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October 3, 2023 24 mins

In this episode, you'll explore the critical role of agreements during times of conflicts in your own marriage. Just like any game, your marriage really only works on the adherence to certain rules or guidelines, then everyone can have fun playing the game! While your marriage involves various agreements for different aspects of life, the most vital ones are those designed for navigating conflicts. These agreements, treated as laws, encompass actions for you to take or avoid when emotions run high, including refraining from yelling, name-calling, bringing up past grievances, or storming out without communicating the need for a break. 

Beyond mere verbal promises, these agreements demand your genuine commitment and personal responsibility. Emotions are viewed as data, not directives, and you're encouraged to recognize your emotions, calm your nervous system, and pause when necessary. Even when your partner fails to uphold their agreements, this episode stresses the importance of your personal integrity and establishing minimum acceptable standards for yourself, ultimately providing you with a roadmap for resolving conflicts constructively and maintaining a healthy marriage.

Resources:

NEW DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It’s the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it’s only $19.

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