July 8, 2024 • 30 mins
Dr. Erika and Nurse Blue talk about healing the inner child; acknowledging mommy and daddy issues and childhood trauma that has impacted what you believe about yourself, your relationships, and your world view. We discuss the trauma response of fear, shame and guilt. We explore how to become an observer of your internal dialogue and self-talk. We encourage you to take responsibility for your life and make a decision about who you want to be, how you want to experience your relationships and how you view the world. We welcome you to be a part of our community of love, compassion, and acceptance. We invite you to join our Soul Health & Wellness Club where we share music, meditation, mindset coaching, and other natural modalities to reduce stress and heal from the inside out. Join us for a Free week of membership and connect with Dr. Erika & Nurse Blue at www.healthyminds.expert. https://loaradionetwork.com/dr-erika
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You're listening to the Law of AttractionRadio Network. Are you tired of the
I can't mindset, the I'm notgood enough mindset? Do you feel like
your negative thoughts control your life?Well, you came to the right place,
because in the next thirty minutes youwill learn how to break free from
(00:22):
the limiting mindset of anxiety, fear, victimization, depression, trauma, and
self hatred by reprogramming your subconscious mind. It's time to master your mind with
Doctor Erica. Hello, Hello,good people, and welcome to master your
mind with Doctor Erica. I amhere joined with my co hosts, a
(00:46):
partner in good Nurse Blue, Hello, everybody. Blue stands for Bill,
love you, n I and empowerpeople about our favorite subject, soul health.
We are the Sol Health and WellnessClub and we just welcome you today
as we do what we always do. We want to start with just an
(01:10):
acknowledgement that we are spiritual beings havinga human experience and we just want to
have a moment for breathing to comeinto our energy and into our bodies.
And so if you can wherever,you are welcome. Thank you for joining
us, and you're welcome. You'rewelcome my guests. Close your eyes if
(01:33):
you can, and let's just takea deep breath, breathing in. Just
allow yourself to center, center intoyour body, and release through your mouth,
releasing out anything that is unwanted,uneasy, disease, dis comfort,
(01:57):
stressful, anything, Just let itout again. Breathe in through your nose.
And as you're breathing in, Ialways visualize this beautiful, white,
healing light, life force energy thatis breathing into me, the life that
(02:20):
I am, the air that Ibreathe, and I'm releasing out anything that
doesn't serve me in a healthy way, any limiting beliefs, heavy emotions,
physical discomfort, any soul toxins,just release them. And so I just
want to welcome you today to ourSoul Health and Wellness Club. We're going
(02:44):
to talk today about mommy and daddytrauma. And you know the question is
are you struggling, Are you stillholding on to trauma from your mother and
your father or whoever raised you forthat matter, but who was a mother
(03:07):
or a father figure, Because themommy and daddy trauma that you might be
experiencing, or that maybe you thoughtyou were over with right might still be
impacting you today, and so wejust want to talk a little bit about
that. When he say about that, Nurse Blue, still mad and when
(03:31):
Mama did that at ten years old, you still stuck there. I'm still
mad that they told me Santa Clauswasn't real. That was trauma tizing for
me, doctor E. But ona serious no, no, this is
an area where personally I suffered fromthis for a long time, a long
(03:53):
time, and as a mother quitefrankly of a middle school a young girl
who I absolutely love my daughter,I'm always very much aware of how I
am correcting her and I say alot of I'm sorry because we make mistakes
(04:15):
and our and our kids, youknow, will push our buttons. I
feel. I believe my daughter shefinds nerves I didn't even know I had,
and she just let me go playon this nerve. Right. But
because of what I've gone through growingup, where you know, I was
a very sensitive child, very highlysensitive child, and so if you raise
(04:36):
your voice at me, it wouldit would just totally it would. It
would do something to my nervous system. You know, I suffered a lot
from anxiety from people yelling at me, and that wasn't necessary. You know,
some kids can take that. Ion the other hand, that you
(04:57):
know, that increase in the octa, it was of your voice, you
raising the vibration of your voice whenit was directed toward me. I felt
like I was the container for pain, pain and suffering and I did not
know how to process it. Andmy parents did a lot of things well,
but your feelings were something that ifthey were acknowledged at all, if
(05:23):
the feelings were acknowledged at all,it was it was not enough for me.
It was not enough. And Ifind that with my clients now.
You know, majority of the peopleI didn't that suffer from chronic stress.
It stress related to our past,My chronic stress over time from you know,
either I felt like my mother didn'tprotect me from I had an older
(05:48):
sibling. You know, guys,you have those big brothers, big sisters,
and they always talking about you ormaking fun of you, humiliating you.
That stuff track, that stuff overthe years can definitely steal impact you.
We don't get over everything. Andmy mother, I don't think she
realized how it impacted me. Shejust did not protect me in that way.
(06:11):
She didn't say not enough, shedidn't say, you guys stop.
You know, she allowed for itto happen, you know, And even
as much as my father, youknow, my father, I was very
close to him growing up, butthere were still some times in my life.
There was one particular time in mylife where my father did something and
it was so injurious to the heart, and he never acknowledged it. And
(06:33):
I think that's the hardest thing forpeople to get over when people don't aren't
willing to say I'm sorry, aren'twilling to validate your feelings, and your
left stay stuck there trying to figureout, now, what do I do
with what I'm feeling? If youjust would have said I'm sorry, yeah,
yeah, you know. It remindsme of I've been practicing for twenty
(06:58):
five years and mental health. Itreminds me of how every single person that
I've ever worked with, including myself, had this limiting belief of not being
good enough. And when we thinkabout where our beliefs come from, I
mean, think about that every humanbeing that I've ever worked with over twenty
(07:19):
five years, and I mean I'veseen thousands of people, they all have
this belief that they're not good enough. And our belief system is formed and
taught by our parents or our caretakers, who ever raised us. And so
(07:41):
when we talk about holding on togenerational trauma, holding onto emotions that in
beliefs that were formed in our childhood, that is all a reflection of our
parents. That's what we got fromthe messages of our mother, the message
of our father, and how thosemessages showed up over and over again in
(08:05):
our lives. And so if you'rereally being honest with yourself, then everyone
is holding on to some hurt feelings, to some limiting belief that you got
from your mother or your father oragain, like I say, you're caretaker,
(08:26):
you know, and that is somethingthat in order for you to really
heal, you have to become awareof that's right, And we've been taught
to run away from those things becausewhen you look at family patterns, oftentimes
we are inheriting patterns that are dysfunctionalbecause that was passed on to us.
(08:48):
You know, I think about,like, you know, majority of the
women in my life, I atleast my father was very much present in
my life and he played a majorrole. But a lot of my friends,
their parents, they suffer from parentalabandonment, and abandonment shows up on
a lot of different levels. Itcould have been because the parents started out,
you know, in a relationship inmarriage and then a divorce and then
(09:11):
one parent checked out. Abandonment couldbe because there was an untimely death,
yes, you know, abandonment couldbe you know they're still present, but
emotionally you're not connected. You seethem every day, and and then there's
like these I call it apathetic attention. It's it's it's no, it's very
(09:33):
little attention. Or you know,you're trying to do your best in school,
or you're trying to show up andwin on the team on the team
sports and your parents aren't at thegames, or they'd act like they don't
care. And so but then here'sthe other piece of it, doctor E
when I don't know if there's aterm for this, but I'm coming up
(09:56):
with it. It's called sibling differentialsyndrome. And what does that mean?
What a parent focused their attention onone of your siblings or one of the
children and the family they got allthe attention and then the other siblings suffered
(10:18):
from lack of attention. Yeah,that's preparential attention and you know what,
it's true because when doctor Emoto,a really famous scientist from Japan, did
his studies, he found that evenjust leaving the jar of right. So
(10:39):
he looked at three, you know, jars of rice. One he labeled
love, the other one he labeledhate. The other one was no label
and it was ignored. The ricethat was ignored was just as molded as
the rice that he spoke hate to. Wow. And so so it tells
(11:00):
you that whether you're being critical oryou know, demeaning, that's bad,
but ignoring and not giving attention toa child is just as harmful. Yes,
it's spiritual beings that it's impacting thenature of the spirit. And it
(11:22):
shows just how important and valuable andessential attention is. When you give your
attention to someone, you are sayingyou are worthy of my love, You
are worthy of my attention, youare worthy that I can give you my
(11:45):
energy. That's right, that's right. That's powerful. It is extremely powerful
because they're validating that you matter.Yes, if you show me you mad,
show me that I matter, youknow I think, show me that
I matter that. I'm not confusedwhen you say I love me and you're
not showing up, because that's whatcreates the cognitive dissonance when you say I
(12:07):
love you, but your actions arenot lining up with your words. Now
I'm confused. And so then howthat transpires into you know, when you
become of age, when you're dating, you know, you start selecting people.
Typically we're going to select people thatremind us or make us feel comfortable
based on our programming. So remindus of our mother, remind us of
(12:28):
our father, they feel familiar,you have something in common. But what
happens is you start dating people that'sa reflection of your past or reflection of
what you're carrying inside of you.Because energetically you're looking to heal that,
right, you really want to healthat, But how do you heal it?
You heal it by attracting a partnerthat will help you heal perhaps if
(12:50):
you are aware that that's why they'rethere, or you're going to attract a
person who's going to mirror it andyou're going to feel that same way in
that relationship. Oftentimes it is theperpetuation of the program because most people aren't
even aware that this ego, thispersona that you've created has been created from
(13:13):
your parents And so if you're holdingon to mommy and daddy trauma, if
you're still feeling some kind of way, being triggered some kind of way when
you think about your mother, oryour father or your caregiver, then I
want you to really take a deeperlook and ask yourself, why why am
(13:41):
I feeling this way? Why amI still being triggered by a thought or
a word or a song or amemory or whatever it is that is triggering
you, And ask yourself, whatmeaning did I give to this? What
(14:03):
is the meaning that I gave tothis experience with my mother or my father?
Because I think oftentimes, like yousaid, it's a generational thing.
Yeah, so they're teaching you whatthey learned. Yeah. Yeah. And
around the holidays, because Thanksgiving isnext week and Christmas is shortly behind.
(14:24):
As we start gathering with our friendsand our families and the people that make
these holidays special, Unfortunately, someof this stuff starts getting triggered, you
know, because when it's not dealtwith first and foremost with it over time.
The reason why it becomes chronic stressis because it sits right here in
this belly area, and it impactsyour personal power. It impacts that solar
(14:48):
plexus that we're working on now inthe Soul Health and Wellness Club. So
if we've carried childhood trauma, mommydaddy trauma from them being there, not
being there, making mistakes, notdealing with their own pain directing you know,
people who were I've met men whohearts are shut down because they were
beaten so much by their mothers andtheir fathers. That's tough love that in
(15:13):
order for them to survive, theyhad to going to a state of cognitive
dissonance to survive, and they nevercame out of it. And now their
hearts are shut down and they can'ttrust women, or they can't feel because
they've never dealt with that trauma andit's stored in that solar flexis in the
stomach, which is why a lotof people don't realize that's why you have
(15:33):
digestive issues. That's why I meanthat that region right there controls your immune
system, It controls your indocrine system, your indocannabinoid system, it controls your
autonomic your autonomic nervous system. Imean, this is real stuff that shows
up as chronic disease, you know, And there are a lot of people
(15:56):
that have don't realize we process allof this in our liver. You know,
You're pancreas is right there in thatin that region, and that's the
blood shoe. It regulates the bloodsugar levels. Okay, So what I'm
saying to you is that when youdon't deal with this stuff, it's gonna
deal with you one way or theother. That's why soul health is so
important, and that's why chronic diseaseis the lethal is as lethal as it
(16:18):
is because we don't realize that whathappened with your mother and your father,
and what happened with trauma from thattime in your life is showing up in
your diagnostic tests. When you holdyou're still holding on you're still holding on
to it. And you know thatwas one thing that the famous Freud,
you know, said, what youdon't express externally, you hold on to
(16:45):
internal, it's gonna show up.It's gonna express itself. And so it
is so important that you not onlybecome aware of it, because I think
most people don't even recognize that they'restill holding on to it. They just
know that when they get around theirfamily or like you say, they're gathering
with their friends, they get triggered, yes, and the trigger is your
(17:07):
body's intuitive telling you, wake up, okay, wake up. What they
just said is connected to a memory, connected to a belief, connected to
a meaning that you have given towhatever experience caused that initial trauma. Right
(17:32):
See, there was an experience inyour childhood or in your upbringing that caused
you to feel a certain way,and because of that, you begin to
believe that you weren't good enough.You were beginning to believe that people weren't
gonna love you, or you weregonna believing that people weren't gonna be there,
(17:52):
they were gonna abandon you. Whateverthat belief is you know that you
formed is still being triggered. Andso when you're triggered, you have to
ask yourself, why, what memory, what belief is underneath this emotion that
I'm holding on to? What isthe thought underneath the deeper meaning that I've
(18:19):
given? So that you can releasethat and you can begin to love that
that inner child that is still holdingon to that that insult, that emotional
insult, that that that you know, belief that you're not worthy, you're
not deserving, you're not good enough, you're not good enough for us to
(18:41):
give you attention. You're not goodenough for us to stick around. You're
not good enough for us to pourinto you whatever, whatever that that trauma
was or that experience was. Sowhen you get triggered, the first thing
you want to do is say,what what? What is the thought underneath
(19:03):
that? What am I feeling?And why am I feeling it? Where
does it come from? What happenedwith that person? Or what was that
experience that caused me to feel acertain way about myself? Yeah, because
that's where you really start doing thework. And I know that for many
(19:25):
years I ran away, which prolongedmy suffering because I ran away. But
the reason I ran away because Iwasn't taught to go and deal with my
inner self. And so for thoseof you who are listening to us right
now, I want to ask youto just I'm going to throw out some
questions here with just you know,give a yes and no quick yes or
no answer to it. If youwant to write them down, not the
(19:45):
questions, but the answers, thenfeel free to do so. But in
this area that we're talking about interms of past relationships, I mean,
think about this, are your relationshipswith your significant other or significant others in
your life. You're a f arethere strong? Is it strong? Supportive?
Is it satisfying to be around there? And if you're single, are
(20:07):
you happy with the relationships in yourlife as they currently are? Yes and
no? Okay, here's another one. My family relationships are loving and for
the most part, stress fee stressfree. Yes and no. Okay.
My friendships are authentic and mutually supportive. Yes or no. Here's the last
one. I enjoy being involved inmy community and feel that I am making
(20:32):
a difference in the lives of others. Yes or no? And I have
actually one more I have clicked though. I went to the soul Health community
dot so health community dot com andI set up my discovery call so I
can learn more about soul health soI can release the soul taxes in this
area. Now, if you havemore knows on this list than that means
(20:56):
you're holding on to some trauma frommommy, daddy, relationship, family issues
that we need to deal with.And it may not as been as bad
like where you're not speaking to yourparents or it created a problem. It
could be where you haven't spoken tothem in years. It could be that
they're not on the planet anymore,and you still you're still harboring, holding
(21:21):
onto this. But if in factthey are still here, that means that
you have time to deal with thisand maybe able to create a bridge or
a peace for yourself. But what, however, you want to resolve it.
Understand that holding on to it ispreventing you from living your best life,
and it is creating disharmony in yoursoul. And you're vibrating a lower
(21:44):
vibrational frequencies that were passed on toyou by the words or the actions of
the people who are in charge ofhelping you, you know, throughout life.
So free yourself, Baby, twentytwenty four is coming. Don't take
this with you. And you know, I think that people walk around they
wake up every day they feel heavy, They have no energy, they have
(22:10):
no motivation. They walk around andthey feel heavy. Ask yourself, what
is causing the heaviness? Yes,and I'm going to tell you the answer
is the low vibrational emotions that youare holding onto. The result tax,
the resentment, the anger, theshame, the guilt, right, the
(22:37):
sameness, the worry, the fear, right, all of these low vibrational
emotions are. You are carrying themon your body and they are weighing you
down. So don't think that youare escaping your past. Don't think that
(23:00):
you are moving out of the denial. No uh uh. As long as
you are feeling heavy, that isyour body telling you that you have some
emotions, some heavy emotions, pasttrauma or past emotions that you need to
release. That you have to freeyour body, in your mind and your
(23:23):
soul and your emotions from Yeah,because what keeps us trapped in those emotions
when we don't want to deal withthem. Number one, pride, Because
pride keeps you from seeing and fromfirst of all, pride keeps you from
hearing or seeing the truth. Yeah, okay, but it keeps you blinded,
and it keeps you blinded, andit keeps you bounded to that okay.
(23:48):
So, and the other thing isthat I always go back to this
situation with a family member of minewho was mad at their father for about
five so they didn't have any conversationat all, and then after he died,
they have lived with the rest oftheir lives of not ever going back
to correct it. And that's andshe shared with me, I regret that
(24:12):
every day when I wake up,I'm faced with that because I did not
have regret, regret, I didnot have the humility, because humility is
there to cancel out your pride.Humility there is is your saving grace,
(24:32):
so that pride does not rob youof the moment that you have the opportunity
to heal, no rob you fromliving your best life where you're living and
regret, which is another low vibrationalemerger, low vibrational frequency. You're absolutely
right, absolutely, And I justwant to say this because I think people
(24:52):
believe that if a person has passedor if you no longer have contact,
maybe you don't know where they live, you know, or they passed on,
that you can't forgive or you can'tmake amends, or you can't find
some resolve in that. And thatis not true. A person doesn't have
to be physically present for you torelease. You don't even have to communicate
(25:17):
face to face or directly with thatperson. It is really you making a
commitment to yourself that you are nolonger going to hold on to the emotions
or the trauma, or the memoryor the meaning of the experience. That's
really what you're saying. You're sayingthat from this day forward, I am
(25:41):
releasing my mind, my body,my soul. I'm in releasing myself from
that stronghold, that stronghold that camefrom what that experience was. And so
you don't need that person there physicallyto find the resolution to make amends,
(26:06):
to release from the emotion of thestronghold. And so just know that again,
we here in the Soul Health andWellness Club are all about freeing you,
freeing you from the soul toxins,giving you natural modalities and strategies to
help you free yourself from that MamaDaddy trauma, from the toxins, from
(26:33):
the strongholds that you might still beexperiencing and that are still weighing you down
every time. That's right, andone of the beautiful well two of the
most beautiful modalities to help you dothat is mastermind coaching, so that you
can you know, every healing isan elevated thought and it's an elevated emotion,
(26:53):
and so mastermind coaching and musicology areawesome. That's a beautiful, full
prescription to help you get there.So we want to invite you to come
and check out the Soul Health andWellness club that you've been talking that we've
been talking about now for quite sometime. You want to go to Soul
Healthcommunity dot com Soulhealthcommunity dot com andyou know, set up a discovery call.
(27:18):
If this is something you want towork on. Join us on Clubhouse.
Guys, we're having so much fun. Download the Clubhouse Clubhouse app and
come to our Soul Health and WellnessClub there or Nurse Blue the Home of
Blue Soul. And we're also inthe Women in Business House where we just
actually just finished affirmation music. That'sbeautiful for helping people to release the trauma
(27:44):
from mommy daddy wounds. But youdeserve to move past that. And you
may not get there waiting on somebodyto say I'm sorry, but you could
certainly get there with loving yourself enoughto do something about it. Absolutely,
And you can also go to mywebsite excuse me healthyminds dot expert that also
(28:06):
has to click the link to theSoul Health and Wellness Club. Ooh,
sorry about that. I was alsothinking that, you know, everyone needs
an opportunity for a second chance.And I think sometimes when we're heavy holding
(28:27):
onto our emotions, we just getso comfortable with the emotions and we just
say, you know what, I'mdone. I'm done. I don't want
that person in my life. Andyou know, I think if if I
if other people treated me that way, there's a lot that I would have
(28:48):
lost in my relationships along my journey. And so I want you to think
about giving yourself, excuse me,a second chance, giving yourself a second
chance at a loving relationship. Yes, come to a soul massage. Let
us love on you. This Saturday, ten am Eastern nine am Central Standard
(29:12):
time. We're focused on building personalpower because what happens is, as we
talked about through this through this showtoday, is that we want to rebuild
your personal power. And this isthe work that we're doing right now to
correct with the wrong that was donebefore. Correct the wounds. We're going
(29:33):
to heal them. You don't managewounds, We don't cope with wounds.
We heal them, build them.Yes, and everyone, I just want
to say, everyone deserves a secondchance at healing. None of us is
perfect. We're all human, weall make mistakes, we all hurt.
You know, we all go throughsimilar experiences. Give yourself a second chance.
(29:56):
Release the trauma, Let go andrelease and We're here to help you
do that. Connect with ussoulhealthcommunity dotcom, Healthyminds dot expert, and just
keep joining us, keep coming back. Thank you so much. Yes,
guys, we hope you got youready for Thanksgiving next week, but those
(30:21):
of you in the United States iscelebrating it right. Love you, thank
you, Thanks Nurse Blue, thankyou, and bye bye. Thanks for
listening to master your mind with DoctorErica. We will be back next with
another terrific episode that will allow youto master your mind. Please visit hemphappier
(30:41):
dot com for more information about DoctorErica and CBDOIL See you next week.
You're listening to the Law of AttractionRadio Network. Are you tired of the
I can't mindset, the I'm notgood enough mindset? Do you feel like
your negative thoughts control your life?Well, you came to the right place,
because in the next thirty minutes youwill learn how to break free from
(00:22):
the limiting mindset of anxiety, fear, victimization, depression, trauma, and
self hatred by reprogramming your subconscious mind. It's time to master your mind with
Doctor Erica. Hello, Hello,good people, and welcome to master your
mind with Doctor Erica. I amhere joined with my co hosts, a
(00:46):
partner in good Nurse Blue, Hello, everybody. Blue stands for Bill,
love you, n I and empowerpeople about our favorite subject, soul health.
We are the Sol Health and WellnessClub and we just welcome you today
as we do what we always do. We want to start with just an
(01:10):
acknowledgement that we are spiritual beings havinga human experience and we just want to
have a moment for breathing to comeinto our energy and into our bodies.
And so if you can wherever,you are welcome. Thank you for joining
us, and you're welcome. You'rewelcome my guests. Close your eyes if
(01:33):
you can, and let's just takea deep breath, breathing in. Just
allow yourself to center, center intoyour body, and release through your mouth,
releasing out anything that is unwanted,uneasy, disease, dis comfort,
(01:57):
stressful, anything, Just let itout again. Breathe in through your nose.
And as you're breathing in, Ialways visualize this beautiful, white,
healing light, life force energy thatis breathing into me, the life that
(02:20):
I am, the air that Ibreathe, and I'm releasing out anything that
doesn't serve me in a healthy way, any limiting beliefs, heavy emotions,
physical discomfort, any soul toxins,just release them. And so I just
want to welcome you today to ourSoul Health and Wellness Club. We're going
(02:44):
to talk today about mommy and daddytrauma. And you know the question is
are you struggling, Are you stillholding on to trauma from your mother and
your father or whoever raised you forthat matter, but who was a mother
(03:07):
or a father figure, Because themommy and daddy trauma that you might be
experiencing, or that maybe you thoughtyou were over with right might still be
impacting you today, and so wejust want to talk a little bit about
that. When he say about that, Nurse Blue, still mad and when
(03:31):
Mama did that at ten years old, you still stuck there. I'm still
mad that they told me Santa Clauswasn't real. That was trauma tizing for
me, doctor E. But ona serious no, no, this is
an area where personally I suffered fromthis for a long time, a long
(03:53):
time, and as a mother quitefrankly of a middle school a young girl
who I absolutely love my daughter,I'm always very much aware of how I
am correcting her and I say alot of I'm sorry because we make mistakes
(04:15):
and our and our kids, youknow, will push our buttons. I
feel. I believe my daughter shefinds nerves I didn't even know I had,
and she just let me go playon this nerve. Right. But
because of what I've gone through growingup, where you know, I was
a very sensitive child, very highlysensitive child, and so if you raise
(04:36):
your voice at me, it wouldit would just totally it would. It
would do something to my nervous system. You know, I suffered a lot
from anxiety from people yelling at me, and that wasn't necessary. You know,
some kids can take that. Ion the other hand, that you
(04:57):
know, that increase in the octa, it was of your voice, you
raising the vibration of your voice whenit was directed toward me. I felt
like I was the container for pain, pain and suffering and I did not
know how to process it. Andmy parents did a lot of things well,
but your feelings were something that ifthey were acknowledged at all, if
(05:23):
the feelings were acknowledged at all,it was it was not enough for me.
It was not enough. And Ifind that with my clients now.
You know, majority of the peopleI didn't that suffer from chronic stress.
It stress related to our past,My chronic stress over time from you know,
either I felt like my mother didn'tprotect me from I had an older
(05:48):
sibling. You know, guys,you have those big brothers, big sisters,
and they always talking about you ormaking fun of you, humiliating you.
That stuff track, that stuff overthe years can definitely steal impact you.
We don't get over everything. Andmy mother, I don't think she
realized how it impacted me. Shejust did not protect me in that way.
(06:11):
She didn't say not enough, shedidn't say, you guys stop.
You know, she allowed for itto happen, you know, And even
as much as my father, youknow, my father, I was very
close to him growing up, butthere were still some times in my life.
There was one particular time in mylife where my father did something and
it was so injurious to the heart, and he never acknowledged it. And
(06:33):
I think that's the hardest thing forpeople to get over when people don't aren't
willing to say I'm sorry, aren'twilling to validate your feelings, and your
left stay stuck there trying to figureout, now, what do I do
with what I'm feeling? If youjust would have said I'm sorry, yeah,
yeah, you know. It remindsme of I've been practicing for twenty
(06:58):
five years and mental health. Itreminds me of how every single person that
I've ever worked with, including myself, had this limiting belief of not being
good enough. And when we thinkabout where our beliefs come from, I
mean, think about that every humanbeing that I've ever worked with over twenty
(07:19):
five years, and I mean I'veseen thousands of people, they all have
this belief that they're not good enough. And our belief system is formed and
taught by our parents or our caretakers, who ever raised us. And so
(07:41):
when we talk about holding on togenerational trauma, holding onto emotions that in
beliefs that were formed in our childhood, that is all a reflection of our
parents. That's what we got fromthe messages of our mother, the message
of our father, and how thosemessages showed up over and over again in
(08:05):
our lives. And so if you'rereally being honest with yourself, then everyone
is holding on to some hurt feelings, to some limiting belief that you got
from your mother or your father oragain, like I say, you're caretaker,
(08:26):
you know, and that is somethingthat in order for you to really
heal, you have to become awareof that's right, And we've been taught
to run away from those things becausewhen you look at family patterns, oftentimes
we are inheriting patterns that are dysfunctionalbecause that was passed on to us.
(08:48):
You know, I think about,like, you know, majority of the
women in my life, I atleast my father was very much present in
my life and he played a majorrole. But a lot of my friends,
their parents, they suffer from parentalabandonment, and abandonment shows up on
a lot of different levels. Itcould have been because the parents started out,
you know, in a relationship inmarriage and then a divorce and then
(09:11):
one parent checked out. Abandonment couldbe because there was an untimely death,
yes, you know, abandonment couldbe you know they're still present, but
emotionally you're not connected. You seethem every day, and and then there's
like these I call it apathetic attention. It's it's it's no, it's very
(09:33):
little attention. Or you know,you're trying to do your best in school,
or you're trying to show up andwin on the team on the team
sports and your parents aren't at thegames, or they'd act like they don't
care. And so but then here'sthe other piece of it, doctor E
when I don't know if there's aterm for this, but I'm coming up
(09:56):
with it. It's called sibling differentialsyndrome. And what does that mean?
What a parent focused their attention onone of your siblings or one of the
children and the family they got allthe attention and then the other siblings suffered
(10:18):
from lack of attention. Yeah,that's preparential attention and you know what,
it's true because when doctor Emoto,a really famous scientist from Japan, did
his studies, he found that evenjust leaving the jar of right. So
(10:39):
he looked at three, you know, jars of rice. One he labeled
love, the other one he labeledhate. The other one was no label
and it was ignored. The ricethat was ignored was just as molded as
the rice that he spoke hate to. Wow. And so so it tells
(11:00):
you that whether you're being critical oryou know, demeaning, that's bad,
but ignoring and not giving attention toa child is just as harmful. Yes,
it's spiritual beings that it's impacting thenature of the spirit. And it
(11:22):
shows just how important and valuable andessential attention is. When you give your
attention to someone, you are sayingyou are worthy of my love, You
are worthy of my attention, youare worthy that I can give you my
(11:45):
energy. That's right, that's right. That's powerful. It is extremely powerful
because they're validating that you matter.Yes, if you show me you mad,
show me that I matter, youknow I think, show me that
I matter that. I'm not confusedwhen you say I love me and you're
not showing up, because that's whatcreates the cognitive dissonance when you say I
(12:07):
love you, but your actions arenot lining up with your words. Now
I'm confused. And so then howthat transpires into you know, when you
become of age, when you're dating, you know, you start selecting people.
Typically we're going to select people thatremind us or make us feel comfortable
based on our programming. So remindus of our mother, remind us of
(12:28):
our father, they feel familiar,you have something in common. But what
happens is you start dating people that'sa reflection of your past or reflection of
what you're carrying inside of you.Because energetically you're looking to heal that,
right, you really want to healthat, But how do you heal it?
You heal it by attracting a partnerthat will help you heal perhaps if
(12:50):
you are aware that that's why they'rethere, or you're going to attract a
person who's going to mirror it andyou're going to feel that same way in
that relationship. Oftentimes it is theperpetuation of the program because most people aren't
even aware that this ego, thispersona that you've created has been created from
(13:13):
your parents And so if you're holdingon to mommy and daddy trauma, if
you're still feeling some kind of way, being triggered some kind of way when
you think about your mother, oryour father or your caregiver, then I
want you to really take a deeperlook and ask yourself, why why am
(13:41):
I feeling this way? Why amI still being triggered by a thought or
a word or a song or amemory or whatever it is that is triggering
you, And ask yourself, whatmeaning did I give to this? What
(14:03):
is the meaning that I gave tothis experience with my mother or my father?
Because I think oftentimes, like yousaid, it's a generational thing.
Yeah, so they're teaching you whatthey learned. Yeah. Yeah. And
around the holidays, because Thanksgiving isnext week and Christmas is shortly behind.
(14:24):
As we start gathering with our friendsand our families and the people that make
these holidays special, Unfortunately, someof this stuff starts getting triggered, you
know, because when it's not dealtwith first and foremost with it over time.
The reason why it becomes chronic stressis because it sits right here in
this belly area, and it impactsyour personal power. It impacts that solar
(14:48):
plexus that we're working on now inthe Soul Health and Wellness Club. So
if we've carried childhood trauma, mommydaddy trauma from them being there, not
being there, making mistakes, notdealing with their own pain directing you know,
people who were I've met men whohearts are shut down because they were
beaten so much by their mothers andtheir fathers. That's tough love that in
(15:13):
order for them to survive, theyhad to going to a state of cognitive
dissonance to survive, and they nevercame out of it. And now their
hearts are shut down and they can'ttrust women, or they can't feel because
they've never dealt with that trauma andit's stored in that solar flexis in the
stomach, which is why a lotof people don't realize that's why you have
(15:33):
digestive issues. That's why I meanthat that region right there controls your immune
system, It controls your indocrine system, your indocannabinoid system, it controls your
autonomic your autonomic nervous system. Imean, this is real stuff that shows
up as chronic disease, you know, And there are a lot of people
(15:56):
that have don't realize we process allof this in our liver. You know,
You're pancreas is right there in thatin that region, and that's the
blood shoe. It regulates the bloodsugar levels. Okay, So what I'm
saying to you is that when youdon't deal with this stuff, it's gonna
deal with you one way or theother. That's why soul health is so
important, and that's why chronic diseaseis the lethal is as lethal as it
(16:18):
is because we don't realize that whathappened with your mother and your father,
and what happened with trauma from thattime in your life is showing up in
your diagnostic tests. When you holdyou're still holding on you're still holding on
to it. And you know thatwas one thing that the famous Freud,
you know, said, what youdon't express externally, you hold on to
(16:45):
internal, it's gonna show up.It's gonna express itself. And so it
is so important that you not onlybecome aware of it, because I think
most people don't even recognize that they'restill holding on to it. They just
know that when they get around theirfamily or like you say, they're gathering
with their friends, they get triggered, yes, and the trigger is your
(17:07):
body's intuitive telling you, wake up, okay, wake up. What they
just said is connected to a memory, connected to a belief, connected to
a meaning that you have given towhatever experience caused that initial trauma. Right
(17:32):
See, there was an experience inyour childhood or in your upbringing that caused
you to feel a certain way,and because of that, you begin to
believe that you weren't good enough.You were beginning to believe that people weren't
gonna love you, or you weregonna believing that people weren't gonna be there,
(17:52):
they were gonna abandon you. Whateverthat belief is you know that you
formed is still being triggered. Andso when you're triggered, you have to
ask yourself, why, what memory, what belief is underneath this emotion that
I'm holding on to? What isthe thought underneath the deeper meaning that I've
(18:19):
given? So that you can releasethat and you can begin to love that
that inner child that is still holdingon to that that insult, that emotional
insult, that that that you know, belief that you're not worthy, you're
not deserving, you're not good enough, you're not good enough for us to
(18:41):
give you attention. You're not goodenough for us to stick around. You're
not good enough for us to pourinto you whatever, whatever that that trauma
was or that experience was. Sowhen you get triggered, the first thing
you want to do is say,what what? What is the thought underneath
(19:03):
that? What am I feeling?And why am I feeling it? Where
does it come from? What happenedwith that person? Or what was that
experience that caused me to feel acertain way about myself? Yeah, because
that's where you really start doing thework. And I know that for many
(19:25):
years I ran away, which prolongedmy suffering because I ran away. But
the reason I ran away because Iwasn't taught to go and deal with my
inner self. And so for thoseof you who are listening to us right
now, I want to ask youto just I'm going to throw out some
questions here with just you know,give a yes and no quick yes or
no answer to it. If youwant to write them down, not the
(19:45):
questions, but the answers, thenfeel free to do so. But in
this area that we're talking about interms of past relationships, I mean,
think about this, are your relationshipswith your significant other or significant others in
your life. You're a f arethere strong? Is it strong? Supportive?
Is it satisfying to be around there? And if you're single, are
(20:07):
you happy with the relationships in yourlife as they currently are? Yes and
no? Okay, here's another one. My family relationships are loving and for
the most part, stress fee stressfree. Yes and no. Okay.
My friendships are authentic and mutually supportive. Yes or no. Here's the last
one. I enjoy being involved inmy community and feel that I am making
(20:32):
a difference in the lives of others. Yes or no? And I have
actually one more I have clicked though. I went to the soul Health community
dot so health community dot com andI set up my discovery call so I
can learn more about soul health soI can release the soul taxes in this
area. Now, if you havemore knows on this list than that means
(20:56):
you're holding on to some trauma frommommy, daddy, relationship, family issues
that we need to deal with.And it may not as been as bad
like where you're not speaking to yourparents or it created a problem. It
could be where you haven't spoken tothem in years. It could be that
they're not on the planet anymore,and you still you're still harboring, holding
(21:21):
onto this. But if in factthey are still here, that means that
you have time to deal with thisand maybe able to create a bridge or
a peace for yourself. But what, however, you want to resolve it.
Understand that holding on to it ispreventing you from living your best life,
and it is creating disharmony in yoursoul. And you're vibrating a lower
(21:44):
vibrational frequencies that were passed on toyou by the words or the actions of
the people who are in charge ofhelping you, you know, throughout life.
So free yourself, Baby, twentytwenty four is coming. Don't take
this with you. And you know, I think that people walk around they
wake up every day they feel heavy, They have no energy, they have
(22:10):
no motivation. They walk around andthey feel heavy. Ask yourself, what
is causing the heaviness? Yes,and I'm going to tell you the answer
is the low vibrational emotions that youare holding onto. The result tax,
the resentment, the anger, theshame, the guilt, right, the
(22:37):
sameness, the worry, the fear, right, all of these low vibrational
emotions are. You are carrying themon your body and they are weighing you
down. So don't think that youare escaping your past. Don't think that
(23:00):
you are moving out of the denial. No uh uh. As long as
you are feeling heavy, that isyour body telling you that you have some
emotions, some heavy emotions, pasttrauma or past emotions that you need to
release. That you have to freeyour body, in your mind and your
(23:23):
soul and your emotions from Yeah,because what keeps us trapped in those emotions
when we don't want to deal withthem. Number one, pride, Because
pride keeps you from seeing and fromfirst of all, pride keeps you from
hearing or seeing the truth. Yeah, okay, but it keeps you blinded,
and it keeps you blinded, andit keeps you bounded to that okay.
(23:48):
So, and the other thing isthat I always go back to this
situation with a family member of minewho was mad at their father for about
five so they didn't have any conversationat all, and then after he died,
they have lived with the rest oftheir lives of not ever going back
to correct it. And that's andshe shared with me, I regret that
(24:12):
every day when I wake up,I'm faced with that because I did not
have regret, regret, I didnot have the humility, because humility is
there to cancel out your pride.Humility there is is your saving grace,
(24:32):
so that pride does not rob youof the moment that you have the opportunity
to heal, no rob you fromliving your best life where you're living and
regret, which is another low vibrationalemerger, low vibrational frequency. You're absolutely
right, absolutely, And I justwant to say this because I think people
(24:52):
believe that if a person has passedor if you no longer have contact,
maybe you don't know where they live, you know, or they passed on,
that you can't forgive or you can'tmake amends, or you can't find
some resolve in that. And thatis not true. A person doesn't have
to be physically present for you torelease. You don't even have to communicate
(25:17):
face to face or directly with thatperson. It is really you making a
commitment to yourself that you are nolonger going to hold on to the emotions
or the trauma, or the memoryor the meaning of the experience. That's
really what you're saying. You're sayingthat from this day forward, I am
(25:41):
releasing my mind, my body,my soul. I'm in releasing myself from
that stronghold, that stronghold that camefrom what that experience was. And so
you don't need that person there physicallyto find the resolution to make amends,
(26:06):
to release from the emotion of thestronghold. And so just know that again,
we here in the Soul Health andWellness Club are all about freeing you,
freeing you from the soul toxins,giving you natural modalities and strategies to
help you free yourself from that MamaDaddy trauma, from the toxins, from
(26:33):
the strongholds that you might still beexperiencing and that are still weighing you down
every time. That's right, andone of the beautiful well two of the
most beautiful modalities to help you dothat is mastermind coaching, so that you
can you know, every healing isan elevated thought and it's an elevated emotion,
(26:53):
and so mastermind coaching and musicology areawesome. That's a beautiful, full
prescription to help you get there.So we want to invite you to come
and check out the Soul Health andWellness club that you've been talking that we've
been talking about now for quite sometime. You want to go to Soul
Healthcommunity dot com Soulhealthcommunity dot com andyou know, set up a discovery call.
(27:18):
If this is something you want towork on. Join us on Clubhouse.
Guys, we're having so much fun. Download the Clubhouse Clubhouse app and
come to our Soul Health and WellnessClub there or Nurse Blue the Home of
Blue Soul. And we're also inthe Women in Business House where we just
actually just finished affirmation music. That'sbeautiful for helping people to release the trauma
(27:44):
from mommy daddy wounds. But youdeserve to move past that. And you
may not get there waiting on somebodyto say I'm sorry, but you could
certainly get there with loving yourself enoughto do something about it. Absolutely,
And you can also go to mywebsite excuse me healthyminds dot expert that also
(28:06):
has to click the link to theSoul Health and Wellness Club. Ooh,
sorry about that. I was alsothinking that, you know, everyone needs
an opportunity for a second chance.And I think sometimes when we're heavy holding
(28:27):
onto our emotions, we just getso comfortable with the emotions and we just
say, you know what, I'mdone. I'm done. I don't want
that person in my life. Andyou know, I think if if I
if other people treated me that way, there's a lot that I would have
(28:48):
lost in my relationships along my journey. And so I want you to think
about giving yourself, excuse me,a second chance, giving yourself a second
chance at a loving relationship. Yes, come to a soul massage. Let
us love on you. This Saturday, ten am Eastern nine am Central Standard
(29:12):
time. We're focused on building personalpower because what happens is, as we
talked about through this through this showtoday, is that we want to rebuild
your personal power. And this isthe work that we're doing right now to
correct with the wrong that was donebefore. Correct the wounds. We're going
(29:33):
to heal them. You don't managewounds, We don't cope with wounds.
We heal them, build them.Yes, and everyone, I just want
to say, everyone deserves a secondchance at healing. None of us is
perfect. We're all human, weall make mistakes, we all hurt.
You know, we all go throughsimilar experiences. Give yourself a second chance.
(29:56):
Release the trauma, Let go andrelease and We're here to help you
do that. Connect with ussoulhealthcommunity dotcom, Healthyminds dot expert, and just
keep joining us, keep coming back. Thank you so much. Yes,
guys, we hope you got youready for Thanksgiving next week, but those
(30:21):
of you in the United States iscelebrating it right. Love you, thank
you, Thanks Nurse Blue, thankyou, and bye bye. Thanks for
listening to master your mind with DoctorErica. We will be back next with
another terrific episode that will allow youto master your mind. Please visit hemphappier
(30:41):
dot com for more information about DoctorErica and CBDOIL See you next week.
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