The Day We Started Social Distancing Even More

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Now suggestion that people are not gather in groups larger
than ten and avoid gathering in groups and more than
ten people, avoid discretionary travel, and avoid eating and drinking
at bars, restaurants, and public food courts. If you're sick,
please stay home. If someone in your household is diagnosed

(00:23):
with this virus, the entire household should quarantine in the
house to prevent spread of the virus to other virus
to others. Again, Shelter, Oh yeah, I'll go what's happening.
I just want to thank you guys for showing up

(00:45):
to work and being live and entertaining us and lapping
we all need it right now. Wow, you find this entertaining?
I think that's interesting. Elvis Duran in the Morning Show. Well,
I'm assuming that you can hear us right now. We
are live and we are all for the nation, coming
to you from our houses, our bedrooms, our kitchens, our closets.

(01:06):
It's pretty amazing. Uh. And if I start to sound
like Darth Vader, let me know and I'll reset today.
You watched on social media last night, but I was saying,
we don't know if this is gonna work today, but
so far, thanks to the very diligent work of many
people in the background. We are all here, Danielle lie
from her basement. Can you hear us, Danielle? Good morning? Yeah,

(01:30):
I hear Gandhi, Gandhi. Where are you right now? I
am sitting on a step stool in my living room.
Oh good, because cords all reached so far? Okay, okay,
So Froggy, where are you broadcasting from? I am sitting
in my guest bedroom, where Danielle usually stays when she's um. Okay,
all right. I'm in my kitchen on a farm in

(01:50):
the middle of nowhere. So every once in a while
you're gonna hear Darth Vader. But Scary, where are you
right now? I am in the Light Radio the LIGHTFM
radio station studios here at Master Control along with Yes,
we don't have to play our music, do we No?
But I've been listening to it all morning. Sorry. So
Straight and eight is in there with you now, are you? Yes?
Six feet away from Scary? All right? All right, So

(02:12):
Scottie B is on the other side of our building.
We'll tell you the story about what happened last night.
Everyone was up late last night putting the show together
because we are kicked out of our studios. That's why
we are nowhere near our studios. What an interesting day. Hi,
good morning guys. I couldn't wait to talk to you guys.
Good by, good morning. So Danielle, how are you doing?
What's on your mind? Um? So, last night I was

(02:34):
walking around the house. Right. First of all, I set
up my makeshift studio. I was all excited. I was
calling people that I was walking around my house looking
for my phone. But where the hell did I put
my phone? I can't find my phone. I can't find
my phone. It was in my hand. Big until your time,
I'm gonna have a lot of those moments. That's such
an idiot, Gandhi, what about you? How are you feeling

(02:55):
so far? I mean we've we've been on there for
two minutes. I mean, hello, I'm able to hang in
for these two minutes so far. My biggest concern is
that you guys don't see the parts of my apartment
that are messy. So I've angled this camera in such
a way that you only see the wall and maybe
one or two of my trees. Yeah, it looks good.

(03:15):
And by the way, there's a competition on for Darth
Vader because Gandhi's machine is going Darth Vader too, so
it is we're both live from the death. Start, Froggy,
what are you thinking? How are you thinking we're gonna
get this show done today? I think we'll be just fine.
Yesterday afternoon I did sit down and totally sa I'm like, listen,
and I know the same thing happened in Danielle. I said,

(03:36):
we need to have a talk Amazon. We don't have
to order something every single day. We need to slow
down the spending. When you're just and it got nowhere,
nobody's listening. It's just whatever you need, just buy it
on Amazon. I said, I'm not going anywhere. I'm buying
every like there's boxes for everything coming now. I mean,
it's even worse than before. And it's not my fault.
This time is not my fault. Yeah, stop making lists

(03:59):
of things you're gonna buy today? All right? So scary
back in our building? Is it creepy that being there today?
It is? It's a little bizarre. Um, I'm okay to
be here, and so is Nate. Everyone else around me
seems to be wearing gloves. I think I maybe getting
mine very soon. Put your gloves on. I think I'm
going to do. But I'm okay, No, I'm happy. I'm
in a different environment. But you know, everything else we

(04:21):
do is the same, right, all right? So far technically,
uh Froggy's coming in a little low We can't really
hear him all that. Well, uh, let's see what else
I hear our crazy music in the background. Let's see
if we can take a phone call. Line twenty four.
Is doctor Ryan on there? Let's see if doctor Ryan's working?
Doctor Ryan, can you hear us? Hello? Yes, I ken,
good morning. You have no idea what it's like to

(04:44):
have a phone that works. This isn't Elvis are coming
in loud and clear all the way in Chicago from
a reading room in a hospital in Chicago. You're coming
in loud and clear. Wow. So doctor Ryan, tell us
what you're doctoring today? What are you doing? So I'm
a radiologist at a hostile in Chicago, and so I'm

(05:05):
just getting or just finishing up a night shift, and
so I read all the imaging that comes through the
emergency department here. Okay, have you seen any interesting fractures?
And so so fractures tonight? No? U. In general, I
have a whole computer file of interesting imaging things that

(05:25):
have come through the emergency department may or may not
be appropriate for the show, but we have seen a
lot of what's going on. I mean, are you finding
things that people's rare ends already? That that happens much
more common than you would believe, I will say that. Um.
But now, so as you can imagine, there's been a

(05:46):
lot of chest x rays, a lot of chess euts,
people coming in with any type of call for shortness
of breath. Um. So, a lot of coronavirus rule out
of the past night. Wow. And I've heard of using right,
we like a chest X ray and a butt X ray.
I don't know, I know, because like you know, like
we keep saying it's like season of pollen and then

(06:08):
you know everyone's getting a cold and so you don't
know what the hell you have mm hmmmm. So yeah,
the one thing is um, this type of amonia, it's
it's a viral pneumonia and so it has some characteristic
features on a chest X ray or a chest et um.
But yeah, so luckily we didn't see too many last night. Um.

(06:31):
But yeah, anyone who's you know, sniffed anything or has
a little bit of allergies. They're all coming in, so
we're seeing a tone of volume now, all right, So okay,
so the message from doctor Ryan is stop sniffing things
and stop with your allergies. Stop it. Well, look, it's
great to have you here, and thank God for you,
doctor Ryan and everyone in the healthcare field. Thank you

(06:54):
so much for all you're doing for us, and thanks
for listening. You're our first caller of the day. Congratulations
and thank you so much. I would like to give
a shout out to all the physician, healthcare workers and
especially nurses that are on the front line actually seem
treating these patients and it's it's incredibly difficult, and I
think much more difficult than maybe some people can anticipate

(07:16):
actually interacting with these patients. So some of those workers
really under true heroes. So I wanted to give them
a shout out this morning as well. Well. Thank you
so much, doctor Ryan, and we're going to send you
an Elvis Duran Morning Show short. It seems so stupid
and trivial, but we're gonna send it to you anyway,
and we're gonna ruin it. We're gonna blow our noses
in it. It's gonna be fabulous. So it's on the way.
You ruin it. No coronavirus please, okay, no viruses included.

(07:40):
Let's hear it for doctor Ryan representing I love that
in a hospital in Chicago. Hold on one second, doctor Ryan. Oh,
we have no one to talk to doctor Ryan off
the aired. But I didn't think that's true. Well, thank
n okay, thank you. Engineer Jeff is now playing the
role of Diamond, the phone producer. All right, so we
just lost Gandhi. Her headphones are dead and every once

(08:03):
in a while, you're gonna hear this. Listen, do you
hear that? Yeah? That's that's if one of us has
to reset, you're gonna hear that noise. I'm just letting
you know what the game is gonna sound like today.
It's behind the scenes. Yeah, well yeah, we don't even
have behind the scenes because it's all of the scene.
The scene is like all we have. Jeezus. All right,

(08:27):
So as soon as we get Gandhi up, we'll be good. Okay.
I just I gotta be honest with you. I am
one centimeter away from just completely breaking down right now
and crying because I'm so happy that we're here today.
You have no idea. We almost didn't make it on
the air today, and I considered that. I considered all
of us just a complete failure if we didn't have

(08:48):
our microphones working today, because we are as much as
you love listening to us, and you need to have
us as part of your routine. If we don't have
the ability to talk to you, we lose our oxygen too.
So this is a two way thing, right, So I'm
just so happy we're on. How's how's Gandhi's headphone thing working?
Is she on yet? I seek working on it in

(09:11):
the background. Yeah. I thought we were going to do
the show from a cardboard box. We were like texting
each other back and forth, and I think right before
we went to bed something about a console and scary
running it from it. And I'm like, oh, it'll get done.
It'll be a box, but it'll get done. It's crazy.
It's a long story about what happened last night and
without getting into too many deals a details, well, we'll

(09:33):
talk to you about it in just a little bit. Uh,
it's six, it's nine after so we need at some
point to get to the three things. I don't think
we have those ready. If Gandhi's not ready to go,
which I'm scary. According to engineer Jeff, this could be
a good old fashioned jiggle the wire moment because he's
saying jiggle it. She needed to do that yesterday when
we did a test. She needed to jiggle the headphone
wire on the back of her If she could jiggle

(09:54):
it just a little bit, she made. Well, look, here's
the problem we have. We have an intersection of the
me too movement and the coronavirus movement. Can you is
it okay to tell women to jiggle it? I mean
something we should be doing. I don't know, are we
legally okay to ask? Well, Nate is actually indisposed right now.

(10:17):
He is on his knees on the phone. He's like,
why why are you crouching because it's it's no, it's
a smaller studio, so it's it's difficult to speak to
someone when you're in this room because the microphone's literally
free feet from you. So I'm like hiding in so
you're trying to muffle your Yeah, sorry, are you getting

(10:37):
doctor Jeff's address so we can send him a T shirt?
It's doctor Ryan and yes, that's what I'm doing. Okay,
all right, what a mess? All right? Well, if Gandhi
were here, he'd she'd give me three things you need
to know. But we will give that horoscopes, but I'd
have to do them by myself. Okay, well, Danielle is
now going to do a solo horoscope. Goodness, glory, all right,

(11:01):
here we go. It's Bruce Willis's birthday today. I'm sure
he's celebrating. Great Capricorn. Don't force yourself to socialize or
focus on tasks. The mind is most successful after it
finally rests. Your day is a seven Aquarius. Canceled plans
may cause you to feel somewhat down, but don't worry.
People will reschedule. Your day isn't eight pieces. Make a

(11:22):
deal with yourself. You can draw a nice bath, you
can relax as long as you get your work done.
Your day is a seven Aries. Call a person that
you've been missing. They're gonna be glad to hear from you. Plus,
a little affection never hurts, but make sure you stay
away from them. Your day is a nine Taurus. Having
trouble sleeping while write down your dreams. The messages that
concern you may be more positive than they appear. Your

(11:45):
date isn't eight gem and I Worrying may put a
damper on your confidence. Instead, make a list. Track your success.
You've got this. Your date is a nine cancer. Isolate yourself,
recenter your energy. There's no need to stress. Your loved
ones will understand, and your day is enough. All right?
Oh scared the crap out of me? Did I finish? Yes?

(12:12):
Keep going? Keep going Leo as Raoe Elvis Leo as royalty.
You're bound to feel protective. To release this tension. Distract
yourself with an exciting movie. Your day's at ten. Here
you go. Some interactions may bring valuable contact your way.
Uh so charm them, but make sure you saves yourself

(12:33):
some money and social distance yourself. Your day is a
ten Libra. A surprise may cause you to kick your
shoes back, cuddle with somebody, be creative in the way
that you want to be. Take advantage of this day.
Your day is a ten Scorpio. Too much worry could
manifest a bad day, so do anything you can to
ease your situation. It's gonna be okay. Your day is
an eight and Sagittarius. Sometimes silence is exactly what you

(12:57):
need to hear let negativity fade away by taking a
few minutes to beat yourself. Your days is seven and
those are your Thursday It's Thursday, right, yeah, yeah yeah,
those are your Thursday morning words, Danielle. My apologies. We're
having an old trouble. No one heard this? Can you
repeat that? No? No, no, not gonna do it? Oh boy?

(13:21):
All right, I think we have Gandhi back. Are you back? Gandhi?
I'm back? Thanks guys. Yeah, no, I don't know what
it was. The monitor just stopped sending to me, and
then I saw everything going on and it looked like
you were having so much fun and I couldn't partake. Okay, well,
welcome back. Let's see if we can get the three
things we need to know from Gandhi. Uh. Then we

(13:44):
only have three hours in forty five minutes to go,
All right, go ahead. Well, President Trump has signed a
multi billion dollar coronavirus aid package that's going to include
provisions for paid leave benefits, unemployment benefits, and free diagnostic
testing for the virus to to help the nation respond
to the coronavirus outbreak. And I'm sure we have all
been hearing about these stimulus checks, right, Well, it's not

(14:05):
official just yet, but if it all goes through, they
could be in the mail in less than a month.
The Trump administration is pitching the idea to Congress. Initial
reports are saying that the plan would provide two payments
of a thousand dollars each. Too many, not all Americans.
And how about some good news. Now, there's a little
bit of good news coming out of China and Wuhan,
where we know that the virus originate originated. They have

(14:28):
gone an entire day with no new cases. So they're
saying that this is very, very hopeful for all of us. Yeah,
we love all Yes, well I know, but can they
tell us how they got to that point? Yeah, yes,
social distancing, keeping away from each other and curing, not curing,
but taking care of whatever they can. As soon as
you're seeing something, people are reporting and again we've said
it a thousand times, stay away from each other as

(14:49):
much as you possibly can, because there's a more rapid
spread rate of this than other viruses. So there's a
morning show on the radio and Wuhan right now doing
the same thing we're doing, all in their own houses
doing their show. Well anyway, thank you, Gandhi I'm glad
you're back, you jiggled, you're wired, It's all good again.
It's a miracle that we're all on today. If you're
just turning us on. We are all in our houses

(15:11):
and we're looking at each other on a screen, and
sometimes we sound like Darth Vader. And I don't know.
I have no idea where this day's gonna go, but
I'm so excited that we're here today. I couldn't wait
to talk to you guys. I'm getting all choked up.
I'm afraid if we take a break, we're not We're
never gonna come back. Maybe breaks today. Do we have
to take breaks? Yeah? I think all right, So I'll

(15:36):
ask the question, are you guys ready for your Thursday? Yeah,
let's do it. Let's do it. We'll be right back hopefully.
I love musical Nate here, And if you're tired of
tossing and turning at night, try ze Quill pure Z's
Liquid melitonin same taste as Perez's gummies, but in liquid form,

(15:57):
So give yourself arrest and buy it. Zequill puresis Liquid melitonin.
If I needed retailership, Nelvis Duran in the Morning Show. Okay,
we're back. I think, hih h, scary, I do. I
think I'm getting coffee from uh Samantha. She says, only

(16:19):
have one live spot today and that's for Norton three sixty.
But if you want to do a Taco Bell commercial,
I'll just make it up because I know that one
by a memory you talk about Norton. Yeah, God, you
gotta reset Tree sixty. Yeah, because somebody stole my dad's identity.
This is you know what what jackass is stealing identities

(16:41):
during the virus. So so yesterday we found out that
there's an account open and you know, my dad's obviously
passed on and it was opened in February and my
dad has passed on and my poor mom is going
through this while all of this is going on. So
we're trying to figure this all out. Yeah, there's you
know the NonStop that's for a Taco Bell goes. They
still have the Taco Bell breakfast burritos are I'm just

(17:04):
trying to fool you in. Yeah, okay, so everyone in
a while, you're gonna hear this. That means one of
us has to reset, otherwise it will sound like Darth Vader.
So if you're just turning us on Froggy is in
his guest bedroom. Gandhi is in her living room with
a big plant behind her. Danielle's in her basement. Steeries

(17:28):
at light FM, Brody's at home? Is he on the phone?
Can we see how to Brody? Brodi is not. We're
gonna get him on next break. But Sam, what do
we have on hold? And is a producer Sam on
the hold? Yeah? Allways, go talk to producer Sam. And
by the way, I'm in my kitchen on a farm
in the middle of nowhere. Thank you. Good morning, producer Sam.
How are you doing? Good morning, guys. I'm doing pretty well.

(17:48):
How are you guys holding up? I think we're okay.
We're on the air. I mean, it's a total crap show,
but who cares. It's this crap show every day, you know,
it's so entertaining Right now, I can't handle it. I'm
on my couch listening to you guys. Stop cracking up.
You love laughing at just trying to figure this stuff out?
All right, thanks, it's so funny. Well so so. Producer

(18:10):
Sam is on self quarantine. And you've been out for
two days now, three days, right, yes, three days? So
are you eating like a pig or are you exercising?
What are you doing to while the time away? Oh?
I'm doing both. Every meal is a dinner. I'm just
eating food NonStop. But thankfully I live with a personal trainer,
so we've been actually, you know, doing some pretty hard workouts.

(18:33):
I feel good and terrible. It's so weird. The sex
that you're having with him is not counting as the workout.
I'm sorry, sometimes it does, Daniel, Wow, Wow sounds fun.
Oh my god, you see this is making me nuts.
I'll tell you why. I'm I'm probably going to be
alone for weeks with no touching anyone except for I

(19:01):
don't want to go any further than that kid. It's
getting creepy. But this is what everyone's going to you know.
It's we are now living the lives that a lot
of our listeners are living. So we're with you. We're
in the trenches. So yeah, what are you gonna do? So?
Do you have something to make us feel good today?
If you know what I'm saying? Oh yeah, I feel good?
All right? Feel goods from Samantha's couch. Go right ahead,

(19:23):
and I'm in my road to give you a full picture. Okay.
So Helene Shalman, who is who's seventy eight years old.
She lives alone, and like most of us, is self
quarantined right now. Thankfully, she doesn't have to be fully
alone because she lives next to Taran and Calliope, whom
are only nine and six years old, and they happen
to play the cello incredibly well. So they wanted to

(19:45):
offer their neighbors some entertainment and the feeling of companionship,
something we all really need right now. They sat outside
on their porch in full formal black tie garb, and
they put on a concert for all of their neighbors,
and I ended up making Helena so happy that she
left her house for the first time and she went
closer to the music, although she did keep a very

(20:06):
responsible distance from everyone around. But this is something they
just offer their community, and I think it's so lovely
and it's something we all need to do. If you
have something to share with your neighbors, and you can
find a way, we all need it. That right excellent? Well,
thank you so much, producer Sam. So Now, thank you, guys.
I think I'm gonna wait. William up. He plays trumpet,

(20:27):
so he can maybe do that for our neighbors. Oh god,
oh no, producer Sam, stay in touch with us, Okay, okay,
all right, bye Wow. I'm watching the all the texts
come through. Where is straight Night? Straight Night is in
the same studio as Scary but like many feet away, right,

(20:50):
you're staying so I would see a good seven and
a half right here? Yeah, yeah, yeah, be careful with
the sexual innuendo. I just can't handle it. Text people.
Someone just said that all their employees are sick. They're
taking care of nine plaus is, one hundred and ten
stores and thirty six apartments. Oh my god, hang in there,

(21:11):
I'm gonna be fine. Yeah. Here's someone calling from a
scrapyard in Ohio. Due to the virus. They've closed their
closed their retail office. However, money through Fridays. They're open.
It's closed on Saturday, so that's okay. So the scrap
metal business in Ohio is doing really well. This is fabulous.
I love that, anyone. It's so funny to see what

(21:31):
people react to. Like one of the big things. Yesterday
I saw Simon Malls, which is one of the largest
mall operators in America. They're shutting down their malls. Oh
that got some people's attention. I'm like, oh, so that's
what gets your attention when we shut a mall down,
But everything else has got on your attention. Yeah, right
here you go, people texting in. You guys are hilarious
and your crap show is better than no show, So
keep giving us crap. Someone here's getting ready for foot surgery. Oh,

(21:54):
speaking of people going in for surgery, Carla Marie is
going to be on Fox and Friends this morning. Danielle,
what's the story. It's a very very sad story. Yeah,
So her mom actually needs quadruple bypass surgery and she
was supposed to get it, and she really needs the surgery.
So they wound up canceling the surgery because in the

(22:15):
hospital where she's supposed to get it, there are patients
that have COVID nineteen and so they said to her, well,
it's not safe for her to get the surgery, but
she really needs the surgery. So now Carla and a
family are trying to figure out, well, why if she
really needs it, how can we wait. So they're trying
to figure all of this out right now, which she
knows a lot of families are going through the same thing,

(22:37):
you know, and she can't be here because her mom's
in New Jersey, which is actually she's her mom is
right by me, and she's over in Seattle. So it's
driving Carla crazy and it's stressing her out. So they're
trying to figure all this out, and Carla doesn't feel
like a lot of young people are taking this seriously enough.
So she's on Fox today talking all about that. Yeah,
they had a report on CBS News from spring break

(22:58):
where you know, everyone's bitching and own him because they're
ruining our spring break. They're overreacting. Yeah, too bad, tough titties,
you know. But birthdays in a couple of weeks, right,
And did you see the meme going around yesterday for
people who have birthdays in March and April. It's a
person sitting in a chair with a birthday crown on
and a cake and you're slummed in your chair. When

(23:20):
Nate was young and he had but do you know what,
too bad? Too bad? We're all in this together, and
who cares. It's one birthday and that's it, you know,
stop complaining and suck it up. Wow, there you go,
they're calling it. It's not March madness. It's March sadness.
But I say, we're gonna get through this. We're all
good and so. But tomorrow of the story, especially from

(23:42):
carnin Marie's point of view, and her mother is in
a very very very difficult spot needing that surgery is
play safe. Don't fall downstairs. This is not the time
to be to be going to the hospital and pushing
them beyond their limits because they're already there. I'm sure
right anyway, we're gonna take a break. I don't know why.
Like I said, I'm afraid if we take a break,
we'll never come back, but I think we will. We'll

(24:03):
be back right after this. Elvis Duran, God, what is
it with these people? Elvis Duran in the Morning Show? Okay,
so I don't have taco about copies on. Scotty bailed
on me in the Morning show and we made it

(25:11):
into work. What are you doing today? In our crap show?
Feel Free? Danielle in her basement, Gandhi in her living room,
Froggy in his guest bedroom. Scary's at light FM. Can
I just tell you what I was looking out right now?
Can I looking at right now? My husband just walked
down here in his underwear, hands me a cup of coffee.

(25:34):
I go, hey, say hi to everyone. He goes, I can't.
I'm in my underwear. Where he underwear there is Oh
my god, he's in his underwear the now. Oh my gosh,
he's flashing on now. Oh my gosh. That bring that back.
We need to stuff. Oh geez, let's go talk to

(25:54):
Laura online one. Let's just check and see what everyone
is up to. How are you doing today, Laura? What's
going on? Hey, hey, Elvis, guys, thank you so much
for being on the air. So I'm a waitress in
New Jersey, right next to Bergen County, and with I
knew because of you guys. I only listen to you
guys that want to happened in New York that I
knew it was going to happen in New Jersey. And

(26:16):
I started panicking and I kept listening to you and
just thank you guys so much for being on the air.
I found my first house that I could clean today,
So thank god that something's coming through because I can't
even I ask them, can I do deliveries? Can I
do counters? Anything? But it's so slow. Everybody's scared to
go out, but just thank you guys so much for

(26:36):
being on the air. You have no idea. It's like,
calm me down so much. You know, you're bringing up
a very good point. We have a lot of friends
in the service industry either you know, either waiting tables
or in the kitchen or at hotels or you know, anywhere,
and they're all like you, they're losing their jobs. Our
friend George, the bartender in Santa Fe, He's like, how
I'm out of a job. I'm like, we need drinks

(26:58):
now more than ever. What do you do? Know? And
we don't know what to do. It's like, where where
else do you go? I mean, if I didn't, I
kept asking friends. I was like, I'll do anything. At
this point, I'll clean your house, so queen whatever, And
thank god, finally something came through last night and just well,
just thank you guys so much. Yeah, I love and
I do on this day, hashtag Brody and Scary though

(27:23):
scars at home. Brody has just finally had a smile
for the first time today, and he doesn't a smile. Hey, Laura,
I hope that made him a smile. Yeah, that's that's
the only smile of the day. He's only allowed one. Hey, Laura,
are friends at M and M's have these chocolate candies
called Eminem's Minis. Have you seen these? They come in
the little container and it sounds like a little I have.

(27:44):
I used. I used to eat them when I was younger. Yeah. Look,
thanks for a little too, Yeah, Laura, Laura, the thanks
to that little tube of Eminem's Minis. Uh, we're gonna
give you a five hundred dollars gift card. Oh my god, no,
thank you so much. Oh my god, Elvis, you have

(28:06):
no idea. Oh my god, thank you, thank you. I
wish I wish we had a million of these to
give away. I wish, but you guys, being on the air,
it's just so enough and hearing everything else. Just thank
you so much. Well, look, keep in mind when Easter
gets here, you need to leave something. Okay, Okay, Laura,

(28:35):
we love you, and like I said, I wish we
could give everyone listening one of these, and we're gonna
do our best to take care of as many people
as we can. I want you to hold on it.
I've got bad news. You have to talk to straight
Nate now, So hold on one second. I already did
hold one second, Laura, good luck and you'll you'll be fine.
Listen to us. Okay, thanks, jeez ah. Wow, all right, Gandhi,

(29:01):
how's your cousin doing? Wow? Okay, thank you for asking.
She is doing okay. So, my cousin found out yesterday
that she tested positive for the coronavirus. And an interesting
piece of all of this is my cousin is twenty
years old and she's really healthy. So for anybody who
thinks that, Nope, this is not going to affect the
younger people, it absolutely is. She was studying abroad in

(29:24):
Spain and they all got the order to come home.
She came home, was doing fine, showing no symptoms, and
then suddenly she got a runny nose. So her father,
who's a physician, said, you know what, let's find out
and report this and get it tested. And since she
was in a country that was at a level three,
the state tested her. The results came back about a
day and a half later, and she did test positive
for the coronavirus. Wow. Keep is informed. Also a very

(29:48):
same story out of New Jersey Freehold, New Jersey, a
family of seven all caught it and some of them
had passed away and we're going to get into that,
but we also have some news you need to hear
desperately to keep you safe, and some advice from people
who know what they're talking about coming up in Gandhi's
three Things you need to Know. Brody, who we also

(30:11):
hear in the news. He smiled today and that's making
headlines around the world. Um, how at home you are you? Okay?
I'm I'm doing much better now that Laura shouted me out,
Brody and scary. That was great. It made me smile.
You are right. How how does the show sounding? Answer?
Because we have no idea what this this is doing.

(30:33):
We have no idea, but it sounds. It sounds great.
There's a couple of dropouts here and there when you
know people are talking. But I'm listening on iHeart and
FM radio and it sounds really good. I'm in my
car right now, so I don't wake anybody up. Okay, Well,
if you're in the car, don't don't don't start the
engine and keep the garage door closed. You know how
to do a reconnect. Gandhi sounds like Darth Vader. Listens

(30:58):
to beep. Here we go. Gandhi's almost back. I will
thank you, I will say, with all that's going on,
you guys are putting on the air even more than
you used to. So I'm loving to stay at home thing. Okay,
we've gotta hang up on you. I gotta go. Thanks

(31:18):
for reminding me you're not supposed to be on the air.
Uh No, so we just lost Gandhi. I will tell you,
with all of us in all these separate places, we're
gonna have a lot of this, So just get used
to it. It's just our new way of life for now.
But thank you so much to uh engineer Jeff and Josh.
They worked around the clock all day yesterday, all night

(31:38):
last night to make sure we could get on the
air today, and uh it was a challenge. Yeah, well
thank you. And when's the last time you slept, Jeff? Um? Okay,
oh Jeff, you know what, it was important. It was
important to get you guys on the air. People need
to hear you. Well, thank you and I agree. And

(32:02):
like I said earlier, if we weren't able to do
what we're doing, we would die a little too. So
here you go. Let's get into the Danielle Report. Danielle,
all right, live from your basement, Well your husband just
flashed us his junk in his underwear, which, oh my gosh,
this guy, I tell you. All right, so let's talk
about what self isolation is doing to people. So, first

(32:24):
of all, it's making America game again. According to Verizon,
video game usage is peakings up seventy five percent since
the quarantine went to effect. And I'll tell you right now,
my kids are gaming more. Thankfully, they're going outside to play,
but they're also you know, once the school stuff is done,
they are definitely gaming more so Universal Pictures. So Cats

(32:45):
is from Universal Pictures. Did you guys know that originally
when Cats was coming out, there were the cgi buttholes
on the Cats that had to be digitally removed. Yeah,
there was a guy who was specifically hired to move
the buttholes because I guess they didn't want them in there,
maybe they didn't look right. So now, yeah, I removed

(33:07):
the butt holes from Cats. So people are asking people
want them back because they're saying, um, guys, we're home,
we are doing nothing right now, So could you guys
give us a version with the butt holes so people
would like that back? So well, good, set another job.
He gets to put the holes back on the Cats
and Laurie Laughlin's trial is set to go even though

(33:29):
everything's going on with coronavirus. They're saying that in Boston,
the federal courts are going to go forward. Uh, pre
trial deadline is in session. They extended it for sixty days,
but it is set to start, uh, you know, not
too long after and hopefully all will be said and
done by Thanksgiving or before Thanksgiving, and we'll see what

(33:50):
happens there. Chrissy Teagan is actually defending Vanessa Hudgins. Now,
yesterday we talked about this d Vanessa Hudgins took to
social and she was like, people aren't gonna dive. I'm coronas,
It's inevitable, It's just gonna happen. It was just stupid. Well,
she says, look, celebrities say stupid bleep. Unfortunately they're gonna
learn from it. Hopefully history says that we learn from

(34:12):
it and then we move on. So Chrissy Teagan says,
you know, don't be too hard on Vanessa Hudgens. But
I think we're still gonna be hard on Vanessa Hudgens
because people are not happy with her. So what are
we watching right now? Watch watch this afternoon. Let me
tell you. Let me tell you the top five things
that are streaming right now on Netflix. So number five

(34:33):
is Boss Baby Back in Business. That's a cartoon. But
let me tell you, all the kids are watching it.
My family's watching it. It's awesome. Spencer Confidential, we talked
about this the other day. That's the Mark Wahlberg movie
that's out right now. Also, Post Malone is in it.
Some people love it, some people don't love is Blind.
That's the series with Nick and Vanessa Lachey. A lot
of people are binging that on my block. Season three

(34:54):
finale of that and All American the season premiere of that.
UM that is inspired by the life of American football players.
UM Spencer pay singer between a breakout football career in
Beverly Hills and conflict with family at home. A high
school footballer struggles to find the footing while trying to
seize every opportunity. So that might be something you want
to watch. You just gave a whole plot. I can't

(35:15):
watch it now. He just told me that you can.
That should make you want to watch it. That's supposed
to entice you, Elvis entice you. I think we just
got Gandhi back? Is that you Gandhi? I think Gandhi's back?
Is we lost Gandhi there? Buttop our first report from
the basement. If you know what I'm doing. People are
texting in. Are we gonna call Uncle Johnny and check

(35:38):
on him? Yes, we need to check on the elderly.
We need to get Gandha Gandhi back, we need to
get we need to get what else we need to do.
We need to get the three things we need to
know from Gandhi. Next and talking to Uncle Johnny, and
people are asking why I'm on a farm by myself
and Alex isn't here. Alex is at the zoo and
he's thanking God that we had rain today. He's imagining
that the rain is washing away all the virus. So, yeah,

(36:02):
I know, but I'm out here and I'm probably not
going to see him for a while. We don't know
how long. So uh, we gotta call him see how
he's doing. And they're taking care of the animals at
the zoo. Everyone, everyone who can is doing everything they
can to keep the world moving, and we appreciate it. Hey, look,
we gotta take a break. We'll be back with Gandhi
and three things after this show. Why would you get

(36:30):
breakfast burritos from a burger place when you can get
them from a burrito place Introducing Taco Bell's new toasted burritos.
Choose from Grande, hash brown or Cheesy toasted breakfast burritos,
now available at participating Taco Bell locations during breakfast hours.
Your morning just got toast here, Vitorian in the Morning Show,

(36:50):
about to get into the three things you need to
know from Gandhi. One of those things, Uh, the news
is definitely changing on who is getting this virus. At
one point it was the elderly people's virus, and now
it's not. Now it's everyone's virus. We'll get into that
and some happy stuff coming up. I just want to
say a big thank you to all the truckers out
there who are getting stuff to the stores in our mouths,

(37:14):
in our bellies. Thank you so much to everyone who's
out there on the road. We cannot thank you enough.
I was at King's yesterday and I went to buy
like a couple of shrimp because I'm not with Alex,
so I can eat srimp and he's a highly allergic
from It's so great It's the only good thing about
not being with Alex is I have shrimp. Anyway, my
friend behind this seafood counter said, look, Elvis, you've got

(37:35):
to say thank you to the truckers because every time
a truck rolls in, they go out back in they
start clapping for them. They're like, yeah, you're here, so yeah,
I know. So I know. Danielle was at Whole Food yesterday.
How did your shopping experience come out? So? There was
not a lot to choose from in certain aisles, but
there was one while there was like ten people. I
wouldn't go down the aisle because I was afraid and

(37:55):
I was like, people move. But it was like the
chip aisle and I don't know what the hell they
were talking about out, but they were all down that aisle.
You're talking chips and stuff. Jeez. Move. I find it
fascinating when I see people congregated in groups and you
walk by and you're like, what are you talking about?
And they're talking about social distancing. I'm like, wait, I
feel like you're not getting the point here. Step away,

(38:16):
step away from each other, you know. Gandhi brought up
a very good point is when you get to the
grocery store and there's only one thing left of whatever
you're looking at? What is that? I never want to
touch it? You guys were talking about. I think you
said there was one shining package of chicken thighs, so
you grabbed it, whereas if there's one for me, I
leave it behind because I'm like, oh, nope, that's the
chicken everyone fingered. I know it. Yeah, not touching it.

(38:41):
So you're not gonna buy the last package of chicken
because you're saying, this is like the runt of the litter,
and no one wants that one, So why would Why
would I want it if they don't want it? Okay,
exactly why is it still there? What was wrong with it?
I need to know what's up frog. Everybody in my
neighborhood is doing the social distancing things, So they're sitting
in chairs in there driveways and each person is six

(39:02):
foot apart and they scream at each other to the
next driveway, Hey, what's going on? Hi? You know what
I gotta say? Though, yesterday our neighbor Frank called us,
and every neighbor is like checking in on the other
neighbor to make sure everybody's okay and doing like neighborly checks,
which I thought was the sweetest thing. So that's pretty cool.

(39:22):
I think everybody should do that check your neighbors. Of
course I'm having here on the farm. I have no neighbors.
I have chickens and foxes. But so another shout out
to all the farmers. You know, maybe I need to
get out there and grow a garden and then sell
this stuff on the side of the road. Well, thank
you to all the farmers who are up early and
milking the cows and you're picking the greens and you're
keeping us fed. Thank you so much. Rich online one

(39:44):
just ahead of Uncle Johnny Online. I don't know what
line he's on, but we'll get to him in a minute. Hey, Rich,
how's the bread truck doing. How's your delivery's going? Hello?
How are you Okay? Guys, we're doing well, okay, okay,
how are you Rich? You got to hear me. I'm amazing.
I'm thrilled. I actually made it through. So you made it.
You did make it through. So what kind of bread

(40:05):
you got in the truck? How much you how much
you selling it for? I deliver pastries, muffins, full loaves,
half loaves, you name really got it. Oh my god,
I would love a half loaf right now, pinching me
off a half loaf? Yes, Rich, go ahead. I have

(40:26):
someone that I half set up for the shows. It's
a special I want to I want to uplift everyone's spirits.
I'm here for a gift to the show. Now. I
am most known for telling horribly bad jokes like Stacey
pumping bad jokes. Okay, and I have special jokes for
everyone on the show, special jokes for everybody. Okay, so
you didn't get these from Brody because he already has

(40:47):
that anyway, okay, h go ahead, you're on stage. Go ahead, sir.
I know time is short, so let me begin with
my intro. These jokes may be a little scary, so
it's right to it, right, Froggy, Yes, all right? Now,
all right, Alvis, what do you call yourself when you're

(41:10):
standing in by a pool? What do you call yourself?
What do I call me when I'm standing by a pool?
Do you want albus? Do you walk because you can't
ran by a pool? Oh? Boy, Albus? Do you walk
because you can't ran by a pool? Okay, yeah, okay,
all right, carry out? Yeah, where are you not allowed

(41:32):
to go. I don't know where the public library? Then yo, okay, yelling.
So these are like instructional riddles, yeah, okay, And finally
we got Gandhi. What do you have? Hi? All right, Gandi,
here's yours. I believe the entire cast the show shouldn't

(41:55):
make a shout rest remake of downd Be with the Winds.
All right, Okay, one more, Okay, okay, we really have
to go because everyone else has already gone. I bet,
I bet that your favorite eighties bands is Duran Duran Well, oh, yes, okay,

(42:26):
I believe his name changed his name to Felicia. Felicia.
I love you, Rich, Rich, I know you're hearing us.
On hold, you be careful out there, and uh, you know,

(42:47):
I hope you're not crashing your truck like you crashed
our show. Thank you've been social distancing a little too long. No,
but you know what, it's interesting people. Hey, speaking of
interesting people, I got uncle Johnny on hold, it's only
getting better. Good morning, Johnny, Johnny. All right, thank you john,

(43:11):
Uncle Johnny. So what are you doing up? Sounded great
next to him? What are you doing to prepare your day?
Have you put your teeth in yet, No, I was
on my way. Then I got a phone call. I'm

(43:32):
sorry we interrupted your morning. So were you gonna do?
We was going for my teeth and the phone rang.
Oh god, you were so close. So did you have
a nice martini to calm your nerves last night? Yes,
that's why I've been sitting here looking out the window.
Nobody's around, and I'm across from Madison Square Garden. The

(43:54):
streets are empty, and I've been just making food and
cocktails and watching Eavy. It's I'm having a wonderful time here.
Uncle Johnny, Hey, I question for Uncle Johnny, Danielle, or
do you have something for Uncle Johnny? So, Uncle Johnny,
are you letting yourself go a little bit more that
you're home? Like you're not putting your teeth in, you're

(44:15):
not putting your hair on, you're not showering, like is
it gross? I did that for a couple of days,
and then yesterday I says, you know, I gotta get changed.
So I took a shower, I shaved, I put my
hair on, and I and I'm out by myself sitting here,
and I says, well, at least I feel better. I
went down and got the mail and I could take

(44:37):
the elevator down. And everybody in the building has been
very nice. They said, you need anything or do you
want anything? But I'm everything here. I got all the liquor,
I got all the food. I've got everything. So I'm
doing fine. I'm just very lonely. Good. Yes, gone, gott.
You have a question for Uncle Johnny. Yeah, So, speaking

(44:58):
of being lonely, what is it that you're doing to
keep yourself entertained while you're quarantined all day and keeping
away from people. Well, I've been. I do my exercise.
I have a little like the little gym I have
here where I laid down and do the weights and stuff.
And then I've been watching TV and and cooking and
making things and uh, having a good time. I made

(45:20):
some ice cream, would you mean? I have been boot
And so I've been com in the blender and making
the cocktail and praising it. And that's why hold on.
Danielle has a follow up on the Uncle Johnny Press carfence. Yes,
Uncle Johnny, have you been sober at all? Yeah? Well,

(45:43):
actually I have been. I have been. I don't I
won't start until this afternoon. I'll have my bloody Mary
for lunch. Oh good, I wish you were here by
cocktail four or five? U Uncle Johnny? Are you having
any conjugal visits? Are you having anybody come over you?
You're practicing safe? I have I have my friends, you know.

(46:05):
I have my friend Richard. He comes over and I
make something and that's about it. The other day for
Saint Patrick's Day, I made con beef from cabbage, and
I had two friends of mine that I made sure
that they weren't sick. And they come and they make
them wash your hands and take off their shoes, and
we had a couple of time. Yeah, finally from scary.

(46:28):
What do you want to ask, Uncle Johnny? Uncle Johnny,
you know a lot of supermarkets and grocery stores are
doing this thing where the early morning is set aside
for the elderly. Are you going to be taking advantage
of that and going out shop and you get the
first hour and a half to yourself. I heard that yesterday.
But I got everything I have. I don't need anything.
I may walk down there just for the hell of

(46:50):
it to say, hy does people all right? Because yes,
stay away from people, I mean yeah, just stay away
from people. Don't get too close. Okay, Oh y Joe,
that's I've been fine. Everybody staying away from me. Yeah,
all right, thank you, Uncle Johnny. We'll check back with

(47:12):
you later. Have a beautiful day. Okay. Okay, you guys too,
A love you, love you, Love you too, Uncle Johnny.
Oh my gosh, I can't stop picturing him laying on
the floor of his home gym with weights, with no teeth.
He used to be a strong guy. No, no, no,
he's been a bouncer. He's done at all. He used

(47:33):
to he actually used to be uh. He used to
like steal stuff from people. He was like a hoodlum.
His name was Ace Marino. You've heard his Ace Marino stories, right,
Oh my god. Maybe tomorrow at this time we'll have
the Ace Marino story. Love him. Oh boy, that was great.
So a lot of people are checking in just now
turning us on. Let me set the table for you.

(47:55):
Thanks to an incredible, incredible team of our family members
Engineer Jeff and engineer Josh and Tom Pullman and THEA
and I mean everyone. They insisted we have a show
today because they know how important not only is it
for people to have us on the radio, but even
more important to keep us busy so we don't cause damage.
I don't know. Yeah, uh scary is that the light

(48:18):
FM studio because our Z one hundred studio has been
locked down and they're cleaning it deeply. Danielle's in her basement,
Gandhi's in her living room. Froggy is in his guest bedroom,
laying down on the bed, half on the bed, half
in the chair. Right now, it looks like a webcam. Girl.

(48:38):
I actually took a picture of what Froggy looks like
right now and I posted it because he looks like
he's soliciting for something you're doing online sex. He's gonna
show us his butt hold on. We're watching him on
our Skype. He's gonna taking a picture. We need that.

(49:10):
I got a who wants you got a picture? Send
it out? So daniel who was that did the erased
the cats buttholes on cats in the movie? We needed
him right there? Yeah, we need him right there, some
guy that they hired. That's what his job was. Danielle's
husband and I have both had our pants down, dude,

(49:31):
isn't it's just like coming down here in selection and everybody. Okay,
I have a question about a charge, what's that? Is
this what guys do when they're board is moon things
and come down in their underwear. Because my boyfriend randomly
sent me a picture of his uh his voice nuts
the other day. Yeah, just nutsack. There wasn't even anything
else still on. It was just this nutsack. I was like,
what the hell is that? Is that? The peach emoji?

(49:52):
Oh my god? I think what happens is we we
become little kids. We become like little preteens. Yes, you
know what Sheldon's been doing. He's gonna kill me. Wait
all on, like I'm looking to see if you can
hear me. I'm on the damn radio. What an idiot?
He comes up? He comes up behind me during the
day and he just starts like like a dog and

(50:15):
like just Adam, nowhere, kitty, no, like kidding, yeah, like
he's kidding around. Come in. But I'm like, I'm like,
what the hell are you doing? It's just like that.
But I think you guys get like in this little
kitty giddy mooney, you don't know what to do with yourself?
What God? Well, now, I'm all Jill, send them over here.

(50:40):
It's their favorite toy. They're playing with their favorite toy
while they're all my pretend animal. Hey, I send you
the picture of Froggy's butt. It's half of a butt.
Can I post this? Yeah, it's a half moon. Scary
working at light FM today, what are you? What are
you learning from our friends that work in light FM.
So I'm observing them through the glass and I noticed

(51:01):
they have a lot of downtime. They just they just
like talking to them. They're talking to each other, and
I'm like, we work, we're working at the wrong station.
They're having a job. They pay him a lot of
money just to sit there and play like three in
a row and every song, every time, every once in
a while. Look over and then the light, the recording
light goes on. It says we're on the air. And
then and it goes off like thirty seconds later. It's crazy. Wow, Yeah,

(51:24):
we have Now we have to talk. That's that's all
we do is talk talk talk talk talk talk talk.
But anyway, um, I as we get into the three things,
don't hit the button yet. I must tell you guys,
last night I was sitting here and I had my
I really had my first little meltdown. Um. I was
out here by myself with with Max, Thank God, my
dog is here. And I realize, you know, I'm not

(51:46):
I may not even see my friends, you guys other
than the show for weeks and weeks and weeks, and
I could not wait for this morning to happen. I
couldn't wait for us to get on the air together
because this is this will be my outlet for the
day after this show is done at ten o'clock our time,
I'm I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
I'm I don't know, and uh, having you guys here is.

(52:10):
And then last night when they told us there was
a chance we couldn't do the show, I was, I was,
I don't think I've been that sad in such a
long time. And I realized, how how uh you know?
Without this, I don't even know who I am. So
I just want, you know, I want you guys to
know how much I love you. And the fact that

(52:31):
that they pulled off a miracle and got us on
the air today, you I don't you know, I'm not
suicidal or anything, but I'm not saying that, but it's just,
you know, thank God, and there you go. I love
you guys. With that said, it does yeah, let's get
into the happy news with God, with Gandhi. Three things
we need to know and now listen, no, no no, no, no.

(52:53):
We're having a lot of fun, you know, craps and giggles,
but we need to get the important information out there
because things are changed. Where do you want to start?
Go ahead, all right, I'm going to start with, of course,
coronavirus updates right now. Not one, but two members of
Congress have now tested positive for COVID nineteen. Ben McAdams
of Utah tweeted the news just an hour after a
Florida congressman said that he had it as well. Both

(53:15):
of them started feeling six Saturday night. Saw doctor got
the results Wednesday, and they are still quarantined and urging
everyone to please listen to health experts. Yesterday alone in
Italy they lost four hundred and seventy five people in
just one day. So if you are inaccurately thinking right
now that this is an illness for older people, you
are wrong. News out today shows that forty percent of

(53:36):
people who have actually been hospitalized are between the ages
of twenty and fifty four. So we really need to
take this seriously. And while there may be a vaccine
in the future. There is no cure right now, so
there's really only one way we can fight this, and
that is by keeping our distance, washing our hands and surfaces,
and staying as clean as we possibly can. It's not
a joke. Stop turn a party. And if you have
been hoarding groceries, this affects you. There's a new bill

(53:59):
that might make it illegal to try and return those
hoarded groceries. It's happening in New Jersey and aimed at
food and most other items that people have been panic buying.
The state is scheduled to vote on it today and
the bill says that the coronavirus may actually remain viable
for hours and days on surfaces, and returning hoarded groceries
could actually spread the virus. And now for some good news,

(54:21):
this is yeah, this is actually an upbeat story. So
we know that Italy is having a really tough time.
But I don't know if you guys have seen pictures
and videos coming out of Venice where the canals that
are usually this unnatural bright green color are now clearing up.
You can see fish, they're becoming clear. The canals look beautiful,
and they're even saying in some places that dolphins have returned.

(54:41):
So apparently just taking humans out for just a couple
of minutes and sitting down is helping the environment over there.
So that's a good news. So look at that. Look
at what we've learned. Taking humans out of the equation
is cleaning up the canals in Venice, it's cleaning up
the air quality over China, and it also cleans It
cleans us out because you're not rubbing against who may
be sick. So now's the time to uh separate, you

(55:05):
gotta do it. What we're doing is uh, I think
we're doing the right thing. And uh it's gonna get lonely,
it's gonna get challenging, but we have each other and
we have these boxes that connect us. Let's hear it
for the boxes, all right, thank you, gandhi. Do we
have a phone tap coming up? A free trip phone tap?

(55:25):
We sure do. Oh, thank you to our friends at
visit Florida dot com. You're gonna win a trip to
anywhere you want to go in Florida and you have
up to a year to take it, which is the
greatest news of all. We have that coming up for
you right after this. This is Elvis Durrand in the
Morning Show El in the Morning Show, Durand in the

(55:48):
Morning shows Free trip phone tap. We are everywhere in
our living rooms, on our basements, in our guest bedrooms.
I'm in my kitchen, and I gotta tell you, wouldn't
it be great? Would't be great to help on a
plane one day soon and fly to Florida and take
a vacation. It will happen. Oh yeah, thanks to our
friends at visit Florida dot com. You're about to win

(56:09):
a trip to anywhere you want to go in the
state of Florida. And even if you live in Florida,
you know there are so many places to go. Today,
Let's focus on the Florida Keys and Key West. All right.
I cannot tell you how my vacations and Key West
ended because I had so much fun. I have no memory.
Why do you think, Oh God, were you asked to

(56:30):
leave politely? I don't know. I don't remember flying down there.
I remember the worst time vacation you did. That was
a wild one. Yeah. Well, no, we've done several. It's
time to go back. Listen. Key West is just an
incredible place. The pace is so relaxing. Everyone is just
chilled out, and that's what we need, and we're gonna

(56:52):
we're gonna definitely need that vacation as soon as we
get through all of the stuff we're going through right now.
So thanks to our friends at visit Florida dot com,
you can actually look up Key West or any other
destination in Florida you want to fly too, because you're
about to win a trip. Be caller one hundred. Now
it's the free trip phone tap one eight hundred two
four two zero one hundred. All right, who's doing the
phone tap? Today's scary? It's David Brody. Here we Govi's

(57:17):
Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone tap. All right, David Brody,
what's your phone tap all about? Today? Elvis Carol wanted
us to phone tap her boyfriend Dustin. They've only been
dating a couple of months, and apparently he's supposed to
meet her father's soon and he's very nervous about it.
So I call as heir overprotective dad who just wants
to make sure his baby girl is happy. Oh boy,

(57:38):
this is gonna get dirty. Yeah, all right, let's listen
in Brody's phone tap. Hello, Yeah, I'm looking for Dustin. Hey, Dustin,
it's Jimmy, Carra's dad. How are you doing? Oh? All right,
Nice to finally talk to you. Yeah, listen, I know
what I know. I haven't dinner next week, but I
wanted to give you a call. Go over a couple
of things. You know, you've been with my daughter for
a couple of months now, right, correct? Right? So what

(58:02):
are your intentions? We've been having a great time, so
I want to keep that up. You uh, you and
are sleeping together? Yea? No? Have you had dust and
be honest with me? Have you have you slept with
my daughter yet? No? No? So it was my daughter
attractive enough for you? No? Not? She's very attractive. So okay,

(58:23):
so let me just get this straight. You want to
make my baby girl happy, right, yeah, of course. So
the things you need to know about Carras she's not
like a lot of girls. She's different. You'd agree with that, right, Yeah? Well, well,
actually she's two of a kind. She's a lot like
her mother. Very difficult woman to please. Took me years
to figure out the tricks, you know what I mean?

(58:46):
I don't really think we should be having this conversation. Well, listen,
I'm not to listen. I'm not talking about my wife.
I'm just saying Carol is like her mom, you know
what I mean, She's like a car. Sometimes with cars,
you gotta like bang the steering wheel and kick the
tire and punch the dashboard turned the right, you up,
Then the cost starts, you know what I mean, some
cause you're the hard and start, you know what I mean.
I think I'm kind of getting it all right, right,

(59:07):
well kind of getting it. She needs to really get it.
So listen. If you got a pen, I'm gonna give
you some some Tipsia. Now, it's just kind of hit
hard to hear this from you. I'm sorry. It's just
a little weird. The whole things a lotok weird. It
needs to be unwird. If you want to make my
daughter happy. We wanna make my daughter happy, right, you're
not gonna break my door's all right? No? No, no, no,
of course, Yeah, I have a pen. Okay, okay, my listen.
My baby girl likes to be bent over a tub.

(59:29):
You got tub? It's just like an a normal thing.
Oh who whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. I
didn't need that. No, sorry, you want to make my
baby girl happy. You're not maybe you're not the right
guy far to do. It's just this is okay, Okay,
I don't mean they disrespect. Okay listen. Yeah, you do
know how to do an Eiffel tower like well, write
that down. She loves a good Eiffel tower. Oh oh,

(59:50):
very important. By the third or fourth time that you're
with our she likes the Cranberry sauce with an M.
The Cranberry's this is a thing. Yeah, she loves her
driver crazy, do you either, Cello Fellow? All right, yeah,
you're gonna need an empty three player and a wave machine.
Just ride it down. Listen. Bye. You know what on

(01:00:13):
the first the first time you guys are intimate, definitely
do the flying v V. All right. The Peter Piper,
that's the Peter Piper her. Okay, are you working with me? Yeah?
And you're gonna need to pull a Pittsburgh Penguin on
her at some point. But what does that mean? That's
what the internet's for. Son. Okay, you're gonna need a friend.

(01:00:35):
I need all this. Listen. If I had someone like
me helping me out twenty seven years ago with her mom, listen,
it was like seven years where like boom, she couldn't
have the big Oh. I didn't know what that was
going on. That was like flying v boom all of
a sudden, whoa, it's rocking her world, the bets shaking
Pittsburgh Penguin. Forget about it now. She cooks dinner for
me every night, just hoping to get the Pittsburgh Penguin.
Are you kidding me? You'll be thanking me? Can you

(01:00:59):
touch your toe? That's what it is, okay, because you're
gonna need to do the Williamsburg wheelbarrow with her Williams wheel. Yeah,
but you'll need to get a couple of drinks in
her first. I'm very sorry. It's just this is a
shock to me. That's all all right, Well, listen speak
in a shock. She loves the shocker. Definitely do that. Okay,
all right, thank you, Hey, Dustin. This is Dave Brodie

(01:01:20):
Melish in the Morning Show with phone tapping you. Oh
my god, I'm experience life go fast. Wow, even during

(01:01:41):
these serious times, Brodie is still a total asshole. Would
you expect anything? West there? There? I said it, Love you, Brodie.
Let's accomplished. All right, Let's go talk to Kimberly, Kimberly,
is this you, Kimberly, is it really you? Yes? Yes,
this really me. How are you doing today? Are you?

(01:02:02):
Are you in a good space? Are you making do?
Are you you happy? What are you feeling? Yeah? I
mean we're good. I'm in Virginia, so we're we're prepared. Well, good, well,
I'm glad you're listening today. And by the way, your
caller one hundred, you just want a trip to Florida,
have far Oh, thanks to our friends at visit Florida

(01:02:24):
dot com, you have up to a year to take
your trip. So as soon as we clean this mess
out of here, I want you on a plane and
doing what you want to do wherever you want to
go on every destination in Florida you want to head up.
You got it. And thank you so much for listening
to us. Kimberly. All right, okay, thank you so much.
I graduated from college soon, so this is perfect. Good. Well,

(01:02:44):
don't forget to distance yourself because you know people your
age are not doing it enough, so just be cool
and all right, okay, all right, thank you so much. Well,
thank you, No, thank you, I mean we should be
thanking you for listening hold on one time and thanks
to is at Florida dot com, we have another free
trip to give away tomorrow with a year to take it.

(01:03:04):
What could go wrong? This is excellent. Let's get into
the Daniel Report live from her basement with her pants
less husband, her bearded dragon, and two cats who are
staring at the bearded dragon like it's a breakfast ready
to happen. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's crazy all right.
So I'm kind of wondering when we're gonna see Daniel's
real hair color. That should be coming up soon, very soon. Guys,

(01:03:27):
it's on the way. I'm kind of excited because I
haven't seen it in years. So this is we don't
even know what it is. And what was our friend
dealer with the pink hair saying, who does everyone's hair?
Dina posted a little psa yesterday urging everyone who may
be thinking about touching up their roots with at home
box colors not to do it if you see a silist,

(01:03:47):
because she says it's gonna make her life harder. She's
gonna have to correct and then get you back to
what you were doing before. So, if you're gray, if
your roots are coming in whatever it is. She says,
let it ride. They do have those little sprays that
you could use for now. So Jack think, get those
little sprayscles are actually pretty good. Yeah yeah, all right,
so yes, get little So yesterday, yesterday we were talking

(01:04:09):
about George R. R. Martin and we were talking about
him finishing his next book in your Game of Thrones
trilogy or whatever it's called. And he says, listen, I
promise you guys, I am safe. I am on a remote,
isolated location. I have one staff member. I'm not seeing
any visitors for the time being. I am hard at

(01:04:30):
work working on this book. It will get done. So
in case you were worried, that's his update for today.
He is working on the book. Jimmy Fallon continues his
at home edition of The Tonight Show. Did an interview
with lin Manuel Miranda last night. His daughters were helping
him with his monologue. Also, his charity last night was

(01:04:50):
Broadway Cares Equity Fight Stage. You know, he's taking different
charities to help out, so that's pretty cool. Drake self
quarantined because he was with Kevin Durant last week before
he tested positive. So he has decided to self quarantine
NASCAR is on hold until May. So Froggy explain this
to me. They're doing live events, they're replacing them with
Eye Racing Series. What are they? What's that? What's that all?

(01:05:13):
It's just another different kind of car racing. But NASCAR
itself is not going to race. And even when they
do come back, they say they're going to race without fans.
But right now the problem is is getting all the
you know, getting all the drivers and getting all the
officials and getting everybody there. They don't want them traveling.
So no racist for now, and even when they do,
no fans. Okay, So it's just the Eye Racing Series
is going on. You can watch that. Yes, there's a

(01:05:35):
new study saying that Jonah Hill swears more than anyone
else in movies. And Leonardo DiCaprio, he's the guy who
swore more in a single movie than anybody else. The Wolf.
They're reading a script. I mean, I don't think you're
reading someone else's words, right, Somebody's got to write that, right,
And did they not survey Samuel L. Jackson movies? We

(01:05:59):
should ask them Leonardo Dicaprico. By the way, The Wolf,
The Wolf of Wall Street has him and has Jonah
Hill in it, and there's like over seven hundred naughty
words in that movie. So hey, since you're home, why
don't you get the Wolf of Wall Street and count
the naughty words and see if they're correct. You could
do I count words you've given us today, Danielle. Danielle
has the most foul mouth on the entire morning show. Yes,

(01:06:23):
you win for radio. I should get the prize for
being able to control it while we're on the air.
That's what I should get. The Amazon is going to
halt incoming shipments of CDs and vinyl They're starting with that.
They're going to make room for household staples like medical
supplies and stuff like that. So if they have it
in stock and you order it, they will still send

(01:06:46):
it to you, the CD and the vinyls, but they're
not going to be getting any incoming items. They're starting
with that, so who knows. If they still need to
make more room for other things, they may stop, you know,
ordering other stuff. But like I said, if you order
it and they have it, they're going to send it
to you. But you can't get pissed. You just gotta
be patient. Little fires everywhere. Like I said, if you
did not see read the book. You have to do.

(01:07:07):
This book is so incredible and right now Hulu knows
that we're home. So they dropped the first three episodes.
They were only supposed to drop the first. They gave
us the first three. Kerry Washington's in it. She's amazing.
Reese Witherspoon's in it. The rest of the series will
be available April first, which is the original release date,
So check that out when you get a chance. It's
pretty cool. All right, let's take your break. We have

(01:07:29):
more coming up, God willing right after this. This is
justin Timberlake. Hey there, it's Phoebe Rex And you're listening
to Elvis durand Elvis durand in the Morning show, it's
Scary Jones. The Titans of Baking are back on Food
Network Buddy the Last Joe and Duff Golden push each
other to create the best cakes of their careers in
this epic battle for baking domination. Buddy Versus Duff Too

(01:07:50):
is back with an all new episode this Sunday at
nine eighth Central on Food Networks Elvis Show, What the
I listen to you every morning? I think you are great?
Oh my god, I love you, guys. I love you guys.
I've been looking guys for Ello. He was the man

(01:08:16):
of the hour. You first gotta shame. We love you
here in the Big h he was a very sweating
drag is gig He's just a sloppy drunk. I give
to you the man with the play, the boy with
the toy, the big big roller listeners ranging group in

(01:08:43):
the morning show. Well, well, well we'll go to cat
dragged in. A bunch of people sitting in their basements,
in their bedrooms, in their living rooms, in their kitchens.
That's us. We are all over the bank today. So far,
so good. We're a two hours in and we haven't
uh we have early solved any problems. But we're at
least we're entertained, aren't we. Yes, I'm having a good time. Honestly.

(01:09:06):
The cat is trying to jump on the console. Hold on,
get away. Okay, you know what, Max Schnauzer. He stays
far away because when we're doing the show, I'm always
screaming like this. He can't handle it. He runs away.
So I'm good. Oh, so Gandhi is thinking about fostering
a new pet. Is that happening today? Maybe if I

(01:09:28):
can convince Scary to give me a ride to a
shelter that's gonna allow me to foster something. I may
come home with a little critter today because watching Danielle
and Froggy playing with their cats and dogs and knowing
Max is over there, I'm so jealous. I just want something. Yeah,
Scary has puss envy. And also while we're talking to

(01:09:48):
our sister Gondhy Danielle, have you seen her? She's on
camera and she's doing her squat magic exercises while she's
eating this. Yeah, I have to counterbalance one with the
So it's great sat magic. We can't see your squat magic.
What exactly is squat magic? Okay? So it's like a
stool and it has these tension bands on it and

(01:10:09):
you can create, you know, more tension or less so
that you just squat like without really hurting your knees
and stuff. So I am not coming out of this
coronavirus social distancing without some big thighs in doing your
squat and magic. Well, what are you eating in that bag?
What is that? They are called nice Cajun snack mix.
It's so good, okay good. I have to off that

(01:10:34):
one with the other Are you guys all eating like pigs?
Are we the only people eating like pigs? Oh my god.
This place opened up called Pushtrami House, and I'm like,
oh my god, I want everything on the I ordered
the entire menu. Elvis. I had brisk go Strammi corn beef. Yeah.
Oh yeah, we know. It came to my house, but
I'm like picking it every little thing. I'm like, oh,
this is so good. Froggy, what are you eating? Well?

(01:10:55):
Yesterday I opened up a bag of Eminem's Peanut Easter
and it's said family size. What does it mean when
you eat the whole family size bag by yourself? You're
a family. It means you're independent, you don't need no
one else, Right, Daniel, what are you eating? I just
had a bagel with butter. That's nice. So you know,

(01:11:16):
I've always heard that you should. You should. Well, I've
always heard that you should. You used to do a
food diary, So yesterday I had an entire table eighty
seven frozen pizza I had. I made my own chicken
palm with no spaghetti for dinner last night, but a
small piece. No. I had four taps white chocolate macadamia
cookies I had, I had some leftover paya and that

(01:11:39):
was yesterday, So I've already started a new list for today.
And then, of course, as I was making my list,
my trainer, who I'm not training with now, gave me
a list of things I have to do today as
far as exercises me. Oh, yeah, I'll get right too though. Yeah.
Lexie is on line twenty four. She says she has
good news for us. Oh, we can use some goodness.
You guys ready for good news? He lady, Hello, Hello,

(01:12:02):
news Hello. So I was actually calling because thence everything's
really sad in the world right now. It's been a
year since you guys followed Ridley the Yorkie. Oh, I
wrote it in through. Yeah, I called into fifty or
I texted in fifty five one hundred about how it's
been a year and I can't believe how fat it's gone. Well,

(01:12:25):
hold on a second, h Ridley the Yorkie, that's right,
we're following. Yeah, so I was just thinking about it.
It popped up and I had to text in and
tell you guys that it's been a lot of fun
the past year. You guys brought a lot of buzz
to his Instagram and it's just been a blast. All right,
So let's let's do another push for Ridley the Yorkie.

(01:12:46):
Let's do it. Let you follow on that. Absolutely, congratulations.
Tell Ridley, we said, hello, we will. I'm sorry that
you guys are stuck in the house. I actually work
in the health service, so I'm going to work every day. Oh,
thank you. You know what, we have to say, thank
you to everyone who's doing what what you're doing, Lexie,
and then that's you're on the front lines. We appreciate
it very much, and thank you for listening to us.

(01:13:08):
To Ridley, we said, hi, okay, well, thank you so much.
Have a great day. There you go, well, thank you,
thank you. But let's go round the room. We haven't
done that in a while. But we're not in a room,
so let's go around the region, around the East coast.
We'll start with you, scary. What's on your mind today?
So because Gandhi is thinking about fostering a pet, I've

(01:13:31):
been always wanting to test out and I always wanting
to test out having a cat. So I'm thinking about
test testing, you know, by by fostering a kitten. The
problem is, I'm afraid I'm gonna fall in love with it,
and then is anyone get a next phone? Um? And
and then andraid a friend of gonna fall in love
with this? And then uh yeah, I think what's happening?

(01:13:53):
Trying to connect and it's not working for him? So yes,
connect But all I heard what were you asking? Now
he's disconnected again. You're going can't hear them. So I'm
talking about the cat Elvis that's gonna run away from home? Okay,

(01:14:15):
you want point is? I want a cap and I
don't want to and it sounds crasp, but I don't
want to fall in love where I'm gonna have to
have it full time and and then I am not
going to be able to take care of it, that's all.
But if you fall in love with it and you
want it full time, maybe you'll make time for long term.
A kitten kiss your life. A kitten is not for
me long term, that's all. It's time to grow up
and adjust your life. I just want to be there

(01:14:35):
for twenty four seven. This is a very selfish way
to attract the cat. All right, what's going on with
you today? Danielle? All right? So, um, I'm noticing that
I'm cooking more even though we're home, I'm trying not
to just sit on my butt the whole time, so
I'm actually trying to cook a little bit more and

(01:14:57):
myself coming up. So I am going to actually make
his birthday cake this year. I am going have you
made a cake before I have? But I haven't tried
to make a really cool looking cake this year. I'm
going to try a cool looking cake. So I'm excited.
I'm excited about at least that part of it. Can
you do it from Pinterest and then do it before
and after? Well, it's it's actually from my own mind.

(01:15:20):
So we'll see how it comes out. Elvis, he's scary.
Elvis is calling you, it says, calling Theory on his phone.
Oh my gosh, so now you have to call on
the next person. Danielle. Okay, so Froggy, what's up with you?
The best part about working from home is I have
my two dogs here. It's like great, it is fabulous.
I opened the door, the two boys walk in, I

(01:15:41):
play with the dogs, they leave, they come back. It's
this is actually kind of like working from home. It's nice.
I was thinking the exact opposite. I was thinking about
how weird it is working from home. Like I thought
this was going to be super duper easy. But the
more that we do it and the more we roll out,
it's obviously not. Now hold on a second, pause, everybody pause.
I Elvis called me on speaker phone because and here's

(01:16:04):
his announcement. Okay, obviously you're on must make an annoucement.
I cannot hear you because I'm totally disconnected, but I
kept trying to reconnect over and over, and all I
heard was Scary say, he's adopting a kitten. We have
to put a stop to this. So I don't know
where we are with this. I'm gonna try to fix
my mic but do whatever happens until I get my
microphone fix. Do not allow Scary to hire to bring

(01:16:28):
a kitten into his house, please, Okay, Scary, do not
do it. Okay, I love this, so why don't we
do that? There you go, Yeah, that's awesome. All right?
You want to do the three things? Would the funniest
stuff to talk about. And if you want more than three,
because we need to stretch you let me know. Somebody
just give me a hand signal Scary and I'll keep going. Okay, look, okay,

(01:16:52):
I'm back. Sorry about that, but I love the fact
that I was having such a bad technical meltdown that
Scary couldn't get his point across. This is what I'm hearing.
How to hear the audio ringing every three seconds? Because
you know what a scary? Do not adopt a cat.
You're not allowed. Okay, perfect, So I'm sorry about that.

(01:17:14):
Are we done with around the room? I'm sorry, Yeah, yeah,
I think so did. I'm very triggered. I'm sorry. The
equipment's not worth Daniel's baking a cake. Froggy loves working
from home. I think it's weird. Scary might get a cat.
That was our round. No, you do not get a
step away from the cat. All right, let's get into
the more than three things you need to know. So,
sorry about that. Well, we'll start with three and if

(01:17:36):
you want more, you guys just wave at me. So
President Trump has signed a multibillion dollar coronavirus aid package
that will include provisions for paid leave benefits, unemployment benefits,
and free diagnostic testing to help the nation respond to
the outbreak. And I'm sure that we've all been hearing
about these stimulus checks that is not official yet. Don't
bank on it yet, but if it all goes through,
they could be in the mail in less than a month.

(01:17:57):
Reports are saying that the plan would provide two payments
of one thousand dollars each too many, not all American adults.
Twitter now banning posts with misleading information, and I have
seen people complaining all over the place that their stuff
is getting taken down, not just Twitter, but Facebook as well.
And there's a reason for that. If you are posting
things like denials of expert guidance, or you're encouraging fake treatments,

(01:18:19):
they're taking all of that off of Twitter. Twitter's following Facebook,
like I said, which in January said that they would
take down posts with false claims or conspiracy theories about
the coronavirus. And again, that's a safety measure because people
need to remain at a safe distance and do the
things that the experts are saying, not the things that
your favorite celebrity or Instagram model is telling you to do.
And finally, we have some good news for deprived basketball fans.

(01:18:42):
The NBA could play a charity game to give fans
something to watch during the day's off Isolation. Commissioner Adam
Silver told ESPN that a charity competition could happen. He
also says that he's not prepared to cancel the entire season,
but says he's not sure how the schedule is going
to look or if fans will even be able to
attend once the season assumed. So some possible good news

(01:19:02):
if they have a charity game, you guys won't starve
for basketball for too much longer. And those are your
three things. Thank you, gandhi, thank you so much. Oh
and of course the headline today is don't be around
other people. There head to say it always and obviously
you can see that sometimes sometimes it's very challenging when
you're doing your show from your own house or you're

(01:19:23):
not with your loved ones. But it's okay, it all
works out. People thought that was really sad about what
has happened our technical meltdown here, Sorry about that. I'm
glad they're still there though, and they're texting us and
they didn't go away. Thanks. People. People think I was
just ringing into interrupt scary it was hilarious. Go to

(01:19:45):
line twenty four, Michelle is I'm so sorry, Hi Michelle,
sorry about the Yeah, what's going on? What's happening on?
Your end. Well, I'm working from home and I'm just
dying listening to you interrupting story four. Scary. He was

(01:20:06):
trying to tell a story and he was being so
patient and it just wasn't working. And I could on
my end. I could see him on Skype. I saw
his mouth moving and he would click in and then disconnect.
I'll have to click in and he would disconnect and
just scary. You should have turned me down. You didn't
have to keep me up the whole time. I was
waiting for you to interject in any second now that's
what I'm used to, and I'm like, okay, any second

(01:20:28):
else is going to come out. I heard. Here's what
I heard. I'm gonna get a kitten. I think it'd great.
And I'm over here going no, no, I gotta text
on Scott to be his wife, saying what the hell's
going on? I got up three times to answer my phone.

(01:20:50):
Oh my god, And this is day was awesome. You
know what I'm saying. I don't know what's gonna happen.
I think okay, so we covered stress eating, but anyway
back to you, Michelle, are you stress eating at all?
Like the rest of us? A little bit. I have
eaten a lot of our snacks. Um, but my whole
family's home, so everybody is I I shopped before this

(01:21:13):
all started, and then um, I actually went to the
store again last night. Already. Wow, there you go. So
you're working, you're working from home. Talk talk to us
about how that's working out for you, because a lot
of our listeners are doing the same thing. Well. Um,
we were given permission to take all of our computer
equipment home, which is good because otherwise I would have
just had my laptop. So um, it's really helpful to

(01:21:36):
have my whole desk. It's like I have a command
center in my basement. But I can still hear everything
going on upstairs, so that's a little stressful. My daughter
was just making her own breakfast and it was a
hot mess. I could hear it. But everything you can
hear this, I will tell you. Speaking of, you know,
being able to take your own gear home, we all
have these these technical boards where we turn our microphones

(01:21:59):
up and down on our headphones. And Froggy discovered this
feature we all have and I'm afraid for everyone to
learn about this. But Froggy, what what did you find?
Maybe you have this on your equipment at home too, Michelle,
But what do we have on these boards frog, Well, like,
for example, when you come into the room, I think
you should be ladies and gentlemen now, Elvis Duran which

(01:22:23):
or when you say something funny, of course you need
a good laugh. We have a laugh track on these things. Yeah.
Which then when when there's a failing play this, yeah

(01:22:43):
plays a squat magic sound squat magic, So at home
fail whatever whatever equipment you you brought up? Are you back?
Gandhi back applause? All right, Michelle, go have a good day.

(01:23:09):
I'm sorry that we're really just a hot mess right now.
Thank thank you for listening. Everything is just falling apart.
This is great. This is my favorite part of the show.
Did you see that text that rolled in? It said
I thought that phone ringing was a secret phone that
my wife was hiding from me. The guy's ears perked

(01:23:31):
up and he's like, is that like a secret phone
that she's got, like one of the garden burner phones?
And also this virus is making us all a little paranoid,
a bit um so straight Nate, should we take a break, Yes,
we might be back right after this. Okay, his name is,

(01:23:57):
and I'm so good. Miss Duran in the Morning Show,
Bring Out your Beauty was Suncare inspired by Hawaii. Hey,
it's Gondi and Hawaiian Tropic Sunscreen has perfected a light,
non greasy formula that's great for your daily beauty routine.
You know that sun protection daily is essential, so stock
up today, available at Amazon, Mister Real, Miss Duran in

(01:24:18):
the Morning Show, Hi, Hello, where you go? I'm my
thing went off again, so I had to call you. Hi.
It's a different perspective. What does you sound different? Well,

(01:24:40):
your phone is very handy. You could do a remote broadcast.
Now you could walk around the neighborhood. Well, no, I
don't want to walk around the neighborhoods. I have no neighborhood.
I want a farm. Hello. Anyway, you know it's kind
of weird. I can see Josh and Jeff are in
my computer trying to fix it. So I'm watching them
do that. But well, welcome to our reality. Hello? Oh yeah,

(01:25:04):
well yes, question if they have access to your computer,
does that mean they could get into your nuty picks?
I don't have any nuty picks. That's why I said
my life or oh that's something you could take up
doing on this little break at home. It looks like
they're installing something new on our computer, so that could
be good. Hey, thank you to everyone with the texts

(01:25:26):
coming through. At fifty five. I have to tell you
that not only should we thank the truckers who are
keeping our lifeline open, but also the mechanics who are
keeping the trucks operating. Let's hear it for our mechanics. Yea,
our mechanics. I know anybody who is going into work

(01:25:46):
right now to do the things that need to get
done for us all to still be able to function.
Thank you to all of them, because I know every
time we say thank you to one group, another group
feels left out. But we really appreciate all of it.
From the doctors and nurses. Yeah, can we give a
special shout out to Jackie Batchie who always listened she's
driving into work. She's a nurse and she says that
we're her only distraction the entire day before she answered

(01:26:08):
COVID cove in ice you well. And also thank you
to the people at Horizon who kept his phone working. Yeah,
we just got another text that said this is the
greatest dumpster fire ever. I agree. It's all right. I
see them. I see them trying to connect me out.

(01:26:30):
It's really funny watching an engineer in your computer because
they do things differently than we do because they're smart
and we're stupid. But U Line twenty four is Nicole.
I think we can connect Tine. Nicole, tell her what
you decided to start this week. I think it's a
very bad idea. Wait Watchers, No, come on already, I

(01:26:58):
sure did, Danielle. Wow, well it's a good program, but
I'm not sure. When you're home and yeah, let me
tell you stings. Starting weight Watchers this week is like
stop being drinking this week. It just doesn't make sense. Yeah,
you know what we do, crazy things socieda. Um, we

(01:27:24):
started on Monday. So far it's it's been okay. You
just have to try and figure out the supermarket and
what you can get and trying to get things in
one big run and use what you have, and it's
kind of motivating. You know, if you could do it now,

(01:27:45):
you could definitely make this a lifestyle. It's the only
program that ever worked for me, to be totally honest,
And I have to say that, like you said, if
you can do it now, then it definitely will set
you up for the future, that's for sure. What do
you think, God, yeah, I did it one other time.

(01:28:05):
I think I need something because I am eating through
all of the snacks that I bought for everything. And
our friend Bobby Brown, I posted a picture of all
of us and what we're doing, and I said, eating
all the snacks, and Bobby Brown said, don't eat all
the snacks, just have a few. Yeah, right, Thanks, Well,
thank you for a free thing. Well, congratulations Nicole. And

(01:28:26):
don't give up just because you hear us taking out.
You should do that too, Okay, speaking can't believe I
mom this. Yeah, I know we're all confused and screwed up,
but we're trying to get through this day. We're actually
having fun, believe or not. But hold on, Nicole, thank
you so much for listening. Thank you so much. I

(01:28:48):
think I'm on now. I think so too low. Here
you are, okay, Hi, I don't know for how much longer?
All right, you back, and we have we have Garrett
on hold as well. Okay. I just want the engineers
to know that my computer doesn't say I'm on, but
I'm on, So I'm just gonna be on. I don't.
I'm not gonna question it. Yes, we have some great
sound from Garrett. Garrett, where are you calling in from today?

(01:29:09):
I'm calling in from Westfield, New Jersey. Hello, Field, New Jersey.
We're over the place. Hold On, I guess it's the
dog outside. Hold on, I gotta put the dog outside.
That funny. When we work from the house, we also
have to do house things including Yeah, and by the way,
don't like my new co workers at home. Not a
fan of them. I've already been repeated at HR and

(01:29:29):
my new jobs. And it's okay that at home employees
he's dealing with. Oh please right, get into sound go
all right, here we go. All right. So you were
talking about this earlier. These are the people down in
Miami college kids on spring break, upset that the coronavirus
is interfering with their spring break. I hate this. If

(01:29:50):
I get Corona, I get Corona. At the end of
the day, I'm not gonna want to stop me for partying.
You know, I've been waiting. We've been waiting for Miami
springbreak for a while. About too much. We've had to
strip playing to three months. Where's out here having a
good time? Whatever, happens. Happens with the bars being closed.
You know, we'll find alternatives. Unfortunately, it does suck like
it's really messing up with my spring break. There's marius,

(01:30:12):
ain't that serious. It's serious. It's more serious things out
there like hunger and poverty and we need to adjust that.
Why well, why, I'm hoping that was recorded several days
ago or yesterday. I think I'm hoping that the people
who are running the bars and the restaurants listen to
that and they'd self unplugged. I mean, someone's got to

(01:30:34):
do something because these kids are too stupid to figure
out on their own. Hope their parents saw them and
gave them a snack down. All right, what else you
got In times like this, let's turn to Matthew McConaughey
for a little pep talk. Hey, everybody in kind of here,
just want to say, in these crazy times that we're
in with the coronavirus um, there is a green light

(01:30:56):
on the other side of this red light that were
in right now. And I believe that green light is
going to be built upon the values that we can
enact right now, values of fairness, kindness, accountability, resilience, respect, courage.
If we practice those things right now, when we get
out of this this virus, this time might be the

(01:31:17):
one time that brings us all together and unifies us
like we have not been in a long time. Let's
see if we can make some lemonade out of this
limon that we're in the middle of, turning red light
into a green light. I love him, Metaphorth Galore, He's great.
You know. The one thing he said that really got
my attention was accountability, where you can't just sit there

(01:31:38):
and not do your part. Everyone has to do something
and that includes pulling away from other people and not
spring breaking. Yes, Gandhi, this is really making me reassess
like certain relationships I have in my life because if
people are really not paying attention to this and just
being selfish and doing their own thing because they don't
think it affects them. I'm looking at people differently now,
and maybe I shouldn't, but that's what's happening. No, we're

(01:32:00):
learning a lot about each other and ourselves. I learned
something about myself last night. If I if I think
about it, I'm gonna just start bawling. I'm to start crying.
I learned something very important about me last night through
all of this, and I think that's great. Pay attention
and be aware. All right, back to you, Garrett. What else?
All right? Now? A lot of families are getting to
learn more about each other. So this one grandson said,
you know what, I'm going to turn this opportunity and

(01:32:21):
start telling my grandmother jokes. What did one saggy boob
say to the other saggy boob? You need to live.
If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna
think we're nuts. We love grandma, all right. And then

(01:32:46):
a lot of us are living at working out of home,
and we have new coworkers at k our family and pets. Well,
this one cat is upset that her owner is home constantly.
Now our cat does not like the fact that we're
all home qarantined. She's like, why are you in my house? Sorry? Okay,

(01:33:16):
love that, Okay, I'm working on more stuff please, I'm
working on my kitchen right now. All right? Well, thank you, Garrett,
Thank you, and God bless you. You're a good American Garrett. Everyone,
do I sound like Darth Vader again? Now? You sound great? No?

(01:33:37):
Now you go Okay, Well, here's the thing I'm driving
in the dark without lights on right now because my
computer went down. So if I have to reset it,
I don't know how to reset it. So if I
go down again, I'm down for the count. You guys
have to finish the show. I don't know. Let's get
into uh Danielle's report, Danielle Lie from your basement. Yes,

(01:33:59):
here I go. Well, I don't know. If you saw
the star studded cover of John Legends, imagine Gal Gadote
from Wonder Woman. She actually assembled a lot of Hollywood's
big wigs, Natalie Portman, Will Farrell, Amy Adams, they all
got together and they were singing different lines for this
viral track. It's a viral video and it's a little

(01:34:19):
cringe worthy worthy. I know they meant well, but a
lot of people are complaining a lot of people are
saying that a load of millionaire singers and actors saying,
imagine no possessions is not what I need at a
fifty five am. That's what people are saying on Twitter,
and they're saying, sending out this video, why don't you
just donate money, That's what they're saying. So, yeah, actually

(01:34:41):
doing it to spread the word and for people to
donate to charity and stuff like that. But I you know,
you know, I mean, people are just trying to stay occupied,
I think, and do good things while we're at home. Unfortunately,
you know, something work better than others. Okay, let's talk
about what some of the celebrities are saying on social
Conan O'Brien said, my doctor told me no hugging and
no personal contact. Man, I've got the perfect family for

(01:35:04):
the coronavirus. That's what I was saying. Oh uh. Iced
Tea said that people are seriously stressing about not being
able to wipe their ass. He can't believe that we're
still doing this toilet paper thing, the toilet paper thing,
Iced Tea can't believe we're still doing the toilet paper thing, Elvis,
that we're using toilet paper or just trying to buy it,

(01:35:25):
but both not being able to wipe your ass. But
you can't buy it. You can't wipe your gass. Honestly,
is anyone on the show had a problem finding at
least one or two squares to wipe their butt with? No, no, no, no, okay,
it's not in the it's not in any of the
stores near me. I had to have GONDI get it
for me. Oh. I went to CVS yesterday and they
had a you know, only one per customer, and I

(01:35:46):
got a I got a six pack, not on my stomach,
but of toilet paper. Fabulous more I did. So we
are going to have to wait a little bit longer
for our friends reunion. You knew that was gonna happen.
It was supposed to film March twenty third and twenty
fourth at the Warner Brothers studio in LA. That is
not happening, So we're gonna have to wait for that. Um,

(01:36:07):
the Beastie Boy fans, you're gonna have to wait a
little bit more for your documentary that has been postponed.
I'm sorry. The movie won't hit Imax theaters on April
third as planned, so you're gonna have to wait for that.
And if you want to know what to watch on Netflix,
I'll give you the top five things that people are watching.
Boss Baby Back in Business. That's season three. That's actually
a cartoon. I know a lot of kids are watching that.

(01:36:30):
Spencer Confidential. That's the movie with Mark Wahlberg and post Malone.
It's getting mixed reviews. Some people love it, some people
don't love it. Love is blind. That's with Nick and
Vanessa Lasche on my Block, the season three finale there
and All American the season premiere of There. That is
the number one thing that people are watching, so you
may want to check it out. Thank you, daniel Live

(01:36:50):
from the basement. Text messages, Hello lady, I'm a nurse
on my way to take care of my residence and
my assistant living buildings. Shout out to you guys for
keeping keeping me sane. Oh my god, if this is
keeping some one saying really, here's another text that says,
I agree with Gandhi. All right, doesn't matter what Gandhi said,
but we all agree with her. Danielle's laugh is making
me laugh so much harder. Love you guys. You're having

(01:37:12):
the best show today. For some reason, I had two
rolls of toilet paper in the back of my car,
so I gave them to a co worker. If that
was sweet of you, you may regret that. But anyway,
if you want to text us of the texts are
rolling in. It's a great way to keep in touch
and just let us know how you're feeling. Feeling. Text
us at fifty five one hundred, all right, let's get
into the three things you need to know from Gandhi's
living room. What's going on. A lot of stuff is

(01:37:35):
going on. A second member of Congress has tested positive
for COVID nineteen. This is after a Florida congressman tested
positive yesterday. The other congressman is from Utah. Now both
of them have been quarantined, and they are urging everybody
please please listen to the experts, and that means social
distancing is important. Stay away from large crowds if you
can do it, Stay in your homes if you can

(01:37:56):
do it. Make sure you're washing your hands, washing surfaces,
because we've talked about there is not a cure. There
may be a vaccine in the future, but our best
chance of fighting it is to stay away from each
other and to wash our hands. Now, if you think
you are immune to it because of your age, you
are wrong, because new info out shows that forty percent
of people hospitalized are between the ages of twenty and
fifty four. So, as we said, take it seriously. It

(01:38:18):
does not discriminate based on age. To all of my
grocery hoarders, you guys better use all your stuff because
you're not going to be able to return it if
some states have their way. Certain states are working on
legislation to make it illegal to return your hoarded groceries,
anything that you bought in a panic, even if you
didn't buy it in a panic, they're not wanting people
to bring that back. Now. This is because the virus
can remain viable for hours and days on surfaces. So

(01:38:41):
if you are returning something that was in your home
and you've been exposed to it, you could be spreading
the virus and they want that to stop. I know
Scotty Be told us that's already happened in his area,
and the Senate is actually going to vote on it today.
And how about some good news. There's good news coming
out of Wuhan, China right now. That is where we
know the virus originated and it was hit really hard.

(01:39:01):
Well yesterday they reported it was the first day that
they had not had one new case. So we're looking
at that as a good sign, and we know that
they are already on the other side of this, and
a big part of that is because again, social distancing
is really going to help us. And those are your
three things, and I'm glad you said that as your
last point. People are asking why we're not together. Well,
social distancing is what we all need to be doing.

(01:39:24):
People are wondering if we're quarantining right now because of
health reasons. Well, yeah, I think everyone who's quarantining is
doing it for health reasons. Were we asked to or
forced to? No, this is all voluntary. People are wondering
why I'm at the farm and Alex isn't here. Well,
he also has a zoo to take care of, and
he has other responsibilities. I'm hoping I see him this weekend.

(01:39:44):
People are asking if I'm watching a lot of gay
porn at home. No, I'm not even horny. I could
fold you some links if you want. No, No, thank you, scary.
The only thing I think about putting in my mouth
is like a meat loaf for a hot dog or
something I just would hoast. Yeah, I think for that,

(01:40:07):
I know I'm not gonna. I can't eat it. Sex
and eating just don't mix with me. I just can't
unless it's gream. What are you eating, Froggy, I'm marshmallow. Okay,
I'm Marsha for health. It's weird. Marshmallows pure sugar. That
sounds awesome. It is all right, let's take a break.
But I do know that the king of the marshmallows, Froggy,

(01:40:29):
has food news coming up right after this. I can't wait.
Are you feeling saucy today, Danielle? Does anyone know this
man Froggy? Now? I understand why the wild eat. They're young, Gandhi.
If you see something, say something. Starting your day blood
listening to you guys every day show bring out your

(01:40:51):
beauty with suncare inspired by Hawaii. Hey, it's gandy and
Hawaiian Tropic Sunscreen has perfected a light, non greasy formula
that's great for your daily beauty. Rich You know that
sun protection daily is essential, so stock up today, available
at Amazons. You're a dumb assning show. I don't know.

(01:41:12):
We're about to get into food news and Leslie we
should be talking about because we're all feating our faces
right now. I'm eating pie, What are you? What are
you guys eating? Froggy's eating a marshmallow. I'm going with
those and it sounds delicious, by the way. From all right, first, Tina. Tina,
who works as an Amazon delivery driver, is online twenty

(01:41:33):
four Oh my gosh, let's check in with Tina. You
are royalty to us. Do you know that? I do?
You know? You know the power? Now? So from your
Amazon delivery driving perspective, how are you doing? What's the latest?
What is something we need to know that we probably
don't know? Um? Oh gosh, I don't know. I know

(01:41:57):
that every day I go out with toilet paper and
paper tails. I'm afraid I'm going to get card jacked
or I should say chop jack. Right. Oh wow, yeah,
because that stuff is it's it's worth its weight in gold.
And even way that it is worth it is weight
of gold. I have more gold in my back. Chuck
of toilet paper. Oh, I don't tell everyone where you

(01:42:17):
are because that could be very dangerous. Didn't it crazy
how toilet paper has become such a commodity? I know? Now?
What about what we're hearing about? You know these cardboard
boxes that the virus can actually live on them for
a while. I mean, how are you protecting protecting yourself, Tina,
because you're very important to us. Well, we all have
gloves that we wear, but I heard that the cardboard

(01:42:38):
and the plastic doesn't last that long. But I do know,
you know, hand sanitizer we all wear gloves wiping down
the trucks every day. Well, and we'll keep doing it
and just keep just keep in mind that, you know, Tina,
We've had deep respect for everyone at Amazon for so
long and now even more so because I mean, you

(01:42:59):
are keeping us connected to the things we need, especially
if we need to be distancing ourselves from going out.
Thank you very much for being there, and we can't
say thank you enough and be careful. Yeah, that way
everybody keeps delivering. I just want to let you guys
know I am sitting here laughing because you guys are
doing such a great job and for people that are
on the road by ourselves all the time, we are

(01:43:21):
enjoying your show. Oh you're never by yourself when you
have us on. Hello, We're here for you, Tina. I
know that's what I'm saying. I love it. I feel
like I'm right with you guys. So let me ask
you a question, to be honest, are you laughing harder
at the stuff where we're trying to be funny or
are you laughing at the stuff where everything just melts
down and nothing works and technically we're a big mess.

(01:43:45):
I'm laughing at all of you guys, because you're making
everything feel better because I feel like right now in
the world, it's just kind of like everyone's kind of
at a law. We don't know if we want to
be happier, we don't know if we want to be sad,
we don't know if we want to believe what's going on.
So just the last three hours, I'm just like, forget
about what's going on. And last why Elvis loses his microphone.

(01:44:09):
Thank you, I'm losing it, Tina. Thank you. Be safe
and stay in touch with us. Okay, feel free to
text us any time you want. All right, Elvis, I
read your book. I loved it. Oh, thank you, thank
you very much. There's actually something in that book where
I talk about, you know, what we do for living
in our need to connect and that's why we're in

(01:44:30):
radio because we need to connect with people. And then
when we found out there was a chance we could
not go on and connect today, I felt like someone
had kicked me in the balls. I was in so
much pain and hated. We're so so happy that we
have some smart people working to keep you. So glad
you guys did that because searching around the radio looking
for something to listen to, even though I listen to
you guys all morning, there's nothing else to listen to,

(01:44:52):
and you guys are just so fun. Oh thank you,
we love you. Call us every day, Tina, to be safe,
all right, take care, all right, bye bye. Speaking of
hitting the motherload, because Amazon gives us the mother load
every day, our friend Glenn from Virgil's Barbecue and Carmines,
I'm hearing he dropped off a lot of food for

(01:45:12):
all of our radio stations and everyone working at our studios.
In fact, Virgils and Carmines uptown in New York City
is wide open for takeout and delivery, and just like
other restaurants in town, they've had to lay off a
lot of people. A lot of people are on standby
with Carmines and Virgils, but there are people working to
keep you fed. So wherever you are, what town you're in,

(01:45:33):
seek out the people who are delivering food or have takeouts,
they have curb service. Keep them in business because they
are important people to us. All What are you eating? Scary? Well,
I haven't gotten to go out there yet, but it
looks like a Nate. Nate's got a big bet. Oh yeah,
what do you eat? I got the motherload. I got
two and a half meatballs. I got some chicken parm

(01:45:56):
assemble yourself, some penny all the vodka I cannot get home.
All thank you in our family. You consider Glenn and
everyone at Virgil and Carmines our family. Thank you so much,
and do support anyone and everyone who is still open
for business in any way they can be all right
into food news. Come on, let's do it, Froggy. We're
ready for right now. Well, it is almost Easter time

(01:46:24):
and Peeps has just launched five new flavors for Eastern
twenty twenty. Your new flavors you're getting this year. I
know Daniel has already tried them. So here they are
root Beer Flavors, Float Peeps, Hot Chocolate Pudding, Peepsloot Peeps
and rest there. I didn't try to right, Okay, so

(01:46:46):
that you got new Peeps for Easter, Elvis, I know
you love the suvied egg bites that they have at
Starbucks every single morning. Well I love Suvied egg bites.
Well guess what now you can get them at your
local is it Aldie grocery store? Aldi Is restop? Yeah,
all you can get two of them. They come in
little packs. They're really good. They're nice. They come in

(01:47:06):
different flavors. But you know what, get them right now.
While they last they were sold out, but now they
are back and they're good. Suvie deg Bites, Elvis loves them.
You will love them as well. By the way, don't
enter your phone. That was Gandhi checking in again. Sorry, guys,
that's okay, gonna have you here. Back to you, Froggie. So,
as you mentioned, a lot of restaurants are doing takeout

(01:47:27):
and a lot of the delivery services. Well now you
know a lot of dining rooms are closed, but you
can still get the food that you want. A lot
of restaurants doing free delivery. Chipotle for the month of March,
delivery is free with a ten dollars minimum purchase. Door
Dash has waived their delivery fee for one month, and
KFC is doing it through April twenty sixth free delivery

(01:47:47):
with a minimum purchase of twelve dollars through the website
or through grub Hub and Seamless and Uber Eats as well.
Free food delivery. They're taking it so you can get
food without paying the delivery fees during this time. Do
you have a countdown for us. Yes, you're going to
the store. You want to know what to five? You
have the top five items being sold right now during
your coronavirus craze. You're ready. Number five canned soup in

(01:48:15):
the shelves. Yes, no, every day. Next, crackers and rice
cakes at number four, rice cakes number three. Rice and
grains are number three, grains, rice two. You're gonna love these.

(01:48:37):
Number two canned beans are flying off the show. Oh yeah,
I know everyone. You know what protein and fiber. You
have so many delicious reasons to eat your canned beans.
Back to you, bean. And the number one thing flying
off the shells to keep in your pantry during coronavirus
are nut butters, nut butternut butters, A good nut butter butter.

(01:49:01):
Oh god, so healthy, all of those things, and mix
them up with some grains and some nut butters. I
would just being so happy like butter. It's it's scariest
as cashoe. You shouldn't say that during the coronavirus anyway.

(01:49:22):
Thank you again to carmines and virgils and our friend Glenn,
and you know, cheap bastard Brodie's at home. He's so mad.
He's not here with his his to go take out
plates right. Anyway, we gotta take a break. We'll be
back after this, I think before the morning show. El

(01:49:50):
in the morning show, A lot of people check it
in thanking us for being on the air today. It's
great being here. It's our honor to be here. As
a matter of fact, I feel like we would all
suffocate and not be able to breathe if we could
not be here to do this show. So not only
do we need each other like you need your family
and friends, but we all we need to be doing
what we're doing as you were doing what you're doing.

(01:50:11):
Social distancing. Don't let that phrase go by without thinking
it through. We're actually seeing some things in our own backyard,
in our own family. Here a lot of problems because
people are not separating when they should be separating. If
a family member is ill, or if you're not feeling well,
you've got to pull back. I know you don't want to,
and you're afraid of being alone with yourself or alone

(01:50:31):
with your thoughts. You have no choice. You owe it
to yourself and everyone you love to make sure you
do the right thing. So that's why we're having a
crap show today. From let's see Danielle's in her basement.
Froggy's in his guest bedroom. Look, he's lounging on the bed.
And there is a scary at light FM studios and yeah,
I can see your junk. Froggy put that away. There's

(01:50:52):
Gandhi in her living room a seriously, And I'm at
my farm all by myself. And I tell you, once
this show's over, I'll be alone with my thoughts once again.
And I'm you know, I'm hoping we all figure out
how to do this, because this is something new to
all of us, right and everyone listening to. If somebody
get your house is sick, that means you could presumptively

(01:51:14):
be sick too. So do not go to work, and
don't be around other people. If you've been around somebody
who's sick, you have to assume that you are now
a carrier. Yeah, exactly. Do not go in or go
in near anyone else, because keep in mind that will
prevent you or them from seeing someone in an emergency.
And that's you just don't want to do that. Don't

(01:51:35):
be responsible for that. I have to tell you something
for yourself, you roll the dice for everybody around you.
Everybody that you come in contact with, and don't make
that decision for everyone because you don't know their health
situation and you don't know what's going on in their
lives and the people that they have to take care
of who they won't be able to take care of. Yeah,
and don't say stupid things on text messages. Someone just

(01:51:56):
said to me using the term suffocating not being able
to breathe this bad voice when there's a respiratory pandemic,
and then they call me a goofball. Hey, you know what,
I don't want you listening to our show. I'm gonna
lose my crap on you. I'm blocking you, but I
want you to turn our show off. Knowing that you
and someone like you is listening makes me sick to
my stomach. Goodbye. All right? What else I'm so that

(01:52:19):
like the word ridiculous, Yeah, there is, This is no
time for you to be a smartass with me. You know,
I'm we're up here, we got we've got our own
stuff to deal with. Don't don't start, don't you dare
so a second ago I went to use the bathroom.
And sometimes don't laugh at me, and I'm telling you
something really personal. Sometimes when I go to use the bathroom,

(01:52:39):
I sit down to use the bathroom, even though I
don't have to, because you know, God gave me equipment
to make me stand. But what I'll do is while
I'm sitting, I'll actually think about what do I need
to talk to the universe and God about? And I
called it. I called it pep praying. Is anyone else
doing this? Gandhi? Reset? Do you guys? Ever? Because knowing

(01:53:00):
that when you're on the toilet, it's your When you're
on the toilet, it's your only time to have a
loan with you and your God, and so you take
advantage of it. So I was just after some news
we got about a co worker. I just went, I did,
I did some peepee praying and this toilet I don't
know where we got this toilet, but the water level
is too high, and I was like, like in the

(01:53:21):
cold water. I'm dipping in the cold water, and I'm like,
I can't do this. We got in the middle of
of of my private moment. So but anyway, so I
pulled up and I got out. So I stood there
at the sink and I was looking at myself in
the mirror, thinking, Okay, first of all, this is too
much information from my co workers and listeners. No, I'm

(01:53:42):
not gonna hold back. This is no time to hold back.
But when you have your moments, when you have your
your time alone. It may only be when you have
the bathroom to yourself. Use that to pray to the
universe and pray to God. And thanks first of all
for the abundance we have every day and all the
great things that are happening for us. Because when these

(01:54:02):
clouds are flying over sometimes it's hard to see because
there's not enough sunshine. Because sometimes we are suffocating because
we are there's so much bad stuff going on. Don't
forget the great stuff. You owe it to yourself to
don't forget about the great stuff, even if your scrotum
is dipping in cold toilet water. Off. I did, okay,

(01:54:25):
And then I looked down and my toilet paper roll
was empty. I'm like, oh god, I'm down one boy.
And anyway, how you guys doing on toilet paper? You're good? Yeah, yeah, kids,
I'm good. What Daniel, do you see online? There's like
this thing with soccer people. They're doing like the soccer

(01:54:47):
challenge now on TikTok where you're you're kicking the toilet
paper around like a soccer ball, trying to balance it
on your foot. So this is all happening in my house,
and I'm like, you, you don't do that. We don't
have enough toilet paper. Put the toilet don't do it.
I'm running around the house screaming and everybody to leave
the toilet paper alone and don't play with it. It's
not a toy. Yeah, you notice you're using you less

(01:55:09):
toilet paper when you do use it, like you notice, oh,
absolutely rationing it. But I gotta be honest, Daniel, if
I was in your house, I would use even less
toilet paper because it has like it has sneaker marks
on it. It's like, what's true. I have a lot
of girlfriends right now who will not hang out of
their boyfriend's houses and won't sleep over because guys and
girls use toilet paper very differently. So guys are like, oh,

(01:55:31):
I'm stucked. I got six rolls. I'm fine. Girls are like, oh,
hell no, I'm not getting stuck somewhere with you and
your six rolls of toilet paper. I'm gonna go ahead
and stay home, or you could come over here. Yeah,
ruining relationships. Is funny. How toilet papers actually governing government,
government governing our life. I don't evenly I a governor.
Whatever toilet paper put it on a pedestal. Worship it

(01:55:54):
all right, Let's get into the three things we need
to know. Gandhi's keeping an eye on the stories are
changing like everything feen minutes. How do you keep up, Gandhi?
What's going on? There's a lot going on. Let's start
with a local state of emergency in place right now
in Magna, Utah. There was a big earthquake five point
seven magnitude to hit around six am. Caused extensive damage
to buildings and has displaced families. The epicenter was just

(01:56:16):
outside of a suburb of Salt Lake City, so they
have reported nearly sixty aftershocks still rattling that area. No
reports of injuries, but we will keep our eye on
that one. President Trump has signed a multibillion dollar coronavirus
aid package. It's going to include provisions for all kinds
of things, free diagnostic testing, paid leave benefits, on employment benefits.
And I'm sure a lot of people have heard about

(01:56:37):
these stimulus checks. It's not official just yet, but if
it goes through They will be in the mail within
less than a month, and reports are initially saying that
the plan will provide two payments of one thousand dollars
each to a lot of but not all Americans. And
as we've been saying, the most important part of all
of this right now is social distancing, washing your hands,

(01:56:57):
keeping things clean, because that's the only thing we have
right now to fight against this. There is not a cure,
and we don't have any vaccines yet, so we have
to do our part, and that is by staying away
from people and washing hands, we're going to help to
cut this down as much as we possibly can. And
since we've been talking about toilet paper, let's talk about
the importance of only using toilet paper in your toilet.

(01:57:17):
Plumbers say that they are starting to freak out because
people think that baby wipes and tissues and paper towels
are acceptable methods for wiping. They're saying they're not, and
if you're going to use that kind of stuff, throw
it in the trash because they are built differently than
toilet paper, they actually clump, and the clumping is going
to cause your drains to clog, and then the plumbers
are going to be maxed out, and they don't want

(01:57:38):
to go into places they don't have to go into either.
Right now, Another fun little public service announcement are Stylist
to the Stars Deno with the pink hair. She is
begging people who go to stylists for coloring not to
use box dye because it's gonna make her life and
your hair's life a lot harder. Those are your pup.
Soon we're going to see everyone's natural colors and it's okay,

(01:57:59):
let it shine through. Let's take a break. We'll be
back after this. This is Iana Gan. Hey, what's apostology?
What's up? Guys? I'm with Elvis Duran Alvis dan in
the morning so sponsored by State Farm. Talk to an
agent today about combining your home and auto insurance at
one eight hundred State Farm or by visiting state Farm
dot com. Lvis, Elvis durand the Elvis durand phone tap

(01:58:21):
All right, David Brody, what's your phone tap all about? Today?
Elvis Carol wanted us to phone tap her boyfriend Dustin.
They've only been dating a couple of months and apparently
he's supposed to meet her father soon and he's very
nervous about it. So I call this her overprotective dad
who just wants to make sure his baby girl is happy.
Oh boy, this is gonna get dirty. Yeah all right,

(01:58:42):
let's listen. In Brody's phone tap Hello, Yeah, I'm looking
for Dustin. Hey Dustin, it's Jimmy Carra's dad. How are
you doing? Oh? All right? Nice to finally top you. Yeah, listen,
I know what I know. I haven't dinner next week,
but I wanted to give you a call go over
a couple of things. You know, you've been with my
daughter for a couple of months now, right, right, So

(01:59:04):
what are your intentions? We've been having a great time,
so I want to keep that up. You you and
are sleeping together? Yea? No, have you dust to be
honest with me, have you have you slept with my
daughter yet? No? Not? So it was my daughter attractive
enough for you? No? Not, She's very attractive. That's okay.

(01:59:25):
So let me just get this straight. You want to
make my baby girl happy, right, yeah, of course. So
the things you need to know about Karas she's not
like a lot of girls. She's different. You'd agree with that, right, Yeah, Well, well,
actually she's two of a kind. She's a lot like
her mother. Very difficult woman to please. Took me years
to figure out the tricks, you know what I mean.

(01:59:47):
I don't really think we should be having this conversation.
Well listen, I'm not to listen. I'm not talking about
my wife. I'm just saying Carol is like her mom,
you know what I mean, She's like a car. Sometimes
with cars, you gotta like bang the steering wheel and
kick the tire and punch the dashboard, turn the radio up.
Then the cost starts, you know what I mean, some
CAUs you're the hard and start, you know what I mean.
I think I'm kind of getting it all right, right,

(02:00:09):
well kind of getting it. She needs to really get it.
So listen. If you got a pen, I'm gonna give
you some some tipsy. Now. It's just kind of hit
hard to hear this from you. I'm sorry. It's just
a little weird. This whole things a little weird. It
needs to be unwird. If you want to make my
daughter happy. We wanna make my daughter happy, right, you're
not gonna break my door's all right? No, no, no, no,
of course, yeah, I have a pen. Okay, okay, my listen,
my baby girl likes to be bent over a tub.

(02:00:30):
You got a tub. It's just like a normal thing.
Oh whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I didn't mean that. No, sorry, you want to make
my baby girl happy, you're not. Maybe you're not the
right guy far to do. It's just this is okay, okay,
I don't mean they disrespect. Okay, listen, Yeah, you do
know how to do an Eiffel tower like well, write
that down. She loves a good Eiffel tower. Oh, oh,

(02:00:52):
very important. By the third or fourth time that you're
with our she likes the Cranberry sauce with an M.
The cranberry, it's this thing. Yeah. She loves her driver crazy.
Do you are the cello fellow? All right, Yeah, you're
gonna need an empty three player and a wave machine.
Just ride a town, my listen, listen, all right, you

(02:01:14):
know what on the first the first time you guys
are intimate, definitely do the flying V all right, the
Peter Piper, that's the Peter Piper. Her her Okay, are
you working with me? Yeah, and you're gonna need to
pull a Pittsburgh Penguin on her. At some point. But
what does that mean. That's what the internet's for. Son. Okay,

(02:01:35):
you're gonna need a friend. I need all this. Listen.
If I had someone like me helping me out twenty
seven years ago with her mom, Listen, it was like
seven years where like boom, she couldn't have the big Oh.
I didn't know what that was going on. That was
like flying v boom all of a sudden, whoa, it's
rocking her world. The bets shaking Pittsburgh Penguin. Forget about
it now. She cooks dinner for me every night, just

(02:01:55):
hoping they get the Pittsburgh Penguin. Are you kidding me?
You'll be thanking me? Okay, can you touch your toes?
That's what it is, Okay, because you're gonna need to
do the Williamsburg wheelbarrow with her Williams wheel. Yeah, but
you'll need to get a couple of drinks in her first.
The rest. I'm very sorry, It's just this is all
shock to me. That's all all right, well, listen speak
in a shock. She loves the shocker. Definitely do that. Okay,

(02:02:19):
all right, thank you, hey, Dustin, this is Dave Brodie
Melosh in the Morning show with phone tapping you. Oh
my god. Oh was the Horners life? Oh my god,
go fast. That was just awful, good gosh. I can't

(02:02:45):
imagine staying on the phone. I'd be like, I'm sorry, what,
Oh my gosh. David Brody V It's scary Jones. The
Titans of Baking are back on Food Network. Buddy the

(02:03:06):
Last Joe and Duff Golden push each other to create
the best cakes of their careers in this epic battle
for baking domination. Buddy Versus Duff two is back with
an all new episode this Sunday at nine eighth Central
on Food Network

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Elvis Duran and the Morning Show ON DEMAND News

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Elvis Duran

Danielle Monaro

Skeery Jones

Froggy

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Medha Gandhi

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