Agatha Christie - 01 - Elephants Can Remember

Agatha Christie - 01 - Elephants Can Remember

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Elephants Can Remember by Agatha Christie read by John Moffatt,
Chapter one, a literary luncheon. Missus Oliver looked at herself
in the glass. She gave a brief sideways look towards
the clock on the mantelpiece, which she had some idea

(00:21):
was twenty minutes slow. Then she resumed her study of
her coiffure. The trouble with Missus Oliver was, and she
admitted it freely, that her styles of hair dressing were
always being changed. She had tried almost everything in turn,
a severe pompadour at one time, then a wind swept
style where you brushed back your locks to display an

(00:41):
intellectual brow. At least she hoped the brow was intellectual.
She tried tightly arranged curls. She tried a kind of
artistic disarray. She had to admit that it did not
matter very much to day what her type of hair
dressing was, because to day she was going to do
what she very seldom did. Wear a hat. On the

(01:03):
top shelf of Missus Oliver's wardrobe there opposed four hats.
One was definitely allotted to weddings. When you went to
a wedding, a hat was a must, but even then
Missus Oliver kept two, one in a round band box
fors of feathers. It fitted closely to the head and
stood up very well to sudden squalls of rain if
they should overtake one unexpectedly as one passed from the

(01:26):
car to the interior of the sacred edifice or so
often nowadays a registrar's office. The other, and more elaborate
hat was definitely for attending a wedding held on a
Saturday afternoon in summer. It had flowers and chiffon, and
a covering of a yellow net attached with mimosa. The

(01:47):
other two hats on the shelf were of a more
all purpose character. One was what missus Oliver called her
country house hat, made of tan felt, suitable for wearing
with tweeds of almost any hatten, with a becoming brim
that you could turn up or turn down. Missus Oliver
had a cashmere pullover for warmth and a thin pullover

(02:09):
for hot days, either of which was suitable in color
to go with this. However, though the pullovers were frequently worn,
the hat was practically never worn, because really, why put
on a hat just to go to the country and
have a meal with your friends. The fourth hat was
the most expensive of the lot, and it had extraordinarily
durable advantages about it, Possibly, Missus Oliver sometimes thought, because

(02:34):
it was so expensive. It consisted of a kind of turban,
of various layers of contrasting velvets, all of rather becoming
pastel shades, which would go with anything. Missus Oliver paused
in doubt, and then called for assistance Maria. She said,
then louder Maria, come here a minute. Maria came. She

(02:59):
was used to being ours to give advice on what
Missus Oliver was thinking of wearing. Go away your lovely
smart hat, are you, said Maria, Yes, said missus Oliver.
I wanted to know whether you think it looks best
this way or the other way round. Maria stood back
and took a look. Well that's back to prant. You're
wearing it now, isn't it. Yes, I know, said missus Oliver.

(03:21):
I know that quite well, but I thought somehow it
looked better that way. Why should it, said Maria. What
it's meant, I suppose, But it's got to be meant
by me as well as the shop that sold it,
said missus Oliver. Oh why do you think it's better
the wrong way round? Because you get that lovely shade
of blue and the dark brown, and I think that
looks better than the other way, which is green with

(03:43):
the red and the chocolate color. At this point, missus
Oliver removed the hat, put it on again, and tried
it wrong way round, right way round and sideways, which
both she and Maria are just approved of. Well, you
can't have it the white way. I mean, it's wrong
for your face. Isn't it be wrong for it any
one's face? No, that won't do. I think I'll have

(04:04):
it the right way round after all. Well, I think
it's safeer all ways, said Maria. Missus Oliver took off
the hat. Maria assisted her to put on a well cut,
thin woolen dress of a delicate puse color, and helped
her to adjust the hat. You look ever so smart,
said Maria. That was what missus Oliver liked so much

(04:24):
about Maria. If given the least excuse for saying so,
she always approved and gave praise. Going to make a
speech at the luncheon, are you, Maria asked a speech.
Missus Oliver sounded horrified. No, of course not, you know,
I never make speeches. Well, I thought they always did
at these here literary luncheons. That's what you're going to,

(04:46):
isn't it, famous writers of nineteen seventy three or whichever
year it is we've got to Now. I don't need
to make a speech, said missus Oliver. Several other people
who like doing it will be making speeches, and they
are much better at it than I would be. Oh,
I'm sure you'd make a lovely speech if you put
your mand to it, said Maria, adjusting herself to the

(05:06):
role of a tempter. No I shouldn't, said missus Oliver.
I know what I can do. When I know what
I can't, I can't make speeches. I get all worried
and nervy, and I should probably stammer or say the
same thing twice. I should not only feel silly, I
should probably look silly. Now, it's all right with words.
You can write words down, or speak them into a machine,

(05:29):
or dictate them. I can do things with words, so
long as I know it's not a speech I'm making.
Oh well, I hope everything will go all right, but
I'm sure it will quite a grand luncheon, isn't it. Yes,
said missus Oliver in a deeply depressed voice, quite a
grand luncheon, and why, she thought, but did not say,

(05:52):
why on earth am I going to it? She searched
her mind for a bit, because she always really like
knowing what she was going to do, instead of doing
it first, wondering why she had done it afterwards, I suppose,
she said again to herself and not to Maria, who
had had to return rather hurriedly to the kitchen, summoned
by a smell of overflowing jam which happened to have

(06:13):
on the stove. I wanted to see what it felt like.
I'm always being asked to literary lunches or something like that,
and I never go