The Day We Created 'Toilet Paper or No Toilet Paper'

With toilet paper in such demand, we created a new game called 'Toilet Paper or no Toilet Paper', Our 'Coupon King',Scotty b, helps us save some money while shopping. We check in on Uncle Johnny during his social distancing.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Por she's up this program. We're prerecorded. Hey, can I
say something? You gotta hear this. This is hilarious. Oh
my god, you guys, I hear you morning. By the way,
I just laughed in a Booker Elvis story in the

(00:24):
Morning Show. Yes, sometimes when you laugh, a booger comes out.
It's just the way it is. It is Wednesday, March
twenty fifth. Hey, Danielle, Hey, Gandhi, how you guys doing.
It's froggy. They're scary, they're straight ate. You know, everyone's
checking in. You know, I'm getting tired of the rules.
You know. It's like when you get on the elevator,

(00:44):
you reach up to push the button, so say, just
don't touch that. I well, you gotta touch the button
otherwise you don't go anywhere. It'll use your elbow. You
go to the grocery store, can you pick that up
with your sleeves, pull your sleeves in over your hands,
and you know, pick that up and put it in
your basket. It's it's gone to the point where you
you just want to don't want to touch in anything,
you know, do you know what I'm saying? Of course,
And then as soon as you get home, you scrub

(01:04):
your hands for a very long time, a hundred very
no water because you've been touching stuff that's scary. Give
me an appropriate song to start today. You can't touch this, perfect,
I guess you can't touch this. Look your hands off,
put them in your pocket. What about the door handle
over there? No, don't touch that. No, now, my my

(01:26):
mind bob so hard. Basically say oh my boy, thank you,
blessing me. What a mind to good? But you know
you're down from then and I'm no it such and
this is you can't touch I told you, home boy,
you can't touch this. Yeah, that's how we're limited. You

(01:48):
know we can't touch this. Look at my eyes. Man,
you can't touch this. Let me bust that and you
gotta like that now you know you want to be
boom out of your seat and get a fire girl
and catch it whiles rolling hold on, bup a little
bit and let the noise going on like that like that,

(02:08):
hold on the men the boy, let him know that
you're too much. And this in a bog They can't
touch yo. I told you you can't touch this while
you're standing there, man, you can't touch this. Yo't sound
the bill schoolers in something them you can't touch this,
giving me a song or rhyth them making them in fact,
that's what I'm giving them now. They know you talk

(02:30):
about the hand one. They're talking about a show that's
house and tighten singles are speating something fast to my
white card, change to run. What's gonna do it? In
the night's bo burns charge but jack in the work
hard like you might smoke quick that word because you
know you can't touch this. You can't touch this, break

(02:53):
it down, but stop, have a time, go with the
boat and it said it can't move the best and
your bummy on dad some way. Your hands in the hair,

(03:13):
must do your heads for when dad and you're gonna
get the move side. You're rock just for a minute,
let's all do the can't touch this look, man, you
can't touch this. You probably get a hype boy because
you can't. You can't touch this. Bring the bell schools

(03:35):
back in, break it down? You ready for some hammer time?
Stop yeah time. So whatever you do today, don't touch that.

(04:01):
He was writing a song that could help us decades later,
many decades later. All right, let's get go over to
the show. That's that's the goal. Today. Don't touch this, okay, done?
I don't know. Last night we had big steakes on
the grill and some mashed potatoes and Alex insisted on martiniz.
So I had a martini last night, just one, just one,

(04:22):
that's all it takes. And you know, martinis make me loosey, goosey.
Let me tell you though, when I talked to the
two of you yesterday on those martinis, you guys sounded
like you were having a blast. Wait we talked, Yeah,
I talk to you and Alex. Really I'm kidding. I know.

(04:44):
Oh boy. It's about the Tiger King. So I won't
ruin it for other people, but we had an in
depth discussion about it. Yeah, we finished Tiger King last night.
I'm not going to get into it other than it
ends abruptly and you want more. We'll move on. Let's
go to our first caller of the day. Her name
is Kara or Kara. We'll find out how she says
it is this Kara or Kara. Kara, Hey, Kara, Welcome
to the show. Good morning. So Kara is a cardiac

(05:07):
nurse in Richmond, Virginia listening to Q ninety four. You
love being a nurse, right now. So this must be
either the most trying time of your career or it's
your super Bowl. Which one is it for you? Kara?
I wouldn't say it's a super Bowl because obviously we
don't like to see anybody sick. But you know, it's
what it's what we do. We're prepared and willing to

(05:28):
do our part well. And we thank you, you know, Kara,
you and all of the hundreds and hundreds of thousands
of men and women who march in every day. Yes,
it's it's like you know the firefighters. You mean, when
you see a fire, you run into it, and we
just can't thank you enough. Thank you for serving, thank
you for doing what you're doing. Thank you, thank you,
thank you. I'd call her a kiss you if it
was allowed, but we can't touch you. No, you can't

(05:51):
thank people. You can blow kisses. Blow kisses. Yes, blowing
is good. I'm changing my name to kiss so so, Kara,
being being who you are at cardiac nurse, but you
have many friends who are in the nursing into the
health field, what is your number one piece of advice
for all of us today, other than don't touch that,

(06:13):
stay home, just stay home. If you can, um, so
don't go out unless he needs to. Um. Just let's
all like we all got to do our part and
just try to. Like, I know, it's kind of a
locally stay right now, but like flatten the curve, stay
home flat in the curve. You know. I ordered some
Flatten the Curved T shirts last night. Unfortunately, no one
will deliver them because they're staying home. Yeah no, yeah,

(06:35):
they have Flatten the Curved T shirts. And don't you
think we'll all be wearing Flatten the Curved T shirts
before you know it? Yeah? Anyway, So, Kara, a part
of your daily routine, does it involve caffeine by chance? Yes?
Oh that has got something for you. We're gonna give
you a nice, brand new, shiny sexy delongie all in

(06:56):
one espresso and coffeemaker to keep your caffeinated. Okay, whoa O.
Thank you guys so much. Thank you guys, Because you
guys are getting ready to go into work, like, get
me awake. I'm not a warning person, so you guys
have me laughing before I go into work. And I
work nice sometimes and sometimes you guys keep me awake,
so I couldn't make a long drive home. Oh, it's

(07:19):
the least we can do for what you're doing for us. Kara,
would you please tell everyone at the hospital and in
the office that we said thank you, thank you so much. Absolutely,
this is going to be like the highlight of my week. Well,
you're the highlight of our day. Hold on one second, Kara,
enjoy your Delonghi all in one espresso and coffeemaker. Hold
on one second. And by the way, speaking of Delongi,
they are giving us another one thousand dollars to give

(07:40):
away during the free money phone tap coming up. Let
us help pay your bills. Let's go around the room, Danielle,
what's on your mind before the show gets going. So
I got to go on another bike ride yesterday because
the weather was gorgeous. So we did that, and as
I'm driving down the street with my son, I hear
one of our neighbors scream out, yeah, thanks so much
for recommend The Stranger on Netflix. I couldn't sleep for

(08:03):
a week, so so I turned around and I'm like, oops, sorry,
I just kept driving down the street. Funny you think
you're helping someone out by giving them something to watch
on Netflix, and then they hate you because you gave
from something like hysterical. I was cracking up laughing, but

(08:23):
I'm like, it's so good. You know you loved it,
You whoever you are. Hey, foggy and beautiful Jacksonville, how
are you doing today? What's up with you? We're about
to have a messy situation here at the house. I
need some help. Oh boy, Oh we're running low on cottonelle, wet, white, decent.
It's gonna be a messy situation if we don't find something.
Oh no, I went on Amazon yesterday, and as soon

(08:46):
as they'll get here is April fourth. If I don't
go between now and April fourth, we're gonna have a
real problem. So I don't know what we're gonna do.
I guess yeah, use toilet paper. Do what doctor says,
spit on the toilet paper. Ah, it does the ripples.
It doesn't clean as well. I don't we got it?
B All right? Well, all right, well, good thing. We

(09:09):
can't see you anytime soon. I don't need to know
that you're walking around my room with a dirty hini. Hey,
well we'll call Amazon and try to expedite that. Hey, gandhi,
what's up with you today? Well, if you thought that
you couldn't get into a fight with your significant other
unless you were quarantining together. Think again. Yesterday, my boyfriend
and I and he is doing it out of the
kindness of his heart. He is very worried about us

(09:30):
here in New York, so he is everything I do.
He's staying, don't do that, don't go there, don't move,
just sit in your house. Just sit there the whole day.
Don't even go outside and get fresh air. He actually
told me to stick my head out the window if
I needed to breathe. And yesterday he came up with
the plan of never using my elevator again and walking
down and up the steps. I live on the forty
first floor. I was like, are you serious, Yeah, babe,

(09:54):
you can do it. You have some leg muscles. Forty
one floors. That'll be your exercise too. You got this.
I was like, I'll kill you, Brandon, I will kill you.
You can do that. Gandhi, you can do that, I know,
but that's your exercise for the day. Once you get up, shoot,
get up the air with us, and she'll be doing
that until tomorrow morning while we're on the air again. Floors.

(10:17):
You can you can do that in an hour or two. Cool,
all right, he's just trying to help you out. All right,
let's get into your horoscopes. Let's get rolling. Uh who
I always love asking who's doing the horoscopes. It's the
same two people every day, exactly. All right. It is
Elton John's birthday today and Big Sean's birthday today, So

(10:38):
happy birthday today, Capricorn. A boost of confidence is what
you need right now. Do something different to empower yourself.
Your day is an eight Aquarius. You may be having
trouble falling asleep because you're so stressed. Don't forget self
care is very important. Your day is a seven Pisces.
You control your mood. Don't let only one thing wait

(10:58):
a minute, don't let one thing somebody said to you
throw you off. Your day is a nine Aries. Today
is your day. Reward yourself for all your hard work.
You deserve it. Your day is a ten Tourist. Your
generosity is your best trade. Butt Sometimes you overextend yourself,
so be a little wary of who you help. Your
day is a seven Gemini. You always have great ideas.

(11:19):
Start bringing those ideas to life. They deserve your attention.
Your day is an eight Cancer So when life seems
like it's going well, there are always bumps in the road.
Prepare yourself for a small setback. Be ready to bounce back.
Your day is a seven Leo. Get rid of any
negative energy, whether it's a person or a job. You
don't need that in your life. It's time to start fresh.
Your day is a nine Virgo. You may be feeling discouraged,

(11:42):
but don't give up now. Success is on its way.
Your day is an eight Libra. Stand up for yourself.
If you feel like someone isn't treating you right now
is the time to reclaim your dignity. Your day is
a nine Scorpio. Luck is coming your way. Life may
not be going your way, but that's going to change soon.
Your day is a ten and Sagittarius reached for the stars.

(12:02):
You can accomplish anything you put your mind to, even
when you feel like you can't. Your day is an
eight and those are your Wednesday morning horoscopes. All right,
let's get into the three things we need to know.
A lot of stuff changes while we're sleeping. Let's see
what changed last night, Ganda, your own so much happened? Okay,
So President Trump says that he would love to see
the US fully open again by Easter. He's saying that
social distancing guidelines are being assessed and argued that the

(12:25):
country could be destroyed by closing it down. He then
added that the US loses thousands of people to the
flu each year, but no one turns the country off
for that. And last night the stimulus package was approved.
The White House announced a two trillion dollar deal early
this morning. It's going to provide relief for businesses, laid
off workers, and families. So we'll see all of the
details on that as the day goes on. Ford Motor

(12:47):
Company doing something really cool. They are set to partner
with Ge and three M on making face shields, ventilators,
and air purifying respirators to fight the pandemic. Engineers actually
found that a seat cooling blower used in the F
one fifty truck can be turned into a filtration system.
So four and three M have a goal of pushing
out as many as ten times more respirators than are

(13:08):
currently being manufactured. And finally, we all kind of wondered
if this would happen, how it would happen. Are we
going to overwhelm the internet? Well, YouTube is feeling the burn,
and they say that they're reducing their video quality because
more people are staying home to serve the web do
video conferences, and it's eating up too much. So it's
going to be happening for the next thirty days. By default,
you're going to go to standard definition instead of high

(13:29):
def videos. Users will have the option to upgrade if
they want to. But YouTube says it's doing its best
to minimize the stress on the system and keep everybody going.
You know what, In following in the steps of YouTube,
I think our show we need to reduce the quality
of our show just a little bit. I think we're
using way too many resources. We're using way too many

(13:50):
brain cells every day. So if we could just conserve
some of our brain cells and our health by just
reducing the quality of our show, we'd be better off.
Anyone agreeing with me, anyone in the lowest quality setting. Okay,
we're in the lowest quality setting. We can put this
bitch on. All right? What is this? I don't even

(14:11):
know what day it is? Is it Wednesday? Yeah? Day?
All right? You guys ready for your Wednesday? All right?
Come on, let's have a low quality Wendow. I love
Musical in the Morning. Hey, it's goddy and we all
know that sun protection is essential, so take care of
your skin the way I do with Hawaiian Tropic sunscreen.
Hawaiian Tropic has perfected a light, non greasy formula that's

(14:33):
great for your daily beauty routine. So do what I
do and stock up on Hawaiian Tropic available at Amazon,
Elvis Duran in the Morning show. Hey, just reading about
our friend Shakira. She's actually stopping production of her perfumes
to make hand sanitizer, hand sanitizer to donate. That isn't
it great? I love her, love her, love her, love her.

(14:55):
You know every day, go ahead. What I found two
little hand sanitizers stashed in the back of a cabinet
I was cleaning out yesterday and it was like gold.
It's like, oh, don't tell your secret stash. Every once
in a while, you'll you'll read about another celebrity doing
something that's just helping out. Thank you celebrities. Gosh, they're

(15:17):
good for something, and you know what. To be honest,
I don't want to hear any more about this Kim Kardashian,
Taylor Swift, Kanye thing. I'm done with it aren't. Are
we done with that? I'm not even talking. Please please,
I was done with that about four years ago. Yeah, exactly,
gandhi exactly. I have Sam online twenty four I don't

(15:39):
know why we're gonna go talk to Sam. Hello Sam, Hi, guys,
Oh it's a producer Sam. I was thinking some guy
named Sam. I'm like, okay, we'll talk. I get that
mistake a lot. Hey Sam, so you just started uh
tiger king? Good luck with that. By the way, did
I feel like this is going to be really bad
for like my pool pressure or my stress levels, like

(16:02):
it seems very intense already. Well, look, you know I
can tell you the Netflix is and the Amazon Prime
production companies of the world, they really have a gold
mine in doing these documentaries about people who were just
from outer space. And I will watch that twenty four
hours a day. There needs to be a network. What
will we call the network Psycho? I don't know, Yes,

(16:26):
it needed. It needs to be just called like like psycho. Yeah,
and I I don't think we get anything done though
we'd we'd watch Psycho all day long. I don't know.
You know, it all started back in the what was
the documentary about the guy who they thought killed the woman,

(16:46):
and then a murder making a murderer, and then that
that Pizza Bomber documentary came along and it wasn't just good.
Here's the thing. It has to be a crime drama,
but it has to be you know, starring these people
who are just aft up in that and you're like
what And they all have to have like very shiny clothing,
all of them. I don't know us mullets. You know what,

(17:12):
if you want to if you want an award winning show,
if you want to win an Emmy that year, you
gotta have mullets. You just have. Yeah. Anyway, what are
you doing, Sam? What's going on? Producer Sam? Hey? You
know keep in saying I'm cooking a lot, which is
kind of nice. What are you cooking? What did you
cook last night? Yesterday? I made William a marinated chicken

(17:33):
cobob and then pastas and I thought to hate some
asparagus and broccoli. Yeah, you know what. A lot of
us are rattling the pans and it's it's feeling good.
We're gonna go around the room and see what everyone
ates a few minutes, because everyone seems to need to
know that. That's another ratings grabber. By the way, you
have to have a psycho drama about murder, or you
have to tell people what you ate for dinner, it's

(17:53):
ratings gold. All right, let's let's get to do your
feel goods for today, Producer Sam, what do you have?
All right? So a lot of us have turned into
horders during our self sets in house arrests. But like
put a paper cleaning supplies, if you can get to
the store at the right time, a lot of people
go nuts and they just keep buying. So many people

(18:14):
can't get these necessities because of their crazy job schedules,
like our beloved delivery drivers. So I wanted to thank
YouTuber Evan Era, who thinks about these important strangers in
his life. He put out full bundles of toilet paper
and big bottles of hand sanitizer in front of his
home with a letter that said take if you need it,

(18:37):
thank you for your hard work. So one driver rang
the doorbell to be certain he was allowed to. Because
the look on his face was in such shock. He
called Evan a lifesaver. It was such a cute video.
I'm going to sweet it out if you want to
see it. But it's a great idea. So if you're
like Evan and maybe have an extra stockpile of stuff

(18:57):
you can let go of consider doing something similar because
you know, these people are working so hard for us
right now, and we could try and take care of
them a little bit as well. Though. Excellent. Just put
stuff out front. They'll take it. It's true, they'll take
it exactly. Look, well, thank you. You know or that

(19:18):
deserves to be featured. Email Elvis Strand dot com subject
I feel good, all right, thank you so much, Sam.
Have a beautiful day and keep exercising on top of
your boyfriend. Did you see that video I did? Sam
crawled on top of his boy her boyfriend and did
push ups on him. Yeah, this guy is very very stable.

(19:39):
Yeah I saw that. All right, Well, thank you Sam,
and have a beautiful day. We love you. I love
you guys and miss you too, all right, thank you.
I miss Sam. I miss everyone. I know, I miss everyone.
I miss kicking Gandhi under the table and all that same.
Can't you use a drive over to Gandhi? She opens
a door and your kicker then your runaway. It's different. Yeah,

(20:03):
you know, hey, uh, what are we doing here? What
time is it is? Is it too early for Daniel?
We have to take a break? Yeah, I'll love how
when when when producer Nate does that take a break
thing with his hands, he now has gloves on. I
will tell you. I tell you what I'm doing today
because every day I have to get out of the

(20:23):
house for a few minutes. But I just get in
my car. I don't want to get out of there
and you know, connect with anyone. But I do have
to go pick up some wine today. Wine is it's
it's a necessity. So there's this place in a town
near me where you just pull up and you push
the button and it opens the back of your truck
and they put the boxes in and they close the
word to drive away. So I'm doing my my wine

(20:45):
pick up today, my curbside wine pick up. I'm so excited.
This is the highlight of my day. This is as
good as it gets. I'm so sorry. Uh So, if
anyone needs wine, I'll give you the address. You just
pull up, open the window, they throw it in, you
drive away. You don't have to touch anyone. That's just
wipe it now. I'm when you get home. Uh Daniel,
what is your first report all to me about coming up.
Oh okay, we got to talk about Pink because she

(21:08):
has realized when she's drunk that she's just so good
at something. Oh what's that, y'all? See? Okay, all right,
let's take a break. Let's come up with a list
of all the psycho dramas that we need to be watching.
Someone reminded us a don't f with cats. That's another
good one. Oh yeah, yeah, all right, anyway, let's take

(21:29):
a break. We have more coming up after this in
the morning show. Text us standard data and messaging rates
me apply. It's all least rate in the morning show. Hey,
a big shout out to everyone who's keeping us moving,
keeping us cranking. Thank you for my internet, thank you
for my electricity. Thank you for picking up the trash.

(21:49):
Thank you for being in a truck and delivering the
goods and services and foods and the beer and the
wine and everything we need. Thank you so much for
keeping an eye on us. And you know what, thank
you and anyone who is out there to keep us
safe and keep our houses from burning down and keep
us in an ambulance without the doors opening up in
us falling on those street while you're taking us to
the hospital. Thank you to everyone who's doing everything. And

(22:11):
you know what I just left out a million people
who need to be thanked. Yeah, it's we are just
living in this in this world where you start to
see the moving parts and you understand that they're so important,
they're so vital, and uh God, if you can't stop
and say thank you every once in a while, I
don't know you're failing. They need to hear a thank you. Yea,
I know straight Nate wants to thank iHeart Corporate. Yeah,

(22:35):
thank you for giving us a job. Thank you for
letting us come in and do this. That's important. But
I always say we're down to what maybe five percent
of the workforce here at iHeart New York and management,
you know, including THEA and Bernie and Mark Josh Hadden
and engineering. They've done such a good job for the
few people remaining. There are snacks for us, there are gloves,
there are alcohol wipes. You feel like you're coming into

(22:58):
a safe environment because I know for people that are
going to work, they're managers might not be taking care
of things like that. So it's important for people like
uh management in powers of positions of power to take
care of the people that are still going in. So
I want to say thank you to them. This is nice.
It's it's times like this, and you guys all agree,
I'm sure it's times like this you really find out

(23:19):
what people are made of. I do know some people
who aren't getting any information from their management. They're not
getting any direction. The management isn't even coming down to
see them and say hi, because they're freaked out too.
And you know, granted everyone's freaked out. I mean, hello,
who wouldn't be. Yeah. Um, The thing is is, if

(23:40):
you are a manager, it's that you're needed. You. You
need to get out there and go, hey, how you doing,
or make a phone call to them. You don't have
to give them snacks, but just say to see how
they're doing. Give them direction. People need direction right now
to make sure they're doing a good job for you.
You know, I'm not gonna lie. I mean it scary. Well,

(24:02):
you know, the these peanut butter eminem's are great, but
then then they also the eminem's minis, So now I'm
kind of you know which one do I want? Then
they have these cheese and crackers. I see some quaker Wait,
hold on, don't eat them all at once, you know,
let him meat all at one. But wait, guys, you
need to hear them. Scary has his chocolate covered almond test.

(24:25):
Have you heard about this that? Yeah, listen to this
so so obviously so so. One of the potential symptoms
of COVID nineteen is if you have a loss of
sense of smell or sense of taste. Every morning, the
first thing I do when I stretched my muscles to
make sure that no short shortness of breath and I'm

(24:45):
not tight. I go into the kitchen and I reach
in and I eat a dark chocolate covered almond to
see if I could still taste it. And when I do,
I realize, oh, this is so good, and I have
eleven more. So I know. You know what the funny
You know, it's funny about this conversation. When he gets up,
he stretches his muscles. Scary, he's got muscles beneath all

(25:07):
this blood. But I tell you I have somewhere but no,
because no, because you have to do these facing tests
because of the shortness of breath. Okay, So, so you
sniffy website. Okay, thank you. You sniff your chocolate covered almonds,
and so you know you can get up and get going. Yes,
a question from Froggy. Yes, Froggy, so scary. You spend
like thirty days losing all that weight or forty days

(25:28):
whatever it was. How much of it have you put
back on during the coronavirus quarter? Honey, he's fourth he's
fourth quarter. Scary already second only about three pounds. All right,
you're not alone. I did the push up challenge yesterday

(25:48):
and you did up. By the way, By the way,
I do believe I'm looking at the calendar. It's still
first quarter, isn't it scary? We love your scary? Hey,
do we still have someone on the phone? Is a
Nicole still on the line? Line twenty four? Oh, you
guys have to meet Nicole. Another hero. We love talking

(26:11):
to heroes. Nicole. How's it going, How are you doing,
how are you feeling? What? What's your day all about? Today?
My day is about heading into the lab and making
sure to keep people are keeping safe from So tell
everyone what you do. What is it you do do?
I'm from up state New York. Uh we I work
in like one of our bigger hospital in a lab,

(26:33):
so we do a lot of the specimen processing for dictatients.
Um did a lot of pre testing, just kind of
you know, we're all set up, just kind of waiting
for the for the rest of the testing to come. Yeah.
So you are in there, uh doing the COVID nineteen
testing and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, rule out testing,

(26:54):
pre testing and just we're ready, just waiting for everything
to uh finally show up. Yeah. And when do you
think when do you think that's going to start showing up?
We here soon. We're like I said, literally set up.
We have pench ready. We are good to go. We're
just waiting for the Okay, may we have them, but
we're ready. We had been ready. Please take all precautions

(27:16):
to stay safe. And Nicole, and we add you to
our list and everyone you work with tell him we said,
thank you, and uh we add you to our list
of people. You're our heroes. And I hope you have
a great day you guys too. All right, take care
bye bye. Look you know, wow, that's just one story
of ten million who are listening to this show right now.
And uh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I have

(27:40):
this cake in here, I don't know what to do
with it. Eat it. Well, here's the thing. Alex is
not a huge chocolate fan. It's a chocolate cake, and
so now it's a twelve inch cake, it's pretty big.
A quarter of the cake is gone, meaning he had
a small piece. I've had a quarter of the cake
and it's it's so beautiful. My friend Gretchen, her daughter Ella,

(28:00):
you know them, she made this cake. It's beautiful and
I'm not about to destroy this cake. I'm not gonna
throw it away. But Scary says you can freeze cake.
I've never heard of this concept. Pre slice, pre slice
it and put it in the freezer and then every
time you want a piece, throw it in the microway
for thirty five seconds and boom, you got got a hot,
moist piece of cake. But how long? How long can

(28:22):
you do that for? Because I have freeze the cake
for a year. You know, when they tell you to
do that for your anniversary, taste like crap the following
year my birthday. My birthday cake has been in this
since February first, since the Super Bowl weekend, and uh yeah,
and then it's still good. Every once in a while
I'll defrust a piece and I'll eat it and it's
great that I'm telling you a part of first quarter. Scary. Yeah,

(28:49):
Scary n's his own network. I would I would watch
Scary all day. It's like going to the zoo and
having an animal on exhibit. I want Scary on exhibit
because everything he does, everything he says, just it's thrills me.
I love it. Hey, what'd you have for dinner last night?
Gandhi go ahead? Uh? Yesterday I was actually really really good.
I think my body is revolting from all the junk
that I ate. I just had salad yesterday. I even

(29:11):
posted a picture. I was so proud of myself with
the salad. But what are we gonna add to what
we're just saying? Oh? No, I was just saying. My
favorite thing about Scary is if I ever ask him
for a food recommendation, I see those three dots typing
for like twenty minutes, and then I'll get a paragraph,
then another paragraph and another paragraph about where to go.
It's amazing. For dinner last night, Danielle, I made a

(29:34):
chicken bruschetta, which was delicious with fresh tomatoes, and then
we had some Rios spaghetti with rios. Uh. No, I
didn't use sauce because I just used the bruschetta sauce.
That was delicious. And then I put those Pillsbury you know,
those flaky biscuits in the other and we had those
flaky biscuits with it though. That was good. That's a

(29:54):
good stripper named flaky biscuits to the stage. Flakey biscuit.
Oh yeah. We had big fat, two inch steaks on
the grill and some mashed potatoes and some grain beans.
It was so good. Hey Daniell, why are you here?
Let's get into the Danielle Report. All right, So let's

(30:16):
talk about Lady Gaga. Her new album was supposed to
come out April tenth, but it will be delayede is
decided due to coronavirus, we are not going to be
getting it yet. So she will let us know when
it is going to come out, but it will definitely
be delayed. So here's what little Yadi is doing to
pass the time. He is doing a talent show on
his Instagram page with his fans for cash prizes. He

(30:40):
had somebody eat deodorant, he had one guy shave off
his eyebrows, and there's promising that he is sending out
the money to his fans. Yes, that's what's going on
over there, so you may want to get him good.
I don't know, Hope. I don't know if you've been
following Cardi B on Instagram. But she did a little
Instagram live where she insinuated that selects may have been

(31:00):
paid to say that they have coronavirus. So Idris Elba
got a little bit upset about that and didn't say
her name, but basically came back with this is kind
of stupid. Why would anybody do this? What? Really? It's
just dump. Then Carty came back with another video basically
just saying I said what I said and saying how

(31:21):
celebrities can get tested a lot easier than people that
aren't celebrities. You gotta go watch. It's really interesting. But yeah,
Carty does it in Cardi fashion. Let's just say so.
Kristen Bell and Dack Shephard are doing something pretty cool.
They own at least two buildings. They've decided not to

(31:42):
collect April's rent. They are going to also work with
residents moving forward because a lot of people are out
of jobs right now. Unemployment is ridiculous, and so they
are taking care of people. I love it. And Nico
Hart Kevin Hart expecting another baby, So through all this craziness,
something positive is happening. Ryan Reynolds, he was urging fans
to stay home, and then he was poking fun at celebrities.

(32:05):
He said, I think in time of crisis, we all
know that it's the celebrities we can count on. I mean,
we can definitely count on them the most. He said.
They're the ones that are gonna help us get through this.
He said, right after the healthcare workers or the first responders,
people who work, you know, essential places, pink pong players, mannequins,
you know, four hundred other people come first, and then

(32:27):
the celebrities. He even put mannequins before celebrities. Very interesting.
I don't know if you guys have been following Pink
on social but she has definitely been keeping me entertained.
So there is something that happens when she drinks, which
she said she's been doing since she has been in
her house. And here's what happens. I don't know how
much you guys have been drinking. I'm a quarantine thing,

(32:49):
but I've decided to make it a sport. Yeah, I'm
going to share something. End in last say, when I drink,
I get really, really brilliant ideas night, I got an idea,
I can cut hair. I didn't totally cut hair. Why
have I been paying people all this time? Pretty good?

(33:10):
Looks terrible? Just to let you know her head after
Martiniz last night, Alex was chasing me around the house
with scissors. He's like, come on, let me cut it.
I'm like, no, We've been drinking. And secondly, you don't
know what you're doing. I'd have long, long, gross looking
hair that have you chop it all off? Not a
good idea, but go to pink Social if you want

(33:32):
to see her brilliant haircut. Multiple sources are saying Prince
Charles has a coronavirus mild symptoms, but he was home.
He's been working from home and as of right now,
nobody else has it. So I'll keep you posted on that.
Next hour, we're gonna talk about Sebastian Maniscalco and what
he thinks of Frozen the movie, and Anna wanting to

(33:53):
build a snowman. Gia online one had to close down
her bakery, but she's still sending stuff out. This is
this is a very common story. But you know what
we need to hear about who is still open and
delivering and shipping? Is GA still online? One? Yes? How
you doing? Gia? So Willow and Olivia dot com is

(34:16):
where you can go. Now, what is your specialty? What
do you bake? That's the best chocolate chip cookies? We
have a broadbill and Chaco chip cookies. Wow? Did you
have to let anyone go? Well? Now, hold on, did
you have to let anyone go at the bakery? I did?
I did, and I try. I survived two weeks by

(34:38):
myself doing everything, and we even move everything to curbside
pick up and close the store for to the public.
And it's just we just don't have the traffick anymore.
Everyone's inside and we're NONI essential. You know, we're essential
because we're sweet, but we're still considering none essential. So
now we're going to get it back. Don't you worry.

(35:00):
We're gonna get it back. Now. When did we have
your cookies? In two thousand and eleven, I dropped off
some cake balls and stuff up there. You love the
key line cake ball that I did, um, and you
talked about it, and I got promotors and I kept
going from there, and two a year and a half ago,

(35:20):
I finally opened my storefront and good for you, Ben,
it's been amazing, Like I credit you and even Alex
because we go all the way back to the Dylan
time days Elbert. Wow, look at that. Yeah yeah, yeah, Okay,
now it's all slowly coming back. Okay, look Gia. Her

(35:41):
address is Willow and Olivia dot com. I do remember
your your key line balls right? Oh god, yea yeah,
key line balls. That just gets me all hot and bothered. Listen,
hold on, listen, Thank you for listening, and hold on,
just just just stay in there, and we're gonna bring
you back to life. We're gonna bring all these miss
businesses back on full throttle, and yours is one of them.

(36:02):
And check check out gas check out Jia's website right
now at Willow and Olivia dot com. And we love you.
Thanks for listening. I would love a key line ball,
just one the left, one in the left. We gotta
take a break. We'll be back right after this. Miss
part of today's show Elvis Duran on Demand, Everyone Clown,

(36:22):
every show posted every day Sergi Elvis Durand on demand
only on the iHeartRadio app Elvis durand in the morning
show Stamps dot com. They bring all the services of
the US Postal Service right to your computer. It's so easy.
Just click print mail and you're done. Get a four
week trial plus postage in digital scale. When you go
to stamps dot com, click on the microphone at the

(36:43):
top of the homepage. Type in Elvis that stamps dot com.
Enter the code to Elvis. Hey, good morning. You're crazy
monkey Elvis Durand in the Morning showy G you call
us crazy monkeys. Yeah, yeah, well, thank you. I'll consider
that a compliment anyway, thanks for listening to us. We're

(37:03):
just getting to the day. You know, every day we
have a new technical glitch. Like some days the microphones
don't work, and some days I sound like Darth Vader,
and some days, you know, whatever today's is, I just
can't get Wi Fi to work. It's like every day
there's a challenge. Have you noticed that? Yeah, Like like
Danielle in your house, in your life, what is your

(37:25):
challenge right now? But you're getting along, but it's like
that one thing that's just irritating you. Um, I trying
to think of what it is. So I don't know,
I don't I don't have one yet, but I'm sure
one is. Oh cook for you about you. What's going
on in your house? It's just just irritating the hell
out of you. Um, I think it's me. I keep

(37:45):
doing things around here that I shouldn't be doing, like
moving around my furniture and thinking I'm gonna get it
all set up, and now I've created a little mess,
and it's my own fault. So I am what's annoying
me in my own house? Yeah? In straight night, what's
irritating in your life? Okay? You know, Fortunately I can
work from home, and so can my fiance. However, when
I'm trying to work, our apartment is very small, so

(38:06):
when she's on the phone having a conference call and
I'm typing an email, I find myself typing what she's
saying on the conference call instead of what I'm supposed
to be typing, and it just confuses me and I
get frustrated and we need a bigger apartment. It's just
that one little irritating thing. And all in all, we
have our health, we're doing well. You know, We've we've
got each other, and by the grace of God, we

(38:29):
have these pieces of equipment that can let us do
our show anywhere in the world. So we're doing okay,
speaking of being anywhere in the world. I can't wait
till we can travel outside of New York again. But
as of now, New Yorkers are the most hated coronavirus
carrying people. We are the lowest of the low. Did
you hear what they said yesterday? Gandhi? What's the story again?

(38:51):
So everybody is blaming us for everything. They're calling New
York the epicenter of all of the virus. I mean,
we didn't start it, but now that's the report getting
We're not allowed to travel now. Apparently anybody coming from
New York going anywhere needs a quarantine for fourteen days.
My own family is looking at me and telling me
I got the ache. I'm like, hey, excuse you. Wasn't

(39:11):
it yesterday they were telling you to visit them in Columbus,
Ohio and to just hunker down with them. Yes, so
take back your invitation. She didn't take it back, but
she said I need to sit, and I quote sit
your ass at home for those fourteen days. I'm gonna
come get you. You're gonna run out of the apartment
with your stuff, get in the car and go. We're
not go. We're not looking at anything I'm not coming

(39:33):
into your building. You're just gonna get in the apartment
or get in the car and go. I'm like, okay,
sounds fine. Look, there are many things you should hate
us for. If this is not one of them, I
think we're gonna be okay. There's so many obnoxious things
about New Yorkers that you could put on the list
ahead of the fact that we can infect you. Hello, Wow, Gary,

(39:54):
Gary is delivering milk. And I just have to say
thank you to Gary because I had a nice as
of milk with my chocolate cake last night and it
was the most satisfying, one of the most satisfying things
I've ever had in my mouth. Don't ask questions. Hello, Gary,
how are you doing? Whoa good? How are you doing?
We're doing okay. So you're out there delivering milk and
it is milk delivery at an all time high. Are

(40:17):
people still buying a lot of milk or is it less?
What is your opinion? Yeah, we're definitely delivering a lot
more milk than ever usually, even during Christmas and all
the holidays. Wow, doing with it? What's your quote? What
are people doing with milk? Gary delivers it. He wants

(40:38):
to know what you're doing with it. It has exploration data.
I mean you can't freeze it because of kernels when
you just spross it. So what are people doing? I mean,
I'm drinking it with cake and people are putting it
in cake. You know, so no cereal? You know people
are eating cereal. How do you like your milk? Anyone?
Gary wants to know? For chocolate? Yep, yeah, chocolate, strawberry

(41:06):
milk's good too. No, no, but he's just delivering this
plain old white milk, right, is that what you're delivering?
White milky? Just milk? Okay, So text me now, okay,
text me now at fifty five what are you doing
with Gary's milk? And we'll get back to your Gary.
Just keep listening, okay, okay, and whatever you do, don't

(41:28):
stop delivering it. If they want to keep delivering it,
we don't know what they're doing with it. We're gonna
find out and have a safe day. And thanks for
keeping it all moving. Gary. We appreciate you very much.
Thank you. You're very welcome. Yeah, you know, I just
have a glass of milk, and Alex looked at me.
When you drink milk milks for kids, I mean yeah,
they say that only kids should be drinking milk. Milk

(41:48):
is not protein that kids need. But I don't know
what about you? Straighten it? You love your milk. I
love my milk. You know. I love myself some milky cocktails.
In fact, one of my favorite things to do ever
since the pandemic started is at night, I get myself
a nice tall glass of milk and pour some Kohlua
in there. And that's adult chocolate milk. Boys and girls us.

(42:10):
You know what they have at I think it's Target.
They have these straws that are flavored, and if you
put it in your milk, like these little pieces of
chocolate and strawberry come up through the straws and it
flavors the milk. It's insane. I can't remember the name
of it. I could go upstairs and look. But they
are so good. My kids love them. So good about you, scary?
How are you? How are you drinking your milk? Well,

(42:32):
by the way, what an interesting show this is. Growing up,
I would have a glass of milk with cookies every
day after school. But I've come to the realization that
we are the only animals that drink other animals milk.
If you think about it. We drink cow's milk. So
now I stand in front of in the milk aisle,
and I stand do I want almond milk? So I

(42:54):
milk oat milk? Look at all this milk. It's it's
not milk. But I'm like, is this is a healthier milk?
Then there's dairy free half and half? Okay, I think
you've lost your mind when it comes to milk. I
really do, I really do you know? They say milk
does a body good? Scary, go drink some milk. Milk,
you're like, milk? Okay? I love all right, Well, thanks

(43:15):
for listening once again. Put it in, put it in
the freezer, and has this the little slippers ice in this?
So what's super super cool? That's the best way to
drink milk. I wonder what our ratings are doing right now?
Do radio shows have higher ratings when they talk about milk,
because we'll have the milk discussion every freaking day, just milk.
The milk discussion is making me a little a little sicky.
I do not like milk. I like, I know Scottie

(43:37):
and Andrew they have their cereal back there, and I
always go back there and try to find the other
milk that's not dairy milk. Milk freaks me out. I
don't like it. Milk freaks me out, says Gandhi of
The Elvist and Morning Show. I'll quote you on that,
all right, So milk in your cereal? Babies need milk?
Uh taking a bath in it? People take milk baths.
I've never done that. There's no, there's nothing Grossers are

(43:57):
looking in your bathtub filled with milk and there's like
a pubic hair are floating in it. It's like, oh, well,
I don't know. All right, So people are ordering milk.
Let's keep Gary in business. Order your milk, drink your milk.
If you don't like it, give it to friends who
need milk. Can we move on to hell? I will
gift it to friends. We have lost our minds people. Hey,

(44:18):
the question is is the coronavirus going to bring the
world closer together or further apart? Have you thought about
these deep questions? Oh? Yes, what do you think? Gandhi?
It's really tough to tell because you see stories on
both sides of it, right. You see people who are
coming together and helping each other out, helping neighbors, doing
the right thing, and then you see these crazy people

(44:39):
who are out there hoarding supplies and trying to sell
them on eBay for god knows what. I think though
so far we've seen more good than bad. Okay, more
good than bad. If we can just keep it running
that way, I think we're good. I don't know. I'm
seeing great things happening. I'm seeing people really really sharing
others on. People who have friends who aren't doing well,

(45:00):
who are scared, who are lonely, who are sick. They're
cheering them on. And you know, sometimes people need something
to do. You know what do other people, and I
don't mean in a sexual way, look for people who
need just like a hello, or how you doing. Do
you have a list of people that you're calling every
day or every other day just to check in with them.
I've got my list, and I know that I'm on

(45:21):
people's lists. Do that. It's so easy to get into
your own space where you think it's only about you,
but it actually helps you to help other people, right, Danielle. Yeah,
And it's really nice just to get out if you
can take a walk and see strangers, you know, because
people are just happy to go, Hey, how are you
from like across the street, just to say hello to you.

(45:41):
It might be you might be the only person they
see that day. So just say hello back, give a
good wave, and you know, keep walking. Hey, Ganda, you
just sent me a message. You're doing a good thing today.
What's that? Yeah? Am I mistaken? Or are you guys
doing something with a restaurant you and Alex today? Oh? Oh,
Kim Cook's. Yes, our friend Kim who has this restaurant

(46:02):
on Staten Island called Kim Cooks. She is one of
our favorite chefs. She's brought us food to the station
for many years. Even on her menu she has the
Elvis Duran Chicken Palm, which I'm just flattered. She's got
fantastic food. She does clean food, or she does you know,
good and cheesy food, whatever you want. So for her
curbside delivery today, Alex and I are paying fifty percent

(46:25):
of everyone's food bill today. So if you go to Kim's,
Kim Cook's, Kim's Cooks. Is it Kim's cos Kim Cooks.
It's on Staten Island. If you go there today, you've
got a phone ahead or you know, figure out how
you're going to order we'll take care of half your bill.
It's called Kim Cooks and Caterers. They're on Lincoln Avenue
ninety seven, Lincoln. You can go to Kim Cooks and

(46:45):
Caters dot com curbside delivery and so yeah, Alex and
are picking up half the bill for everyone's lunch and dinner.
He goes till seven o'clock tonight. See, that's so nice
of you. You're doing the nice thing. Well, I'm gonna
get people fat. Sound like you're doing a thing. You're
like you're doing well. I'm not. I was just thinking
in my head of how I could get there to

(47:06):
get the food today. Well, you may not do it
this time, but remember Kim and remember all of your
restaurants that are still open, thank god, and they're doing
a curbside delivery and take out. Tip tip them is
if you can give them tips, even if it's takeout,
you know they deserve gratuity for the people that are
putting it all together for you. Take out. A couple
of days ago, I tipped twenty percent on the takeout.

(47:28):
I'm like, you know what, That way it helps them
because I know fewer people are going in and you're
still doing the right thing. Also in New York City,
they're doing restaurant bonds. Have you heard of this? Bo
nds rather than war bonds back in the in the
day where you would you would buy a chunk of
the government and they would pay you back with interest later.
You can actually go to some restaurants and they'll sell

(47:48):
you like a gift certificate for fifty dollars and in
six months it'll be worth seventy five dollars. They're actually
doing that so you can you can help them stay
in business. So do what you can. Buy gift cards
keep them in business. We need them because we're gonna
get out of this one day and you're gonna be hungry.
More information about Kim Cooks. If you're in Staten Island,
go to Elvis Duran dot com. Also support restaurants dot org.

(48:14):
Restaurants around New York City and elsewhere, there are se
many gift certificates online and it's like a savings bond.
It's worth more later Support restaurant dot org. That is
that addressed. We've got to get into the news. The
three things you need to know. One of the news
stories coming out of England, Prince Charles Yes is latest,
the latest to be added to the list. Go ahead, Gandhi,
he is that is it? Prince Charles has been the

(48:35):
latest person celebrity wise. We know that is tested positive
for the coronavirus. His wife Camilla has not tested positive.
But they are currently hold up at a castle in Scotland. Elvis,
you know the castle? What is it? How do you
pronounce bal moorl Balmorrel? There at the balm it's their
Christmas castle in Scotland. It's their hunting lodge and now

(48:56):
it's their quarantine castle. How family, that's where they'll be
for Porden Castle. A deal was announced early this morning
that's going to provide two trillion dollars in economic relief
for businesses, laid off workers, and families affected by the
coronavirus pandemic. It's estimated that over half of the US

(49:16):
population right now is under some form of shelter and place.
We all are, and of course that includes business closures
because of the pandemic. We're talking about ways to help
them out. All of that, like Elvis just said, is
at elvistran dot com for all of the restaurant info
we just mentioned. And finally, how about some stories of
covidiots practicing covidiacy. A person in Kentucky has COVID nineteen

(49:39):
after attending a coronavirus party. Yes, all of these kids
got together to party to say we're not going to
get it. Well, at least one of them has it,
and they're expecting some more. So keep in mind if
you're attending things like this, not only are you putting
your own health on the line, you're also risking the
lives of other people around you. On that same note,
dozens of those spring breakers who we saw in Miami
saying that they were going to party and have a

(49:59):
good time, dozens of them have been diagnosed with the
coronavirus as well, and some new stats out now saying
that half of all cases in New York and California
are actually young adults. So keep that in mind, stay
inside as much as you can, because we're trying to
flatten that curve. And those are your three things. Thank you, Gandhi,
Thanks for our friends at Delongie. We're all caffeinated and
having a great morning because we're buzzing. But also Delonghi

(50:21):
wants to help you with paying the bills. A one
thousand dollars Delongie phone tap A free money phone tap
coming up right after this open the Heart RADIOAB and
here everything you missed with Delvis Duran on demand to
the music. I want to listen to you guys. Yeah,
I know Duran in the morning show. Have you got

(50:42):
any money to free money phone tap? All right, let's
get into it. It's worth one thousand dollars. I love
a good phone tap. I hope this is funny. Whose
is it? It's mine? Oh scary, but I play the
part of little Wayne. Oh god, this is get ready
for bad Accent theater. It's so funny to wide scary

(51:05):
do a little Wayne phone taps. Anyway, Thanks to our
friends at DELONGI our official espresso machine to the show.
As you know, and there's such a valuable community partner
of ours. The last five years we've raised mega mountains
of money with them to give to organizations and people
who just need it. And so of course during this time,
as they use the word uncertainty, which is so true,

(51:28):
during this awful bleak time, our friends at DeLonge are
stepping up again. They're providing community members and local heroes
comfort and a sense of normalcy, just to get through
the day, and we need to get through all these days,
and once we do, will collectively be great again and
feeling good. And thanks to Delongi, they remind us local
heroes are all around us, police officers, firefighters, EMTs, teachers

(51:53):
who are getting food for students, and grocers who are
keeping the doors open, and the hospital workers on the
front lines, and given away coffeemakers to all of them
all week long. So thank you to DeLonge not only
for giving us some incredible, incredible, sexy Delongy coffeemakers and
other appliances to give to our listeners, but also a
thousand dollars to help pay your bills. If your caller

(52:14):
one hundred, this is the Scary Jones lol, Wayne, one
thousand dollars free money phone tap. If you want to
win a thousand, be caller one hundred now one eight
hundred two for two zero one hundred. Thank you, Delongy.
We love you so much. All right, let's get into it.
Let's go Elvis, Elvis Durant, Elvis Durant. Phone Tap. Let's
see what scaries phone tap is all about today. So

(52:35):
Kiera's in high school and she gets in trouble there
all the time. Now, add to that the fact that
her mom is overprotective of her when she can be.
In fact, her mom is so strict that Kira just
got her first cell phone recently, and so I figured
I'd pretend to be Kira's boyfriend calling her cell phone. Okay,
her mom is not very happy. All right, here we go. Hello, Hey, Kira,

(53:01):
who's this? It's little Wayne? How are you? Who? Who's
doing this? It's Wayne from the schoolyard. How are you doing? Oh? Hey,
how are you doing? But did you hear what your hell?
I say? What are you talking to on the phone? Right? No? Mom?
Hold on? You want to hang out? Uh? Do you

(53:21):
want to hang out? Hold on? Give me the phone?
Tell me when your parents are at home? Excuse me?
Who's that? This is her mother? My name's Wayne. How
are you doing? My excuse you? Let me explain something
to you. Wayne. I don't know where are you calling
from or who you are. But Kara is not supposed
to be on the phone talking to nobody, which means
you Why I don't get it. Why can't you talk

(53:41):
to people on the phone? Well, excuse me. Sounds on
my phone? And the first of all, right, now. I
don't know who you are, but you sound like a
slow life and I don't want you on the phone
with my child. Why did she have a cell phone? Then,
it's none of your damn business why she got a
cell phone. It's emergency, that's why she got herself on it.
Have nothing to do with you camera. Let me tell you.

(54:03):
Hold on you right now, me and you, I'm about
to kick your ass. Listen to me. You're gonna calm
right now because I've had it up hill with your ass.
Young man. You are not to call this phone young money.
No mo not, young man. Excuse the young money. But
let me tell you right now, you got the wrong

(54:24):
I could call you weasy, you out of your g
Let me explain something to you. You where's your parents?
That's what you need. You need to put your mama
on the phone right now, because I don't know about you.
I've never heard you before, never seen you before. Put
your mother on the phone because you're not gonna be
calling him to my house with this child right thinking
your daughter is bionic? What are you talking about. I

(54:47):
don't think she's beautiful. I think she's beyond that. Hello, Hey,
it's Wayne again. How's your mom? What you know? What? Crazy? No,
you're crazy, not crazy. I'm not crazy for you. The
one that's gonna wound up on YouTube. That's why I
just went through this before. When that guy calls here,

(55:08):
I hit it and I put it norther. This is
what I'm gonna have to do with you. Stop the girl.
I ain't got no time for you. No more speaker phone. Yes,
tell your mom that I'm a good guy and I
shared my forty with you. Bring him in my face.
I can crack of forty over his damn head. Tell
your mind that I'm fighting for this girl on the battle.
Feel the love. Get off my phone. I don't care.

(55:29):
I'm going to see him tonight. Don't look like baby cupids.
You ain't going nowhere. You stay right up in this
damn you can't. You can't make me do nothing. I'm
going to my father house and let jay Z go
and pay for yourself. Go ahead, that's what you do,
because I why are you calling this? Are you still serious?

(55:50):
Are serious? Stop calling me? Stop calling here? Telling me
this is my phone? I could make it. What is this?
I just want to get behind it. You want to
get behind run Just you're done. I'm a will No,
let me explain something to you what I will have. No,
you're gonna mouth Cara. That's it. I don't have time

(56:13):
for the I work hard in my life. Yea, I'm
not calling you. Tone you little rodent, and I will
have the police at your house. Okay, like a cop. Cop.
Don't stand there and stare at me like that. This
is your boots on this phone. I'm done with this.

(56:33):
You're crazy. Oh I'm crazy. Oh I'm crazy. You're about
to see crazy, bitch. This guy's a clown. Okay, yeah, yeah,
I want to know what the assignment is. Gonna excuse me. Okay,
you will not beg have a sex class together as
colin for the homework. First of all, I have my

(56:53):
daughter schedule. My daughter is not taking any sex educational classes.
Wait a minute, is this the kid I got arrested
for bringing the boots in the sister to school and
selling it. No, actually, I'm an aspiring rap artist. You
were inspiring rap artist. You're aspired. I like to wrap
my damn fits around your damn faith. You need to
go and get I got chiplele a, and I'm a

(57:14):
part of alcoholics anonymous. Are you still serious? Are you serious? Bob? Hello, Bob,
this is Scary Jones from Elvis Train in the Morning Show. Hello,
you're trapped, Carol, get your ass over here. I think

(57:40):
according Little Wayne lyrics were give it away, it's not wayning,
it's low Wayne, scar give it to me. Put your
hand on the top, girl, and your leg on the toilet.

(58:01):
Oh my god, that's so sexy, funny. All right, look,
thank you Scary for an incredible free montey phone tap.
Let's go talk to Linda and see what's going on
in her world right now. Hey, Linda, welcome to the show.
How are you doing today? Oh my gosh, I'm going fine.

(58:22):
How are you we're doing We're doing well. I'm so
glad you're listening. Yeah, Scary in his a little Wayne.
That was pretty good. I love it. Yeah. Well, I'm
gonna give you something else to love, a thousand dollars.
You just won one thousand dollars with the DeLonge free
money phone tap. Oh my god, are you kidding me? No,
not at all. So much. What's going on in your family?

(58:44):
Laid off? Wait? Wait, who who was laid off? My husband?
My husband and my son. They both got laid off
because the coronavirus. Oh wow, look, so don't you look
perfect timing. I'm so glad that you were calling one
hundred to day and I could not think of anyone
better to give this money to. Thank you so much
for listening. I wanted to thank you guys. I listen

(59:07):
to N's every morning on my way to work every morning.
You guys are phenomenal. Well, now I wouldn't go that far.
Thank you. What was that Gandhi? I think she's from Pittsburgh.
I heard a yuns and I hear the accent. I'm
right outside of Pittsburgh and like Washdon County. Oh cool,

(59:28):
glad you're listening to it. Listen. You give your son
and your husband our best, and it's up to you
if you want to tell them you want a thousand,
or you can hide it from them, that's up to you. No,
I'm going to the grocery store, all right, Good, you
go buy some great food and thank you for listening
to us. Linda, thank you so much. Hold on and

(59:49):
God bless you and your family. Hold on, there you go.
I love it. I love it when we can give
away money someone else's money. Thank you, Delonghi, and it
is good to someone really cool like Linda and her family.
That is the free money phone tap. Let's do it
again tomorrow. Thank you again to Delonghi. If ever you
need anything as far as an espresso or coffeemaker, just
go to Delongey dot org, Delongy dot com, DeLong dot us,

(01:00:11):
I don't know what, dot something and just look at
all the stuff they have and support them because they're
supporting people like like Linda. So let's get into the
Danielle Report. Danielle, it's away, it's DeLonge dot us. Okay, done, Danielle, Okay,
all right. So this week I'm very excited because keeping
up with the Kardashians. We'll be back for the new season.

(01:00:34):
And the trailer is fantastic because Kim and Courtney go
at it. They are just like remember last season, I
told you that Courtney was just done with the show.
She just wanted to move on. And so they get
into a physical fight and Mom Chris was actually very
embarrassed about this fight. You get to see it go down.

(01:00:54):
There's little bits and pieces of it on this trailer.
But this week, the show is back and it is
going to be cosy and it gives me something to do.
So I'm very excited about this. So that is back
this week. Let's talk about all things Kardashian. You know,
Camila Cabell has decided to postpone her romance tour was
supposed to kick off in July and Vancouver. We all
know why, so that will be postponed. Justin Bieber announced

(01:01:18):
that every Tuesday and Thursday he will release a set
of compilations. His first set went out yesterday, five Songs.
Wants to know what you would think of him? Go
to his Instagram and you can check it out. And
he's just doing this, you know, path the time for
himself and to give his fans a little something while
everything is going down. Louis Capaldi has a new documentary

(01:01:39):
out and in it he talks about the fact that
he was a mistake, not part of his parents' plan.
He says that his parents were very sad. He says
his mom was even more sad because his dad was
supposed to have a vasectomy didn't happen, and so when
when he came out, they were not happy campers. And

(01:02:00):
you know how funny Louis Cafaldi is, so just imagine
the delivery when he talks about it. It was really
really funny. I'm sure at this point they were very
happy that he's here because he's doing fabulous things. Sam
Smith took to Instagram and he gave us a beautiful
cover of what the world needs now is love. Here's
what it sounded like. It's the only thing that does

(01:02:32):
just too little love. And Miley Cyrus. You know, she's
doing her live talk show, so today she has a
women's Wednesday theme. She's got Reese Witherspoon, Hillary duff Boebe Rexa,
and Duelipa on. So check that out on her Instagram.
Sebastian Mattascalco is keeping me so entertained as well because
he's petting up all his comedy. Okay, so he was

(01:02:53):
watching Frozen with his daughter and his wife, and he
was explaining why Anna should have given up on trying
to build that damn snowman with Elsa a long time ago. Okay,
now twelve, Still you want to build a snow man?
Don't opening for the last three or four years. Still

(01:03:14):
don't get the hint. Still don't get the hint. Fine,
another friend, Okay, sister coming out to play if you haven't,
If you haven't seen the video, you have to. It's
freaking hysterical. I was cracking up. It's so funny. And
he's actually watching the movie as he's talking about it.

(01:03:35):
It's really funny. And if you guys remember Evangeline Lily
said that she wasn't going to self quarantine, right, freedom
over life, that's what she said. Oh yeah, well she
angered her boss is over at Disney, and the rumor
is that they're rewriting Aunt Man and that her part
has the Wasp may be minimized in the movie this
time around because they are not happy with the comments

(01:03:57):
that she made about coronavirus. So it's out of television.
You've got Survivor, you've got the Mask Singer, and you've
got Lego Masters, which I love because you get to
pass the time there with that one. All right, we
gotta take a break. According to Nate, who's holding up
three fingers to the camera, we're taking a break. What
does that mean? Three fingers? We need to know all

(01:04:18):
the three things we need to know? Okay, three, that's
what Okay, that's our new universal sign for three. All right,
thank you, straight Andate, I love you. You and your
gloves on your one finger, Yeah, the metal finger. Than
you have a proctology exam with his gloves. I know
he looks like he's about to go out back to
the barn and check the horse. I love those gloves
on you. All right, into the three things we need

(01:04:38):
to know, Gandhi, what's going on? Well? President Trump says
he would love to see the US fully open again
by Easter, saying that social distancing guidelines are being assessed
and arguing that the country could be destroyed by actually
closing it down for too long. He then added that
the US loses thousands of people to the flu each year,
but nobody suggests turning the country off for that. Ford

(01:05:00):
Motor Company set to partner now with three M and
ge they're gonna make face shields, ventilators, and air purifying
respirators after engineers figured out that a seat cooling blower
used in the Ford F one fifty truck can actually
be used in a filtration system as well. So Ford
and three M have a goal of pushing out as
many as ten times more respirators than are currently being manufactured.

(01:05:21):
So that's going to be really great if they can
get it done. And finally, we've been talking about how
everyone is doing their part, and that includes Pornhub and
gangs in Brazil. I don't know if you guys saw
this story, but Pornhub donated fifty thousand surgical masks to
New York cities emergency workers. Don't ask me why they
have them or what they were using them for, but
they've donated them. They're also making their premium service free

(01:05:42):
for thirty days to encourage people to stay inside. And
some gang leaders in Brazil are now enforcing the curfews
themselves because they say that it's their way of helping out.
So everyone doing their part. This is great. Thank you
so much, CONDI. Several things truck drivers I hear on
the text messages. Truck drivers, UH, they can't, you know,

(01:06:03):
go into restaurants to get food. They need to drive through.
You can't drive a semi through a drive through. They're
not talling. So we all drive throughs for our heroes
that are in the trucks. Damn it to hell, but thanks,
thank you guys for us staying on the road and
keeping us moving. Also, if schools are still in session
in your town, let's hear it for the UH the
crossing guards nice. I know, thank you, thank you. They

(01:06:27):
say they need more love, all right. Also, McDonald's is
doing truck side service for some truckers, so we'll let
you know. If we find out any more businesses that
have drive throughs they can't fit semis. We'll let you
know truckers where they are and how to find them.
We got to take a break. We'll be back after this.

(01:06:51):
Hiring is challenging, but there's one place you can go
where hiring is actually simple and smart. That place is
zip recruiter. We're growing businesses connect to qualified candidates. Try
it for free at zip frecruider dot com, slash Elvis
zip f recruiter the smartest way to hire. Hey, can
I say something? You got to hear this. This is hilarious.

(01:07:16):
Oh god, oh my god. I love you guys. I
hear you every morning. By the way, I just laughed
in a booker came Elvis story in the Morning Show. Wow.
Remember when that was funny. Now it's just scary if
a booker comes out of your nose. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah,
we're talking about this stuff that used to be okay,

(01:07:38):
but now it's ikey, like who wants to play beer
pong right now. No, thank you. That's what's good. Beer
pong has always been like ground zero for everything grows. Yeah,
there's another one, Daniel, he had another one. You just
you're like, no, we're not going to do that anymore. No.
I remember when you used to, like, you want to
finish like the last piece of peanut butter in the jar,
and you were like, oh, I just put my finger

(01:07:59):
in there and lie there is you're doing that now, No,
it's not done. Not a thing to do anymore. Yeah,
that was Gandhi's bobbing for apples. Who's gonna do that? Crap? An,
I'm not gonna apples. No. Always gross, like samples at
the grocery store when they have like bread sitting out
or any of that stuff. I mean I didn't touch

(01:08:21):
it anyway, but yeah, definitely not now. The cheese Wetzels
pretzels at the mall, No, thank you, missus wetzel by
thank you. Yeah. And I don't need more bourbon chicken
from Panda Express anyway. Thank you to the men and
women in the cable world out there keeping our Wi
Fi up and running and so you know, look we're
at home we're bene watching. Thank you so much. Thank

(01:08:42):
you to the pharmacists to keep us healthy. And thank
you to everyone working in sanitation, people like waste management.
I love you guys. Thank you for stopping by and
picking up my stuff yesterday. Plumbers, you're out there unclogging
everyone's drains and public works departments, unclogging of the sewers
because people are I'm all sorts are crap down their
toilet that shouldn't be down there. If you're gonna put

(01:09:03):
crap down your toilet, make sure it's crap. That's it. Yeah,
the real deal. And teachers, let's go talk to Karen
online six before we go around the room and we
visit with Uncle Johnny. He's standing by. Hello, Karen, good morning,
and thank you for being a very very cool third
grade online teacher. You're doing online teaching? Were your third graders?
Good morning? I'm sorry you're doing online teaching with your

(01:09:25):
third graders. Yes, we are. My coach teacher and I
are setting up activities recommended by our district and things
that we can find online that they can do at home.
Oh cool, very cool, Like give us an example. Maybe
even though we're a little beyond third grade, not by far.
I think we would all love to know where we
could go online and be titilated today. They're one of

(01:09:48):
those things that we definitely can set up for them
that's free, is called brain Paths, and they can watch
little videos anywhere from history, science, mass and then they
could take like a little quizz the end of it.
But they're really engaging and fun, very good. Well look, uh,
you're doing great things, Karen by reaching out and connecting

(01:10:09):
via the internet, WiFi in the kids houses, everything. But
I'm sure you are looking so forward to the day
when you can walk into your class with your third graders. Right, yeah,
we do miss them. We missed the interaction. We miss
the moments where we can see them actually understand something,
and we really missed that moment of just like interaction
versus through a computer. Right. Hey, look, um, are you

(01:10:33):
zoomed by caffeine like the rest of us? Um? Now,
not yet? No? Do you like caffeated cocktails beverages? Oh? Yeah,
well you know I am right now going to Duncan. Well,
since you are, well, we love Duncan too, since you
are one of our heroes that we're talking to today,
We've got to send you a delongie all in one

(01:10:55):
espresso and coffeemaker. It's on the way. Now, you're gonna
love it. These things will they will shoot you to
the moon. They're so great it is. And there's something
about delongy appliances and other coffeemakers and things. They're just
sexy to look at. I mean, it's like it's porn

(01:11:16):
and it's coffee all in the corner of your kitchen
and it's all the way. And thank you for being
a teacher. You're a hero car. Thank you very welcome. Thanks,
have a beautiful and healthy day. You two, hold on
one second, love her. Let's go around the room. Okay,
hold on, let's go round the room, and we'll start
with you, scary. What's on your mind today. So, now
that I have all this extra time on my hands

(01:11:37):
throughout the day, I started going through all my bills
and seeing how I could save money and started calling
them one by one. I want to let you all
know that if you call your cell phone company and
start reviewing your current package, chances are you're paying too much.
I save twenty dollars a month on my cell phone
bill just by calling up and inquiring. I'm like, what

(01:11:59):
new deals do you have? There are special deals, add
ons and things that they don't advertise or want you
to know about on your bills. So then I did
the same thing with my my internet bill and my
oh oh, my goodness, my cable bill. So I have
a brand new router coming, an upgrade router for my WiFi,
and I have an upgraded boxes so I could get

(01:12:19):
the biggest, the best high dead. What you're trying to
tell us is you actually adulted. You got on the
phone and called all of you. You called all of
your your utilities, and they're now giving you better deals.
You got a new time. It requires time, but I
have nothing but time. So you know what, Frog, Froggy,
didn't you did this a couple of weeks ago, didn't you? Frog?
You saved a lot of money. I did. I saved

(01:12:40):
a lot of money. Cell phone provider is the best
way to save money. Your Internet, providing your cable, all
that stuff. If you call up and say, hey, I'm
thinking about going to another company, watch how new deals
just show up? Yeah, yeah, there you go. Hey, you
shouldn't be paying all that money to watch Tiger King.
Netflix isn't The Netflix is locked out, Hey, what's up

(01:13:00):
with you today? Gandhi? Well, yesterday I was being a
big baby. I was telling you, guys, I was feeling
lonely and just wanted some attention. So I posted a
picture on Instagram that said pretty much exactly that I said. Hi,
my name is Meida, and I am bored. I want
some attention. The amount of people who thought that I
broke up with my boyfriend is astounding. That did not happen.
We didn't break up, We're still together. Everything is good.

(01:13:21):
I'm just being a baby, that's all. I felt like
I should tell people that because there were a lot
of dms I couldn't get back to. Yeah, people need
to know the truth about your personal life at all times.
I've learned just being a baby, that's it. What about you, Danielle.
So yesterday I was watching one of my son's online classes,
right and I was listening in and I have to

(01:13:42):
give it up for the teachers out there, because the
teacher was trying so hard online to get these kids
to understand what the hell she was talking about, and
it was like pulling teeth and it wasn't hard what
she was saying. When she's like, guys, I just don't
understand and why you're not paying attention and they weren't

(01:14:03):
paying attention. And it's even harder when you're trying to
teach them in an online setting. And I just my
heart was going out to her and it was it
was I just felt so bad, so so all the
teachers out there. I mean, it's hard enough when you're
in the classroom, when you're in an online setting and
you're trying to get them to understand. God bless you
every single day. But yeah, you know you're doing You're
doing the Lord's work. You know you really are. Can

(01:14:26):
you imagine having that patience as just as I couldn't
do that now, not at all. People working in the banks,
thank you so much. By the way, there's no reason
to panic and go take money out of your account
and hide it under your bed. We're not anywhere near that,
So don't do that. I don't think that's a smart
thing to do. Also, um oh, every hour and every

(01:14:48):
half hour, we should be thanking everyone, nurses, doctors, anyone
and everyone who is working. Ear you working hospitals and
you're doing everything you can to keep it together while
people are losing it around you because they're scared. Thank
you so much for what you're doing. Also, a lot
of businesses are closed, but security is very important. People
who are in the security business keeping an eye on

(01:15:09):
these buildings that are empty because there's no one working.
People who are keeping our alarms connected and working. Thank
you so much. You know, you could go on and
on and on. Just think about at least ten people
in your life who are keeping you moving and keeping
you going, and find a way to say hey, thank you.
If you're scary, you'll call him and say hey, while
you're cutting my cable bill in half, I want to

(01:15:29):
say thank you, thank you. Yes, here you go. Someone
who's someone we got to talk to is Uncle Johnny.
We had a nice little conversation with him on FaceTime
last night. Hey Uncle Johnny. Good morning, Hell wold lady,
how are you boys and girls? Good? Are we good?
We're okay? Hello lady. Hello, I'm doing fine. I'm just

(01:15:51):
a little boyed. But you know, like everybody else, you
keep busy in the house looking around doing things. Yeah,
you're looking around and doing things like what do you do?
What things are you doing? Well? I just made myself
a little cup of coffee and I usually don't do
this in the morning, but I decided to put a
little zambooker in it because I knew you were gonna call. Yeah,

(01:16:11):
you knew. We know that. It takes We usually don't
do that. It takes the edge off. Yeah. Well, last
night Alex and I were sitting there and enjoying a
glass of wine and then I hear and it's a
FaceTime And I'm like, I don't pick up facetimes without warning,
but it was Uncle Johnny. I'm like, well, what could
be worse on my end than it's on that end.
Let Uncle Johnny's doing. And Uncle Johnny hair off, martini

(01:16:34):
in hand, and we had a great conversation with you,
Uncle Johnny. It was great steing you and hearing from
you today or yesterday. Well, thank you because I was
just missing you when I wanted to say hello. And
I'm glad that I got you to have a martini. Yeah, yeah,
Alex did talk me into having a martini last night.
I'm like, whoa, hello, do we do we have to

(01:16:54):
cook the green beans? We did cook the green beans
because I wish forget the green beans when I drink martini.
Do you do you guys want to see anything, Uncle Johnny.
Do you have any questions for the wise one? Yeah?
How you doing, Uncle Johnny? Is anyone looking out for you?
Do you need stuff? No? I'm fine. I went to
Colasgow a few weeks before this all started to go,

(01:17:15):
and I have plenty of food, plenty of alcohol, and uh,
I've just been Uh. I sit here looking out the window.
There's nobody around, and I'm ready across from Madison Square Gardens.
Had we two or three people on the street. I
walked around the other day there was nobody there. And
it's good to get down and take a walk. It

(01:17:35):
is that I do. I walk around. I go to
the drug store to pick up my prescriptions and come back.
But it's it's, uh, it's I'm enjoying it, but I
mean it's I'm just waiting for the see it over.
I hope he's right, he says, the President said, by easter. Well,
you know, but I don't know. Look, we all want that,
but you know, let's let's let the experts tell us

(01:17:56):
what to do. Hey, what was your question for Uncle
Johnny Danielle? I wanted to know when he stocked up?
Did he stock up on more food or alcohol. I
did both. Yea. When I go to Costco with the
right next door is the liquor store, everything all at one.
Oh you get a little of everything. Okay, gotcha? Now

(01:18:18):
you know your your nephew Alex is here, Uncle Johnny.
He wants to say good morning to you. Good morning,
Uncle Johnny, Good morning Alex. Who are you? So I
got to teach you how to use FaceTime because after
we FaceTime quit you yesterday, you forgot to hang up
and you were walking around the house nude. Yeah, we
saw your wiener. Well, see what happens is you called

(01:18:41):
me on FaceTime a few days ago. I don't know
if it was from from where, from where you from
working or whatever, but you called me and I didn't
know how to shut it off. So when I just
looked for your phone number and I went, oh, there
it is, and I pressed it and it was FaceTime.
I didn't realize that. So you answered then I went,
oh my god, what is that? Well we thought you

(01:19:03):
did that on purpose, I know, but you you gotta
learn how to hang it up now. So Alice is
going to practice with you later because you were on
and all we heard you, all we heard you saying
was I mean, hey, how do you joining it off?
You started hitting it and we're screaming it. You're going
to Uncle Johnny. Uncle Johnny, we can see your penis.

(01:19:26):
I know I'm not pretty on FaceTime. This is I
don't have a face for FaceTime have a penis for
a FaceTime either. I had my my teeny and I
was smoking a joint and I said, well, I gotta
you know, this will be it will be relaxing. Allright,

(01:19:47):
We're gonna FaceTime you later. And by the way, Uncle
Johnny will have some knock knock jokes this Friday, and
so we're in but I knock knock jokes from home. Okay,
that'll be great. So you and Alex can FaceTime later
and you can get some knock knock jokes going, okay, okay, great,
all right, all right, guys, listen you all stay safe

(01:20:11):
and enjoy and you sound like you're doing a fabulous
job there, and stay safe and cook a lot. We're
cooking a lot. We love you, Johnny. You have a
beautiful day. We'll call you later. Okay, all right, I
love you guys. Thank you seriously. Alex. How long I
mean it was like three minutes. It was like three minutes.

(01:20:33):
He see him moving the phone around and then you
see his penis and I'm like, oh my g it
was it was his knee and his penis. Yeah. At
this point anyway, so I have to I have to
my hero today. I have to I have to point

(01:20:54):
out a hero and that's Alex. Yesterday we received six
chairs that had to be put together. He had them
put together in like fifteen minutes. It's amazing. With a drill,
he's a power drill. Where do we get a power drill?
It's my secret stash. Yet he has a secret stash here.
So anyway, our goal here at my new Bumper Stager

(01:21:16):
is stay home America, keep Uncle Johnny alive. So next
time you want to go out and start hanging out
with people, keep in mind Uncle Johnny's gonna suffer coming
up the cheapest bastard in the world Scotty b. And
also we have a new game called toilet paper or
No toilet Paper. That's all the way the three things
you need to know from Gandhi Right now, Gandhi, what's

(01:21:36):
going on? All right? So Prince Charles has tested positive
for COVID nineteen Buckingham Palace made the announcement, which makes
him the first member of the royal family to come
down with the virus. He's reportedly displaying mild symptoms and
self isolating at his castle in Scotland. All NFL training
facilities are going to close tonight by six pm, with
just a couple exceptions. The shutdown is going to last

(01:21:59):
until April eighth, when the league will then determine with
the help of medical and health experts, if it's safe
to reopen. They're going to clean, sanitize, do all of
that stuff. Roger Goodell says that this ensures that all
teams operate on a level playing field and that nobody
has an advantage over somebody else if one facility closed
and another did not. And finally, if you think you're
being funny by coughing at people, especially when you're angry

(01:22:22):
at them or having a disagreement, think again. I don't
know if you guys saw the story. Yeah, a man
for New Jersey is being charged after he coughed at
a supermarket employee and then told them he had the coronavirus.
Apparently he got upset when j was told he was Yeah,
he was told he was standing too close to an
open food display, and then he got irate at this

(01:22:43):
employee started coughing on purpose, claimed he was infected. So
now he's going to have to face a judge to
answer to charges of terroristic threats, harassment, and obstruction. It's
not funny. Don't joke around like that. You will get
in trouble. No, no, he needs to go to jail.
People like that. That's not good. He's right, Daniel is stoupid.
It is stupid, stupid, it's stupid. Stop all right, give

(01:23:09):
me some music here, scary. It's now speaking of stoping,
it's now time to play toilet Paper or not toilet Paper. Alright,
I'm not even gonna tell you how to play the game.
I'll just I'll hitch you up with it when you
call into play. What do we have to give away there? Straight, Nate,
we have anything. Yeah, we have a fabulous prize and

(01:23:29):
scary we'll have it next. In other words, they have
no freaking clue we're given away. He's got he's got
to print it out. But the thing is, we gotta
go to Scott. Scott, he's got to pass it to
us through the under the door it's like we're separating,
you know. So okay, alright, alright, so okay, pass it
under the door. All right, So toilet paper or not
toilet paper? That is coming up? Right? What straight name?

(01:23:50):
Can we take a break? Yes? Absolutely? Break? Okay if
he's or something, I don't know, what are you doing?
He doesn't look like when he sounds like a keebler elf?
All right, all right, we'll take it. We'll be back
with toilet paper or not toilet paper right after the
More from the Mercedes AMG Interview Lounge. Katie Perry's on

(01:24:11):
the phone. So you are obviously shooting American idol while
you were pregnant. Did you have to hide it from people? Well?
The good thing is that I've always been hungry. Taught
to you by Mercedes AMG. Be prepared for whatever comes
your way in the all new GT four door coup
Because life is a race. Visit your local dealership for
a test drive today, Elvis Duran in the morning show

(01:24:34):
Nate here, and if you're tired of tossing and turning
at night, tries ze Quilt Pure Ze's liquid melatonin same
taste as peers E's gummies, but in liquid form. So
give yourself arrest and buy it Zequilt, Perez's Liquid Melatonin,
fininged retailers everywhere. Elvis Duran in the Morning Show. All right,
so you know what, one of the superstars of this

(01:24:56):
entire coronavirus episode is toilet paper. It's been a topic
of everyone's conversation since the very beginning. People hoarded it
for all the wrong reasons. Now you can't find it.
Now it's slowly rolling back into the grocery stores and
we're getting back to our regular scheduled toilet paper in
some places. If you don't have it, I'm sorry, You'll

(01:25:16):
get it soon. So I was looking down an aisle
of toilet paper on a way back, way back site,
you know, back in the days when the toilet paper
aisle was filled. Yeah. Do you know how different brands
of toilet paper there are? I mean, there's a billion
different brands. And I used to just go from my sharman,

(01:25:36):
you know what I'm saying. But yeah, anyway, so let's
play a game. Ridy hit the music scary. It's called
toilet paper or not toilet paper. Get three out of
five correct and straighten. It has an incredible, incredible prize
for you. You have to guess whether actually he printed

(01:26:01):
it out. Daniel, Well, yeah, what what non crappy prize
will they wins? Scary? I'm it's Eminem's Minis Chocolate candies.
Work to you by them. It's a five hundred dollars
cash gift car Eminem's Chocolate candies. They're obviously just a
little smaller and it's perfect for the Easter bunny to
leave in your Easter basket. Find Eminem's Minis Chocolate candies

(01:26:25):
in a store near you. None unless Scary he's been
to the store because he's eaten ten tubes of them today,
so they Thank goodness. We're giving away money and not
the actual candy because that would make it out of
the studio scary. Rather have the candy, He'd rather have
the Eminem Minis than the money. Let's get to contestant
number one and uh that's married on line six. Hi, Marry,

(01:26:50):
good morning, Good morning. We're doing very well, and we
thank you for listening during these troubled times. Thank you,
Thank you for so working. You guys are the highlight
in my morning because I'm still driving into work every day.
Oh wow, what do you do? Mary? What do you
do you always obviously you're essential. Yeah, I work with seniors.
I work for Brookdale. We care for seniors. So thank

(01:27:12):
you so much for still being on the air. You
you highlight my morning every day. Well, and thank you
for what you're doing with the seniors. Now here we go.
You have to get three out of five correct. Okay,
and uh, I'm gonna give you the brand of a
toilet paper. You tell me if it's a real brand
or it's a it's not a brand? Ready, Okay, I'll

(01:27:32):
try Berkeley Jensen Ultrasoft Premium. M uh real, Yeah it
is real, that's right, by Johnson. Is the BJ's brand. Hello?
Oh of course, isn't this a fun fun um contest?

(01:27:54):
All right? Toilet paper brand or not? A shell t
U s h E l l D tush tush ll
not real? Not real? That's right. I think I went
to high school with her though. Yeah, okay, here's another brand,

(01:28:17):
a toilet paper or not. I hope you get this right.
Bum boosa bumb boosa bumboa Uh not real? Oh no,
that is that's a real toilet paper. Get out right, Okay,
let's try another one. Continelle Ultra Squish not not real,

(01:28:44):
not real, that's correct. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. No, no, unfortunately,
you're just getting five hundred dollars. You can go buy
your congratulations. Thank you so much. Oh my god, that's
so awesome. Thank you. Now do you want to do?

(01:29:04):
Do you want to double your money with a bonus round?
Oh god, you could lose it all. Oh oh no,
I think I'm happy. I can keep it and still
play the bone. Just keep your five hundred dollars. I
wouldn't go for the Yeah, yeah, no, no, I'm happy
with what I got. That much of a gambler. Okay,

(01:29:26):
good because the bonus question was a toilet paper or
not Dingleberry scented ultrasoft. Oh my goodness, that sounds amazing
and discussing you kept your money anyway, thank you for
listening to us. Have a great day, and uh, I
appreciate you call. Thanks look at work? Oh thank you.

(01:29:49):
Hold on one second and there you go. We're out
of money, so we can't go to another just so
I can use this what scary you just tell Eminem's
Mini's chocolate candies. We have another five hundred dollars cash
gift card to get. Oh stop it all right, hit
the music. Let's play another round of toilet Paper or
Not toilet Paper. We're gonna look back on these days

(01:30:13):
and laugh. Let's go talk to Felicia can test at
number two. There's our fake laughter. Hi and Felicia, how
are you doing? Good morning? I am great. How are
you well? We're doing well. We're grown men and women
on the radio playing a game called toilet Paper or
Not toilet Paper? So thanks to Eminem's minis. Daniell talk

(01:30:36):
about Eminem's minis and how great they are for Easter.
They are delicious and they're perfect for your kiddies easter
baskets or maybe the Easter bunny even wants to hie
them and the kitties can find them. You never know.
Back to me, all right here, and what are you
doing today, Felicia? I actually paper? You you do? What's

(01:30:57):
to toilet paper? Deliver new papers? Oh newspaper? All right? Excellent?
Well you can you keep doing that and stay safe,
stay stay separate from people, all right? Tell me if
this is a real toilet paper or not, or here
we go, Caboo tree free bamboo toilet paper. It's Caboo
tree free bamboo toilet paper. Yes or no. I've never

(01:31:22):
heard of it, but I'll just say yes, yes it is.
You can your ass with a caboo tree free bamboo
toilet papers. All right, you need to get three out
of five? Correct? I just you know, bamboo grows quickly.
I hope it doesn't grow while it's in your butt. Now.
Next one, seventh generation one recycled bath tissue. Is that

(01:31:44):
real or not? It's seventh generation one hundred percent recycled
bath tissue. But I'm gonna still say yes, that's correct.
I think that's Gandhi's favorite. I have it. It's great.
It's brown, all right, it's brown. It is, it's already brown.

(01:32:05):
It's pleased when you're done, I don't know. It's confusing.
Get one more, Felicia, and you've won the big thing there. Okay,
here's the next toilet paper or not toilet paper bushes
for tushes. No tree bamboo toilet paper bushes for tushes.

(01:32:27):
I'm gonna say no, that's correct, And you get a graduate.
What do you got? A five? Will get all the
cash gift card from Eminem's Minis Chocolate candies, and you
go again. Don't forget to pick them up for Easter
just in time. Eminem's chocolate candies, just smaller and have

(01:32:50):
fun with your five hundred dollars. Hey, Felicia, is it
true that your husband works for the water department? He does.
I just want to let you guys know that I'm
wearing my Elvis anty shirt today and I think that
brought me good. Oh good. Oh yeah. You know what,
Be careful walking down the street because people will strip
that run off of you. It's a collector's item. One second.

(01:33:13):
Thank you for listening, and tell your husband thank you.
Thank you so much for working down to the public
works and reminding people do not flush things down the
toilet unless it's supposed to go down the toilet. Thank you.
I'll let's get into sound with Garrett, and thank you
to Eminem's minis. Hold on one second, Flation, let's put
that collar and holds Garrett. Oh, well, I hear it.
Are you the kid talking? Who's the kid? Kids? Well?

(01:33:35):
He has kids? Are you breastfeeding right now on the radio? No,
it's well, yeah, it's breakfast time, so I could be,
but no, it's it's it's paw Patrol waffle Day. Here
on my kitchen. You're making paw Patrol waffles. What are those?
Those are those are Eggos? I'm not making those. I
don't have that kind of talent. That's a that's courtesy
of Eggo. It's not a sponsor. Oh we love it,

(01:33:58):
all right, what's wrong? Gondi? Gandhi's making weird facial contortions.
What's going on? Well, I'm actually very jealous that he's
having a pop Patrol Waffle day because that sounds amazing.
It does sound good. I want some of that. All right,
let's get into sound with Garrett. Garrett, what do you
have going on? All right? Joe Buck, we know him
from doing play by play for the World Series and
the NFL on Fox. Well, he's bored as he sits

(01:34:20):
at home, also in isolation, just like many of us.
So he's asking people to send him their home videos.
So he's doing play by play like this guy doing
barbecue hot wings in his backyard. Look at this. They
were already hot coming out. They're back on the grill,
the sauces inside the bowl, reaching back in, wanting more.
They keep coming out of that bowl. How many can

(01:34:40):
you give us? Andrew? Unbelievable, just absolutely fired up, red hot.
Only question is there anybody else there to eat them
with you share and he is bored. He is bored. Yeah,
you should see him do the marble race. All right,

(01:35:00):
Miley Cyrus, she has our Instagram show, and with a
talk show, you need a theme song, so she sang
her own theme song. If you want to be bright minded,
there's just one place to go when you stuck it off.
And the time is ticking. So my Day to Friday
Live with Miley on my Instagram show. Today, we're here

(01:35:28):
today Monday. Well, Gandhi's not here. We're talking to Miley Froggy.
This is Miley and we wanted to thank her for
that incredible theme song. Hey you guys, thank you for
pimpa my new Instagram. Y'all, if you're born, you can
queue in. Maybe I'll hear you might with Jina. All right,
thank you, all right, let's go over to the tonight show.

(01:35:53):
Last night, so Jimmy Fallon was describing what it's like
being home with his family, and he did it in
uh doing an impersonation of Adam Sandler. I think two
weeks of isolation starting to take its toll. I guess
I can explain it best through Adam Sandler. On day one,
I felt like, okay, kids, let's get to some arts
and crafts. That put the macaroni and the pipe cleaner
and that's nice. And by today it was like stopting

(01:36:15):
your sister shitter. Oh all right, all right, this is awesome.
So two doctors from the Mayo Clinic sat down, one
played the piano, one saying imagine and listen to their voices.
It's it will give you goose bumps. Imagine living fun,

(01:36:49):
you might say, but the only one. Wow. By the way, Danielle,
you had to go to the hospital, would you go
to the Mayo Clinic? No, I would not. Check. You

(01:37:09):
can see that video on Katie Kirk's Instagram too, So, um,
all right, now, Tom Hanks, you remember in Castaway he
had that yell. He has that famous yell and it
sounds like this, all right, So a lot of people
being at home figured like, let me go on YouTube

(01:37:30):
because I think I've heard this before. So this guy
sound a sea lion who sounds like Tom Hanks yelling
and Castaway, Oh my god, that's just se lion screaming
like Tom Hanks. I mean, can we get any more

(01:37:50):
bored on the internet? Right now? Um? All right now.
We played a clip just the other day of Chris
Cuomo from CNN interviewing his brother, the Governor of New York,
Andrew Cuomo, and they argued about who Mom loves more,
Chris or Andrew. So yesterday both brothers were on CNN
again doing an interview and they were talking about Mom.
Yet again, it's the reality better than any other right now,

(01:38:13):
at least in New York. Is the Governor of New York,
Andrew Cuomo. Of course, my brother, thank you for coming
back to the show. Mom told me I had to.
It was probably the delay. And then we got and

(01:38:34):
Elvis if you want to play it later. We got
a bunch of sound from the Governor of New York,
Andrew Cuomo, thanking first responders and talking about getting through
these tough times. Oh, he just had some great stuff,
great stuff to talk about. We'll get into that later.
But you're a good dad and a good American. So Paul,
some more, some more eggos in the toaster, and we'll
talk to you later. Garrett, Thank you so much. Well morning, Tom,

(01:38:55):
oh my neighbors outside, Hey, yeah, no, I'm already Tom,
all right, thank you, Garrett, get into the three things
you need to know, Gandhi, what's going on? Lots of stuff.
President Trump says he would love to see the US
fully open again by Easter. He's saying that social distancing
guidelines are being assessed and saying that the country could
actually be destroyed if we close it down. Also, last

(01:39:16):
night and early this morning, actually the two trillion dollar
relief package was approved. That money is intended for businesses,
laid off workers, and families who are affected by the coronavirus.
You get an idea, got an idea? Since we should
not be out doing everything we can to solve the
country's problems, we need to be separate from separate from

(01:39:37):
each other. How can we try to help people out
by not connecting with other people physically? Think about what
you can do if you can, if you're able, if
you're working, and you have income coming in, what can
you do to keep the economy rolling? Who can you
help out? What can you buy that you need that's essential.
It's not going to put someone in danger getting it

(01:39:58):
to you. Just think it through, because look, you know
the truth is getting this all together in a couple
of weeks, that's not going to happen. But you know, Look,
if you can help someone somehow, think it through, be
creative and make it happen back to you, Ghandi. What
else is going on? Well, we've been appreciating all types
of different essential employees all morning. And another group of

(01:40:19):
people who we should appreciate TSA workers. Thirty two TSA
workers at fifteen different airports across the country have tested
positive for the coronavirus, and we know that they're handling
stuff from all over the place all the time. The
East Coast is the hardest hit, with five confirmed cases
among JFK International, Newark, Liberty International, and LaGuardia. And finally,

(01:40:39):
talking about keeping things going, but keeping your social distance,
looking for love not necessarily a thing of the past.
A guy in New York was apparently outside looking at
what's going on, saw a girl dancing on a rooftop
and he owned a drone, so he taped his number
to the drone and sent it flying over. The two
of them have been texting back and forth ever since,
and they plan on getting together. So if you have

(01:41:00):
a drone, love could still be in the air. None, Yeah, oh, gandhi,
thank you there's your three your three things. The cheap bastard.
Scottie b is still on holding, ready to come in
and tell us how to save money to Gercy store. Yeah,
so we may have another guest that I haven't even
put on the schedule today because we don't know if
he's going to be here or not. So I hang out.

(01:41:21):
We got more on the way. Elvis Duran in the
Morning show. Oh uh, what do you want to talk about?
Let's talking us to talk about. Oh, Norton, Okay, this
is very important. There are a lot of people. There
are a lot of people out there who were bored,
and they're shifty and can't be trusted, and they're at
home trying to figure out a way to steal your stuff, right, Gandhi, Yes,

(01:41:45):
yesterday I got an alert saying that my Twitter had
been attempted to be hacked into, and then I posted
it and so many other people told me they were
dealing with the same thing on all of their apps,
like Instagram, Uber, all of it. It's true now Norton
at three sixty LifeLock, we have all joined in and
I'm getting I'm getting alerts almost every single day because

(01:42:06):
of well me, it's trying to remind me that I'm
in my stuff doing things. The thing is there are
people out there who are shifty and they can't be trusted.
They can steal your stuff, and they can go open
up loans, they can steal things from you. They the
list goes on and on. And another thing about LifeLock
Norton three sixty with LifeLock, LifeLock, they have people on

(01:42:27):
board who can actually help you fix it, and we
acknowledge there's no way for anyone to keep an eye
on everyone who's trying to break in and steal your
stuff online. But Norton three sixty LifeLock, we love you.
If you go to LifeLock, go to LifeLock dot com,
use the promo code Elvis. You can get up to
twenty five percent off your first year. It's so worth it.

(01:42:48):
It's that peace of mind you need when you need
to be focusing on other things like staying healthy and
keeping your friends healthy and happy. Livelock dot com use
the promo code Elvis. Text us Hello, colorist needs always
strand in the morning show. Wow, so much's going on.

(01:43:09):
I don't know where to start. We've got cheap bastard,
Scotty b our Lovely Sister Danielle with her Danielle report. Yes, yeah,
I don't know. We're gonna hold off on that, uh, Danielle,
I think we're having a little audio issues. But we're
gonna get back to you in a second. Okay, just
hang on, don't leave me. Enjoy your enjoy your space,
Enjoy your time, meditator, catch a film. Uh, let's get

(01:43:32):
into the cheap Bastard. Scotty B. He's got a special report,
the cheap bastard Bastard. Here he is, Scotty B. So
you know, no one knows the grocery store better than
Scotty B. We all agree, right, Scotty B's I mean
to the point where it's it's frightening how much he knows.

(01:43:53):
But one of the things he knows about grocery shopping
is how to save money. The cheapest guy in the world.
But there's nothing wrong with that. In these times of learning,
of us learning how to relive our lives, we need
to save some money. So what do you have for us? Well,
you know, the stores are a little bit crazy nowadays,
but they are a necessity for most of us, so
we have to go there, so you might as well
save some money. So well, I mean the first thing.

(01:44:16):
The key to savings is a store loyalty card. Most
people have them, but if you don't, you have to
get it because that little store loyalty card is what
activates the savings. So all the sale prices, you don't
get them unless you scan that little card. Oh absolutely,
I'm are you guys all members? Yes? Oh yeah, yes,
definitely yeah so. And another great thing is most supermarkets
now have their own app on your smartphone, so download

(01:44:38):
their app and that way you can get e coupons
sent right to the card, so you can save additionally
on the sale items. And something I taught Nate yesterday
which he was very excited, you can print your own
coupons online. A lot of people don't know that. There
are sites like coupons dot com and smartsource dot com
where you can print coupons that are usually syncd up
to what's on sale at the supermarkets that week, so

(01:44:59):
you can save even more. And Nate went over because
a lot of them, a lot of manufacturer sites. If
you say you need Adville, go to adville dot com
and you can print a coupon for Adville. So before
you go out to the supermarket, check the site. Of
whatever you're buying, Like Nate likes this Icelandic yogurt or whatever.
It's fantastic, Elvis, you gotta try. And I went to
the website. Well have you been to the Icelandic yogurt website?

(01:45:20):
You have coupons waiting for you. I just wait. Yesterday,
I'm saving two dollars when I buy four. It's incredible.
I gotta tell you, what sort of medication can we
give Nate that will calm him down? Can we get
a coupon for that? A lot of coffee this morning? Wait?
Can I just give you a great Can I give
you a great example? So yesterday I went shopping at
Shop Right, and they have frosted many weeks. My favorite
the new filled mixed berry ones on sale for a

(01:45:42):
dollar ninety nine a box. I went to the Kellogg's website.
I printed a seventy cent coupon off this. My store doubles,
so I wound up getting this box for fifty nine cents.
It's usually about five bucks. So there's so many deals.
I love you the best. Yeah, dot Com even give
you money back, like did you pay negative amount for it?

(01:46:02):
Some stores do that, most don't. They'll just zero it
out so you don't pay anything. What was your question?
Frog Scotty's right. I went on advol dot com. It
says coupon's right to put the top right hand side.
You can print your own dollar off coupon right there
on the website. That's awesome. Oh my gosh, god, Yeah,
give me, give me some more, give me some more tips.
Let's let's let's get do rapid fire. Rapid fire. Okay, Well,
there are other there are some other great apps, um

(01:46:25):
like Ibota and Fetch Rewards, So when you come home
from the supermarket, you scan your receipt and they'll give
you cash back into an account that you can cash
out whenever you want. And there's other ones like check
Out fifty one and Saving Star. You link that to
your loyalty card and you'll also get points back that
you can redeem for gift cards and stuff like that.
And hey, yeah, give me one more than I have
a question for you. Okay, how about store brands. People

(01:46:47):
generally don't like to buy store brands because they're like,
I don't want to have the store brand in my house.
But you know what, no one's coming to your house anyway.
You know, the artwork on the store brand boxes isn't
as great as the original. It's true, it's very true.
But most of those items are just as good a
quality as the name brand. And no one is coming
over these days, so they're not going to see the
store brands sitting on your counter. So you're good there
you go. Hey, Scotty, Yeah, on your Facebook yesterday that

(01:47:10):
post about your two different types of toilet paper rolled
in your bathroom? Yes, what are you doing to your
poor family? What is this? Well? You know when you
when you just go pee, I mean sometimes people like
to dab, so just dabbing pe. We use the thin
one ply toilet paper, but if you need to, you know,
do the number two. We use the two ply toilet papers.
So I have two rolls next to each other, so

(01:47:31):
one is for one and the other ones for two.
Did you guys see that he posted? It is two
two stands with two different types of toilet paper and
a sign over them. And what does the sign say?
It's just his number one on the thin one, number
two on the two ply, so you can cush if
you can cush in your butt, But you just dab
the other thing with a cheap crap, um, I have

(01:47:53):
a camera in the bathroom. Hit the cheap, hit the cheap,
bastard music. You got it, bastard. There you have it, Danielle.

(01:48:19):
Let's see how you're sounding right now? Better? Okay? Well yeah,
well we'll try to get through this. But we're dying
to hear what you have to see, Danielle. What's going on?
All right? So, if you are a fan of the Office,
there's a new book, Alcohol of the Office, The Untold
Story of the Greatest Sitcom of the two thousands, and
it claims that Steve Correll didn't actually want to leave

(01:48:40):
the show after season seven. It says that several people
connected to the show said that he was asked about
his contract and he said that he thought season seven
would be his last. He said it in like an
off the cuff remark, but he actually didn't feel like
he was going to leave. But they never came to
him to convince him to stay or to renew his contract,

(01:49:01):
so he figured they didn't want him back, and so
he decided to move on. And that's all down but boit.
The book also says that James Gundelfini was supposed to
replace him initially, but at the last minute, he felt
it wasn't right for him. He got cold feet, and
they ended up casting James Spader. So if you are
a fan of the Office, you know all the deets

(01:49:23):
on that. So there you go. You're kind terrible when
he left, I know, we know. That's why it only
lansted for two more seasons and then it pooped the
band and that was it. Anyway. Producers from The Simpsons
have reached has reached out to Megan Markle and Prince
Habby Harry. They want them to guest star on The Simpsons.
We will see if that's going to happen. Oprah's longtime
partner Steadman is currently quarantined. Apparently he has been traveling

(01:49:46):
and he wasn't paying too much attention to social distancing,
and so she says, look, I had pneumonia last year.
I have a lot of stuff going on with bronchial things.
I was on some antibiotics. So he's staying in the
guest house right now. That's where he is, so he
to stay there. Netflix has decided to renew Love Is
Blind and The Circle for two more seasons, not just one.

(01:50:06):
So you'll be excited to know that and I'm sorry
to say Walking Dead fans season ten finale, you're gonna
have to wait. You're gonna get the fifteenth episode on
April fifth, and then you're gonna have to wait for
a special episode later in the year because they didn't
have a chance to film your season finale yet. Yeah. Sorry, okay, Danielle,
we love you. Thank you so much. I have to

(01:50:27):
go weigh myself. Well, take a break. We're back after this.
Oh my goodness, I can't believe I were talking to you. Guys. Well,
it's an honor to have you here. This is Elvis
Duran in the Morning Show. During tax season, your personal
info like your name and Social Security number, could be
shared more than usual. Get Norton three sixty with LifeLock

(01:50:48):
to help protect your devices and restore your identity. Save
up to twenty five percent off your first year at
Norton dot com. Slash Elvis. Okay, Elvis, I'm sorry my
wedding and I'm all in the Morning Show, We're about
to get into three more things you need to know
from Gandhi. Also, uh gosh, you know New New York's governor,

(01:51:11):
Governor Cuomo. Every day he does his daily press conference
and he gives all the information the pertinent, pertinent, pertinent.
What's the word pertinent? Pertinent, pertinent? What is it weird?
How the brain does misfires sometimes? Yeah, Governor Cuomo starts
out by giving the pertinent information and all the details

(01:51:33):
that we didn't need to know to carry on and
move forward with everything going on with coronavirus. And then
he gives personal moments of personal opinions and things, and
he really is turning into a national figure and a
guy people love watching and listening to. So yesterday he
was talking about all sorts of things, including first responders
and how we're going to get through all this stuff,

(01:51:54):
and why he loves New York and how love is
going to win out here. I want to give you
two cuts that give me. The first cut about the
first responder scary. You want to talk about extraordinary individuals, extraordinary,
And it's the nurses and the doctors and the healthcare workers.
It's the police officers who show up every day and

(01:52:17):
go out there and walk into a situation that they
don't even know what they're walking into. And it's the firefighters,
and it's the transportation workers, and it's the people who
are running the grocery stores and the pharmacies and providing
all those essential services. Most of us are in our home,
hunker down, worried. They're worried, and they're going out there

(01:52:42):
every day despite their fear, despite their fear, overcoming their fear,
and not for their family. They're doing it for your family.
When you see them on the street, when you see
them in a hospital, please just say thank you. Wow. Wow,

(01:53:06):
couldn't say it better. Right, He's such a great leader.
We love him. And uh yeah, you can tell he's
from New York just by the way he speaks. He
sounds like like a male version of Danielle. And I'm
proud of that, and you should be. And here we
are in New York. You know what I gotta say.
No matter where you're listening, as you know, New York

(01:53:26):
is in the news big time with this coronavirus that's
going on. I mean, we have it big time in
our city. As a matter of fact, the US government
asked yesterday if you traveled from New York to anywhere
else in the world, or anywhere else in this country,
you need to quarantine for fourteen days because you most
likely have it, suggesting that we all have it, so

(01:53:47):
all right, I think we pretty much knew that before
we had that announced announcement yesterday. And even if you
may not have it, you need to be living your
life as if you do have it. But anyway, no
one loves New York more than our or, Governor Cuomo.
He has a few more things to say here. They
are We're going to make it because I love New
York and I love New York because New York loves you.

(01:54:13):
New York loves all of you, black and white and
brown and Asian and short and tall and gay and straight.
New York loves everyone. That's why I love New York.
It always has, it always will. And at the end
of the day, my friends, even if it is a

(01:54:35):
long day, and this is a long day, love wins.
And there you have it. Thank you, Governor. You know,
we come in here every day and we laugh and
we carry on and we have fun because we have to.

(01:54:55):
We don't have a choice. Because I know that Gandhi
and Danielle and straight Aid and Froggy and Scary and
and Garrett and Scotty b and and Garrett and did
I say Garrett Garrett three times? Garrett and all of us.
You know, we come in here every day because if
we didn't have this to do every day, I think
we I know us, I think we'd be lost, Diamond,

(01:55:17):
Brody and and and Sam and we would be lost
without this job. Do you agree, am I? Am I right? Yeah,
of course you are. Just so thank you for allowing
us to do this every day because of you. We
love you. Thank you for being there. Otherwise, Uh, A
life with no purpose just is no life whatsoever. So

(01:55:39):
figure out today what your purpose is and love it,
stick to it, be the best at it. Go in
there and screw up like we do, and and and
celebrate your screw ups, and celebrate the good and the bad.
Celebrate the fact that you're living. You've got downs, You've
got up, celebrate the ups, learn from the downs. And
there you have it. And thank you again, Governor Coomo.
We gotta take a break. Your phone tap coming up

(01:56:01):
right after this. What's happened? Demi van? Okay? This is
Alicia Keys. It's Camila Cabayo with Elvis Duran in the
morning showing change sponsored by State Farm. Talk to an
agent today about combining your home and auto insurance. At
one eight hundred State Farm or by visiting State Farm
dot com, Elvis, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone tap.

(01:56:23):
Let's see what the scary's phone tap is all about today.
So Kira's in high school and she gets in trouble
there all the time. Now add to that the fact
that her mom is overprotective of her when she can be.
In fact, her mom is so strict that Kira just
got her first cell phone recently. And so um, I
figured I'd pretend to be Kira's boyfriend calling her cell phone. Okay,

(01:56:43):
her mom is not very happy. All right, here we go. Hello, Hey, Kira,
who's this? It's little Wayne? How are you jo? It's
way from the school yard. How are you doing? Oh? Hey,
how are you doing? But did you hear what your hell?

(01:57:05):
I say? Who are talking to on the phone? Racey? No?
Hold on? You want to hang out? When do you
want to hang out? Hold on? Give me the phone?
Tell me when your parents are at home? Excuse me?
Who's that? This is her mother? My name's Wayne? How
are you doing? My excuse you? Let me explain something
to you. Wayne. I don't know where are you calling

(01:57:25):
from or who you are? But Kara's not supposed to
be on the phone talking to nobody, which means you.
Why I don't get it. Why can't you talk to
people on the phone. Well, excuse me, sounds rough on
my phone in the first of all. Right now, I
don't know who you are, but you sound like a
slow life and I don't want you on the phone
with my child. Why did she have a cell phone? Then,

(01:57:46):
it's none of your damn business why she got her
cell phone. It's emergencies, that's why she got her cell phone.
And have nothing to do with you, Kara. Let me
tell you, hold on you right now, me and you.
I'm about to kick your ass. Listen to me. You're
gonna calm right now because I've had it up hill
with your ass. Young man. You are not to call
this phone young money. No mo not, young man. Excuse

(01:58:10):
the young money. But let me tell you right now.
You got the wrong I could call you, weazy, you
out of you. I'm a group. Let me explain something
to you. You where's your parents? That's what you need.
You need to put your mama on the phone right now.
Because I don't know about you. I've never heard you before,
never seen you. Before. Put your mother on the phone,

(01:58:31):
because you're not gonna be calling him to my house
with this child right thinking your daughter is bionic? What
are you talking about. I don't think she's beautiful. I
think she's beyond it. Hello, Hey, it's Wayne again. How's
your mom? What? You know? What? You crazy? You're crazy?

(01:58:52):
Not crazy, I'm not crazy. You're the one that's gonna
wind up on YouTube. That's what went through this before.
When that guy calls here talking about I hit it
and I put it in all that. This is what
I'm gonna have to do with you. Stop the girl.
I ain't got no tough for you no more. He
speaker phone. Yes, tell your mom that I'm a good
guy and I shared my forty with you. Bring him
in my face. I can crack a forty over his

(01:59:13):
damn head. Tell your mind that I'm fighting for this
girl on the battle. Feel the love. Get off. I
don't care. I'm going to see her tonight. Don't look
like baby cupids. You ain't going nowhere. You stay it
right up in this damn you can't. You can't make
me do nothing. I'm going to my father house and
let jay Z go and pay for yourself. Go ahead,
that's what you do, because why are you calling this?

(01:59:38):
Are you still serious? Are just serious? Stop calling me?
Stop calling him calling me? This is my phone. I
could make it. What is this? I just want to
get behind it. You want to get behind right? I
just you're doing I'm a No, let me explain something
to you. No, I'm gonna hurt mouth, Cara. That's it.

(02:00:02):
I don't have confidence. I work hard in my life, Carol.
I'm not calling me shone you little road in, and
I will have the police at your house. Okay, like
a cop. Cop stand it and stare at me like that.
This is your boots on this phone. I'm done with this.

(02:00:23):
You're crazy. Oh I'm crazy. Oh I'm crazy. You're about
to see crazy, bitch. This guy's a clown. Okay, yeah,
I want to know what the assignment is. Excuse me? Okay,
you will not be dragging a sex class together as
colin for the homework. First of all, I have my

(02:00:43):
daughter schedule. My daughter is not taking any sex educational classes.
Wait a minute, is this the case that got arrested
for bringing the boones in a cister to school and
selling it? No? Actually, I'm an inspiring rap artist. Oh
you were inspiring rap artist. You're aspired rat. I like
to wrap my damn fister, your damn faith. You need
to go and get I got Chipila and I'm a

(02:01:04):
part of Alcoholics Anonymous. Are you still serlious? Selious? Bob?
Hello Bob, This is Scary Jones. Elvis Durand in the
Morning Show. Hello, You're got phone tapped? Get your ass

(02:01:26):
over here. Think according little Wayne lyrics, we're giving away.
This phone tap was prerecorded permission granted by all participans.
Elvis Duran phone tad were Elvis Durand in the Morning Show.

(02:01:48):
How are you doing? This is Wendy Williams. What's up? Y'all?
On Beyonce? What's going on? This is Drake and you're
listening to Elvis Duran, Elvis Durand and the Morning Show.
During tax season, your personal info like you're name and
social Security number could be shared more than usual. Get
Norton three sixty with lifelow to help protect your devices
and restore your identity. Save up to twenty five percent

(02:02:09):
off your first year at Norton dot com. Slash Elvis