Episode 7: From Tattoos to Trauma: Growing Up and Moving On

In this episode of Your Secret's Safe With A, Grace and Vikki are back together in person and things are as chaotic as ever. They talk tattoos, from ink that celebrates friendship to ones with deeper meanings (including the infamous "sad toast"). Along the way, they share funny stories from their high school days, family drama, and how their understanding of mental health has evolved.

Plus, there's a special guest appearance! Tune in for laughs, real talk, and reflections on how far they've come, the awkward moments they've survived, and the growth they've gone through. Don't forget to donate to the Adrian Newcomb Memorial Scholarship; applications are due by April 12, 2025. You can donate and learn more here: Adrian Newcomb Memorial Scholarship.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
It's already going off the rails.
OK, Maine Squeeze, do you? Guys like our shirts.
Shout out Old Navy. Hell yeah.
Shout out Grace for the bra and the shirt.
So guys, we're recording together in person right now.
Can you believe it? Finally episode.
Seven episode 7 this is going tobe.

(00:24):
Chaotic. Chaotic.
I was going to say the drunk episode.
Like I really could use a shot. I'm just like, in a funk right
now. Oh my.
God, well, I have a whole bottleof wine for us.
Mine is not tequila. Do you guys see my nice little
Your secret save with a hat in the background?

(00:45):
If you love us, click the order link in our bio.
Hats are $35. You can Venmo me or Vicky, we
would appreciate it. Yeah, no one's bought a hat.
Except for one person. Yeah, and it was only because I
promised him feed and didn't putout.
And we did not deliver. That's fine.
That's OK. Thank you, Mr. Philly.

(01:06):
Man, we love you. Mr. Philly, man, we love you.
But I did. Send Ariel our giveaway hat.
Shout to Ariel for entering our giveaway and winning.
She lives in NYC so I better seethat hat.
Some really cool fucking places,bitch.
Heck yeah. I was told that for episode 6
that we just dived into it way too fast.
Yeah, people were like, we need a warning next time, like.

(01:28):
Need like a little warm up. One of my friends say you got to
warm up the oven before you put the pizza in.
Yeah, they were like, you forgotto Preheat the oven before you
dove right into last week's topic.
Grace and I are both sitting in shorts and matching shirts on
her bed. In my childhood bedroom, Yep I

(01:50):
have more windows in this bedroom although the closet
sucks more because my old bedroom I had a walk in closet
and this one is not a walk in closet and my clothes are
overflowing in there. Yeah, well, good thing you don't
really live here. True, I'm literally never here
and you know, since I'm moving away in September anyways, so.
Yeah, Grace is moving to a statethat will not be named, but it

(02:13):
starts with AW. So it's about two guesses.
She's gone to Wyoming. Oh, wait, 3 Washington,
Wisconsin, she said. I'm like 5.
Three states, 3 Pay attention tonothing.

(02:36):
Fucking geography. Dad, I didn't even think of
Washington. My bad.
Whoops. And then when you when I first
said two states, I don't know why, but in my brain I was like
Alaska. It might as.
Well be Alaska for being real I.Know I'm they're all very far

(02:59):
away from you and I'm sorry we have real no.
We have no agenda. For this episode, we just were
so excited that we were going tobe in person.
Oh, before we did this, we went to lunch with our moms for
Vicki's mom's birthday. Once again, shout out to Sandy.
Happy birthday. Happy 70th mom.
We love you so much. You can't watch the podcast.

(03:22):
You said you were going to and we said no.
And then I and then Oh my God. And then Sandy looks me straight
in the eye because she knows I'mthe evil 1 and goes why can't I
see anything from your podcast? And I was like.
Oh, she was like, yeah, I can't see anything from your podcast.
Why is that? And I was like, oh, shit.
Grace is like staring at me. And I'm like, I've got I've got
to own up to this. I was like, Mom, I told Grace to

(03:42):
block you from social media. I was.
Like, yeah, it was her fault, not mine.
Yeah. Grace is like you guys were
fighting a couple months ago andI was like, and she told me, I
told her to like block my mom from it, but she can be
reinstated. She's going to listen anyway.
I mean, if she hates it, whatever.
I told him they could only listen to episodes one and three
and five. We got lunch with our moms and

(04:03):
we always do it whenever Vicki'sin town and we do the local
restaurant. Lefties shout out to lefties
support local businesses and we always, each of us always get us
some different salad. This time, Vicky got a soup.
Yeah, the corn chowder. Chowder, chowder, chowder.
And then we always get a glass of wine together and this time I

(04:28):
can't help you with that. Vicky's trying to redo her hair
and I can't help her. It's.
Just not my day. We haven't posted it yet but I'm
sure I'll post it by the time this episode comes out.
But the beginning of episode 6, for the 1st 15 minutes Vicki was
trying to fix her hair and she literally looked like a lion and
could not figure it out because she always has like a slick back
whenever we record because it's usually after jazzer size and

(04:50):
she's tired of looking like George Washington so that's
cute. I like that hairstyle.
I don't like it. I don't know what to tell you.
OK, I'm not touching my hair forthe rest of the day.
That was I shave it off. I'm in my Brittany era.
I had like a freak out before work one day when I lived in
Charleston and I'd fried all my hair off because I had a
terrible, terrible, terrible hairdresser in Fuck That Salon.

(05:13):
I won't name them, but fuck thatsalon.
And I was looking at myself in the mirror holding a razor in my
hand and I legit almost shaved my head.
Honestly, I feel like you could pull it off.
I mean the alternative and like the nose ring and like I see it,
I see it. I would just get really into
wigs, I guess. Do you wear wigs?

(05:34):
You know what I mean? You.
Don't get that reference. But it's OK if you watch Lord of
the Rings, you know that reference.
I watch Lord of the Rings. That's right.
Right. We're supposed to be OK.
It keeps putting you in my screen.
Get the fuck out of my screen. I don't.
Even mean to your camera just loves me.

(05:55):
I am the star. I'm just kidding, she is me.
Someone said a tattoo tour in which each of our tattoos mean
OK. Another podcast.
Shout out to the dirt drive. They said in person episodes are
the best. I bet you guys will go for two
hours, which is funny because wego for like 2 to 2 1/2 when
we're just online yapping. So I don't know how long this

(06:17):
one's going to go. And then another person.
Shout out to Green. He said all of it in all caps,
which I don't know what that means.
All of it. So first ever tattoo, obviously
3 dots. What do the three dots mean?
Grace. So the three dots are Vicki,
Adrian and Grace, and all three of us have one.
Like we've said before, when we would get mad at each other,

(06:38):
we'd just like cross out one of the dots.
And then my next tattoo was right on my right wrist.
I got it after I joined the army.
It means battles. BATTLES, you know, shout out to

(06:58):
the two girls I got it with. And then?
What is it, Battle Buddies? Yeah, then I got this one next
on the side of my arm. Anam Kara means soul sisters and
Gaelic. Got it with my friend Hannah, my
old roomie. Shout out to handy band Nanny.
And then I got a spine tattoo. It's my last name in Morse code.

(07:22):
Another matching tattoo with Vicki, which we've talked about,
so it's funny. I love you.
That's all she wrote with Adrienne initials.
And then the day she passed away.
And then it's my ghost right here, if you can, and you can
see it. I get compliments on it in the
gym all the time. And fun fact, Vicki and I were
drunk at brunch. She needed to get one of her

(07:43):
tattoos touched up. And I wanted another tattoo
because I was newly single. And she was like, Oh, well,
there's like a tattoo shop like down the block as a.
Shout out classic tattoo. Shout out Nick Barnett.
I remember we walked into the tattoo parlor and he was like,
oh, I hope we get the hot tattooartist.

(08:04):
And then he was like, oh, you 2 can come back.
And we're about like, and as I'mgetting it done, he's like, oh,
like, why the ghost tattoo? And I was like, oh, you know.
And like before I could finish answering, Vicki goes because
she ghosts every guy that she fucks.
And I was like, OK, thank you for answering for me.

(08:26):
And I was like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like this tattooed
artist knows like my most deepest, darkest personal
stories because one of my tattoos I got with him when my
ex was in Egypt and I, we were going through a really, really
rough patch. And anyway, I'll get to my
tattoos later. But I'm like, this man knows too
much about me. So if he ever if he ever finds

(08:47):
the pod and remembers me, I'm sosorry for drama dumping on you
every time I get a tattoo. And then my next tattoo was
right here on my like, lower forearm, underneath my elbow,
whatever says E Sakata, which means cheers in Lithuanian

(09:08):
because I'm Lithuanian. A shout out to my Boston family.
They are the best. And then my most recent tattoo
is the finger gun tattoo with the nails.
It's probably one of my favoritetattoos.
I love this tattoo. People compliment it.
Compliment me all the time. Oh my God I almost forgot about
the skull hand rocker signal. I randomly got that with two of

(09:31):
my best girlfriends from collegeand that is my tattoos I have.
No, you forgot your butt. Oh, I have a lot more tattoos
than I remember how. Many tattoos total do you have?
Let me tell that butt story and then I'll count.
And then this is my last tattoo.I have a Margarita on my ass.

(09:55):
Shout out to is it a martini? It's a Margarita.
OK, it's a Margarita. Shout out to Handy Banani again,
because her and I, we're in the army together.
We love to drink margaritas. We also love tequila.
And we got in trouble one time with the army for drinking
margaritas like one does. And so to commemorate it, we got

(10:17):
tattoos on our asses of Margarita glasses with a little
garnish of a lime. But total tattoos?
I think that's nine. Yeah.
Yeah, nine. OK.
Yeah. All right, Vicki, go off, Queen.
I'm up. OK I'm up.
I have 8 tattoos total because someone asked me this the other

(10:38):
day and I always forget where my8th 1 is but I'll show you guys
what's I guess not covered. The 1st tattoo was obviously the
three dots for badge so VictoriaAdrian Grace.
The 2nd tattoo I have it's a pawprint I can't show you but it's
behind my ear. I wanted to be a veterinarian
growing up and those of you who know me know that I'm an animal

(11:00):
freak. We were just at lunch today and
we were fucking ferret, so I wasin like I was almost in high
school. This is a very embarrassing
story. Like in 8th.
Grade right? Yeah.
I was like about to be in high school and I really wanted a pet
ferret. Like so so so bad.
If you know what a ferret is, you know they are very smelly.
Anyway, my parents told me no. They said no to the ferret.

(11:23):
So I like made a poster and a fundraiser.
It was like Victoria's ferret fund.
That could go so wrong. As someone that sounds like an
only fans account. Victoria's ferret fund.
Sorry. OK, did.
You. Yeah, Yeah, My favorite fund.
So I was soliciting donations tobuy a ferret and I got them and

(11:47):
anyway, Long story short, my momwas like, no ferret.
We got the ferret because I raised the money.
But my mom and I were talking atlunch today about how her father
was dying my grandpa and while he was dying, my ferret was
dying at the same time and. She said I got to go to.
Grandpa's going. I'm going to.
Honestly, I was more sad about the ferret.

(12:09):
I didn't. Really know lunch when she was
like, that's when Grandpa Bob died and you're like, oh, so
anyways, my ferret, I was like. Hey, I worked hard for that damn
ferret. But the point of the story is I
wanted to be a veterinarian and I worked in a kennel for a very
long time, so I've got a paw print behind my ear.

(12:32):
So that was my second tattoo. My 3rd tattoo was actually.
I went with you for the paw print.
Yeah, you went with me. Rendezvous tattoo.
They have since closed on Blacksburg, VA Rendezvous.
Then we have this one for Adrian, obviously.
It's the lyric from Ophelia. It says, honey, I love you.
That's all she wrote. This is the tattoo.
I get the most questions about everyone's like, is there a

(12:53):
toaster on your arm? I'm like, it's a crying loaf of
bread because I have celiac disease, so I can't eat gluten.
So I call it my sad toast. Back when I got diagnosed, I
didn't really respect my diagnosis.
And while I didn't feel bad for myself, now if I eat gluten, I
feel bad for my toast. I used to sneak her mozzarella
sticks underneath the table. Yeah, shout out mozzarella 6.

(13:17):
I was dead but I have my sad toast.
My ex-husband and I have this tattoo together.
He is a huge Liverpool soccer fan and if you follow soccer
they're saying is you'll never walk alone.
So I was like you know this would be cute if we had this
matching. So we both have the YNWA for

(13:37):
You'll Never Walk Alone on our arms.
Obviously he's now my ex-husband.
So so I say it stands for you now walk alone.
I have wildflower tattoo on my ribs.
That was when my ex was in Egyptand I was like, I'm a
wildflower. I'm free and it was the first
time I should watch. I also Adrian really love the

(14:01):
song Wildflowers by Tom Petty. So it's kind of an ode to her as
well. I'm a wildfire.
I'm free. I remember when you got that,
you're like, I'm skipping work and I'm getting a tattoo.
I was like, OK, OK, it's fine, better for you.
I have chaos tattooed on the back of my arm.

(14:24):
self-explanatory. Sometimes I forget about that
too because it's that tattoo. Because it's behind me.
So I like to say the chaos is behind me, but.
I like. Isn't it like the chaos is
behind me, right? I feel so like, especially with
your new era in 2025. Yeah, my new era, my new
boyfriend. The chaos is behind me.
Yeah, it's in the past. Cheers.

(14:45):
I already finished my wine. You want to get me more?
OK. And then my most recent tattoo.
I actually got it around the time I decided to get a divorce.
It's really it's for self love. It's a tattoo design I'd been
looking at for a while, but it'slike, I don't know if you can
see it. It's a face and she's like
looking into like the flowers. And it's about, you know, self

(15:06):
love, caring for yourself, putting yourself 1st.
And that's really what I decidedto do May of last year.
So I would say that's probably my favorite tattoo.
But the one I get the most questions about is definitely
the toast. But I'm in the market for an ass
tat. I would really like something on
my back. I think I want to be a thigh
tattoo girl, but I'm not cool like that.

(15:26):
And I think I've kind of have like chicken legs, like I wish
they were a little bit meatier, but I'm like a little like my.
Legs are too meaty. No, like a meaty thigh top on a
guy. I I'm going to make Mr. W get
one because I like a thigh tat. A thigh.
Tat it's. So slutty on a man and I fucking
love him. I know Mr. Spreadsheet has two

(15:49):
thigh tats. I told him he's going to get
this really cool tattoo. I'm not going to spoil what he's
getting because you guys are allgoing to steal it because it's
the coolest tattoo ever. OK, so you know the cliche, most
white dudes do the the wrap around trees around their
forearm. No.
OK, well, it's like a big thing with like military dudes, white
dudes. Just no.
Wonder. I don't fucking know it I didn't

(16:09):
have a problem. I had a problem with military
men Once Upon a time in my life anyways, and he told me it was
what he wanted to get and one ofmy friends.
Does he have any tattoos? Yeah, he's got 2.
Is that his last name across theshoulder blades?
Fuck no, I always encourage him to get more tattoos except for
the tree one. I was like, you cannot get that

(16:31):
basic bitch. I feel like it's a tramp stamp
for women is like the tree forearm thing for men.
He's not allowed to get that OK,but he can get something else.
OK. Oh my God, do you remember all
those people that we went to high school with and they all
went through that phase of getting their last names?
Giant cursive, ugly ass letters?I'm so sorry if you're listening

(16:51):
to this, I don't give a shit. So.
So that was our tattoo tour. Oh, my mom texted me and she
said I had such a wonderful lunch.
Please tell Vicki and Sandra what a beautiful time we had.
Oh, highly recommend that your mom.
So we do our annual lunch, right?
Whatever. Whenever I'm in town, it'll be
me, Grace, my mom and her mom and something about a mother

(17:13):
daughter lunch date. It's just it's everything.
Oh my God, it's so therapeutic. Yes.
I feel so good afterwards, and Ithink it's also because we have
each other there, so I feel likewe're more open with what we
have to say. Today at lunch, we told our
parents about how this big random windstorm or whatever
came through Blacksburg when we were 17 and a bunch of trees had

(17:37):
fallen over all throughout Blacksburg.
The town was out power for like a week, I think.
Like my parents had to go to Vicki's parents to get water,
that's how bad it was. And my brothers were at a pool
party and I was out with Adrian and Vicki, of course.
Surprise. And so I had to go pick them up
because some parents like wouldn't take them home.

(17:59):
Fuck those parents because my brothers were like 12 at the
time. So I went to go pick them up and
I was like, OK, I'm going to, we're going to take them home.
And then we'll go back to Adrian's house and then go out.
But we couldn't get back to our houses because the roads were
closed with like giant oak treeshad fallen over into the roads.
And so we're like, well, fuck, what are we going to do with my

(18:21):
two brothers? So we went back to Adrian's
house. We gave them snacks and water.
I gave them my cell phone, told them to call Vicki or Adrian if
anything happened. And then we left them there in
sitting in the dark and Adrian'sbrother's bedroom.
And the three of us like went out and got, I don't even
remember what we did, but I think one of our friends were
throwing a party. And I was like, I'm not letting

(18:42):
this ruin my time. And.
We're like, yeah, your 12 year old brothers can just stay in
this random dudes bedroom. We were like, eat these
pretzels, have some water. Here's a cell phone.
If anything happens, we're like in the middle of like a freaking
storm. We're like, you know, if a tree
falls down on the House, let us know.
I don't it was. It's called like a directio or

(19:02):
something. It's like basically a hurricane
without the water. And I think we had texted
Adrian's mom too, and we're like, oh, if you find 2 random
little boys in the house, it's Grace's brothers.
Like don't freak out, please. Yeah, sorry, I just poked on my

(19:26):
wine, but I'm like. Speaking of Cecile, so the
podcast is dedicated to Adrian. We recently made her mom aware
that we have a podcast. I told her it's very wrong she
and told her to only listen to episodes one and three.
So Cecile or Cecil as we used. To call.
Cecil. Cecil for counsel, Please

(19:46):
forgive us for everything you'veever heard.
We love you. We love you so much.
And honestly, I hope she listensto the episodes about the Adrian
memories because I hope that it would bring her some joy.
I think so. But some of the things in there,
Cecil, I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
I'm like. Do not look at us in a different
light. I'm like, it's 2025.

(20:08):
We're all about. We're like, so today at lunch,
both of our moms were like, so why?
Why the podcast? And it was because Vicki and I,
like, we always joked around about it.
And then randomly at the end of December, we were laughing about
something and we're like, Oh my God, we're so funny.
Which is podcast. And I was like, why don't we?

(20:32):
I think he was like, yeah, why don't we?
Why don't we? Start a podcast.
First post. On Instagram was like December
27th or something like that. Yep.
And we were like it was. Like an overnight.
We had logos, we had a name. We were.
Like I was on that shit. I always said, oh, we're going
to start a podcast. We're going full throttle with
this bitch. Yep, like.
Pedal to the metal. And so we told them that we were

(20:54):
like, you know, because I mean, there's plenty of podcasts out
there, but we always just like want to reassure millennials and
women, people our age, the girls, gays and days that you
can talk about this shit like it's OK to talk about.
You don't have to feel shame surrounding about it.
We've talked about our shame surrounding it.
And just like grief in general, like especially grief, I feel

(21:17):
like people, they're very weird about it, myself included.
I get like very weird about it and I don't know.
We just want to make sure people, we want people to know
that it's OK to talk about. You're not alone.
We're here. We're talking about it.
Yeah, you know, I think, you know, both of our parents.

(21:40):
My dad is almost a traditionalist.
My dad was born in 1949 for those who don't know.
My dad was born in 1953, both very traditional.
Yes, my dad was born in 1949, mymom was born in 1955, and
millennials with boomer parents,you know, they were like the
worst case scenario. They survived the housing
crisis, this, that and traditionally their.

(22:04):
And their parents were part of the Great Depression, correct?
They had that trauma being put on to them.
And like now, the Boomer trauma is being put on to us.
Right. And I love my parents dearly.
Do they fully understand my lifeand my choices?
No, not at all. I feel like they're trying to,
but I feel like a lot of things that I kept secret was because

(22:28):
it wasn't accepted. So a lot of the reason for the
podcast for me is to talk about the taboos and the things that
you maybe withhold from your family or your friends because
you're worried of judgment because that's how we were
raised. It's just like when I had mental
health problems almost gosh, 10 years ago now, it's like I
didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone.

(22:50):
And it's the world we live in. It's scary to think that you
wouldn't have an outlet. And I think a lot of us were
raised that way. Like you keep it to yourself.
You don't. You don't rock the boat.
You. You push it deep down and just
you put your head down, please ignore it and hope it goes away.

(23:10):
Like, Yep, for example, my dad, he, he's from Boston, he's
Catholic, you know, went to a Catholic school, typical nuns
who were not good people who, you know, hit him and his
breath. As he's gotten older, I've
noticed how like randomly like trauma dump on us because he's
finally, he's 72. He's finally comfortable enough

(23:34):
now to talk about his trauma, which is absolutely insane.
And he like, randomly said something about like, oh, yeah,
me and my younger brother when the nuns would hit us, blah,
blah, blah, blah. That's why my parents pulled us
out and, like, brought us to public school.
So, like, we weren't beat by these nuns.
And I was like, Dad, you, you know, that's like, not OK,

(23:55):
right? He said, well, you know, like I
survived, you know, And like, there's some like, nonchalant.
And my cousin, I saw her the other day and we were talking
like the similarities between our fathers and just like how
they both went through the same thing.
And we were like laughing because when we say I love you
to them, they're all they're both like, OK.

(24:18):
And then Tuesday morning, my cousin, she was going to get a
cup of coffee and we're standingin the kitchen and I was leaning
to go babysit my niece. And I was like, OK, dad, I love
you. And he was like, all right.
I was like, OK, see you. Later see you later that's so
funny. I remember when I was doing

(24:39):
intake forms. If you've ever like tried to get
a mental health counseling appointment, whether it's for a
therapist, a psychologist, they ask you, does anyone in your
family have a history of mental illness and you're.
Like, I don't know. Maybe.
Well, no. I asked my mom about this and
she was like, if we do, it hasn't been diagnosed.
And we just, you know, back then, you just got over it.

(25:01):
Oh. I remember you texting me about
this and I was like bitch what? Yeah, you just got over it.
And I was like, I remember at the time being so baffled.
And you guys know I have a twin brother and he said he's not
going to listen to this podcast because he a shout out.
To her, our brothers who actively avoid listening to
this, thank you, who please havenever listened.

(25:21):
He still ever listened to the podcast, but I told my brother
that I had a podcast or he was like, you podcast, They didn't
know this and he was like, what's the topic?
He was like, that's really cool.I'm not going to listen because
I value having limited personal details about people I'm related
to. But he was like, that's really
cool, whatever. But no, my brother's had his own

(25:42):
struggles with mental health andit's something that the two of
us can connect on because I feellike it's something my family
doesn't quite understand. But I remember, like when I told
my mom about my suicide attempt,it was startling to them because
in their eyes, I'm the person that has it together.
I, I'm happy. I would never be the person that

(26:02):
would have any sort of mental health or internal struggle.
And I remember being really angry, like very, very angry at
the time, because it was shocking to me that.
They didn't pick up on the signsthey didn't pick.
Up on the signs, but also that they know my twin brother has
mental health issues and they accept that and understand it

(26:23):
for him. But when it comes to me, yeah,
it was like a different standardthat Victoria couldn't have the
same issues. And I remember being really
angry. And I'm like, how can you
acknowledge and understand this for one twin?
But not for the. Other just because, you know,
he's had a history of this in the past.
I'm like, why is it so shocking that one twin could have this

(26:45):
and that the other also has it, but you don't accept it?
Yeah. Well, it's like they always say,
like people who unfortunately feel like they have to go
through with like an aligning themselves.
They always say it's like, oh, it's the brightest person in the
room or it's a person you would never.
She let up the room. Yeah.
Do I light up the room? Hell yeah, You light up my room.

(27:09):
No, you have. My names please.
Anyways, maybe get back to this deep dark shit.
Sorry. No, but like they always talk
about how like always check on your friends, always check in on
your family and your loved ones because you if they don't talk
to you about it, you really never know what someone goes

(27:32):
through. And, you know, it's like, for
example, the actor Robin Williams.
If you're a millennial, you knowthe Robin Williams suicide to
the core. Yes, like, he was an amazing
actor, an amazing comedian, always happy, wanted to always
make people laugh, always wantedto make people feel good.
But yeah, he was depressed. And like, it's just sometimes

(27:54):
that is just how people are because they feel sad.
So they want to make other people happy in hopes that it
makes them happy. But yeah, you know, just always
check in on your friends and family.
Sometimes it's the happiest person you know that is
struggling the most. So there's a video and photo of

(28:18):
us on our Instagram like tag teaming this Turkey leg and I
still dream about. That Turkey leg.
I bet that Turkey leg is dreaming about us too, honestly.
Honestly, the Turkey leg is dreaming about us too.
How the people we went to the game, like the next day, they're
like my sister watch you guys down that Turkey leg and was

(28:39):
super impressed. And she was like, it was
halftime and then you guys appeared and it was just like
the carcass of Turkey legs sitting in your seats.
Yeah, he was like, I've never seen someone like, strip a
Turkey leg down to its bone the way that Grace and I did.
And we were so drunk. Just like we had been pregaming

(29:00):
since like 8:00 AM. Oh yeah, Oh yeah.
But anyway, it was half time andwe were like, do you want to
say? And she she was like, no, I was
like me either. So we we ubered home with plans
to nap and go back out and instead we come and napped in
Grace's bed for like 8 hours. 8 hours.
We like randomly finally rolled over.
I'm like, oh, what time is it? It's like pitch black outside.

(29:22):
It's like 7:00 PM We're like. Oh, we're like, you know, we
should let's let's sleep a little bit more.
Set an alarm, go out. The alarm went off and I'm like,
I'm not moving. I was.
Like I'm not moving either. So.
So we got up and I was like taking Vicki home.
I was like, do you want Coca-Cola?
She's like. Yeah, I would love a Coca-Cola.
Coca Cola's went home. Yeah, the fact that we didn't

(29:46):
even have Coca Cola's, we like woke up from an 8 hour coma nap
after Downing a Turkey leg for you to get up to drive me home.
On the way home we were like, you know what, let's bypass the
house and go get Coca Cola's because that's into town.
Drive past Vicky's house. Just skip these goddamn cokes.
But they they hit. They hit so and not only it

(30:07):
wasn't like we just got 2 like little bottles of Coke.
We got a case because Grace was like, I'm gonna keep this Coke.
Fuck. Yeah, which, Speaking of Coca
Colas are the best goddamn hate.Diet Coke.
I'm on a Diet Coke train. I switched.
I switched. I just like there's like the
after taste for it. It's like not it for me.

(30:27):
But the best is a McDonald's Coca-Cola.
The morning after drinking that shit is spicy and it cures all.
But what time I was visiting Vicki in Nashville.
We were super hungover the next day and I was like, I thought I
saw like soda in her fridge. So I go in there.
This bitch has Diet Pepsi. That was an accident.

(30:49):
And I was like, first of all, it's not even Coca-Cola, not
even Diet Coca-Cola, which I could have dealt with, but Diet
Pepsi. Mr. Spreadsheet, his drink of
choice? Regular.
Pepsi, I have a problem with him.
Now officially I have a problem.You'd officially have a problem.
So my boyfriend is meeting my family for the first time this

(31:13):
weekend. He gets tonight.
He gets here at like 9:00 PM. He messaged me earlier and he
was like less than 12 hours and he'll be in my arms.
I said I can't wait. And he said I'm going to kiss
you in front of your parents when I get there.
Is that OK? Is that OK?
And he was and I didn't respond right away because I was working

(31:36):
and he was like a respectable 1.Not my tongue down your throat.
I'm like, thanks for clarifying.Thank you for not fucking my
face with your tongue. They got me.
Biting and eating your face. But no, I'm so excited to see
him. I'm very nervous though.
I'm very nervous. I already feel a little bit of

(31:58):
judgement from Sandra. That's.
Going to Sandy judges everything.
Well, she shouldn't. She should be nicer.
I literally, I was like, Mom, I'm going to stop telling you
things unless I was like, you know that saying if you don't
have anything nice to say. Don't say anything at all.
Yes, that's me with my parents. I say that to her all the time.
She's like, I told you I wasn't going to say anything, but like
it comes out anyway. I'm like.

(32:19):
She's like. She's like, I wouldn't have AI,
wouldn't have a clear conscienceif I didn't tell you.
She's like, I would never do this, but if someone were to do
this or say something, this is what I would say.
The way you crack your elbows, Idon't think I've ever.
Said my elbow. So did so sorry in advance if
anyone it's. So funny because we've been best

(32:42):
friends for like 15 years, but still seeing that freaky the
fuck out. The way you just did that with
your oh God, you're like a little circle Soleil freak.
I don't like that. I'm so sorry.
Shout out to my mom because thisbitch got a bottle of tequila.

(33:04):
Swear to God she was like oh Vicky's coming.
I need to get the girls tequila.You know, it's funny, as we're
sitting here in my bed in my childhood house, I feel like
we're back in high school again,getting drunk in my bedroom.
You can't take them without me, like I know you always try to.
The way you're breathing right now is already making my mouth
water. I don't like it.

(33:47):
What the fuck was I have tears in my eyes.
OK guys, this is going to be a awild episode.
I feel like we don't even have atopic.
We have 0 topics. It's just vibes.
That's the fact that we're together.
All right, cheers. And I just shared why you went

(34:13):
Burns a little bit. What?
OK, so earlier we were at lunch today and my mom goes no family
secrets. And Vicki and I looked at each
other and like, rolled her eyes and laughed.
And then I started laughing evenmore because I was like, I don't
think she realizes that she's been featured on the podcast
like multiple times. I was like, and I'm not going to
be the one to tell her. I mean, is your mom asking you

(34:37):
about orgasms and blowjobs really a family secret?
No, because all my sisters and siblings all know that that's
what she does. Well, they're your family too.
Yeah, so like everyone knows that like my mom just doesn't
have a filter, but she means it in like the most genuine way
possible. It's not like she's doing it out
of spite or being evil or cruel.It's because she genuinely wants

(35:01):
to have a good time with. I'm like, I don't know which is
worse, my mom genuinely wanting me to have like a good sex life
and good orgasms and asking me about it or doing it in a way of
like you don't have good orgasms.
Speaking of Grace's parents. So Grace has wine here today,
and she writes her name on her bottles of wine.

(35:22):
So here's me. I'm like, oh, do your brothers
steal your wine? And she's like, no, my parents
keep drinking my wine. So she, like, labels her wine
with her name on it so that Marianne and Steve.
Papa Molosscus. Papa Moloss, the apple orchard
man. Yes.
Yeah. Because tell us about Granny
Smith. Oh my God, I forgot what the

(35:44):
last times you were here, Granny.
Smith Apples. My dad went into this bull.
I don't even remember the whole spiel, but he went into.
Like spreadsheet would find thisso intriguing.
He like went into details about Granny Smith apples and the
reason why they're not eating asmuch and why they grow the way
they grow and like how they became like popular and Ameri.

(36:06):
Says dad owns an apple orchard. Peach orchard.
So he has like, a small orchard,but it's like a mix of Peaches,
apples, blueberries, blackberries, corn, watermelon,
plums and grapes. And he did his master's at Tech
and Forestry and Trees. Like, he knows anything and

(36:27):
everything about agriculture youcould possibly know.
And he was telling Victoria in detail one random time she was
at my house all about Brandy Smith apples, because I think he
offered you some homemade applesauce or something.
I think my ex was there and he was more interested than me.

(36:47):
Yeah, the ex was there and Mila was there, and my dad is a very
much like golden retriever snob,only likes golden retrievers.
Met Mila immediately, was like playing with her, falling in
love with her. And Mila was obsessed with my
dad because like Vicki's brotherVaughn, my dad, it's a damn
animal whisperer. It's like he doesn't have to try

(37:08):
to get animals to like them. Him, he, they just like they
come to him. Yes so my dad has like 30
chickens he will come home from work and pull up.
And if the chickens are free ranging because they are legit
free range. Do you?
Guys only eat eggs for me chickens.
No, we'll buy store eggs like especially during the winter
when they don't produce as much.So fun fact about chickens, the

(37:31):
more light there is outside, themore eggs they produce.
Seasonal depression is real. Yeah, even in chickens.
Chickadee D anyways. But so like my dad rolled up
from work, roll up from work andif the chickens are out they

(37:53):
will flock to his truck and theywill be like until he gets out
of his truck and then he like pets them.
And then randomly a rooster showed up in our flock and he
was like I only have like 2 Roosters and he's like I don't
know where this rooster came from.
Turns out a neighbor of ours dropped off their rooster at our

(38:16):
flock because they didn't want to deal with him anymore.
I mean, honestly, that makes sense and.
My dad was like, you know, I can't even be mad because I've
done that to other farmers in Blacksburg.
I was like, OK, well, there you go.
Honestly, I should join the circus with my hyperextended
elbows and my balancing act. You can be like a little weird

(38:37):
circus. I want to like flip this and
like catch it on my head again. Oh, like how dogs can do on
their with their trees, They. Like, yeah, like.
I will say don't break that because it's my mom's new wine
glasses for Christmas. Merry Christmas.
They're from like William and Snell, but so you know, those
shits were expensive. Yeah, you gave me a nice wine
glass. You had a lot of faith.

(39:00):
They were at the front of the cabinet, so I just chose to, you
know, I didn't feel like searching.
Like no one submitted any podcast advice.
Like I guess none of you guys want to hear us talk is really
what I'm what I'm getting at is.What I'm understanding is that
you fucking hate us, right? I was being a middle child of 11

(39:22):
as a baby girl. I was like kept from a lot of
shit. I did get favoritism compared to
like my older siblings and my older sisters.
I will admit to that. But I it's the moment I wanted
an iPhone. I graduated during the Army,
came home and I wanted an iPhone.
And my mom told me that I had toget off her cell phone plan if I

(39:45):
wanted an iPhone and pay for it myself.
And I was like OK, fine, I will.So I did and then like a year
later she got my all of my five younger brothers iPhones on her
phone plan and I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
Marianne and every. Time I bring it up to her, she's
like, well you're just like better than all of them and I'm

(40:06):
like well I mean I know I am, but.
That doesn't mean I don't want to be coddled.
I know it was like doesn't mean that you can't not pay for my
phone plan when I was 18 years old.
All right, true life. My ex-husband still pays for my
phone. As he should for all the
emotional damage. Emotional damage.

(40:29):
You know what? I asked for A divorce.
Yeah. He was like, you should just
give me the house because of allthe trauma, he put.
Me, I don't think 400,000 K should.
Be equipped to that. Yeah, to that, yeah.
Yeah. At first I was like, you know
what? You're right, I'm such a
horrible person. And then?

(40:51):
You left, you were like what? No, honestly, I am shocked that
things went as amicably as they have gone.
Do you feel like this is amicable?
Yes, compared to like some people who fucking hate each
other, you guys can still text and talk to each other and at

(41:13):
least talk about it. But some couples, they can't
even do that. They can only speak to their
lawyers. Yeah.
So like, in a in a way I'm happythat it's that way because it's
easier on you. Yeah.
But also, I'm like, I wish you didn't have to talk to me.
Yeah, it'll be over soon. Yeah.

(41:34):
Maybe. Maybe.
You know, sometimes I wonder if Mr. Bankrupt the one that just
that blocked me on Venmo. That's crazy.
Like move on one of. My ex boyfriends I was because I
was being nosy because I wanted content for the podcast and I
was looking up. Was he like, oh, oops, like let

(41:55):
me make sure I don't send you money?
I don't even know because early last year something came up
about my ex-boyfriend. I was like I wonder.
So I looked at his memo because I was furious and like, I guess
he does everything in private because like, nothing had been
Venmoed since like 2023 or whatever.

(42:16):
Yeah. And I was like, OK, that's
boring, whatever. And like I hadn't looked at it
until like a few days ago. Oh, I was Venmoing someone for
their birthday and I was like, oh, I wonder if unprivated his
profile. So I looked at it and he's I
couldn't search him. And then I was like, well, he
Venmoed me a bunch during our relationships.
So then I looked at like my transactions and like searched

(42:39):
his name. Nothing came up.
And then I went to your ex husband's Venmo because I was
like I went back to like times that I knew that they were
Venmoing each other. Nothing showed up but I was like
so within the last. Maybe he related his Venmo
because he's been like reported to the IRS and he was like, I
don't blame any income. Wait, he's been reported to the

(42:59):
IRS? Hasn't he?
I didn't report him, did you? No Siri.
I feel like he has IRS problems,yes.
I mean, probably I didn't reporthim.
I wanted to report him so many times.

(43:20):
And the only saving grace that he had was because you were
involved, because you were married into the problem God.
So I was with three of my brothers this past weekend
because. You think the whole episode
they're just going to hear me crunching chips?
Absolutely, but I'm so sorry if you hear that you talk.

(43:45):
Anyways, so this past weekend I visited one of my older brothers
and my brain was elsewhere because I was just thinking
about like seeing my family, seeing Mr. W, all of that.
I forgot my suitcase at my house, which is 6 hours away
from my brother's house. Didn't realize it until I was

(44:08):
basically at my brother's house.And I was like oh sick.
Cool. So then I called my little
brother that I live with and I said hey, it's my suitcase
there. And he's like yeah, I'm
currently staring at it in your room.
I was like, all right, sick. What are the odds of you coming
to our brother's house this weekend?
He's like, well, like, I've beenthinking about it maybe.

(44:28):
And I was like, OK, well, like one of our other brothers is
going to be there. Plus Mr. W, who he's met
multiple times before, and he's like, oh, maybe he's like, I
have soccer games tonight. Like, I wouldn't be able to come
until after that. I was like, OK, like, let me
know your decision. We hang up.
It's like an hour later. And I was like, no, I need him
to bring my suitcase. So I texted him.

(44:50):
I said I will pay for all your gas.
And he was like, oh, sick, that would be awesome.
And I said, OK, so you're going to come.
He's like, yeah, I'll be there at 4:00 AM.
So he drives through the night Friday night, gets there like
4:00 or 5:00 AM. The boys have a tee time of 8:00
AM. He gets up at 8:00 AM and goes
and plays golf for like, I don'tknow, five hours.

(45:11):
And I was like, God bless my little brother and bringing me
my fucking suitcase. So then my other little brother
that was there, we all like wentto dinner, my sister-in-law
brought her friend out and then we went to a bar afterwards.
Like we're all drinking, we're having fun, it's great.

(45:33):
And at one point my little brother and my sister in law's
friend are up at the bar. They had been like kind of
flirting throughout the night and like, we were all egging it
on. Like that's just how we are as
siblings. They're up at the bar ordering
drinks and I have a video of my little brother turning around.
And I was like pointing at the girl.
And I was like, get her, get her, get her, like make out with

(45:55):
her. He turns around and looks at me
and he goes and like, hard winksat me.
And I was like, damn. OK.
So then there was like, live music.
We're all being lively. The two of them disappear and
they're apparently off dancing. And then at one point I, we all
got pretty drunk. Like I'm, I was pretty drunk at
one point. I can't remember.

(46:17):
It was either Mr. W or my littlebrother that I live with came up
to me and was like, yo, our brother and the girl like had
sex in like the backroom or something.
I said no fucking way that they did that.
Like I don't fucking believe that.
And then the next day, we asked my little brother, we were like,
yo, so like what happened at thebar?

(46:39):
And he was like, oh, like we were dancing.
And then we made out a little bit.
And then like we went out the back door and there was like
this like little bridge that youcould like overlook the city of
Louisville. And then we were dancing on
that. And then we were like making out
more or whatever. And he was just like, so smug
and charismatic about it. And I was like, I hate listening

(47:00):
to this, but at the same time, I'm so proud of you for being
like a little ladies. Man, also can I just say when
you told me this story earlier today I didn't realize it was
the younger set of twins. Yeah, so the girl is our age.
She's like 3231. I'm.
Not 32. I'm not 32 either.
Anyways, the girls like around our age.

(47:21):
My little brother is 2324. So in my mind, this was the
older set of twins. What?
It was one of them. Which is 27, which would be like
more like reasonable, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But now that I'm realizing it's the baby twins before Pookie,

(47:43):
that's what. I'm telling you, like, I love my
brothers and I love going out with them because they're so
fun. But I forget that like girls
find them attractive and that they're very good at picking up
girls. So when I go out with them, I'm
like, like, I don't want to see this.
And I I'm sure they're probably the same way with like me and

(48:05):
seeing me with my boyfriend and like see like this podcast
because I'm sure they don't wantto hear about my fucking orgasms
and all that shit. But like, at least I don't do it
in front of them. Like I'm not making out and
sitting on Mr. W in front of them.
Like I made sure like I think weheld hands at some point
Saturday night, maybe kissed once in front of them.

(48:26):
That was it. I was like, you will be at least
a foot away from me when we are around them.
So I'm like, I don't want them to see anything.
And it's funny because my ex-boyfriend that had met my
family, Mr. Bankrupt, he. I love that his name is Mr.
Bankrupt. He was constantly trying, like,
hugging on me and, like, trying to, like, be PDA with me and

(48:49):
like, I don't want PDA around myfamily.
And it just, like always, like, kind of weirded me out.
But like, now that, like, I'm very separated from our
relationship, I realized it was like a possessive thing, like a
relationship. Yes.
It's not because he loved me. Yeah.
OK, the only time my ex was affectionate to me in public is

(49:09):
when he was like blackout drunk and he would like bite me.
Yeah. But so I picked up Vicki from
the airport last night and. I'm trying not to punch put.
Your microphone away and we weretalking about like our plans,

(49:30):
blah, blah, blah, whatever. And I was like, Oh yeah, like
I'm planning on moving up to Mr.W or not moving up to him, but
I'm planning on spending the month of May and his town,
whatever. I was like, but first I have to
drive to Virginia Beach with a concert with my friends.
And she was like, wait, what? We can miss this.
Is it? Is it like May 10th?
I said, yeah, it is. She was like, who?

(49:52):
What concert are you going to? I said Rufus Dassault.
She was like, wait, I'm going tothat concert.
So I was like, fuck yeah. So we will be going to a concert
together in the first weekend ofMay.
I'm very excited. I'm that's like.
Like a month and a week away. I know it's it is crazy that
April's literally like in 2 days.

(50:14):
Yeah, I'm an April baby. My birthday is coming up.
I was meant to. Say your birthday will be what?
Like the week before that week and 1/2.
I'll be in Barbados for my birthday and there's a
spreadsheet. Of course.
There's a spreadsheet. Of course.
I'm so excited today. My mom today my mom was like,
what are you doing for your birthday?
And I'm like casually, oh, I'm going to Barbados.

(50:36):
She's like, I didn't know that, sorry.
Randy. Well, no, my mom is meeting my
boyfriend tonight. I'm so excited.
I'm so nervous. And something she said earlier
at lunch, she was like, don't rush it.
Don't rush rich, rich, rich, rich, rich.
She was like, don't rush it. You're not even legally divorced

(50:59):
yet, but she. Said that.
Damn. Cut me to cut that.
Super cool. Today I was like, Mom, I need
you. Like, I get it.
I have a very bad track record with men, isn't?
That bad? Like every boyfriend you've had
that you're serious about, you've staked them for a fuck
ton. For too much time but like this

(51:22):
is my first boyfriend that I'm introducing to my family.
Yeah, because you. I mean, I haven't had a
boyfriend. This is my first boyfriend first
and foremost. Let me be clear.
Since my divorce, this is the first person that I've been like
I claim him as my boyfriend. Like I want him to be my
boyfriend 1000% but it's the first boy that's also being

(51:43):
introduced to my parents and my brother.
And Vicki was telling me about how Spreadsheet man wants his
kids to be baptized in the Catholic Church.
Which fun fact, my family is Catholic.
I grew up Catholic. Yeah, I approached gracious Dad.
I was like, you would be happy to know that my boyfriend is
Catholic. My dad was like, oh, does he

(52:03):
still go to church? And she was like no.
And he was like oh OK. He was like he got really
excited and then immediately disappointed and was like, cool,
don't care anymore. But I can't wait to be a
godmother. No.
So you know how earlier my mom was talking about how the home
day here and she's like, I'm going to sell the stuff.

(52:25):
I didn't have the heart to be like, maybe keep it because you
might have grandbabies. Do you think she'll be excited?
I don't. Know, I think right now it's
hard for anyone to be excited for me.
Hi I'm. Excited for you well, it's hard
for my parents to be excited forme to be in a relationship
because it's. So new and so fast.
Well, not even that fast like. I'm like, I've known him for 12

(52:47):
years. Yeah, I guess just because like,
I don't know, except once again,the older generation because
you're not officially divorced yet.
I feel like feel like you can't date or move on until that
divorce decree. Comes in, you know, Yeah.

(53:09):
Mr. Spreadsheet was like, I didn't know the love of my life
was going to be a divorcee. I always knew I was going to be
a second wife. I always said that I was like I
am second wife material. Yeah, the second wife always
wins. Absolutely because they get it
out on the first wife which I'm so sorry to all first wives
club. I'm so sorry you are angels for

(53:29):
putting up and dealing with the bullshit of those men.
Absolutely 100%. Mine is Mr. W because his
ex-wife cheated on him. I'm sure he made mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes in theirrelationships, but it's not like
he cheated first or emotionally abused you or neglected you or

(53:50):
ignored you or put you down or talk down to you, you know?
Yeah, I mean, all of those things are my fault, didn't you
know? I just really forgot.
About that, yeah, I'm like, gosh, shame on me, but.
Yeah. Do better.
Do better. So when I was at my family's

(54:12):
house this past weekend and my brothers were like, I actively
avoid listen to the podcast in law was like, yeah, sometimes I
feel like I shouldn't listen to it.
And I started really she and I started laughing and I was like,
no, I totally get it. Like hearing about how your
sister-in-law gets fucked and her orgasms in her past, like,
you know, whatever, But her and I are super cloak.
She's she's basically my sister.I love her to death.

(54:35):
I would do anything for her. And so she put us in the like
their basements, basically like another apartment.
So like she put us downstairs and I was like laughing to
myself because normally I alwaysstay upstairs in the top level.
Yeah. And I, when she put me, us in
the basement, I started laughing.

(54:56):
So I was like, I guarantee she did that because A, she listens
to the podcast, B, she knows howmuch I love sex.
C, she knows how much I love Mr.W.
So I know she was like, I don't want any chance of having to
possibly listen to anything thatthose two are doing.
And every time we would have sex, in the back of my mind, I'm
like, I'm so sorry to her. Like, I'm not going to say her

(55:19):
name, but I'm like, I'm so sorryto her.
Like I'm so I'm doing this in your health.
I need to have sex with my boyfriend.
Well, you guys like really long distance.
Like I think that I'm long distance, but you really long
distance. My long distance man has a kid,
so like it's even harder becauseof that because I mean, he only

(55:39):
has a 50% of the time, but he then like that 50% of the time,
he then has to do 50% with me. So I'm only getting 1/4 of his
100%, whereas like you get 50% of his hundred, Yeah.
No, I feel like you got 100 evenon a long distance.

(56:02):
No, I'm happy for you. I'm happy you finally found
someone that gives you 100% in the ways that you deserve.
No. And he does.
And that's why I'm trying to getmy parents to understand that
that me introducing him to them is a very big deal.
Like there have been other men. Obviously, you guys listen to
the podcast. There's not been a one that I've

(56:24):
been like, I want you to meet myparents.
And he's meeting my parents early.
There's already a date for me tomeet his parents.
And I really hope they love him as much as I do.
I said it to my mom. I was like, you guys are going
to love him. And this is maybe a month ago.
And she was like, what's important is if you love him.

(56:45):
See, every now and then she sayssomething like that, and I'm
like, okay, you're a pretty goodperson.
You understand? You understand that you love me.
And then today she's like, but don't brush it and like, here's
the boomer. When I first started dating Mr.
W and I finally told my parents about him and they met him end
of August and then like a month or two later my mom is trying to

(57:09):
set me up with some random man because she met his best friend
at a wine night at their local favorite wine store and the
couple had just moved there. So my mom's yapping away and.
She's like, I have a single daughter and.
Literally she's like, Oh my God,I have a single daughter and the

(57:30):
people are like, oh, we have a single friend and my mom was
like sending the girl pictures of me all about me.
They're sending stuff back to her about him.
Then my mom sending it to me. I was like, mom, I am very happy
with my boyfriend. Like I love him.
I don't need that. I did.
She say she was like she. Was like, yeah, well, like, what

(57:53):
about the distance? And like, he's so far away and
like, it's cold. And I was like, OK.
And and then the person she was like trying to like introduce me
to, they lived in DC and I was like, OK, I never want to move
to DC. And she's like, yeah, well, like
maybe they'll move to South Carolina for you.

(58:13):
And I'm like, why are you putting all these hypotheticals
in? I don't want to meet this man.
I don't want to know this man that like, I'm very happy in my
relationship. And then I guess like three
weeks after that, I was eating dinner with my parents and my
mom brought up Mr. W and then mydad was like, Oh yeah, how's

(58:34):
your like kind of boyfriend doing?
And I like kind of lost it all them.
I said there is no kind of. I said he is my boyfriend 100%
full stop. I'm in love with him, He's in
love with me. We're very happy together.
Like I am very serious about him.
I said if I wasn't serious abouthim, I wouldn't have had him
come to Blacksburg, meet you guys, meet half my family while
they were also in town and they're like, oh, like we didn't

(58:57):
think you were that serious about him.
I said no, I'm very serious. It's.
Really hard to reset those expectations with your family
when they've seen you be unserious with people.
And that's what I'm finding out.It's like, I've been so
unserious since my divorce that now that I have someone serious,
it's like they almost don't wantto get their hopes up.
Yep. And it's like their way to

(59:18):
protect or whatever. And they also, you know, just
saw what I went through. So they're also, it's like a way
for them to protect me and I'm trying not to be upset about it,
but the way that you reacted, it's kind of what I'm worried
what happened this weekend. And I'm trying to make sure that
I remain level and understanding.
And just because they don't fully understand that I love

(59:41):
this person, it's they're not inmy life, they're not in my
relationship and they have to accept him in their own time and
their own way. And I'm trying to be OK with
that. It's hard.
It's hard. I'm like, so I was messaging my
ex yesterday. He sent me something out of the

(01:00:02):
blue, whatever. I was like, why would you send
me that? And he was like, what do you
mean? What do you mean?
What do I mean? And I was like, it's not really
appropriate for you to send me things.
And he was like, well, I thoughtit would be funny.
And I was like, too soon. He was like, fair.
So here I am being petty. I'm like, how are you and your
girlfriend? And this is what he said he's

(01:00:26):
like and I say girlfriend. I used her name because I know
whatever she's. She was dating one of the ex
husband's friends and was alwaysvery flirtatious.
With my husband, with my husbandand would rely on him for
support with her relationship and vice versa.
Like there were times he's like,I'm going to go get lunch with

(01:00:48):
her. Anyway.
One of the first girls he ended up with after we got separated
anyway, he's with this girl And I was like, I hope you guys are
doing well. And he responded back and he was
like, yeah, I hope you and your thing are good too.
My thing, and this is what I said I was like, glad you and

(01:01:09):
her are doing well. He said.
Yeah, definitely. How are you and your thing?
You doing all right? I said I'm doing great and he's
awesome. Maybe one day we will all be
friends. I I was a little petty and a
little drunk yesterday. When she sent me that, when she
sent me the screenshot, that wasthe first thing I clocked.
And I was like, you know, that'snever going to happen, right?

(01:01:31):
And she's like, yeah, I'm being petty.
I said This is why I love you. No, but he said I'm happy for
you :) I think we can work that out.
I was like, I'm happy for you too.
He's a Hokie and gives me everything I need and more.
I hope she does the same for you.
That's awesome, VIX. You know, he used that as his

(01:01:52):
whole personality for the next two days so he could be a
fucking somber victim. But it's just, it's so funny to
me because I can still see his life.
And I mean, nothing has changed about his life except he's
replaced me with someone else and he does the exact same
thing. And that should tell you
something about a partnership isyou found someone else who is

(01:02:15):
vulnerable enough to 100% buy into your wants, your needs,
your desires at the expense of themselves.
And it's just like I was replaceable.
I was replaceable the whole timebecause it wasn't about me and
him being together and building a life together.
It was who fits into my life andmy goals.
Which I feel like a lot of people can relate to because

(01:02:39):
unfortunately I feel like it's more common than it's not of
like having a like your first, Imean relationship, marriage,
whatever. Well, it's like if someone can
conveniently slide right into your life, it means it's all
about you. Because I can tell you right
now, you're with someone who's divorced and you are not a

(01:02:59):
replacement filler for her. He has a completely different
life with you that you guys are building together.
And there's something to be saidabout that.
And now that I'm divorced and I'm with someone, it's like.
I feel like compared to like even December to now, not that

(01:03:19):
you're a completely different person, but.
I'm myself again. Yeah, you're.
Yourself again, I feel like you're very much at peace.
You're happy. Again, I'm dancing.
I'm like doing all the things I love.
You're. Just you're, you're just happy
and at peace and like you don't wake up every morning with like
a fuck ton of anxiety of like, fuck, what did I do to like fill

(01:03:42):
that void? Almost like now you wake up and
you're like, oh, I'm you're always having to go to work.
That's just but like you're likehappy to be like, oh, what am I
going to do today? Like what's going to happen?
Like I feel like you are just you're unabashed self again and
it's all good to see. And it's it's great to be with
someone that amplifies you beingyourself versus making you be

(01:04:06):
someone different. Yes, versus someone that drowns
you and tamps yourself down. I remember when he started
seeing this girl, I had a couplepeople that were like, yeah, we
saw him together with her. We met her like she's very plain
is what a lot of people said. She's very young and some of the
comments, which she's pretty andI don't think anything bad about

(01:04:28):
her. She's never done anything wrong
to me and honestly I hope they find happiness, I really do, but
I mean I. Hope they find happiness.
I hope that she doesn't write for her and like that's, that's
what I think about a lot is, youknow, I hope he learns something
from this. I hope that whoever he's with
next that he want. No, I'm, I'm trying to see the

(01:04:48):
good in people. I'm really trying and I, I know
you are and I just, I hope that he does find happiness and that
she is happy. And maybe, you know, maybe our
ambitions, like I'm a very ambitious person.
So is he. Maybe this person fits into more
of what he needs and what he wants and is OK with that.
And so be it. I mean, people who are from

(01:05:11):
Richmond stay in Richmond is theway that I feel, just like how
people from Blacksburg stay in Blacksburg.
OK, well, I also. You don't count, you know.
I've also moved out of Blacksburg like three times but
no IA 100% about like agree about like the Richmond thing.
Like 2 of my exes are from Richmond.

(01:05:32):
Everyone has 0 intention of everleaving Richmond.
Which I mean like there's something wrong with that if you
choose to grow. Yeah.
But I feel like everyone who stays in Richmond, who's from
Richmond, they don't grow. Well, I started seeing someone
right in the separation, and that person had been in Richmond

(01:05:53):
for years. And I we're finally back to
friends on Instagram. We are.
He followed me recently and I was like, you know what?
I'll accept this. Whatever.
He does the same thing every single night.
And that's like what I see. The.
Two same 3 bars. And every night I just it's it's

(01:06:15):
a trend and it's all he does. And like anything I see from my
ex now, it's like he's living the same exact life as when I
was with him. It's like not a single thing in
his life has changed. He still stays in the same
house. He still does the same things,
goes to the same bar who has thesame friends.
And I'm like, I have a whole different life.

(01:06:35):
Yeah. A.
Whole different life and I've reconnected with friends that I
lost throughout my marriage and it's been so great along with
making tons of new girlfriends. I've had more.
I have more girlfriends now thanI've ever had in my life and
that says a lot because I was just so like, let me mold to the
relationship. Right.
And it's funny because I always felt like your ex, like I wish

(01:06:57):
she had more like girlfriends, all this stuff and like.
Every time I did, he was like, but no, you have to come out
with me. You have to do this.
He would like, almost sabotage it in a way where you had to
rely on him and his friends, right?
So you weren't independent and like had your own friends could
go off and be like, well, actually I think I'm going to go
out with like this girl instead of like going out with your guy

(01:07:21):
friends. Yeah, well I just think about
something that was really eye opening to me.
So you guys know I love Jazzercise and getting back into
fitness and to dance with something that was really
important to me. Something that should be
important to your significant other is supporting and loving
the hobbies that you do. Absolutely.
Especially if they're fitness, health related.

(01:07:42):
He would always be like, no, I want you to work out with me.
I want like he. Doesn't work out.
Well, at the time we were tryingto play tennis and like each
time it would rain or he'd be like, oh, we got invited to
happy hour. I'm like, I blew off Jazzercise
to work out with you and now we're not even working out.

(01:08:02):
And I don't know, I just, I justthink back to it being a control
mechanism to take away one of the things I loved.
It's like I started finding friends of Jazzercise and going
out and wanting to teach. He was like, we travel too much,
you don't have time for this. And as soon as I moved to
Nashville, guess what? Instructor.
Yep, instructor. And I love, I love teaching

(01:08:25):
Jazzercise, maybe more than I love my job.
Which? Is insane, Vicki.
On Instagram, she's constantly posting about how much she loves
to be an instructor, which I love.
It's so great. No, and like I mean all.
Of you should, all of you shouldbe liking her stories and if you
live in Nashville, you should begoing to Jazzercise.
You should be going to Jazzercise.
Good for you. Thanks for plugging Jazzercise.

(01:08:48):
No, I just like I I always said that nothing would fulfill me as
much as my job would. And I absolutely love my job.
But teaching Jazzercise has brought something out in me that
I've lost. And also, like for the first
time ever, I have a person that I love enough that if it came
down to it and we had to move, Iwould pick him over my job.

(01:09:10):
Well, you also like you were you've been a dancer since the
age of like 2. Yeah.
And I feel like Jazzers highs isan extension of that.
And I feel like spreadsheet Man always, he puts in an effort to
make sure you are doing Jazzercise, you have time to do
Jazzercise. It's always in like your plans
for whatever you guys are doing together.

(01:09:30):
He always makes sure that you were putting yourself first.
Yeah. Which I think then falls into
the relationship of why you guysare.
Why I'm feeling more giving and why I would do the same and
return. And like, I always talk about
it. I'm like, oh, I'm with another
guy from Virginia, which he likes to say he's not from
Virginia. He is from New Jersey.
He is from New Jersey, but he went to Virginia Tech.

(01:09:54):
And obviously being a Hokie is something that's an integral
part of me. Yeah.
And. Since day one, this bitch has
always been like, I have to marry a Hokie and I'm like,
yeah, OK, whatever, we'll get there.
Here, here's me. I have to marry a Hokie.
Someone has to have a college degree.
I didn't. I didn't marry any of that.

(01:10:15):
I want a sexual answer. Hello, sugar.
Hello. You're on the pod.
Actually, I've been drinking fora month and because I was
waiting to go to Folly and then I was like, well, these two
bitches are going to be in town.I guess I'm speeding it up a

(01:10:38):
week. We are just making sure that you
are ready for next weekend, you know You're welcome.
It's called conditioning. Yeah, it is.
It is called the men are actually crazy.
Those Facebook groups of are we dating the same guy?
I have many thoughts about that.My main thought is, is that the
term not all men is always a manis always a man.

(01:11:01):
Yeah, when they're like not all men, but almost I'm like, no,
100% it's always a man. Also when whenever someone
posted it and they're like, oh, like this person did this to me
and it is the nastiest looking sewage rat man that you've ever
seen. And you're like, why the fuck?
How did the fuck did this man? And it's like the hottest girl

(01:11:23):
ever posted about it. And I'm like, how the fuck did
this man do this? I saw it yesterday.
This one girl pissed in the Atlanta one, and they were like,
she was like, yeah, he gave me chlamydia twice.
And I know I should have left. I'm like, you are a dumb bitch.
Like, yeah, I was just like, youare stupid.
And then my favorite is like, does this belong to anybody?

(01:11:48):
It's like this fucking 65 year old man with those hairs coming
out. And I'm like, always want to put
no babe, all yours. No one is going after that.
And then some are just like, they don't know the definition
of dating. Yeah.
And so like this one, like this one will be like, oh, I have a

(01:12:11):
first date. And then this other girl was
like, oh, we had our first, our second date the other night.
It was really nice, but I don't know where I'm going with it.
And she's like, what, You're dating him, too?
And she was like, we literally both found him on him.
Like where? Yeah.
And until you have, we are exclusive conversation.
Then it's like, free game. I feel like.
Yeah, I think so. I mean, that's how I play it.

(01:12:32):
You know what I think about fromtime to time.
There we go. Then we were at a bachelor
party, and it was the night thatyou got fucked up.
And we were at that Mexican place.
Is that your boyfriend? What?

(01:12:53):
No, he. Actually did reach out to you.
Oh my God, you fucking bitch. No, but I remember.
You're like, let me FaceTime him.
No, but it always made me laugh because I was sitting next to
you and you were fucked up and you were like, this is my petite
Prince. Do you want to see his Dick?
I was like, oh, OK. And then you Facetimed him and

(01:13:14):
he was like, yeah, here it is. And it was like a giant penis.
And I was like, yeah, I understand why you're with this
man. Oh my God, his penis is huge.
I cannot believe you just told me saying that it was his.
He was your boyfriend. I was about to freak the fuck
out. No, I thought you were going to
tell that story because Maggie says it all the time.

(01:13:35):
She's like, oh, do you mean yourboyfriend?
I'm almost Grace and Vicki. Hey, y'all, listen, we have 35
years of marriage coming up. Like that's the that's the part
we're celebrating, right? And she just said yeah.
Can I ask what is the secret to 35 years of marriage?

(01:13:56):
Yeah, what's the secret? Yeah.
I'll say it, I said. Tell us, what is it?
Separation and communication. Interesting.
Let me explain. So separation communications
separation part. You have your friends, right?
You have a good friend and the time that you know becomes the

(01:14:18):
time you gotta get away or long weekend, you know, whatever you
like to you wanna go to the beach, wanna go shopping?
You wanna fly somewhere, you know, and your you and your
friend or friends go do that, OK.
And then you come home. And then, you know, it's vice
versa. You know, he does the same
thing. And you got to communicate, you
know, you just have to talk. And no, no two people think

(01:14:43):
alike. Yeah, no, yeah, totally.
I am, I always say, like you canlove someone so much, but you
have to choose to like someone every day. 100% And the thing
that I would say about that is the more that you get to spend
time with like your girlfriends,the more you will love him.

(01:15:07):
And if your girlfriends love him, that's always a big plus
plus. And all of my girlfriends
honestly have always loved. And my mom and dad, yeah, I know
he's not for rent. I don't rent him out but.
Oh, you bought that house? My mom and dad love him.

(01:15:28):
Yeah. So that's important to you.
Like, once somebody becomes a part of your family, like, he's
just really jumped right in there with both feet.
And that's really hard with my family because we're very loving
and we spend a lot of time together.
And he like kind of started saying, OK, cool.

(01:15:50):
And we worked all the things that we've worked out, all the
holidays. That's really important.
Yeah, I would say. Yeah.
I love that so much. You do.
That and of course we always, we've always wanted to have
babies and I and we're so blessed to have such great kids.
They are pretty. Great.
They're both great. They're.
Pretty great. They're both pretty great and we

(01:16:12):
made them and I'm so proud of them.
But yeah, come by whatever. I just need some hugs from.
You girls, we love you. Absolutely.
We love you so much. I love you.
So I guess we can sign off at this point.
All right, so thanks for coming to your secret safe with a This
was episode 7. There was no theme.

(01:16:32):
The theme was us being together because it's a vibe, vibes only.
The theme was chaos, right Vicky?
It's behind me. Chaos, chaos.
Please subscribe. Like rate US five stars on
Spotify, Apple, YouTube, like uson Instagram and TikTok which

(01:16:55):
apparently is going away in like10 days.
I didn't know that which I should.
They've said that like for the last six months.
Yeah, so I guess we'll see. But please, like us, follow us,
subscribe, rate US five stars because we love you and we love
making this content for you. And yeah, get us big because we
get us big. We want to make.

(01:17:16):
More merch for you. We love making merch, they're so
fun. Oh that, that reminds me, buy a
hat. Buy hat, buy hat, buy hat so we
can make sure it's. Yes, links are in our bio for
buying a hat. Oh.
Scholarship. Yes.
Yes. We are connected so the Adrian
Newcomb Soccer Scholarship. The deadline to apply for it is

(01:17:38):
April 12th. This scholarship applications
are open now. It is for senior scholar,
scholar senior soccer girls who are going to college for soccer.
Yep, they get a scholarship fromthat fund per semester I
believe. I don't know but we will post

(01:17:59):
about it so please apply please.Please donate.
Please donate for these girls, they are going to be going to
college for soccer and Adrian's honor.
So these are Blacksburg High School seniors and each year
they award a soccer scholarship and Adrian's honor for them to
go play soccer in college just like Adrian did when she

(01:18:21):
graduated. Striker.
Hell yeah, That was our bitch. She always made those goals.
Fuck yeah. Go Adrian.
Usually it's I think it's seniornight that they.
Present the. Award The award announce a
scholarship. We will be donating to the
scholarship this year, so pleasealso donate.

(01:18:42):
Please share that the scholarship is open and we love
you. And thanks for listening, Illy.
Illy. Means please.