November 5, 2025 • 6 mins
A computer glitch transforms routine mail into premature obituary notices for over 500 very-much-alive people.
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#WeirdDarkness #HospitalError #MedicalMistake #BizarreNews #DeathNoticeFail #HealthcareBlunder #StrangeButTrue #DarkHumor #MaineHealth #ComputerGlitch
READ or SHARE: https://weirddarkness.com/mainhealth-mail-death-notices/
WeirdDarkness® is a registered trademark. Copyright ©2025, Weird Darkness.
#WeirdDarkness #HospitalError #MedicalMistake #BizarreNews #DeathNoticeFail #HealthcareBlunder #StrangeButTrue #DarkHumor #MaineHealth #ComputerGlitch
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I'm Darren Marler, and this is weird dark news. Main
Health proved that sometimes the only thing worse than getting
medical bills in the mail is getting paperwork meant for
your grieving relatives. On October twentieth, five hundred and thirty
one customers opened to their mailboxes to fined estate vendor letters,
those cheerful documents explaining to your next of ken how
(00:33):
to deal with your corpse, despite the minor technicality that
you're still breathing, walking around, possibly wondering whether it's switch
healthcare providers. The letters went out thanks to a computer glitch,
which is the modern equivalent of the dog ate my homework,
except the dog is made of binary code and nobody
believes you. These were death certificates, per se, just helpful
(00:54):
instructions for surviving family members on the administrative aftermath of
shuffling off this mortal coil, sort of like getting funeral
planning tips addressed to people you haven't met yet because
you're currently using your organs. At least the hospital didn't
accidentally schedule their cremations. Mean Health never actually listed these
five hundred and thirty one patients as deceased in their
(01:15):
medical records. Their charts still showed them live and kicking,
presumably with normal vital signs like pulse and the ability
to complain about insurance coverage. The computer simply decided to
skip ahead a few chapters in their life story and
mail out the ending spoilers. A Main Health representative issued
an apology stating the issue has quote been fully resolved unquote,
(01:36):
using that passive voice beloved by institutions everywhere when something
spectacularly awkward happens. The freezing suggests the problem fixed itself,
like a rebellious teenager who finally cleaned their room, rather
than requiring panicked it staff and multiple cups of coffee
at three in the morning. The Main Wire pointed out
that Main Health had set the bar so low that
(01:58):
any future health outcome would look like an improvement. When
the baseline expectation is death, even a severe chest cold
and pneumonia represents an upward trajectory in your medical prognosis.
Patient confidence thrives when hospitals accidentally declare you dead before lunch,
but then tell you otherwise before dinner. Following the incident,
(02:18):
Main Health sent apology letters to all five hundred and
thirty one affected patients. One assumes these letters were carefully checked,
double checked, and possibly blessed by a priest before mailing,
to ensure they were addressed to the correct living persons
rather than their startled descendants. The apology letters presumably did
not include condolences or casket catalogs. The estate vendor letters
(02:41):
had gone out to customers across Maine, meaning families from
Portland to presque Isle experienced the unique joy of explaining
to Grandma that no, she hasn't died, the hospital just
thinks she has. This type of conversation typically requires both
patients and possibly a stiff drink, neither of which should
be billed to in insurance. Since time began, humans have
(03:02):
feared receiving bad news in the mail. Eviction notices, tax audits,
letters from ex spouses, a notice of your own death
while you're still around or read it occupies a special
category of correspondence mishaps. It combines the administrative coldness of
bureaucracy with the existential dread of mortality, then stuffs both
into an envelope with a return address. The post office
(03:25):
delivers a lot of things, but premature death notices should
not be among them, computer glitches and healthcare settings usually
involve scheduling conflicts or billing errors, not accidentally writing off
living people. This particular malfunction managed to confuse the term
current customer with the term recently departed former customer, which
(03:47):
suggests somebody in the IT department needs either more training
or stronger coffee, probably both. The estate vendor letters contained
instructions for the next of kin practical matters like how
to obtain death certificates, close accounts, handle the earthly remains
of someone who was at that very moment, probably checking
their mail and experiencing significant confusion. These documents serve an
(04:09):
important function when appropriately timed, which is to say, after
the actual death has occurred, rather than as a preview
of coming attractions. Medical records systems cost millions of dollars
and require extensive programming to track patient information, medications, test results,
and appointment schedules. Apparently nobody thought to add a subroutine
(04:31):
preventing the system from generating death paperwork for patients who
still have upcoming dentist appointments. That seems like an oversight.
The five hundred and thirty one recipients of these letters
now have excellent conversation starters at parties, you think your
insurance company is bad. Mine sent funeral instructions while I
was still filing claims. They also received confirmation that their
(04:52):
healthcare provider maintains such efficient administrative processes that death notifications
go out before anyone actually dies, which represents either impressive
proactivity or terrifying incompetence. We'll let you decide which one.
Some patients probably called the hospital immediately to report their
surprising survival. Others may have shown up at the nearest
(05:14):
Main Health facility just to prove they could walk through doors,
speak in complete sentences, and demand explanations from flustered customer
service representatives. A few likely considered switching to a healthcare
system that waits for actual death before sending death related paperwork.
The incident does raise questions about what other automated correspondence
might be lurking in Main Health's computer systems. Are there
(05:37):
pregnancy test results for men? Towns elected the reminders to
people who had their tonsils removed twenty years ago, congratulatory
letters for successfully recovering from diseases you actually died from
computers making assumptions about your medical status open a world
of administrative possibilities. Mark Twain once said reports of his
(05:58):
death were greatly exaggerated. There are another five hundred and
thirty one people keeping him in good company. If you'd
like to read this story for yourself or share the
article with a friend, you can read it on the
Weird Darkness website. I've placed a link to it in
the episode description, and you can find more stories of
the paranormal, true crime, strange, and more, including numerous stories
that never make it to the podcast, at Weirddarkness dot
(06:20):
com slash news
I'm Darren Marler, and this is weird dark news. Main
Health proved that sometimes the only thing worse than getting
medical bills in the mail is getting paperwork meant for
your grieving relatives. On October twentieth, five hundred and thirty
one customers opened to their mailboxes to fined estate vendor letters,
those cheerful documents explaining to your next of ken how
(00:33):
to deal with your corpse, despite the minor technicality that
you're still breathing, walking around, possibly wondering whether it's switch
healthcare providers. The letters went out thanks to a computer glitch,
which is the modern equivalent of the dog ate my homework,
except the dog is made of binary code and nobody
believes you. These were death certificates, per se, just helpful
(00:54):
instructions for surviving family members on the administrative aftermath of
shuffling off this mortal coil, sort of like getting funeral
planning tips addressed to people you haven't met yet because
you're currently using your organs. At least the hospital didn't
accidentally schedule their cremations. Mean Health never actually listed these
five hundred and thirty one patients as deceased in their
(01:15):
medical records. Their charts still showed them live and kicking,
presumably with normal vital signs like pulse and the ability
to complain about insurance coverage. The computer simply decided to
skip ahead a few chapters in their life story and
mail out the ending spoilers. A Main Health representative issued
an apology stating the issue has quote been fully resolved unquote,
(01:36):
using that passive voice beloved by institutions everywhere when something
spectacularly awkward happens. The freezing suggests the problem fixed itself,
like a rebellious teenager who finally cleaned their room, rather
than requiring panicked it staff and multiple cups of coffee
at three in the morning. The Main Wire pointed out
that Main Health had set the bar so low that
(01:58):
any future health outcome would look like an improvement. When
the baseline expectation is death, even a severe chest cold
and pneumonia represents an upward trajectory in your medical prognosis.
Patient confidence thrives when hospitals accidentally declare you dead before lunch,
but then tell you otherwise before dinner. Following the incident,
(02:18):
Main Health sent apology letters to all five hundred and
thirty one affected patients. One assumes these letters were carefully checked,
double checked, and possibly blessed by a priest before mailing,
to ensure they were addressed to the correct living persons
rather than their startled descendants. The apology letters presumably did
not include condolences or casket catalogs. The estate vendor letters
(02:41):
had gone out to customers across Maine, meaning families from
Portland to presque Isle experienced the unique joy of explaining
to Grandma that no, she hasn't died, the hospital just
thinks she has. This type of conversation typically requires both
patients and possibly a stiff drink, neither of which should
be billed to in insurance. Since time began, humans have
(03:02):
feared receiving bad news in the mail. Eviction notices, tax audits,
letters from ex spouses, a notice of your own death
while you're still around or read it occupies a special
category of correspondence mishaps. It combines the administrative coldness of
bureaucracy with the existential dread of mortality, then stuffs both
into an envelope with a return address. The post office
(03:25):
delivers a lot of things, but premature death notices should
not be among them, computer glitches and healthcare settings usually
involve scheduling conflicts or billing errors, not accidentally writing off
living people. This particular malfunction managed to confuse the term
current customer with the term recently departed former customer, which
(03:47):
suggests somebody in the IT department needs either more training
or stronger coffee, probably both. The estate vendor letters contained
instructions for the next of kin practical matters like how
to obtain death certificates, close accounts, handle the earthly remains
of someone who was at that very moment, probably checking
their mail and experiencing significant confusion. These documents serve an
(04:09):
important function when appropriately timed, which is to say, after
the actual death has occurred, rather than as a preview
of coming attractions. Medical records systems cost millions of dollars
and require extensive programming to track patient information, medications, test results,
and appointment schedules. Apparently nobody thought to add a subroutine
(04:31):
preventing the system from generating death paperwork for patients who
still have upcoming dentist appointments. That seems like an oversight.
The five hundred and thirty one recipients of these letters
now have excellent conversation starters at parties, you think your
insurance company is bad. Mine sent funeral instructions while I
was still filing claims. They also received confirmation that their
(04:52):
healthcare provider maintains such efficient administrative processes that death notifications
go out before anyone actually dies, which represents either impressive
proactivity or terrifying incompetence. We'll let you decide which one.
Some patients probably called the hospital immediately to report their
surprising survival. Others may have shown up at the nearest
(05:14):
Main Health facility just to prove they could walk through doors,
speak in complete sentences, and demand explanations from flustered customer
service representatives. A few likely considered switching to a healthcare
system that waits for actual death before sending death related paperwork.
The incident does raise questions about what other automated correspondence
might be lurking in Main Health's computer systems. Are there
(05:37):
pregnancy test results for men? Towns elected the reminders to
people who had their tonsils removed twenty years ago, congratulatory
letters for successfully recovering from diseases you actually died from
computers making assumptions about your medical status open a world
of administrative possibilities. Mark Twain once said reports of his
(05:58):
death were greatly exaggerated. There are another five hundred and
thirty one people keeping him in good company. If you'd
like to read this story for yourself or share the
article with a friend, you can read it on the
Weird Darkness website. I've placed a link to it in
the episode description, and you can find more stories of
the paranormal, true crime, strange, and more, including numerous stories
that never make it to the podcast, at Weirddarkness dot
(06:20):
com slash news
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