In Scream, No One Can Hear You Space

This week Jonathan and Ariel talk about the best of the worst horror movies, monsters they wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley, and put a little Scream into their Star Wars.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:07):
The Large Nerd Drunk Lighter podcast is a production of
I Heart Radio. Hi everybody, Welcome to The Large Nerd
Drunk Lighter, the podcast that's all about the geeky things
happening in the world around us and how very excited
we are about them. I'm aerial casting and with me

(00:29):
as always is Jonathan Stribling. I tried to come up
with something creepy, but everything seemed to mean. I was
gonna go with candy this time, like because instead of
going with the horror thing. But then I candy corn
Jonathan Strict. Let's see, the phrase that first popped into
my head was good in plenty and I was like, no, no,

(00:50):
that's not candy Corny. Katy corny is better than good
in plenty. I mean, I have gained a lot of
weight in the sure Daddy also not great? Right, sugar
Daddy also not great? Sweet tart? Okay, Well, now you're
making judgments about my own, like Jonathan Mike and I
got so many names. Yeah, I guess lick aid also

(01:14):
not great. Yeah, there's yeah. And then he turns out
those candy nicknames they're just not for me. Well, how
are you, Ariel, I'm doing great. I'm actually a little
bit hyped up on Halloween candy right now. We bought
some Nerds candy corn at Target the other day. I
think I just got sick in my head fourteen times
in a row. It's like candy corn shaped jelly beans

(01:39):
that are tart. They taste like Nerd jelly beans, but
they're shaped like candy corn. That's that's really everything you're
saying is filling me with horror. But you know what
I shouldn't have asked instead, I should have asked this
question because I've got a question for you. All Right,

(02:00):
we're closing out the spooky season, which I know is
very sad news for some of our listeners some of
our friends too, because they love the spooky season so much.
So my final spooky question for you for for this
season is what's a horror movie monster or character you
would hate to encounter? Ah? And why? Probably a mummy

(02:29):
or zombie. And the reason why is because they always
have like bugs associated with them. And while when I
was a child I loved bugs, for some reason, that
love has turned into hate as an adult um and
they creep me out fair enough. So. Also, like there's
this really old science fiction movie about these giant praying mantis.

(02:51):
Is them them? Yes? Uh so I would not want
to encounter them either. Just I had a pragmatics attack
me the other day and it just gave me horrible flashbacks.
He had rescued it from my cats, and I think
it was gaining vengeance on them by presumably it was
not a giant one. No, it was a little brown one,

(03:13):
but big enough, big enough to scare the snookers out
of me. What about you, Jonathan? I would say that
Michael Myers the the monstrous slasher killer in the Halloween
series because, as the series shows us, Michael Myers is
essentially a force of evil. He doesn't have any motivation

(03:35):
beyond killing people. That's it. Like, there's no way to
reason with him. Uh, there's apparently no way to kill
him because he keeps coming back. You can't really outrun
him because he's one of those horror movies. Like there's
that great I don't know if you've seen it, but
the great video of a couple of people showing how
uh movie slashers like Michael Myers are able to sneak

(03:57):
up on people and keep up with them even as
they run awa and every time the camera pans off,
they're just hauling tail as fast as they can down
the road and then like gasping for breath and then
bringing it together just as the victim comes around the corner. Um.
But yeah, Michael Myers, and a close second would be
Mike Myers, the star of the Austin Powers movies. Um,

(04:21):
because he uses the same three jokes in all of
his movies. And that's terrifying to me. You know, that's
super interesting to me because when you said monsters, I well,
I certainly think like Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger or
Candyman or or you know, leather Face or whomever, are
all certainly monstrous. Like my brain went, those are people.

(04:43):
They're just really horrible people, and a lot of them
have supernatural forces too. But my brain was like, I
can't count them. That's that's that's fair. I did say,
I did say character, but I kind of snug it
in after monster because I said monster character. It's just
interesting because we're gonna open all of that up. Then, yeah,
like all of them, all of them, is my answer.

(05:04):
I mean, that's fair. But yeah, it was more like,
let's let's name one and explain the reasoning. But we're
going to now segue into some news for this week.
We've got a few stories. We actually had a lot
of stories, but we we narrowed it down and one
of the pieces of news we have is Star Wars related,
which is that we have learned that, um that Anakin

(05:28):
is coming on back for the Asoka series. And by
Anakin he means hidden Christians in because there are a
couple of Anakins in the series. Um, yeah, not not
what's his face, the little kid? Not the little kid, no,
the older one. Yeah. He we knew he was going
to be an Obi Wan, but now he's going to
be in Soka's well, uh, I probably must pronounced that.

(05:51):
I still don't know how to say her name. Um,
But yeah, we don't know in what form he's going
to be coming back slash film. Slash film is like,
maybe he'll be there as Anakin because yeah, timelines are weird. Well,
it's because the series we assume is going to be
set in fact, we know it's going to be set

(06:12):
around the same time as the Mandalorian because we had
her show up in the Mandalorian that is set after
the events of Return of the Jedi where spoiler alert
if you haven't watched a movie that came out in like, uh,
Darth Vader is dead by the ind of Return of
the Jedi, So presumably Anakin would be toast Um. And

(06:34):
so the idea is that, you know, he might be
a Force ghost, or it might be that we see
flashbacks to her past and that's when we get, you know,
get some Christians in the action in there. I don't know.
I was about to say, if you were a Force user,
once you're dead, that's not the end of it. You
always come back as a Force ghost, unless you're unless

(06:56):
you're quite gon Gin, unless you're a quiet gon Chin.
Although he might have come back in the last movie,
I don't know because I still haven't haven't seen it,
So there's spoiler for anybody who hasn't seen the last one.
There's like a montage of voices, and I believe his
voice is one of them. Yeah, so that's as close
as we get to a Jedi ghost version of Quigan. Yeah, yeah,

(07:19):
you don't get to see one anyhow. I know that
that story might be a little scary for some people
who did not like the prequels, like Jonathan, but we
have another story that might also be a little scary,
which is that Sony has added to mystery Marvel movies
to its Q. Yes, and these do not include the

(07:39):
ones that have already been announced like Craven the Hunter
and more Bus which I forgot about, which I also
forgot about Morbus. Morbius was the one who they've already
introduced more Bus and we've got a trailer. Yeah, well
he and he was kind of alluded to in a
previous Sony movie. But yeah, so we don't know what
these are. Maybe they will be Sony centric spider Man films,

(08:03):
maybe they'll be more Venom films. Probably at least one
will be a Venom film, because Venom has proven that
they can go that route and not have to worry
about dealing with Marvel because Sony has the rights to
that character right now, so will have to wait and see.
I mean. This also reminds us that, of course, Disney

(08:24):
still has some unannounced Marvel titles, like they have placeholders
for Marvel films that have not been announced officially. We
assume one of them is Fantastic four. They have hinted
at that, but we have not had confirmation. So yeah,
it looks like they We're not. We're not gonna be
running short on Marvel content anytime soon. No. I wonder

(08:48):
if one of the new ones for Sony is black Cat,
because I know that they had been talking about her
a while ago pre pandemic. I believe maybe giving her
her own standalone. I mean, if it's done well, I'm
more than happy to check it out. Like I've liked
the Spider Man films, and those have been Sony films.
I mean, they've had collaboration with Marvel. But you know

(09:12):
that I liked the first Venom. I still haven't. I
still haven't seen it. That's just one of those things
where I was like, it didn't grab me, none of
the I've never liked the character Venom ever, Like I
remember when the Venom character was introduced in the comics.
I've never liked Venom, so that was part of it.

(09:32):
Is just that I have a bias against Venom, and
as you know, the quality of the movie could be fantastic.
I just don't care about the character. So that's why
I never bothered to see it. Well, do you care
about the DC character Firefly? I did not know that
such a character existed until we decided to cover this story.

(09:52):
So Brendan Fraser is going to play Firefly in the
HBO Max That Girl movie, which we talked about think
last week or the week before, one of those two
whenever you're talking about fandom. We touched on it briefly. So, yeah,
so he's a pyromaniac and he's a criminal. I was
about to say, like his his superpower is Arson, Yes,

(10:14):
and according to the Mary Sue, he's not been on
the big screen. However, he was an Arrow. I remember
when that character showed up. An Arrow. Arrow is surprisingly
introduced me to a lot more DC villains than I
had previously had in my like mental rolodex. Yeah, well,
when it comes to DC villains, I mostly know Batman's
Rogues Gallery and that's about it. And and Batman's rogues

(10:38):
Gallery runs deep, y'all. Like you've got the ones that
everyone knows, right, Penguin, Redlerve Joker, obviously, the Catwoman. These
are all like the ones that everyone knows because they've
been used not just in the comics but in other
media versions of Batman. But then you start getting into
some of the stuff where I guess more re audiences

(11:00):
are more familiar with them because they've shown up in
video games and stuff. So like calendar Man and Zazz
and characters like that, those have come up a little
bit more frequently, and because they are in other forms
of media besides the comic books, people are familiar with them.
But I had never heard of Firefly before seeing this story.

(11:21):
I am mostly see it's a story about space cowboys. No, right,
Brendan Fraser leaf on the wind. Watch how he soars.
You know he's gonna die. They kill their DC villains
all the time. But I will say that I am
excited to see Brendan Frasier playing a villain that I

(11:41):
think will be interesting. I mean, he plays he plays
robot Man, who's like an anti hero. Yeah, he's not
so much a villain as he is kind of a
selfish not always selfish, but frequently a selfish jerk. Yeah,
but I don't think he's not really a villain. That
he's anti heroes probably a better way of describing him.

(12:04):
He's heavily flawed, but but he's not like outright, you know,
trying to wreak havoc and so mayhem and stuff. But yeah,
I'm excited to see it because I think it'll be
interesting to see, especially an actor who is as beloved
as Brendan Fraser. You know, his his his sort of

(12:25):
career renaissance has come with it an incredible groundswell of
fans support. It'll be interesting to see him play a
bad guy. Yes, I agree, I am. I am one
of those fans. I really like Brendan Fraser. I think
he's a great actor, and he seems like a nice dude.
I've not met him, but he seems like he's a
nice dude. So we have one more story you want
to briefly touch Sean before break, which is that Dune

(12:47):
came out. It's doing really well in the theaters, and
they've announced a sequel, uh for tentatively October, which is
good because as I understand it, and I have yet
to see dude, I know you've seen it, arial but
I haven't seen it yet. As I understand it, the
current movie ends midway through the first book, and I've

(13:11):
heard it described as a fairly abrupt ending. I don't
know if that's the case. So, like, I'm trying to
figure out how to say this without like giving spoilers
to anybody. First of all, you know if you have
not read Dune or watched the previous um mini series,

(13:31):
I will say that the first like third of the
New Dude movie is going to be hard to follow.
They do eventually tie up all of the little strings
they put forward, but it's going to take a bit
for you to make sense of everything because it's a
slow noir movie moving kind of feel to it. But
that being said, the yeah, it it's interesting because I

(13:53):
felt like it was an abrupt stop in the movie.
I've came out of Dune. First of all. I loved
it because but I like the book, and it's a fairly,
fairly truthful adaptation of it. It ends at a place
in the book where kind of the focus on the
characters changes. So like, my husband's reading through Dune and
he stopped right about the place where this movie stops
because he said, maybe ten pages later, because he's like,

(14:16):
it feels like the story has just changed focus entirely
and it's all about all these new characters. So from
that aspect from somebody who's not a long standing fan
of Dune, you know, maybe it's a good stopping place.
But that being said, I didn't feel like there was
a good tie up to the end of the story.
It was just kind of the characters walking off into

(14:36):
the sunset at that point. I don't think that spoils
too much. And yeah is for me, it's fine because
I'm familiar with the story, and I'll go watch the
second half and I'll probably watch the first half again
before watching the second half. But for people who are
newer to Doune or not like as it's not as
ingrained in their memory, like that is a long time

(14:59):
to wait for a story that was only half a story, yeah,
and didn't even leave you on a cliffhanger like it's
Maybe sometime we'll have to have a conversation about the
different approaches to sequels, like sequels that are almost like
an episodic kind of sequel, where like the Indiana Jones movies,

(15:20):
each of the Indiana Jones movies is a standalone film,
and while they might reference things from previous films, it's
not a continuation of the story. So you don't have
to have seen any of the others to see any
individual one and enjoy it, except for Crystal Skull, which
is terrible, but then same with James Bond. For the
most part, I mean there are also some things that
connect various James Bond films together, but mostly they're independent.

(15:43):
And then you get things like Back to the Future
two and Back to the Future three, which directly tied
to one another um and in those cases it's pretty
common for or like the Lord of the Rings movies.
In those cases, it's common for studios to go in
all all in and just make both at the same time,

(16:04):
and then that way there you know one can be
released while the other one is still in post production.
But then you have like a year separating the two,
not two years. So this is a long time to
wait to find out what happens at the rest of
the story. Leaving the theater, I'm like, I understand why
it's been a mini series in the past instead of
a movie, because I'm happy to wait till next week.
Two years seems a long time to continue to care

(16:25):
about these characters if I did not already. But they
did warn us at the beginning of the movie. It
starts off with a little subtitle that says Part one,
and unlike the Snyder cut of The Justice League, it
doesn't go through four of those, It just goes through
the one. Otherwise, I enjoyed it, but I like Dune
so excellent. Well, it has a thumbs up from Arial
and a I haven't seen it yet from Jonathan, who

(16:48):
plans on watching it someday. All right, well, we're gonna
go and take a break. When we come back, we're
gonna talk about horror movies and what makes a good
bad horror movie, as well as couple of trailers that
might promise to be kind of a maybe a good
bad horror movie. We'll have to find out, but we'll
be back after this break. So I want to say, Jonathan,

(17:20):
when I looked at our lineup in the stories that
you had added to it, I was like, dang, he
added two horror movie trailers and I'm going to have
to watch them and I'm gonna be so scared. But
it turns out that wasn't the case. They're both, at
least premise le wise, really interesting trailers that I enjoined. Yeah,
the two movies that I added, because the trailers came

(17:44):
out the day we're recording this, which is on Tuesday.
Whereas Black Friday, which is a zombie film set during
Black Friday, the friday after Thanksgiving where all the stores
open up their door busting deals and crowds of people
crowded in to try and get a bargain. In this case,

(18:06):
it's a it's a group of people working in a
toy store and the crowd wanting to barge in turns
into a riot of zombies. Yes, um, that's not a spoiler.
It's in the trailer. The hilarious thing is, I was
watching the beginning of the trailer and I said, man,
this feels a little bit like the reboot of Evil
Dead when they rebooted it on Stars, the TV show

(18:27):
with Bruce Campbell, and then this Campbell shows up. And
then Bruce Campbell shows up, not as his character from
the Evil Dead, not as Ash, but no, he's he's
playing apparently the manager of the store, and he, at
least in the trailer, is coming across a sort of
the gosh, galy ge whiz happy, let's go out there
and sell toys kind of character, almost a little Pollyanna ish. Yeah. Yeah, um,

(18:52):
it's you know, it looks like a funny movie. It
looks like a gory. So I actually didn't look all
that gory from the trailer to me, but this zombie
movie so and it's got Bruce Campbell attached to it,
so I expect there will be gore. Yeah, we already
know one of the characters doesn't make it, because that
was in the trailer to where where they introduced the character,

(19:14):
and a second later in the trailer that character is
a zombie and you're like, well, no mystery about what
happens to the new guy. Um. And then the second
trailer that I added was for a movie called Unwelcome,
which I put in parentheses next to the trailer. A
fairy horror movie as in as in a fairy like

(19:36):
brownies and elves and pixies in this case red cap Yeah.
And the film shows a young couple who have inherited
a manor house in England, and it comes with one
little catch. And the catch isn't the classic. You have
to spend the night, a whole night here, and then

(19:57):
you you're fortunate as yours. No, it's there is a
little door in the garden and um, like, there's a
little door that's in the wall in the garden, and
you are to leave a blood offering every single day
to satiate the red caps that live behind the door,
or else they'll take what is owed to them, and Um.

(20:20):
I was talking to Ariel before the show started about
how I found the trailer a little. Um Like, I
like the premise because I like I like the idea
of you know, the dark stories about fairies. I like
those a lot. I find those really interesting. The trailer
didn't work for me because it felt a little too choppy.

(20:40):
It felt a little too disjointed. Yet I was seeing
the same sort of thing over and over. And also
I found it confusing that you have two different threats
in the movie. As the trailer unfolds, there's the threat
of the locals who all for some reason resent the
young couple, and you have the threat of the Red

(21:00):
Caps themselves. And um, I'm like this one, this this
is something that should appeal to me based on the
subject matter. And it didn't quite work. Yeah, I mean
I like the subject matter as well. So the first
lap I actually played for MPC one of the one
of the creatures boards that would come out. We're Red

(21:23):
caps um and there are a lot of fun to play.
You know. They would go and we'd beat up PCs
and then dip our caps in their blood. Um. I
know it sounds really dark, but we were villains come
on people. Um, yeah, there's Areal the seven foot tall ferry.
I'm not seven foot tall. I'm five ten on a
good day. Well, sometimes I wear heels from lamping, so

(21:43):
I can be a lot tallerant, but I haven't done
that in a while. Um. That being said, I turned
on this trailer after he said fairy. I'm like, okay,
I've got to watch it. Like I've watched Pan's Labyrinth.
That was a good fairy horror. That's amazing. Yes, And
I was like, Okay, this movie instantly has made has
Hannah John came in who was gave a slash the
ghost in ant Man in Wasp, has called Meny who

(22:06):
was O'Brien and O'Brian. Yeah, and then it's got Christian
Naron who was Hodor uh. So instantly just this automatic
like cast of sci fi fantasy, fantasy like I think
hard hitters. And then yeah, it never quite hook got

(22:26):
to the hook quite far enough. It's like they walked
up to the hook of the movie and then stepped away, Um,
instead of just showing you a little bit of that
hook to get you interested in in in seeing. Further
that being said, I thought the locals were probably like,
it made sense to me that the locals were maybe
working for the Red Caps and therefore that's why they

(22:48):
did not like the new couple. But there's a sequence
in there where it seems that the Red Caps are
specifically grabbing one of the locals and dragging him off
into the forest. So I think I think I would
have liked it more if they had focused more on
the Red Caps in the trailer and that the locals thing.
Yet it can unfold in a movie, but in a

(23:10):
trailer where you're you know, you're trying to sell me
on the movie with the trailer this whole purpose, and
this one felt like it. Again, it was a little
too disjointed for me. Now may turn out that the
movie itself is brilliant and it's just a bad trailer
that can happen. Yeah, it was interesting to me because
I expected the like the little glimpses they did give
us of the Red Caps of the villains. I expected

(23:30):
it to be more fantastical, and it felt like a
very like cut and dry, normal intrude or horror movie
whenever they did show us the Red Cap glimpses. Well
before the break, I had alluded to the fact that
we were going to talk about like bad, bad, but
entertaining horror movies. And I'm curious, Ariel, are there any

(23:51):
movies you consider as being not good but entertaining that
are in the horror genre for you? Um? Yes, I
am almost ashamed to say. Well, I've said, like Dylan
Dog Dead of Night, it's not really really a horror signore,
but it's got, you know, monsters in it. Um Dagon Oh,

(24:12):
the HP Lovecraft inspired movie. Yeah, it's not good. D
A g O N. It is a dumb, dumb, bad
movie with mediocre effects. For the record, I want to
say that I actually think of that as a good movie.
But okay, really I do. I do. I well, because

(24:32):
Lovecraft is almost impossible to film because by the nature
of weird fiction, Lovecraft was like he could never describe
anything because it would drive you crazy. So um so
it makes it very hard to film something love crafty
and to get that sort of weird horror since Across

(24:53):
and I thought, considering the constraints on budget and effects
and everything, that that was a pretty admirable attempt. I mean,
I agree with that. It just like when I'm like, oh,
we're watching bad movies. I'm going to make my friends
watch this one because they haven't, and it's always a
crowd pleaser. So that's fair, Like I said, a good

(25:15):
bad movie. Another one, although some people just think this
is good and other people argue that it's not. Horror
is Tremors? See now, first of all, horror, horror, super
scary to mere, Tremors is almost a perfect movie. It
is almost a perfect movie. It is not that I'm

(25:35):
saying that it's the best film ever made, but rather
it sets out to be a certain kind of entertaining
and it succeeds almost ad in that, And so not
saying like it's the best movie ever made, but rather
you can tell what the intent was of the filmmakers
and they attained the goal that they set out to make,

(25:56):
and not every movie does that, Like I'm talking, like
even big budget movies. You can go and you're like, well,
I see what they were going for, but they didn't.
They didn't land it. They didn't stick the landing. Tremors
sticks that landing. So I mean, I would agree with you,
and I was excited when we had the hope of
a Tremor's TV show that we don't anymore, especially when

(26:18):
they released that little clip from it. But I guess,
I guess for me, it's it's you know, is it
a big budget blockbuster horror movie? Those tend to appeal
to me less, maybe because I watched my first ones
when I was like fifth grade and against my parents
better better wishes I did, and like it was. It
was Cannyman and it was Freddy Krueger, and it scared

(26:40):
the snot out of me. And I just I don't
like those big budgets. But like B level horror movies,
there's just enough and and tremors. I don't know if
it counts as a B level horror movie, but there's
just enough kitchiness in it that I can divorce myself
from it enough to enjoy. I mean, it's it's got
some camp in it, and that makes it really fun.

(27:02):
So for me, like one of the movies I thought
of and I actually tried watching it recently, uh, and
it does not hold up and upon rewatching, But as
a kid, I loved it, which was House Too. So
the first House movie is a kind of a straightforward
horror ghost movie. House Too is a horror comedy film

(27:26):
and has no connection whatsoever to the first House. I'm
guessing that maybe they branded it as House two after
the fact. I don't know why they would, because I
don't think House was that big of a hit. But um,
I tried watching it recently and like I said, it
does not hold up well. But it is a pretty
it's a pretty bad movie at the time when I

(27:48):
was a kid who entertained me as an adult. Uh,
it's a cop out to say this, Patrol Too was.
I was about to say, like House To sounds similar
in concept to troll To, or they just well, we'll
see completely house to. Well, yeah, well, troll To was
not has no connection whatsoever to the first Troll movie,
which I still think of as a as a pretty

(28:09):
decent horror film. The first Troll film is a fairly
decent horror film, and one that I would put into
a category with stuff like Gremlins and cramp Us, the
kind of horror movies that a like a preteen or
teenager might watch, and that's what kind of gets them
interested in the horror genre, because that's how it happened
with me. But um, troll Too is just a glorious mess.

(28:32):
But there's no point in talking about it because there
was a whole documentary made about it, you know, like
that whole thing is documented. So if you are if
you haven't seen troll To, it is worth getting a
group together to watch, just so you can occasionally say,
wait what. Um. It's the exact same reaction I had
when I saw one of Ariel's favorite movies, which is, well,

(28:57):
I'll hold up a thing and see if you can
figure it out. Oh, the room, Yeah, that's that's that's
that is up. He held up a plastic spoon, which
if you go to see a like a group setting
viewing of the room, or if you're at a very
generous friend's house, Um, on one of the tables, they
have a framed picture of a spoon. No explanation. There's

(29:18):
so much in that movie that defies explanation. Again, I'm
not recommending it. It's not a good movie. Do not
watch it alone. You will not make it. But you
have to watch it with friends who already know. But
whenever you go to the live showing, much like Rocky Horror,
you would interact with the movie and the audience. So
whenever they showed the framed picture of the spoon, people
would show throw plastic spoons. Towards a friend of the theater.

(29:42):
You always want to sit in the back of the theater,
or you can get helped in the back of the
head with plastic spoons. You don't think they're going to
hurt as much as they do. Um, but um, it
is a fun experience. That being said, when you're talking
about troll and Troll Too, I realized something, What's that
I've seen those, but I cannot pull out what happens

(30:02):
in those from what happens in Earnest Scared Stupid other
really bad horror movie that I enjoyed. Well, I haven't
watched it in a long time. It was funny because
I watched Troll Too for a show that I used
to do with with my friends i As and Eric
called Podcast without Pretense, and we Patrolled Too. Because I
had thought that I had not seen the whole thing.

(30:24):
I thought I had only watched a little bit of it. Um,
And so the whole idea was that we were just
going to see how long we could go watching bad
movies with no distractions nearby. And the longer I went,
the more I realized I had seen the entirety of
Troll To. I just forgot that I had watched the
whole thing before, and which was kind of a It

(30:47):
was not in the spirit of the experiment, because the
whole idea was that you were supposed to watch something new,
but you were also supposed to get rid of any like.
You weren't supposed to have your phone with you or
your computer up. You weren't even supposed to talk to
someone else in the room. You were just supposed to
focus on the film and see how long you could go.
And um, yeah, but that was due to my terrible
memory and the fact that that I think my brain

(31:08):
was trying to preserve my sanity by erasing that from
my But but every time, every moment that went by,
I thought, no, I've seen this sequence before. It must
have been here where I stopped, and the next scene
would start like, Nope, seen this one too. Listen. We
have a mutual friend who did that with aunt Man
in Wasp or aunt Man, one of the two. She said,

(31:30):
I've never seen this, and we invited her pre pandemic
over to watch it, and then all the way through
she's like, I've seen up to this point, all the
way through the entire movie. Yeah, I mean some movies,
well to be fair, like all the origin story movies
of Marvel are the same film, so it's easy to forget.
But yeah, I think. I think for me, a good
bad movie in general, and a good bad horror movie

(31:52):
in particular, it needs to have some certain qualities in
order for it to qualify. One of those is that
it cannot be intentionally bad. The filmmaks shark Nado, like
Shark Nado Asylum films are terrible. Those are films made
by committee for the sole purpose of being cheap, knockoff
bad movies. And that's just so, there's no there's no

(32:15):
fun to that. Like the fun part is watching someone
who was creating something and they just they just failed miserably.
And it's not to make fun of the person, but
rather to just see the level of commitment that went
into something that was a total misfire Like that, to
me can be really entertaining. But it has to be

(32:38):
it has to be honestly gained. It has to be
honestly bad as opposed to manufactured to be bad on purpose.
I agree, I agree. I think for me, there are
some movies that are are bad on purpose, like the
FP that I think are really well done, but it
has to have a level of buy in from the
actors where they are really committed to the story and
the characters are making no matter how numb it is,

(33:00):
and that's that's what sells it for me. Well. And
also those movies I think of as almost being more
like parodies of a genre as opposed to we're setting
out to make a bad movie. So like the FP
or Turbo Kid, Um, those those movies to me feel
like it just scared stupid. I'm not going to put
that one in there, but it feels like it feels

(33:21):
like those were sincere efforts to do a spoof or
parody on something, almost like it's a loving homage to
a genre film that the filmmakers love, but they also
recognize how ridiculous and absurd those movies are and they're
embracing it. That's not quite the same as sort of
the cynical cash grab approach that Asylum typically goes after.

(33:46):
But I mean, like it's it's a weird line to
drop it. Like if you watch a lot of them,
like MST three K movies, which I would say largely
fall into science fiction, a lot of them are kind
of scarier science fiction, So could delve into horror. Again.
Those are so good because the actors are trying m
It doesn't mean that they succeed, but they're trying so well.

(34:10):
In a moment, you're going to hear your beloved hosts
try to mash up a couple of different properties. But
before we get to that, let's take another break. Okay.

(34:38):
So one of the two things we decided to use
in our mash up was this little film franchise also
has some like you know, TV series and comic books
and novels and video games and cartoons. You might have
heard of it, Star Wars um. I mean we talked
about it earlier, earlier in the episodes. If you're paying
attention with a soca, that whole thing. Yeah, So we

(35:01):
decided that we were going to take the Star Wars
universe and mash that up. And because it is the
end of Halloween, we wanted to mash it up with
something scary, and Ariel suggested Scream. So we have mashed
up Scream and Star Wars, each of us have. And
I should also add, just in case you're not familiar

(35:22):
with Scream, that's a franchise that started off with the
idea of kind of deconstructing the slasher film genre where
the characters who are in the film are aware, like
the slasher films are a thing in that universe, right,
Like a lot of the movies you watch, characters are

(35:44):
unaware of certain things, like like a lot of zombie movies,
characters have never heard of zombies before, so they never
call them zombies because in this world, apparently zombies are
not a a thing in pop culture. Well, just like that,
you know a lot of slasher films. No one knows
about slasher movies, screams, different slasher movies exist, and you

(36:04):
even have a character who specifically lays out the rules
of slasher films and how, uh you know, how you
can try to survive a slasher film. So it it,
like I said, deconstructs them. And there are five of them,
and uh, the main character, or at least a a

(36:27):
primary character, is Sydney Prescott, who she was the the
final girl in the first film and has so far
made it through all the others. We assume that, well
we don't assume she may or may not make it
through the next one, which is coming out soon. So
I think that's a good summary of scream So Ariel,

(36:49):
which of us would you like to go first? Um?
I can go first. But I just want to say
that this was not all of my brilliance that Um
I was inspired because Mike Flannagan, who did Midnight Mass
and dr Sleep and all that, wants to do a
horror Star Wars. Not that you know, we didn't just
get a scary lego Star Wars show books about it.

(37:12):
But but you know it's not uncommon. You know, there's
nothing scarier than stepping on a piece of lego. Yeah. Now,
I will say that that that's kind of interesting to
think of a horror Star Wars simply because we've already
we've had a heist Star Wars movie with the Han
Solo story, and we've had a dirty dozen style Star
Wars movie with Rogue One. So I'm curious if we're

(37:34):
going to get a Star Wars musical. Are we gonna
get like, like, are we gonna get every genre? A
romantic comedy Star Wars. I would love a Star Wars musical.
There's there's a kind of like music key episode of
Star Wars Visions that I'm only part way through. Some
people would say that the prequels to Star wars are
a horror well, and some would even say can extend

(37:58):
that to the sequels? Yes, anyhow, I am not necessarily
that person. So that being said, I'll go first. And
this is called in scream. No one can hear you space. Okay,
wait before you start kudos on the title, thank you,
thank you. Um. This is because that's all I'm gonna

(38:18):
get kudas on this time. Probably all right, Someone we
don't know or don't have time to care about gets
murdered with cauterized wounds, and that's how the story begins.
It's only the second time ever a murder has happened
in this little town that I don't remember the name of,
and the wounds are the same as the previous murder
that happened in this little town, the wounds that belonged

(38:41):
to the previous murdered person Sidney Prescott's mother, and so
it gains media coverage. Next we see Sidney Prescott, who
is chilling at home when this happens, contemplating her mother's death,
specifically wondering who in the world would be mean enough
to name their child Cotton weary. No wonder he ended
up being a killer and killing her mother, and that's
when Sydney gets a confusing phone call, a phone call

(39:03):
that is only deep, creepy breathing. Sydney, a bit disarmed
by this, checks her doors and windows and sees a tall,
dark figure cloaked in black, standing in the corner of
a hallway in her home. As the figure pulls out
a red laser sword and lunges toward her, she evades it,
only to lose sight of where the intruder is. As
she runs outside to get help, she runs into her boyfriend,
who pulls out an inhaler into tells her it'll be okay.

(39:25):
The inhaler sounds an awful lot like the creepy phone call,
and she calls the cops on her boyfriend and he
is put in jail. The next day, at school, Sydney
has an uneasy feeling and finds it hard to concentrate
on her classes. Thankfully, school gets canceled that same morning
due the due to the distraction of having a bunch
of news crews in town because of a whole two murders,
and as Sydney walks past the girl's restroom, she hears

(39:47):
a noise that she think is that same creepy breathing.
She enters the bathroom, protractor in hand to protect herself,
only to see a malfunctioning toilet that won't stop flushing.
As she shakes her head and exits the restroom, we
see the tall, dark intruder exit a stall next to
the malfunctioning toilet, and that's when we see it's Darth Vader.
His shoulders shake as if he's laughing, and he exits

(40:08):
to find and kill the principle of the school. Now
that the kids are gone, Sydney's boyfriend is now obviously
not the killer, and so they let him out of
jail and the kids throw a party, because that's what
you do when you're grieving creeped out teenager. At the party,
which the news is also at, because Sydney happens to
be the daughter of the other murdered victim in town,
the teenagers do what all teenagers do. They get drunk

(40:30):
and they make out. Of course, some kids die and
other kids run away screaming, until we're left with only
Sydney and her core group of friends. As the core
group of friends all dispersed through the house to find
the killer, Sydney is left alone where she gets another
phone call from the killer, and then she hears it,
but not in the phone, the creepy breathing. She turns
around and she sees Darth Vader in her home and

(40:52):
now she knows it must be her boyfriend or his
bestie because they were both huge Star Wars nerves. But
then she sees her boyfriend in his buddy dead next
to Darth Vader. She tries to signal out the window
to the news crews to get help, but they're dead
on their van with smoking glowing holes through their chests.
Darth Vader walks towards Sydney, chuckling, and he pulls out

(41:13):
his lightsaber. She screams, who are you? What do you want?
And Darth Vader pulls off his mask and it's jar
Jar Binks. He slices at Sydney and we cut to credits.
You see Sydney was the final distant relative of some
Jedi is born in a galaxy so long ago and
far away that the world thought it was just to
make believe story. But jar Jar Binks it turns out
turns sit and gained immortality, making it his life's mission

(41:36):
to rid the universe of all traces of the Jedi
that ruined his life and left him a homeless clown.
Upon killing Sydney, he would fulfill his life's destiny and
rule the galaxies forever. Post credit scene, we see Jar
Sith leaving and laughing as he mounts his spaceship to
go back to his base. We see Sydney's hand lying
on the ground in her house. A finger twitches and
a knife starts inching towards it. Cut to black. So

(42:00):
I like that you have incorporated the fan fiction of
Sith jar Jar, yeah, which is is a recent thing, right,
fairly recent? Yes? All right, Well, before we get to
Jonathan's brilliance, we need to take one more quick break.

(42:27):
I feel like we have some some commonalities in our stories.
But but also I want to make clear that um,
I decided to do what I usually do, which is
create an entire huge amount of set up, and then
I ran out of time to actually have a movie
in there, So here we go. Mine is called Scream Wars.

(42:51):
Sydney Prescott has a problem. After all the terrible events
in Woodsboro and then at Winsor College, and then in Hollywood,
and then back in Woodsboro and then in Woodsboro again.
She has had enough, so she chose to travel far
away from her hometown, far far away, to another galaxy.

(43:13):
And she must have time traveled because now she's in
a place that was a long time ago. Well that's
not her problem, that's just the setup. See. She's decided
to move from the furthest point of the from the
bright spot in the galaxy, the furthest point from it.
It's a little desert planet called Tattooing, and she's working
on the Lars household moisture farm. It's hard work, but

(43:35):
it's satisfying and most importantly, Sydney is far away from
anyone she has ever known. But but we still haven't
gotten to her problem yet. So her problem is she
needs to go to Toashi Station to pick up some
power converters. But Luke, the nephew of Owen and Burrew Lars,
is like a total flake. He's proven to be completely unreliable,

(43:57):
constantly gazing off into the middle, disc ends and lamenting
that the world of Tattooing is boring. I mean, it
takes everything in Sydney not to grab Luke by the shoulders,
shake him violently and yell that boring is a good thing. Anyway,
on the day that she's supposed to go get those
power converters with Luke, he up and runs off with

(44:19):
a couple of droids that Owen had recently purchased. Now,
the mechanic droid was a real lost Sydney could see
a lot of potential in that R two unit, but
that Protocol droid was a real pain in the patookas
quite the chatterbox that one. But Luke's departure meant that
the land speeder was gone, which left Sydney stranded on
the moisture farm. Anyway, she goes off to do some

(44:39):
work on on the evaporators, you know, tending to them
and repairing a damaged one, and she's like a good
three hour walk from the Lars household. When she comes
back at the end of the day, she finds a
terrible scene. The home has been burnt down and the
Lars Is family, I mean they've they've been burnt to cinders.
And she spots a land seat speeder that's heading off
in the distance. It's it's Luke most likely, but he's

(45:01):
well out of earshot at this point. And worst of all,
in the sand, she sees a knife, a knife that
looks like it didn't come from Tattooing or some spaceport,
but from Earth. And then our communicator goes off. Luke,
she says, Hey, you need to swing back around and
come get me. Do you like science fiction movies? Says

(45:24):
a voice that's all too familiar on the other end
of the communicator. You gotta be kidding me, says Sydney.
I never a kid, said you should know that, says
the voice. Look, you've never been the same person twice,
so that kind of mind game just isn't gonna work. Creep.

(45:46):
I mean, you're literally a different person in every movie.
Sometimes you are two people. Sometimes it makes a little sense,
but often it doesn't make any sense at all. So
don't come at me with you. I know you see crap.
I've heard it all before. Whoa, whoa, Sorry, I'm new
to this, says the voice. Well, of course you're new

(46:08):
to this. I killed all the other ones. So what
you got a death wish to that? Why you want
to follow me all the way to Tattooed? Huh? Come
ambe bro, says sid. So you're on tattoo Weed, says
the voice. Good to know, and the communicator goes dead.
Sid groans and throws the communicator across the burned out

(46:29):
husk of the Lars home, skittering off a couple of
skeletons along the way, and she grabs some stuff and
starts trudging off into the distance, keeping an eye out
for sand people, but once she sees the distant lights
of mussis Lee, she uses a flare and before long
a traveler and a landspeeder comes by and gives her
a lift to the spaceport. Once there, she makes her
way to a cantina to refresh herself. Turns out Luke

(46:51):
was just there with some old guy who apparently disarmed
a creep literally and then made a deal with some
nerve herder and his enormous n bear. But Sid has
other things to worry about. Knowing she has to get
off the planet now because that ghost face guy, whoever
he or she or they might be, is onto her,

(47:13):
she starts searching around and eventually she finds a merchant
who's willing to give her passage, and it's only gonna
take every credit she ever earned as a moisture farmer,
But seeing she's out of options, she takes the merchant
up on the offer, she travels with a group of folks,
all headed off world to various locations. There's an athletic
young woman fresh off the pod racing circuit. There's a

(47:34):
musician who just recently got kicked off the Moss Eisley
Cantina band for not being alien enough. There's this weird
kid who keeps talking about the rules of science fiction movies.
It's an odd assortment of various character archetypes, and that
immediately triggers Sydney's paranoia. She realizes she's in a ship
filled with people who all fit certain character types, and

(47:56):
sure enough, not long after taking off, Sydney finds the
corpse of the musician. He's got a scorched slash across
his chest. She calls the others to the scene of
the crime, but of course she's the one who found
the body, so she's the one who comes under suspicion.
And then we have the supertense sequence, in which we
see a killer in black chasing after the various people

(48:17):
on the ship and knocking off one by one. But
we're gonna skip all that because, I mean, come on,
it's all stuff we've seen before. We know how a
screen movie works. So we get down to sid and
I don't know, maybe like four other people, because you've
gotta have some people there, so you don't really know
who ghost Faces. And then she comes into a confrontation
with him. Hello, Sydney, and Sydney's eyes narrow and she

(48:37):
draws a blaster, but suddenly ghost Face moves his hand
and the blaster flies out of Sydney's grib and then
ghost Face reaches up and removes the mask, and we
hear oh Darth Vader. Sidney asks, yes, Sydney, it was I. Um,

(49:01):
why asked Sydney. Well, your mom's Sydney. She was a
total tramp. She's seduced my dad and I have a
lot of unresolved issues and so I needed to take
them out on you, says Vader. You you don't have
a dad, says Sydney. That's a mean thing to say,
says Vader. No, I mean you literally don't have a dad.

(49:26):
You were conceived by the force. Remember we found that
out an episode one. It was dumb, it was awful,
but it happened. It's cannon la la la la la.
I'm not listening, says Vader. But by then Sydney has
made her way to a big leaver that says garbage dump,
and before a Vader can do anything, she pulls the
lever and shoots Vader out into space. And then she

(49:48):
turns to the pilot and says, all right, that's it.
I'm done. I don't want to be anywhere in this galaxy.
Set a course to Oracus. Then we get the in
theme Dude Dune, do do du Dune, Dune do do
du Dune, Dune do do due Dune the end for

(50:10):
those who don't know Iracus is in Dune. Um. Also,
I really like your sound effect for Fraser for Candle. Jonathan, Yeah,
thank you. I used the Frasier for Candle. Uh can
Tar's gonna hate me because she's gonna say, you know,
I could have just overlaid a digital effect on your voice.

(50:31):
There was no need for you to actually do that.
And I'm going to say, yes, I do know that
because she's awesome, But so are you, Jonathan. Thank you.
So that's all we have for you today. If you've
got ideas of there's really nowhere to go after that,
you gotta well again, like like I skipped all the

(50:53):
murder parts. Listen, I do the same thing. It's so
much easier to write right at the beginning in the
end than the middle. Um, unlike Marvel where they write
a good beginning middle and then there's ending a cookie
at her end. Um. But I did, I really enjoyed it.
That was quite fun and dissimilar enough. Yes. So yeah,

(51:14):
if you guys enjoyed these mashups and maybe have an
idea of how you would mash up Star Wars and
scream like is Amadala ghost face? Um, she's certainly pale enough. Um,
then write us and tell us how can they do that? Jonathan, Well,
they can do it by sending us an email. We
love getting those emails. The email address for the show

(51:34):
is l n C at I heart media dot com.
Or if what you have to say is succinct, you
might want to just drop us a line on social media.
So at Twitter we are ll n C Underscore Podcast,
and on Facebook and Instagram we are large NERD drunka Lider. Yes,
we would love to hear from you anything you think

(51:56):
about the topics we talked about, or topics you'd like
us to cover in the future, or just your opinions
in general. Um, we love hearing from you. Yeah, and
by the way, if if any of you out there
did like super nerdy, awesome, geeky Halloween costumes, we would
love to see them. Yes, please share them with us
h and also share our episode with your friends if

(52:19):
you like it and like and subscribe and leave a review.
All of that is super helpful, but mainly your costumes
and one other I'm going to plug one other thing
arial and that is well two things. I'm gonna plug
two things. Thing number one is that today as this
episode comes out, uh, my episode of Thirteen Days of
Halloween goes live. So Thirteen Days of Halloween is a

(52:40):
horror anthology series. There is a narrative that goes throughout
the entire series. My episode is episode ten, so you
could go back listen to all of them. I recommend
doing it. They're fun, creepy ghost stories makes me think
of like the kind of ghost stories you would tell
around the camp fire, that kind of thing. It's done
in three D audios. You need to listen with like

(53:01):
headphones on, and it's really effective stuff that way. And
it was a blast. It was a real pleasure to
be part of that show. So that episode is up now.
You should check that out. And the second thing I
want to plug is my little baby sister who's just two.
She's just two years younger than I am, but she
is one of the puppeteers who puppets a character in

(53:22):
the latest episode of Doom Patrol. So if you're watching
Doom Patrol and you see the puppets in the most
recent episode, the one that goes live today, then that's
one of those is controlled by my sister. And I'm
just so proud of her. So I wanted to just
give a shout out to Amy. It's super awesome. You
are awesome, Amy. Uh. Well, that wraps it up until

(53:43):
next time. I have been Aerial, first to die in
the movie Casting, I have been Jonathan kit Kats drinkling
m mm hmm, mhm h m hm. The Large nurderun

(54:17):
Collider is production of I Heart Radio and was created
by Ariel Kasten. Jonathan Strickland is the executive producer. This
show is produced, edited, and published by Torri Harrison. For
more podcasts on my heart Radio, visit the I heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
favorite shows.