes beautiful worldof threesomes, trios, everything
in between. But you know, sometimes 3 is not
a crowd. Definitely not in the badge

(09:38):
world. It was always 3 Ayo Ayo.
This episode was dedicated to Adrian RA, so we're no longer a
threesome. But today we are going to talk
about threesomes. Absolutely.
We have some. I mean, Vicki's got some wild
stories. These are all about me.
These are submitted, and these are submitted by anonymous

(10:00):
listeners. These are not just my threesome
stories. I know that.
And if you would have let it. Oh.
My God. Literally.
If you would have let me. Finish my thought.
I would have said Vicki's stories and listener stories.
Theresa, have you never had a threesome?
No, the closest threesome I've ever had was when we were in
high school. Well, I guess technically we

(10:21):
were out of high school at that point, but yeah, it was with you
when we had a little orgy shower.
OK, right, right. I mean like I'm.
That was a sixsome. Right.
Right. I've like I when I was younger,
I wanted to do a threesome because, you know, try
everything once type mentality, right?
But now that I'm like, older andMr. W and I have talked about it

(10:45):
because he turned 40 last year and I was like, oh, I'm going to
give you a threesome for your birthday.
And then he was like, yeah. And then he was like, I really
don't want one. I said bitch, that's fine.
I don't want one either. I know myself I will get way too
jealous. I will fight a bitch if she's
trying to have a threesome with my man so.
That is that makes me think of an episode of Sex in the City

(11:06):
where Samantha is Richard a threesome and she invites this
super young Hostess from one of their favorite restaurants.
And she gets in there and Samantha gets jealous and
ultimately, like pushes this girl off the bed.
And she got back up. And he was like, be gentle, Sam.
And the girl's like you tell herdaddy.

(11:28):
And it's like the last thing he wanted was to feel older for his
birthday. And he was like, OK, get rid of
her. Yeah, she like shoves her off
the bed. That would.
I'm Samantha in that where I'm like, no, this is my man.
I'm like, I feel like I'm I wantto be Samantha, but I'm actually
a good sharer in bed. There's.

(11:50):
Oh, I know. I'm, I'm very generous and
sometimes I'm like, you know what?
They need this more than I do. So I'm like, I'm comforting.
I don't think I've ever heard I'm the I'm the comfort in the
threesome. I am.
I mean, they're the guest, but like, sometimes I'm like these
poor women, they're neglected. Maybe they need a little bit of

(12:13):
love too. That's so nice of you.
It's very charitable. I mean, now I know you needed
the love too. And like, does it count as
cheating if you and your husbandwere having threesomes too?
No, it's not like he was only with my pussy.

(12:37):
No, I believe in charity. I believe in charity and one
time, the first time I had a threesome with my ex, it was
before we were dating this girl,a mutual friend of mine.
We hooked up whatever the next morning, woke up and he was
spooning her instead of me. Honestly, that that should have

(12:58):
just been a metaphor for the rest of your relationship.
Literally, but I remember the time initially being upset.
As you should. Yeah, but then afterwards I was
like, well, you know, this girl is about to get married to
someone that is kind of abusive towards her, so maybe she needed
the cuddles. I.
Never thought about that. I know and she married him, but

(13:20):
he doesn't know about the threesome, so we're not ever
gonna talk about it again. That's fucking why and.
It's got a message. From.
I'm not going to say from who, but you're to guess who it says.
Play with yourself during the pod.
Only I will know what you're doing.

(13:48):
Oh my God, what the Message him on Instagram.
Would be like, stay out of our recording time.
This is me time. No, he's so hot and he gets here
on Thursday night. Bow, chicka, bow, bow.
Oh. My Mr. Debbie and I are seeing

(14:09):
each other next week and it's the first time in like a month
and 1/2. How do you go that long?
It's. I've been mad at him about it
for the past month and a half but.
So you're going to see him for the first time in a month and a
half, and you're going to remindhim that you're pissed.
Like I fucking. Pissed at you, but we're going
to have a lot of sex anyways. And I cannot wait.

(14:33):
We're meeting in Charlotte. I'm very excited.
Anyway, tell me about your threesome story.
Grace, have a threesome story. Oh goodness.
OK, let's go back to being charitable.
So my first charitable threesomewas when I was a little upset
when my ex woke up spooning another girl.

(14:53):
But then I was like, you know what?
She's an abusive relationship. Like she probably needed to be
spooned more than I did. Whatever.
We'll let her have this one. We'll let her have this one
Exactly. The next time that I was super
charitable is my ex and I thought it would be a good idea
to have sex with a girl that he was seeing before he started
dating me. Great idea.

(15:15):
Great idea this. Girl also end up dating one of
his friends or hooked up with him.
Yeah, she was like an Eskimo, but the reason?
So she really did not like me, which I'm like, great idea, we
should fuck her together. What an awesome like decision on
my part. But she didn't like me because
she was seeing him and he was like, Oh no, like I don't want a

(15:38):
girlfriend. I don't want anything long term.
And then he meets this random ass bitch in DC on Tinder.
Q Vicki. And we were dating within a
week. Anyway, we hook up with this
girl and afterwards she's cryingto me and she's like Vicki.
I just, I really love him. Like this is my boyfriend at the
time. I'm like, I mean, I don't know

(15:58):
what to tell you. We live together.
I'm dating him. I was like, this is so like
drama. And I was like, get your girl.
Like I literally have to grab him and be like, she's crying
about you. This is a you issue.
Like can you go console her? That's so wild.
Hey your ex-girlfriend we decided to hook up with is
crying. Can you come?

(16:18):
Because she's so. You're like, can you come like
take care of her? He's like, you deal with it.
I'm like, it's your mess. I have, I mean, like out of all
the threesomes you guys had, like did another girl cry like
that or be like, oh, I think I'mfalling for him.
She was the only one that was like, oh I'm in love with him.
There was one that used to cut herself and during sex he was

(16:40):
like, it's not cool to cut yourself because she would cut
herself on her stomach and she was like riding him and like
that was very uncomfortable for everyone involved.
Hey, not to bring up how you've cut yourself and almost try to
kill yourself, but. Yeah, it's like while you're
riding my Dick. Let me just tell you that this
is not cool. And I can picture obviously I

(17:03):
know him very well. I can picture him doing that in
the middle of it too. And you and the girl probably
just being like. So like, are we going to keep
fucking or like, well, honestly,that's what most of my
threesomes with him were. It was like, oh, he's too drunk,
he's tapped out. And I'm like, girl, you want to
keep going? She's like, heck yeah.

(17:26):
Just because the guy can't hang doesn't mean we're not going to
have our fun. I love that so much.
I mean, yeah, it's not your fault that he can't get it up.
I cannot confirm or deny that statement.

(17:51):
I like I got so many threesomes where not so many but enough
where the guy got like, I don't know, shy or nervous.
Or yeah, they. Couldn't perform and they get
intimidated by it and then the girl and I are like, well, we're
still gonna get off and they'll like go to sleep on the couch,
find themselves. What's so weird at least like be

(18:12):
a cook and sit and watch or do something like don't just be
like OK have a good night. I'm charitable, they're the
guest guest star and my ex is the I I picture him.
Coming in like the mom from MeanGirls being like oh you girls

(18:32):
want anything? A drink, a condom.
Oh God love you. It's like.
Walk out. That's what I.
That's what I picture when I'm. Coming in with like a.
Tray of shit. It's more like, man, I drink too
much. I don't feel good.
I'm like, I'm sorry. You can't get a fucking boner.
Like get out or get out. I'm so sorry.
Yeah, yeah, but three's never a crowd.

(18:56):
Except sometimes it is. If the third is a what?
What's the under squeaky wheel? The squeaky wheel.
Do you know what I'm saying? I know the saying the squeaky
wheel gets the grease is that. What you're saying no, like what
is, what am I trying to say? It's going to come to me.

(19:17):
It's something very old fashioned.
Hold on, I'm going to, I'm goingto gander at Google.
Everybody take a second to pausebut it's squeaky wheel saying
when you can't perform. What's the answer?

(19:39):
It says squeaky wheel gets the grease means that the person who
complaints the loudest or draws the most attention to their
problem is the one most likely to get help, even if it's not a
serious issue. No, that's not the saying I'm
referencing. I don't, I don't know, man.
It's going to bug me. Maybe if I take out squeaky and

(20:08):
just say wheel saying when you can't perform spinning your
wheels. No, there was no spinning.
What is this? The wheel is going to turn.
OK, maybe it has nothing to do with the wheel.

(20:29):
Here. OK, let's take out wheel and
just say sayings when you can't perform.
It's like let down disappointment.
Sorry guys, we're taking a tangent into sayings.
When you can't perform. You might say things like I'm
just not feeling it today. I'm off my game, not my best.

(20:50):
Today I'm really struggling to get into the zone.
My body just isn't cooperating or I need to regroup and try.
Again, if a man. Said that to me in the middle of
sex because he couldn't get up and said sorry I need to regroup
and try again. I'd be like we can circle go
back to this never. I don't know, I mean, oh God,

(21:11):
I'm here. I am being charitable yet again
and I'm like I understand sometimes Dicks don't work but.
Absolutely. But like if your Dick doesn't
work like you best be getting your girl off another way or she
will find someone who will maybecut that.
This one says you couldn't kick a tire down a hill.

(21:32):
Fuck does that mean? I'm trying to think what I'm
thinking of three people one can't perform.
Like obviously they're like baggage, but that's not the word
I'm thinking of. Kick the can.
Down the road, No, I'm going to think of it one day.

(21:56):
Today just may not be that day. Like search like someone who
underperforms in a team project,it's like you got partnered with

(22:17):
the wrong person for the group project that like doesn't give
it away. Like that's that was that.
Pull it. Not pulling their weight,
slacking off, not contributing enough, being a free rider,
dragging the team down, not meeting expectations, falling
behind, lacking commitment, not carrying their share of the

(22:37):
workload. I don't think that's all of
that's accurate. I definitely carry the workload
like come on now. Of course, like.
We know when you said search sayings about a person
underperforming in a team project, it reminds me of those
memes where it's like describe amovie plot really badly and it's
something that you would just never guess.

(22:59):
That is like describe a threesome in a corporate speak.
This is supposed to be a three man team, however you are not
meeting expectations and participating in the workload
we're. Going to have to fire you.
Yeah, this isn't a coachable moment.

(23:20):
You cannot recover. Pop a Viagra.
If it still doesn't work, get out.
Which I mean if you need a Viagra at our young age of 3130.
No, I I mean, I believe there's a time and a place, especially
if you want to go for a long time.
True, yeah. Like don't be judging people who

(23:40):
take Viagra or Zialis or. Whatever nudging I'm just saying
damn that sucks if you already have to start taking it at like
in your in your early 30s. Yeah, you know, it's more of an
enhancer. Not because you need it, it's
because it would be fun. I'm going to wake up to a text

(24:02):
message on Monday that's going to say, guess what we did this
weekend? Oh, been there, done that.
Check the box. We enhanced.
Yeah, well, I mean, if you want to like party all night and then
party all night like. Where do you even get that if
you're not prescribed it? The black market.

(24:23):
Mexico City. That explains the couches that
were broken. Yeah, Mr. Spreadsheet would like
everyone to know that we broke 2couches in Mexico City and it
was worth my while. It was not like Homeboy with the
microscopic micro penis that tried fucking me so hard that he

(24:45):
broke the leg off my couch. I just like imagine this was.
Good broken couch sex. Good micro penis man.
I just picture him like humping you like a dog.
Oh yeah. But these, I was on top.
I was like, we going God, He's like, what?
What broken? I'm like, so do we keep going

(25:08):
Jesus Christ? You know, people say that girls
who drink whiskey are really hot.
Oh, people say that. We're really crazy.
I can't remember these people. You are hot.
You are hot and crazy. Well, I'm hot right now.

(25:30):
Like I'm a little sweaty. Am I wearing a bra?
I am. I had to.
I had to pull one on earlier because my titties were really
sweating. Pop Tamali.
I'm sweating. OK, Speaking of sweating.
OK. I need you to tell me about this
Red Room threesome you have because I'm I'm, I'm picturing

(25:55):
like Mr. Christian Grey 50 Shades type.
Yeah, kind of. So I've seen this guy twice,
once solo and once with another girl.
I did not know this girl. To this day, I do not know her
name. I just knew that I saw photos of

(26:16):
her. She saw photos of me.
He was like, we want to do this,let's do this.
I was like, great. So I went to his house and I've
done this more than once and I'mjust like, this is so
embarrassing. It's not embarrassing.
I'm just like no one judged me for this but.
We listen and we don't judge. We listen and we don't judge.

(26:39):
So he makes me sit on the porch naked before he lets me inside.
Like outside and like the cold. Like butt naked on my hands and
knees. Like waiting for him literally
is 50 chains of bread. God, yeah, I've done that three
times. But yeah, he's like, take your

(27:00):
clothes off, set them on the bench, like and like you're just
sitting there naked. And he has a ring door camera so
he can like. Hold on, is this in like a
neighborhood? At like 9:00 PM on a Wednesday.
You know his fucking neighbors are out there with binoculars.
Like what the fuck? Is Greg up to again?

(27:23):
I don't know. The Saints, Greg, That's what
we're going to call him. His name is not Greg.
But yeah, he's like just sittingnaked on the porch.
And when I'm ready for you again, to reiterate, this is all
in the past. This is all in the past anyway.
So I'm sitting naked on the porch as soon as I come in, like
I'm blindfolded, like immediately.
Like I've never even seen this person's face.
I know he's a real person because like, we're on social

(27:45):
media together, but I've never seen this person's face and.
You are wild. I immediately if he told me to
do that on the porch, Amelia would be like I'm out.
Oh no. I was like, I'm gonna do this
and I'm gonna do it again. But anyway.
Wild. Anyway so he takes me inside the

(28:07):
the other person is already there.
So one of her kinks is to like do chores and shit.
She literally like had a thong on and I had like my back to
him, right? So he took my blindfold off.
I was allowed to see her, but I wasn't allowed to see him.
She has headphones in and he's like, she can't hear you right
now. And she's like cleaning dishes
in a thong. And the thong is stretched up

(28:28):
over her shoulders. Like almost like, like he pulled
it like pain. Like she wanted the pain from,
like, the thong. Yeah.
So this girl I've never met in my life, it's just like in his
kitchen, cleaning dishes with her thong over her shoulders and
headphones in. That hurts Priscilla, man.

(28:48):
Yeah, So he has me like spankingher and like hitting her because
that's what she's into. And we go upstairs, I'm
blindfolded. They're both doing stuff to me.
Whatever. And then we flip and we're doing
stuff to her and again, like oneof her things is pain.
And he's like, you're going to slap her 10 times across the

(29:11):
face and each time it's going toget harder.
Oh my God, I did it. And then I was like, well, no, I
feel left out. So then they got to smack me 10
times across the face and I had bruises.
The. Next bitch.
But one time a dude slapped me during sex.
I fucking punched him in the face afterwards.

(29:33):
And said, don't you? Ever fucking do that to me
again. No, I kind of like it, but I'm
not going to tell you all everything because this is a
very raunchy story. But obviously lots of sex toys
were involved. There was a moment where we were
both in the shower and he was doing something.
She was both. I'm sure people have heard of a

(29:57):
golden shower, but Oh my God. And yeah, but afterwards.
So when you do like BDSM shit, like afterwards you're supposed
to do aftercare because the person can feel like really down

(30:17):
whatever. When it was just me and him, I
needed lots of aftercare. I was like a little low key
traumatized the first time I went through this experience.
But when it was me and her, I was kind of underwhelmed.
I was underwhelmed by the sex and like she was really rattled
afterwards. And I was just laying there and

(30:38):
I was like, can I go? And he's like, she needs a
little bit more time. And I was like, well, I don't
like, I'm going to leave. And afterwards, he was like, we
had such a great time, what did you think?
And I was like, I was kind of bored.
I guarantee that man. Greg has never heard that in his

(30:58):
life. I guarantee it.
I was like, I think it was better the first time for me.
I don't. But maybe it's like, because it
was so foreign for me the first time, the second time it's like
I knew more of what to expect. Yeah.
But I also think it was harder on me the first time, like it
was more pain for me the first time than it was the second

(31:19):
time. So you was it the same girl both
times? Oh no, the first time was just
me and him. Oh, OK.
Yeah, and then the second time he was like, I'm bringing
another girl. OK.
But no, they've been messaging me and they like want to do it
again and I'm like exclusive, exclusive also like you bored

(31:40):
me, like shame on you like. This isn't a ME problem.
This isn't a ME. Problem maybe if you guys had
done better and he's like, well,she really wants to please you
better this time and I was like,I mean, I get that, but
underwhelmed, underwhelmed been there, done that, checked it off
like. Text him back and just tell her
do better. Do better.

(32:01):
No, I'm going to read the message.
That should be our next merch. Do better, Do better.
I'm trying to find it. He said something to me the
other day that I was just like II couldn't even respond to it.
It was too much. He said you need to come over

(32:23):
soon. I was like, can't I'm dating
Mexico City, man. He said no sad face.
At least let me fuck you in the ass one time before you start
that like no can do. He said gonna make me beg.
That would be a turn of events. And I was like, yeah, begging
won't change the outcome. I really like this guy and I'm
committed to him, He said. Well, you know, I always respect

(32:44):
your boundaries when you decide to do that.
But if for some reason somethingchanges, I would really love to
hang out. And if you decide you wanted to
make me beg and take control, I would absolutely get on my knees
and beg for you. I mean, I was slapping this girl
like I'm I'm very much the submissive one in these types of

(33:06):
things. And maybe that's why it didn't
turn me on as much as because they were like, OK, you be the
aggressor. Yeah.
Not like I mean I'll hit a bitchall day, like don't get me
wrong, but like like does that make me cum?
No, I'll hit a bitch all day. Wait, so was that the first time

(33:28):
you ever were the aggressor in asituation like that?
Yeah. It's so funny to me because like
when we. Well, people.
Think of me as being like aggressive and everyday that's.
What I was just about to say, it's funny because like when we
go out and like when you've beensingle and you're flirting with
someone like you're, you're veryaggressive, like to the guy,

(33:50):
like I'm flirting with you like I want to have sex with you.
I want to go home with you tonight.
And then as soon as your clothesare off, you're like.
You're just like me. I'm.
Shy and it's so funny. To me, well now it's cuz I mean.
Spreadsheet man said this too. He's like, it's so interesting.
And this isn't the first time I've gotten this comment that

(34:11):
like in day-to-day life, like I'm a powerhouse like this
person who I had this threesome with and like the girl doing
chores at one point he wanted meto do that with one of those.
It's like a butt plug that's like like a hook that like, so
when you like, I'm, I'm not explaining this well.
He wanted me to do chores and shit and like there was like

(34:34):
some girl over. He's like, we're going to like
be in the hot tub and you're going to like wear nothing but
this hooked butt plug and like service drinks and it's going to
be like humiliating. Like some people have a
humiliation kink. I do not have a humiliation
kink. I'm like, I want it to hurt,
yes, but I don't want to like, like will you ever catch me
doing chores Like, no, maybe I'dbe married if I was doing chores

(34:56):
like. Woof.
But yeah, that would be the. Red Room threesome.
That was the last threesome I had, actually.
That's so wild. Damn.
Yeah, quite the experience. Happy I did it, checked it off

(35:17):
the box. I was about to say, you've
checked a lot. Of things off your box.
I'm so vanilla compared to you, it's so funny.
See but. I look vanilla.
What is that thing? It's like, oh.
It's like looks like a cinnamon roll.
Cinnamon roll would kill you. Looks like they would kill you
is a cinnamon roll. But it's like looks like would
kill you would kill you. Yeah, I'm like I.

(35:43):
I look like a cinnamon roll, but.
Every time I hook up with. Someone they're just like, like
clutch my pearls. They're just like, what?
Because I don't give off that vibe.
Yeah, I know. I think people probably expect
me to be freakier and I'm not, which is.

(36:05):
Funny like. I love my vanilla sex.
I mean it's not vanilla, but like compared to you it is.
Like I'm not. He's not giving me a.
Golden shower. Even though this man would
probably love to, would you let him?
No, I don't want to get peed. On we've talked about it and
every time like either we take ashower together or just like

(36:27):
something like that. I literally have like I've told
him, I'm like, you can basicallydo anything to me.
Like my only boundaries are you cannot come on my face because I
don't want it on my face. You don't let people come on.
Your face? No, he can come anywhere else.
He can cum in my mouth and my ass and my vagina all over my
body. I don't give a shit.

(36:48):
I don't want it on my face. I like being.
Degraded in that way, Yes, I know, bitch.
And. Then I don't want to.
Get peed on like those are my 2 boundaries.
That's all I. Have I'm not going to say 1
gross thing. I've had pee in my mouth.
Oh my God. OK, speaking about pee.

(37:08):
In the mouth I watched this TikTok story today and this girl
was recounting a listener story.So she some girl sent in a story
and the lady that sent in the story said that her husband
wanted to do pee play or like pee in her mouth or like do
something. And she was like, no, like I'm

(37:29):
not comfortable with that. I don't want to do that.
And he was like okay, whatever. And then she started noticing
that, like, her coffee and her smoothies and her food started
tasting weird. And she was like, maybe things
have just gone rotten. That's repulsive.
Like I started. Throwing things out, she was
like, what? The fuck is going on?
So she's telling her friend about it.

(37:49):
So her friend was like set up like a small camera maybe like
your husband's doing something. This man was peeing in her food
and drinks. That's why she's.
Like eating and drinking it. And.
So she like. Confronted him.
About it. And he was like, oh, it's just
like a kink of mine, blah blah blah.

(38:10):
And I'm like, that's biohazard poisoning.
Like she'd be sick from that if you spit.
It out real quick. She's ingesting it like.
One of them he put in her overnight oats.
This shit's marinating for 12 hours before she eats it.
See, I'm all about like, if you're into golden showers or

(38:31):
peeing in someone's whatever, like do it, but only with their
consent. Yes.
If anyone put that in my food and I found out about it, you
would never talk to me again. In fact, you would be in jail.
Absolutely. I would call the.
Police on you and you would go to jail for biohazard poisoning?
Yeah. No fucking thank you.
It's not that bad for the. Record, but I just.

(38:53):
I mean, would I want it in? My food, no, but like if you
wanna piss on my face and get a little in my mouth on occasion
like. What was that I?
Was joking. Mm hmm.
Oh my God. OK so I have a listener story.

(39:17):
This person and their wife, they're in a throuple and they
brought in a third and the thirdgot so it's a guy's wife and
then their third and the third is basically the wife's
boyfriend and OK, so this. Is an MMF.

(39:37):
Male, male, Female. Yes.
Yes, OK. And.
So they like messaged me and we're like, oh, I saw that you
were taking listener stories, you know, what do you want to
hear? I said anything you want.
We are open to anything. Whatever.
He's like, well, what about kinkplay, threesome, stuff like
that? I was like, well, that's
perfect. We're actually about to do an
episode on it. Yeah.

(39:57):
So he. Said it's very kink.
Related lifestyle for the past few years.
And I said and he was like, I don't know what level you want
to talk about it. I said, well we listen and we
don't judge. We don't yuck other people's
yums. So let us know anything.
And he? Said it's about cooking,
chastity and feminization. And I said, oh, we've actually
talked about cooking. And I said, OK, cooking first.

(40:20):
Like what about it? So they called the third a bull.
So your wife, she's had her bullfor a few months.
I see them, I've seen them a fewtimes engage their boyfriend,
girlfriend status and in the summer they might be moving in
with us. I'm referred to them both as
cookie until I'm dressed. I've gotten him hard with oral

(40:44):
and I've cleaned up his mess multiple times off and off.
Off slash from the Mistress, which is the wife, Yeah.
And I. Said OMG.
That's wild. How did you guys find a third?
He said that they've used a few adult profiles.
They have a more popular 1 worldwide, and I've used some of
the same photos to find someone local.

(41:06):
And I said, how did you guys know you liked this or you
wanted it? Do you think it's made your
relationship more intimate and strong?
Yeah, so he said. I have an account on something
like Facebook, but it's for fetishes.
Fetishes, which reminded me of the app that you said that
you've used before. Yeah, Field.
And this. Took a long.
Time to build through many phases.

(41:26):
It did help build our relationship stronger because it
makes us communicate more since the intimacy with her bull as
the intimacy with her bull grows.
And they've spoken about him being her second husband
essentially. Interesting.
And then? He said.
Are you interested in how the? Dynamic is and what it's like
being in a long term FLR which is female LED relationship and I

(41:50):
said I would love to hear about the dynamic and he said so they
both have ownership over me her more than him but his wife he's.
Like but I serve them. Both in whatever regards they
desire but she is his so I'm limited to the sexual aspects
with her. I he can only have sex with her.
I can only eat pussy or ass. And some of their meetups I'm

(42:12):
allowed to be in the room but only to fluff him or clean up
messes. If not I usually just get sent
videos or pictures and then depending on if he wears a
rubber I'll be present with thatto clean that up too.
But primarily I cook for them both.
If they want to have a date night, I make all the
reservations for them. And this is her husband.

(42:33):
Making these arrangements for her and her bull.
Yeah. And I know the.
Husband. Yeah, and he said he's certainly
more interested in degrading me than Mistress though.
And then the husband also has analter ego.
Mistress is the wife and she is also his Dom and key holder.
Interesting. I know.

(42:55):
And he was like, if you have anything else like, you're
always welcome to ask. Thanks for letting me share.
I hope it provides some where for your podcast.
I said absolutely. Episode 4 is about threesomes
and having a third. So this is perfect.
So I just thought it was like sointeresting because I'm always
interested in those dynamics, especially when they bring in a
third to a throuple like that communication with your like so

(43:19):
it's him and his wife, like withyour wife has to be so so.
Strong. Yeah, feel like otherwise it can
get very messy very fast, especially if they're going to
have the bull move in. I'm like, that's just wild.
I mean, that's crazy to me. I.
Don't I mean crazy? I mean, would I do it?
I mean, I definitely considered a non monogamous relationship

(43:40):
after the things I've been through because I didn't think
that one person could give it all to me.
But I'm also traditional in a sense that is it.
Something I could do long? Term no so like for me it's like
the threesome is like a one timething, couple time thing.
But like would that person ever live with me or anything like
that? No, I don't think I could date

(44:01):
someone who's a cock. I don't kink shame like I don't
yuck because Yum because I also like getting degraded.
I mean you guys just heard me talk about getting pissed in my
mouth and like Grace don't even let someone cum on her face.
So I'm just like. It just because but like.
Like, so let's go back to the threesome with the Red Room,
right? Yeah.
So he was the aggressor, and it's like he was the Dom and we

(44:24):
were both like Subs. But in that scenario, she was
more the sub than I was the sub.And I was asked to be more
dominant. And I think that's what turned
me off 'cause you don't want to be.
Dominant, you go. Correct, Correct, I go.
There to be the sub. That's just like.
I don't know, it's just wild to me because I couldn't imagine

(44:49):
bringing in because like with two people, communication can
already be so messy and stuff like that.
And like I'm a very jealous person.
And then bringing in a third, I just feel like it just adds
added aspect of just like haywireness to it.
I mean, and he said they've beendoing this for years.
So it's like, I mean, they had to.

(45:12):
Build so much. They had to build trust.
But I think also he gets something out of it too, yeah.
Like. Where it doesn't work is where
it's like, oh, she's doing this to please him because she's not
enough for whatever. Yeah, I mean, I think he's very
much enough for his wife. Otherwise she wouldn't be with
him. But if he gets off on her having

(45:33):
a bowl and doing all that, then so be it.
Like I've definitely had men that on field.
Would message. Me and they'd be like, you can
just cuck me out all day. I just want to watch you like
fuck people all day long. Like I'm not kidding.
I'm not kidding. That is a very normal like
fetish and thing that I'm just like, yeah.
That's great. But I'm more here for other

(45:54):
reasons. Like I mean, I only ever hung
out with two people off of that app.
One was the 62 year old and I kept blowing him off, blowing
him off, blowing him off. And then I had a really bad
phone call with my ex. And I was like, I'm having an
awful night. Like, I'm going to go hang out
with a 62 year old. And he was like, well, I already
have a girl with me. We're out for drinks, but she

(46:17):
would be down for, you know, some mutual play.
How about you come to the bar with us?
And we ended up at this very, like, fancy private club, like
having drinks. And he's like, I'm going to step
away for a little bit so the twoof you can talk.
She's very cool. Like, we are still friends to
this day. Like, very cool.
Very. Cool girl and like I.

(46:37):
Mean It was my first time meeting him.
It was my first time meeting her.
We had a threesome. Like there were times that they
were like, go sit on the chair and pleasure yourself until we
tell you to come over here. And I was like.
But but no. That was like a really good
threesome off a field. Yeah.

(46:58):
The only other person I hung outwith off a field was the weird
guy with the massage table. He was like, just come over and.
I'll give you a massage and get naked and.
Like lay on this massage table and he literally broke out a
massage table. He didn't have a single TV in
his apartment. All he had was books.
I mean, I met him in the parkinglot first.

(47:19):
So I mean, that's pretty safe. Before I like went inside the
apartment, I thought you were about to say I met him in a
parking lot and I was like, wait, what?
No. That's just Uber drivers.
Oh my God. But no the massage table guy.
Was weird. And afterwards he was like, I

(47:39):
don't think there's a connectionthat was like, was it because
your Dick was small and you werejust like running me down on
this table? Like really putting some elbow
grease in there? Literally like he was like just
get naked and I was like. Can you put some spa music on

(48:00):
while we're here? Well, I mean.
OK, So what? His apartment was not that nice.
Here we go back to these poor men.
I'm like, I, I can't be in your poor phase.
Phil. Those are trash apartment.
Yikes. Yikes.
But no, it wasn't that nice and he didn't even turn off the
lights. But it was also poor lighting
because it was a poor apartment.And I remember you didn't even

(48:23):
have to. Living in this very.
Like dimly lit like kind of dirty apartment on some random
man's massage table. Mitch, you probably got tetanus.
Or hepatitis from that apartment.
Nope. Nope.
Nope. Nope.
Nope. No, he honestly, he was
respectful. He was like, I'm going to wear a

(48:44):
condom. No hepatitis.
Like the infection not I understand.
But like, I was like, what is it?
I don't believe that if if you're, you know, if you're
someone who insists on wearing acondom, there is not hepatitis
in your apartment. Oh, OK.
Alright, do you see the logic? Yes, I wasn't.
Understanding where you were coming from.

(49:04):
And I was like, I'm saying the apartment's dirty, not he's
dirty well. Two condoms of 60.
People, why did you? Sing you like that.
Honestly, I mean, I was kind of.Offended, but I mean not a bad

(49:28):
choice. 2 of 60 people the way you said.
It you this is I've noticed you've done this in other
episodes when you're about to say something common
traumatizing, you start to sing it right because.
Like if it's a musical, it's like it's not real life.

(49:49):
It's like when you're. Like if I spell SEX and I didn't
have it, I'm like, yeah, that's that long district.
It doesn't. Count.
We're all in this together for sure.
If I try to sing right now, it's.
Broke. I'm not ashamed of my body
count. You shouldn't be.
I wish I still. Knew what mine was.

(50:09):
OK, I'm an anomaly. Satan was blessing.
You, Satan, is blessing me because.
They were like, you just suffered through hell for eight
years, so we're going to let youfuck as many people as you want
without getting an STD. They were like you get a.
Year free trial. Oh God, I'm like babe, if

(50:34):
you're. Hearing this, I'm only for you.
I'm only for you. We had a sexy video orgasm last
night. Oh, that's cute.
Well, I'm. Finally done bleeding to death.
After my like flu period I started.
Off period yesterday. Wait, are you done having a
miscarriage? Yeah, it was not a miscarriage.
I peed on a stick. It was not a miscarriage.

(50:55):
It was just clotted blood and mybody dying for, But no.
So I called my doctor and I was like, this is what's happening.
And they were like, yeah, I would go to the emergency room
and I'm like, I really don't have time for this.
So I did not go to the emergencyroom.
I don't have time or money for this.
And anyway, today I called Teledoc because I'm like, hey,

(51:17):
by the way, I bled through my Nuva ring.
I had a period after like I had a period a week and a half ago
and I just bled for eight days straight because I had the flu
and it was awful. And I need a new Nuva ring and
he was like, no problem, I'll fill it.
And then my insurance denied it because only one birth control
form a month. And I told spreadsheet man, I

(51:38):
was like, it's an anal only weekend.
Like I don't, I don't know what to tell you either that or like
pull out or cum on my face or something.
He's on board. But I was like, hey, I just I
we're to Lulu, but not I'm not to Lulu enough to have your baby
yet. So.
Oh my God. I.
Panicked the other day because Iwas like Oh my God, what if I

(52:00):
what if I'm pregnant? And then I started my period
yesterday and I was like, oh thank God.
Well, no, I read about it the flu, like yes, it can mess up
your hormones, but it's like usually you don't have a period.
And I'm like, what about like hemorrhaging?
What about almost dying? Yeah, I don't know.
I mean I. Didn't I didn't read this was a

(52:21):
flu symptom. I told my mom and she was like,
are you having a miscarriage? I was like, I don't know.
I'm going to go pee on a stick because I always keep a
pregnancy test and a Plan B on sock at all times.
I don't have a Plan B but. That's because I have my IUD but
I always doesn't matter also. Nuva rings are apparently only
91% effective. Mr. Spreadsheet and told me
that. Damn.

(52:42):
But I mean. 60 guys, 2 condoms, no STD's, no pregnancies.
Your girl is blessed. I mean I had a nuva ring for
the. Longest time and it's the only
thing that doesn't fuck. Up my hormones.
Because I went from the pill to the.
Nuva ring to the IUD because I got because I kept forgetting to
take my pill every day. Then I just didn't like taking

(53:03):
it in and out every month and then I was like, fuck it, I'm
going to do an IUD. I'm going to wrap this baby up
for the next six years, which which is wild because I think
next February I have a year leftat this IUD.
You're going to take it out in here and a.
Half Mr. WS second kid. Fuck no, I'm fucking.
Not I want to get my tubes tied so badly.

(53:25):
And he like will joke about a vasectomy sometimes and I'm
like, can we not joke about that?
Can you actually go do that? That would be great, thank you.
See, I would have spreadsheets. Babies.
I wouldn't have my ex husband's babies but this bitch literally.
Texted me the other day and was like, we've decided that we're
going to have two to three kids.I was like, oh.

(53:45):
OK, said I. Said he wants two to three kids
and I would give them to him. That's different.
That's basically the same. Same thing are.
You kidding me? Fucking dumb bitch.
It is. Not the same.
Thing I just I was agreeing, notsuggesting.

(54:06):
Semantics. Submissive.
Oh my God. But no, I would have his.
Babies. He's amazing in every way.
That's I cannot. Believe that that you would have
kids. There's only two people I've

(54:28):
ever. Considered having kids for yeah
I know the other one. Yep, I'm glad we're done with
that face. Yeah, he's still blocked.
Good keep it though. I don't know, you know, it's
wild though. Speaking of exes, an ex of mine
messaging me and then hard launching his girlfriend the
next day. OK, she's 23.

(54:54):
I. Fucking laughed.
So hard I was like men will never fucking change.
I'm like, how about the fact that I'm?
Not legally divorced. He's been in denial since it
happened. Meanwhile he's telling everyone
that he kicked me out. I'm like, no, I'm going to take
that promotion that I had to turn down for you.
Twice. Twice.
He's also using the divorce. And like using you as his, like

(55:17):
I'm such a martyr and I'm a victim.
He I mean. Gosh, he's such a victim.
I'm like, I can't even believe it.
I was so cruel to him. He never did anything.
Wrong, Vicki. He never did anything.
Wrong and like he's just a mediocre white.
Man, that's never done anything wrong.
Yeah. Honestly, sometimes.

(55:41):
I pray for him and I apologize to him in my dreams because.
All right, say that with a straight.
Face No, I just I wish him well in hell.
I wish him well in hell well. So what's so funny is when I

(56:02):
asked for a divorce, one of the first things he said to me is he
was like, you know, there are somany people that are friends
that have worse marriages than us.
And he's like, I can't believe that we are not lasting.
And they are. And I was like, you know what
the difference is between me andthose women?
Why me and me don't have kids? 2, I make my own money.
I don't fucking need you three. I'm not going to be sad and

(56:26):
depressed. And like, I'm not saying all
these people have bad relationships.
Everyone has great relationships.
And like, quite honestly, it's judgmental of him to be like,
oh, these people's relationshipsare so much worse than ours.
I'm like, you don't see them every day.
No, you don't see them every day.
And like, maybe like look inwardand reflect on your own
relationship and worry about that.
Like at the end of the day, likeyou being like, oh, there's

(56:48):
worse. And then it be like, oh, you
know what I should say? Because ours is better.
And you know why? He says.
That it's because he only hangs out with the men who are like,
oh, my wife is nagging me to come home and hang out with the
kids and my wife is me. Yeah, it's like, maybe don't be.
Doing cocaine all night and staying out until 5:00 when
you're fucking married with a 5 year old, yeah.

(57:10):
Anyway. Like this is not a threesome
story, but I have to talk about the sex story.
So a friend of mine like years ago hooked up with this guy went
to bed whatever. The next morning she wakes up
and hears like a sound and this man is like penis pumping like
he has a penis pump on and he's like.

(57:33):
Trying to get hard and she's. Like what is happening?
He like grabs these vibrating nipple clamps and she's like, oh
this could be fun. And he puts them on himself.
She was like. OK, I'm gonna go.
And he tried to stop her, but hehad the penis pump on his Dick.
And as she was like about to exit the door, she heard the

(57:55):
like, like the should have been coming off his Dick while he was
trying to like be like hey come back.
She's like, do you even need me?For this.
Yeah, I know. She was like I left.
Immediately and I was like, I probably would have stayed for
the plot, but we know you would have stayed for the plot, bitch.

(58:17):
But you mimic the. Noise of like the.
Yeah. It's so wild.
I can commonly say I've. Never been with someone who had
to penis pump and I've never used a pussy pump like I don't
like. Have you seen those pornos where
they put it over your pussy and like it?

(58:37):
Literally makes your vagina. Look like so swollen and
diseased like I don't like. That.
Look it up after this. Wait, I'm going to look it up
right now. So you.
Can watch my reaction OK. Look up pussy pump.
Basically it looks like a fucking like suction cup and it
goes over your whole vagina. It goes over your whole vagina

(58:59):
and you pump air into it. And like it makes your.
Pussy look so fat, which I'm like, no one wants a fat pussy
anyway. Oh my.
God what the fuck? You really are vanilla.
You don't watch any? Do you watch any porn?
No, I don't like. Porn.

(59:21):
Yeah, me. Either I have in the past and.
I don't know, I just don't really like it.
This is well also. The image I looked at was.
Did I see it? Yeah, hold on now I have to.
Find it again is. It this one I.
Already know what it looks like so I've never done that.

(59:42):
I've never been with someone that's pumped.
What is the point of a pussy pump?
It's supposed to like. I have no idea.
I don't, I don't know really like medical answer for that,
but I think like you pump air and it like causes pressure and
it brings the blood to your clit.
Yeah, it draws blood into your. Labia and clitoris area so it

(01:00:03):
makes it more sensitive I mean. You and I are sensitive enough,
that's why we don't pussy pump. I mean, like sometimes I have a
hard time coming just because no, I'm OK.
Are you? OK, I have a difficult clit I.
Mean Mr. W does a fantastic job so like, I don't have an issue,
but sometimes Priscilla is very difficult and it makes me

(01:00:27):
annoyed. Like if I I get like whiskey
clit. What?
Yeah, you drank and it's harder.For you to come No, it's wild,
some of my. Friends like one of my friends
she's like, oh, I have like the most sensitive put in the world
she's like I come like five times during sex I'm like, that
is wild to me I wish I had that issue, but I.

(01:00:49):
Think it's also. Because of my SSRI's like when
I'm on one I definitely notice that my libido.
Goes down a. Little bit.
Well, no, this is a really. Good thing to talk about because
our next topic is mental health.Yes, for episode.
Five, we are going to dive into all things mental health and the

(01:01:11):
things Vicki and I have struggled with and how we have
to be medicated. Yeah, so I'm still.
Medicated. I'm on Zoloft.
I take 150 milligrams of Zoloft a day.
Damn, I'm only on 50. Yeah, so when?
I first started taking Zoloft. I lost my orgasm and I remember
telling my mom I was like, wouldI rather kill myself or have an

(01:01:32):
orgasm? And it was a very heavy debate.
It was a very heavy debate. I was like, you know, if I got
off of this, I might die, but atleast I would die half because
I'm having orgasms. I thought that to my mother, I
was like, you know, would I rather?
And I'm like, maybe don't say that to your mom.
Your mom is inappropriate to you.
I'm inappropriate to my mom. Oh my God, speaking.

(01:01:54):
Of my mom. Let's do a Marianne moment.
So I those of you who don't know, I currently live with my
parents and This is why I have so many wonderful stories with
my mother constantly. She was in the kitchen and I was
in the kitchen. I think she was making tea or
something and I'm like starting to walk out of the kitchen and
she's like, when was the last time you had a yeast infection?

(01:02:18):
I Does she get yeast infections?Can you get yeast infections
when you're 70? She's not 70.
She's like, my mom is 70. How old's your mom?
She's 60. 7. Roundup.
That's 70. Whatever.
Anyways, I turned and look. At her and I was like, I don't
know a long time. She's like I have a yeast

(01:02:42):
infection and I can't get rid ofit.
I was like go to the doctor and she's like probably these over
the counter meds aren't cutting it.
I was like, OK, goodnight. So.
Anyways, thank you for coming. My God, let me restart that.
Thank you for listening to. Another episode of Your Secret
Safe with a as Oh my God, let mestart this again.

(01:03:06):
Third time's a charm. Thank you for listening to
another episode of Your Secret Safe with a Hopefully we didn't
scare you away with all of the talk of threesomes, because
three's never a crowd, right, Vicki?
Right. And Vicki, what are we going to
talk about next week? We're going to talk.
About mental health and all those.

(01:03:27):
All those are wonderful things. If you guys haven't noticed a
pattern with our episodes, we kind of do.
It's like. Raunchy, sad.
Raunchy, sad. Yeah, Raunchy, raunchy.
Sad, yeah. Raunchy feelings.
Raunchy feelings, you know we got.
To mix it up, we got to make youlaugh, bring it down with us,

(01:03:47):
and then we build you back up. Yeah.
So this is. You.
This is also our mental health, yes.
It is a roller coaster ride. It is never an even line.
You know, we're like an EKG, just like boop, boop, boop,
boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, you know, So
Jazzercise. It's like high intensity

(01:04:08):
interval training. So it's like.
Anyways. Anyways.
Thank you for coming to your secret Save a make sure to
follow us like us subscribe we are on Spotify, Apple, YouTube,

(01:04:28):
Amazon. Yes.
Hey uncircumcised penis, can youcome out of your shell?
One moment, please. Here we go.
Here we go. Here we go, it's giving Dick
cheese. I can breathe and.

(01:04:57):
Hopefully for next episode, Vicki and I will not be
recovering from the fucking flu.This is a this is a healthy
penis. Wait, wait, wait.
We have to talk. About the the the hats like oh,
Oh yes. OK, we're about to do an.
We're about to do an auction. I'm like, it's like a raffle.

(01:05:17):
So Vicki and I bought merch and we have 9 hats available.
They are. We are going to do a giveaway
for two of the hats. We'll announce it on our
Instagram and then the other seven hats are for sale.
So if you want a hat, just let us know, DM us, text us,

(01:05:41):
whatever. Oh, show the back of it.
So it says your secret's safe with a.
It's our logo on the front and then it says on the back.
So. I want to share the shirt too.
I. Know it's not for sale yet but
it's so cute with the little like pants and tents on the

(01:06:01):
grave. Go get the shirt I.
Designed. We also made shirts, but we only
made 21 for Vicki, one for Gracefor right now because guys,
believe it or not, merch is expensive to get.
So, you know, if you want a hat,then no Vicki or I this.

(01:06:24):
Is the front. Says yes, Sir.
Yes. What?
Yes. What your secret safe with A and
then the back? The back.
It says your secret's safe with A and it's me and Grace dancing
on, dancing on Adrian's grave, on the grave.
We're like. Dancing with her, yeah, I mean,

(01:06:45):
but. Kind of.
Do you see the A on the grave though?
That makes it iconic. Yeah.
So you're. Really cute.
Highly. Recommend their comfort colors.
Yeah, comfort colors. But.
They're not for sale yet, so. Get us big so we can sell so we
can sell some. Merch.

(01:07:05):
But yeah, so 2. Hats will be in a giveaway and
then the other seven are for sale.
So and if you love us. You'll send us $100, They're
only $35.00, right, 3535, yeah, they're.
Only $35. But some of our listeners who
love us send us $100. If you want, we might send feet

(01:07:28):
pics with the hats for $100. Yeah.
You only get feed pics if you send us 100 for a hat.
So yeah, I guess we owe. Someone you're toes.
You're a dog. My dogs.
Hold on, no beastiality. This episode has gone off the

(01:07:58):
rails. Anyways.
Thank you our shirts. No.
Buy our hats. We our shirts aren't for sale
yet. Buy my hat.
OK. Anyways, let's thank you for
listening. Buy our merch.
We love you. We will talk to you in two
weeks. So Ellie.

(01:08:20):
Ellie, bye.