Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The secret to well being is discovering the power that
is your birthright, the power to create a happier, healthier
life drawn from our own vast internal resources. Join Jeules
and her guests as they gently guide you to shift
your perspective from the familiar negative to the divinely connected,
a place that will not only positively impact your world,
(00:22):
but possibly shift the planet. It's all right here on
Law of Attraction Talk Radio.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Well, welcome to Law of Attraction Talk Radio. I'm Jules
from beautiful southern California. Tonight, no matter what your age is,
you're going to get some real wisdom from a brilliant
woman who is now eighty five years old. Lowest West
Bristow is going to help you understand that the older
(00:50):
you get, the more you can see your own character
and strength, and even more important, have a better understanding
of what your life is all about. Truth is, you
finally are able to see life on life's terms, which
brings a tremendous amount of freedom, peace and contentment. I
(01:13):
think the message tonight is to embrace your aid, your wrinkles,
your extra pounds, because we understand that birth and death
are simply phases of your life and that you and
your loved ones continue on and when we realize that
our fear of death subsides, and the older I get,
(01:38):
the more I realize that there is more to me
and this world than what I am able to see.
I do not believe that death exists. I believe we
continue on. And interestingly enough, science is now proving that
(01:58):
not only does conteousness survived death, that personal consciousness continues
to have memories, as evident by near death experiences in
which the brain is officially dead and the person comes
back to life with new memories of seeing their bodies
(02:18):
and the activities that happened after the moment of death. Now,
I know that there are many of you who continue
to talk to a friend or family member or a
loved one that has died, and I do the same thing.
As a matter of fact, yesterday I heard crashing noises
(02:41):
outside in my backyard and I went running because I
left my cat outside. Just as son, I noticed that
my neighbor's pitbull dug a hole underneath the fence and
was running very excitedly in my backyard. Well, I got
the dog out of the backyard and I started looking
for my cat and Finally I heard him crying, and
(03:04):
he was in my other neighbor's tree way high up
and he couldn't get down. Unfortunately, those neighbors were not
at home, so I couldn't get into their backyard, And
for about forty five minutes, my cat was on the branch,
crying and trying to figure out a way to come down.
(03:26):
It was getting close now to dark, and I thought,
oh my, I don't think that there's a ladder that
is going to reach high enough, and surely if Tiger
jumped down from that height he would break something. I
kept on talking to the cat to calm him down,
(03:47):
and then I thought to myself, Dad, please guide Tiger
down safely. There's got to be a way to coax
him down, and Ty was my dad's cat. I just
kept on saying in my mind, Dad, please help Tiger
(04:08):
to find a way down. Well. Surprisingly, within a few minutes,
Tiger jumped down to a lower level that he was
too afraid to jump down to before, and that was
close enough to allow him to jump out of the
(04:28):
tree without harm. Now it could have been a coincidence,
but I think that cat could have been up there
for another hour or two until I was able to
get a huge ladder and get the cat down. So
I do believe that my deceased father showed Tiger where
(04:49):
to land and to guide him. And you know what,
I know that after I transition, I'm still going to
be around to help my loved one as well. The
bond of love simply cannot be broken that easily, just
as energy cannot die. I will always be there whenever
(05:12):
my loved ones need me. That's just how it's going
to be. So I want you to sit back, relax,
and get comfortable, because tonight is all about this tremendous
deep wisdom from the brilliant eighty five year old Lois
(05:32):
west Bristow, PhD and noted author of the book Death
Comes Not as a stranger, befriending death and finding peace.
We're going to be right back after these messages, so
stay too.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You're listening to Law of Attraction Radio Network, enhancing the
well being of millions of listeners worldwide. La radionetwork dot
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(06:09):
source of Daily Inspiration at la radionetwork dot com.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Hey, what's up everyone? Since Jay Warren here, professional basketball
player and entrepreneur, and I want to give a testimonial
for a good friend of mine, Jules Johnson. I call
a good friend because before I had met her, I've
been listening to her Law of Attraction radio show for
over two years. Just the information she shared on the
show was amazing that I had to connect and reach
out to this moment after I reached out to her,
(06:38):
when we spoke, I had a conversation and she suggested
some sessions to me. And just with those couple of
sessions that she has gave me, I've seen the dramatic
results in my life. It's been mind blowing on just
what a couple of sessions with her have done for me.
You know, she's very humble, she's very honest, but she
knows her information. She knows the law of attraction, and
she knows the barriers that are keeping you from moving
(07:01):
forward in your life. You're a big believer in the
law of traction, hypnosis, whatever on how these kids to
do Johnson for you, because she will definitely lead you
down the path that you need to go. So thanks
to giving Jules. I love you very much, Garifine.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Okay, we are back. We are going to get right
into it because Lois is just so wonderful to talk to,
and she is so many great stories that I want
you to hear. Talking with Lois makes me look back
and actually see how much we humans have evolved in
(07:36):
the last eighty years. I also love this interview because
I've got to admit I am loving being sixty one
years old. I am loving the aging process, something that
I've dreaded in my thirty forties and the even fifties.
There is something so special about it, and I feel
(07:57):
like I'm thriving more today than I did in my
younger years. So this is the show tonight about birth,
aging and then knowing that when we transition, we are
going into another great adventure, that which we call death.
(08:18):
Doctor Lois west Bristow has had a wonderful and yet
at times a very tragic life, but she never stopped
her journey, even through the death of her son Brad.
She is a mother to three children, became a teacher,
a builder, developer, and even entered into politics, and at
(08:44):
age seventy six, she went back to school to get
her PhD, which she got at the age of eighty. Today,
at the age of eighty five, she is extremely active
in her private practice and writing books filled with humor
and incredible wisdom. Her book, Death Comes Not as a
(09:07):
Stranger is literally literally one of the best books I
have ever read, and it was an exceptional experience. I
loved laughing as I was reading, and I picked up
the tremendous wisdom that only age can provide. Truly, this
(09:29):
book is phenomenal and everyone of every age should read
it to fully understand what aging is all about. It's
really really tremendous. With that, I would love to introduce
you to doctor Lois west Bristow, PhD. Welcome Lois to
(09:54):
Law of Attraction Talk Radio. I'm delighted to be here
and I'm delighted to have you because I read this book,
Death Comes Not as a Stranger, and I've got to
say that it is so brilliantly written. It's such an
easy read, and it kept my attention all the way
(10:19):
through and it's like I want more, I want more.
Speaker 4 (10:22):
It is.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Just a dynamite book that I think is a must read.
And I'm not just saying that I truly believe that
this is a magnificent book.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
That brings me great joy to hear you say that
readers have responded very positively, and your response is over
the top. I thank you my pleasure.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
I mean, it was just a pleasure reading it, and
it just makes you feel so good. It actually showed
me where we were way back when as opposed to
where we are today and the growth of humanity towards
the subject whereas death is still an unknown, it is
(11:20):
nothing really to be afraid about. You've had a brilliant,
brilliant life, and I it's just such a pleasure to
know you. Because at age seventy six, which is in
the book, you started to go back to school. And
we're going to get into that a little bit more.
(11:42):
But the message that you're conveying is aging is not
anything to be afraid of. I mean, it's wonderful to age.
And that's what the message is all about. To enjoy
our at every stage of our life.
Speaker 4 (12:03):
Yes, every stage of our lives has its ups and downs.
I mean, life isn't a cakewalk. We all know that,
and life is joyous. We all know that. When we're
a little kid, we want to be a grown up,
so nobody can be boss us around and tell us
when we have to go to bed why we have
to do our homework. Then we're grown up and we think, oh,
yis we have to support ourselves out. This is not
(12:24):
so fun either. So every single age has its pluses
and minuses. I believe that old age has more pluses
than minuses. I think we're finally into a place where
we know who we are, we have a deep satisfaction,
and the trivia bothers us less. I think if we're lucky,
(12:47):
we get old. Yes, and to dread it. I mean.
People want to live long lives, and they're consistency, Oh,
I want to live a long life. While they adamantly
are just very very definite about not wanting to get old.
(13:08):
They want a life where they can stay sometimes where
between thirty five and fifty, say, and live a long life.
And we haven't figured that out yet. Long lives take long.
Old age takes is made up of long lives, and
the lucky ones live long. And I think more and
(13:31):
more our focus now is on health, and health did
not used to be a very popular subject. Being young
and sexy and gorgeous and wrinkle free was a very
popular subject.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
And it still is. If you turn on the TV set.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Yes, I no longer have TV. I'd really don't have
time to watch it anymore. But in the ads they
are there to tell you if you just use this
face scream, you can turn back the clock. Now, you
don't turn back the clock. What you do, if you
can change your lifestyle and be healthy, or if you're
(14:13):
blessed with good health, is that you will live longer,
but you won't be any younger. The age is what
is on the driver's license, which should correspond with what
is on the birth certificate after No matter how much
facecream you use, the birthday after fifty is fifty one.
(14:38):
It is not forty nine, forty eight, forty seven, forty six.
There are no magic potions. Let it be fifty one
and look forward to the day when for me it's
eighty five. I love being eighty five. I wonder sometimes
if I will have time to finish all that I
still want to do. I have more books than the works.
(15:01):
But in the meantime I wake up in the morning
grateful that I'm eighty five years old and healthy.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Why did you feel the need to write this book
because it's very powerful.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
It's a myth, it's a combination. I was doing my
dissertation or planned it, and had developed work throughout the
year that I had planned to use in the dissertation
on the increments of transformation, the Yung's process of individuation,
how we learn and grow and become more of who
(15:38):
we are. And my advisor we were talking on the phone,
and my advisor said, why don't you look at being
a little more specific, say the transformative process or the
individuation process and old age. And I didn't hear the
(16:00):
rest of the sentence. And I was listening and listening
because I don't hear well at all. And he came on.
I said, he said, that was an interesting silence. And
I said, well, I'm waiting for the rest of the sentence.
And he was very clear and he said and death,
and so oh oh okay, yeah, yeah, I can do death.
(16:23):
I said, I have a do not resuscitate on my
refrigerator door, and I want him to know that I'm
on board. In the meantime, I am thinking, or simultaneous,
I'm thinking about what fun is it going to be
to for a solid year Because I planned to finish
my dissertation one year and did do that.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
And to remind everyone, you were seventy six years old
at that time, or I was.
Speaker 4 (16:54):
Eighty. I finished my dissertation and gave my oral defense
five weeks after my eightieth birthday.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Amazing. Wow.
Speaker 4 (17:03):
So I thought, I'm going to have to just study
death and dying. Death and dying. I actually it was
a fascinating, intriguing, exhilarating, profound experience for me to go
into such depths. And the advantage of being old is
(17:26):
that you have a deep, wide, extensive base of experience.
And I was able to pull the experiences I had
and weave them into the theories and the information of
(17:47):
the doctoral program. So it was a definite advantage. And
after the doctoral program, I decided I was going to
write a book called Huff and Puff and Pray to
the Moon Increments of Transformation again on how we grow
and learn throughout life. And I also began to feel
(18:12):
because in the dissertation I had a chapter on death.
When you study working with old age, death is right
here with us. It is a part of our lives,
just like birth is a part of our lives. So
(18:33):
I thought, you know, there's a book. I think I'll
write a book too about Death Comes Not as a Stranger.
And somehow within me, that book just drew my energy.
The other one was much further along, and I pretty
well started from scratch on Death Comes Not as a Stranger,
(18:55):
and I learned so much more than I had learned
writing the dissertation. Additional, it's like the dissertation gave me
a phenomenal foundation on which to build the book, and
I tapped in ah to personal experience, because I feel
(19:20):
that people find it real and applicable to their own lives.
When they know that it's happened to someone else, it's
like they're not alone. They know the fears, they know
the frustrations, they know the joys, and they want to
know more because death is just now coming out of
(19:45):
the closet where you can discuss it, and that's blessed.
The baby boomers. They are the ones who are shifting
the population, you know, the demographic of a population, so
that death must be addressed. For them, it's very real.
(20:06):
They have aging parents, they are now entering the first
stages of old age. So they're saying, we want to
look at it differently, we want to know more. We
don't want what's happening to our parents to happen to us.
And they have brought a fresh face, a fresh voice,
(20:28):
and I am very very indebted to them for what
is happening in bringing death out the way it can
be the word can be said.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
I liked what you said too, in that we don't
necessarily want to live as our parents did with the
health problems and always at the doctors and everything. We
want to go on and extend and live a full
life and go back to college at age seventy six
(21:01):
and get a PhD at age eighty. We want those
things to occur because it's always been said that you
have to you're going to grow old and you're going
to be decrepit and you can't really do anything your
brain goes. But that's a falsehood. That's just not true.
(21:22):
And you have proven to us, Wait a minute, we
can stay alert, alive and fully engaged in life all
the way up to the point of where we are
transitioning into the next phase, which that is what we
(21:42):
call death.
Speaker 4 (21:44):
Yes, yes, and the death process is the last stage
of what we call life. The right is part of
our life. I love the comments of Steve Jobs. When
he was in his death, his last words were, oh wow,
oh wow. And the beauty of that, the exhilaration of that.
(22:09):
I'm not wanting to sugarcoat old age. I mean, we
certainly have greater wisdom, greater understanding, greater consciousness if we
have been open to that process. But that's old age.
You know, exact sits do our eyes knee glasses, our
ears need hearing aides, our memory. My short term memory
(22:33):
just said to me one day, lady, if you want
to work like a crazy woman when you're eighty five
years old or eighty forty three to two, it's been
happening for quite a while. She said, I'm out of here,
go ahead and work. And she comes back. I sort
of have a relationship with her that I greet her
warmly when she comes back, even though I have been
abandoned on many occasions. And she'll come back with the
(22:58):
name that I was looking for two weeks ago and
don't need anymore. But it's she's an irresponsible short term memory,
and that's part of age. It's part of age. Every
single stage of life has its pluses and minuses. We
(23:20):
no longer have the pressure of raising a family. We
no longer have the pressures of earning enough to keep
up with things. We have different needs. It's a different stage.
And I am so relieved that good health is now
(23:41):
becoming acceptable. I mean, when I was growing up, somebody
that exercised every morning and only eight you know, vegetables,
was one of those health not crazy people. And now
we're saying, you know what, it pays off to eat
good food and the bad food makes us sick. And
(24:04):
as we realize that we will become a healthier nation.
Right now, as a nation, we don't eat well. Yeah,
and now as a nation, it is coming too out
of the closet. It is being publicized and talked about
(24:26):
and researched. Very very good news for people who are
not yet old. But we'll get there. They hope to
begin to take care of themselves. And of course I
was blessed with good geens. I'm just very healthy. I
(24:46):
don't take any medication, probably why I'm healthy, Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So anyway, that's well.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
You talked about your experience with childbirth, and I thought, wow.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
That is with my experience with what childbirth?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Oh yes, in the beginning of the book, and that
just signified to me the difference that happened then as
to as opposed to where we are today. Could you
share that story with us.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
It was a crazy story. I was so thrilled to
be pregnant. Went to the doctor that was known in
the community as being the doctor, and he had not
examined yet. But I shared my philosophy's child. But I
think this is really important that my doctor knows, you know,
how I feel about and that I wanted to nurse
(25:42):
my baby. And he was just totally disgusted with the
whole idea. He said, modern mothers do not nurse their children.
They use Similac. It's a much better product.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Better than mothers. Mac is amazing and I.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Have spot been spotting. And he said, well, if you
want to save the baby, you'll have to stay off
your feet. And I said, I'm teaching school to put
my husband through graduate school. I can't just stay off
my feet.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
They were trying, the doctors, the hospitals were trying to
remove the mother from the birthing experience exactly by keeping
them drugged.
Speaker 4 (26:23):
Right. A friend of mine did not know what her
baby was, girl or boy until the next day, and
I thought, no, I want to be there when I
have a baby. I want to be awake, I want
to be there. I didn't even want a spinal. I
was very glad to have fast labors. By the way,
I wonder how determined I would feel if I'd labored
(26:44):
five days anyway. So yes, it was almost like, this
is what's convenient for the doctors who go to the hospital.
You know, they induce labor often they don't induce labor
much anymore, and then give you a spinal one take
the baby.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
But you had to do your due diligence to actually
find a doctor that would allow you to not have
a spinal and to would accept your philosophy about nursing
and and having the baby. Yeah, and for you to
(27:27):
be president. And I thought, my goodness.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Well that was sixty two years ago, my daughter's sixty two.
I left the doctor's office in hysterics, just sobbing all
the way home, and then tried to calm myself and
began went right to the phone book and began to call,
you know, of such an obstetition and kind of call
it just obstetition doctors and the first couple. I mean,
(27:52):
I'm just blibering I'm blah blah blah blah, and I
want to nurse my baby. And I went to have
a spinal. Was that okay if you're a doctor, And
they came back saying, well, I think you better call
somebody else. Don't this salon in our office. But finally
I reached doctor back, and thank goodness, his name began
with me. I don't know how I would have hung
in there if I was into the tease, you know.
(28:14):
So he was very calm. He said, yes, I I
do encourage nursing. I don't give spinals. And he gave
me the book to read called Childbirth Without Fear, and
it was the only thing available anywhere on natural childbirth
at the time. And I mean, the most unbelievable experience
(28:39):
is the miracle of birth. Of course, I barely got
there for the last two I thought, you know what,
I really bother a hospital next time. But it's probably
why you two like, wam, here's a baby.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Yes, but that is we have you to thank actually
for preshing that with the doctors and allowing people to
understand more that we didn't have to live life by
the medical profession. We as mothers could participate like we
(29:16):
did in the eighteen hundreds when having a child.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Yes, but I don't take any credit at all. I
think that there was a collective unconscious becoming aware.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
There you go.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
I think I was not the only young woman giving birth. Yes,
I wanted to be different. I want to be there.
I want to be a part of this. This is
a new life coming through me. And I think it
was part of a collective awareness that was emerging because
(29:48):
it began all over and hospitals began to respond having
birthing rooms and the fathers could be there, and you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
That is so important and actually it's important for the child.
I mean, it just breeds healthy children.
Speaker 4 (30:12):
Yes, Yes, it places the father in a position of
opportunity that they've been denied for many years, right, And
I'm glad that that is over to where they are
there to participate, the coach in labor, they take a
part in it. I know my grandson quote caught the
(30:35):
baby and they become naturally more involved in the parenting
of infants. Well, of course the mother nurses and they
kind of wonder what can I do? But being present
at birth, I feel has been a powerful step forward
(30:57):
in involving fathers in parenting. Usually for many, many years,
fathers were the disciplinarians and they went to work and
the mother stayed home and did all of this stuff,
including parenting. And of course our society has changed, our
economy has changed. Both parents work outside the home. When
(31:17):
people say that mothers don't work when they stay home,
I've never been home.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
They haven't witnessed.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
There.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
So you did stay home raising your children.
Speaker 4 (31:34):
I stayed home until they were in school, and then
I taught, but never more than three years. Teachers would say, well,
then you won't get tenured. And I said, if this
district doesn't know I'm a good teacher, I don't belong
in this district. Invariably I got a letter from the
(31:55):
board of Education welcoming me back when I decided to come.
So I talked to two years or three years, stayed
home a year or two years, so that I wasn't
that far removed. Of course, in those days, you got there,
you know, fifteen twenty minutes before the kids, and you
left fifteen or twenty minutes after the kids. So my
(32:17):
kids did not feel that I worked. Sheridan would say
to me, you know, I always thought of you as
being home, but you actually worked outside. But teaching was
a good avenue. Then. Of course, life changes, kids grow up,
and I did more professionally, taught anywhere all the way up.
(32:41):
I didn't teach full time in high school. I worked
with high school students one on one extensively, helping them
shift their relationship with school and seeing it differently, and
working with teachers to help them reframe this teenager that
they said, don't care what sixteen year old boy is
(33:03):
going to say he cares when he's not doing well. No,
of course he cares. So and I taught at the
graduate level of a couple of universities. I taught at
community college as adjunct.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
So and you went into business as far as building homes,
is that correct?
Speaker 4 (33:24):
Yes? That was one one venture. My son is a
builder and lived in Oregon. And when we moved up
to Oregon and built these the first pass the solar
town homes in Oregon. But it was at a time
when they were raising interest rates to stop inflation, and
(33:50):
so they raised the interest rates while we were in
construction to like twenty three and twenty four percent. So
all they that were sold people no longer qualified. Two
would drop out another would drop. We sold them from
the models in the you know, the construction trailer office.
(34:13):
So finally four people paid cash. Just said, you know,
I can't mess with this loan stuff. And one person,
who was the largest payroll in the county, went to
his bank and says, finance this. I want to use
it for when visitors come as a place to stay,
(34:34):
and otherwise I will go across the street with my payroll.
And then he got a loan on his place. And
essentially it was a turning point because I lost all
of what I had saved for retirement. It was I
remember saying, God, I've lost everything, and I said, stop, Lowis,
(34:54):
you have not lost everything. You have lost money, money
comes and goes, you have not lost your health, you
have not lost people valuable to you. You haven't lost
your mind yet. And it was something I didn't want
(35:15):
to do every Sunday afternoon, thank you, but it was
not something that would destroy me. And interestingly enough, a
group came to me and asked me if I would
run for county commissioner. So I asked them, is that
a real job in California? We have county supervisors? And
(35:36):
is it? Yes? I knew in my bones immediately that
I would run and win. I didn't tell anyone that
because that's not something you say when you're running. And
I organized my campaign as though I still had my
(35:56):
consulting firm, only I was the only staff member like
consulting firm. We were you know, ten and twelve, and
I sold it out. Those were in house people that
got paid on Fridays, and then we had forty to
fifty contract professionals. So there I was sitting down and
(36:17):
reading every single thing I could find out on campaigns.
And there was one book and it was called In
the Running and it was the first book telling the
stories of the first women who were making it into
politics on their own powerful book.
Speaker 2 (36:39):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (36:41):
So I ran as an independent for some odd reasons
that that's the way it was. It was too late
to change. And you lose thirty percent or twenty percent
on each side the people that will party, so I
knew that I they had to do a great deal
(37:02):
of work and I ended up with fifty percent. So
it was an exciting, hard working, interesting experience.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
So you fifty Did you win the election?
Speaker 4 (37:15):
Oh? Yes, by a landslide?
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (37:18):
Yeah. The three candidates when we finally finished. I didn't
run in the primaries. I campaigned in the crime primaries,
and ah I they each received twenty two or twenty
three percent. There was a slight undervote. I had a
forty nine point eight percent.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
I think, wow, that is fabulous.
Speaker 4 (37:43):
So I loved it. I loved my time in public
office because you're right next to the people you serve.
They came into the office and tell you their problems.
One guy came in and he said, young lady, I
(38:03):
pay your salary. And I said, yes, I know. I said,
I don't know about the young. By that time, I
was fifty three. It was young. But I do know
you pay my salary. And you know, not too long ago.
I looked at a part of the general fund that
came from the taxpayers, and I computed my salary. It's
custing you about twenty eight cents a year. I do
(38:25):
hope I'm worth that. He laughed and sat down and
he said, I said, what's your problem? And he showed
me his problem, and I said, this is what I'll do.
I'm bound by the law just like you are. I
will research it. I will see if I can do something.
If I can't do something, If that's the case, I'll
do it, and if I can't, I will tell you why. Yeah,
(38:47):
it was fun.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
It seems like nothing stops you and that you can
and you have truly created the life that you wanted
to live. I mean, and it's in every way. But
you had something very traumatic happened to you in that
you had your son Brad. Yes, ye, yes, tell us
(39:12):
about that experience.
Speaker 4 (39:14):
Let me just say one comment on create my life.
I am creating my life and I am creating it
on my own terms, but I still have more work
to do.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
That's Bryan.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
Brad was my oldest son. My daughter Sheridan is my
oldest child. I have two sons, Brad and Derek, and
I tell people I fluntwifree, but I loved motherhood and
it was very difficult for me to make the decision
to leave my marriage. But I needed to do that
(39:50):
to survive emotionally. And so Brad was a builder, and
when when I was building my house, he was so
helpful and his good friend Ed, who was the largest
roofer in California at the time. I had a riffing company,
(40:11):
and he gave me the roof just to you know,
he said, what do you want, slate Kyle, and I said, no,
I can't. I'd looked into the price. I said, I
can't take that much. So I have the very best
composition fifty year roof on my house that will outlast
me by far. And Ed and Brad came up once
(40:32):
a year to celebrate Mama's house. And they loved door
doors and I would cook orders for the morning, or
durs for noon, or doors for late afternoon. They would
bring good wine and we would have our holiday. And
they were coming and it was strange because I couldn't
bring myself to cook. And I said to my friend
(40:54):
who was sitting on the couch, I don't know what's
going on, but I know Brad won't come. And then
Brad called and he said, the engineers have squared about,
you know, squared up the drawings. We're all set to go.
We're going to plow straight through the weekend because we've
got to, you know, get back on schedule. It was
a big project. So we he's a call Ed. He's
(41:18):
upside down up to his alligators, you know stuff, and
we'll put it out. He said, I'll need three weeks out.
So we said it again for three weeks and that
was Friday, and the very next day, I don't know why,
I decided to organize my garage and you know, put
some things where they go. And I found an old
(41:40):
houseful phone with a spiral cord on it, and my
phone by the bed was not working, so I brought
it in and plugged it in. The first time it rang,
it was at midnight, and I had laid the fire
in the woodstow of the night before so I could
light it in the morning. And the phone rang and
(42:02):
it was a friend of mine, and she said, can
I come see you? And I said, of course. Where
are you? She said, in your driveway. I said, well,
come right in, and I thought she needed something and
had turned to me. So I lit the fire and
opened the door, and she came in and sat down,
(42:23):
and she said, Brad is dead. Derek would not want
me to be alone when you knew. So I don't know.
I it's like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see how
I could live. I couldn't register how he died. Of course,
(42:47):
I've talked to my son and family and everybody, and
stay Kate, my friend, stayed until about five o'clock and
I packed a suitcase that got in the car and
drove to LA and picked up my friend ed on
the way down. And there was an unreal time. I
(43:11):
didn't see how I was going to be able to live.
But we do live. We must live. It's our responsibility
to live. The way that we can honor someone dear
who has died is to live our lives as fully
(43:32):
as we can possibly live them, to know the value,
to thank them for the example of appreciation of what
life means. And a year after and I mourned. A
friend of mine had said that I said, to deny
(43:53):
the grief is to diminish the gift. I did not
deny my grief. I did not walk black shrouded to town.
I agreeed totally. And that at the end of a year,
and when people came to me for like life coaching,
(44:14):
and when they finished, I didn't replace anybody. I just
went through my ear. And at the end of the year,
I'm sitting in the fire in front of the woodstove firing,
and it's February and it's raining, and I'm thinking I
must now face my life. I must fill the spots
when they're empty with people who want to come. I
(44:37):
must open my energy. And then I had what I
would call a waking dream. It was like I was
awake and there was a dream going on, and it
was in color, like I was watching a video, and
I was being prepared to be born. You know, dreams
are very imaginative. This full adult woman could certainly go
(44:59):
and be born. And there was a woman just several
people around, and they were just having quite it to
do it with a festive occasion, and she was fussing
over me and saying, oh, you will have three children.
They will bring you great joy. And then a man's
voice came on and I couldn't see him, but I
(45:19):
could hear him, and without emotion, he said, your older son,
your middle child, will be killed in an accident. Are
you sure you want to have this child? And I
thought I must have this child. And I was like
whispering urgently, like I must have this child, give me
(45:43):
this child. I have to have this child, Give me
this child. And then I thought lost, You had this child,
You had him for forty nine years. Your grief is irrelevant. Gratitude,
be grateful because you had the joy of forty nine
(46:06):
years of this boy. Who grew to be a wonderful man.
And it shifted how I looked at my life and
how I looked at death itself, and how I would
look at my death. It was a powerful gift from Brad. Wow.
(46:33):
And I miss him. Ah. I have quote Brad attacks
occasionally thinking how could I stand to continue? You know?
I just miss him? And then I talked to him.
I was with something like, you know, next time around,
you stay in line, children come after their parents. You
(46:56):
break the rules and he goes. He would have said,
when did I ever mind the rules? I mean, so
I go on and value. It brings one to a
keen point of awareness to feel life significance. And it
(47:18):
doesn't mean that everything is always right side up.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
You said that it made you look at your own death.
So here we are today, after you've lived this incredible,
fulfilled life. What do you think about death?
Speaker 4 (47:45):
I believe that one of the challenges of life, in
becoming conscious, must include a consciousness and acceptance of death
to free our energy so that we can move toward
death and feel at peace with it and acknowledge it
(48:06):
and know that we have a time.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
And what do you think happens with death? It's clear
with Brad that you think that life is not a
stopping point. It actually continues on.
Speaker 4 (48:28):
I think that this life on Earth is not a
stopping place. And I also did not other than just
a thumbnail sketch of many different religions and approaches. I
do not support any one person's faith over another. And
each one of us finds our own solutions in our
(48:50):
spiritual sacred arena of our lives. And I believe that
in physics we're nothing can be created nor destroyed. Matter
cannot be created nor destroyed. Neither is human life created
nor destroyed. It is an on going process. And I
(49:15):
I mean this was said far out. I have had
important communications from Brad, so I know there are entities,
that there is a spiritual world around us, and I
feel very connected to that and appreciative for that, and
(49:36):
have had, shall we say, numerous numerous experiences in my life.
And I came to that conclusion over the years. I
wasn't one situation that made me say, aha, now I
know the answer for me, and I point out that
it is the answer for me because people find that
(50:00):
way to the spiritual. There are so many avenues, so
many welcoming ways to turn. I, for me, need to
be in a situation where I don't rely on an
outside dogma to determine my ethical base. That is my responsibility,
(50:25):
and it's a big responsibility when you can't say, oh,
I'm sorry, you know, forgive me somebody else. Sticky is
running the shop. I'm running the shop in that sense.
Does that answer your questions?
Speaker 2 (50:38):
Yes? Yes. You have one paragraph in there that is
so beautiful. It says, if I may read it, it
says I could die tomorrow or twenty years from now.
For me, meaning comes not from how long I will live,
for death comes when it comes, but how I will
(51:01):
continue to live, something over which I can exert some influence.
For me, the question is not when I die, but
how I live until I die, and how I die.
That is so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (51:21):
Thank you, thank you. I think it's very logical, and
I think it's very reasonable too. Yes, this is what
we can We can make a difference in how our
lives unfold. Now, we can't make everything hunky Dory twenty
four to seven. And I've done a piece on happiness.
(51:42):
If you remember where today we have to be young,
fit and happy. Uh huh, impossible impossible thing, and the
systems around us are offering solutions, expensive solutions, all the time.
How we can be acceptable if we are young and happy?
And I think about happiness as one of many many emotions,
(52:06):
and I don't see how we can possibly sustain at
twenty four to seven. Who has the energy? Besides, there
are other emotions in the toolbox that we need to
use when they're appropriate. It's not appropriate to be happy
when your child has the flu, or when your husband
loses this job. But when you lose your job, or
(52:27):
when your best friend is just diagnosed in stage four cancer,
you pull out the emotions of compassion and love and
caring and generosity of yourself of being there for this friend.
We have anger that is destructive, and we have anger
that drives us to do better things. When we're angry
(52:49):
at injustice, at fraud, at cruelty, that is the anger
that rallies us to move forward and bring about change.
So all of those emotions have a place. It's our toolbox.
I like to think instead of happy, I use the
(53:12):
word content. Content is that deep feeling that says I'm
okay with myself, I am okay with my philosophy, with
my value system, with how I treat other people, with
my integrity, with my foibles. My foibles are numerous, like
(53:41):
everybody else, you know, we're human. So I think it's
contentment as the keel on the bottom of the sailing
ship that goes deep, deep, deep into the water, so
that we can go through the storms without capsizing, and
then we find the clear after the storm, the calm.
(54:04):
We have access then to all of our emotions and
we have contentment that will carry us through the rough spots.
And there are rough spots.
Speaker 2 (54:17):
That's life.
Speaker 4 (54:18):
That's life, yes, And there's death and there's death, and
it's nothing to be afraid of. Ye, it is nothing
to be afraid of. I certainly would not want to
live on this planet forever, decaying and decaying until I
qualified to get through the gate to go to death.
(54:40):
Now I would like to go out when it's time
to go out, and people are afraid of the pain.
Life is painful, Birth is painful, Illnesses are painful, broken
bones are painful. Our feelings are hurt and bring us pain.
(55:00):
Why should death be immune. There are more painless deaths
than there are painless births.
Speaker 2 (55:06):
M So it's much more peaceful than being birth.
Speaker 4 (55:16):
Yes, it's much more peaceful than being birth. And so many.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
People who are.
Speaker 4 (55:23):
Very close to that come to that acceptance. They're really
okay bout dying. They're ready. Ah, they're not afraid. Society
is afraid and feeds our fear by making us not
(55:45):
quite acceptable as.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
We get old, right, which is a shame, because we
can just tell with you your wisdom is to be
shared with all, and that's what creates a happy society
or a content society. I think your book is absolutely brilliant.
(56:12):
I love, love, love it, and I encourage everyone to
buy a copy. Buy just not one copy, buy a
couple of copies, give it as a gift because it
is such an enjoyable read and you can't help but
laugh all the way through it, and it is just beautiful.
(56:34):
But it brings this thing that we call life into
proper perspective and so that we can end with the
wisdom and joy and seeing what a magnificent life that
we really did have and the strength that we have
(56:55):
as character. So I think this is important for everyone
to read. Could you tell us how people can get
a copy of your book.
Speaker 4 (57:05):
My website is easy to remember, It's www. Like everybody
else's Lois West Bristol lowercase dot com.
Speaker 2 (57:18):
Lois West Bristol. Can you spell the Bristol for us?
Speaker 4 (57:23):
Yes, b R I S t o W. It's a
toe like we have two of them on our feet,
big toes and a toe to toe attract t ow
dot com, West Bristol dot com.
Speaker 2 (57:43):
Great, and I'll have a link on my show page
as well so that people can get it. Lois. Thank
you so much. And you know you wrote a fabulous
article in uh the last edition the decem issue of
the Signs Behind the Law of Attraction magazine and it
(58:05):
was so enjoyable. You really are an exceptional writer and
just like you have had an exceptional life. You can
tell you can feel the energy from you, and it
has truly been an absolute pleasure to talk with you today.
Speaker 4 (58:22):
Oh for me too. I cannot thank you enough. This
has been a gift from life for me, so appreciation abounds.
Speaker 2 (58:34):
Thank you, Lewis. Yep, we're like fine wine. We all
get better with age. That's it for this week. Have
a great week ahead, have fun, enjoy life, and we'll
talk to you again next week. Bye bye for now.
Speaker 1 (58:57):
Thank you so much for joining us. We'll be back
next week with another great show from Law of Attraction
Talk Radio. If you'd like to comment on tonight's show,
send an email to Jewels at LA radionetwork dot com
and have a great week