How Intimacy and Desire Change as You Age and How to Evolve With It (Not Drift Apart): Episode 409

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected. 

In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart.

In this episode you’ll hear:

-A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently

-The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

-Why intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and environmental

-How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido

-Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age

 

This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy?

👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

 

Timeline of what we discuss in this episode: 

00:00 – A real confession: “I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…”

00:21 – The real problem isn’t desire changing—it’s not talking about it

00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast

01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause

02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence)

02:52 – Don’t compare to the past—it’s not the same anymore

03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire

04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts?

05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging

06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes

07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive

08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we’ve faced

09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido

10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women

11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction

12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too

13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire

14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido

15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms

16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us)

17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year

18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained

20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous

22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns

23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention

24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure

25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what’s changed

26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you’re wired now, not then

27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency

28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart

29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge

29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review