@DrWendyWalsh (05/28) Hour 1

Dr. Wendy has been alone all week. She shares how she spent her days alone and how loneliness can be good for you! Are you feeling guilty? Dr. Wendy is pulling you off the guilt trip. PLUS are you and your person monogamish? Let's break down if it's right for you! It's all on KFIAM-640.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
This is Doctor Wendy Walsh and you'relistening to kf I Am six forty the
Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on demand onthe iHeartRadio app. Doctor Wendy Walsh,
Will You Live? Is the DoctorWendy Walsh Show. If you are new
to my show, you should knowthat I have a PhD in clinical psychology.
I'm a psychology profess California State University, Channel Islands. I've been obsessed

(00:21):
with the science of love for quitea few decades. You may have read
one of the Boyfriend Test, Howto Tell his Potential before you Lose your
Heart or the girlfriend How datable areyou really? Or the Thirty Day loved
Talks, Purge Yourself a voice,Cheaters, commitment phobes all out there.
I have been reading about the scienceof love. Kids coming up in the

(00:43):
show. I am going to pullyou off the guilt train. Whether you're
divorced and feel like somehow your marriagewas a failure. Ooh, I'm going
to change your language. Still attachedto your ex in some way, maybe
even through the courts and with lawyers. I don't know your child free and
you feel like somehow that's not howthings are supposed to happen perpetually single.

(01:07):
Maybe you're having an affair. Letme tell you it's all normal. It's
part of beam and being. We'regoing to talk about the way people date,
mate and regulate. Also coming upin if you're in a new relationship
and you're wondering if it's time totake it to public. Some people call
that a harsh ready to do ahard launch on social media or another way.

(01:29):
Well, I'll tell you whether it'stime or not. Questions you should
be asking yourself and oh, onesimple way to tell you're in a secure
relationship. You won't believe this simplequestion to self. Do I have producer
Kayla with me? How are you, my dear at wady? How are

(01:49):
you are you with me producing?I'm good? How are you doing lady?
Oh? God, we're talking allover each other? Question for you?
Yes, Oh, we have adelay because I'm gonna say about Portos
or Kayla's on a little bit ofa Vika, but she's there with us.
Have you spent much time when inyour life? I mean wall to
wall solitude in your life. Ithink when I moved away for the first

(02:15):
time I spent the first time ison with hude. So yeah, yes,
I ask, well, I wantyou to listen closely because I want
to talk about loneliness versus welcome solitude, what's the difference, and how much
relationships or don't need relationships. Andhere's the reason why I'm going to tell

(02:36):
this story. I've actually this pastweek probably spent more time alone and in
solitude than I have done in myair adult life. Now, I am
not like my friend, the famousattorney Lisa Bloom, who's been hiking the
Pacific rail and literally has been sendingme missives whenever she gets a little bit
of internet. Literally it's like literallyon her own for days and days and

(02:59):
days days and in the wilderness.No less, I am girl. Okay,
I did go for a hike bymyself. I was terrified that I
would get lost, and I didget lost. But guess what all paths
lead down? Okay, if youwent up, it's got to come down
at some point in my way.But for me, it doesn't matter why
I ended up in solitude. Iwant about what the experience was like for

(03:23):
me. And maybe there are peopleout there, maybe you're listening, you
also have felt alone at one timeof another. You know we are to
be with each other throughout our entirehuman history. We have to rely and
I always have on others for oursurvival, both our literal survival helping to
procure food, and also our emotionalval We needed others to protect us from

(03:46):
things like physical threats. We neededthis sense of community. So neuroscientists would
say that we have evolved and ourbrothers adapted to something called social proximity.
We don't do well lone interesting enough, during my week of solitude, I

(04:08):
watched a movie but a Lonely Man. You might see it. It's probably
like number one on Netflix right now, a man called Otto, and if
you haven't seen it, I highlyrecommend you see it. It's about a
lonely, very grump widower and thenwhat happens. I mean, he actually
tries to take his own life anumber of time, different ways. It's

(04:29):
a comedy, I know. Andso in next door across the way moves
in this bubbly, talkative, energeticyoung family. The mom is vignant,
she's Latina, she's talking half thetime in Spanish, she's laughing, she
doesn't even seem to know rumpiness.She's just cheering him up. With her
food, and as you can imagine, things change for him. Whole life

(04:53):
changes because of this one woman,and then his relationships to everybody else seems
because of how he changed internally.Now, I want to remind you that
lose social isolation as our punishment forother human beings. We exile the vibe.
Think of it. Two year olds, three year olds, four year

(05:13):
olds. What's the best punishment timeout for from a few minutes of social
isolation. At the other end ofthe spectrum, the worst and most documented
in humane punishment, solitary confinement ofsomebody who's experiencing abseration the worst thing we
can do. So what's the differencebetween social ice that hurts us and a

(05:36):
well needed rest and a break fromothers that might help us grow? First
of all, there is documentation,lots of lots of lots of research.
Who are alone, not by choice? Right, your brain start experience uncertainty,
ruminating, your stress areas of yourbrain light up, and you know,

(06:00):
we are meant to have companionship,we are meant to have intimacy with
others. And one study in fact, back in nineteen and it was a
huge study, eleven thousand people that'sa giant group of people. They found
that the upperiencing the most social isolationhad above average declines in cognitive function.

(06:23):
I recall, we actually don't thinkas well. Also another sound that people
who are alone too much actually becomemore hostile. Well, that would have
been auto right listening to the TomHanks character definitely felt very very hostile.
On the of seventy five hundred olderadults, found that those had been hurt

(06:48):
or hard done by others and whohad decided to withdraw it out more hostility.
Now, it's interesting because some peoplewhen they get older are happy and
others not. And I found somereally interesting research that really helped me this
week. And you might have heardof the big five personality traits agreeableness,

(07:10):
conscientiousness, traversion, openness, andyour stress tolerance. Right, So personality
traits are well researched and documented.They're pretty hardwired. And most of us
there that happened across the lifespan,like, for instance, we all become
more conscientious as we get older,deliberate, self disciplined. Anyway, here's

(07:31):
what the research says. That womenwho are high and agreeableness would say,
that's me. How a higher riskof becoming lonely as they aged, and
the most conscientiousness, detail oriented,oh, higher risk of becoming lonely men
were. The more agreeable a manwas, the more he had a lower
risk of being lonely. The moreconscientious he lower risk of becoming lonely.

(07:56):
Oh, here's a silver lining.People who are more neurotic and anxiety worriver.
Actually women women, neurotic women don'tbecome lonely people around us. There
is a lone time that's good foryou. Maybe when you're alone and fewer
people, you grow more empathy.You focus on just those one or two
people you meet, some compassion forthem and their life. Let me tell

(08:22):
you there was a few days thisweek I only talked to the postman.
You're Joe's cashier, and they werereally fascinating people to me with long conversations.
Search to show that more alone timemakes you more productive. Yeah,
despite all that open concept of theoffice chatting not good for productivity, A
long time can make you feel morecreative. So spending some time alone can

(08:43):
make you stop and plan your lifea little bit. And finally, and
I head ranced this week, solitudecan help you listen to your inner voice.
Listen to yourself. What do youWho are you? Where are you
going? Yeah, I'm going througha lot of that is that nest syndrome
thing, I think. But Idid learn something else. I think this
is my theory. I'm just makingthis up, but I think it's true.

(09:05):
I think being alone give you bagsunder your eyes. Wait, wait,
stay with me. I have toexplain this. So one time,
so my mother had bags under hereyes. I'm getting I'm starting to have
bags under my eyes. So Iasked a plastic surgeon once, what do
you do for that? And hesaid, nothing. Fluid under your eyes
and the muscles in your cheeks fromsmiling, pump out the fluid. But
if you're not chatting, and youdon't have an ace, and you're not

(09:26):
smiling enough, it doesn't get achance to pump out the fluid. I
know. So I started talking tomyself the walls and smiling at myself in
the mirror a lot. I hadto pump out that fluid, you guys,
because a couple days into the mirror, I'm like, wait a sec,
my face is not being animated enoughanyway, So it can you.
It can also be very hurtful toyou. The question is whether you're isolated

(09:48):
by choice because he eats some alonetime, or whether somebody else is imposing
it on you. And if someone'simposing it on you, they coumbent on
you to reach out and find somesocial support. All right, when we
come back, if you are ina relationship or not in a relationship,
and you have some feelings of guiltaround your situation, I am going to

(10:09):
pull you off the guilt train.I'll explain when we come back. You're
listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demandfrom KFI Am six forty. You have
Doctor Wendy Walsh with you. Thisis the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. So
I mentioned that this week has beenone of the loneliest but self and lonely

(10:31):
weeks of my adult life. Andlast night I decided to just clean myself
and go out to dinner alone,like into a restaurant. You know what,
You can always sit at the barbecause there's act which is the bartender,
and also there's usually people sitting there. So I was chatting with a
couple. They were lovely couple andthey had just started dating like nine months

(10:52):
ago, and we got into alittle conversation out this idea of feeling like
our pastnships we're somehow a failure.If you're one of those people who thinks
that, I want to remind youthat there is no such thing as a
failed relationship. We stay together untilwe've finished growing. I think of relationships

(11:18):
as easium for our minds. It'sa way for us to get a workout,
and when you get strong enough,time to leave that gym and move
to the next level. Think ofthe things that your quote a failed relationships
have produced for you, maybe theHoly Grail children. Maybe you learned something

(11:39):
from that person. When we arein a relationship, we're a cooperative thinker
learning from each other. I alwayssay that a relationship is kind of like
the Aven diagram. Two circles.You don't want to be two separate circles.
Those are polite roommates living in ahouse. You also so overlapped that
you're ameshed. Nobody can remember whoseproblem is. Who's want your circles to

(12:03):
overlap just enough. But on theoutside, there you are continue row to
bring something new into the relationship.You know, when till the West part
was invented, death was pretty imminent. And our biggest problem now that our
relationships are failing, it's that we'reoutliving them. Our life spans are so

(12:26):
long now that even the most monogamousof humans, which anthropologists speculate is about
fifty percent of people completely monogamous,even those monogamous people may have two or
even three long stints of monogamy withsome mate selection in between. We call
that dating. Right, So,I want you to know, using the

(12:52):
length of a relationship as a litmustest for success as anant of its success
doesn't make sense. Look, maybeyou had trauma in your childhood and as
a result, you've got an attachmentstyle that's a little bit insecure, and
you have a hard time telling ifsomebody is safe or not whether you can

(13:13):
trust love or relationship. Maybe foryou, if you date somebody for one
week and you see the risk,you're like, oh no, I am
not walking back down into the sceneof that crime again. I'm going to
burst in already. How can yousay that's a failed relationship. That is
a very succestionship for you because youfigured it out in one week that this

(13:37):
person would be bad for you.Right, So, yet length of a
relationship is one of the worst thingswe can do. If we're trying to
say whether it's successful or not.All right, there are people out there.
It may not be you, butthere are people out there who believe
that if they did not give birthto biological children, that how they failed,

(14:01):
They failed to reproduce, they failedin some way. Well, the
truth is, since the beginning oftime, in our species of full twenty
percents, men and women do notreproduce biologically because we need them to help
raise the in species, we arecooperative breeders. They are the aunties and
uncles and cousins and neighbors and preachersand coaches. And these are the aloe

(14:24):
parents who help raise the entire villageof children. If odd in our anthropological
past, or parents trying to focuson keeping their own kids alive, well,
our species would have been predators.But we had to have some aloe
parents around to babysit while to protectthe tribe while we were dealing with kids.
We need aloe parents and they areimportances. Look, maybe you're somebody

(14:50):
who never married and you're single forlife, if you've got sort if you've
got that person who you can call, if you're in need, Then you
don't have failed relationships built what youneed. Maybe you're divorced but not really
meaning that you're divorced, but youand your ex are still kind of best
friends, are hanging out. Maybethere's a good reason to keep parts of
that union alive. Got kids toraise. Maybe you're not ready to enter

(15:13):
into another relationship yet, and yes, having an affair. Look, the
research has been really consistent over thepast couple of decades that about twenty and
twenty five percent of married men cheat. Right, Oh, I'm sorry,
but ten tip that wrong. Tento fifteen percent of women, twenty to
twenty five percent of men tend tocheat. But why there could be a

(15:37):
good reason your partner's ill. Maybeyour partner is you're you're exhausted with taking
care caregiver exhaustion. Right, Maybeyou're staying together for really good with kids,
money, finances, and you're findinga way to meet your needs outside
of that. Look is how dangerousit can be? Nothing worse than second

(16:00):
actual jealousy. Right, you knowyou're odd. Right, I'll tell you
one thing that attitudes about cheating havechanged in the nineteen seventies. We won't
care so much about cheating like wedo now. We're obsessed with it is
because we put all our emotional eggsin one basket. We are lover to
be everything to us, and ifwe lose that person, we seem to
lose our world. Oh you know, I do suggest that you don't cheat.

(16:25):
It's real painful when someone finds usfalls apart. Some people use it
as a stepping stone to a newrelationship. Maybe you're just unhapped and you're
not ready to leave. You don'thave to leave yet, there's no pressure.
Believe there's still a few more warmfuzzies in your relationship than cold pricklies.
And the time isn't right yet,So I'm here to pull you off

(16:47):
the guilt train. There's no oneright way of love or have a healthy
relationship. Speaking of interesting relationships,there's a term that's thrown around a lot
called monogamish. Monogamish like you're kindof monogaus but not you're monogamish. Let's
talk about if your relationship could toleratethat mott. If you're listening Hulio,

(17:11):
mine could not. You're listening toThe Doctor Wendy Walsh Show and KFI AMC
Live everywhere on the iHeartRadio Act.You're listening to Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand
from kf I AM sixty forty.You have Doctor Wendy Walsh. Would you
gets it with the Doctor Wendy WalshShow. I was talking earlier about people

(17:33):
who may be staying in unhappy relationshipsfor all kinds of reasons. For the
kids, that's a good one.You know, the research shows that staying
together for the children is actually goodfor the children. And let me explain
why. Because when two people separate, they children are more likely to be
you know, lose their friends,have to move their school, they lose

(17:56):
their village, and they also maysuffer from poverty because maintaining two households is
way more expensive than maintaining one,and so it's hard on kids. Kids
can actually thrive pretty well with consistency, even with a couple of bickering parents,
if they have all the other villagesupport that they need, their school
system, their friends, their coaches, etc. But you yank the kids

(18:18):
out of that because of divorce,and that is what hurts the kids.
Kids need consistency. So you maybestand together for the kids very noble reason,
or maybe you're having an affair onthe side, which I said up
to twenty to twenty five percent ofmen do. Married men do, and
about ten or fifteen percent of marriedwomen. I'm not making any moral judgments.

(18:42):
I know you're listening like I'm aguest. Is she's saying it's okay
to have an affair. I'm notsaying it's okay. I'm saying it can
be very problematic. And sexual jealousyis a real thing, Okay, can
cause really big problems, but it'sa messenger that something's wrong in your relationship
and you're not being fulfilled enough.And it's not just about sack. One
research study I shows I read showedthat men actually choose to have affairs more

(19:06):
for emotional reasons and physical reasons.They want someone to listen to them because
their wife stopped listening a while ago, and women they're not getting enough emotional
support from their husband, so they'llgo out and a guy will, you
know, talk a lot of sweetnothings into their ear. It feels real
good. So it's not just aboutthe sex. So if you ever considered

(19:27):
making your relationship monogamish, monogamish,that's something between a monogamous relationship and a
fully open relationship. Now, beingmonogamish is different for every single couple,
but it basically means this term,you're not fully open, You're not fully

(19:48):
closed. You know where the termclick came from the podcaster, author and
sex columnist Dan Savage. He coinedthe term, and he uses monogamish to
describe his own relationshi and ship withhis long term partner where they're both in
this long time committed relationship I thinklike almost thirty years or something, but
they have the occasional intimate encounter withother people. Now, I want to

(20:11):
say something, Dan Savage is gay. He clearly states though that before he
was out, he had many heterosexualrelationships. He clearly states that he believes
he understands women. But I justwant to say I have my own bias
here and my own biases that Iam a heterosexual woman, and so Dan
Savage has never worn a woman's brain. Okay, we have evolved to have

(20:34):
sexual jealousy. Now, there aresome people who can suppress their sexual jealousy.
They tend to be people who mayhave an avoidant attachment style. They
don't really want a lot of closenessand intimacy, and that's why they water
down the milk. With multiple partnersand multiple relationships, men are able to
suppress sexual jealousy, not so muchthinking about their wife with another man,

(20:59):
but they're able to separate sex fromfeelings easier than women are. But there
are some suggested about four percent ofwomen have high testosterone and they're going to
have sex like a band, meaningthey can separate it out. I'll tell
you though, there are some peoplethat should never ever ever try a monogamish
or open relationship. This is myopinion, and those would be people who

(21:21):
have an anxious attachment style that usedto be me. That means they have
heightened levels of sexual jealousy and they'reworried about abandonment and their partner's going to
leave them. So that's no,that's not going to work for them.
Also, people who are in arelationship where the power dynamic is unbalanced.
Even though you can say, well, we're too consenting adults and we decided

(21:44):
together to open up our relationship andwe're going to be monogamish. Yeah,
if one person is entirely financially dependenton the other, can you really give
consent? Right? Can you reallybe an adult and give consent if you
need the support and the money andyour kids fed. Just saying, or
what if there's a big age gap? You know, the power in a

(22:07):
May December relationship always lies with theolder person, no matter what their gender
is. Do you know why?Because they have more life experience, they
have more knowledge. They can easilymanipulate the other. It's quite a thing
to have a relationship where there's,you know, decades of age between the
two of you. The other thingyou should know is that monogamish is not

(22:30):
a one size fits all. Itinvolves lots and lots of talking about rules,
boundaries, circumstances and renegotiating it allthe time. I know somebody who
has a monogamish marriage and they havea rule that is, if you step
out of the relationship to have anintimate accounter with somebody else, it can't

(22:52):
be anybody we socialize with, rightYou don't want to have to sit at
the dinner table later with that person. That's one rule. It's a good
one, am I kind of likethat one. And the other rule they
erected is only one time on thatmerrig around. Okay, so one time
if you're going to have a newpartner outside one time. This sure doesn't
work for women because women never havegood sex the first time. If you're

(23:15):
a woman who has first great sexwith somebody the first time you meet them
or the first time you have sex, you need to DM me because I
can't believe this is true. It'susually like the third time before things really
get going with women and they cancalm down and have an orgasm, etc.
The other thing is you have toconstantly renegotiate your preferences, your needs,
your boundaries. You have to constantlymutually agree. You know, you

(23:38):
might have rules around well, howlong can you flirt? What is the
chatting going on? It's a lotof detail, right, And you also
have to be able to withdraw yourconsent at anytime. You have to be
able to say I'm not doing thisanymore, and the other person has to
say okay, right. See there'sthe problem. Once you taste that something

(23:59):
new, you know, you're like, oh, maybe I want to have
that for dinner a lot, right, But both partners have to have the
right to curtail the arrangement at anytime. Now, there is some small
research that says that some PSALM.Monogamish couples report greater emotional intimacy between each
other because they're always talking about thetender subjects. They're always negotiating, reaffirming

(24:22):
their boundaries. And also it canfor some people if they can tolerate,
enable some personal growth and help themget to know each other. But I
just want to warn you you're playingwith fire. Honestly, beware of the
dangers of playing with fire, andask yourself, are you doing monogamish because

(24:42):
you're actually testing the waters out thereand to think of leaving your relationship,
that's a real question. Hey,on the opposite end, are you thinking
of going public with your new relationship? Is it time to do a hard
launch. I'll explain maybe it is, maybe it isn't. There's some questions
you need to ask yourself. Whenwe come back. You are listening to
the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show and kfI AM six forty. We're live everywhere

(25:04):
on the iHeartRadio app. You're listeningto Doctor Wendy Walsh on demand from KFI
AM sixty kf AM six forty.You have Doctor Wendy Walsh with you.
This is the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show. I remember one time I had a
date with a man years ago andhe decided to tell me this story.

(25:25):
Now, it was a first date, and so it was kind of interesting
that he would choose to tell methis story. He told me that he
had dated a woman for about twomonths. They had been having sex,
but they had not had the conversation, the what are we conversation? Where

(25:45):
is this going? And then oneday he was shocked to see a picture
of the two of them on Facebook, with her announcing to the world that
she's dating him. Well, hetold me that he broke up with her
immediately, that he was so angeredby this. This was a fragile relationship

(26:07):
that she took public too early.Not surprising. He made a point of
telling me that story on our firstdate as a warning, like doing you
better not try that, right.I think people are always afraid because I
have all the social media that Icould have put my whole life out there,
But if you really look at howcurated my social media is, it's
not that personal. So it mademe start to think, when is the

(26:33):
right time to completely go public.You might call it becoming Instagram official or
hard launching your relationship how do youknow when it's the right time, when
to have that explicit, clear announcementthat you are in a relationship. First
of all, let's talk about whythis matters. There are a lot of

(26:56):
people who dip their toe into love. They get into these situation ships,
or they have slow love where theytake their time seeing other people and getting
to know somebody, or they're ina cocooning phase. They've met each other
and now they're deep in the cocoonand they haven't really brought the relationship out

(27:18):
two people because they've been alone,busy falling in love. You know,
my boyfriend Julio and I met nearthe beginning of the pandemic, and we
had the gift of time, aswe all did during quarantine, and so
we got to spend unlimited amounts oftime with each other. And there's no
rush to go public because who werewe going out with. Everybody was under

(27:40):
quarantine, right, So we waiteda year till our first anniversary before I
posted a picture of the two ofus on my Instagram and we had the
conversation about it. So I dowant to say though, that all the
relationships eventually have to go somewhere they'reeither going to turn into something more solid
or they're going to fall apart.But they're moving, they're happening, They're

(28:00):
gonna go somewhere. So I puttogether this little list of questions to ask
yourself if your relationship is ready fora hard launch. So the first question
is about time and duration. Ifyou're young, I want to say this,
have you been dating at least sixmonths? Okay, it shouldn't be

(28:22):
all over your social media. Ifit's less than six months, the relationship
is just too fragile because when youdo that hard launch, now the world
is weighing in. You're gonna havetheir exes seeing it. They're going to
have other friends that may have feelingsof envy. You're gonna have mate poachers
come along and try to steal yourmate. Oh, it's a big deal
when you do a hard launch.So, as I mentioned, Hulu and

(28:47):
I waited for a year because we'reolder and time goes by faster. Honestly,
like we blinked, any year wentby. Plus, don't you find
like in the pandemic we lost likethree years of our life. It's kind
of like rip van Winkletown. Ican't remember what season or what year of
anything between January of twenty twenty untilJanuary of twenty twenty twenty twenty three.

(29:11):
I think it's just a blur tome. So make sure you're dating at
least six months. But just asimportant, have you had the what are
we conversation? And are both ofyou confident in your relationship or is one
of you hoping for more? Right? Also, don't do a hard launch

(29:33):
until you've done a soft launch.Have you already done that soft launch with
your intimate friends. Nothing worse thanhaving a close friend of yours or a
family member see it first on socialmedia. That's terrible. You got to
get out in the world and socializewith your inner circle first. Another question

(29:55):
to ask yourself. Are you comfortablewith social media in general? Discuss the
boundaries for each of you. Iknow a couple, a young couple,
and she loves the social media.He does not. He's against it.
They've come to a compromise. Hedoesn't mind taking pictures of her for her
Instagram. He is fine with theodd couple picture around an anniversary or something,

(30:15):
but he doesn't want to be allover her Instagram and he's not posting
her and he told her, It'snot that I'm trying to do something sneaky.
I just don't like social media andthat's to be respected. Look,
are you doing it because it's excitingand fun and you can't wait? Or
are you doing it not to announcethe security of your bond but to validate

(30:38):
a fragile bond? Are you havingfeelings of abandonment? Are you wondering if
it's real? You think if youpush it and push it and make it
public that somehow it'll stick. No, it'll explode, It'll spiral down,
and there are other people to thinkof. Will your ex be protected?
Has enough time gone by that itwill be okay? Is your X in

(31:02):
another relationship? Is theyre X inanother relationship? Are you doing it because
you're trying to hurt your X?These are important questions to think about.
Right, have you blocked your X? I believe in that. Don't hang
your life out in front of theX. And here's the biggest thing.
Are you prepared to deal with anonline breakup as well? Once you do
that hard launch, once you gopublic, it's not like happily ever after.

(31:26):
Now your relationship is out there,and now things can happen. It
doesn't mean that you have to talkabout every detail of your relationship, but
when you do finally break up,you also have to do a hard announcement
about that. Right now, ifyou're not into social media, I do
want to say that you can senda group text to friends that includes,

(31:47):
you know, photograph of your partner. You can call friends and family.
You can get together with friends andfamily. You can introduce them, you
can you should be taking your partnerto meet your family. You should be
meeting their family is before you gointo the wild wide world of social media.
Or maybe you just plan a littlegathering where you get everybody together,
have a nice dinner together. Thereare ways to do it without social media.

(32:07):
Speaking of social media, when wecome back, I am going to
my social media. If you'd liketo send me a question, just DM
me at doctor Wendy Walsh at DrWendy Walsh. I will not announce your
identity. I will keep it confidential. I know these are tender topics and
you don't know who might be listening, but if you have a relationship question,
feel free to send it in.When we come back, I will

(32:28):
be answering your questions. You're listeningto the Doctor Wendy Walsh Show on kf
I Am six forty with Live everywhereon the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening
to Doctor Wendy Walsh. You canalways hear us live on kf I am
six forty from seven to nine pmon Sunday and anytime on demand on the
iHeartRadio app.